It used to be that when a show got cancelled that was it. It simply ceased to exist as a new product. If there were enough episodes it could last in syndication on both broadcast and cable for a good while, but rarely was it accessible to the point where a fan could have the entire series at their disposal. Some shows received VHS releases, but often they were sparse. Then home media became more affordable. DVDs were both cheaper to manufacture than VHS and could store more information. We started to see full season releases for shows, both active and cancelled. In some cases, the home media market was so great that previously dead programs were able to come back. Now we’ve entered the streaming age where massive entertainment companies are seeking to profit off of their libraries. Those profits have been a bit hard to come by though so these archives need to be supplemented with original programming. Some of that original programming is entirely original or at least only touched by an existing intellectual property (think The Mandalorian) and then some is either a reboot or continuation of an older show.
X-Men ’97 is a continuation of the now classic X-Men animated series that aired as part of the Fox Kids Network from 1992-1997. The original X-Men cartoon was a massive success and turned Wolverine and Gambit into household names. It attracted eyeballs in the millions, sold a bunch of toys, and made lifelong comic book fans out of a generation. For me personally it quickly became my favorite show on television and I was hooked for the show’s entire run. It put Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the rearview mirror as this was something mature, something that more respected my intelligence, and gave me more to chew on. I still adored playing with my X-Men toys and sporting X-Men t-shirts so it’s not like it turned me into an adult overnight or anything, but it was something I genuinely loved in the moment and I still have a ton of admiration for. Having that show continue from where it left off in 1997 was something that didn’t even seem worth dreaming about as that’s how unlikely I felt it would be. Perhaps Disney, who has yet to fully introduce Marvel’s mutants into its vast Marvel Cinematic Universe, wanted to give folks a little primer on what the X-Men were all about? Whatever the reasoning, I am positively giddy like a kid once again that my favorite superheroes are back in an all new television series.
The intro is basically a shot-for-shot remake of the original.
X-Men ’97 was announced in November of 2021. At the time, my assumption was the series was being ticketed to launch in the fall of 2022 to mark the original show’s 30th anniversary. That obviously didn’t happen and the show was slated for 2023, but then slipped to March 2024. For the revival, Marvel selected Beau DeMayo (Moon Knight, The Witcher) to be the head writer with Jake Castorena as the supervising director. From the old show, Eric and Julia Lewald were brought in as consultants along with Larry Houston. Much of the original cast was returned including Cal Dodd as Wolverine, Alison-Sealy Smith as Storm, George Buza as Beast, and Lenore Zann as Rogue. Father Time unfortunately necessitated recasts for both Cyclops (now Ray Chase) and Magneto (now Matthew Waterson). Other voice actors, like Chris Potter (original voice of Gambit) and Catherine Disher (original voice of Jean Grey) were brought back for other roles rather than their existing ones. Such a choice is puzzling, unless we’re talking about a unique case such as Alyson Court who no longer wished to voice Jubilee since she felt the role should go to an actual Asian-American.
The action sequences are where this show will really be able to separate itself from its predecessor.
The show did premiere under a bit of a dark cloud. It was announced that credited series creator Beau DeMayo was fired the week of the show’s sneak preview and a little more than a week out from the Disney+ premiere. As the days went by, the head of animation at Marvel Studios, Brad Winderbaum, revealed some snippets of what was going on. It doesn’t sound like anyone was upset with the quality of the work DeMayo was turning in, and we’ve only heard rumors that he was “difficult” to work with. The term difficult in such a situation can be a loaded one. How many women and people of color have heard that excuse because certain individuals don’t respond well to confrontation from minorities? DeMayo, a gay, black, adopted man was someone who really identified with what the X-Men stood for and removing that voice from the show is certainly a risky move if the show is deemed a success. Winderbaum doesn’t get into specifics on the situation, but does try to frame it as a parting of ways between the showrunner and Marvel.
The group is probably more reflective of the foes to come than the group from the original.
Based on my viewing of the show’s first episode, “To Me, My X-Men,” it would appear that DeMayo’s exit indeed has little to do with the quality of the show. This first episode is the show getting its feet wet. It’s a way to reintroduce these familiar faces in a fun way that does harken back to the original series. It opens with a new version of the classic intro. The song is remixed slightly and all of the character introductions have been recreated and new characters have been added. It still ends with Professor Xavier and Magneto clashing together, though the villains side has been updated with what are probably better, more reflective choices (so long, Gremlin) given who the X-Men typically clash with.
The mutant who will come to be known as Sunspot is basically the Jubilee of this series, only his official joining of the X-Men will have to wait for a later day.
Similar to the premiere episode of the original series, X-Men ’97 includes a plot in its episode about bringing a new mutant into the fold and makes the Sentinels the big threat. Even though the show is longer now (it’s listed at 34 minutes, the actual episode is closer to 28), the episode still moves at a snappy pace. We find the team dealing with the aftermath of the professor’s passing. Cyclops is now the leader and is perhaps a little too forceful with his approach which rubs some members of the team the wrong way (namely, Wolverine). The Friends of Humanity are up to no good and have even repurposed some Sentinel tech into weapons of their own that basically resemble Mega Man’s Mega Buster. Roberto Da Costa (Gui Augustini), a wealthy teen who has been abducted by the FOH, is the one in the Jubilee role this time around, though his trek through the mansion is quite brief. The show appears confident that its audience is going to be pretty familiar with these characters and a more robust introduction was not needed.
The Friends of Humanity are back and they’re packing heat.
Other elements of the premiere include the addition of Valerie Cooper (Catherine Disher, the original voice of Jean Grey) as a government liaison for Cyclops and his team. DeMayo, when he was doing press for the show, described Cooper as the thesis for the show so it will be interesting to see how she’s utilized going forward. There’s also the plotline of Jean being pregnant and what that means for her and Cyclops’ future. The first episode ends with a pretty seismic change to the status quo, though if you saw the trailer it won’t come as a surprise and it’s likely the end you expected. Even so, I’ll save talk of that for episode two.
Wolverine still isn’t allowed to smoke, but looks like he’s now allowed to drink.
The first episode is a great reintroduction for the X-Men and really seems to setup what we’re looking at. It also establishes the look of the series. I’ve been a little wary about that going in, but after one episode I will say my fears were unfounded. This show looks as good as it can in 2024. It’s digitally hand-drawn by Studio MIR which is the right approach given that celluloid animation just isn’t done anymore. Stylistically, there will be folks who prefer the look of the old show, but objectively speaking this one animates much better. That is on full display during the action sequences which are far more fun and inventive. This feels like a show directed by people who as kids wondered just how far the super powers on display here could be pushed. Storm, considered an Omega level mutant in the comics and now show, really gets to show off what she can do to such a scale that I worry if the writers can keep her consistent.
I should have expected this, but I didn’t.
The episode includes closing credits done in the same style as the original show’s first season with a character model spinning in place and a brief descriptor of their powers below. Before it can cycle through all of the characters though, it cuts to a static image of the mansion for the rest of the credits. Was this a nod to how the first season’s ending credits would never get to Jubilee? That always drove me nuts as a kid. If it is in reference to that it’s a bit of clever humor, though I’d rather just see all of the characters get spotlighted. And that’s the one failing, if you will, of this episode is that most of the characters don’t get to do a whole lot. That’s going to happen with such a large cast, one that has even been increased since we last saw this group in action. I would imagine we’ll get spotlight episodes to come while also maintaining a serialized approach. Yes, what network executives hated for their broadcast channels in 1992 is the preferred method of story-telling in 2024. The only other disappointment for me was no in memoriam for the people we’ve lost since the original show went dark. It would have been nice to at least see a tribute to original Cyclops voice actor Norm Spencer and the original voice of Magneto, David Hemblen.
Storm is allowed to cut loose in this one, but will she be allowed to do so in every episode?
X-Men ’97 in its debut episode manages to strike the right balance between new and nostalgic. The fan service hits right and its reserved for parts of the show where fan service is appropriate. It also establishes a tone for the show which is in-line with the serious, dramatic, original series though it’s also apparent that this one will be allowed to be a little more grown-up (Wolverine and Morph are shown enjoying a couple of cold ones). That makes sense since the target audience is the kids of 1992, but it also likely won’t want to alienate the kids of the kids of ’92. It also left me wanting more which was good since this was a two episode premiere. I’ll get to that episode in another post, but the main takeaway for me is our beloved X-Men have been placed in good hands and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
A few years ago, I talked about my love of X-Men, the animated series, via a book review of Previously…on X-Men by Eric Lewald. That book chronicled the development of the 92 animated series that helped propel the Fox Kids Network to the top of the Saturday morning leaderboards through notes from the author and…
Mondo has been absolutely killing it with its sixth scale line of action figures based on the now classic animated series X-Men. The company also really ramped up production in 2023 on the line by soliciting five new figures during the year. At over 200 bucks a pop, it was quite the hit to the…
A lot of cartoons made an impact on me as a child. My first love was The Real Ghostbusters. Its goofy cast of characters and excitement were plenty of fun and there were interesting toys to supplement the series with, which was pretty much the goal of all cartoons in the 80s. The Teenage Mutant…
After getting short-changed by toy manufacturers for decades, Jean finds herself with two animated versions in the span of a few years.
If you are reading this the day it goes live then Happy X-Men ’97 Day! Today is the day the long-awaited sequel series to X-Men debuts on Disney+. Rather than fast-track a review of the first two episodes to this blog, I decided instead to do what I most often do: review an action figure! It was in 2020 that Hasbro announced a subline of Marvel Legends based on the 1992 animated series which were released throughout 2021. Arriving in attractive VHS styled boxes, the X-Men line was more dud than hit. I wanted to love it, but it was hard to shake the feeling that Hasbro was just phoning it in. Despite that, I still bought them all and I continue to buy some of the tie-in figures since Hasbro decided not to deliver the full team. That’s why when the first wave of X-Men ’97 action figures arrived last fall I used it to supplement my existing roster of characters by picking up Magneto, Rogue, and Gambit. The figures had an animated look, though they lacked the cel-shading of the VHS line, but were close enough. Just in time for the debut of the series is wave two. It’s comprised mostly of new characters like Goblin Queen and X-Cutioner as well as some redos in the style of X-Men ’97. As a result, it’s a less attractive wave for me since I don’t want letter of the day Magneto and the VHS Cyclops was one of the few figures I actually liked. However, there was one figure in the line that intrigued me even though I had the VHS version: Jean Grey.
The new figure has a bit of a dead eye going on, but it’s better than the old which looks like a duck-faced Sharon Stone.
I’m not sure which figure was my least favorite in the X-Men VHS line from Hasbro, but the fact that Jean is in the running should probably say enough. The figure is dated and Hasbro couldn’t even be bothered to get the color of her costume right, but more than anything, I just hated the portraits. The figure was a re-release of an existing figure with a new paint job as that’s basically all of the effort Hasbro could muster when it came to the line. She had a ponytailed portrait, but it looked nothing like the version of the character from the show. They also included her down hair portrait, even though she never sported that look in that costume during the entire show’s run, and it was a release that just left me all sorts of grumpy in the end. The only positive I could lay on it was that the cel-shading was actually done pretty well given the standards of the line.
I know there are a lot of people who dislike cel-shading on their figures, but this costume needs something because the design is rather plain.
Jean gets a redo with X-Men ’97, and like most of the characters in the show making a return, she still sports a look that’s very similar to her ’92 counterpart. It’s a costume based on the look Jim Lee gave her and based on some of the promotional artwork I’ve seen it looks like she’ll have the ponytail some days, and let her hair down on others. The figure itself comes in the usual blister and Jean has her hair down look on the card despite the default portrait being the ponytail one. The figure stands approximately 6.25″ to the top of the head. Her costume is basically now a pale orange and dark blue. The figure is mostly orange plastic with a V-shape of blue on the front of the torso and a more rectangular one on the back. The shoulder pads are little cuts of blue plastic pinned into the top of the joint. The belt is still separate from the body, but it fits quite snug to the crotch piece. Paint is largely reserved for the face, X logo, and the blue parts of the arms and hands. The blue on the torso appears to be plastic that’s been plugged into the orange portion. The legs have a lot of sculpted details to the costume, but zero paint which give the figure an unfinished look to it. It’s obviously a limitation to some degree of the character design, but some linework in the grooves cut into the legs would have added a lot.
New Jean seems to scale smaller, but I like that. The smaller head relative to the body is a better fit for the source material as well.
The main draw of this figure for me is simply the default portrait. Jean is sporting a very neutral expression to the point where she looks almost bored. The face and ears are at least painted okay, though it’s a little messy around the right ear. The blue trapezoid shape on her forehead is just painted on and lacks presence since it blends in with the dark blue cowl. The hair is a separate piece of bright, orange, plastic. The sculpt is fine, but Hasbro missed a paint hit as her forehead is visible between the top of the cowl and hair and it’s just left blue. Her part is going in the right direction though and her ponytail isn’t stupid long so I consider it a win. Her eyes are also blue this time, which is consistent with the animated series. The prior release went with the comic green eyes. Most of the colors match with the only one being off the crotch piece which is a darker orange. It’s more noticeable in pictures than in person.
Looks like they missed some paint on her forehead. As far as I know, this is true for all of the figures.
The portrait isn’t a homerun, but it’s a solid double and a vast improvement over the VHS figure. And if you’re like me then I have good news as the size of the ball joint on both figures is the same. If you want, you can put this head on the VHS Jean body and the only blemish is the dark blue cowl which should be shaded black. It’s not enough to bother me and since the cel shading was executed well I do think this will be my preferred Jean going forward. I do think the forearms on the new figure are a better match for the original series as well when it comes to the gauntlets she wears, but they’re the wrong color and I don’t know how easy it would be to swap the arms. The shade of orange wouldn’t be an exact match either, but someone more committed than me could definitely kitbash the hell out of these two figures.
She does seem even smaller when put next to Rogue and Bishop.
As for the actual, new, figure, it does some things better than the old while also creating its own issues. For additional accessories, we get the hair down portrait. Swapping is easy and the hair looks fine, but will lock the head down and cut out almost all articulation at the neck. This portrait has a slight smile to it, but it’s again another lifeless face. She looks like a mannequin. Aside from that, it’s at least painted well and the hair hides the ears. The only other accessories is another set of hands. She comes with a right fist and an open left hand. The second set is a style pose pair that are open and very similar (if not the same) as the open hands that have come with past Jeans.
“Look, mom! Double elbows!”
The articulation is an area where this new Jean differentiates itself from the past ones the most. As far as I know, we’re dealing with all new sculpts here. The head is on a double ball peg instead of the hinged ball peg the other Jean has. It’s an improvement, though once again Hasbro buried the lower ball too deep in the neck needlessly limiting the range. She barely has any range looking down and only a little looking up. Rotation and tilt are fine, but Hasbro needs to figure these joints out. The shoulders are standard hinged pegs and she can raise her arms out to the side a full 90 degrees from the body. There’s a biceps swivel past that, pin-less double-jointed elbows, and a swivel and hinge at the wrist. The elbows will bend well past 90, though it’s not the most attractive joint. This Jean can at least get her hands to her forehead though.
Aside from the cowl being a little off, I think this looks pretty good. Certainly an improvement.
In the torso we have…nothing. It’s almost bizarre to see no articulation cut into a torso even though it’s theoretically a cleaner presentation. Instead, we get a ball joint at the waist. It goes forward and back a bit and offers full rotation and tilt. This is in comparison to the prior Jean which had a ball joint in the diaphragm and nothing at the waist. It should be both! Why can’t we have nice things, Hasbro? The hips will go out to the side past 45 degrees, but shy of full splits. Jean can kick forward about 90 degrees, but not back at all due to the shape of her buttocks. There is a thigh twist and the double-jointed knees are pin-less and work fine. The ankle hinge bends back all the way, but not forward very far. The ankle rocker is pretty steep, but there. Lastly, the ponytail just pegs into the back of the standard head and can rotate.
Yup, this is how she’s going to live on my shelf.
Is this new Jean an improvement on the old? Yes and no. There’s a softness to the sculpt, and when combined with the lack of any articulation cut into the torso as well as no paint, it gives the figure a very plain appearance. The softness does appear to at least resemble the animation, though I’m sure the show will feature shading of some kind. I don’t know why Hasbro didn’t get her a ball joint in the diaphragm as that would have really added to the articulation, but instead it’s just mediocre. It’s nice to see the arms updated with double-jointed elbows and I prefer the sculpted-in forearm gauntlets, but not enough to display this figure in place of the VHS version. Instead, I’m just taking this new head, slapping it on the old body, and calling it “good enough.” I just wish I didn’t have to spend another 25 bucks to get my Jean figure to this current state.
Get your X-Men fix right here before you check out the brand new X-Men ’97:
For some reason, Jean Grey has never been treated well by toy makers. Back in the Toy Biz days, Jean had to wait several years to finally show up in the X-Men line of action figures, and once she did, it was in some gimmicky line in a costume that looked made-up. Her first, good,…
We’re going to keep this Marvel/Mutant Monday thing going for one more week! After taking a look at a trio of figures from Hasbro’s new X-Men ’97 line of figures in its Marvel Legends catalog I’ve decided to do one more: Bishop. The first three figures I looked at were basically all missing pieces to…
Previously, on X-Men reviews we looked at Magneto from the upcoming series X-Men ’97. The animated series may have been delayed into 2024, but the action figures from Hasbro are already here. And if you were collecting Hasbro’s line of figures based on the animated series from the 90s, this new line offers a chance…
It might seem amusing to folks younger than me who grew up on Marvel’s Avengers, but back in the first decade of the new millennium there wasn’t a hotter team of superheroes than the X-Men. The X-Men had been around since the 60s, but really took off as a comic book property in the 80s. That popularity helped land the X-Men on TV in 1992 via the hit Fox Kids show simply called X-Men. That show wrapped in 1997, but not too long after that came the film franchise, the first trilogy of which concluded in 2006. Following that, it was known throughout the industry that Fox intended to break-up the X-Men for future films with rumors that Wolverine, Magneto, and I want to say even Gambit were expected to get solo films. Of them, only Wolverine managed to land his own film franchise, but during that same era came a new animated series: Wolverine and the X-Men.
