Fresh Monkey Fiction is back with Naughty or Nice Wave Two and just in time for…(checks calendar)…Valentine’s Day? Okay, so things didn’t go quite as planned with this line. In 2021, Fresh Monkey Fiction partnered with Big Bad Toy Store for this line of action figures based primarily on Santa Claus. That preorder took about a year to fulfill, but the first wave arrived just in time for Christmas 2022. It was around that same time that FMF put wave two up for preorder. I’m sure they tried their best, but FMF is a small shop and probably doesn’t have much sway when it comes to overseas factory priority. I suppose I could have waited and put this review on hold until we get closer to Christmas 2024, but there’s this flying, naked, guy in my house pointing a bow and arrow at me so I guess we have to do it now.
The new figures are basically the same as the old ones, just with new heads and a longer coat for Father Frost.
The Naughty or Nice Collection is essentially one figure modified for each separate release. Both figures we’re going to look at today utilize the same body as the two figures I looked at in 2022. I’ll link to that review at the bottom of this entry, but essentially if you liked those figures then you’ll probably like these ones provided you like the aesthetic they’re going for. Obviously, I’m not all-in on this line as I have need for only so many Santas in my collection, but these two appealed to me. Both figures come packaged in a window box display and it’s been modified from the first wave. Where wave one had more of a “Hasbro” shape, wave two is rectangular. There’s more red incorporated, the character name is now on the bottom of the front of the box instead of the top, the cross-sell has been updated, and the side panels feature images of other figures from wave two. I have no idea which design in-box collectors will prefer, but both seem fine to me.
Father Frost is managing better up top than his Santa brothers.
They don’t all have to be red and green.
Let’s talk Father Frost first. This is basically blue, wizard, Santa and it’s not based on any specific folklore that I’m aware of. I think of it as a combination of Santa and Jack Frost. Frost stands at about 6.5″ to the top of his head, slightly taller with the hat, and the only thing different about the sculpt from the Santa figures I looked at from wave one is that this figure has a longer coat which necessitated a different belt overlay. The head is different from the traditional Santa to feature a longer beard and hair on top and a face that is less full. What attracted me to this design is the blue and white deco. There’s a lot of red, white, and green in my Christmas display so any chance I have at adding some blue is welcome. I do like how the figure turned out, though I will say the shade of blue has a touch more yellow to it than the promotional shots and even the images on the box where it’s a darker blue. I would have preferred that, or even a more powder blue, where as this is almost in between.
And he apparently has some rather gnarly powers.
Translucent powers – activate!
The paint job on Father Frost is an improvement over wave one in some respects, but also not perfect. The head portrait is done very well. I like how he has blue eyes with a touch of white inside them. Upon very close inspection the left ear isn’t perfect nor is the transition from beard to right cheek, but it’s nothing you would see even at an arm’s length. The white portions of the coat have been dirtied with a paint wash that makes the robe look more lived in. The belt buckle is painted silver as are the buckles on the boots and it’s pretty clean. Based on the box, it looks like the end of the belt was supposed to be painted silver, but it was missed by the factory on mine and I’m guessing it will be on most. The only paint detail that bugs me a little is the hem of the coat isn’t painted all the way to the edge. It’s worse on the back, but at least it’s the back. For this wave it does look like all of the hinges are cast in the best color so when paint flakes off of them there won’t be a miscolored piece beneath it.
He comes with the same naughty and/or nice list we’ve seen a whole bunch, but in his hands I like to think of it as a spell scroll.
Father Frost comes with a solid assortment of accessories and optional parts. He comes with a set of blue gripping hands, but also has four ungloved hands: trigger right, gripping left, left fist, pointing right. Basically, if you don’t like the look of the blue, gloved, hands you have bare hands instead. He has an alternate head which is the same sculpt as the default, but it’s cast in translucent blue plastic. This was added after solicitation on the suggestion of someone in the Facebook community (if I’m not mistaken) so that Father Frost could match one of the elves in the wave and it’s a good idea and pretty cool that it was added. It looks nice, but it’s hard to get onto the ball joint. And you want to get it all the way seated so that you can’t see the painted neck. They also wisely added some gray paint to the top of the neck ball so there isn’t an odd blob of color inside the head. Father Frost’s main accessory is his staff which is topped with a translucent, blue, crystal. It looks like the sculpted rope was supposed to be painted a different color to differentiate it from the staff, but that didn’t happen. Still, it looks fine. The other accessories are reused: a present which opens, a nice list, and a stand. There’s also a little locomotive toy which fits inside the present. The present has a white and blue deco to coordinate with Father Frost.
Totally not Willie from Bad Santa.
Father Frost is the magical interpretation of Santa, Mall Santa is the opposite. This guy seems to be clearly inspired by the movie Bad Santa, but he’s kept legally distinct. He’s basically a worn down, drunken, cynical, Santa just trying to make a buck. He features a balding portrait with a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He has a five o’clock shadow and a look of almost sad indifference in his eyes. His left eye is supposed to be a black eye, but the paint there is a bit lacking and it doesn’t make it as obvious as the promotional images. His beard is part of the sculpt and I kind of wish they sculpted it in such a way to make it look more obvious and pathetic that it’s a false beard. Maybe a gap between the chin and beard or hooks around his ears would have done the trick. There appears to be a paint wash on his face to dirty him up which has been applied to the body as well. His suit is a deeper red than the other Santas and the whites are all dirty. There’s even a stain in the middle of his chest, which is a nice touch. The look the figure is going for is obvious, but I do wish he could have been on a skinnier base, but I know that’s not really what this line is designed to do.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with a cookie?!”
Mall Santa does not come with any alternate hands or portraits. His default hands are gloved, gripping, hands and I’m torn on if I prefer those to ungloved hands. The good news is if you do want different hands then you could always borrow them from another figure. Mall Santa’s main accessory is his bottle of whisky. It’s a translucent amber with a black cap with prints on both sides to let you know that it is indeed whisky. The cap doesn’t come off, and the articulation is limited in that he can’t really “drink” it. The cap also isn’t removable, so while I like it, the accessory is a bit limited. There’s also a handheld bell in case he’s more of a donation seeking Santa. He comes with a crushed, red, present with silver ribbon which is pretty neat and makes for a good pillow should you wish to display him passed out. He also has a gingerbread man cookie with a bite taken out of the head and a teddy bear toy. There’s nothing cynical about the bear, it’s just another toy for the display. He also comes with the customary stand, should you wish to use it.
“Ohh Krampus, I have another one for your naughty list.”
Both Father Frost and Mall Santa arrive as expected. Obviously, since they were based on the same molds as last year’s figures it makes sense. The articulation is completely the same, which is why I’m not doing a rundown on it for this space. I would like to see some improvements to the upper body to get better range out of the shoulders since these figures should be able to eat cookies and drink milk (or booze) and they can’t do that. Father Frost basically is what I wanted. Some of the paint could be better and I would have preferred a darker blue, but he looks fine with the other figures and will make for a nice addition to the Christmas display. Mall Santa is also mostly as expected and any disappointment I have with it is basically the same as when it was solicited. I would have loved a passed out, second, portrait and more booze. A crumpled beer can, six pack, empty bottles, something else to go with the whisky would have been cool. His paint is clean though, actually better applied than Father Frost, and the figure works for me. I also count Bad Santa among my favorite Christmas movies and I understand it’s not for everyone.
“Look out, kids, Santa needs to empty his stomach.”
If you’re looking to add more Santa figures to your Christmas action figure collection in February, then I can certainly recommend these two. The others are probably just as good and it all comes down to if you like the design. This line is exclusive to Big Bad Toy Store and everything from wave two is in-stock as of this writing. Each Santa will set you back $37 which isn’t a small amount. They are from a smaller company and not produced in the same volume as a bigger toy company, but it’s probably still a little more than I think most would want. I compare the price to original IP from other small shops where their figures come in at the 30 dollar mark. Still, with the amount of paint and overall feel of these figures I would say you’re getting something better than Marvel Legends quality so it’s reasonable to me. Just don’t ask me about those reindeer they’re currently soliciting for wave three.
Who doesn’t want to read about Christmas toys in February?!
It was looking like we were in for a photo finish this year. Last year, toymaker Fresh Monkey Fiction partnered with online retailer Big Bad Toy Store to launch the Naughty or Nice collection. Structured similar to a Kickstarter campaign, FMF posted several action figures for preorder with a minimum order quantity needed for the…
Ho! Ho! Ho! It’s the jolly one – Santa Claus! Oh, wait, no, it’s the somber, moody, one: Batman Santa! Yes, it’s our first Christmas themed post of 2023 and it’s an action figure review – shocking, I know. McFarlane Toys has held the DC license for several years now, but this is my first…
Four Horsemen Studios is back with another holiday release in its Figura Obscura line of action figures. This sister line of their more famous Mythic Legions property launched two years ago with Krampus and continued with last year’s Father Christmas. Many fans, myself included, expected another holiday figure this year, though if you had asked…
We have reached another Christmas Day! It’s a great time to celebrate and enjoy the moment for tomorrow we mourn the passing of the season. It’s the great come-down every year. For this holiday, I am once again returning to my list of the best of the best when it comes to Christmas specials. This entry will complete that list as I made it a personal mission to revisit the ones I felt had been short-changed by me in the past. There are still some on the initial list of 25 that I bumped off when I revisited the list a few years ago. Maybe I’ll circle back to them – I don’t know! That’s a discussion for next year. For now, lets talk Disney’s Prep & Landing.
Prep & Landing is not number one on my top 25 best of Christmas list, but it probably would be if we were only talking about specials created in the last 23 years. The only one such special I ranked ahead of it was the episode “Last Christmas!” from another Disney property, DuckTales. It was a mere two spots ahead of this one, definitely in the tenuous zone, and I have a feeling if I were to make such a list I’d be inclined to make this particular special number one over a very excellent episode of DuckTales. Why? Because this one is very much a traditional Christmas special in that it’s essentially stand-alone (sequels have followed, but they don’t enhance this one) and adds to the lore of Christmas by focusing on the elves who help get things done to make Christmas, Christmas. We’ve seen plenty of elves hard at work in the toy shop, but never have we seen them entering a home on Christmas Eve to make sure everything is in place for Santa. With his list of houses to visit as big as it is, there can be no wasted time on Christmas Eve. He needs to get in and get out and one misplaced toy or aggressive dog could blow the whole thing up. My approach each year is to save something fairly traditional for the final entry. And this year, I also decided to go in chronological order when it came to my re-rankings on the 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, and today. We started in 1977 with The Flintstones, and today we end in 2009.
Disney seemed pretty confident it had a couple of stars on its hands in Lanny and Wayne.
Enter Wayne (Dave Foley) and the other elves of Prep & Landing. It’s their job to get in and make sure that anything that could go wrong won’t. Kids staying up trying to catch the man in action? They put them to sleep. Tree has too many low-hanging branches to fit a gift? They trim ’em. Nuts in the cookies? You’re outta here! It’s a big operation that relies on a vast network of elves and even a secret reindeer to get it done and it mostly comes from the mind of Chris Williams, Kevin Deters, and Stevie Wermers-Skelton. Williams is credited with the idea for the special which he pitched as a short. John Lasseter, then in charge of animation at Disney, decided it would work best as a TV special. Unfortunately, Williams wasn’t available to direct because he was assigned Bolt so it was handed off to Deters and Wermers-Skelton to direct. They added their own touches, and the special premiered on December 8, 2009.
When Prep & Landing first arrived on television I paid it no mind. It was 2009 so I was mostly just working and working and working and trying to save money for my own home after renting for a few years. I don’t even recall when I first watched this special, but by the time that I did the sequel was out and it formed a tidy one hour block on ABC each year. For some reason I associated it with Phineas and Ferb, a show I hear is perfectly fine, but not something I need in my life. I guess it was just the similar title that made me think that, but it was actually a recommendation from my mother to watch the two that finally got me to bite. It was love at first viewing. I love Dave Foley going back to his days on Kids in the Hall and by 2009 Disney was good enough at producing CG material that looked on par with what Pixar had been doing for even longer. And I love Christmas! By the time I watched it I think I was stockpiling Christmas specials on DVD because I can’t get enough of them at this time of year and Prep & Landing has been a worthy inclusion on my annual viewing list ever since.
This one has a very traditional vibe to it, though it’s hard to place the era of the setting.
Prep & Landing begins in traditional fashion. We get some lovely shots of a quiet town asleep at night. There’s snow everywhere and Christmas decorations dot the landscape. Nat King Cole’s rendition of “The Christmas Song” is the sound of the season bringing us in. It really is a picture perfect way to begin a Christmas special and a great way to put a capper on the Christmas season. If just one person decides to end their Christmas Day with this special as a result of this entry then I will consider it mission accomplished.
It’s like Mission Impossible, but with elves.
An interior shot of a Christmas tree pans to a lit fireplace. As Cole starts to tell us about folks dressed up like slurs, the music is cut out in favor of an aerosol can sound, a clever way to avoid a potentially offensive word while also crafting an effective scene transition. Someone has put out the fire from above and two little heads with pointed hats come into view. They’re hanging upside down and sporting what looks like night vision goggles since they’re illuminated green. They scan the room and we’re briefly shown a view from their perspective of an inverted Christmas tree. The music has switched to an electronic spy theme, but with a touch of Christmas chimes added to it. The score was composed by Michael Giacchino and it is fantastic throughout, in case I forget to highlight it later (I often do).
If you ever thought your tree looked a little smaller on Christmas morning now you know why.
The elves emerge from the fireplace and stealthily move about the house. The skinnier of the two, Peterson, creeps upstairs to a bedroom where a little girl is asleep. He scans her with a handheld device that’s shaped like a gingerbread man, but functions like an iPhone. It relays to him that there are 0 creatures stirring. They move to the tree where the same device is used to project a laser image of a Christmas present that is 18″ high. They don’t quite have enough space under the tree for a box of that size, so the other elf, Wayne (Foley), descends from a grappling hook and shaves some of the branches back and silently directs Peterson to vacuum up the debris. Foley’s voice, as Wayne, then comes on to narrate the rest of the scene first starting with a question for the audience asking if it has ever wondered how the whole operation gets done? This is our introduction to the operation that is Prep & Landing. As he explains, we see some of the duties carried out including prepping the stockings by blowing air into them to widen them for efficient stuffing, the temperature of the milk is tested, and the cookies confirmed to be nut-free (I bet you didn’t know the big guy had a nut allergy). A dog threatens to mess the whole thing up (his model is the same as Bolt, but re-colored), but Wayne gets a bomb shaped like a Christmas ornament to Peterson which explodes in the dog’s face and puts the canine to sleep. They leave a candy-cane striped dog bone behind as a “Sorry I had to bomb you,” offering.
This one is all about Wayne and his desire to move up in the pecking order at work, but maybe doing so isn’t what he really needs.
The operation moves to the roof where the elves lay down a landing strip of sorts. They direct the sleigh which deploys a hook that grabs the landing strip to pull it to a complete stop, just like how a jet lands on an aircraft carrier. With the job done, Wayne enjoys a snack on the edge of the roof. If they go onto other homes it’s not addressed or implied which means this is a huge operation. Also, not a bad gig to have to prep one house once a year. The voice over tells us that Wayne has been doing this a long time, and it’s illustrated by a sequence of shots of Wayne getting buried in snow each time the sleigh lands on the roof. The last one has the snow resembling hair and a beard as a brief fake-out that he’s looking much older as well, but he just brushes it off. Wayne is clearly ready for a change, and that’s what this special is all about.
Hints of a power trip to come from Wayne, maybe he actually isn’t ready for a promotion despite being on this beat for over 200 years?
It’s Christmas Eve at the North Pole and a very fancy snow mobile has just pulled into a reserved parking spot. It’s a spot intended for the Director of the Naughty List and the attendant elf is not happy with whoever just pulled in. It’s Wayne, sporting a dress shirt and Christmas tree shaped tie and sunglasses, who is apparently not the appointed director. The attendant, Waterkotte (Peter Jacobson), is insistant that Wayne move because he wasn’t informed of his new position, but Wayne assures him that he’s heading inside to speak with a Magee to make it official. Waterkotte tells him to make sure he gets a sticker on his vehicle pronto, and as he does he taps it with his pencil. Wayne spins on his heels to tell him to be mindful not to scratch his car or he’ll have to put Waterkotte on the Naughty List. He lets out a phony sounding laugh and adds a “Just kidding,” but then follows it up with, “but I could,” to reestablish that there is a real threat at play.
Wayne’s smugness throughout this scene threatens to make him too unlikable. He doesn’t know the names of his co-workers and seems utterly disinterested in his potential subordinates.
Wayne heads into the factory with some pep in his step. He’s singing to himself his own version of “Jingle Bells” that’s basically a celebration of his promotion. He grabs the hands of a blonde elf and does a little twirl with the words of his song a reminder to her not to forget their date under the mistletoe. He grabs onto a golf cart to hitch a ride as it whisks him off to Magee’s office like he’s the star in his own musical. Voices call out to him that they’re going to miss him and when he does come to a stop he’s greeted by a pair of Coal Elves. As Director of the Naughty List, Wayne is apparently their boss now. The two elves are dressed line miners and covered in soot. It doesn’t require explanation and it’s actually rather nice that the special lets us fill in the information that these guys are dispatched to the homes of naughty kids where coal is left behind. One of the elves, Gristletoe Joe (Lino DiSalvo), better known as Nancy, has a gift for his new boss – a sooty, brick of fruit cake made by his wife. Wayne accepts it with his thanks and promises good things are coming with him in charge. It would seem Wayne has ether told everyone about this promotion leading up to it, or everyone just expects him to finally get it.