If Wolverine was the franchise’s biggest star and set to lead his own film franchise, then it made sense to have a prominent television tie-in to keep the kids interested, especially if the films were going to aim a little older. The show premiered in January 2009 on the Nicktoons network which means Wolverine, Cyclops, and the rest are now all on equal footing with Tommy Pickles, Arnold, Stimpy, and the rest of the Nicktoons gang. The show was developed by Craig Kyle and Greg Johnson, and while I don’t think either has ever stated it, but the show feels like a spiritual successor to the first animated series. It has a very similar approach in that the world the X-Men inhabit has existed for awhile before we get to jump-in. These characters have a history with one another and we’re going to see some of that, or we’re just expected to already know. It’s a very dramatic series and not your typical Nicktoon as it’s not out to make the audience laugh. The characters are often pretty humorless, the stakes are high, and sometimes things seem rather grim. It’s also serialized and the type of show that rewarded viewers who tuned in each week for a new episode, but may have also alienated the ones who did not.
Back in 2009 I was not comfortable with the idea of Wolverine leading the X-Men. In 2024, I’m still not all that comfortable with it.
For me, I was well into adulthood when this show came about and I was immediately turned off just by hearing the name. Wolverine and the X-Men? First, we’re reducing the team to a bunch of Robins and it’s not just spotlighting Wolverine with the title, but actually making him the leader of this version of the X-Men. I’ve never liked the idea of Wolverine as a leader because a core part of his character is he’s a loner at heart. There always comes a point where he feels like he needs to close himself off to his allies and deal with things by himself. The show does take steps to address that, but it’s not something I ever become comfortable with. The second X-Men film does a solid job of making Wolverine a reluctant leader, but one of the failings of the third is he basically carries himself as a born leader. This show has some of that, it attempts to make him grow as a leader, but there’s a credibility problem throughout.
The portrayal of Wolverine turned me off and kept me away for years. The show also was not picked up for a second season following a debut 26 episodes. It’s said the financing partner had problems as a second season was in pre-production, but I think most attribute the show’s demise to the Marvel acquisition by Disney. That too took place in 2009 and Disney would refocus the brand onto film assets it had control over. That meant X-Men, Fantastic Four, and Spider-Man would see a reduction in marketing and promotion in favor of The Avengers. If Disney had wanted to step in and finance a second season of Wolverine and the X-Men it absolutely could have done so, but chose not to. Because of that, I felt no compulsion to even check out the show since nothing further was coming. When Disney+ launched I started watching it, but it didn’t hold my attention. Only recently have I decided to really give this one a shot. We’ve been deprived X-Men cartoons for a long time now and there’s a good chance I missed out on something special. And if I didn’t, well at least this would be a decent way to pass time during my workout.
The show begins with an unexplained tragedy and much of the show’s sole season is devoted to uncovering just what happened.
Wolverine and the X-Men begins with the X-Men well established. Wolverine (Steve Blum) and Rogue (Kieren van dan Blink) are in the midst of an argument as it appears Wolverine is blasting off by himself once again. Suddenly, Professor Xavier (Jim Ward) and Jean Grey (Jennifer Hale) experience what looks to be a terrible headache and an explosion results. There’s a massive crater on the grounds of the Xavier Institute and the other X-Men are all in some state of distress, except Professor X and Jean who have vanished without a trace.
Following the traumatic beginning, there’s a time skip of a year and humanity has created the MRD – Mutant Response Division which all mutants view as a threat to their livelihood. This prompts Wolverine and Beast (Fred Tatasciore) to reassemble the X-Men to fight back, but without the aid of a telepath the job is tough. Enter Emma Frost (Kari Wahlgren), a former headmistress herself of a mutant school, who wishes to offer her telepathic abilities in exchange for membership in the team. Wolverine agrees, and Emma is able to locate Xavier in Genosha, a small, island nation controlled by Magneto (Tom Kane). There they find Xavier alive, but in a coma. Magneto allows the X-Men to take Xavier home even though he very much clings to his own ambition to squash humanity with or without the help of the X-Men. Once home, the real plot begins as Xavier is able to telepathically reach Wolverine from 20 years in the future.
Xavier is able to communicate telepathically from the future with his X-Men, of which he’s chosen Wolverine to lead.
The season unfolds both in the present and the future. Xavier has awakened to find himself in a post apocalyptic wasteland. The war between humanity and mutants laid waste to everything and now the sentinels run the show. Yes, this is like a version of the classic “Days of Future Past” plot, but as a whole series. Xavier appoints Wolverine as the leader of the X-Men and charges him with reassembling the team so that they can prevent this future from happening. This will bring them into contact with past members, some join up, and some don’t. Most of them embody their typical archetypes, in particular Iceman (Yuri Lowenthal) and Shadowcat (Danielle Judovits) who are basically the happy-go-luck teens of the team. Then you have Cyclops (Nolan North) who is essentially a shell of his former self following the loss of Jean. Rogue has run-off to join Quicksilver’s (Mark Hildreth) Brotherhood of Mutants essentially defecting to the bad guys while former X-Men like Angel (Liam O’Brien) and Nightcrawler (also O’Brien) feel their talents could be better utilized elsewhere.
The season unfolds with Wolverine working to stop the MRD while Xavier has joined up with some mutants in the future to try and figure out just what happened. Time seems to operate on “Days of Future Past” rules where a day in the present equals a day in the future for Charles, so he can’t simply go back further in time to prevent the initial explosion. We’re basically fed breadcrumbs for the main plot throughout the season and it all pays off in a suitable way in the end. Also along the way are numerous one-shots sprinkled throughout like episodes where the X-Men have to help a fellow mutant avoid capture by the MRD or explore some relationships between team members. There’s naturally some Wolverine solo missions reaching back to his days in the Weapon X program. A lot of this type of stuff borrows liberally from the comics, but there is often some twist introduced. For example, Wolverine did not have a relationship with Silver Fox in his past, but a different woman the identity of which might have annoyed some, but I kind of liked. I wish it had been explored more, but I’m guessing that was being saved for a future season. The show is definitely at its best when it’s sticking to the main plotline, but some of the one-offs are entertaining.
Is anyone surprised to see Bishop among Xavier’s allies in the future?
Toonz Entertainment handled the production on the show which strikes me as a mix of how the characters looked during the Astonishing X-Men era with some stylization likely intended to give the show it’s own vibe while also making it easier to animate. A lot of the male characters are depicted with large upper bodies and tiny wastes with long legs. Even a short guy like Wolverine has pretty long legs, though he’s also not as short as he would have been depicted pre-Hugh Jackman era. The women are presented more straight up and down though their abdomens usually pinch-in dramatically. They’re also almost universally well-endowed. It’s all 2D, and if any 3D effects are in use they’re well hidden. The costumes are largely from the Astonishing era and I guess since this was a cartoon for digital cable they were able to get away with keeping them pretty true to book so Emma Frost looks like she’s about to burst out of her top in basically every scene she occupies. The animation itself is pretty good and there’s no denying that this show animates better than the Fox series. Whether or not you like the style present is certainly more of a subjective decision.
The music is appropriately dramatic. It very much feels like it was intended to evoke the film franchise and I wasn’t sure if I was even hearing compositions taken from the films itself. Film composer Michael Kamen doesn’t receive a credit, so I think this is just a case of the show’s composer Dean Grinsfelder doing a good job of inhabiting that style. The voice cast is basically all new for those of us who grew up on the old cartoon series. Steve Blum is a solid Wolverine. He knows when to add a little growl to his lines and when to play it more straight-up. I like Nolan North as Cyclops and was surprised at how much Tom Kane’s Magneto sounds like Patrick Stewart, which kind of makes me want to see Stewart play the character, but that’s obviously not happening. Nobody on this show makes me forget the cast I grew up on or replaces their voices in my head when I read dialogue in a comic, but I did enjoy what was here.
There’s a whole episode devoted to Marrow playing the role of Hogarth to this sentinel’s Iron Giant. It’s cute.
Wolverine and the X-Men consists of twenty-six episodes and there is a resolution to a lot of the questions the series has at the onset. That doesn’t mean it ends all neat and tidy as there very much was a new threat setup for the following season that never came. It’s a shame, because it could have been interesting to see how this show would handled some pretty familiar comic book plots. It also would have been fun to see how the team’s dynamic worked post finale as there were some changes.
I do think I was initially rather hard on the series and it was probably a mistake for me to dismiss it based on the premise. I did enjoy my time with the show, though it’s not perfect. Like a lot of X-Men media, the show struggles with the large cast. We wind up knowing plenty about some of the A-listers, but the B-team, if you will, gets very little time to shine. Shawdowcat and Iceman basically exist just for their powers and are given almost nothing to do aside from that. Ditto for Beast who serves the role of “smart guy” who can figure out most of their problems. Rogue and Wolverine have a lot of conflict at the beginning that just sort of fades away and gets a very quick, last second, resolution in the end. And part of this issue stems from the mutants in Genosha having their own plots as well as those in the future with Xavier. There’s a lot going on and the show was certainly ambitious with the scope of its plot. Even though it stumbles, I do appreciate how far the show tried to take things as it demonstrates a real faith in its audience to be able to follow along. They weren’t just trying to sell toys to five-year-olds.
With the show long dead, the only remaining question is “Should you bother?” I think if you’re a fan of the X-Men then this show is a fun diversion. Yes, if you end up liking it then you’ll feel some pain when it’s over since the show was cut down so unceremoniously. With X-Men ’97 continuing the adventures of the original show perhaps a revival of Wolverine and the X-Men is possible? I wouldn’t get your hopes up as the show definitely didn’t have the impact of the ’92 series, but I suppose anything can happen. I do think the show is enjoyable for what it is so while it sucks that there wasn’t a second season, watching this definitely doesn’t feel like a waste of time.
We have plenty more coverage of Wolverine and the animated X-Men:
A few years ago, I talked about my love of X-Men, the animated series, via a book review of Previously…on X-Men by Eric Lewald. That book chronicled the development of the 92 animated series that helped propel the Fox Kids Network to the top of the Saturday morning leaderboards through notes from the author and…
Mondo has been absolutely killing it with its sixth scale line of action figures based on the now classic animated series X-Men. The company also really ramped up production in 2023 on the line by soliciting five new figures during the year. At over 200 bucks a pop, it was quite the hit to the…
Halloween 1992 was when things really changed for the X-Men. A high-selling comic book was about to blow open and enter the mainstream with a hit new Saturday morning cartoon series. Spearheaded by Eric Lewald for Saban Entertainment, X-Men would become the highest rated children’s program on the Fox Network and the overall highest rated…
Over thirty years ago, ego and the dollar ruled. It was a world with a changing television landscape. It was the golden age for animation! On one side you had the CEO of The Walt Disney Company Michael Eisner who entered the world of television animation with one goal in mind: to make the best animation television has ever seen (and to make a lot of money doing so). As a rival there was Stephen Spielberg. He too wanted to create animation for television that didn’t look like it was created for television. Neither man was so foolish as to suggest that their output would be as good as a feature film, but it was going to be miles ahead of what had come before it. By the late 90s though, all that was coming to an end. The television boom in animation was over as networks were finding it cheaper to import shows already created. Kids would watch whatever was put in front of them and ego gave way to fiscal responsibility. Such can be seen in the transition from Gargoyles to The Goliath Chronicles.
Yup, we’re finally doing it. After spending years avoiding the third season of the Disney Afternoon show Gargoyles I finally decided to take a look and see what all the fuss was about. If you’re new to Gargoyles, basically the show aired as part of the syndicated Disney Afternoon in the mid-90s. It was one of the later additions to the programming block which started winding down in the years that followed. With that, came the end of all of the shows that were part of it unless they could find a home elsewhere. Gargoyles was one such show and given a stay of execution as it would be moved to ABC’s One Saturday Morning as Disney recently acquired the network. Going from syndication to a network show is a big change behind the scenes as it introduces a whole new round of standards and practices, those things viewers and television producers tend to hate. For reasons not entirely clear to me, basically all of the creative staff on the show was replaced including showrunner Greg Weisman. Some may have left of their own accord as a the third season was a mere 13 episodes and in animation writers like to seek out full-series orders, whenever possible. Weisman did contribute to the third season’s first episode as a writer and was a consulting producer for the third season, but he’s indicated his only contributions were essentially negations.
The third season came with a new intro featuring CG that has not aged well. Perhaps that’s why the Disney+ episodes feature the Season Two intro.
Nevertheless, the show must go on and it’s not like a giant company like Disney would let anything stop them from doing something they wanted to do with a property they owned. The third season was given the subtitle The Goliath Chronicles and ran for 13 episodes. The voice cast returned and each episode was given an introductory monologue by Goliath (Keith David), a mostly pointless addition, but not one without merit since more Keith David is never a bad thing. Carl Johnson returned to handle the music, but beyond that almost everything was different. Eric Lewald (X-Men, Exo-Squad) was brought in as the new showrunner and joining him in the writer’s room were a lot of folks also associated with Fox’ X-Men. Both shows were still in production with X-Men also receiving its own surprise final season order and it’s possible the writers were spread thin. As an added challenge, the new writers were completely new to the show from what was reported. If any had watched Gargoyles previously I couldn’t find confirmation. Perhaps not surprisingly, the third season of Gargoyles shares a lot in common with X-Men as the main, over-arching, plot concerns a KKK-like group called The Quarrymen introduced in the first episode. Taking the gargoyles to a more grounded world where they have to confront human prejudice doesn’t sound like such a bad idea on the surface, but of course it’s the execution that matters most.
Walt Disney Animation Australia certainly tries hard, I guess that’s all we can ask.
Perhaps the biggest change for an animation lover such as myself is on the production end. As covered in the opening paragraph, by 1996 there was little appetite at Disney to keep raising the bar for what was being shown on television when it came to animation. Gargoyles was taken from Walt Disney Animation of Japan and handed over to Nelvana which in turn outsourced a lot of the episodes to Akom and Hanho Heung-Up Company, neither of which carries the reputation of some of the studios that worked on the first two seasons. The final episode of the season was given to Walt Disney Animation of Japan and it’s a noticeable improvement, though perhaps still not on the level of prior seasons. The penultimate episode, “Seeing Isn’t Believing,” looks over-animated with a lot of exaggerated character movements like someone was trying really hard to impress. That was done by Walt Disney Animation Australia so perhaps it was like an audition of sorts. Most of the episodes use simpler lighting, flatter models, and less demanding staging. The addition of network censors means you’ll rarely see a character throw a punch and instead there’s lots of pouncing and the old animation standby move of a character on their back flipping an adversary off of them.
Given the amount of censorship on this season, it’s a bit surprising they got away with this pseudo gargoyle crucifixion.
Censorship and lesser animation are but a disappointment, but not something that should necessarily doom an animated series. When people cite the third season of Gargoyles as being just plain bad, I have to believe it’s largely due to the approach being quite different. The first two seasons were, more or less, serialized. One plot beget another and during many chapters of the show one episode lead into another. Networks hate that sort of thing because one delayed episode can ruin everything. Many also believe it makes it hard for viewers to jump in and out of a series and if you’re alienating first-time viewers then you’re not growing your audience. Either there was a mandate to end that, or having a bunch of new writers necessitated lore taking a backseat to stand-alone episodes. And it’s not as if the show’s first 65 episodes were all bangers, it’s just that filler episodes tend to get lost easier when a show is airing on week days as opposed to week ends. Much of this third season feels like filler. Some of these episodes could perhaps slide into the first two seasons without much trouble, and some would still stick out as poor.
When it comes to the poor outings, most of them come back to scope. Take “And Justice for All” where Goliath actually gets captured and arrested and put on trial. The recent run of from Dynamite Comics undertook such a plot and it needed the better part of 9 issues to resolve it. The Goliath Chronicles tries to do it in one episode, and while I wouldn’t expect the show to get all of the legal system accurately conveyed in a children’s show, this one still turns out like a mockery of the whole thing. I have my issues with the plot in the comics as well, so in this case neither medium hit it out of the ballpark, but one is clearly inferior and it’s among the least enjoyable episodes of the season. Another episode I strongly disliked was “To Serve Mankind” where Goliath is brainwashed into attempting to murder a peace activist on an international visit to New York. He gets as far as yanking the man from his limo which leads to a rooftop showdown with the non-brainwashed members of the clan and the police. It’s all resolved in the end, but with absolutely no repercussions for the gargoyles and nothing carries over.
Most of the season just feels like it could have been filler, which is how you end up with plots like Broadway goes Hollywood.
There are other episodes that are fine. Lexington (Thom Adcox-Hernandez) taking an interest in the son of Xanatos (Jonathan Frakes), Alexander, leads to a somewhat cute story in the season’s second episode, “Ransom.” We also get to see Hudson (Ed Asner) deal with his own diminishing eye sight by seeking the help of his friend, Jeffrey (Paul Winfield), who also happens to be blind. He’s a returning character and there are other episodes dealing with members of The Pack, the clones, and Demona. Nothing is overly consequential though giving their appearances more of a “Villain of the Week” vibe as opposed to furthering character growth. There seems to be a deemphasis on the magical component of the show in favor of something more grounded. Again, I don’t necessarily find fault with exploring how the gargoyles relate to the humans and their chosen city, but perhaps this was too drastic a change for most.
We also need to talk about Xanatos. The chief rival and villain of the series was basically turned into an ally at the end of the second season. The new writers can hardly be blamed for that turn, but it feels abnormal to see how much of an ally is he is to the gargoyles in this third season. He is often relied upon to save the day and there are moments where I expected a return to the Xanatos of old, but it never comes. He is, as far as I can tell, completely earnest with his reform and consumed with being a father to Alexander and a husband to Fox (Laura San Giacomo), who too is completely reformed. I don’t know that I really wanted to see Xanatos pull another 180 and go full villain once again, but some nuance would have been nice. There’s really no conflict to speak of between he and the clan, though some distrust is still felt. There is a moment where conflict could arise in “Ransom,” but Xanatos squashes it immediately. I don’t love what the later stages of the show’s second season did with Xanatos, but this third season did nothing to rectify that either and instead represents a doubling-down.
The Quarrymen aren’t a bad addition to the show, but are perhaps too on the nose.
There’s a lot that doesn’t work with The Goliath Chronicles, but I suppose there is some time to say what does. I liked the approach of introducing a racist group of gargoyle haters and making that a season-long conflict. I wish there was something done to differentiate The Quarrymen more from the very similar Friends of Humanity as well as real world inspirations. It’s not as if X-Men is the only show that can utilize KKK-adjacent hate groups, but it does feel like there was some obligation on this show to find another way. I did enjoy the episode “The Dying of the Light” and it’s one I felt could have been transported to the second season with relative ease. “Ransom” was enjoyable, though perhaps misplaced as the second episode of the season, and I did like catching up with the clones in a meaningful way in “Genesis Undone.” The season finale does a good job of wrapping-up the season. It even uses a runaway train in much the same manner as the movie Spider-Man 2. Perhaps it was an inspiration? If it was, it’s probably the most meaningful contribution the show made to pop culture.
What drove me to finally watch The Goliath Chronicles after all these years was essentially the fact that there are only so many episodes of this show, of this cast, that it felt silly to dismiss some out of hand. Is the third season bad? In a vacuum, no. It’s a perfectly cromulent season of children’s television. Is it up to the standards of the first two seasons? No. I do think over the years the first two seasons have become deified to a degree because the high points are so high and the show is limited to 65 episodes. I’m not even sure if the show’s worst episode exists in Season 3, but I honestly haven’t given that particular subject much thought. Talented writers worked on this season and, in general, they delivered C-average work. It’s certainly not spectacular, but it’s hardly a trainwreck.
What fans seem to dislike the most is that nothing in this season feels essential. Subplots like Goliath and Elisa’s romance are stuck in neutral with no advancement. Broadway and Angela do get established as a couple though, so there’s that.
Does all this mean that I’m actually giving The Goliath Chronicles a recommend? Well, not exactly. It’s disposable television and there’s an abundance of that out there to the point where it feels like one doesn’t have the time to waste on anything that isn’t wonderful. I do think if you’re a Gargoyles fan who has never watched it and dismisses it as trash then you do owe it to the show to actually watch it and see for yourself. It’s probably hard at this point to not go into it with an objective mind, but for those that do I think most would come away with a half-hearted “It’s all right.” If you just want to know the main story of Gargoyles and are only interested in the aspects of the story considered canon, then you don’t need to watch this. Even if this season were considered canon, really nothing happens that would have made it difficult to jump into a hypothetical fourth season. It’s all pretty disposable. You can safely stick to the first two seasons, the SLG comics, and the current Dynamite run for the core story. If you just want some new adventures with a familiar cast then at least The Goliath Chronicles might have something new to offer if you’ve been ignoring it for almost 30 years.
It was nearly 6 months ago that NECA unveiled one of its newest licenses for 2021: Gargoyles! I was incredibly pumped at the time to see that NECA had acquired Gargoyles because the license had so much potential. The show was basically a cult hit in the 90s often characterized as Disney’s answer to Batman:…
Happy Boxing Day! It’s been a minute, but we’re back with another figure in NECA’s line of action figures based on the 90s cartoon/property Gargoyles – Hudson! Hudson, who was wonderfully brought to life by the late Ed Asner, was always my favorite character in the show. He’s basically the old veteran of the group.…
We are getting oh so very close to assembling the original Manhattan Clan in action figure form! Disney’s take on gothic beasts originally included the following gargoyles: Goliath, Hudson, Bronx, Brooklyn, Broadway, and Lexington. The clan would grow from there, but those six are still the first that come to mind for me when I…
The littlest gargoyle finally makes his shelf debut.
It took a bit over two years, but the Manhattan Clan is at long last assembled upon my shelf. The last character to arrive is Lexington, the smallest and most unique from a design standpoint of the clan. This line was a bit unexpected when it was announced and it was like a dream come true for 90s kids who watched the show as part of the Disney Afternoon. NECA’s take on the characters may not be exactly what fans would have wanted if given the choice, but it has been pretty good. Visually, at least. There have been issues as well and the size of the wings packaged with each figure has been a point of contention. Lexington, being that he doesn’t feature the large wings of his brethren, is a different beast all together. He’ll take up less space on your shelf as a result, but he’s not without his own problems.
Lexington comes in the same five-panel box as the rest of the line, just a good deal smaller given his more diminutive stature. The artwork on the front by Djordje Djokovic (linework) and Nate Baertsch (paint) depicts Lexington in a rather fearsome pose and makes the little guy look about as ferocious as he could. The figure itself is sculpted by Djokovic who is apparently really into Gargoyles and has been given the honor of sculpting them all. Like the gargoyles before him, Lexington combines some of the characteristics of the cartoon with a more realistic approach. He’s very cut and muscular, but his face is pretty close to the show. Whether you like this approach or not, it’s consistent with the rest so you have likely already decided at this point, or just simply made peace with it.
He seems to fit in well enough with the rest of the clan.
Lexington stands at roughly 5″ depending on how bent you have his knees. He scales pretty well with the rest of the clan. Again, I think Goliath could be bigger, but the rest look pretty good. Lexington has a bit of a smile going on with his default head and I think it captures the essence of the character. The skin tone is an olive green with some black wash that looks rather nice and I really like the blue of his loincloth. He looks good, but then there’s the wings. Yeah, his wings aren’t a thing you have to account for space-wise on your shelf, but you do for the design and function of the figure. We’ll get into that part more when we talk articulation, but NECA opted to do his wings as two pieces of somewhat pliable plastic. They don’t have a ton of flex, but obviously aren’t the hard plastic the other gargoyles have. They peg into his back on ball-hinges and then are glued into his forearms and thighs. They don’t drape like the wings in the show, NECA would have had to go with more of a soft goods approach to get that look, and with his arms down they take on this wavy appearance. It exposes the gap between the torso and the mid-section of the wing and it’s not a great look. He almost looks better in a pose closer to what he’s doing on the box art, but that’s a challenge too.
“Stop complaining about the wings!!”
Is this the right approach? I don’t know. Lexington’s wings were always going to be a challenge as his are closer to actual bat wings in construction. When NECA first revealed a prototype for Lexington, it looked like they did his wings in pieces so he had a fin on his arms and another on his back or thighs. It’s similar to how S.H.Figuarts does capes where from certain angles it looks like one, continuous, piece, but in actuality it’s segmented. I didn’t love that look so I would say this is better, but I don’t like the material. I get why NECA chose this route because this is plastic they can sculpt and paint and the detail is consistent with the other gargoyles in the line. Had they gone with a stretchy fabric, it likely would have been one color, but maybe not? The movie Shredder figures have some pretty cool looking capes with designs on one side and solid colors on the inside. The Shadow Master Super Shredder that NECA did even has this faux leather material for the cape that would have made for an interesting solution. If NECA were matching the cartoon, that approach would have been a no-brainer since a solid color would have been fine. They’re not though, but I still think that would have been better and it makes more sense when we talk about the articulation. Probably the best solution would have been to do both and match the arms swappable. Hard plastic for flying poses, soft goods for casual.
I think this is how he’ll live on my shelf, I just wish we had something for the controller to go to.
We might as well jump into articulation now since I’ve already teased it. The head is on a double-ball-peg and it gets great range in all directions. That’s partly because NECA carved out a little section on the back of the neck to give the figure more range looking up. This means Lexington is actually the only figure in the line who could actually be displayed in a flying pose where he’s looking forward and parallel to the ground. That is good, but almost everything else is bad. The shoulders are incredibly tight on this figure. NECA seemed to really want to reduce any gaps to almost nothing because these are shirtless, hairless, beasts, but the shoulders sit so far in the torso that it kills the range. Lexington can’t raise his arms out to the side all the way, and worse, there’s little room for leverage to work the hinge. I have gone through two figures so far because I snapped a bicep peg trying to lower his arms. Even though I had my thumb right on the seem between the shoulder and bicep, it still snapped like a twig without much warning. I would later snap a foot off trying to put his alternate head on, so yeah, this one seems brittle. Thankfully, Big Bad Toy Store has a terrific return policy.
He can also pack some heat if that’s your preference.
The shoulders rotate fine and the bicep swivel works. The elbows are double-jointed, but hard to work with because of the wings and how they connect to the forearm. There’s just not a lot he can do because of that. Thankfully, the pegs on the rear of the figure where the wings go into the back are forgiving and will pop out if you try to do too much so there seems to be little chance of ripping the wings out of the arms or thighs, but this guy is just not fun to handle at all. The wrists rotate and hinge and the gripping hands have a vertical hinge, so that’s good. The diaphragm can rotate a little, but again, wings get in the way. The same is true for any forward and back motion. There is a waist twist and the hips are ball and socket joints with a thigh swivel built in. The knees are single-jointed and they peg in and hinge so you can swivel there. The ankles have a hinge and a rocker and the toes do the same. They’re pretty tight, but manageable. The tail pegs into the rear of the figure and has a hinge. It’s bendy, just like the other gargoyles, and can act as a support when standing the figure on a shelf.
The figure would have some limitations with or without the wings, just as the other figures in the line do. Lexington can’t, for instance, do his usual crouch where he has his hands on the ground. It’s like his default pose in the show, and the fact that he can’t do it in figure form is a bummer. Getting his arms up and spread like they are in the box art is also quite the challenge. If you rotate the shoulders over the figure’s head, carefully, you can get close. Introducing a NECA flight stand is a pain though since the wings get in the way of getting a grip on the torso. You’re better off with something that can grab the figure by the thigh. For most though, I’m thinking this is a set it in a basic pose kind of figure and then forget it.
I’m probably never going to display my figure with this thing, but I can admit it looks pretty cool.
Lexington does come with a solid assortment of accessories, but even here there is a bit of a letdown for one very specific reason. He has the slight smiling portrait and a yelling one with white-out eyes that looks pretty good. He also looks kind of funny with it since he’s so small, but that’s true even in the show. For hands, we get a set of open hands, a gripping left hand, a trigger finger right hand, and a set of fists. The gripping hand is for use with a remote control, which might be from the episode that introduced Coldstone, or brought him back, I forget. He also has a headset that slips onto his head without issue for communicating with Elisa. The trigger finger hand is intended for his crossbow, which is an homage to the original Kenner figure. Like Broadway and Brooklyn before him, Lex gets an updated version of his old weapon which looks really awesome. It has a thick, real, chain on it. I don’t know how well a chain would work on a crossbow, but it looks cool. There are also four bolts that can slot into it, though they don’t fire.
Well, they’re all here now.
That’s a solid spread that spotlights Lexington’s character traits with a techy set and then the homage, but what’s missing are another set of caped wings. NECA had specifically called out Lexington as a figure that would come with wings for another figure considering he’s a much smaller character, but none were included. Perhaps development costs on Lexington ended up being higher than expected, or it was more of a business decision. Everyone is going to want to add Lexington to their shelf, so why essentially give away a sought after accessory when it could go to another figure that could use a boost? As a consumer, I hate that mindset, but I get it. As of right now, Hudson, Broadway, and Angela are lacking another wing option. Broadway is getting a variant next year that’s basically the same figure, but in a soft goods trench coat. That one is coming with caped wings, which sucks and is annoying. We know MacBeth is on the way so it stands to reason he’ll come with wings for either Hudson or Angela. We also don’t have caped wings for Thailog, but I’m guessing he’s a lower priority. An armored variant could easily come with those. At least that’s a variant I’d have interest in.
In some ways, Lexington is one of my favorite releases in the line. He looks good, I think he’s properly sized, and I’ve just always liked the character. I don’t think it’s an overstatement to call him a fan-favorite. In other ways though, he’s the worst in the line. I don’t like handling him, and I think his wings look terrible in any pose that isn’t featuring them spread out. And even that’s a pain in the ass to get right. My pictures of this figure are so vanilla because he’s such a chore to work with. I basically don’t want to touch this figure ever again. I don’t really want to recommend it as a result, but the reality is, if you’ve been collecting this line you’re not going to stop before you add a Lexington. That would be silly. I guess just have low expectations and handle with care. Maybe one day we’ll get a better option.
If you’re interested in more Gargoyles reviews, check these out:
We are getting oh so very close to assembling the original Manhattan Clan in action figure form! Disney’s take on gothic beasts originally included the following gargoyles: Goliath, Hudson, Bronx, Brooklyn, Broadway, and Lexington. The clan would grow from there, but those six are still the first that come to mind for me when I…
For the first time in a long time, we did not have a Turtle Tuesday post this week. We do, however, have a Warriors by Night Wednesday for you! It feels like NECA’s Gargoyles line is the most stop-and-start action figure line I’m into of late. The line has seen large gaps between releases and…
Happy Boxing Day! It’s been a minute, but we’re back with another figure in NECA’s line of action figures based on the 90s cartoon/property Gargoyles – Hudson! Hudson, who was wonderfully brought to life by the late Ed Asner, was always my favorite character in the show. He’s basically the old veteran of the group.…
To my surprise, roughly an entire year passed between waves for Super7’s Disney Ultimates! line of action figures. That seemed to be a common occurrence in 2023 for the company as the same happened with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. At any rate, this was a line I was really excited for when it was announced as there isn’t a lot out there for Disney collectors who primarily like action figures. Wave One ended up being a mixed bag. The sculpts of Mickey, Pinocchio, and Prince John were there, but the paint was lacking and the quality was iffy. Wave Two was worse, though the only figure I bought was Robin Hood and I was not happy with it. I was so dissatisfied that I dropped my preorder for the Big Bad Wolf, but I had to keep one: Stitch. In my house, Stitch is pretty popular. I don’t consider him a classic Disney character, even though he and Lilo are now old enough to drink, but he’s certainly beloved by many. Now that he’s here, I’m happy to say he’s much better than Robin Hood, but is he worth $55?
The scale on this line is a bit weird, but I think it only matters that characters scale with other characters from the same film, and with Stitch, we don’t have anyone else from the film to compare to.
Stitch comes in the same Ultimates! packaging as the rest of the line. It’s been tailored to his movie and it looks nice, though the outer, shipper, box has been dropped. The slipcovers are going to be dropped as well, but this wave still has them. Stitch stands at around 3.75″ to the top of his head. Given that Ultimates! are 1:10 scale, this seems about right for Stitch. He’s the lone representative for his film though so figuring out where to put him might make the scaling seem weird. He’s a lot bigger than Mickey, not because of his height, but the chunk. He’s got some weight to him and it’s mostly found in his head. He’s going on my Disney shelf regardless, so he’s just going to have to fit in no matter what.
How can you not love that?
As for the sculpt itself, Stitch looks like, well, Stitch! He’s mostly blue plastic, but the painted details that are present look fine. The head is really well done and captures that dog meets koala design that seemed to drive the character’s looks. This is Stitch’s standard form once on Earth, so he only has the four limbs and no antennae. The head looks so good from a sculpt and paint perspective that it makes the body of the figure look cheap by comparison. There, the blue plastic is dominant and there’s some frayed seems on the sides of the figure that could be trimmed with a fine blade. The paint on the chest is mostly fine, but it’s kind of driving me a little nuts that it’s impossible to line-up the sides of the light blue portion on the upper torso with the same on the lower half. The overall feel of the figure is a bit mixed. He has a nice weight, but the lightness of the body feels cheap. It’s been the same story with the rest of the line. It looks fine, but does it feel like a premium collectible? No, not really.
Yeah, sure, I guess we can do something with this?
Super7 hopes to make up for that with accessories and Stitch has a ton of those. He had a lot of looks in the film, and Super7 selected a few to focus on. The standard head features a smile and looks fine, but he also has a similar one with a plunger stuck to his noggin. It’s cute, but not one I’ll ever use. He also has a portrait with his ears curled back and his tongue stuck up his nose. It’s a great visual in the movie and it’s executed really well here. He also has an optional right hand that’s holding a snow cone, and if you don’t like the disgusting origins of this tongue head, you can make him look like he’s licking the snow cone instead.
Super7 was very committed to recreating this very brief scene.
Stitch’s other heads are intended for more of a costumed look. There’s one with a chef’s toque that’s on a neutral expression. It pairs with optional oven mitt hands and a massive cake which was shown in the film’s epilogue. The cake is just a brick of plastic even bigger than Stitch. It looks fine, but certainly feels a bit excessive. The other head features a polka-dotted bathing suit top over his ears and squinting eyes. It’s to be paired with a soft goods and fully wired cape to recreate Stitch’s “Batman” outfit from the end of the film. The cape just affixes via two tabs on the cape where the wire runs through. It’s not super secure, but it seems to work. This is probably my favorite look for the character and it’s a lot of fun to have in figure form.
Obviously, this is his best look.
Stitch also has a couple of additional toys to make use of. There’s a set of sunglasses which fit on the standard head just fine. You can put them on the other heads too, but they’re intended for the standard one. He also has his laser gun with the carrot jabbed into the end. It has a hand molded onto it so it’s technically an optional hand just like the snow cone. It’s pretty heavy though and getting Stich to stand while holding it is pretty tough. The carrot also isn’t removable which is an odd choice. Perhaps it was mandated by Disney? I kind of doubt it, but I’m not ruling it out.
I’m surprised I got him to stand with this gun hand.
That’s a healthy spread of accessories, but given what was there to work with in the movie I’m sure everyone and their mother will have something they wish was included instead. The plunger head and the whole baker look is definitely one I could have done without. I’d trade both for an Elvis outfit without question. His book or Lilo’s doll would have been nice, or something indicating his “Badness” level. I don’t think Super7 necessarily did wrong here (okay, maybe I personally think the big plastic cake is pretty stupid), it’s just the reality of being able to only fit so much into the box. If the figure does well, I could certainly see them doing more versions like an Experiment 626 with extra arms or a Halloween edition where he’s in his Dracula costume.