Magee is a great character who we could stand to see some more of.
Of course, that means he’s not. Wayne arrives at Magee’s office and drops the fruit cake on her desk indicating he probably has no intention of actually eating the thing. Magee (Sarah Chalke) is like the CEO of this whole operation (her official title is North Pole Christmas Eve Command Center Coordinator). She’s in the middle of two phone conversations, one via handheld device and the other headset, when Wayne walks in as a small attendant (Tiny) holds a clipboard up to her to get her approval on something. We only ever see the tip of Tiny’s hat because he’s, well, tiny. Magee first asks Wayne if he lost a bet in response to the tie he’s wearing, but Wayne isn’t phased and explains it’s his celebration tie. This is followed with the bad news. Not only is Wayne not getting the promotion, his partner Peterson is. Wayne can’t believe it since he’s been on the job longer and is the one who trained his understudy only for him to get promoted out from under him. This information is all shared by Wayne in a sarcastic manner, but the sarcasm is lost on Magee who just hears the part about being happy for Peterson. She takes a sip of whatever Tiny brought her (I think it’s eggnog) and it’s apparently bad as she dumps it into the pot of her little Charlie Brown tree behind her which causes the needles to fall off of it. It’s Christmas Eve though and there’s no time to be sad as Wayne has a new partner to train – Lanny (Derek Richardson).
Easy there, Lanny, you can’t just go and grab your co-workers like that without consent, buster.
Lanny introduces himself by first struggling with the door to Magee’s office. Seems he thinks it’s a “Pull” door and not a push one and basically opens it by accident. He salutes Wayne and introduces himself, his call sign is Tree Skirt (Wayne’s is Little Drummer Boy), and Wayne seems unimpressed. Lanny doesn’t pick up on the tension at all as he shakes Wayne’s hand with tremendous enthusiasm telling him he had a poster of him on his wall as a kid. He gives him a hug too, and while I do enjoy the performance of Derek Richardson as Lanny, his high voice does make me wish they could have hired fellow Kids in the Hall alum Kevin McDonald for the gig as he would have been perfect.
Thrasher has an effective way of getting his point across.
Magee tells them they need to get a move-on as Thrasher is the last transport waiting. This excites Lanny even more as they head for two big, steel, doors that soon open into a hangar. Thrasher (Hayes MacArthur) is a massive reindeer with gray fur and dark sunglasses. He’s got attitude to spare. Lanny approaches him from the front and remarks that he thought Thrasher was just a myth. He’s then told by the reindeer that he is a myth and that if he tells anyone about him then Lanny will be the one that doesn’t exist. He emphasizes this by turning the candy cane he was sucking on vertical in between his teeth and crushes it.
Apparently, she only liked you when she thought you were getting promoted, Wayne.
With that point across, Lanny heads around back to the pod that Thrasher will be pulling. Wayne is already inside looking thoroughly miserable along with some other elves, but Lanny is oblivious as he ponders what Thrasher’s stop speed is and remarks, “This is so tinsel!” Wayne, who looks barely put together with his coat open and gut hanging out, asks Lanny a rhetorical question in response (“Does the phrase silent night mean anything to you?”) and then smiles at the blonde seated next to him. I’m not sure if this is the same blonde elf from earlier or not, but she is all business now as she turns on her goggles and turns away from Wayne.
I don’t think Wayne’s heart is in it this year.
Thrasher takes the elves to the drop zone, 18,000 feet over Sector 7. Lanny and Wayne hop out of the pod and deploy parachutes from the tips of their pointy hats. They descend to the roof of their assigned home as skis deploy from their shoes. Lanny remarks that the neighbor’s house looks like a winter wonderland because of all of the decorations on their lawn. It seems an innocuous comment at the time, but it’s going to play a role later. We cut to the fireplace where the glowing logs indicate that the fire has been out for some time, but are still hot. That doesn’t stop Lanny from spraying them repeatedly as he’s clearly getting no feedback from his partner. He soon emerges from the fireplace and quickly takes cover behind a potted plant of poinsettia. Wayne descends with far less enthusiasm, feet first, just dangling from his candy cane grappling hook.
There’s some great facial animation on Wayne throughout this special.
Wayne then gets the idea to set Lanny free. He proposes he go solo, which Lanny doesn’t think he’s ready for, but Wayne remarks that he’s highly trained and ready for the challenge so Lanny accepts promising to check-in at regular intervals. He heads upstairs to check for stirring creatures while Wayne puts himself on cookie duty. This just means he’s picked up a frosted, Santa-shaped, cookie for himself and set his sights on the kitchen. Lanny confirms the lone child, Timmy, is asleep then gets to prepping the stockings. Wayne, on the other hand, is raiding the fridge. He’s made himself a cup of hot chocolate and is using his tools to grind up more chocolate for it. As he does so, he speaks to the Santa cookie in a taunting fashion pointing out his naughty behavior and encourages the cookie to tell Peterson to put him on his list.
That outlet sure looks like a fire hazard. A reference to A Christmas Story, perhaps?
Lanny, left to himself, has to lean his gingerbread gadget against a toy train to measure the space needed for Timmy’s gift under the tree. It’s a big one, a bicycle, so some trimming is needed. Wayne has settled into a recliner with his coco, cookie, and can of whipped cream which he blasts into his mouth. He uses his grappling device to recline the chair and demonstrates that the gingerbread thing is also a universal remote. He turns the TV on and we’re immediately blasted with Clarence Nash belting out “Merry Christmas!” as Donald Duck. It’s Mickey’s Christmas Carol, 2021’s final entrant in The Christmas Spot, and Wayne asks the Santa cookie if it wants to watch a Christmas Special? Apparently it does, because Wayne just says “Too bad!” and changes the channel. It sounds like a non-copywrite infringing A Charlie Brown Christmas (Hey, Futurama just did something similar a few days ago) and he keeps changing the channel until he gets to something that sounds less seasonal. As for Lanny, unfortunately for him he’s used a side table as a boost to get high enough to make his tree cuts, but when he jumped the gingerbread device tilted causing him to cut off way more tree than is necessary. He starts nervously vacuuming up the excess as he tries to get Wayne on the radio for some help and advice.
This image pains me because I have definitely been there.
Wayne just tells Lanny to go with his gut as he unfastens his own belt and lets himself go. Lanny does basically the only thing he can do and spins the tree around so the front at least looks good. Wayne then decides it’s time to eat the cookie. He holds it up before him and says “Merry Christmas!” before biting into it. Since it’s one of those heavily frosted cookies, it’s hard as a rock. Seriously, those cookies are the worst. Wayne struggles to bite through it, but eventually manages to snap off the pom pom at least. Unfortunately, the cookie had all of his attention and he didn’t notice that his belt device detected a creature stirring. Little Timmy (Mason Cotton) then appears over the back of the chair, much to Wayne’s surprise. He’s also armed with a camera and has Wayne dead to rights.
This dangling elf’s job is to rev-up the reindeer.
At the command center in the North Pole, Magee is getting ready to launch the sleigh. The music is very dramatic and would feel right at home in a Marvel film. The sleigh is summoned and Magee gives the order to rev up the engine. A lone elf descends from the ceiling and psyches the lead reindeer up which is a pretty good bit. Magee then calls for the partridge to enter. That’s apparently Santa’s (William Morgan Sheppard) call sign as the big guy emerges to take his position in the sleigh. Magee then signals to each unit in the command center and they all return with “Dash away,” to indicate their unit is ready for launch. Magee gives the final command, “Dash away all,” and pushes the button to open the hangar. The reindeer start running in place as a countdown appears and they float above the track with sparkles about their feet. When the countdown reaches zero, it’s Santa’s turn to give a “Ho, ho, go!” and pushes the button to launch and Christmas is on! After we see Santa circle the tower to much celebration (no moon shot, sadly) Magee informs the crew that this is what all the planning was leading to. She takes a sip of the nog then assumes a sort of meditative posture as she assures herself nothing will go wrong. She’s quickly informed of a major storm over Sector 7 and she can only utter an “Oh, frostbite,” in response.
I know we’ve only just been introduced to this whole Prep & Landing operation, but I’m pretty sure interacting with the kid is a big no-no.
Back at the Terwelp residence, Timmy has decided to try and converse with his discovery. He’s moved onto the armrest of the chair and Wayne is basically in shock. Timmy remarks he’s surprised at how small Wayne is and guesses that he must be a baby elf, which insults the veteran. As Timmy picks up Wayne to examine him, Lanny comes in to inform his partner there’s a creature stirring, which Wayne is very much aware of at this point. Lanny screams when he sees Timmy and quickly fumbles with a sparkle bomb before tossing it in the kid’s face. He falls to the ground asleep and Lanny picks up the camera to delete the pictures, but before doing so sees a pic of Wayne and one of the Big Guy’s cookies. Wayne is ready to bail, but Lanny reminds him of Section Code 808 which dictates all children will be snug in their beds and Wayne lets out a groan.
All of those fancy gadgets, but not one of them is useful in hauling a kid up some stairs.
We cut to the pair hauling Timmy up the stairs to his room with Lanny in front and Wayne picking up the rear. It’s now that Lanny decides to confront Wayne on his behavior and we find out that Wayne has been at this gig for 227 years. He’s tired of it, but Lanny, being a fresh-faced rookie, gestures to Timmy as the reason for what they do. He views this gig as the best in the world and can’t imagine letting a kid like that down. Timmy does his part by looking cute sucking his thumb in his sleep, but Wayne just tells Lanny he’ll lose his enthusiasm too some day. Lanny tells Wayne he thought he was the Prep & Landing guy, but now he’s sad to find out that he’s really just a lump of coal. Never meet your heroes, ladies and gentlemen. This seems to hurt Wayne, but he shakes it off and tells Lanny that “sometimes we don’t get what we want.”
That’s bad.
As they put Timmy in his bed, Wayne gets a call from Magee. She mentions how Wayne must have noticed how bad the storm is outside to which he responds with “Well, I am now.” She explodes on him as Wayne’s admission of not being aware of the weather means he’s not on the roof which means the house isn’t prepped. He tells her they had a coal in the stocking, but assures her everything is fine because they’re putting him to bed. Everything is not fine as Magee radios to Eight Maids a-Milking which is the call sign for the reindeer. Dasher (Nathan Greno), acknowledges that he hates that call sign before taking Magee’s call. He and Dancer (David DeLuise), who is basically freaking out, report back that they have no visibility and things look bad. Magee has no choice but to radio the Big Guy and inform him the house isn’t prepped and suggest they do the unthinkable – Figgy Pudding. Santa indicates it’s never come to this before, but Magee reminds him it’s one house, one kid, and he’s needed at many more. He reluctantly agrees and the command is given to skip Timmy’s house.
Now it’s time for Wayne to start feeling a bit of empathy.
The commands comes over Wayne and Lanny’s handheld device. Suddenly, Wayne feels horrible. And to make him feel worse, the comatose Timmy reaches out and mistakes him for a stuffed animal. Or not, as he calls him by name and remarks that this will be the best Christmas ever. Aren’t they all? Wayne finds his resolve and extricates himself from Timmy’s grasp and puts his hat back on. He races out of the room and jumps on the banister as he demands Magee patch him through to the Big Guy (they actually never call Santa by name). Magee at first refuses, but then Wayne threatens to tell everyone about her and Tiny. At the suggestion, Tiny’s hat shoots up straight and Magee smiles nervously and responds, “Patching you through.” It would seem an inappropriate work relationship exists between Magee and her subordinate.
See, I told you Lanny’s winter wonderland would bare fruit in the end.
Magee comes through and Santa picks up on the other end. Wayne introduces himself as if Santa wouldn’t know who he is, but Santa informs the elf that Magee has already rerouted him. Wayne insists that he has a plan to land him safely and that there is time. He implores with the big man to let him do his job because he can’t let Timmy down. Santa responds, “I was hoping you would say that. Let’s give it a shot, my boy!” He directs the reindeer back to the house as Wayne and Lanny make for the roof, but not before Wayne remarks to his understudy that this is the most tinsel job around. They hit the roof and throw down the landing strips, but the wind is blowing much too hard and before it can be secured the landing strip is blown away. Lanny remarks that you can’t see anything in this storm, but Wayne points out one thing that’s still visible: Lanny’s winter wonderland.
A little elf ingenuity on display.
The pair make for the neighbor’s house as fast as they can go skiing across the rooftops. Wayne zeroes in on a giant, inflatable, Santa Claus in a snow globe while instructing Lanny to gather some rope. Wayne fastens his gingerbread man to the globe and tapes his hat over it. When he turns around, Lanny is there with basically every Christmas light from the house and asks “Is this enough rope?” Wayne is both surprised and impressed and the two head back to Timmy’s house with their Santa globe and “rope.” Lanny is able to plug the lights in by the mailbox while Wayne inflates the Santa with his stocking stuffer gun. He deploys the parachute on his hat and the wind pulls the inflatable high into the sky with the lights trailing behind it.
This is how they “cut” the engines.
Wayne offers some praise to the young Lanny and the two make for the roof. Wayne gets up no problem via his grappling device, but Lanny hooks an ice damn which gives way causing him to fall. As he drops he cries out that he’s going to die and is pleasantly surprised when he does not. His grappling hook finds his head though and knocks him for a loop as some icicles threaten to do even greater arm. Wayne spies them and swings down like Spider-Man to snatch his apprentice and take him to the roof. He props Lanny by the chimney as Santa radios in about not having a visual on the landing strip. Wayne assures him it’s coming and uses Lanny’s gingerbread device to activate the lights on the floating Santa globe. The reindeer confirm visual, and Dasher gives the command to “cut the engine.” This just means the reindeer stop “running” and tuck their legs, a great visual gag. These two, Dasher and Dancer, are low key the MVPs of this special.
It’s definitely going to take more than two elves to stop a sleigh containing a legendarily large fellow and eight reindeer.
With Santa rapidly approaching, it’s up to Wayne to make the landing a safe one. As he prepares to guide the sleigh in he remembers the tail hook. He dives out of the way firing his grapple gun at the chimney, but it clangs off. All hope seems lost, but don’t forget about Lanny! Lanny awakens from his stupor to grab the other end of the rope! Except, how are two elves going to stop Santa’s sleigh? They can’t, not on their own, but some quick thinking from Wayne as the sleigh pulls the pair like water skiers gets him to deploy Lanny’s hat-parachute to stop the sleigh. Timmy’s house has become impossibly long by this point, but it all adds to the suspense of the moment which is increased with quick cuts to the command center as they watch this somewhat reckless descent. Once the sleigh comes to halt with Dasher and Dancer staring over the edge of the roof, Dancer acts like he’s going to be sick, but keeps it together while the command center rejoices and the two Prep & Landing elves drop from the sky with a thud.
A mistletoe hat, Lanny? My kids would call that very “suss.”
It’s now 9 AM Christmas morning and the whole North Pole is celebrating another holiday completed. It’s just one big party, but one elf has some making up to do. Wayne nervously approaches Santa’s secretary, Miss Holly (Kasha Kropinski) who is typing away at something (apparently the lyrics to “Jingle Bells”). Wayne says he doesn’t have an appointment, but before he can finish Miss Holly instructs him to head inside and that the Big Guy has been expecting him. Wayne is surprised to hear this apparently forgetting that Santa is basically all-knowing and all-seeing. Before he can head in though he’s interrupted by Lanny who wants Wayne to come join the party. He’s wearing a blue sweater with a stocking on it and a Christmas tree hat that looks like a glass-blown decoration. It also has a mistletoe dangling from it and Lanny is covered in lipstick marks. I thought he was cute, but now he seems like a creep. Then again, what do I know of elf culture? Maybe this party isn’t what I imagine?
Time for some groveling?
Wayne assures his partner that he’ll catch up later then nervously enters. He coughs to get Santa’s attention who then beckons him to come in. Wayne goes right into full apology mode for what happened and indicates he understands if Santa wants to fire him, but he implores his boss to make sure Lanny is taken care of as he’s a good elf and not responsible for what happened. Santa seems surprised, and I suppose now is as good a time as any to point out that we never see his face. I guess it adds to the mystique. He tells Wayne not to worry, he’s not going to bite his head off (Wayne winces at this since this is essentially confirmation that Santa knows everything that went down in that house), but acknowledges that every once in a while everyone slips onto the Naughty List. He then gives Wayne a gift – a snow globe. Inside it is a house, and I don’t know if it’s intentional, but damn does it look like Kevin’s house form Home Alone. It’s not actually his house, of course, but Timmy’s and when Wayne looks into it he sees a happy kid on Christmas with his new bike.
It turns out, Wayne is a Prep & Landing guy after all.