You probably won’t be able to do much with your posing on this one.
The Ultimates! line is rarely celebrated for its articulation, and with Stitch that is about as true as ever. This is a figure that can’t do a whole lot. The head is just on a big ball joint so you get range in all directions, but not a lot up or down. Getting the heads off is mostly easy, but some of the extra ones are tough to get on, though do-able without heat. At least the lack of a ball-hinged joint means this one should be plenty durable. Some of the heads (like the tongue one) feature articulated ears on ball hinges while others are pretty stationary. They’re all softer plastic which is nice for when you’re trying to get one seated. The shoulders are ball-hinged, and have good range going out to the side. Rotation is fine. The elbows are hinged pegs as well and they rotate, but the hinge barely moves. The left arm on mine is really stubborn too. The hands rotate and feature a horizontal hinge. In the torso, is a diaphragm joint, but it’s poorly implemented. It feels like it’s binding when rotating and I find I have to push down hard to get it to swivel properly. There’s virtually no forward and back. The hips go out to the side a touch and swivel forward and back, but are otherwise just there for him to stand. You won’t be posing these legs, and the ankles just swivel.
I will say, that is a damn fine looking snow cone.
Stitch is basically capable of just standing there and modeling his props. He can’t convincingly stand on all fours which is disappointing. He can sit like a human, but not like a dog which he does a lot in the movie. You’re likely to just pick a look for him and hope he stands on your shelf. He can be a challenge to do so because there just isn’t much to work with. I have him doing a Batman pose on my shelf right now, but I’m just waiting for a shelf dive. Thankfully, if one takes place he should land harmlessly on my couch.
“You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”
Stitch basically turned out as expected. The solicitation images do a solid job of representing what’s in the box and there weren’t any dramatic changes to the figure like we saw with Wave One. It just comes back to the question of is this figure worth the $55 asking price? Objectively speaking, probably not. This line has a tendency to hit clearance (recently, some GI Joe Ultimates! were priced as low as 12 bucks) and until that changes it’s basically impossible to recommend paying full price. The only reason to do so is if you want it now, or you want to show your support for the line with your wallet so that it keeps going. And that’s a question that’s impossible to answer right now. The most recent Disney Ultimates! wave (based on The Rescuers) was cancelled due to lack of orders. Wave Four is The Nightmare Before Christmas and is tentatively scheduled to arrive in the spring. Presently, there is no other open preorder for the line and information about its future has been cloudy at best. It’s very possible it’s headed for the chopping block, and that only matters in the context of this review for people hoping to pair Stitch with more characters from the film. If you don’t want your Lilo & Stitch Ultimates! collection to be one and done with Stitch then this probably isn’t for you. If you don’t care about getting anyone else from the film, then your decision should be a lot easier. I’m largely happy with how this figure looks and the display options available and I would even go so far as to say it’s my favorite in the line so far. Do with that what you will.
Here’s some more Disney Ultimates! reviews you can check out:
When Super7 announced it was taking Disney into its world of Ultimates! line of action figures, they really seemed to confuse the Disney fans unfamiliar with their business model when the first wave consisted of Sorcerer Mickey, Pinocchio, and Prince John from Robin Hood. Where was Robin Hood?! Well, he was coming, just in Wave…
Our third and final figure of the inaugural wave of Disney Ultimates! from Super7 is the most surprising of the bunch: Prince John, the phony King of England! Super7 often surprises with its deep cuts, and Prince John certainly fits the bill. While it’s hard to argue much from Disney could be considered a true…
The first figure from this line of Super7 action figures based on characters from Disney’s treasure trove of animated characters was Pinocchio. In that review, I mentioned how Disney wanted to outdo itself with Pinocchio and sunk a lot of money into that film’s production. Well, the only other film from that era that might…
Friend of the gargoyles, Elisa Maza, has joined the shelf.
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a review on an action figure from NECA’s line of figures based on the Disney Afternoon animated series Gargoyles. That’s not due to me not getting any figures, it’s more just me not having a ton to say. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that I wasn’t exactly excited to share my opinion. That’s primarily due to these figures being very fine looking figures, but they’re not the most fun to handle. The problems the first figure in the line had, Goliath, are still present in the most recent. I started to feel like a broken record as I kept saying “This figure looks great, but these wings suck and the posing is really limited as a result.” That’s been true of them all. Today’s figure though is different because we’re not looking at a gargoyle, but a human. And that human is none other than Elisa Maza.
New York’s only unarmed cop.
Detective Maza is the first human ally the Manhattan Clan makes in the series following the time-skip to present day New York. I suppose the crew thought their first ally was Xanatos, but he was never their friend. Elisa, being a detective and all, investigates a disturbance atop the skyscraper where the clan dwells and quickly runs into Goliath. It doesn’t take particularly long for the gargoyles to view her as an ally and once Xanatos’ deceitful ways are out in the open, she basically becomes their only friend. And along the way, she’ll become a romantic interest for Goliath because this property wasn’t afraid to go there. Love is love.
Maybe this should be the Cagney review with accessories.
As an action figure, Elisa is understandably less impressive than a monstrous gargoyle. She’s a plain clothes detective in denim pants and a red jacket. She still gets the same window box treatment from NECA with original artwork by Djordje Djokovic while the sculpt (and what NECA terms as fabrication) were handled by Thomas Rozejowski and Kyle Windrix. Elisa stands at roughly 6.5″ and is pretty well proportioned for the character. She has pretty long legs, and her coat is done with an overlay on the torso with the sleeves included as part of the sculpt of the arms. In other words, if you wanted to remove the coat you would need to find some new arms for her or else it will look silly. The coat does make her look a little frumpy, if you will, as basically all coats do in real life. She still has curves so I think there is a nice balance being struck here between the animated look and the realistic approach NECA has taken with the line when it comes to her body.
This old Toy Biz handgun doesn’t look too bad in her hand.
Where things get a bit murky is with the head. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with it, it’s just that the faces look very animation-inspired when the gargoyles have largely shunned that look. Her eyes are oversized like a cartoon would and her skin-tone is flat. Again, it’s not a bad sculpt and paint job by any means, but it isn’t consistent for the line. The gargoyles have all been sculpted and designed by Djokovic where as this figure was handled by a different team and it shows. I personally would have liked for this line to follow the animation, so I can’t say I dislike what’s done here, but I do have to concede that Elisa strikes a different vibe on the shelf when placed with the other figures. Even her hair more follows the show has it’s black with blue highlights as cartoons often do with black hair. This is likely something that is going to bother some more than others. Or maybe it will bother everyone since those who want that uniform look will obviously be irritated, while those who wanted that animated look might just be frustrated that the gargoyles aren’t done that way. I suppose this approach may end up pleasing few.
I also grabbed a third party gun for her. It’s not perfect, but will probably do fine.
NECA did provide Elisa with some accessories, though with one pretty obvious omission. Elisa has two styles of hair at her disposal: a neutral one and a wind swept version. Both fit on her head just fine and look nice. I do find myself leaning towards the wind swept portrait more often than not as it adds a touch of style. Elisa also has three different heads with three very similar expressions: neutral, smile, and a smile with a raised eyebrow. They all look fine, but are also way too similar. I would have loved some variety as even the neutral face almost has a hint of a smile to it. Maybe an angry expression? Or a startled one to reenact Goliath saving her instead of Demona?
Goliath’s inability to really look down comes into play here unfortunately.
Elisa also has an assortment of hands and accessories for her to handle with said hands. We get fists, trigger finger hands, a left hand with a pinching gesture, and a gripping right hand. The pinching hand is for her to display her included badge should someone question her credentials. It’s a small piece of plastic and the badge is rather neatly painted, but good luck not losing this thing. The gripping hand is for use with her flashlight which looks fine, but is just a flashlight. Her cat, Cagney, is also included, but not included is a hand for petting said cat. The cat looks fine though and has an articulated head. Just like the figure itself, the cat looks more cartoony than realistic. Also not included is something for those trigger finger hands. Yes, NECA did not include her sidearm. Why? Because they wanted to make us mad. No, obviously that’s not the reason and it was not an oversight because how could something like that be missed? NECA hasn’t publicly commented on it, but you can basically assume that Disney said “No” to Elisa coming with a gun. “But Demona, Thailog, and Xanatos all have guns?” you say, but I would counter their guns aren’t of the realistic variety. Elisa carries a standard 9mm that looks like an actual handgun and not some weird laser weapon. NECA gave us the hands, but we have to find our own gun. Even though this line is technically 1:10 scale, I find 1:12 weapons work pretty well. My old Toy Biz Deadpool handgun looked pretty good in her hands, and I also grabbed a generic one from Casting Cave. I haven’t painted it, though I really should, but it gets the job done for me.
Now Brooklyn can take up less space on your shelf.
Elisa does come with one other accessory and it’s one for a different figure. Like Bronx before her, Elisa comes with a set of caped wings for a gargoyle: Brooklyn. The wings work just like Goliath’s and fit over the figure’s neck and can be secured via pegs in the back. The plastic is soft, but not so soft that it won’t restrict the movement of the figure’s arms once on. It looks okay, but this look is still not the one desired by most which would be those relaxed, A-shape, wings for walking around. And I could be wrong, but I feel like Brooklyn went with the caped look less often than Goliath. I picture him in my head as often more crouched than the others and his wings more relaxed. At any rate, if your shelf is full because of those spread wings then this accessory is welcomed just to be able to squeeze more out of said shelf.
This doesn’t look like a fair fight.
Since Elisa doesn’t have wings like the others, I expect her to be a little easier to handle. She is, for the most part, though this is still a NECA figure and articulation is a lower priority than it would be with other companies. The head is on a double-ball peg, but the hair is going to restrict her a bit. You can rotate, tilt, and she looks down pretty well while looking up is tougher because of her hair. The shoulders are ball-hinged and she can rotate just fine and the arms raise out to just about horizontal. There is a biceps swivel and the double-jointed elbows bend well past 90 degrees. The wrists swivel and all of the hands feature a horizontal hinge which is lame as the trigger hands, at least, should have vertical hinges. There might be a diaphragm joint on the figure, but the coat makes it functionally useless. The waist twist is just a waist twist, though it feels like a ball peg so you get a tiny bit of nuance to it. The ball and socket hips go out to the sides nearly to a full split. Be careful with the diaper piece over the crotch as I have seen instances of the paint cracking which is unfortunate. The legs can kick forward almost to horizontal, again you probably don’t want to force it since it will stress that crotch piece, while the thigh twist works just fine. The double-jointed knees bend past 90 degrees and the ankles hinge and rock side-to-side and work fine. Her feet are a bit small relative to her body, so she’s harder to stand than you may expect. This one was often falling over on me overnight when I had it on my desk, but once I found a solid stance she’s been fine.
I’m starting to wish she came with a new head for Goliath that was a bit warmer of an expression.
One last thing to talk about with this figure is how she looks with the others. I already mentioned the style clash, but more important to me is that her scale is off. Or perhaps more accurately, her sizing really makes it apparent that Goliath is just too small. She looks fine with Bronx, Hudson, and Brooklyn while Goliath and Broadway clearly seem undersized to me. I’m thinking the idea here was to fudge the scale a bit. Goliath should be the largest, but he doesn’t need to be that much bigger than Hudson as he was in the show. And I guess that kind of works, but it starts to look bad when Elisa is introduced. Goliath being already out for quite some time and the pillar of the line, Elisa probably should just be smaller. Even though she’s probably perfectly in the realm of 1:10 scale being 6.5″ herself. On my shelf as I type this, she’s at Goliath’s shoulders which is just too tall. In the show she’s more at his chest. Part of the issue is the unique anatomy of gargoyle legs and I will admit that Goliath’s knees are bent more than I’d like, but it’s hard to have him standing otherwise. Also more of an issue with Goliath than Elisa is that he can’t look up so it’s really hard to do flying poses with Goliath carrying Elisa, nor can he look down at her. I’m starting to wish we could just get a Goliath redo at this point.
Despite the fact that she’s a human, Elisa looks like she belongs. I have Goliath about as tall as I’m comfortable with him (and I’m still expecting a shelf dive at some point) standing to mitigate any scaling issues.
Is Elisa Maza a worthy addition to your Gargoyles collection from NECA? At the end of the day, I think so since she’s a pretty integral character in the show and the comics that followed. The execution isn’t perfect, but some of the issues are definitely not the fault of the figure when it comes to scaling and accessories. It is a shame we couldn’t get her gun in the box and I doubt that could be fixed with a Gargoyles accessory set. It would have to be a generic weapons pack like what McFarlane does to get around DC not allowing guns with its figures. It sucks, but I’m obviously not mad at NECA and I’m not really even irritated with Disney as I get why these companies make these choices. It’s not the end of the world and anyone who collects action figures can probably source a gun from another figure without much problem. And if you can’t, there are plenty of customizers out there who can. On its own merits, this figure is just fine. It’s not extraordinary in any way, but anyone familiar with Gargoyles will know who that is on your shelf which is probably good enough for most.
If you’re interested in other figures from this line then check these out:
It was nearly 6 months ago that NECA unveiled one of its newest licenses for 2021: Gargoyles! I was incredibly pumped at the time to see that NECA had acquired Gargoyles because the license had so much potential. The show was basically a cult hit in the 90s often characterized as Disney’s answer to Batman:…
For the first time in a long time, we did not have a Turtle Tuesday post this week. We do, however, have a Warriors by Night Wednesday for you! It feels like NECA’s Gargoyles line is the most stop-and-start action figure line I’m into of late. The line has seen large gaps between releases and…
Well, here’s something different. Bronx, the good gargoyle dog, is NECA’s fourth entry in its relatively young line of action figures based on the beloved Disney Afternoon series Gargoyles. And not only is Bronx here all on his own, he’s also got something for his buddy Goliath that collectors of this line have been begging…
We have reached another Christmas Day! It’s a great time to celebrate and enjoy the moment for tomorrow we mourn the passing of the season. It’s the great come-down every year. For this holiday, I am once again returning to my list of the best of the best when it comes to Christmas specials. This entry will complete that list as I made it a personal mission to revisit the ones I felt had been short-changed by me in the past. There are still some on the initial list of 25 that I bumped off when I revisited the list a few years ago. Maybe I’ll circle back to them – I don’t know! That’s a discussion for next year. For now, lets talk Disney’s Prep & Landing.
Prep & Landing is not number one on my top 25 best of Christmas list, but it probably would be if we were only talking about specials created in the last 23 years. The only one such special I ranked ahead of it was the episode “Last Christmas!” from another Disney property, DuckTales. It was a mere two spots ahead of this one, definitely in the tenuous zone, and I have a feeling if I were to make such a list I’d be inclined to make this particular special number one over a very excellent episode of DuckTales. Why? Because this one is very much a traditional Christmas special in that it’s essentially stand-alone (sequels have followed, but they don’t enhance this one) and adds to the lore of Christmas by focusing on the elves who help get things done to make Christmas, Christmas. We’ve seen plenty of elves hard at work in the toy shop, but never have we seen them entering a home on Christmas Eve to make sure everything is in place for Santa. With his list of houses to visit as big as it is, there can be no wasted time on Christmas Eve. He needs to get in and get out and one misplaced toy or aggressive dog could blow the whole thing up. My approach each year is to save something fairly traditional for the final entry. And this year, I also decided to go in chronological order when it came to my re-rankings on the 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, and today. We started in 1977 with The Flintstones, and today we end in 2009.
Disney seemed pretty confident it had a couple of stars on its hands in Lanny and Wayne.
Enter Wayne (Dave Foley) and the other elves of Prep & Landing. It’s their job to get in and make sure that anything that could go wrong won’t. Kids staying up trying to catch the man in action? They put them to sleep. Tree has too many low-hanging branches to fit a gift? They trim ’em. Nuts in the cookies? You’re outta here! It’s a big operation that relies on a vast network of elves and even a secret reindeer to get it done and it mostly comes from the mind of Chris Williams, Kevin Deters, and Stevie Wermers-Skelton. Williams is credited with the idea for the special which he pitched as a short. John Lasseter, then in charge of animation at Disney, decided it would work best as a TV special. Unfortunately, Williams wasn’t available to direct because he was assigned Bolt so it was handed off to Deters and Wermers-Skelton to direct. They added their own touches, and the special premiered on December 8, 2009.
When Prep & Landing first arrived on television I paid it no mind. It was 2009 so I was mostly just working and working and working and trying to save money for my own home after renting for a few years. I don’t even recall when I first watched this special, but by the time that I did the sequel was out and it formed a tidy one hour block on ABC each year. For some reason I associated it with Phineas and Ferb, a show I hear is perfectly fine, but not something I need in my life. I guess it was just the similar title that made me think that, but it was actually a recommendation from my mother to watch the two that finally got me to bite. It was love at first viewing. I love Dave Foley going back to his days on Kids in the Hall and by 2009 Disney was good enough at producing CG material that looked on par with what Pixar had been doing for even longer. And I love Christmas! By the time I watched it I think I was stockpiling Christmas specials on DVD because I can’t get enough of them at this time of year and Prep & Landing has been a worthy inclusion on my annual viewing list ever since.
This one has a very traditional vibe to it, though it’s hard to place the era of the setting.
Prep & Landing begins in traditional fashion. We get some lovely shots of a quiet town asleep at night. There’s snow everywhere and Christmas decorations dot the landscape. Nat King Cole’s rendition of “The Christmas Song” is the sound of the season bringing us in. It really is a picture perfect way to begin a Christmas special and a great way to put a capper on the Christmas season. If just one person decides to end their Christmas Day with this special as a result of this entry then I will consider it mission accomplished.
It’s like Mission Impossible, but with elves.