Wayne thanks Santa for the gift (and by name, at that, marking the first time an elf addressed him as Santa in this special) and the reminder that comes with it about their job. Santa then adds, “One more thing.” We don’t hear what that is as we cut to the exterior of the office and Wayne coming out. Lanny has been waiting for him and he’s a bit alarmed since Wayne has a shocked look on his face. When he asks him what’s wrong, Wayne explains that Santa just offered him a promotion: Director of the Nice List. Lanny looks disappointed, but still congratulates his former mentor. Wayne then adds he turned him down, “I’m more of a Prep & Landing guy.” He shakes the snow globe as the camera zooms in on the swirling contents and we see Timmy hugging his mom as he has the best Christmas ever. Just before the credits, we also get to see Lanny open his gift. It’s the fruit cake from the Coal Elf, but Lanny is excited to get it and he declares that this is the best Christmas ever!
The special does a good job of selling Wayne’s plight in a believable manner.
And it is a great Christmas and damn fine Christmas special! Prep & Landing has just the right amount of heart and Christmas wholesomeness. It’s mixed with a tale of self-destruction on the part of Wayne’s, but it does a solid job of providing some motivation for Wayne’s actions. It might be hard for kids to empathize, but for an adult it’s pretty easy. And it’s that sentiment that keeps Wayne from becoming unlikable, something the sequel struggles with. At least for Wayne, he has the sort of job that is designed to make kids happy and that’s something that’s easy to play up for an audience. And it’s pretty easy to get Wayne to come around as well. I suppose a very cynical person might not be moved by Timmy potentially missing out on a bike, but that sort of person probably isn’t watching many Christmas specials to begin with. I suppose another negative read would be that this is corporate America telling folks to know their role and be happy in their place, but I’m going to cut it some slack and and assume that isn’t the message here.
These two are a terrific pair. Is it too late to get a special starring them?
The story is dressed-up by the lore. I like seeing this side of the holiday, even if it makes no attempt to explain how it could be plausible. Santa needs help to make these deliveries, but if each team only preps one house them he needs billions of elves, which means billions of Thrasher types to make this a go. And there’s no attempt at explaining how he can still move fast enough, but that’s not unique to Prep & Landing. Most ignore that stuff because it is impossible, so I suppose it’s something the audience shouldn’t be too concerned with. Magee is a great character though, this tightly wound director type just trying to keep a huge operation running smooth. And Dasher and Dancer are terrific as a pair. I want to see more from them. They get some of the best lines in this one and I particularly like when Dancer asks how they’re going to pull this landing off and his response is “Laughing all the way.”
Great use of I.P. I also love this old panel television -what year is this supposed to be?
This is a special with lots of references in it as well. The most blatant being the Charlie Brown tree in Magee’s office and the shot of Mickey’s Christmas Carol on television. The latitude and longitude of Timmy’s house, and he himself seems like a reference to Tiny Tim, correspond with the same for The Walt Disney Company’s headquarters in Burbank (which has quite possibly never seen snow like that of Timmy’s house). Timmy’s nightlight is Goofy from the short How to Hook Up Your Home Theater which is the short the directors of this special worked on previously. There are other references and easter eggs in here that I won’t spoil, but this is one that’s fun to pause repeatedly during a viewing to try to get them all.
I didn’t point it out, but we did get a moon shot very early in this one as Wayne gives the overview on his gig. And it’s a pretty unique one at that.
Most importantly, this special just sticks the landing and I find myself rooting for Wayne and Lanny. And I also want more, which is great because there is more out there. And if you want to spend Christmas with the appointed Christmas Elves, the easiest way is via Disney+ which has this and more from the pair. There have been rumors that more was coming from this franchise, but those rumors are from 2011 so it seems like that’s unlikely. And that’s okay, since this special is more than enough as it is. It’s a great addition to the massive stockpile of Christmas specials out there and deserves to be counted among the greats.
If you have been reading all month long, then I thank you for doing so. And if this is the only entry of mine you’ll ever read – thanks! I do this for me as it’s a way to really make sure I enjoy the Christmas season, because you never know how many you’ll get to experience. Thanks again, and more importantly, merry Christmas!
Can’t wait until next year for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
Welcome to Christmas Day 2022! We made it another year and another long year is ahead of us until we make it back, but right now, it’s time to celebrate! And in keeping with the theme of this year’s countdown, we are once again looking at another much beloved Christmas special on this day. Before…
We made it! Another year in the books, and another Christmas has come. Indulge in it. Bask in it, for it only comes once a year, and not to get too dramatic, but you never know how many you’re going to get. And we’re ending this year’s edition of The Christmas Spot with another throwback…
It’s Christmas morning, and if you woke up to a tree packed full of presents you have only one person to thank for that – Sonic the Hedgehog! What? You didn’t know that Sonic took over for Santa back in 1996? Oh, well find yourself a comfy chair and a plate of chili dogs while…
It feels like, at this point in time, we have hit peek 90s nostalgia. I can recall when it felt like 70s nostalgia hit pretty hard and then the 80s arrived not too far after. It’s inevitable whenever a generation that spent much of their adolescence in a given decade hits adulthood. And by adulthood I mean post-grad, rank and file, done with my 20s, sort of adults. They’re usually folks with some disposable income to spend on things that take them back or they’re willing to just sink time into old TV shows. And that’s where a lot of nostalgia used to reside. Programming blocks like Nick at Nite would literally air old television shows its target audience likely enjoyed when they were younger and a whole bunch of small television stations picked up similar shows to fill their programming schedules. Now, with an abundance of television and streaming platforms, the same still takes place, but now more than ever it seems companies are turning to new content with old IPs and that’s fueled a different kind of nostalgia-boom for 90s kids.
Netflix is partly credited (blamed?) for this rise in nostalgic programming as when the platform pivoted from DVD on-demand to streamer it needed a lot more content to pad things out. And when the network found certain things were popular, it was used as a springboard into new content. That is how we ended up with a brand new Animaniacs in 2020. The old episodes were popular enough on Netflix that it convinced Steven Spielberg and Warner Bros. to explore bringing the show back. Either Netflix wasn’t interested, or they were simply outbid, because the show would come back as Hulu’s first original programming for families. The funny thing is, when Hulu made that announcement way back in 2018, a large portion of the company was owned by 20th Century Fox. Fox would famously sell that entire sect of its business to Disney in the ensuing years giving the company majority ownership of Hulu making it a de-facto Disney+ for broader audiences (and they’ll apparently be merging in 2024). Suddenly, Disney was financing a Warner cartoon, and for animation nerds that was kind of amusing. And not only was a new version of Animaniacs bound for the platform, the legacy Warner cartoons were added to Hulu where they resided for a few years before the agreement eventually expired.
I thought we weren’t going to get a Christmas special out of the reboot, but thankfully I was wrong.
Now, if you’re a regular reader of this countdown, you may be thinking “Didn’t we already do Animaniacs this year?” We did, back on the 3rd, but the recent shakeups with Warner have made me a bit uneasy. Since those classic cartoons were dropped from Hulu they’ve failed to show up elsewhere. HBO Max has become just Max and it’s been dropping shows left and right. I don’t know how long Hulu has the Animaniacs reboot for, but I assume it’s not indefinitely. Once it’s removed from Hulu it may be gone for awhile, maybe even forever. Do I want to chance that Animaniacs (2020) will be around next year? Nope, so I figured we might as well double-up on the brand this year. And since we did look at the first iteration of the show early in the countdown, it feels like a nice bookend to come back to it on Christmas Eve. Plus, this episode is more of a Pinky and the Brain episode that feels like an unofficial sequel to the fantastic A Pinky and the Brain Christmas. In short – who cares? This is worth looking at in 2023 just as it would be in any year.
The new Animaniacs is a lot like the old Animaniacs except only five of these characters came back.
If you haven’t caught up on this new version of Animaniacs, it’s essentially the same as the old, just slimmer. The original Animaniacs was an ensemble and much of that ensemble has been left in the 90s. Some of that makes sense – do we really need a Goodfellas parody or a Rainman one in 2023? Probably not. On the other hand, a character like Slappy Squirrel, who was basically a retired Golden Age character in the original show, could have worked in this show as well, but she wasn’t returned. Imagine if she had been updated to be a retired 90s toon? Or better yet, Slappy got older, but now Skippy was a 90s toon out of his era? At any rate, outside of some cameos basically the only characters brought back were the Warner siblings and Pinky and the Brain. There were a few new segments added, the most prominent being Starbox and Cindy, but that one was limited to only 5 segments across 36 episodes and was still the most frequent outside of the returning characters. Also not returning is series creator Tom Ruegger. No reason was given for it, it seems he just wasn’t asked to come back. I get the sense that Spielberg and others at the company viewed their involvement as the most important essentially slighting Ruegger in the process, be it intentionally or not. He was asked to contribute as a writer, but he turned it down claiming it felt like he was auditioning for the show he created.
Ruegger may not have come back, but the original voice cast did. Which was definitely the right move as it’s hard to imagine Yakko, Wakko, and Dot being voiced by anyone other than Rob Paulsen, Jess Harnell, and Tress MacNeille, respectively. Maurice LaMarche also returns as Brain. And I’m happy to say, that despite the 30 year lay-off, everyone sounds pretty damn great. Paulsen is a wonder as a voice actor as he’s seemingly ageless. I wasn’t surprised his Yakko sounded basically unchanged, but was floored by how he can still handle the manic Pinky with apparent ease. Harnell sounds largely the same as Wakko, while LaMarche will probably be able to execute his Orson Welles impersonation flawlessly from his deathbed. The only one who sounds different is MacNeille, but she also had the hardest task voicing the very high pitched Dot. She seems to play Dot with more of a low voice that’s closer to her natural speaking voice. Sometimes Dot would go low for emphasis in the original run, but she mostly stayed pretty high. Now, it’s more like the opposite and it’s most noticeable with the singing portions. I’m not blaming the actress for getting older or anything, it’s just something that’s likely to stand out for those who watched the show in the 90s.
These three at least came back basically unchanged.
The penultimate episode for the series is the one devoted to Christmas. Hulu originally ordered a batch of 26 episodes spread over two seasons which began airing in November of 2020. A second order was then placed for a 10 episode third season which is apparently the end for Animaniacs. A lot of these direct-to-streaming shows seem to include a Christmas episode, so I was a little surprised (and disappointed) when the first two seasons did not feature one, but at least we had the third season to pick us up. Though it did arrive in the unseasonable month of February meaning a lot of viewers have probably used this holiday season as an excuse to watch it for the first time or revisit it. The other two seasons dropped in November which would have made so much more sense. And one of them featured a Halloween episode after Halloween. Go figure.
The show begins with its version of the classic Animaniacs opening. The song is almost unchanged, but it was re-recorded by the voice actors for this one. Some lyrics have been altered, most notably Dot is no longer defined by cuteness but by her wit, they’re gender-balanced, pronoun neutral, and their careers have made comebacks! And in keeping with the holiday tradition, there’s snow falling over the opening and there’s some subtle chimes added as well. The animation is obviously no longer ink and paint, but what they created looks pretty good. This is probably as good as Animaniacs could possibly look in 2023, and the character designs are basically unchanged. They’re a little less rounded, the Warner faces are slightly off-white instead of pure white, and that’s pretty much it. For you kids reading this, these basically are your father’s Animaniacs. Credit goes to Titmouse, Inc. for making the show look as good as it does.
It’s tough to be a mouse.
After Dot discovers she’s getting “Socks a-gainy,” we go right from the title into the title card of the first segment: How the Brain Thieved Christmas. It’s obviously a Pinky and the Brain segment and basing the title off of the best Christmas special is definitely a promising start. We forego the usual Pinky and the Brain opening and jump straight into the plot. At Acme Labs, a holiday party is underway and all of the researchers are singing “Deck the Halls” and getting toasted on eggnog. The Brain is soon seen lurking behind the water cooler and he whips out a grappling hook and pulls himself towards the door to the lab and a sleeping security guard. The door is locked with a palm reader, and Brain has to struggle to lift the guard’s hand up to the scanner. When he realizes he can’t do so without assistance, he calls out “Who wants eggnog?” and the sleepy guard raises his hand in the affirmative allowing Brain to slap it on the palm reader granting him access to whatever is hidden inside.
This is going well. Too well…
As Brain enters a long corridor, we see another researcher show up in the background and promptly pass out. Clearly, by making this show direct-to-streaming it allowed them to bypass the usual censors that probably would not have allowed for such flagrant drunkenness to exist in a kid’s show. Brain makes his way to a pedestal containing some form of anti-matter that he desires. It’s basically a small, floating, ball of light and he apparently needs to extract it from its confines in a very delicate manner to avoid total annihilation. He plays it up for dramatic effect, but seals the ball in a jar with relative ease.
That Pinky, always fouling things up for The Brain!
As Brain stands and basks in his success, he ponders aloud why something hasn’t suddenly startled him to foil his plans as so often happens? On cue, Pinky emerges from basically out of no where singing very loudly his own version of “Deck the Halls,” “Check the stalls for hanky-panky. Narf-narf-narf-narf-narf, narf-narf-narf-poit!” Again, more stuff the Fox censors definitely wouldn’t have allowed. Pinky does indeed startle Brain with his singing thus causing him to drop his jar and spoil his plans for world conquest once again. Brain is understandable angry, but as he tries to articulate what Pinky has just done he fails to grasp at the words he’s looking for because Pinky (and the other lab denizens) have started singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas” which is essentially breaking Brain’s brain.
This meltdown by Brain should have probably happened long ago.
All of this leads Brain to the conclusion that Christmas is an obstacle for his ambition, and when he asks Pinky the question, “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” Pinky gets to come back with “Yes, but where I’m going to get you – FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!…in this economy?” Brain has to correct him and inform Pinky that he must thieve Christmas, and we have our plot. I was sort of wondering how stealing Christmas was going to factor into Brain’s larger goal of global domination, and now we have our answer. We’re basically taking a night off from the usual in order to setup another quest for conquest that will have to wait until Boxing Day, at the earliest.
According to Brain, these are the best Christmas toys of all time.
We next find Brain and Pinky back in their usual spot in the lab where Pinky is enjoying a thimble full of popcorn while Brain details his plan. In order to steal Christmas, Brain intends to create a toy so popular that it will end up under every Christmas tree. On Christmas Eve, he will activate the toys which will then steal all of the presents under the tree and bring them to he where they will be destroyed. The obstacle before them is how to create a toy of such popularity? Brain then decides he must examine the most popular toys of all time: the Slinky, Silly Putty, the yo-yo, hula hoop and the fidget spinner. As he runs them all down, he demonstrates their simplicity and most also harm him in some way in the process.
This is unlikely to end well for Brain.
Brain concludes that all of these toys share three things in common: they are simple, pointless, and incredibly irritating. I’m not sure I agree on the irritating thing as I can think of a lot of toys far more irritating than these, but we’ll go with it as it leads him to the next plot point. As Brain ponders what embodies those three attributes, Pinky continues to eat his popcorn but in a very loud, irritating, manner. As Brain paces back and forth trying to devise a toy that includes all of the features he identified, he grows more and more frustrated with Pinky before eventually shouting at him to chew with his mouth closed! Pinky then chokes, gags, and spits out the popcorn in his mouth all over Brain. Brain is about to blow a gasket when he has his eureka moment and declares that Pinky is by far the most simple, pointless, and irritating thing in all existence! Pinky thinks this is a compliment and Brain gets right into the design phase of his toy.
Pinky is one confident mouse, despite what he hears from Brain.
Now, I had mentioned this episode felt a bit like a sequel to A Pinky and the Brain Christmas and this is partly why. In that episode, Brain created a doll that looked like him that was supposed to hypnotize the world into viewing him as its leader. This time, Brain is creating a Pinky doll that he’s hoping will carry out his plan. We head into a bit of a musical number featuring Brain designing the toy. It’s a bit of a pseudo-montage as the characters are going to pause to speak and make jokes during this otherwise quick passage of time. Brain is first shown drawing the toy, but has to scold Pinky for posing too seductively. We’ll also see Brain working at a sewing machine, much like the Grinch did before him, but instead of catching Pinky’s tail in the device, he picks up a ratty looking garment and discovers that Pinky is chewing on his finished work. We also get to see Brain inspecting his handiwork, but he’s irate when he finds the Pinky doll he designed has the body of a world class body builder. Pinky was apparently in charge of inserting the stuffing and Brain demands he “De-swolify” the doll immediately causing Pinky to lament “Hot Mouse Summer ended before it even started.” Pinky has become quite the sexual being in this reboot of the show.
This show has always been willing to get meta.
Brain then moves onto the programming stage. He beams the program over a modem to the first doll and tests it by asking him the fateful question, “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” The doll returns with a “I think so, Brain, but perhaps try Javascript for my base code?” causing Brain to conclude, “Too smart.” He then makes a modification and the Pinky doll responds with, “I think so Brain, but if we evolved from monkeys how can there still be monkeys?” This is apparently too stupid and Brain gives it another try, “I think so, Brain, but didn’t we already do a Christmas-based plot in the Emmy Award-winning special A Pinky and the Brain Christmas?” Brain looks at the camera and concludes, “Too meta” following that one. And there’s the acknowledgement I needed.
At long last, the perfect plan to steal Christmas is upon us!