An interior shot of a Christmas tree pans to a lit fireplace. As Cole starts to tell us about folks dressed up like slurs, the music is cut out in favor of an aerosol can sound, a clever way to avoid a potentially offensive word while also crafting an effective scene transition. Someone has put out the fire from above and two little heads with pointed hats come into view. They’re hanging upside down and sporting what looks like night vision goggles since they’re illuminated green. They scan the room and we’re briefly shown a view from their perspective of an inverted Christmas tree. The music has switched to an electronic spy theme, but with a touch of Christmas chimes added to it. The score was composed by Michael Giacchino and it is fantastic throughout, in case I forget to highlight it later (I often do).
If you ever thought your tree looked a little smaller on Christmas morning now you know why.
The elves emerge from the fireplace and stealthily move about the house. The skinnier of the two, Peterson, creeps upstairs to a bedroom where a little girl is asleep. He scans her with a handheld device that’s shaped like a gingerbread man, but functions like an iPhone. It relays to him that there are 0 creatures stirring. They move to the tree where the same device is used to project a laser image of a Christmas present that is 18″ high. They don’t quite have enough space under the tree for a box of that size, so the other elf, Wayne (Foley), descends from a grappling hook and shaves some of the branches back and silently directs Peterson to vacuum up the debris. Foley’s voice, as Wayne, then comes on to narrate the rest of the scene first starting with a question for the audience asking if it has ever wondered how the whole operation gets done? This is our introduction to the operation that is Prep & Landing. As he explains, we see some of the duties carried out including prepping the stockings by blowing air into them to widen them for efficient stuffing, the temperature of the milk is tested, and the cookies confirmed to be nut-free (I bet you didn’t know the big guy had a nut allergy). A dog threatens to mess the whole thing up (his model is the same as Bolt, but re-colored), but Wayne gets a bomb shaped like a Christmas ornament to Peterson which explodes in the dog’s face and puts the canine to sleep. They leave a candy-cane striped dog bone behind as a “Sorry I had to bomb you,” offering.
This one is all about Wayne and his desire to move up in the pecking order at work, but maybe doing so isn’t what he really needs.
The operation moves to the roof where the elves lay down a landing strip of sorts. They direct the sleigh which deploys a hook that grabs the landing strip to pull it to a complete stop, just like how a jet lands on an aircraft carrier. With the job done, Wayne enjoys a snack on the edge of the roof. If they go onto other homes it’s not addressed or implied which means this is a huge operation. Also, not a bad gig to have to prep one house once a year. The voice over tells us that Wayne has been doing this a long time, and it’s illustrated by a sequence of shots of Wayne getting buried in snow each time the sleigh lands on the roof. The last one has the snow resembling hair and a beard as a brief fake-out that he’s looking much older as well, but he just brushes it off. Wayne is clearly ready for a change, and that’s what this special is all about.
Hints of a power trip to come from Wayne, maybe he actually isn’t ready for a promotion despite being on this beat for over 200 years?
It’s Christmas Eve at the North Pole and a very fancy snow mobile has just pulled into a reserved parking spot. It’s a spot intended for the Director of the Naughty List and the attendant elf is not happy with whoever just pulled in. It’s Wayne, sporting a dress shirt and Christmas tree shaped tie and sunglasses, who is apparently not the appointed director. The attendant, Waterkotte (Peter Jacobson), is insistant that Wayne move because he wasn’t informed of his new position, but Wayne assures him that he’s heading inside to speak with a Magee to make it official. Waterkotte tells him to make sure he gets a sticker on his vehicle pronto, and as he does he taps it with his pencil. Wayne spins on his heels to tell him to be mindful not to scratch his car or he’ll have to put Waterkotte on the Naughty List. He lets out a phony sounding laugh and adds a “Just kidding,” but then follows it up with, “but I could,” to reestablish that there is a real threat at play.
Wayne’s smugness throughout this scene threatens to make him too unlikable. He doesn’t know the names of his co-workers and seems utterly disinterested in his potential subordinates.
Wayne heads into the factory with some pep in his step. He’s singing to himself his own version of “Jingle Bells” that’s basically a celebration of his promotion. He grabs the hands of a blonde elf and does a little twirl with the words of his song a reminder to her not to forget their date under the mistletoe. He grabs onto a golf cart to hitch a ride as it whisks him off to Magee’s office like he’s the star in his own musical. Voices call out to him that they’re going to miss him and when he does come to a stop he’s greeted by a pair of Coal Elves. As Director of the Naughty List, Wayne is apparently their boss now. The two elves are dressed line miners and covered in soot. It doesn’t require explanation and it’s actually rather nice that the special lets us fill in the information that these guys are dispatched to the homes of naughty kids where coal is left behind. One of the elves, Gristletoe Joe (Lino DiSalvo), better known as Nancy, has a gift for his new boss – a sooty, brick of fruit cake made by his wife. Wayne accepts it with his thanks and promises good things are coming with him in charge. It would seem Wayne has ether told everyone about this promotion leading up to it, or everyone just expects him to finally get it.
Magee is a great character who we could stand to see some more of.
Of course, that means he’s not. Wayne arrives at Magee’s office and drops the fruit cake on her desk indicating he probably has no intention of actually eating the thing. Magee (Sarah Chalke) is like the CEO of this whole operation (her official title is North Pole Christmas Eve Command Center Coordinator). She’s in the middle of two phone conversations, one via handheld device and the other headset, when Wayne walks in as a small attendant (Tiny) holds a clipboard up to her to get her approval on something. We only ever see the tip of Tiny’s hat because he’s, well, tiny. Magee first asks Wayne if he lost a bet in response to the tie he’s wearing, but Wayne isn’t phased and explains it’s his celebration tie. This is followed with the bad news. Not only is Wayne not getting the promotion, his partner Peterson is. Wayne can’t believe it since he’s been on the job longer and is the one who trained his understudy only for him to get promoted out from under him. This information is all shared by Wayne in a sarcastic manner, but the sarcasm is lost on Magee who just hears the part about being happy for Peterson. She takes a sip of whatever Tiny brought her (I think it’s eggnog) and it’s apparently bad as she dumps it into the pot of her little Charlie Brown tree behind her which causes the needles to fall off of it. It’s Christmas Eve though and there’s no time to be sad as Wayne has a new partner to train – Lanny (Derek Richardson).
Easy there, Lanny, you can’t just go and grab your co-workers like that without consent, buster.
Lanny introduces himself by first struggling with the door to Magee’s office. Seems he thinks it’s a “Pull” door and not a push one and basically opens it by accident. He salutes Wayne and introduces himself, his call sign is Tree Skirt (Wayne’s is Little Drummer Boy), and Wayne seems unimpressed. Lanny doesn’t pick up on the tension at all as he shakes Wayne’s hand with tremendous enthusiasm telling him he had a poster of him on his wall as a kid. He gives him a hug too, and while I do enjoy the performance of Derek Richardson as Lanny, his high voice does make me wish they could have hired fellow Kids in the Hall alum Kevin McDonald for the gig as he would have been perfect.
Thrasher has an effective way of getting his point across.
Magee tells them they need to get a move-on as Thrasher is the last transport waiting. This excites Lanny even more as they head for two big, steel, doors that soon open into a hangar. Thrasher (Hayes MacArthur) is a massive reindeer with gray fur and dark sunglasses. He’s got attitude to spare. Lanny approaches him from the front and remarks that he thought Thrasher was just a myth. He’s then told by the reindeer that he is a myth and that if he tells anyone about him then Lanny will be the one that doesn’t exist. He emphasizes this by turning the candy cane he was sucking on vertical in between his teeth and crushes it.
Apparently, she only liked you when she thought you were getting promoted, Wayne.
With that point across, Lanny heads around back to the pod that Thrasher will be pulling. Wayne is already inside looking thoroughly miserable along with some other elves, but Lanny is oblivious as he ponders what Thrasher’s stop speed is and remarks, “This is so tinsel!” Wayne, who looks barely put together with his coat open and gut hanging out, asks Lanny a rhetorical question in response (“Does the phrase silent night mean anything to you?”) and then smiles at the blonde seated next to him. I’m not sure if this is the same blonde elf from earlier or not, but she is all business now as she turns on her goggles and turns away from Wayne.
I don’t think Wayne’s heart is in it this year.
Thrasher takes the elves to the drop zone, 18,000 feet over Sector 7. Lanny and Wayne hop out of the pod and deploy parachutes from the tips of their pointy hats. They descend to the roof of their assigned home as skis deploy from their shoes. Lanny remarks that the neighbor’s house looks like a winter wonderland because of all of the decorations on their lawn. It seems an innocuous comment at the time, but it’s going to play a role later. We cut to the fireplace where the glowing logs indicate that the fire has been out for some time, but are still hot. That doesn’t stop Lanny from spraying them repeatedly as he’s clearly getting no feedback from his partner. He soon emerges from the fireplace and quickly takes cover behind a potted plant of poinsettia. Wayne descends with far less enthusiasm, feet first, just dangling from his candy cane grappling hook.
There’s some great facial animation on Wayne throughout this special.
Wayne then gets the idea to set Lanny free. He proposes he go solo, which Lanny doesn’t think he’s ready for, but Wayne remarks that he’s highly trained and ready for the challenge so Lanny accepts promising to check-in at regular intervals. He heads upstairs to check for stirring creatures while Wayne puts himself on cookie duty. This just means he’s picked up a frosted, Santa-shaped, cookie for himself and set his sights on the kitchen. Lanny confirms the lone child, Timmy, is asleep then gets to prepping the stockings. Wayne, on the other hand, is raiding the fridge. He’s made himself a cup of hot chocolate and is using his tools to grind up more chocolate for it. As he does so, he speaks to the Santa cookie in a taunting fashion pointing out his naughty behavior and encourages the cookie to tell Peterson to put him on his list.
That outlet sure looks like a fire hazard. A reference to A Christmas Story, perhaps?
Lanny, left to himself, has to lean his gingerbread gadget against a toy train to measure the space needed for Timmy’s gift under the tree. It’s a big one, a bicycle, so some trimming is needed. Wayne has settled into a recliner with his coco, cookie, and can of whipped cream which he blasts into his mouth. He uses his grappling device to recline the chair and demonstrates that the gingerbread thing is also a universal remote. He turns the TV on and we’re immediately blasted with Clarence Nash belting out “Merry Christmas!” as Donald Duck. It’s Mickey’s Christmas Carol, 2021’s final entrant in The Christmas Spot, and Wayne asks the Santa cookie if it wants to watch a Christmas Special? Apparently it does, because Wayne just says “Too bad!” and changes the channel. It sounds like a non-copywrite infringing A Charlie Brown Christmas (Hey, Futurama just did something similar a few days ago) and he keeps changing the channel until he gets to something that sounds less seasonal. As for Lanny, unfortunately for him he’s used a side table as a boost to get high enough to make his tree cuts, but when he jumped the gingerbread device tilted causing him to cut off way more tree than is necessary. He starts nervously vacuuming up the excess as he tries to get Wayne on the radio for some help and advice.
This image pains me because I have definitely been there.
Wayne just tells Lanny to go with his gut as he unfastens his own belt and lets himself go. Lanny does basically the only thing he can do and spins the tree around so the front at least looks good. Wayne then decides it’s time to eat the cookie. He holds it up before him and says “Merry Christmas!” before biting into it. Since it’s one of those heavily frosted cookies, it’s hard as a rock. Seriously, those cookies are the worst. Wayne struggles to bite through it, but eventually manages to snap off the pom pom at least. Unfortunately, the cookie had all of his attention and he didn’t notice that his belt device detected a creature stirring. Little Timmy (Mason Cotton) then appears over the back of the chair, much to Wayne’s surprise. He’s also armed with a camera and has Wayne dead to rights.
This dangling elf’s job is to rev-up the reindeer.
At the command center in the North Pole, Magee is getting ready to launch the sleigh. The music is very dramatic and would feel right at home in a Marvel film. The sleigh is summoned and Magee gives the order to rev up the engine. A lone elf descends from the ceiling and psyches the lead reindeer up which is a pretty good bit. Magee then calls for the partridge to enter. That’s apparently Santa’s (William Morgan Sheppard) call sign as the big guy emerges to take his position in the sleigh. Magee then signals to each unit in the command center and they all return with “Dash away,” to indicate their unit is ready for launch. Magee gives the final command, “Dash away all,” and pushes the button to open the hangar. The reindeer start running in place as a countdown appears and they float above the track with sparkles about their feet. When the countdown reaches zero, it’s Santa’s turn to give a “Ho, ho, go!” and pushes the button to launch and Christmas is on! After we see Santa circle the tower to much celebration (no moon shot, sadly) Magee informs the crew that this is what all the planning was leading to. She takes a sip of the nog then assumes a sort of meditative posture as she assures herself nothing will go wrong. She’s quickly informed of a major storm over Sector 7 and she can only utter an “Oh, frostbite,” in response.
I know we’ve only just been introduced to this whole Prep & Landing operation, but I’m pretty sure interacting with the kid is a big no-no.
Back at the Terwelp residence, Timmy has decided to try and converse with his discovery. He’s moved onto the armrest of the chair and Wayne is basically in shock. Timmy remarks he’s surprised at how small Wayne is and guesses that he must be a baby elf, which insults the veteran. As Timmy picks up Wayne to examine him, Lanny comes in to inform his partner there’s a creature stirring, which Wayne is very much aware of at this point. Lanny screams when he sees Timmy and quickly fumbles with a sparkle bomb before tossing it in the kid’s face. He falls to the ground asleep and Lanny picks up the camera to delete the pictures, but before doing so sees a pic of Wayne and one of the Big Guy’s cookies. Wayne is ready to bail, but Lanny reminds him of Section Code 808 which dictates all children will be snug in their beds and Wayne lets out a groan.
All of those fancy gadgets, but not one of them is useful in hauling a kid up some stairs.
We cut to the pair hauling Timmy up the stairs to his room with Lanny in front and Wayne picking up the rear. It’s now that Lanny decides to confront Wayne on his behavior and we find out that Wayne has been at this gig for 227 years. He’s tired of it, but Lanny, being a fresh-faced rookie, gestures to Timmy as the reason for what they do. He views this gig as the best in the world and can’t imagine letting a kid like that down. Timmy does his part by looking cute sucking his thumb in his sleep, but Wayne just tells Lanny he’ll lose his enthusiasm too some day. Lanny tells Wayne he thought he was the Prep & Landing guy, but now he’s sad to find out that he’s really just a lump of coal. Never meet your heroes, ladies and gentlemen. This seems to hurt Wayne, but he shakes it off and tells Lanny that “sometimes we don’t get what we want.”
That’s bad.
As they put Timmy in his bed, Wayne gets a call from Magee. She mentions how Wayne must have noticed how bad the storm is outside to which he responds with “Well, I am now.” She explodes on him as Wayne’s admission of not being aware of the weather means he’s not on the roof which means the house isn’t prepped. He tells her they had a coal in the stocking, but assures her everything is fine because they’re putting him to bed. Everything is not fine as Magee radios to Eight Maids a-Milking which is the call sign for the reindeer. Dasher (Nathan Greno), acknowledges that he hates that call sign before taking Magee’s call. He and Dancer (David DeLuise), who is basically freaking out, report back that they have no visibility and things look bad. Magee has no choice but to radio the Big Guy and inform him the house isn’t prepped and suggest they do the unthinkable – Figgy Pudding. Santa indicates it’s never come to this before, but Magee reminds him it’s one house, one kid, and he’s needed at many more. He reluctantly agrees and the command is given to skip Timmy’s house.
Now it’s time for Wayne to start feeling a bit of empathy.
The commands comes over Wayne and Lanny’s handheld device. Suddenly, Wayne feels horrible. And to make him feel worse, the comatose Timmy reaches out and mistakes him for a stuffed animal. Or not, as he calls him by name and remarks that this will be the best Christmas ever. Aren’t they all? Wayne finds his resolve and extricates himself from Timmy’s grasp and puts his hat back on. He races out of the room and jumps on the banister as he demands Magee patch him through to the Big Guy (they actually never call Santa by name). Magee at first refuses, but then Wayne threatens to tell everyone about her and Tiny. At the suggestion, Tiny’s hat shoots up straight and Magee smiles nervously and responds, “Patching you through.” It would seem an inappropriate work relationship exists between Magee and her subordinate.
See, I told you Lanny’s winter wonderland would bare fruit in the end.
Magee comes through and Santa picks up on the other end. Wayne introduces himself as if Santa wouldn’t know who he is, but Santa informs the elf that Magee has already rerouted him. Wayne insists that he has a plan to land him safely and that there is time. He implores with the big man to let him do his job because he can’t let Timmy down. Santa responds, “I was hoping you would say that. Let’s give it a shot, my boy!” He directs the reindeer back to the house as Wayne and Lanny make for the roof, but not before Wayne remarks to his understudy that this is the most tinsel job around. They hit the roof and throw down the landing strips, but the wind is blowing much too hard and before it can be secured the landing strip is blown away. Lanny remarks that you can’t see anything in this storm, but Wayne points out one thing that’s still visible: Lanny’s winter wonderland.
A little elf ingenuity on display.
The pair make for the neighbor’s house as fast as they can go skiing across the rooftops. Wayne zeroes in on a giant, inflatable, Santa Claus in a snow globe while instructing Lanny to gather some rope. Wayne fastens his gingerbread man to the globe and tapes his hat over it. When he turns around, Lanny is there with basically every Christmas light from the house and asks “Is this enough rope?” Wayne is both surprised and impressed and the two head back to Timmy’s house with their Santa globe and “rope.” Lanny is able to plug the lights in by the mailbox while Wayne inflates the Santa with his stocking stuffer gun. He deploys the parachute on his hat and the wind pulls the inflatable high into the sky with the lights trailing behind it.
This is how they “cut” the engines.
Wayne offers some praise to the young Lanny and the two make for the roof. Wayne gets up no problem via his grappling device, but Lanny hooks an ice damn which gives way causing him to fall. As he drops he cries out that he’s going to die and is pleasantly surprised when he does not. His grappling hook finds his head though and knocks him for a loop as some icicles threaten to do even greater arm. Wayne spies them and swings down like Spider-Man to snatch his apprentice and take him to the roof. He props Lanny by the chimney as Santa radios in about not having a visual on the landing strip. Wayne assures him it’s coming and uses Lanny’s gingerbread device to activate the lights on the floating Santa globe. The reindeer confirm visual, and Dasher gives the command to “cut the engine.” This just means the reindeer stop “running” and tuck their legs, a great visual gag. These two, Dasher and Dancer, are low key the MVPs of this special.
It’s definitely going to take more than two elves to stop a sleigh containing a legendarily large fellow and eight reindeer.
With Santa rapidly approaching, it’s up to Wayne to make the landing a safe one. As he prepares to guide the sleigh in he remembers the tail hook. He dives out of the way firing his grapple gun at the chimney, but it clangs off. All hope seems lost, but don’t forget about Lanny! Lanny awakens from his stupor to grab the other end of the rope! Except, how are two elves going to stop Santa’s sleigh? They can’t, not on their own, but some quick thinking from Wayne as the sleigh pulls the pair like water skiers gets him to deploy Lanny’s hat-parachute to stop the sleigh. Timmy’s house has become impossibly long by this point, but it all adds to the suspense of the moment which is increased with quick cuts to the command center as they watch this somewhat reckless descent. Once the sleigh comes to halt with Dasher and Dancer staring over the edge of the roof, Dancer acts like he’s going to be sick, but keeps it together while the command center rejoices and the two Prep & Landing elves drop from the sky with a thud.
A mistletoe hat, Lanny? My kids would call that very “suss.”
It’s now 9 AM Christmas morning and the whole North Pole is celebrating another holiday completed. It’s just one big party, but one elf has some making up to do. Wayne nervously approaches Santa’s secretary, Miss Holly (Kasha Kropinski) who is typing away at something (apparently the lyrics to “Jingle Bells”). Wayne says he doesn’t have an appointment, but before he can finish Miss Holly instructs him to head inside and that the Big Guy has been expecting him. Wayne is surprised to hear this apparently forgetting that Santa is basically all-knowing and all-seeing. Before he can head in though he’s interrupted by Lanny who wants Wayne to come join the party. He’s wearing a blue sweater with a stocking on it and a Christmas tree hat that looks like a glass-blown decoration. It also has a mistletoe dangling from it and Lanny is covered in lipstick marks. I thought he was cute, but now he seems like a creep. Then again, what do I know of elf culture? Maybe this party isn’t what I imagine?
Time for some groveling?
Wayne assures his partner that he’ll catch up later then nervously enters. He coughs to get Santa’s attention who then beckons him to come in. Wayne goes right into full apology mode for what happened and indicates he understands if Santa wants to fire him, but he implores his boss to make sure Lanny is taken care of as he’s a good elf and not responsible for what happened. Santa seems surprised, and I suppose now is as good a time as any to point out that we never see his face. I guess it adds to the mystique. He tells Wayne not to worry, he’s not going to bite his head off (Wayne winces at this since this is essentially confirmation that Santa knows everything that went down in that house), but acknowledges that every once in a while everyone slips onto the Naughty List. He then gives Wayne a gift – a snow globe. Inside it is a house, and I don’t know if it’s intentional, but damn does it look like Kevin’s house form Home Alone. It’s not actually his house, of course, but Timmy’s and when Wayne looks into it he sees a happy kid on Christmas with his new bike.
It turns out, Wayne is a Prep & Landing guy after all.
Wayne thanks Santa for the gift (and by name, at that, marking the first time an elf addressed him as Santa in this special) and the reminder that comes with it about their job. Santa then adds, “One more thing.” We don’t hear what that is as we cut to the exterior of the office and Wayne coming out. Lanny has been waiting for him and he’s a bit alarmed since Wayne has a shocked look on his face. When he asks him what’s wrong, Wayne explains that Santa just offered him a promotion: Director of the Nice List. Lanny looks disappointed, but still congratulates his former mentor. Wayne then adds he turned him down, “I’m more of a Prep & Landing guy.” He shakes the snow globe as the camera zooms in on the swirling contents and we see Timmy hugging his mom as he has the best Christmas ever. Just before the credits, we also get to see Lanny open his gift. It’s the fruit cake from the Coal Elf, but Lanny is excited to get it and he declares that this is the best Christmas ever!
The special does a good job of selling Wayne’s plight in a believable manner.
And it is a great Christmas and damn fine Christmas special! Prep & Landing has just the right amount of heart and Christmas wholesomeness. It’s mixed with a tale of self-destruction on the part of Wayne’s, but it does a solid job of providing some motivation for Wayne’s actions. It might be hard for kids to empathize, but for an adult it’s pretty easy. And it’s that sentiment that keeps Wayne from becoming unlikable, something the sequel struggles with. At least for Wayne, he has the sort of job that is designed to make kids happy and that’s something that’s easy to play up for an audience. And it’s pretty easy to get Wayne to come around as well. I suppose a very cynical person might not be moved by Timmy potentially missing out on a bike, but that sort of person probably isn’t watching many Christmas specials to begin with. I suppose another negative read would be that this is corporate America telling folks to know their role and be happy in their place, but I’m going to cut it some slack and and assume that isn’t the message here.
These two are a terrific pair. Is it too late to get a special starring them?
The story is dressed-up by the lore. I like seeing this side of the holiday, even if it makes no attempt to explain how it could be plausible. Santa needs help to make these deliveries, but if each team only preps one house them he needs billions of elves, which means billions of Thrasher types to make this a go. And there’s no attempt at explaining how he can still move fast enough, but that’s not unique to Prep & Landing. Most ignore that stuff because it is impossible, so I suppose it’s something the audience shouldn’t be too concerned with. Magee is a great character though, this tightly wound director type just trying to keep a huge operation running smooth. And Dasher and Dancer are terrific as a pair. I want to see more from them. They get some of the best lines in this one and I particularly like when Dancer asks how they’re going to pull this landing off and his response is “Laughing all the way.”
Great use of I.P. I also love this old panel television -what year is this supposed to be?
This is a special with lots of references in it as well. The most blatant being the Charlie Brown tree in Magee’s office and the shot of Mickey’s Christmas Carol on television. The latitude and longitude of Timmy’s house, and he himself seems like a reference to Tiny Tim, correspond with the same for The Walt Disney Company’s headquarters in Burbank (which has quite possibly never seen snow like that of Timmy’s house). Timmy’s nightlight is Goofy from the short How to Hook Up Your Home Theater which is the short the directors of this special worked on previously. There are other references and easter eggs in here that I won’t spoil, but this is one that’s fun to pause repeatedly during a viewing to try to get them all.
I didn’t point it out, but we did get a moon shot very early in this one as Wayne gives the overview on his gig. And it’s a pretty unique one at that.
Most importantly, this special just sticks the landing and I find myself rooting for Wayne and Lanny. And I also want more, which is great because there is more out there. And if you want to spend Christmas with the appointed Christmas Elves, the easiest way is via Disney+ which has this and more from the pair. There have been rumors that more was coming from this franchise, but those rumors are from 2011 so it seems like that’s unlikely. And that’s okay, since this special is more than enough as it is. It’s a great addition to the massive stockpile of Christmas specials out there and deserves to be counted among the greats.
If you have been reading all month long, then I thank you for doing so. And if this is the only entry of mine you’ll ever read – thanks! I do this for me as it’s a way to really make sure I enjoy the Christmas season, because you never know how many you’ll get to experience. Thanks again, and more importantly, merry Christmas!
Can’t wait until next year for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
Welcome to Christmas Day 2022! We made it another year and another long year is ahead of us until we make it back, but right now, it’s time to celebrate! And in keeping with the theme of this year’s countdown, we are once again looking at another much beloved Christmas special on this day. Before…
We made it! Another year in the books, and another Christmas has come. Indulge in it. Bask in it, for it only comes once a year, and not to get too dramatic, but you never know how many you’re going to get. And we’re ending this year’s edition of The Christmas Spot with another throwback…
It’s Christmas morning, and if you woke up to a tree packed full of presents you have only one person to thank for that – Sonic the Hedgehog! What? You didn’t know that Sonic took over for Santa back in 1996? Oh, well find yourself a comfy chair and a plate of chili dogs while…
No title card for this one, so here’s the title card for the show. Original air date December 12, 2016.
I realize we just did a Christmas post the other day set in a mall, but at least this one is actually set at Christmas! And we’re pivoting from Nicktoons to Disney toons (which surprisingly don’t have their own fun branding) with the short-lived cartoon Future-Worm! I’ll be honest, before doing this post I had never heard of this show. It ran for close to two years (one season plus five shorts) from August 2016 to May of 2018 and is the creation of Ryan Quincy. Quincy is probably best known for his work as an animation director on South Park, a Christmas Spot veteran itself, but has had a few opportunities to oversee his own work. Future-Worm! is an animated show about a boy named Danny (Andy Milonakis) who is something of a genius as he’s able to create a time machine out of an ordinary lunch box. That time machine gets sent into the future and returns with a worm, the titular Future-Worm (James Adomian), or Fyootch for short.
It’s a pretty wacky premise, but the 2010s are full of cartoons with pretty wacky premises, from what I’ve encountered. My initial impression upon just viewing the show was that it had a very Adult Swim appearance to it. And I suppose that makes sense since the animation was provided by Titmouse, which made a name for itself via many Adult Swim shows. Titmouse has since gone on to really broaden its portfolio and is one of the more respected names in animation today, but there’s no denying that they’re really good at that sort of minimalist, almost intentionally cheap look a lot of Adult Swim shows (and something like South Park) embody. There also appears to be some influence to the design of the show from Rick and Morty, which was fast becoming the latest breakout hit for Adult Swim when Future-Worm! was in development. Even the concept for the show sounds like it could have been a Rick and Morty episode.
Despite my unfamiliarity with the show, I’ll do my best to relay what’s happening in this holiday themed episode in which one of the protagonists becomes lost in the mall at Christmas time. It’s a solid premise, but it’s a bit of a surprise that the one getting lost is our main character’s father, Doug (Quincy), and not the child lead. What happens to a man who gets lost in the holiday scrum and trapped in the mall after hours? It’s time to find out!
You gotta be careful at the mall on “Holiday” Eve.
“Lost in the Mall” is the second segment of the episode we’re looking at. The first, “Future-Worm and the 54 days of Snordfest,” could also be described as a holiday episode. Rather than do both in one entry, I picked the more “Christmassy” episode of the two. If I need to fill a day down the road, I could always come back to it. This one begins with Doug declaring it’s “Holiday Eve,” and that this is a time for family, only he doesn’t get to finish his thought as he gets knocked over by patrons in the mall. It would seem the family is out at the mall for some last-minute Christmas shopping.
Apparently Mrs. Douglas (yes, the father’s name is Doug Douglas) is an inventor and toy maker.
Doug sees nothing but senseless violence all around, but the rest of the family is just going with it. Danny calls for his dad to help push through the crowd while Fyootch informs him he’s here for a last run on the holiday themed latte. When Doug suggests he himself makes a mean latte, Fyootch shoots him down. He’s a bit of a connoisseur. Megan (Melanie Lynskey), Danny’s mom and Doug’s wife, is actually there to see how well her product is selling: The action figure chair! She holds up a sign for the product and it would seem she made a chair that people are supposed to buy for their action figures. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I’d probably buy such a thing.
I’m guessing this vision has no chance of happening.
Doug expresses his desires to just have a nice holiday at home by the fire. We even get to see how he envisioned this unfolding and I’m assuming regular viewers of the show would find this idyllic scene to be implausible for the family. Doug seems down, and Danny is too because he’s afraid he’ll never get a copy of Lettuce Delivery 2, the apparent cool game of the season. Danny basically gets stuck in a loop thanks to his anxiety over missing out on the sequel to the greatest game of all time forcing Fyootch to slap him in the face with the end of his tail. Danny thanks his worm-buddy for snapping him out of it, then asks for his help. Fyootch uses his tongue to press a button on a device fastened to his tail that sort of looks like a smart watch, but with buttons. It apparently makes him grow in size as he goes from being a fairly normal-sized worm to one that’s more like the size of a dog.
Who is out here throwing cookies?!
Once embiggened, Fyootch calls out to the mob that someone is giving away free money. This, not surprisingly, causes a stampede as people rush to get some cash and we get to see what they had been crowding around before: the mall Santa shop. Mrs. Claus (Paget Brewster) has a pretty sour expression on her face when she sees her crowd disappear and I’m guessing that’s going to cause some problems. As Future-Worm laughs at the mob for running for free money (which he thinks is worthless), he gets pelted by gingerbread. More gingerbread comes raining down on the family and it’s being tossed by the elves from the Santa setup. Mrs. Claus is now on a megaphone as well announcing there’s free gingerbread which, despite Fyootch mocking the dessert as gross, turns the mob around. The family is forced to run for their lives, but Doug slips on a gingerbread man. He picks it up to regard it in a curious fashion, and then a little girl essentially sets the entire mob on him by claiming he has the last cookie. It sure seemed like those elves had a ton more, but these are mob rules and they don’t have to make sense.
Did he have a bad experience with gingerbread in the past? Or future?
We cut to Fyootch at the counter of a coffee bar. He cheerfully announces that he would like one, seasonal, latte, please. The barista (Charlyne Yi), somewhat aggressively, calls for a gingerbread latte which shocks Fyootch. He then looks around and sees people sucking down lattes and chomping on gingerbread men and he’s horrified. He falls off of the counter in shock and starts backing away towards the door wondering aloud how someone can drink bread. He bumps into a store display gingerbread man which causes him to cry out in fear as he makes a break for it. This worm really doesn’t like gingerbread.
The most efficient way to travel through a stampede.
At the store Toysasaurus Rex, Danny is back to freaking out because he can’t get through a crowd. His mother is beside him when an alarm goes off announcing that the mall is dangerously overcrowded and that all patrons must stampede to the nearest exit. This sets off the requested stampede which Doug finds himself in. A girl comes running at him with a sign reading “The End is Near” which causes him to stumble and crash into a store display coffin. Pretty weird for such a thing to still be hanging around at Christmas, but okay. Danny and his mom end up crowd-surfing atop the mob and it works out for them as we next see them at home looking exhausted. Megan is reclined in a chair when she pops up screaming “Doug!” I wonder how long they were home before they realized they left Doug behind?
Uh oh, Doug’s in trouble!
We go back to find Doug shoving open the coffin. It’s dark now and he’s in some, weird, goth, shop I guess. He questions if he died in the stampede and decides to call home just to make sure. Before he can complete his call though some shadowy figures emerge causing him to shriek, “Ghosts!” and drop his phone. We smash cut to the rest of the family literally smashing their way into the store. Megan seems uneasy about breaking and entering as she tries to assure herself the mall’s “Lost shopper insurance,” will cover the damage. Fyootch, who is still embiggened, wonders why Doug isn’t answering his phone, but Danny declares he implanted a tracking device in his father for just such an occasion (didn’t Peter Griffin claim to do this to Lois in a Family Guy Christmas special?) and his tracker shows that his father is in the security office for lost and found. Makes sense!
Doug may be in trouble, but how often do you get the chance to shop in an empty mall? Oh, right, that’s pretty much every mall these days.
Fyootch gets the line of the episode so far with, “Typical, Doug. Whole place to himself and he goes to hang out with mall cops.” Danny then brings up that the toy store is on the way to the lost and found and they could stop there. Megan is apparently in no hurry as she points out how her husband loves to rummage through lost and found sections. Fyootch also has no intention of going straight to Doug as he’s planning on fixing himself a proper latte – one with peppermint. I’m not a latte person myself, but in the war of peppermint vs gingerbread as a flavoring agent I’m going to have to side with the worm here.
Apparently, the goths are to blame. They all seem to be uncredited, but I’m guessing the main cast voice them.
We cut to Doug who is now tied to a chair in a dark room with wavy, red, lines on the floor that could be mistaken for blood at first glance which adds to the danger. We then see the face of his kidnapper – some goth dude, who asks Doug if he’s a spy because he has some kind of device in his neck. Doug is surprised to hear this, but then tells the guy it was just his kid who implanted the thing. He’s then shocked to find it gone, and then two other even creepier goths emerge from the shadows to inform him they pulled it out and stuck it in the lost and found. They’re not buying his story, but Doug explains he got left behind and expresses his desire for a nice, quiet, holiday at home and we get to see his idyllic image once again. He’s crying now, and a third person emerges from the shadows, this one dressed like a princess (Chelsea Peretti). She relates to Doug’s feelings of abandonment and unties him. She then adds that he can be of assistance to them with their “special mission,” which horrifies Doug for some reason.
So…do they guard all holidays? Or just this apparent Holiday?
At the toy store, the place is in ruins and all of the copies of Lettuce Delivery 2 have been picked clean. In fact, it would appear that everything in the store has sold out (or been stolen) except for a full rack of the action figure chair. Future-Worm comes slithering in with his latte to talk down to a dejected Megan declaring that no one needs chairs for their action figures. I beg to differ, worm. We then jump back to wherever Doug is being held as the goths are apparently ready to explain their plan to him. He’s told they just formed this group this morning because they like belonging and they like acronyms. He pulls down a sign that reads “G.O.T.H.S. – Guardians of the Holidays” to better illustrate his point. Doug, demonstrating that he’s a real square, reads it as “Go-ths” with a long “o” vowel, but no one corrects him. The goth dude just continues to explain their mission is to investigate “this,” and he holds up a flyer that reads “Join Us! Enjoy Us!” and it’s a man in a pile of gingerbread men. A gingerbread sun is also shining down upon him like some sort of religious experience. Honestly, it’s a flyer worth investigating. They feel that someone is trying to replace regular families with gingerbread ones and they want to fight for families because no one ever fought for them.
This must be so damaging for Doug. It would have been better for him to walk in on Megan and Future-Worm than see this!