Frustrated and out of options, Brain unplugs the doll and does something he never expected to do: call for Pinky’s help. Pinky does as he’s told and we soon find him getting plugged into some sort of brain scanning device. Brain tells Pinky to prepare for a long, arduous, process as scanning a rodent’s brain can take months, but before he can even finish his sentence the computer beeps to indicate it’s done. Chalking that one up as a “freebie,” Brain uploads the scan of Pinky’s brain to the doll and asks it once again what he’s pondering. Both Pinky and the Pinky doll come back in unison with, “I think so, Brain, but if love is all we need then why do I still have to go to the bathroom?” Brain smiles a somewhat menacing grin and simply responds with “Yes, why indeed?” as he launches into a fit of maniacal laughter complete with lightning strikes in the background. Pinky then claims he “gets it” and starts laughing too and is soon joined by his duplicate. Brain can only stare dumbfounded so he unplugs the doll from the computer which shuts it down. Pinky looks at it a moment, then agrees that this is a good idea as Santa won’t come if they’re awake. He then wraps himself in the power cord and puts himself to sleep. Brain saunters over and declares they have a Christmas to thieve as he grabs Pinky by the snout and drags him off somewhere. We close with an iris shot of the deactivated doll ending part one of this two part story.
It’s not uncommon for a Christmas show to feature an extra long segment, but it is a bit uncommon to break it up with an intermission.
The show is going to take a break from the main plot with what could basically be described as an intermission. “Santamaniacs” is a lot like the Christmas special we looked at earlier this year. It’s a parody of A Visit from Saint Nicholas/‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and uses a narrator (Lesley Nicol) who informs us it’s the day before Christmas at the WB lot. Everyone is working because the company slashed vacation days in a bid to raise productivity. There’s not much to detail as the narrator admits it’s all boring, so we pivot to see what’s going on in the Warner Tower. There we find the Warner siblings all a snooze in their bed…at quarter past 1 in the afternoon. Yakko interrupts the narrator to explain that they’re trying to sleep as much as possible so that Christmas Day arrives faster. The narrator offers to whisper to accommodate their sleeping and Dot pops up to indicate that’s fine as long as she doesn’t get “too ASMR” with it.
Wakko sleeping with a slice of pizza is a life goal for me.
The clock then moves faster to indicate the rapid passage of time and we find the Warners waking up at the dark and early time of 2:23 AM. They spring from their beds to find…nothing under the tree. Wakko is confused as he confesses they’ve been naughty before and always got presents. Yakko adds they’ve been exceptionally less naughty of late due to the disappearance of Hello Nurse and Minerva Mink. He holds up 8x10s of both for emphasis (they weren’t brought back for this series). Dot grabs the pictures and crumples them up indicating she knows what they must do now. Wakko tries to finish her thought by suggesting they need to learn that the true meaning of Christmas isn’t presents, but love, generosity, and good will to all. Yakko and Dot stare at each other a moment with confused expressions before all three Warner siblings collapse in a fit of laughter indicating that Wakko’s suggestion is preposterous and meant as a joke. Dot then decides to get serious and informs her brothers that they’re going to go annoy Santa until he gives them presents.
No toys under your tree? Thankfully, the Warners are on it!
Stuffing themselves into an envelope, the Warners mail themselves to the North Pole with tremendous speed and arrive at Santa’s work shop. There they find a mailbox overflowing with letters that are apparently being ignored. They knock on the door of the home and a gruff voice inside tells them to go away unless they’re the mailman with his reindeer wee-wee pads. Dot wonders what’s stuck up his chimney as the three peer in to investigate. There they find a Santa (John DiMaggio) that’s absolutely jacked and downing peppermint whey protein shakes to generic sounding heavy metal music. The room is being heated by burning Christmas letters, but as Santa sits down to read from an old man magazine, he soon finds himself accosted by the relentless Warner siblings.
That is not a body that eats nothing but milk and cookies.
They go through a “better not pout,” routine ending with Dot asking if he wants to tell them why he’s about to cry? He relents and tells them he’s basically depressed because for centuries he puts in all of this work, but gets nothing but complaints in return. He dumps a bag of letters on the Warners for emphasis as he rattles off some of the complaints he gets. When Dot points out they’re just the complaints of dumb, entitled, kids he responds with “That last one was from you!” He’s done, but when Wakko asks who is going to deliver all of those presents (an elf peeking from behind the door to the work shop proper closes it in a creepy sort of way) the big man just mutters “I don’t know. Why don’t you do it?”
He must go through lots of reindeer.
The Warners look at themselves for a second and then Yakko decides to use this opportunity to launch into a song. The premise of which is that without Santa’s magic they couldn’t possibly hope to accomplish what he does in a single night. Yakko, through song, points out how long it would take to travel around the world and points out they’d need to move at 12 miles per second which would obliterate the reindeer’s bodies in the process. As he sings, he loads Santa into a sleigh and they all fly as the lead reindeer’s nose catches fire. There’s only five reindeer, which is a damn shame.
Now that’s a body that eats mostly milk and cookies.
There’s a break in the song where Santa resumes sitting in his chair and tells the Warners that exploding reindeer is a risk he’s willing to take. We then get a callback to the wee-wee pad remark as Prancer is fixing to piss all over Santa’s tree and he has to jump up to stop him from doing so (I realize the reindeer are supposed to be female, but he was clearly about to pee like a male dog would). Wakko then takes over song duties from his brother and his portion of the song is focused on all of the milk and cookies they’d have to consume throughout the night. The end result of such a caloric intake would make them larger, and denser, than the sun and would destroy the Earth itself. That doesn’t seem possible since the milk, cookies, and the Warners have to exist at the same time to begin with and matter can neither be created nor destroyed, but I’m probably thinking about this too much.
I bet you didn’t expect to see these guys here.
Santa then concedes they may have a point, but he’s not allowed to come around just yet because Dot still has to sing her part! She hops on his lap and goes into her part which concerns trying to figure out which kids were naughty and which were nice. She concludes they would need to create a system of mass surveillance, but the load would be intense since 5 moms give birth per second in the world. She determines this whole thing would run afoul with the FBI and they’d likely wind-up with an elf version of Edward Snowden who would find asylum in Russia and the Warners would land in prison making their conclusion “We could try to do it Santa, but we’re not the NSA!” It ends with the Warners now in festive Christmas attire singing in front of a massive Christmas tree with dancing elves, presents, and agents in reindeer costumes.
They do like their big musical numbers.
The top of the tree opens up and presents start blasting out which land all around Santa standing in front of the remnants of his home. Apparently, the events of the song destroyed it at some point. Santa then asks the Warners if he agrees to deliver the presents will the three of them shut up? Yakko offers no promises, then adds they need a ride home. Santa pulls a lever causing a large pedestal to arise from the ground with his sleigh atop it. The Warners cheer and run for it as Santa drags behind them. The narrator returns to wrap the story up and in the process lets us know (through rhyme) that Prancer still needs to pee. They take to the sky and we get ourselves a Santa moon shot while an “S” searchlight shines overhead. The narrator sets Santa up for the fateful closing line of the poem, but he goes off-script with a “Happy Christmas to all and will you three stop singing?!”
Pinky loves himself some Pinky. Brain should probably give them space.
Thus ends “Santamaniacs” returning us to “How the Brain Thieved Christmas.” A massive assembly line is underway assembling Poity Pinky dolls for consumption. Pinky tries to convince Brain to let him keep one for himself, but Brain just takes the box from Pinky and chucks it down a chute while the doll, and rat, declare they’ll never forget “me.” This cuts to a news broadcast and it would appear that Brain did succeed in creating a toy that everyone wants. And it’s in such demand that the reporter (Kimberly Brooks) on TV gets jumped because she happens to be holding one of the dolls.
Brain is very Mr. Burns-like in some of these shots.
Brain is mighty pleased at what’s unfolding. He goes into his own rendition of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, which feels a bit redundant after the last segment if I’m being honest. His version is just to setup the realization that 122 million of his inventions are stirring this night ready for action. He holds a remote control to the heavens and sends out the signal, presumably to the other side of the world where Christmas has already settled under the tree. The dolls rise out of their boxes like zombies and begin stealing everything in sight to the sound of “Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairy.” One doll is spotted by a toddler, a very poor one it would seem since her tree makes Charlie Brown’s look nice, and when she asks “Santa?” it almost ruins the whole thing as the doll starts looking for the jolly, old, elf, but another blast from the remote and it resumes its mission.
The plan is working, but something has to go wrong, right?
A whole army of dolls are marching on ACME Labs and Brain is looking on with glee. He gets to parody the Grinch now with, “All those fools soundly slept while their gifts, I retrieved. Hark, Pinky! They’re about to learn Christmas is thieved!” He looks at his partner rather smugly and waits for the reception. You can probably guess how this is going to go. At a nearby tree, not unlike the one erected in Who-Ville, a little girl approaches. To the cries of people (Kari Wahlgren, Danny Jacobs) realizing Christmas was stolen, the girl begins to sing “Silent Night.” Pinky declares this to be his favorite carol while Brain looks on curiously. He opines that this could be bad if it leads to some anti-commercialism sing-a-long, but the shouts of others witnessing this act of “It’s choir or bust for me,” gives Brain some confidence that this will go no where. Of course, then the girl is joined by another – Pinky!
Brain should have foreseen this problem, it’s exactly what foiled the Grinch!
With both Pinky and the girl singing, Brain looks a bit concerned. Then he spies the Poity Pinky dolls returning and a smile spreads across his face. With the dolls there to destroy what has been thieved the singing will be rendered moot. As the dolls approach a burning furnace, they hear the singing, and since they’re all copies of Pinky, they can’t resist. Despite the protests of The Brain, the dolls all stop what they’re doing and run to join in on the sing-a-long. All Brain can do is watch as soon other people join in. His attempt at thieving Christmas went as well for him as it did for the green guy. “I stole all of their presents. I robbed them of cheer! I ruined the happiest day of the year! But now thanks to Pinky’s pig-ignorant brain, they’re caroling louder, and Christmas still came!”
I feel like we’ve been here before.
Brain starts angrily disposing of the gifts himself. As he does, he makes mention of the name on the gift and basically taunts the poor kid as he burns their desires away. He then gets to one that is to “The Brain.” Brain pauses and mutters it’s probably another mug with Pinky’s face on it, but his curiosity gets the best of him and he opens it up. It’s not, and instead Brain is shocked to find a perfectly stable particle of antimatter, the very same he destroyed at the beginning of the story. It’s a gesture that moves the mouse to tears.
Ah yes, even Brain is not impervious to the Christmas Spirit.
As the song outside builds to a climax, Brain approaches. Pinky encourages him to “Bring us home, Brain!” He seems a bit reluctant for a moment, but then belts out “Sleep in heavenly peace!” much to the delight of Pinky. The rest of the crowd seems confused, but then cheer alongside Pinky and we get a quick glimpse at a swole Pointy Pinky doll that apparently made it through production. This story isn’t over yet though as Brain needs to do as the Grinch and give back all of the presents. He pulls out his remote and activates it. A rumbling can be heard, and then a massive, robot, sleigh bursts through the walls of ACME Labs overflowing with presents. Little robot arms pop out and start tossing presents to the onlookers, some more forceful than necessary, causing Pinky to declare this the best Christmas ever! He credits that to Brain, but Brain corrects him and says it’s thanks to Pinky. As Pinky embraces Brain, it’s time for him to get his present. A taped-up box drops from the sleigh and Pinky approaches it with nervous energy. He unwraps it to find – what else? – his very own Poity Pinky doll!
Well, Brain, better luck next year.
Brain then decides to share what he’s learned this Christmas, but as he does we see the sleigh has gone haywire and people are running from it screaming. Brain starts to tell Pinky that he’s shared something with him, but the doll he just gifted Pinky bursts from the box and interrupts him causing him to drop his container of antimatter. It shatters upon the ground and is, once again, lost to Brain. The Pinky dolls all break out into song once again, and it’s the same version of “Deck the Halls” concerning hanky-panky in the bathroom. Brain looks positively dejected, but he turns it around quick. Declaring that it wouldn’t be the holidays without depression and feelings of hopelessness, he commands Pinky to return with him to the lab in preparation for tomorrow night. When Pinky and the dolls ask what they’re going to do tomorrow night, Brain responds, “The same thing we do every Boxing Day, Pinkies. Overdo it on the nog before it expires, and then try to take over the world!” Pinky and his buddy laugh as they skip along behind Brain while we get to see a legless doll crawling after them through the snow with “Happy Holidays” written in spent oil behind it.
Quite possibly the most unsettling “Happy Holidays” I’ve ever seen.
And so ends this episode of Animaniacs which is perhaps the last holiday episode any of these characters will be a part of. The third season ends with the following episode and as of right now there are no plans for a fourth. It’s likely this is the last of this version of Animaniacs and if another is to come about it’s probably far off and likely to be a true reboot with an all new cast and creative staff. And if that is the case, at least the original group had a nice send-off as the new version of the show was pretty good!
It’s Pinky. It’s Brain. It’s Christmas. It worked so well before that I’m not surprised to see them try it again.
As for this holiday episode, it’s fine, but lives in the shadow of A Pinky and the Brain Christmas. That is one of the best Christmas specials produced so it’s not like it’s a true negative for this one to not be as good. I was surprised at the similar plot though, but that was clearly intentional as a bit of an in-joke. I do think it was a mistake to have Brain once again find the Christmas spirit via a gift from Pinky. It just doesn’t land with any real emotional impact the second time around. I’m curious how it would play to someone who never saw the original special, but I’m guessing it still comes up a bit short because it just isn’t setup in a sincere fashion. We know it’s coming because we’re watching a Grinch parody so there’s no surprise here, no gut punch, no feels.
This one does deliver a moon shot, though with only five reindeer.
That doesn’t mean the special is a failure, because it most certainly is not. Instead, this one succeeds as a comedy. Just a straight-forward satirical takedown of Christmas. It doesn’t quite set its fangs into the holiday, but it pokes fun at its expense. The middle segment starring the Warners is solid, but I did think the musical number felt flat. The idea was good, and the animation that accompanied it was entertaining, but the song itself lacked the usual polish the show is known for. It lacked a fun melody and as a result the actors felt like they were just reading off a piece of paper. Were the song’s lyrics too complex? Perhaps, but it’s not up to the show’s usual standards.
Pinky is terrific in this one. Hopefully he got that Hot Mouse Summer he was dreaming of.
It’s a relatively minor critique as the gags still functioned well in telling the story. I’m not sure why Santa was some buff dude as it appeared to be a gag that only existed to subvert expectations that didn’t add any layers. I did enjoy the more “adult” situations and jokes like Pinky’s song about sex in a bathroom stall, his desire to be seductive, and his affection for muscular mice. I guess I just really liked all of the Pinky stuff.
I hope all who read this are as happy on Christmas morning as Pinky.
This one may not be as good as A Pinky and the Brain Christmas, but it holds up very well compared to the other Animaniacs Christmas episodes. I’d even entertain an argument that it’s the best one. And if you want to check it out for yourself you can find it on Hulu. It’s also available for rent and purchase via other means if you don’t want to sign up for the service, it’s just too bad the older series isn’t still on there. And if you can’t tell, I think you should! Especially if you’ve ever considered yourself an Animaniacs fan.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
When it comes to doing these write-ups, I naturally trend towards older Christmas specials. The name of the blog is The Nostalgia Spot, after all, so it would only make sense for me to favor stuff that’s at least a decade old, if not more. The fact of the matter is, there’s really not enough…
2021 marked an important anniversary in animation: Shrek turned 20. The animated film from DreamWorks is credited as really helping to launch the company as a viable competitor to Disney’s Pixar. Prior to Shrek, DreamWorks had found success at the box office with Antz and Chicken Run, but Shrek was the first to really explode…
When I listed out the best Christmas specials over a week ago, I included the stop-motion A SpongeBob Christmas. And I stand by that as that special is pretty great. Before there was A SpongeBob Christmas, there was The SpongeBob Christmas Special. Confused? Well, there are only so many ways to title a Christmas special.…
Let’s try this one more time for 2023 – can we find a good Looney Tunes Christmas special? And more importantly, a good Bugs Bunny one? We’ve looked at two already that were merely okay. Nothing terrible, but hardly holiday classics. For our final go at this, I’m feeling a little more optimistic and that’s because we’re jumping to the world of Looney Tunes Cartoons. Looney Tunes Cartoons resulted from a meeting between Uncle Grandpa creator Pete Browngardt and Warner Bros. for an unrelated project. That meeting with Warner Bros. apparently didn’t go all that well as Browngardt wasn’t interested in whatever project Warner was selling. Audrey Diehl, the executive leading the meeting, apparently wanted to try to salvage something from it and asked Browngardt if there was a project that might interest him and I bet you can guess what his response was. Looney Tunes Cartoons was born out of that meeting in 2017 and Browngardt was put in charge of basically bringing back the classic characters in a format befitting them. He would team-up with artist Jim Soper and many other talented writers, artists and voice actors to create the show which finally premiered in 2020 on HBO Max.
The timing of the premiere kind of sucked some of the wind from the sails of Looney Tunes Cartoons. Not because the show was poorly received, but because it came during the great lockdown that was brought on by COVID-19. Locking the cartoons behind the HBO paywall also didn’t help matters and despite myself being pretty plugged into the world of animation, I didn’t see much of these new shorts until the next year. At that point, Cartoon Network had begun airing the first season as a means of promoting Space Jam: A New Legacy. If you want kids to go see a new movie based on the Looney Tunes characters it pays to make them accessible to today’s kids. When those episodes did land, I watched them with my kids and we all pretty much enjoyed them. Eric Bauza is probably the best Bugs Bunny since Mel Blanc and the characters both look and feel like Looney Tunes. They’re certainly different from the golden age and no one would look at one of these and mistake it for a classic short, but they can exist alongside it. My kids have also been raised on this stuff so that helped, and there was a period of time in my house where the new cartoons were preferred to the originals (that has since passed).
Part of that first season, but exclusive to HBO Max, is the show’s lone Christmas special titled Bugs Bunny’s 24-Carrot Holiday Special. It uses the star power of Bugs in its title, but it’s an ensemble piece like most television episodes of Looney Tunes with Bugs leading a segment alongside Porky, Daffy, Elmer, and others. A holiday special formatted for a half hour based on Looney Tunes is a bit concerning going in. These characters and shorts work best in quick hits, but as I said before, I’m cautiously optimistic going in as the shorts I’ve seen have been pretty good, but I’ve been burned before so I’m still going to keep my guard up.
A cozy holiday setting to set the mood.
The cartoon begins with a shot of the show’s logo covered in snow. The orchestra sounds like it’s warming up, and we smash to the classic WB shield, also covered with snow, and the familiar sting of “The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down.” An image of Bugs Bunny’s visage is shown like this is the start of a Bugs Bunny short, but it fades to be replaced by the title of the special over a warmly lit house like a classic holiday special of old. And orchestral version of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” has replaced the usual Looney Tunes fair and as the logo fades the camera starts to zoom in until we find ourselves inside this cozy home. It appears to be an actual set, though with modern CG I suppose it’s possible I’m being fooled. I’m thinking it’s probably a combination as there’s a lit fireplace that looks a little off so maybe that’s being CG generated while the set is real. There’s a picture of Bob Clampett on the far wall and opposite him is Mel Blanc. There’s a very full and well decorated Christmas tree and a narrator chimes in to set the mood. He muses on the tradition of decorating the Christmas tree as the camera finds a wooden ornament of Daffy and Porky dressed as elves. The ornament is titled “Santa’s Little Helpers” and it’s a hint at the short to come.
Looks like Santa is having some labor issues up north. We’re going to need some scabs to save this Christmas!
That short begins without a title card, but according to Wikipedia it’s called Elf Help. We’re at the North Pole, and an announcer informs us that not all is well up here. The elves are on strike, and Santa can’t make Christmas happen without them as we see him attempt to wrap a gift and it bursts into flames. This is a news broadcast we’re watching and we’re transported to the home of Porky Pig (Bob Bergen) and Daffy Duck (Bauza) as they react to this news. Daffy is horrified at the thought that Christmas might be cancelled this year since he won’t be receiving any presents! His design is a noodlelike bowling pin and he’s more in-line with the Clampett Daffy personality wise, though his selfishness is a bit more from the Chuck Jones mold. Daffy is worried that he and Porky won’t be getting their usual delivery of Christmas coal, as he opens a closet to reveal a whole bunch of the stuff. He loves it though as it keeps their house warm and Porky seems to be of the same mind. Daffy then proposes that he and Porky head up there and help Santa turn things around. Porky wants nothing to do with crossing a picket line, but Daffy has no shame. And it also doesn’t take much convincing on his part to get Porky to agree to go and save Christmas.
And apparently these are just the scabs for the job.
We return to the North Pole and find a family of penguins just hanging around. The little penguin is basically the same character model as the penguin from the Bugs Bunny short Frigid Hare (he’s apparently named Playboy Penguin). An elevator comes shooting up out of the ice and dispatches the penguin family – just what are penguins doing at the North Pole anyway? Daffy and Porky emerge to “Jingle Bells” from the elevator. Daffy is full of enthusiasm while Porky is freezing. He probably should have put something on since he’s just wearing his blazer and bowtie. Daffy soon spies the striking elves and decides to show them a strike of his own. Gathering up his friend into a bowl, he hurls Porky towards the elves who get knocked out of the way with relative ease. Porky smashes through a window and gets lodged in something gray and squishy.
Santa is apparently a traditional, inept, corporate overlord.
It’s Santa! Daffy comes running in to find the big man miserable and his face covered in cookie crumbs. He’s in his long underwear and seems to be pretty deflated over this whole strike thing. When Daffy asks him where his usual jolly-ness went, Santa (Fred Tatasciore) confirms it died when his elves went on strike. Daffy tells him not to worry as he and Porky are here to help him get ready for Christmas. Santa somewhat sarcastically asks if they’re going to make all of the presents for Christmas and Daffy confirms that’s the intent. Santa then surprisingly jumps up and seems okay with this! He decides they’re the Christmas miracle he was waiting for, and he belly bumps them across the room to smash into the wall and slide down through some elf outfits hanging on said wall.
Looks like they’ve got this covered.
We cut to the two dressed in their elf attire almost giddily building toys. It’s set to a very cheery rendition of “Deck the Halls” and as the boys work on their toys Santa comes into view. He starts laughing almost hysterically until they ask what’s so funny? Santa then gestures to the toys they’re building, which include a wooden duck and other traditional trinkets, and tells them kids don’t want that crap anymore. What they want is high-tech video games! He slams a console down in front of the two that’s like a hodgepodge of an X-Box and a Super Nintendo which makes some futuristic type noises. He then ushers them along into the room where those are to be assembled: it’s a dark, windowless, cold room with posters on the wall of “Santa is Always Watching” that portray the jolly fat man more like the dreaded overlord the elves are protesting against. He encourages Porky and Daffy to have fun with it as he urges them in, but adds in a threatening voice, “Or else!”
Maybe I spoke a little too soon?
With the door slammed shut behind them, Porky and Daffy are left to figure out how to construct a game console. Porky is basically freaking out as he views this task as an impossible one. Because he is a good-natured ham, he’s actually worried about letting Santa down when I’m starting to think he isn’t deserving of any sympathy. He walks into a bookcase and a bunch of books fall out on top of him. Daffy tells him to cheer up as he picks up just the book they need: A Total Nincompoop’s Guide to Building a Video Game System. Daffy hands the book to Porky and instructs him to read while he makes adding the obviously fateful line of “This video game stuff can’t be that complex!” Porky starts reading off instructions while Daffy sets himself up at a conveyor belt. The camera focuses on a classic cat clock, only this one is dressed like Santa with a candy cane tail. I kind of love it and want one. Also of note, the calendar in the background suggests that the present date is December 3, which just so happens to be the day this went live on HBO Max. We hear Porky read out the instruction number as he stammers along finally reaching step one-thousand two-hundred seventy-six, which is basically final assembly. When he looks up from the book, he just sees Daffy with a pile of unrelated junk that he’s covering in glue.
Boy, that sure looks painful.
Porky is ready to freak out as this monstrosity does not resemble a game system in the slightest. It even features tentacles and what appears to be a giraffe’s knee. Daffy tells him to calm down and yanks on a pull chain which triggers a hydraulic press that smashes the two into each other with the…game console…in between them. The resulting collision reduces Porky and Daffy to a paper like consistency as they float to the floor, but it surprisingly turns Daffy’s stuff into something! Daffy declares they’ve done it, and at first we get a shot of an actual game console. Porky then adds it looks more like a killer robot to him and as the camera zooms out it’s hard to find fault with the pig’s assessment. The game console is on top of what is otherwise an intimidating machine. It’s boxy, purple, and on tank treads with spikes sticking out of it. It is indeed a killer robot as it reaches out an arm to grab Daffy while uttering “Destroy! Destroy!” Porky winds up getting smacked by the robot (wielding Daffy like a club) onto a conveyor belt and when he realizes he’s not moving as he runs he lets out this hilarious scream that sounds so convincing. It’s clear the pig thinks he’s about to bite the big one. The robot lifts Daffy and aims the duck’s rear at Porky. Cocking the duck like a shotgun, it then makes Daffy start firing eggs at Porky from Daffy’s…well, you can probably figure that part out for yourself.
He apparently had no built-in defense for a duck wielding a pig like a bowling ball. So long, killer robot!
The robot tosses the spent duck after assaulting Porky and closes in for the would-be kill. Porky begs the robot to spare them, which triggers an idea in Daffy’s brain. It’s either a callback to how he dealt with the elves, or just a repetitive gag, but Daffy declares “Why settle for a spare when you can have a strike?” and scoops up Porky once again and rolls him like a bowling ball at the robot. The robot was readying a bunch of missiles to kill the pair, but once struck by the Porky bowling ball they get deflected into the air above the robot. As they crest and begin their descent, the robot meekly pulls out a cocktail umbrella to shield itself which obviously results in a rather large explosion.
The sticking point for them was apparently their dental plan…dental plan…dental plan…
The rumble wakes up a napping Santa who heads to the factory to investigate. When he gets there, we find the robot has been destroyed, but the actual game console that was a part of its head has been left intact! Daffy presents it to Santa who seems rather impressed. He suggests they test it out and when he presses the power button on the device it, well, explodes. The explosion does nothing to Daffy and Porky, but Santa looks rather worse for ware. His face was nearly blown off and he’s covered in soot and as he fumes over the explosion he just keeps repeating “Why I oughta…” as he inches in ever closer to Daffy and Porky. Only after the third one, he returns to his usual demeanor and finishes his thought with “I oughta hire those elves back!” It’s very reminiscent of the gag where Ren of The Ren & Stimpy Show threatens Stimpy and Sven (“I gotta take a whiz!”), which was almost certainly referencing something from Looney Tunes that I’m not recalling off the top of my head.
There are some terrific screams in this cartoon. My hat is off to Eric Bauza and Bob Bergen.
Santa heads outside, and rather coyly, restarts the bargaining process with his striking elves. He ends it by offering a 20% raise if they return to work, but the apparent union leader just gestures for him to come up higher. Santa them grumbles and adds, “Plus dental,” and the elves all cry out with glee revealing mouths full of horrendous teeth. With the elves back to work, it would seem Christmas is saved which prompts Daffy to mosey on over to Santa and suggest that he and Porky deserve a present for kind of, sort of, saving Christmas. Santa agrees and hands the duck a gift. Daffy removes the top to find a game console and Porky seems delighted with the gift. The console then lifts up to reveal the killer robot the pair had crafted and both characters utter some terrific screams in horror. They run right through the wall and the robot chases after them and the cartoon ends with the pair racing over the snow-covered hills of the North Pole with the killer robot hot on their heels.
Taz just wants to spread holiday cheer in the old-fashioned way, but the world is apparently against him.
Our next segment stars Taz (Fred Tatasciore), everyone’s favorite ever hungry creature from down under. It’s a bit where Taz is out caroling, but something keeps interrupting him or otherwise causes him to flub what he’s doing. We start with an interior shot of a front door and the sound of someone knocking. The door opens and we see Taz with his book of carols in hand and a Santa hat on his head. He informs us that he’s going to sing a carol, but when he opens his mouth to sing we hear the cry of a cat. A surprised look crosses his face and he reaches down his throat to pull out a soaking wet orange kitty. Taz chuckles and remarks, “Cat got tongue,” and the owner of this dwelling slams the door in his face. The bit continues at different homes, but they all start the same way. At the next house, he tries to sing “Angels Heard on High” but the sound of police sirens keeps interrupting him until he eventually gets so mad that he destroys the police car. At the next house, he never even gets to his song as he’s enraptured with ringing the doorbell. The following house sees him disappointed in the handheld bell he brought with him for “Jingle Bells,” so he blows a raspberry at it and takes off only to return with a giant church bell which the occupant of the home apparently wants nothing to do with. The next door opens to reveal a trio of kids singing “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” and they sound lovely. Then Taz sees them, and viewing them as threats, chases them off. He returns with a scarf hanging out of his mouth that he sucks up like a string of spaghetti. I’m guessing he ate those kids. The door slams shut and the occupant locks all of the locks on it. Taz then peers through the mail slot and says “Taz know you’re still in there,” so the guy nails a 2×4 over the slot. The next house finds Taz looking grumpy, but he whips out his book and goes into a warm-up routine. When he finally starts singing, it’s the closing part of “Silent Night” and he has the voice of a woman who is an accomplished singer. The position of the camera then finally changes to an angled shot and we see the occupant of the house is Granny (Candi Milo). She just says “What?” and asks him to speak up as she pulls out one of those old-fashioned horns for hearing. Poor Taz looks utterly defeated.
Sylvester will experience much pain in this one, as he should.
We return to the Christmas tree and the narrator which started this whole thing. There’s an egg-shaped Taz ornament on the tree and we pan to one featuring Sylvester and Tweety in a shopping cart. The image dissolves onto a department store being ravaged by shoppers. Granny and Tweety (Bauza) come strolling up to take part in the big holiday sale and the pair have no trouble simply walking through the mob clogging the entrance. Emerging from a garbage can nearby is Sylvester (Jeff Bergman)who shares what he wants for Christmas – a delicious, yellow, bird. He has a much harder time getting through the mob as he first tries to push his way in, only for his arm to get sucked into it. He tries to run, but eventually his whole body gets sucked into the mob and flung through the store where he crashes into the hardware section and a circular saw splits him in two for a “Half Off” gag.
Where’s my Sylvester nutcracker, Warner?!
Granny and Tweety are off shopping and Tweety pulls out a sock from a bin of clearance, left, socks. He wears it like a stocking hat and prompts Granny to check him out, who ignores him. Sylvester emerges from the bin of socks, but before he can grab Tweety a clerk puts a 90% off sign on the bin and a mob of people descend upon it. They clear out the entire bin leaving behind just Sylvester’s nose and eyes. Tweety then tosses his “hat” back, declaring it too big, and one last person snatches it up along with the remains of the cat. Tweety and Granny then head to the nutcracker section and Granny instructs Tweety to pick out a good one. Tweety hops onto the shelf and draws Granny’s attention to a big, ugly, one. It’s Sylvester in disguise, and Granny scoops him up and declares they need to put it to the test. Sylvester is sweating profusely as Granny shoves a handful of walnuts into his mouth. She then uses his tail like a lever and Sylvester tries to crack the nuts, but all he does is crack his teeth. Granny keeps tugging to no effect prompting Tweety to smash Sylvester in the head with a novelty candy cane. The nuts fall out of his mouth, along with the remains of his teeth. Granny then nervously tries to put the defective merchandise back without anyone noticing and urges Tweety to come look at the Christmas trees. Sylvester emerges from the shelf, and with a pan and dust broom, sweeps up his shattered teeth and dumps them back into his mouth. The clinking foley on his teeth is most unpleasant.
And for that matter, where’s my Sylvester Christmas tree?!
In the Christmas tree section, Granny and Tweety survey their options. Tweety notes the trees are rather skinny, but Granny demonstrates they work like umbrellas as she opens one. Tweety then poses on top of another pretending he’s a star, but above him Sylvester is waiting to strike. He sings the opening verse to “The Twelve Days of Christmas” substituting the partridge for a yellow canary. He dives at Tweety, but the little bird flutters away leaving Sylvester to land mouth first on the tree. It goes all the way to his tail and Tweety, seemingly totally aware that Sylvester is trying to get him, tells Granny he likes this tree declaring it funky. Granny regards the cat tree curiously and then opens it up. Sylvester becomes a full blown Christmas tree, but Granny thinks he looks a bit scraggly. Tweety just thinks they need to plug it in, so he does, and Sylvester gets a good jolt as his eyes and nose turn into Christmas lights which promptly explode to an instrumental rendition of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Sylvester with his face missing a nose is giving me my second The Ren & Stimpy Show impression of this special as his face has a very Stimpy-like appearance.
Sylvester always looks extra pathetic when naked.
We next find Granny and Tweety in the electronics section. Granny is occupied looking at the sales while Tweety is playing with a remote-controlled car. Sylvester, lurking behind a display television, tries to grab Tweety, but he moves out of the way just in the nick of time. Sylvester then picks up the TV and tiptoes after the bird using the television to keep himself hidden, only for the bit to repeat. After the third attempt, Sylvester turns the TV on to reveal himself looking quite angry before he turns it off. When he next places the TV down he has the misfortune of finding himself in a sale section with arrows and signs declaring the item is free. A mob descends upon Sylvester once more leaving him battered and furless. He remarks “It’s black and blue Friday,” before collapsing. We now cut to Sylvester in a wig tying some mistletoe to the end of a fishing rod. It would seem he’s going to give the old mistletoe routine a try as he casts the rod over a display where Tweety resides on the other side. The little bird looks up to see the flowers over his head and then Sylvester emerges in drag to point out the obvious. He declares that, by the laws of Christmas, they must kiss and as the cat puckers up Tweety concedes he doesn’t want to break the law. He also does not look at all thrilled about kissing Sylvester, but he closes his eyes and prepares to do just that, only for Sylvester to snap his jaw shut over him. Contented, Sylvester relaxes a little, until smoke starts escpaping from his mouth. He sticks out his tongue to find a lit menorah, and a cheerful canary wishing him a happy Hannukah.
Sylvester seems so touched by this gesture that I feel kind of bad for him that this will not end well.