The goth kid then concedes there’s a good chance they’re going to abandon their mission and just chill out and listen to music. These goths definitely are lacking in self-confidence as this isn’t a confession he’s proud to admit. They ask Doug if he’s willing to help, but Doug is clearly looking for a way out of this social setting. He theorizes that his family is likely worried about him, but the goths have a surprise. They show him the security feed which displays his family at the mall shopping. Doug can’t believe it, while the goths see this as a way to recruit him to their cause. They need a purist like him, and when Doug indicates he’s willing to help, they tell him he needs to first pass their test: by kicking his family out of the mall!
Well, looks like Doug entered his goth phase a little late in life.
Future-Worm, Danny, and Megan are strolling past the Santa area from the episode’s beginning. Fyootch pauses to regard a standee of a gingerbread man which he strikes down and taunts with the question “Are you bread? Or are you cookie, because you sure aren’t a man!” Danny tells his buddy to essentially knock it off as they need to find his dad, but it turns out his dad has found them. They all gasp when they turn to see Doug, now in full goth regalia. He definitely doesn’t look sure of himself while Megan asks if he pierced his nose. We then hear the voice of the princess girl announce that they sell clip-ons. She and the rest of the squad emerge from the shadows and the princess one adds a “Hi Megan. Thanks for saving my planet. P.S. I work at the mall now.” Apparently, they know each other as Megan refers to her as Ennuisha (see episode “The Forever Five”) and seems genuinely happy to see her again.
This is a fun little reunion. I guess?
Megan starts to go on a bit with her surprise reunion before essentially reminding herself that she’s both mad and confused at what’s going on. She demands an explanation from Doug who tells her that he’s joined their group. Fyootch has no interest in what’s going on and requests the keys to the car, but when Doug mentions the gingerbread conspiracy he’s suddenly all ears, assuming worms have ears. Megan doesn’t seem convinced and asks Doug if he got brainwashed by a secret society again? Doug has the rather childlike retort of “I didn’t get brainwashed! You did!” and goes on a rant about Christmas consumerism. Megan tries to defend herself by saying they rushed over to find him, but he throws the surveillance tape at them (figuratively) and they really have no response. Well, Future-Worm shoots back that he’d have gotten another latte if he knew this was going to take so long.
I think this may be the most frightening Mrs. Claus I’ve ever seen.
With that out in the open, Doug does as he was told to do and casts the family out of the mall. They hang their heads and slink off as Doug turns his back on them. The goth dude then tells him to snap out of it as they’re already gone and a voice chimes in to suggest they should have done the same! A lasso gets tossed from out of nowhere that binds the goths together. Then, they see their attacker: Mrs. Claus! And her elves! She offers up no initial explanation instead choosing to unleash a maniacal laugh revealing some sharp, scary-looking, teeth which Mrs. Claus isn’t typically known for. Then again, it might be hard to come by good dental up at the north pole, especially when you mock every elf that wants to become a dentist.
The elf deposited a nice load on Doug’s chest, there.
The rest of the family is shown walking through the parking lot with Danny asking his mom if they’re really going to have holiday morning without his dad? It’s at this point I’m realizing they’re avoiding the word Christmas – is that a Disney thing? I remember the Buzz Lightyear show did the same thing. Anyway, Megan refuses to do such a thing and vows to go back for Doug. Meanwhile, that very same Doug finds himself strapped to a conveyor belt while an elf piles up gingerbread batter on his chest which could be a subtle poop joke. Doug laments that his son is going to have a gingerbread man for a father and Mrs. Claus butts in to basically tell him, “Duh!” She wants to replace all families with gingerbread because families suck, or something, and this machine is going to achieve that. As Doug starts moving along, we see a hydraulic press is in his immediate future which I guess will merge him with the batter on his chest. Or it will just create some human-gingerbread mush.
I’m getting the sense there’s a lot about Megan I don’t know.
Lucky for Doug, he has one heroic wife. Megan cries out to him from the balcony and comes swinging in like Tarzan on some holiday garland. She gets in-between Doug and the press and literally holds it up. This woman is some kind of strong! Doug is understandably happy to be reunited with his wife as Danny comes rushing in to unplug the machine. He then decides to taunt Santa over his plans being foiled which is awfully sexist of him. Mrs. Claus is rather quick to point out that this whole plan is her idea and the Santa standing behind her is just three elves in a costume. Not just any elves, gingerbread elves and their skin basically melts into shapeless mounds of gingerbread which is pretty horrifying stuff. Mrs. Claus then tells the shocked family that it is she who made gingerbread the flavor of the season.
Well, that’s a bit unexpected.
She goes on and on about her efforts to advance gingerbread, but Danny casually interrupts to ask if she’s the Bread Baron? He then explains to the goth people that the Bread Baron is a nemesis of theirs and even refers them to the “Old Man Duck Head” video, which is a previous episode of the show. Mrs. Claus seems insulted he would think that she’s him and Danny is momentarily relieved, only for Mrs. Claus to declare that she’s really the Bread Baroness! She rips off her fleshy head to reveal a head that’s actually a gingerbread house which gets a laugh out of Fyootch. She then explains that her husband thought too small and didn’t think gingerbread was a real bread, which also explains why he left her for “a little French croissant.”
Aww, a little holiday magic.
She cackles that she doesn’t need her ex, or anyone, but is interrupted by Ennuisha who points out that she’s doing all of this just because her marriage deteriorated. She relates to the Baroness and apologizes for that happening to her. The Bread Baroness is caught off-guard by this showing of sympathy and tries to dismiss it, but seems genuinely touched. She soon finds her resolve though and vows to carry out her plan to replace families with gingerbread ones so that people can simply eat their families when they get sick of them. Doug then steps up to essentially say “Not today, Bread Baroness!” He explains that families are imperfect, but they still love each other and there’s no replacing one’s family. They all share a hug, and then Doug declares that “It’s time to break bread,” though not with much bravado.
I guess it was all a story.
A narrator then chimes in to tell us what happened next. Still images of the family beating down the gingerbread squad play before us as the episode basically decides to “Yadda yadda,” what should have been the best part. Some of the stills are amusing, like the family clotheslining the Baroness with a giant candy cane and the crew stomping some elves into mud. We’re then told that’s how the family saved the holidays as a book closes on it. It’s revealed that our narrator is an older version of Future-Worm who just finished reading a story to a really old, and sleeping, Danny. This is apparently some holiday tradition. He then wishes us a “Happy holidays,” to close it out.
That show really did feel like Rick and Morty for kids. Doug is such a Gerry character while Future-Worm himself embodies the selfishness of Rick with the genius of Rick going to Danny, who being a young boy, also embodies some Morty. It kind of works and I definitely didn’t hate what I just watched, but did I like it? I guess I’m not sure. I was definitely annoyed by the avoidance of the word Christmas. I’m not one of those “War on Christmas” types and I think when you’re out and about at this time of year and want to send some holiday wishes to a stranger “Happy Holidays” is the perfect way to do so. I just find it annoying when a television show is clearly celebrating Christmas, but goes out of its way to avoid saying the holiday’s name. It’s not a make or break thing, just a pet peeve.
The fight scene could have been something special, but instead we just got three still images.
This one positions itself as an offbeat Christmas holiday special and it’s out to make the viewer laugh. It’s just not particularly clever. I feel like anyone can come up with an outlandish premise like a time-traveling worm that speaks like Otto from The Simpsons. It’s just after that how do you make such a premise work? The plot with the goths just wasn’t particularly funny. It’s like they thought of the acronym first and then tried to make it fit, but the characters added nothing and it seemed to only exist for the sight gag of Doug in goth attire. I’m also not sure why the character of Ennuisha was brought back, but maybe this show just likes rewarding its viewers with callbacks for the sake of callbacks.
I will concede that the plot of gingerbread trying to replace humanity is pretty creative.
What did work for me was Future-Worm’s disdain for gingerbread. It feels a bit like a Seinfeld routine (“What is the deal with gingerbread? Is it a cookie or a bread?!”), but it works given the character’s preference for peppermint as his chosen holiday spice. I just wish the episode got more out of it. We get the scene at the coffee shop, then it’s reduced to just an occasional quip out of the character. I wanted to see him take charge against the enemies and truly vanquish the gingerbread squad. Instead, the episode wanted to put the focus on the family, which I get, but it’s also not exactly an original conclusion for a Christmas holiday episode. And then to just not even attempt to animate the action part was a cruel joke. Would the censors have not allowed for them to do it justice? If so, then okay, but otherwise that was a cheap cop-out.
All that being said, Future-Worm! isn’t a bad show from the little I’ve seen, it’s just flawed. And perhaps that’s why it wasn’t around for very long. I’ve never really encountered any praise for it online, nor have I encountered the opposite. It’s just a cable animated series for kids that came and went without much of an impact and television is loaded with many such programs in its history. The last remaining question is should you take the time to spend your Christmas holiday with Future-Worm!? I guess if you want to show your kids something a bit different it has some value. If you’re an adult and looking for something truly subversive, there’s better stuff out there.
Future-Worm! can currently be found streaming on Hulu for those in the US. For those outside of the US, check Disney+. It’s also available for purchase digitally.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
As we’ve maneuvered through the countdown for 2022 the theme of The Christmas Tape has stayed strong. And today, I am going down a rabbit hole because of that tape. If you read the first entry this year, you may recall I talked about a Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial that contained a contest for kids…
One of the franchises I have great admiration for is The Chipmunks, or Alvin and The Chipmunks. It’s been around since 1958 when Ross Bagdasarian Sr. came up with a novelty song called “The Witch Doctor.” Realizing he could make funny sounds by speeding up his voice, a tactic cartoon makers had been utilizing for…
After looking at what I considered to be a pretty good cartoon yesterday, I’m feeling like I need to take-in some trash today. It’s to the late 90s we go and the Bohbot/DiC Street Sharks spin-off Extreme Dinosaurs! Ah yes, everything was extreme around this time. Surge was packing the soft drinks aisle in stores,…
When two billion dollar organizations butt heads, it can be hard to know who to root for. Take Disney, somewhat of an “evil” overlord when it comes to content, which seemingly owns everything these days and likes to throw its weight around when it comes to copyright claims. And then there’s Fox, owned by the legitimately evil Rupert Murdoch, which bares responsibility for a lot of the political discourse and genuine cesspool that is right-wing media. Back in the late 80s though, perceptions were a little different. Disney had been scorned by years of bad box office returns on its animation only recently dusting itself off with the likes of The Little Mermaid. And Fox, that was the plucky, underdog, network trying to compete in an arena that was seemingly built only for three, but they were determined to make it one built for four! Few gave them a chance, but the Fox network carved out a niche for itself by targeting a younger demographic than the likes of CBS and NBC and they weren’t afraid to try new things or get a little blue.
We know today that Fox was pretty successful in creating a fourth major network for broadcast television. A lot of that success is attributed to The Simpsons and the teen dramas that followed like Beverly Hills 90210 and Fox Sports, which is still a titan in the sports world thanks to its contracts with the NFL and Major League Baseball. I would argue another important part of the rise of Fox was cornering the younger demographic via the Fox Kids Network. In some respects, it’s said the Fox Kids brand was born out of Disney pulling back DuckTales, a popular show for Fox affiliates to carry, in order to sell its new syndicated Disney Afternoon programming block. Rather than shell out a bunch of money to Disney for the right to air its shows, Fox went out and sought other programs. Some it would simply license, others it would fund, and the Fox Kids Network would eventually become the must see block of programming in the kid world every Saturday morning and week day afternoon. Why would I, an adolescent boy, want to spend my afternoons with the cutesy Disney characters when I could be watching Batman?! Fox definitely got my eyeballs and I basically only tuned to what Disney had to offer if Fox had nothing on which made it hard to keep up with shows like Darkwing Duck and Gargoyles, shows I admittedly liked, but not always enough to ignore what Fox was showing.
I guess you won’t forget what network you’re on.
One of Fox’s earliest cartoons was Fox’s Peter Pan & the Pirates. The show was originally going to be a CBS program, but once Disney got wind that another network was preparing a show based on Peter Pan they got litigious. Or at least, they threatened litigation since they had previously made the film Peter Pan and seemed to view the character as Disney property, despite never actually buying the work of author J.M. Barrie who purposely made sure to never sell the rights to a major corporation like Disney. Still, the mere threat of the House of Mouse lawyering up gave CBS pause ultimately deciding it wasn’t worth the effort to pursue. Enter Fox, who was still stinging by the removal of DuckTales from its networks and seemed to welcome Disney’s wrath. Oh they still tried to convince Fox it was a bad idea to pursue, but Fox essentially told them to pound sand. They would file suit, but eventually they withdrew it. Part of the suit was the accusation that Fox wasn’t allowing its affiliates to purchase the Disney Afternoon for air and was having the Fox Kids Network forced upon them. To try and save face, Disney would claim when withdrawing the suit that the Disney Afternoon had worked out fine for them and Fox had found similar success with its programming so both parties needn’t feel animosity towards the other. In reality, Peter Pan had fallen into the public domain and Disney didn’t have a leg to stand on. Just because many people associated the character with Disney and it’s 1953 film didn’t mean they owned it. And since the Fox cartoon contained characters that bore no resemblance to their counterparts in the Disney film, they were pretty safe.
Fox added it’s name to the title of the show either to exert its own dominance or to further make sure no one would think this show was a work of Disney’s. The Pan of this program (voiced by Jason Marsden) was decked out in earthy browns and sported a cape. Tinker Bell (Debi Derryberry) had butterfly wings and wasn’t a blond jerk like the Disney version and the Darling characters were different enough. Also sporting a much different look was the villainous Captain James Hook, voiced by the incomparable Tim Curry. Hook’s design was quite different from the slender, mustached, villain from the Disney film as he was now a barrel-chested, clean-shaven, powdered wig wearing behemoth of an antagonist for Pan. And just to keep things even more different, his hook was moved from his left hand to his right. As far as tellings of the same story go, the show couldn’t have been more different from Disney’s film and it received a 65 episode order and was a foundational piece for the Fox Kids Network.
It’s like a Charlie Brown tree, but for pirates.
I had little interaction with the show in my youth. Something about Peter Pan struck me as a bit lame and not something I had much interest in seeking out. It’s entirely possible the show ran up against a show I was already invested in, and while I was firmly in camp Fox Kids come the fall of 1992, I wasn’t quite there in 1990. I was definitely watching the Disney Afternoon and Peter Pan wasn’t going to pull me away at that point. I also have memories of the show airing weekday mornings when I didn’t watch television as I had to get ready for school, and since I wasn’t much of a morning person, I couldn’t even flirt with the idea of watching cartoons while eating breakfast. Most of my memories of this show are just ads for it. I likely also saw it as an imposter version of Peter Pan since Disney had convinced me and millions of other kids that their Pan was the real Pan. It was also around the same time that my parents had me watch a stage play re-telling of the story that aired on television and was just dreadful and something I hated every moment of. I had given Pan a shot outside of Disney once and felt burned, I wasn’t going to do it again. Well, not until the likes of Robin Williams and Steven Spielberg, anyway.
In the quest for more Christmas though, I was reminded that this show existed. During that lone run of 65 episodes was the episode “Hook’s Christmas.” Generally speaking, direct-to-syndication shows like this try to avoid holiday episodes since networks like to be able to just throw them on at anytime without consideration for something as annoying as a season. Fox apparently didn’t care though as many of their shows would delight in doing Halloween and Christmas episodes. I feel like I’ve looked at almost all of them at this point. A show that’s all about kids wanting to remain kids seems like a show that could do Christmas. Then again, I don’t know that Peter and his fellow lost boys are necessarily “Nice List” candidates, and there are no parents to play Santa in Neverland. I guess the staff on the show agreed since this episode centers on Captain Hook and is an adaptation of A Christmas Carol. I tend to avoid such fare like the plague, but my curiosity for this show outweighed my hatred for the trope. Did I miss out on a hidden gem? The possibility was there given the voice cast and the fact that TMS contributed animation to this show. It was not a cheap cartoon and I suppose that makes sense since Fox likely wanted to impress out of the gate. Plus, Disney was spending a lot of money on its animated programs and no one at Fox wanted to look inferior next to Disney, so let’s see what Fox’s Peter Pan & the Pirates has to offer.
Just a bunch of pirates having a festive sing-a-long.
The opening title for this one is a lyric-less piece set to clips from the show, the most boring of intros a cartoon can have, but the score isn’t bad. It sounds like a poor man’s John Williams. When the episode begins, we’re on the ship of one Captain Hook and the pirates are making merry. It’s Christmas Eve so there’s cause to be jolly. Unfortunately, they’re singing a rendition of the worst Christmas song ever written: “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Now, since I didn’t watch this show growing up, I have to try to figure out who’s who among the gang of pirates. It would seem Gentlemen Ignatious P. Starkey (David Shaughnessy) is the one leading the crew in song. He has repurposed the song to make the captain the generous one handing out gifts on Christmas. It would seem he wants a new ship that’s bilge free? All of the versions of this episode that exist online have some audio degradation and deciphering song lyrics is not easy. Eucrates Cookson (Jack Angel) is playing an accordian while Smee (Ed Gilbert) is decorating a rather pathetic looking tree. They’re all chiming in with gifts for the other days, but they only manage to get to day 4 before Starkey has trouble remembering the lines.
No one is allowed to be merry when this guy is around.
It’s at that point Captain Hook makes his entrance. He towers over the lot as he heads down into the brig to reprimand his men for their joyful demeanors. Tim Curry practically snarls his lines, but maintains his rather dignified accent, making for a rather compelling character. His vocabulary is also impeccable and I rather like this depiction of the famed captain quite a bit. Starkey is literally shaking in his boots as Hook enters demanding to know why an irredeemable twit like him would have reason to be merry. When it’s suggested to him by the men that Christmas is the reason, Hook rejects the notion that the holiday is an excuse to behave like fools. I would say he’s angered by the suggestion, but he just seems plain angry all of the time so it’s hard to say just what ticks him off the most. He’s definitely channeling his inner Scrooge as he refers to Christmas as a “humbug,” which causes Smee to reply with, “But I thought it was a holiday?” He further illustrates his feelings on the matter by suggesting those who celebrate should be boiled in their own pudding and have a stake of holly shoved through their heart! This dude is vicious.