Tweety hops down, but Sylvester is done playing around. He simply scoops the bird up in his hands apparently done with the little game they’re playing. As he tells Tweety what he’s about to do, Tweety informs the “puddy tat” that if he eats him then he won’t be able to give him his Christmas present. Sylvester is taken off-guard as Tweety produces the wrapped box. He takes the gift as tears well up in his eyes declaring that no one has ever given him a Christmas gift. He’s bathed in an angelic light and Tweety urges him to open it. Sylvester at first refuses for what would Santy Claus think of him? Tweety flirtatiously says “I won’t tell,” and that’s all the convincing Sylvester needs. He rips into the gift and pulls out a little catnip mouse. He says it’s what he’s always wanted and looks genuinely touched. As he gives it a squeak, the fur falls off revealing a stick of dynamite. Sylvester is then blown up and comes to rest on a pile of fruitcake in a fruitcake-like shape himself. Tweety sticks a sign designating the fruit cake as costing a mere fifty cents and the mob returns. Only this time they stop short, turn up their nose at the sight of fruitcake, and leave. This allows Tweety to do his customary mugging for the camera routine which has closed many a Tweety short previously. He declares that no one likes fruitcake, or puddy tats, and leaves us with a big, exaggerated, smile.
As was the case with Sylvester, much pain is ahead for Wile E. Coyote.
You may have expected this one to return to the Christmas tree, but we’re not ready to do that just yet. Instead, the iris shot which closes the preceding cartoon opens on a fairly familiar looking desert landscape. Only this time, it’s dotted with patchy snow. A trail of smoke ends with the familiar sight of a speeding road runner. He looks pretty much like the road runner of old, only with a more saturated blue tone. Nearby is the ever hungry Wile E. Coyote scoping out the road runner through a pair of binoculars. He also looks like the coyote of old, but with a floppy snout that adds a touch of ugliness to his design. He has a festive trap planned for his would-be dinner: a gift addressed to the road runner from Santa Claus. The gift is placed in the center of the road, and above it lurks a large boulder being supported by a small stick. It’s tied off with a red ribbon secured to a rock at ground level and when the road runner snatches his gift it should pull the stick free and cause the boulder to come crashing down upon him. How the coyote will consume the squashed remains is a problem for later. When the road runner comes upon the gift, the coyote braces for impact, which never comes. Instead, he looks to the road and sees another gift, this one addressed to him! He’s quite touched by the gesture and it’s hard not to feel like we just saw this exact same scenario play out with Sylvester a moment ago. It makes me think these were all produced independently. He cheerfully opens the present and inside is a stick. Not just any stick, mind you, but the stick that had been keeping the boulder at bay. It lurches forth and comes plummeting down to crush the coyote. It splits in half like an egg, and when the battered coyote emerges he too splits in half.
Who wouldn’t want that card on their fridge?
The next plot involves a phony Christmas picture photo booth. A sign beckons those who come upon it to come get their picture taken with a Christmas tree. We then see how this plan is supposed to unfold as the coyote opens a box for an ACME extra large mace. He puts the heavy, spiked, object on top of the tree and hits it with some yellow spray paint. He then consults his blueprints which shows that the road runner is supposed to stand on the “X” in the road and look at the camera while the coyote chops down the tree sending the mace onto him. The “meep meep” sound of the bird alerts the coyote to hide and as the road runner comes upon the trap, he falls for it! The coyote springs out from behind the tree with his axe and chops at the base. He does a pretty good job, but the tree does not fall. He kicks at it, pushes it, but to no avail as the road runner waits for the camera to go off. A few shoulder tackles finally gets the job done, but as the tree falls, the mace stays in place. It floats in the air a moment, and then falls on the coyote as the camera goes off and we’re treated to a Polaroid of the mangled mutt.
Since Santa and his reindeer are on the screen for a fraction of a second they must have felt like they could get away with only having four reindeer.
The next bit involves an ACME Santa’s Workshop kit. It’s basically a façade with a working door and behind it the coyote places a whole bunch of explosives. He then takes shelter behind a boulder where he keeps the detonator, a plunger styled device, and waits for his prey. The road runner comes upon the trap, looks it over a moment, then runs right through the door! The coyote pushes down on the detonator, and nothing happens. He does it a few times before he decides to investigate, but as he nears the door it swings open and out comes Santa Claus in his sleigh (pulled by only four reindeer – boo)! He leaves the coyote flattened, and the road runner is riding alongside him in the sleigh. As the coyote gets up and watches the two head out of sight, he regards the phony workshop curiously. He approaches with some trepidation, like he knows what’s likely to happen, and just before his hand touches the door it all explodes. The charred and angry coyote just looks at the camera and whips out a “Bah Humbug!” sign in defeat.
And now for the star of the show. Did they save the best for last?
Now, we return to the Christmas tree setting as we move away from a cactus ornament the narrator remarks the holidays are a time for sharing. The camera comes to rest on an ornament that reads “Love thy Neighbor” and the image dissolves to come upon the site of a mailbox beside a hole. This can only belong to one Bugs Bunny (Bauza), and we find the wabbit sitting by a roaring fireplace enjoying a nice cup of hot, carrot, tea. A large amount of snow comes down his chimney to blunt that fire, and when Bugs cries out another clump falls on him. He needs to investigate what’s going on and pops out of his hole as-if it were equipped with an elevator. This Bugs is the more streamlined Bugs as he appeared in his earliest cartoons. He also has yellow gloves, as the prototype Bugs featured, and I’m still torn on if I like the gloves or not. They’re a very pale yellow, but they still clash with the gray of his fur, but at least it’s different.
Elmer may have been forced to give up his shotgun, but otherwise little has changed between these two over the years.
The culprit for this snow storm is Bugs’ neighbor – Elmer Fudd (Bergman). Elmer has a pretty traditional design as well, but with perhaps a bit more exaggeration to his jowls. He’s shoveling his walk and tossing the snow wherever he pleases. Bugs approaches him and, rather politely, requests that he not do that. Elmer just declares it’s his home and he can do whatever he wants demonstrating that he is completely absent of reason. When Bugs, rather flirtatiously, reminds him that he should love thy neighbor he punctuates it with an “And I love you!” followed by a hug. Elmer tells him he hates him, and he hates his house too! He swats a lump of snow with his shovel like a baseball bat that takes out Bugs’ chimney. He then fires up a snowblower and blows the wabbit away. He follows that up by pounding the snow that is now over the rabbit hole, and while dusting himself off, declares that no one tells him what to do. This could quite literally be the hill that he dies on. Elmer then starts thinking about how he’s going to treat himself when he’s done clearing the snow. As he does, he’s oblivious to the snow rising beneath him as Bugs pushes it out of his hole. He tosses it, and Elmer, like a log and Elmer is still thinking about pie as he crashes into his own property. His head bursts out of the snow looking beat up and with some stylish snow hair!
Though I will say, Elmer just being a flat-out asshole in this one is a bit of a change for his character.
We then find Bugs trying to rebuild his shattered chimney, but he keeps getting hammered with more snow! It’s Elmer, who after getting dusted by the bunny needs to re-shovel his walkway and is tossing the snow back in Bugs’ direction. Bugs pops up behind him and casually asks him what he’s doing. He explains the situation, unaware that he’s talking to the wabbit that caused this mess. Bugs sympathizes with him, but then tosses in a casual reminder to mind those walkways this time of year as they can be mighty slippery. He then dumps a bucket of water on the surface Elmer is standing on which freezes instantly. He does a faceplant, and when he lifts his head up we see his face crack and shatter into pieces on the ground. Bugs then smashes him with a refrigerator for good measure.
Come on, Elmer! Usually, Bugs at least hides his ears to fool you, but here it’s like he’s not even trying!
Bugs then walks off thinking that problem is solved, but we still have several minutes left in this short which suggests it most certainly is not. He sings his own version of “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” to substitute in shoveling the walkway, until a snowball hits him in the back of the head knocking him over. It’s an enraged Elmer, and Bugs confronts him and warns him not to do something he’ll regret. Elmer responds in kind with more snowballs and Bugs just…takes it? He gets repeatedly pelted with snowballs as he cries out in pain before falling face first in the snow. Elmer gets a few more shots in apparently targeting the ass of Bugs. When the camera switches to focus on him, we see an old lady come rolling up in a wheelchair behind him. It’s obviously Bugs, but he lifts off his disguise momentarily to wink at the camera in case there was any doubt. He then shouts “Junior!” and it’s clear he’s playing Elmer’s mother. Convincingly, apparently, as Elmer is fooled. She reprimands him for not dressing in layers before slamming a ton of clothes on him. She then tells him to finish the job and bash that rabbit and hands him what looks like a skinny Christmas tree from the Tweety short. Only it’s the top of an actual tree that Bugs just bent over and when Elmer takes hold of it he lets go sending the man on a trip through the air. He crashes into a funeral home, which explodes on impact, leaving behind a somber looking grave complete with tombstone.
The wreath is one of the few hints of Christmas in this short and it even mysteriously vanishes from the door in the next shot.
We get a nice close-up on the headstone which reads “Here Lies Elmer Fudd, Loved by neighbors (not really)” and his date of birth is just 1940 and date of death 2020. The headstone then splits and an enraged Elmer emerges from behind it. He’s going to bash that wabbit, and his weapon of choice is a lead pipe (I guess found in the rubble of the funeral home?). He goes rushing off to seek his revenge, but is taken aback when he gets to his house and finds all of the snow is gone. There’s a nice wreath on his door and that along with the stocking on Bugs’ fireplace is about the only Christmas this short has. When Elmer approaches the house, Bugs shows up to say he’s responsible. He felt bad about how things had gone down, so he cleared all of the snow. Elmer is overjoyed and invites the rabbit in for tea, but in doing so also declares that he was in the right this whole time and is glad that Bugs came to see that. This might have been a wrong move, though it also seems like the trap was already laid, for when Elmer inquires what Bugs did with all of the snow he’s told it was put in a place that will make them both happy. Bugs opens the front door and a wall of snow is visible which basically explodes from the house, including the chimney! Bugs then walks away content with his work, but the mountain of snow that was Elmer’s house shudders and explodes leaving behind a monstrous snow plow and an angry, little, bald man behind the wheel.
Wait – he’s had this massive plow the whole time he was shoveling?!
Bugs then remarks “Too far?” as he runs for his life while Elmer drives after him, his face purple and red with rage. He chases Bugs to the edge of a cliff and as Bugs finds his back up against nothing but thin air, he uses cartoon magic to get out of the predicament by simply crawling along the underside of the cliff like a gecko or something. He emerges from behind the snow plow as Elmer waits to hear the scream of Bugs as he falls. And since he’s doing so, he’s not actually watching what he’s doing as Bugs encourages him to keep moving “a little further” until he finds himself suspended in midair. Once he realizes what he’s done, the plow falls and explodes upon impact on the ground below.
Silly Elmer, don’t you know the wabbit always wins?
There Bugs finds the unconscious, but still rather put together, Fudd. He resorts to the old painted glasses trick and paints a beach setting onto the lenses and puts them on Elmer’s face before he regains consciousness. Once he does, he’s soon convinced by Bugs that summer is here! He puts on his best green Speedo and sets himself up with a nice beach chair. As he settles in to enjoy some rays and reflects on his apparent victory over the wabbit, we smash cut to Elmer completely frozen like the end of Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Bugs emerges from behind him to declare that Elmer’s victory has been frozen in time. He then has a laugh at Elmer’s expense, who can only blink his eyes, and we return to the living room setting.
Bugs gets to do the honors of wishing us a happy holiday, which is fitting.
The narrator then attempts to wrap this thing up. And as he does, we see the arm of Bugs reach out from in front of a lounge chair to grab a carrot and milk. The camera changes to then show Bugs outright revealing that he is, in fact, our narrator. Before he can wish us a merry Christmas, he’s overtaken by a fit of coughing, which once over returns his voice to its natural sound. He waves at the camera and apologizes for his allergies, then ends with a “Thanks for stopping by and Happy Holidays!” Cue the “That’s all folks!” screen, sans Porky, and put a bow on it!
This edition of Looney Tunes Cartoons is, without question, the best half hour of holiday themed Looney Tunes content we’ve ever been graced with. It’s better than the other toons we’ve looked at this year, and probably better than Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales. It’s helped by having character designs that are pretty much classic interpretations of the characters with just a touch of added stylizing. The voice acting and sound design are both terrific, and the quality of the animation, while obviously digital, is pretty damn good for what it is. One could perhaps quibble with the length of this one as it’s three standard-length shorts with a pair of smaller segments used to break them up. And yet, I quite liked the bit with Taz trying to carol and the Road Runner segment was rather short and sweet. Of the meatier segments, I think the Daffy and Porky one was probably my favorite of the three. It had a conventional plot of two dim-witted characters chipping in on Christmas, but with the added subtext that this version of Santa is kind of a monster and the helpers are scabs. He’s more like an evil overlord, and while it made him rather unlikable, he at least did the right thing in the end. The Sylvester and Tweety short was fairly typical of the duo with the cat trying to capture the bird, but getting outwitted by him at every turn. It had some solid gags and I rather enjoyed seeing Sylvester as a Christmas tree, but man, I hate fruit cake jokes so it had a bit of a sour ending.
It really is almost..time…for Christmas!
The weak spot for me was the Bugs Bunny cartoon. Not because it was bad, it was actually quite entertaining, but because IT WASN’T A CHRISTMAS SHORT! This whole month I’ve been trying to find not just a good Looney Tunes Christmas special, but a good Bugs Bunny one too and in a way I’m still left wanting. The Bugs Bunny cartoon is basically a snow fight between him and Elmer and the only Christmas I noticed was the wreath on Elmer’s door and some decorations on Bugs’ fireplace. What a bummer. They could have just tossed Santa into the end or something and had him play a role in settling things, but maybe they didn’t want to since that’s how the Road Runner segment ended? Again, not a bad cartoon, just not really a Christmas one.
The wrap-around segments with the uncredited narrator added a little holiday charm, but it also felt a tad derivative. There was no gag, unless you count the Bugs reveal at the end which was hardly a shock, so it felt surprisingly earnest. It very much reminded me of the Mickey Mouse special Once Upon A Christmas and its sequel. It’s an easy way to make a Christmas special feel like a Christmas special so I don’t fault them for doing it, but just wish they did it better.
Even though I admittedly have one rather big problem with this Christmas special, I still think it’s deserving of a recommend. I could recommend the other Looney Tunes specials as a curiosity piece, but this one works as just good entertainment. Which is how I view the whole of Looney Tunes Cartoons. It’s a solid B+ show that’s keeping these characters alive outside of Space Jam, and for that I’m thankful. For now, this one appears to only be available on HBO/Warner’s Max platform, which is unfortunate. Maybe it will get a showing on Cartoon Network, but don’t count on it. It looks like it’s available for purchase digitally, and you may even be able to find it elsewhere. I think it’s worth checking out and there’s a bunch of other Christmas stuff on Max so a one-month subscription might be just the ticket for your holiday entertainment, though maybe not at this point since we’re nearing the end of the season. Hey, there’s always next year!
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
When it comes to The Christmas Spot, I have very few rules. I definitely favor animated Christmas specials, but that’s not some rule I’ve created for myself. The programs don’t have to be all ages, they don’t have to be “nice,” and they certainly don’t have to be any good as I’ve looked at an…
One of my favorite modern Christmas specials is the DuckTales episode “Last Christmas.” I feel like anytime I talk DuckTales I have to specify which era, though in this case I really shouldn’t since the original DuckTales never did a Christmas episode. To make up for that, the 2017 edition of the show did two…
During the late 80s Nintendo was on fire in the US. The Nintendo Entertainment System came storming into living rooms, basements, and dens across the country making Mario and Luigi household names. In addition to video games, there were tons of licensing deals for clothing, school supplies, bedding, you name it. If it could be…
No title card for this one, so here’s the title card for the show. Original air date December 12, 2016.
I realize we just did a Christmas post the other day set in a mall, but at least this one is actually set at Christmas! And we’re pivoting from Nicktoons to Disney toons (which surprisingly don’t have their own fun branding) with the short-lived cartoon Future-Worm! I’ll be honest, before doing this post I had never heard of this show. It ran for close to two years (one season plus five shorts) from August 2016 to May of 2018 and is the creation of Ryan Quincy. Quincy is probably best known for his work as an animation director on South Park, a Christmas Spot veteran itself, but has had a few opportunities to oversee his own work. Future-Worm! is an animated show about a boy named Danny (Andy Milonakis) who is something of a genius as he’s able to create a time machine out of an ordinary lunch box. That time machine gets sent into the future and returns with a worm, the titular Future-Worm (James Adomian), or Fyootch for short.
It’s a pretty wacky premise, but the 2010s are full of cartoons with pretty wacky premises, from what I’ve encountered. My initial impression upon just viewing the show was that it had a very Adult Swim appearance to it. And I suppose that makes sense since the animation was provided by Titmouse, which made a name for itself via many Adult Swim shows. Titmouse has since gone on to really broaden its portfolio and is one of the more respected names in animation today, but there’s no denying that they’re really good at that sort of minimalist, almost intentionally cheap look a lot of Adult Swim shows (and something like South Park) embody. There also appears to be some influence to the design of the show from Rick and Morty, which was fast becoming the latest breakout hit for Adult Swim when Future-Worm! was in development. Even the concept for the show sounds like it could have been a Rick and Morty episode.
Despite my unfamiliarity with the show, I’ll do my best to relay what’s happening in this holiday themed episode in which one of the protagonists becomes lost in the mall at Christmas time. It’s a solid premise, but it’s a bit of a surprise that the one getting lost is our main character’s father, Doug (Quincy), and not the child lead. What happens to a man who gets lost in the holiday scrum and trapped in the mall after hours? It’s time to find out!
You gotta be careful at the mall on “Holiday” Eve.
“Lost in the Mall” is the second segment of the episode we’re looking at. The first, “Future-Worm and the 54 days of Snordfest,” could also be described as a holiday episode. Rather than do both in one entry, I picked the more “Christmassy” episode of the two. If I need to fill a day down the road, I could always come back to it. This one begins with Doug declaring it’s “Holiday Eve,” and that this is a time for family, only he doesn’t get to finish his thought as he gets knocked over by patrons in the mall. It would seem the family is out at the mall for some last-minute Christmas shopping.
Apparently Mrs. Douglas (yes, the father’s name is Doug Douglas) is an inventor and toy maker.
Doug sees nothing but senseless violence all around, but the rest of the family is just going with it. Danny calls for his dad to help push through the crowd while Fyootch informs him he’s here for a last run on the holiday themed latte. When Doug suggests he himself makes a mean latte, Fyootch shoots him down. He’s a bit of a connoisseur. Megan (Melanie Lynskey), Danny’s mom and Doug’s wife, is actually there to see how well her product is selling: The action figure chair! She holds up a sign for the product and it would seem she made a chair that people are supposed to buy for their action figures. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I’d probably buy such a thing.
I’m guessing this vision has no chance of happening.
Doug expresses his desires to just have a nice holiday at home by the fire. We even get to see how he envisioned this unfolding and I’m assuming regular viewers of the show would find this idyllic scene to be implausible for the family. Doug seems down, and Danny is too because he’s afraid he’ll never get a copy of Lettuce Delivery 2, the apparent cool game of the season. Danny basically gets stuck in a loop thanks to his anxiety over missing out on the sequel to the greatest game of all time forcing Fyootch to slap him in the face with the end of his tail. Danny thanks his worm-buddy for snapping him out of it, then asks for his help. Fyootch uses his tongue to press a button on a device fastened to his tail that sort of looks like a smart watch, but with buttons. It apparently makes him grow in size as he goes from being a fairly normal-sized worm to one that’s more like the size of a dog.
Who is out here throwing cookies?!
Once embiggened, Fyootch calls out to the mob that someone is giving away free money. This, not surprisingly, causes a stampede as people rush to get some cash and we get to see what they had been crowding around before: the mall Santa shop. Mrs. Claus (Paget Brewster) has a pretty sour expression on her face when she sees her crowd disappear and I’m guessing that’s going to cause some problems. As Future-Worm laughs at the mob for running for free money (which he thinks is worthless), he gets pelted by gingerbread. More gingerbread comes raining down on the family and it’s being tossed by the elves from the Santa setup. Mrs. Claus is now on a megaphone as well announcing there’s free gingerbread which, despite Fyootch mocking the dessert as gross, turns the mob around. The family is forced to run for their lives, but Doug slips on a gingerbread man. He picks it up to regard it in a curious fashion, and then a little girl essentially sets the entire mob on him by claiming he has the last cookie. It sure seemed like those elves had a ton more, but these are mob rules and they don’t have to make sense.
Did he have a bad experience with gingerbread in the past? Or future?
We cut to Fyootch at the counter of a coffee bar. He cheerfully announces that he would like one, seasonal, latte, please. The barista (Charlyne Yi), somewhat aggressively, calls for a gingerbread latte which shocks Fyootch. He then looks around and sees people sucking down lattes and chomping on gingerbread men and he’s horrified. He falls off of the counter in shock and starts backing away towards the door wondering aloud how someone can drink bread. He bumps into a store display gingerbread man which causes him to cry out in fear as he makes a break for it. This worm really doesn’t like gingerbread.
The most efficient way to travel through a stampede.
At the store Toysasaurus Rex, Danny is back to freaking out because he can’t get through a crowd. His mother is beside him when an alarm goes off announcing that the mall is dangerously overcrowded and that all patrons must stampede to the nearest exit. This sets off the requested stampede which Doug finds himself in. A girl comes running at him with a sign reading “The End is Near” which causes him to stumble and crash into a store display coffin. Pretty weird for such a thing to still be hanging around at Christmas, but okay. Danny and his mom end up crowd-surfing atop the mob and it works out for them as we next see them at home looking exhausted. Megan is reclined in a chair when she pops up screaming “Doug!” I wonder how long they were home before they realized they left Doug behind?
Uh oh, Doug’s in trouble!
We go back to find Doug shoving open the coffin. It’s dark now and he’s in some, weird, goth, shop I guess. He questions if he died in the stampede and decides to call home just to make sure. Before he can complete his call though some shadowy figures emerge causing him to shriek, “Ghosts!” and drop his phone. We smash cut to the rest of the family literally smashing their way into the store. Megan seems uneasy about breaking and entering as she tries to assure herself the mall’s “Lost shopper insurance,” will cover the damage. Fyootch, who is still embiggened, wonders why Doug isn’t answering his phone, but Danny declares he implanted a tracking device in his father for just such an occasion (didn’t Peter Griffin claim to do this to Lois in a Family Guy Christmas special?) and his tracker shows that his father is in the security office for lost and found. Makes sense!
Doug may be in trouble, but how often do you get the chance to shop in an empty mall? Oh, right, that’s pretty much every mall these days.
Fyootch gets the line of the episode so far with, “Typical, Doug. Whole place to himself and he goes to hang out with mall cops.” Danny then brings up that the toy store is on the way to the lost and found and they could stop there. Megan is apparently in no hurry as she points out how her husband loves to rummage through lost and found sections. Fyootch also has no intention of going straight to Doug as he’s planning on fixing himself a proper latte – one with peppermint. I’m not a latte person myself, but in the war of peppermint vs gingerbread as a flavoring agent I’m going to have to side with the worm here.
Apparently, the goths are to blame. They all seem to be uncredited, but I’m guessing the main cast voice them.
We cut to Doug who is now tied to a chair in a dark room with wavy, red, lines on the floor that could be mistaken for blood at first glance which adds to the danger. We then see the face of his kidnapper – some goth dude, who asks Doug if he’s a spy because he has some kind of device in his neck. Doug is surprised to hear this, but then tells the guy it was just his kid who implanted the thing. He’s then shocked to find it gone, and then two other even creepier goths emerge from the shadows to inform him they pulled it out and stuck it in the lost and found. They’re not buying his story, but Doug explains he got left behind and expresses his desire for a nice, quiet, holiday at home and we get to see his idyllic image once again. He’s crying now, and a third person emerges from the shadows, this one dressed like a princess (Chelsea Peretti). She relates to Doug’s feelings of abandonment and unties him. She then adds that he can be of assistance to them with their “special mission,” which horrifies Doug for some reason.
So…do they guard all holidays? Or just this apparent Holiday?
At the toy store, the place is in ruins and all of the copies of Lettuce Delivery 2 have been picked clean. In fact, it would appear that everything in the store has sold out (or been stolen) except for a full rack of the action figure chair. Future-Worm comes slithering in with his latte to talk down to a dejected Megan declaring that no one needs chairs for their action figures. I beg to differ, worm. We then jump back to wherever Doug is being held as the goths are apparently ready to explain their plan to him. He’s told they just formed this group this morning because they like belonging and they like acronyms. He pulls down a sign that reads “G.O.T.H.S. – Guardians of the Holidays” to better illustrate his point. Doug, demonstrating that he’s a real square, reads it as “Go-ths” with a long “o” vowel, but no one corrects him. The goth dude just continues to explain their mission is to investigate “this,” and he holds up a flyer that reads “Join Us! Enjoy Us!” and it’s a man in a pile of gingerbread men. A gingerbread sun is also shining down upon him like some sort of religious experience. Honestly, it’s a flyer worth investigating. They feel that someone is trying to replace regular families with gingerbread ones and they want to fight for families because no one ever fought for them.
This must be so damaging for Doug. It would have been better for him to walk in on Megan and Future-Worm than see this!
The goth kid then concedes there’s a good chance they’re going to abandon their mission and just chill out and listen to music. These goths definitely are lacking in self-confidence as this isn’t a confession he’s proud to admit. They ask Doug if he’s willing to help, but Doug is clearly looking for a way out of this social setting. He theorizes that his family is likely worried about him, but the goths have a surprise. They show him the security feed which displays his family at the mall shopping. Doug can’t believe it, while the goths see this as a way to recruit him to their cause. They need a purist like him, and when Doug indicates he’s willing to help, they tell him he needs to first pass their test: by kicking his family out of the mall!
Well, looks like Doug entered his goth phase a little late in life.
Future-Worm, Danny, and Megan are strolling past the Santa area from the episode’s beginning. Fyootch pauses to regard a standee of a gingerbread man which he strikes down and taunts with the question “Are you bread? Or are you cookie, because you sure aren’t a man!” Danny tells his buddy to essentially knock it off as they need to find his dad, but it turns out his dad has found them. They all gasp when they turn to see Doug, now in full goth regalia. He definitely doesn’t look sure of himself while Megan asks if he pierced his nose. We then hear the voice of the princess girl announce that they sell clip-ons. She and the rest of the squad emerge from the shadows and the princess one adds a “Hi Megan. Thanks for saving my planet. P.S. I work at the mall now.” Apparently, they know each other as Megan refers to her as Ennuisha (see episode “The Forever Five”) and seems genuinely happy to see her again.
This is a fun little reunion. I guess?
Megan starts to go on a bit with her surprise reunion before essentially reminding herself that she’s both mad and confused at what’s going on. She demands an explanation from Doug who tells her that he’s joined their group. Fyootch has no interest in what’s going on and requests the keys to the car, but when Doug mentions the gingerbread conspiracy he’s suddenly all ears, assuming worms have ears. Megan doesn’t seem convinced and asks Doug if he got brainwashed by a secret society again? Doug has the rather childlike retort of “I didn’t get brainwashed! You did!” and goes on a rant about Christmas consumerism. Megan tries to defend herself by saying they rushed over to find him, but he throws the surveillance tape at them (figuratively) and they really have no response. Well, Future-Worm shoots back that he’d have gotten another latte if he knew this was going to take so long.
I think this may be the most frightening Mrs. Claus I’ve ever seen.
With that out in the open, Doug does as he was told to do and casts the family out of the mall. They hang their heads and slink off as Doug turns his back on them. The goth dude then tells him to snap out of it as they’re already gone and a voice chimes in to suggest they should have done the same! A lasso gets tossed from out of nowhere that binds the goths together. Then, they see their attacker: Mrs. Claus! And her elves! She offers up no initial explanation instead choosing to unleash a maniacal laugh revealing some sharp, scary-looking, teeth which Mrs. Claus isn’t typically known for. Then again, it might be hard to come by good dental up at the north pole, especially when you mock every elf that wants to become a dentist.
The elf deposited a nice load on Doug’s chest, there.
The rest of the family is shown walking through the parking lot with Danny asking his mom if they’re really going to have holiday morning without his dad? It’s at this point I’m realizing they’re avoiding the word Christmas – is that a Disney thing? I remember the Buzz Lightyear show did the same thing. Anyway, Megan refuses to do such a thing and vows to go back for Doug. Meanwhile, that very same Doug finds himself strapped to a conveyor belt while an elf piles up gingerbread batter on his chest which could be a subtle poop joke. Doug laments that his son is going to have a gingerbread man for a father and Mrs. Claus butts in to basically tell him, “Duh!” She wants to replace all families with gingerbread because families suck, or something, and this machine is going to achieve that. As Doug starts moving along, we see a hydraulic press is in his immediate future which I guess will merge him with the batter on his chest. Or it will just create some human-gingerbread mush.
I’m getting the sense there’s a lot about Megan I don’t know.
Lucky for Doug, he has one heroic wife. Megan cries out to him from the balcony and comes swinging in like Tarzan on some holiday garland. She gets in-between Doug and the press and literally holds it up. This woman is some kind of strong! Doug is understandably happy to be reunited with his wife as Danny comes rushing in to unplug the machine. He then decides to taunt Santa over his plans being foiled which is awfully sexist of him. Mrs. Claus is rather quick to point out that this whole plan is her idea and the Santa standing behind her is just three elves in a costume. Not just any elves, gingerbread elves and their skin basically melts into shapeless mounds of gingerbread which is pretty horrifying stuff. Mrs. Claus then tells the shocked family that it is she who made gingerbread the flavor of the season.
Well, that’s a bit unexpected.
She goes on and on about her efforts to advance gingerbread, but Danny casually interrupts to ask if she’s the Bread Baron? He then explains to the goth people that the Bread Baron is a nemesis of theirs and even refers them to the “Old Man Duck Head” video, which is a previous episode of the show. Mrs. Claus seems insulted he would think that she’s him and Danny is momentarily relieved, only for Mrs. Claus to declare that she’s really the Bread Baroness! She rips off her fleshy head to reveal a head that’s actually a gingerbread house which gets a laugh out of Fyootch. She then explains that her husband thought too small and didn’t think gingerbread was a real bread, which also explains why he left her for “a little French croissant.”
Aww, a little holiday magic.
She cackles that she doesn’t need her ex, or anyone, but is interrupted by Ennuisha who points out that she’s doing all of this just because her marriage deteriorated. She relates to the Baroness and apologizes for that happening to her. The Bread Baroness is caught off-guard by this showing of sympathy and tries to dismiss it, but seems genuinely touched. She soon finds her resolve though and vows to carry out her plan to replace families with gingerbread ones so that people can simply eat their families when they get sick of them. Doug then steps up to essentially say “Not today, Bread Baroness!” He explains that families are imperfect, but they still love each other and there’s no replacing one’s family. They all share a hug, and then Doug declares that “It’s time to break bread,” though not with much bravado.
I guess it was all a story.
A narrator then chimes in to tell us what happened next. Still images of the family beating down the gingerbread squad play before us as the episode basically decides to “Yadda yadda,” what should have been the best part. Some of the stills are amusing, like the family clotheslining the Baroness with a giant candy cane and the crew stomping some elves into mud. We’re then told that’s how the family saved the holidays as a book closes on it. It’s revealed that our narrator is an older version of Future-Worm who just finished reading a story to a really old, and sleeping, Danny. This is apparently some holiday tradition. He then wishes us a “Happy holidays,” to close it out.
That show really did feel like Rick and Morty for kids. Doug is such a Gerry character while Future-Worm himself embodies the selfishness of Rick with the genius of Rick going to Danny, who being a young boy, also embodies some Morty. It kind of works and I definitely didn’t hate what I just watched, but did I like it? I guess I’m not sure. I was definitely annoyed by the avoidance of the word Christmas. I’m not one of those “War on Christmas” types and I think when you’re out and about at this time of year and want to send some holiday wishes to a stranger “Happy Holidays” is the perfect way to do so. I just find it annoying when a television show is clearly celebrating Christmas, but goes out of its way to avoid saying the holiday’s name. It’s not a make or break thing, just a pet peeve.
The fight scene could have been something special, but instead we just got three still images.
This one positions itself as an offbeat Christmas holiday special and it’s out to make the viewer laugh. It’s just not particularly clever. I feel like anyone can come up with an outlandish premise like a time-traveling worm that speaks like Otto from The Simpsons. It’s just after that how do you make such a premise work? The plot with the goths just wasn’t particularly funny. It’s like they thought of the acronym first and then tried to make it fit, but the characters added nothing and it seemed to only exist for the sight gag of Doug in goth attire. I’m also not sure why the character of Ennuisha was brought back, but maybe this show just likes rewarding its viewers with callbacks for the sake of callbacks.
I will concede that the plot of gingerbread trying to replace humanity is pretty creative.
What did work for me was Future-Worm’s disdain for gingerbread. It feels a bit like a Seinfeld routine (“What is the deal with gingerbread? Is it a cookie or a bread?!”), but it works given the character’s preference for peppermint as his chosen holiday spice. I just wish the episode got more out of it. We get the scene at the coffee shop, then it’s reduced to just an occasional quip out of the character. I wanted to see him take charge against the enemies and truly vanquish the gingerbread squad. Instead, the episode wanted to put the focus on the family, which I get, but it’s also not exactly an original conclusion for a Christmas holiday episode. And then to just not even attempt to animate the action part was a cruel joke. Would the censors have not allowed for them to do it justice? If so, then okay, but otherwise that was a cheap cop-out.
All that being said, Future-Worm! isn’t a bad show from the little I’ve seen, it’s just flawed. And perhaps that’s why it wasn’t around for very long. I’ve never really encountered any praise for it online, nor have I encountered the opposite. It’s just a cable animated series for kids that came and went without much of an impact and television is loaded with many such programs in its history. The last remaining question is should you take the time to spend your Christmas holiday with Future-Worm!? I guess if you want to show your kids something a bit different it has some value. If you’re an adult and looking for something truly subversive, there’s better stuff out there.