That’s not going to work, man.
Smee can’t take a hint as he asks if this means they won’t be exchanging gifts. Scrooge, I mean Hook, looks almost pained by this question, but rather than respond verbally he kicks over their makeshift tree and stomps on the reindeer ornament one of the pirates made. Hook storms off into his own quarters still seething at the fact that his men are just trying to use Christmas as a way to get out of a dishonest day’s work! He takes a seat at his harpsichord and goes to play something, apparently this is how he settles down when the world angers him, only the instrument begins to play by itself! And it’s playing “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” which has Hook looking all kinds of angry (it’s basically his only facial expression). A voice then calls out to him using his first name. It’s a woman’s voice, and Hook looks startled as he whirls around and even asks “Mother?” How sweet? An apparition comes floating in baring the resemblance of Wendy Darling (Christina Lange) which actually excites Hook. He declares he’ll capture her which is surely to rile up that Peter Pan fellow. Unfortunately for Hook, this is basically not-Wendy, but the Ghost of Christmas Past. You know how this is going to go from here. Hook tries to dismiss her as some sort of product of indigestion and even declares he doesn’t believe in her, like that will make her go away.
Never ask a man to choose between love and being a pirate.
It won’t. The Wendy ghost takes Hook back in time to another version of the Jolly Roger. Or maybe just a ship that looks like it. A gang of pirates has recently overtaken this UK vessel and hoisted their own flag. Their leader? A pirate named Jasper – Jasper Hook! A voice calls out to him from offscreen and we see it belongs to a young James Hook. The two brothers clasp hands to draw attention to the lack of a hook as Jasper pulls him aboard and they’re positively giddy about this score. At least that is, until James sees who this ship belonged to. It’s a woman named Cecilia (sounds like Lange) whom James is betrothed to. Present Hook seems a bit wary of watching how this plays out. Through their conversation we find out she was under the impression that James was a merchant, but it’s the life of a buccaneer that he’s chosen instead. He thinks this changes nothing between the two, but Cecilia begs to differ with tears in her eyes. James can’t be bothered and has the men haul her away like a prisoner. Captain James Hook, who has been watching alongside the Ghost of Christmas Past, questions why she means to torment him so? He demands she take him back to his ship, but she informs him they have one more “shadow” to visit first.
You dare pay the future Captain Hook as much as the rest of the crew?!
Past snaps her fingers and we’re whisked away to the interior of a pirate ship. If it’s the same one, I don’t know, but it is following a score as Jasper is handing out gold from a chest to each crew member. When he goes to give James his cut, the younger Hook balks for his brother is giving him the same as everyone else. Jasper reminds him who the captain is, but James declares that maybe it’s time for a new captain. Drawing his sword, with his right hand mind you, he challenges his brother who seems angered by this disloyalty. The two start clanging swords and end up back on the deck. The elder Hook, fighting with sword and dagger, disarms his brother and his sword winds up stuck near the top of the mast. He tells James to surrender and he’ll spare his life, but James refuses and instead climbs up the mast to retrieve his sword.
Sword fights seem to always end up way up here when it comes to pirates.
Now the two brothers are battling atop the sail, which seems like the most dangerous place to have a sword fight on a pirate ship. It looks cool though, and now it’s James’ turn to disarm his brother. He informs the captain that, unfortunately, he does not believe in taking prisoners and declines to extend the same offer to his brother that he just made him. Jasper isn’t about to let himself be cut down and instead makes a jump for it by grabbing on one of the ropes affixed to the sail. He is able to get down to the deck and retrieve his sword, but James is in hot pursuit. He takes a mighty cut at his brother which shatters his sword. Jasper, backpedaling, gets his feet tangled in some rope left on the deck and falls onto his rear. As James approaches, he has a wicked grin upon his face and his sword held high as his brother looks up at him with a terrified expression.
Time for ghost #2.
Before we can see the gruesome aftermath of this confrontation, Hook demands the spirit cease this vision. He then wakes up in his chair in a sweat with a look of distress upon his face that is soon replaced with his usual, grumpy, demeanor. He apparently believes that he did indeed see the past via the magic of some sort of spectre for he calls out to her in defiance. He taunts her by asking aloud if she thought she could really stir feelings of guilt and remorse within him over, as he terms it, relieving his brother of his eye. Apparently, he did not kill his brother that day, only maimed him. He takes a seat at his desk and begins to question if he really did see what he saw. As he settles down to read from a book, the voice of Smee calls out to him. This only further irritates Hook, who turns his head and sees a ghost version of his first mate. He correctly deduces that this is not really Smee, but another apparition, and the ghost confirms that he is indeed the Ghost of Christmas Present causing Hook to question if he is forever to be bedeviled by Christmas. Smee, which we’ll just refer to the ghost as such to make it easier, tells Hook that Christmas normally doesn’t concern itself with a villain such as he which enrages Hook for some reason as he shouts “blast your incorporeal hide!” The writing for Hook is just phenomenol. I normally am far too charmed by old VHS recordings to care much for quality, but in this case, I wish the audio quality were better on my source so I could properly make out every word this show has Tim Curry spit out. He is fantastic.
Hey! Did you know this is a show about Peter Pan?!
Smee informs the captain that he’ll be coming with him and blows a whistle of some kind to whisk the pair away. They’re in a lovely glen and in the center of which is an enormous Christmas tree. Children are singing “Deck the Halls” and it’s quickly revealed that this tree belongs to Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. The children finish their song and we see Tinker Bell come flying in to apparently take on the role of a star atop the tree which will surely get old fast for the fairy. Smee and Hook then come into view and Hook seems more than a little irritated to have been brought here by this “woebegone wraith.” Smee tells him that he just wanted to show Hook how the Neverland-lubbers celebrate Christmas. Hook is positively annoyed and basically calls Smee an idiot declaring he has no appetite for seeing how the unwashed celebrate the holiday. His utter disdain for everything is truly impressive.
I wasn’t expecting snow in this one.
Hook expresses his irritations with ghost Smee, and while the two converse I noticed a curiosity. I watched multiple versions of this episode, and in some the background changes to what’s coming in the next scene while in others it remains consistent. It would seem they had an issue and must have actually paid to have it fixed for rebroadcast. Anyway, we pivot to Wendy and Peter having a conversation about the decor. She thinks something is missing and Peter soon realizes it’s snow, but he also seems to have forgotten what snow is (this forgetfulness is foreshadowing something to come). Tinker Bell (Debi Derryberry) remarks how humans have such short memories before tossing some pixie dust all over the place which makes it snow. The top of the tree also still features a glowing orb so maybe Tink just cast some sort of spell to create a makeshift star? Snow soon collects on the tree and the kids are happy. Pan even nails John with a snowball who is happy to fight back. Hook has seen enough and demands that Smee evacuate him from the area, but not before he gets his bearings so that he may return to the lair of Pan and raze it to the ground! Smee informs him he will be doing no such thing and instead toots his whistle again.
A toast to Captain Hook!
Now we’re in the lair of Pan and The Lost Boys and they’re all preparing for a Christmas feast. A platter appears via Tinker Bell’s magic upon the table and the kids are all excited. It looks like they eat real food and not junk food as seen in the film Hook. When Wendy lifts the lid on the dish the kids are dismayed to find a single acorn. If you think this is a Tiny Tim situation you would be mistaken as Tinker Bell informs them it was just a little holiday jest and quickly magics up a turkey. Before the kids can dig in though, Wendy says they should offer up a toast. Peter is in agreement and toasts to…himself. He quickly adds “And everyone else,” rather awkwardly, but the others seem to pay it no mind. I’m guessing they’re used to this sort of thing out of Pan. Michael (Whit Hertford) then questions if he really means everyone and specifically mentions Captain Hook. Wendy comes over to confirm that even Hook is deserving of such a toast. Pan snorts and remarks that if Hook were there he’d cut off his other hand and give it to him as a Christmas present. How violent! Wendy scolds him for his boast and Pan reluctantly concedes that she’s right. He stands up and gives a somewhat half-hearted toast to Captain Hook which the other kids share in.
No matter who is Captain Hook, it would seem Smee always gets the worst of it.
Hook then questions what’s the point of all this? Smee informs him that he just wants to show him that even bitter enemies lay down their arms on Christmas. Hook indicates he has no stomach for this “sentimental tripe,” which Smee says is unfortunate because he has more to show him. We’re then taken to the bowels of the Jolly Roger where the rest of the crew resides. The pirates are still sore from how Hook treated them and they seem to be ready to mutiny over it. As they draw their weapons, it’s Smee who pops in to declare they’ll be doing it over his dead body. He starts clashing swords with Mullins (Jack Angel) and tries to defend his captain’s honor. Hook remarks to the ghost Smee that he intends to put these jackanapes in their place, but the ghost tells him that’s not why he chose to show him this. Suddenly, the material version of Hook comes swaddling in demanding to know what’s going on. Smee informs him it’s a mutiny and Hook misunderstands him and seemingly thinks that Smee is declaring a mutiny, not trying to stop one. He picks Smee up by his shirt utilizing his hook while the little guy tries to tell him he had his best interests at heart. Hook puts him down seemingly understanding, only to double-down on his accusations by demanding Mullins chain Smee and toss him in the brig. As the first mate is hauled away he tells him this will be his last Christmas! This is really clumsy considering this is supposed to be the present, but it features Hook! Why didn’t we see this earlier?
“So brother, you’re looking well these days.”
Hook, the viewing Hook, is politely reprimanded by ghost Smee for his misjudgement. Hook seems unphased and remarks that Smee should basically be killed on principal anyway. The ghost, seemingly admitting defeat, informs Hook he’ll be returning him to his ship now. Hook then materializes outside his cabin door and is immediately sent into a rage for he can hear someone playing his harpsichord inside his chambers! He smashes down the door, which was a really lovely piece that will now have to be replaced, and barges in demanding to know who possesses the temerity to play the harpsichord of Captain James Hook! Why, it’s his brother Jasper now acting as the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come. Hook has apparently still not grasped the situation for he mistakes the ghost for his actual brother and attempts to cut him down with his blade only for it to pass harmlessly right through him. The ghost, sporting an eye patch as the real Jasper must, smiles wickedly at Hook and informs him who he really is, and isn’t. Hook sarcastically asks him of what concern is all of this to him only for the spirit to float above him and angrily call out his misdeeds. He’s lied to his loved ones, betrayed his own flesh and blood, and condemned the one man who showed him loyalty. Flipping up the patch over his eye, the spirit promises to show Hook the bitter harvest yet to come.
Upon seeing his ship in ruins, Hook reacts like a dad who just found out his kid snuck out in his sports car and nailed a fire hydrant.
We’re taken to the wreckage of a ship I assume to be Hook’s Jolly Roger. It is indeed his as he immediately starts ranting and raving about the condition of his ship. We then see Mullins stealing food from Cookson as the two emerge from a cave with the captain nowhere to be found. Hook is displeased by this showing, but the spirit has more to share. He flips up his patch and we’re transported to a swampy lagoon. A disheveled and seemingly delirious Smee is walking through the ankle deep water carrying something under his arm and shouting out to his captain not to worry for he’s coming. He approaches a large, hollowed out tree and declares “There ya be captain, a fresh covering of moss for yee,” revealing that the garbage under his arm is apparently a bunch of moss. The ghostly Hook is confused by this and declares he’d retire to Bedlam before he’d let someone like Smee take care of him. Still refusing to realize what story he’s in, we watch as Smee goes to enter the tree only for the shadow of Peter Pan to pass over him. He runs calling out a warning to his captain as he disappears into the tree, but the somewhat sullen Pan doesn’t seem like he’s here for a fight.
Aww, Peter misses Captain Hook.
It’s at this point that Hook utters a version of the famous line asking the spirit “Are these the shadows of the things that will be, or are they the shadows of the things that maybe?” The spirit ignores the question and instead points out to Hook to gaze upon his final resting place. The captain looks a tad frightened as he beholds his unmarked grave which Peter Pan has knelt beside. The spirit refers to it as unmarked, but the grave is indeed marked by the presence of his famous hook on a stick of some sort, he just doesn’t get a tombstone. Peter then pulls out his dagger and remarks he has no need of it now. He seems a bit sad as he’s clearly lost his purpose in life without his adversary and ponders if he should finally grow up and leave Neverland. Now this puts a smile on Hook’s face as he declares this perfect! He laughs heartily and declares that in death he has finally defeated Peter Pan! The spirit then cautions him not to act so hastily and flips up his eyepatch once again.
Here comes the meltdown.
Now we’re transported to a more colorful and bright setting. The Lost Boys are seated by the edge of some trees until Peter Pan comes soaring in. He excitedly calls out to them to “Look what I found!” It’s the hook of one Captain Hook, and Peter acts like he has no idea where it came from, but now they can play pirates! The boys fly off with Peter Pan declaring that he’ll be the pirate leader: Captain Claw! Hook is bewildered at the sight and the spirit is happily able to inform him that the kids quickly forgot all about him once he was dead. This basically destroys Hook who falls to his knees and starts raking the earth with his hook hand. Crying out, “Hear me brother: I am not the man I was! I will change! I swear it! I swear it!”
It’s celebration time, men! Debauchery, murder, looting, you name it!
As he cries out, we transition back to Hook’s quarters and find him raking his hook hand over his mattress essentially destroying it in the process. He soon realizes that he’s back in his room, and even his door is intact! He calls out for Mullins who enters immediately for the captain to ask him to confirm what day is it? “Why, it’s Christmas, sir!” he replies on cue. Hook declares this excellent and orders him to assemble the men on the deck immediately. This also comes with an order to release Smee from the brig. Once everyone is gathered on the deck, Hook informs the men that he’s changed his mind that they will observe the Christmas holiday after all. The men are dumbstruck with Starkey remarking the captain has lost his senses. Hook corrects him to say he has not lost his senses, but rather found them. He then orders the men to arm themselves as he dumps a pile of weapons on the deck and informs them that they will be going ashore to celebrate Christmas with a raid on Peter Pan!
Merry Christmas, indeed.
Hook, with his arms outstretched, then clarifies what has taken place. He says he swore he’d change, and he will, for the worse! “I’ll redouble my attacks on Pan. I’ll triple them!” It’s hard to make out precisely what he says following that, but he basically declares that Peter Pan will never forget the name of Captain James Hook! He then cries out “Merry Christmas, Peter Pan,” as his cape bellows menacingly in the wind, “and prepare to meet thy doom!” He then walks off laughing his evil laugh which is the lasting image for this holiday affair.
“Hook’s Christmas” is not a very interesting episode as it relates to Christmas. It adapts what some may call a tried-and-true Christmas staple, but what many would also just call a tired plot. A Christmas Carol is beyond overdone and it was in the early 90s just as it was today. This one does have a bit of a wrinkle in that it’s Scrooge character, one Captain James Hook, is truly irredeemable. There’s no changing who he is. Sure, many a villainous character have had their Christmases interrupted by a gang of spirits and it was enough for them to at least do one nice thing, but not Hook! It has the opposite effect, which is really the only outcome that could have come of this since he’s quite clearly an evil man and there are many more episodes to follow. They could have had him just be a little nice to his crew and let that be it, but I do like that the writers on this one wanted none of that and fully held onto this characterization of Hook.
For regular viewers, it was probably fun to see a young Hook and his brother in this one.
That’s not enough to rescue the plot from this droll retelling, but the depiction of Captain Hook just might be. I was totally smitten with this take on the character by Tim Curry. He is wonderfully written with just a delicious vocabulary. This is not some rough and tough pirate covered in grime and ill-spoken. This Hook is dignified and above everyone else in his mind. He carries himself like royalty and he’s clearly well-educated. He’s just vile and despicable and he loves that about himself. Curry is just absolutely wonderful in the role and I hung on every word he said. Adapting A Christmas Carol may not have been the soundest decision this show made, but putting an entire episode on Hook’s shoulders absolutely was. Combining the performance with the twist ending basically does the impossible: I was entertained by A Christmas Carol. I mean, the classic story is fine and entertaining on its own, but I can’t think of many episodes of television that went in this direction and actually succeeded. Years ago, I somewhat praisedThe Real Ghostbusters for putting their own spin on the tale, but I still wouldn’t call that episode good and it’s not something I ever return to. And I’m not saying I’m ever going to return to “Hook’s Christmas” either, but I may consider it. If I had any nostalgic attachment to the show it’s from then I probably would, but lacking that, it’s more just a fun little diamond in the rough one discovers when doing such an exercise as this and I’m feeling satisfied. Usually, most of the uncovered Christmas episodes I come across leave me feeling the opposite.
It’s a shame this performance isn’t more celebrated than it is. Tim Curry is my Captain Hook.
If you wish to view Fox’s Peter Pan & the Pirates you sadly have few options. Remember that whole story to begin this about Disney not wanting this show to exist? Yeah, well, now they own it. Disney acquired this alongside a whole bunch of other Fox properties years ago with the acquisition of Fox Kids Worldwide. Disney has released some of those shows on DVD and licensed others for streaming, but not this one (aside from a select few episodes in the UK) and they likely never will. They would fear that consumers would think this ties into their own take on Peter Pan even with the title being what it is. And it’s a shame, because if nothing else the show appears to have some solid animation. This particular episode wasn’t impressive in that regard, but other clips I’ve seen look quite nice. And people are missing out on this fantastic version of Captain Hook. I don’t know if the show itself is really worth watching, but it would be nice if it were available for those who did grow up watching it or who are just curious. The only good thing is that Disney doesn’t seem at all interested in enforcing its trademark here so the show can be found scattered across the internet in varying states of quality. You don’t have to look hard, though you will if you want to find the best quality version possible. As you can tell by the images in this post, I had trouble doing just that (the best I found was on the channel Cartoon Archive), but what I did find was certainly watchable. It’s just a shame most cut out the commercials.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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