Future-Worm! can currently be found streaming on Hulu for those in the US. For those outside of the US, check Disney+. It’s also available for purchase digitally.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
As we’ve maneuvered through the countdown for 2022 the theme of The Christmas Tape has stayed strong. And today, I am going down a rabbit hole because of that tape. If you read the first entry this year, you may recall I talked about a Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial that contained a contest for kids…
One of the franchises I have great admiration for is The Chipmunks, or Alvin and The Chipmunks. It’s been around since 1958 when Ross Bagdasarian Sr. came up with a novelty song called “The Witch Doctor.” Realizing he could make funny sounds by speeding up his voice, a tactic cartoon makers had been utilizing for…
After looking at what I considered to be a pretty good cartoon yesterday, I’m feeling like I need to take-in some trash today. It’s to the late 90s we go and the Bohbot/DiC Street Sharks spin-off Extreme Dinosaurs! Ah yes, everything was extreme around this time. Surge was packing the soft drinks aisle in stores,…
It’s been said that the 80s were pretty wild, and it’s not much of an exaggeration. At least where children’s media is concerned. After years of the government getting involved in what was okay to broadcast to children, the Reagan administration basically said “Eh, kids deserve to have everything and anything marketed towards them.” There were still some educational mandates placed on broadcast networks, but television producers were basically allowed to make glorified toy commercials that could pass as entertainment on their own. And apparently there just wasn’t enough kid’s content out there because toy producers turned to an unlikely source for inspiration: the R rated movie.
R rated films were suddenly on-brand to market to kids, boys mostly. Rambo got a TV show and the advertising blitz that came out of Terminator 2 at the toy aisle was inescapable. Perhaps the oddest of the bunch though was RoboCop. One look at RoboCop and it’s easy to see how that design could appeal to a kid. He’s a big cyborg with a giant sidearm housed in his leg. Since he’s a cop he can be marketed as a good guy and if one were to just make a cartoon about a robot cop for kids it’s not hard to imagine that working. The reality is that the Paul Verhoeven helmed film was a satirical takedown of the police state, consumerism, and a lot of the vices of the time present in 80s America. A show coming out of that which is just “The cops are your friends now here’s some toys” is about as far from the premise of the film as one could get, but it’s what we got.
RoboCop: Alpha Commando spanned 40 episodes airing in late 1998 and into 1999.
RoboCop premiered in the fall of 1988 and failed to make much of an impact. The show is more famous in animation circles for having its lone season cut from 13 episodes to 12 so that Marvel Productions could take that money and apply it to a pilot for an X-Men cartoon that would never get picked up. Interestingly, just a few years later the same executive producer of RoboCop, Margaret Loesch, would find herself overseeing the Fox Kids Network where she finally had enough pull to get an X-Men cartoon to television. Her chosen showrunner for that project was Eric Lewald who developed the show alongside Larry Houston and a host of others. As fate would have it, when Orion was looking to try RoboCop once again on the small screen in the late 90s, it was Eric alongside wife Julia who were tabbed to develop a new show. Larry Houston was once again on-hand, this time as a producer, and the end result would be RoboCop: Alpha Commando.
Alpha Commando is not a direct continuation of the old show or even the films, but it does sort of feel like one. It was a direct to syndication show and received an initial order of 40 episodes, which when paired with the 12 episodes of the first series, gets you to the magic number of 52 syndicated shows like to have. It takes place 10 years after RoboCop was originally created. Set in the far off time of 2030, RoboCop (David Sobolov) has been reawakened to deal with terrorists and save New Detroit City, America, the world? – once again. He has a new partner in Agent Nancy Miner (Akiko Morison) and the only character from the original movie is Sgt. Reed (Blu Mankuma). . I have zero memory of this show and I can only assume it was airing on cable. It definitely has a USA Network or Sci-Fi Channel vibe about it.
RoboCop is back with a new look and a new partner.
Was it wise to once again try and adapt RoboCop for animation? 1998 was certainly an odd time to try. The film franchise was dead following the poorly received RoboCop 3 in 1993. That film tried to bring the character more in-line with what Orion likely felt was a commercial entity as it was a PG-13 rated film instead of R. I certainly can’t speak for all children of 1993, but I know I wasn’t impressed in the rating moving from R to PG-13. That felt condescending and my kid brain rejected the PG-13 RoboCop. Plus, the movie sucked anyway. Come 1998, if you were 8-10 years old in 1993 then you were now 13-15 and likely aging out of cartoons. Just who was this show going to be for? It mostly feels like the last gasp of a fading franchise, one last shot at a big payday for the relatively small studio, and it doesn’t look like it worked out.
That doesn’t mean the show is bad. It very well might be, but I’ve honestly never watched a moment of it before now and I didn’t even know it existed. At the time, I probably came across it and was aware, but I obviously forgot and never sought it out. We’re here though which means it must have a Christmas episode. “Oh Tannenbaum Whoa Tannenbaum!” sounds like a bad Misfits song, but it’s also intriguing. Maybe not deservedly so as I can’t imagine this show is anything like the original film, but RoboCop setting its sights on Christmas has a lot of potential. Heck, lets see if at age 85 we can convince Paul Verhoeven to essentially come out of retirement and direct a real RoboCop Christmas special. I’d buy that for a dollar!
He’s got roller blades and tentacles and probably a bunch of other stuff now.
This episode of RoboCop: Alpha Commando resides almost right in the middle of the show’s run which means there’s probably some continuity at this point and the audience is expected to know who these characters are. I do not, but we’re going to do the best we can. The show begins with the caption that this is New Detroit City in the year 2030. We get some quick shots of RoboCop being constructed, or awakened, and some techno music from Carl Johnson starts to build. It’s a pretty rad intro, until the vocals come in. It’s just some layered voices chanting “ROBO-COP!” and it sounds so stupid. The visuals have also changed to show RoboCop in action. Apparently, a big metal dude with a gun isn’t cool enough so now he’s more like a bad ass Inspector Gadget. He has pop-out roller blades in his feet, net launchers in his forearms, and he can shoot out cables that wrap up his foes. We even get to see him stopping a train like Superman might. This is not your father’s RoboCop, folks.
RoboCop’s size is going to fluctuate quite a bit throughout the episode.
The episode begins high above the city as snow is falling. A robot floats onto the screen that resembles a fancy trashcan. It’s basically advertising itself as a kitchen aid and wants people to go buy one this Christmas. A blimp sails by with a video advertisement for perfume broadcasting from it and a robotic Santa with a lone reindeer crosses paths with the screen that contains a video message from one Giggles the Elf who wants people to buy him at Hunting Dorfs department store. If Hunting Dorfs is a play on an existing store it’s not landing for me (Bloomingdale’s?). It’s also possible this store is from one of the films, it’s been a while since I watched one. At street level, Agent Miner is stuck in traffic and quite angry about it. She’s pissed at all of the late shoppers clogging the streets, but her partner RoboCop is quick to point out that she’s in the same boat. RoboCop in this show is quite a deal larger than he is in the movie and looks rather absurd in a pedestrian vehicle. I don’t think he could be expected to fit in this thing. He’s also more of a dark gray in color than the steel look he had in the film and prior cartoon. I’m surprised they were able to resist calling this show RoboCop: Xtreme!
Don’t the holidays always bring out the best in people?
Inside the store, we hard cut to Sgt. Reed taking a purse to the face. A pair of older women are fighting over this Giggles the Elf doll. It’s an amusing sight as the doll is basically life-sized so the two women look like they’re playing tug-of-war with a rather short man in place of a rope. A store manager comes to help Sgt. Reed up off the floor as the purse was apparently swung by one of these women. He apologizes for the behavior of the guests as people are getting really upset and claiming that their items are being stolen. We see a group of people basically just bickering with each other and accusing each other of theft. Reed tries to put out the fire with a plea for Christmas spirit, but a rather large, angry, woman is having none of it. She lifts the rather large man off of his feet and throws him back into the other cops! Then the other patrons start wailing on them with all of their various items! This is nuts! If this were a scene in the original film, the cops would be jumping to their feet and blasting away at this mob, but this is a kid’s show. Before the scene ends, we see a bag laying on its side and a red-gloved hand sneaks into frame to snatch the contents of said bag. The hand clearly belongs to one of those elf dolls.
It’s time for RoboCop and Miner to get their special, holiday, assignment.
We switch locations with an exterior shot of the police headquarters. It looks like a giant, domed, stadium so I guess their budget is appropriately large. Sgt. Reed is sitting at his desk and rubbing the back of his head with an ice bag while RoboCop gives him a quick examination. The image is from his point of view and we get to see he’s X-raying the guy without any sort of protective equipment so he’s probably just blasting radiation out into that office. Reed has some superficial injuries to go along with his bruised dignity, as RoboCop puts it, and then the big guy prints out a bill for him. I bet he doesn’t pay it. Officer Miner then sets the plot up for us as she mentions all of the people Reed had arrested at the store were claiming to be victims of a robbery. How like the police to arrest the aggrieved? Reed says the security cameras turned up nothing, and I guess because we need a reminder of what the stakes are here, the giant woman from earlier barges in with cops draped all over her to scream about her rights and that those elf dolls were hers! The police are apparently too busy with crowd control, so Sgt. Reed has no choice but to ask Miner and Murphy to go undercover and catch these thieves. Yeah, you read that right, he wants the giant robot guy to go undercover.
Attention shoppers, please pay no attention to the unusually proportioned snowman in the center of the mall. Thank you.
RoboCop’s answer to such a request is to put on a snowman costume. I’ve seen worse ideas, though the proportions on this snowman are unlike any I have ever seen. He’s stationed inside the mall and some onlookers are understandably curious about this beefy looking snowman. Miner is nearby with an arm full of packages as she pretends to be a rich person without her trusty butler. It’s ridiculous, but apparently her plan works as her purse gets snatched. There’s an animation gaffe as the purse is still there when she tells her partner that they took the bait, then it vanishes. Mr. Frosty springs into action by ditching the costume and running after a beacon that was apparently in Miner’s bag. It’s now in the bag belonging to…grandma? Well, a little old lady, and RoboCop is pretty surprised when he picks her up off of her feet. A little elf then pops out of the bag and it’s that Giggles guy. He aims something at RoboCop that fires oil which lands on his trademarked red visor allowing him to make an escape with his elf buddies.
This doesn’t look like a fair fight.
You think a little oil to the eye is going to stop RoboCop? Hah! He just engages his go-go-gadget wipers and clears that stuff out in a flash! He runs after the elves which number five and manages to corner them in a dead end. It’s rather odd for a mall to feature such a thing, but I’ll allow it. RoboCop is a bit confused at what he’s seeing, but the elves (who are all identical) waste no time in attacking. They take to his ankles with torches and saws and start hacking away while RoboCop…just stands there? I’m getting angry as I watch this thinking RoboCop is about to just crumple into a pile of bolts, but he does start kicking them and tossing them away. They repeatedly smash into the wall and we get another animation error as six elves slam into the wall instead of five. Or, one got up, ran back at RoboCop offscreen, and got tossed a second time. RoboCop seems to think he’s got them, but Giggles here seems to think otherwise as he points out the crowd of onlookers. The group (many of which are reused models from the earlier scene of the cop beatdown and should probably be in jail right now) are all disgusted that RoboCop would attack Giggles like this, and I guess they’re trying to turn the public against RoboCop? The other elves then fall apart as they’re all robots and RoboCop is left holding the last, functional, one.
A lot of these images look pretty weird out of context.
RoboCop was evidently able to extricate himself from that sticky situation as we cut to the laboratory of Dr. Neumeier (Dean Haglund) who is examining the severed head of Giggles the Elf. He’s rather impressed with the tech on display and declares that whoever developed this thing is a genius while Miner thinks they’re a “nutbar.” RoboCop pops out that hand spike of his and connects to the computer system to analyze the head. He finds the security footage from the store there and it’s been edited to scrub out the crimes. Neumeier seems to find this impossible, but then the writer of the episode gets to self-congratulate themselves via Neumeier who sums up the situation with a “Who came up with this?” Sgt. Reed then contacts the group via video chat and he can be seen dodging flying presents as there’s more trouble down at Hunting Dorfs. He needs backup, so RoboCop and Miner depart to assist.
I think I’m supposed to know who this woman is.
As the pair exit the lab, they find a giant gift placed on the stoop just outside. The two seem confused, but Neumeier is psyched as no one ever gives him presents. He drags the heavy item inside as the other two leave. As he sits down to unwrap it he actually hopes aloud that it contains a massive fruit cake because we just had to get a fruit cake mention in here. It does not though and instead contains…a woman?! If you’re thinking something like the classic stripper in the cake bit, you would be mistaken as this woman is very clothed. She’s decked out in holiday attire and appears to be holding a pie. When she bursts out she cries “Newmy!” as the guy falls out of his chair in surprise. These two clearly have a history, but I can’t even tell what her name is. Charlotta?
Most guys are happy to have a horny Christmas woman emerge from a box, but maybe not when they’re homicidal.
After a quick break, we come back to the same scene and Charlotta (I’m reasonably confident that’s her name) is emerging from the remnants of the gift as Neumeier comes to. She asks where RoboCop is as she claims to have something for him, but realizing he’s not there she sets down her pie. Neumeier is apparently so shocked to see her because she’s been in prison for apparently trying to kill Neumeier and the others. They also have some kind of toxic relationship at play because Charlotta seems to like him and she’s also pretty horny after being in jail for what I assume was months. She says she got out for good behavior, but who can be sure? She points out that Neumeier apparently promised to wait for her and vows to make it worth his while. When he mentions the attempted murder, Charlotta responds with an unconvincing, “Oh Newmy! I wouldn’t hurt a fly!” as she strokes his cheek.
Sisters are doing it for themselves!
We’re apparently going to leave those two to their reunion and shift scenes at this point. We’re back at a department store and the place is in chaos. People are fighting, nuns are striking cops, and someone swiped a coat off of a mannequin that looks just like Daria’s friend Jane. Sgt. Reed informs RoboCop and Miner that the place is going crazy because the whole system is down and people can’t use their credit cards. I’ve been in stores when that happens and I can’t say I’ve ever seen a melee break out. The store manager is there to confirm the chaos. When the whole world conspires to keep consumers from consuming the whole thing falls apart. You know, I think I am getting a teeny bit of the original RoboCop‘s vibe in this show after all. And even more so when RoboCop asks who supplied those dolls and the manager confirms it was the same company that installed their security system. When Miner points out how bizarre that is, the manager agrees, but since the dolls were practically free and come with massive profit margins it was a risk worth taking. Spoken like a true capitalist!
Leave Rudolph alone!
Miner directs RoboCop’s attentiont to a store display Rudolph. The world’s most famous reindeer seems intent on watching the two. RoboCop does some sort of analysis thingy and determines the red, glowing, nose is actually a camera. Upon having that out in the open, Rudolph decides to flee. Miner can’t get off a clean shot, so RoboCop has to pursue declaring unenthusiastically that this is his new role: Destroyer of Christmas. I’m thinking we’re about to see these gnarly roller blades he’s got concealed in his feet, but RoboCop instead deploys his grappling hook from his arm to wrap the reindeer up. With the creature subdued, RoboCop is able to hogtie it (deertie?) and shove his fist-spike into an orifice on the creature’s side. The robo-deer doesn’t appear to like this and I feel like RoboCop has some consent issues, and this probably violates a whole bunch of laws too, but who knows what’s been passed in this new fascist state? RoboCop downloads a whole bunch of stuff and poor Rudolph seems rather worse for ware.
This is the part where Charlotta gets all “When Harry Met Sally” on us.
We return to Neumeier’s lab where we find the young scientist backpedaling pleading with Charlotta not to do something. And that something appears to be sex as the woman pursues the clumsy oaf imploring him not to think, but feel. He ends up against a wall and makes a quip about feeling some indigestion brought on by sauerkraut (gross), so his breath must reek. Charlotta tells him not to tease her, then says “You know what I want.” When Neumeier responds with an “I do?” she goes full-blown into fake orgasm mode with a “Yes. Yes! YES!” Before we can have just what she wants confirmed, a light from her box (no, not that one, the box she arrived in you perv) starts blinking and distracts her. She tells Neumeier that what she wants is a snack, maybe some hot cocoa, Lab boy runs off to fetch something for her which allows Charlotta to see what’s going on back in her box. There’s some device that’s basically a big answering machine and when she checks her messages we see a video of RoboCop sharing what he found inside Rudolph with the others. RoboCop has apparently uncovered a signal that will lead them to whoever is behind this prompting Miner to wonder aloud who would be sick enough to do this at Christmas?
I thought it was odd when she asked for a snack after already bringing a pie.
Charlotta, that’s who! She’s understandably pissed and says she knew those two would screw things up for her. Neumeier then returns with two cups of cocoa and Charlotta has to turn off the villainous talk and trade it for her cute voice. She’s aghast at the lack of marshmallows in her cocoa, which may be true, or its a ruse to get Neumeier to leave the room again. With him off looking for the gelatinous desert item, Charlotta pulls out a small vile of gray substance and pours it into Neumeier’s cup. He comes back to announce he’s all out and Charlotta indicates she’s fine with that and encourages him to drink up. A genius like Neumeier should probably see this encouragement for what it is, but he doesn’t and soon collapses into a puddle. Charlotta laughs at him calling him “Nerd-meier!” and then pulls out her pie once more revealing it’s actually a bomb.
These elves are creepy, but I still feel like the two with the guns have the upperhand here.
RoboCop and Miner are shown entering what looks like a warehouse. I assume this is where the Giggles dolls are made. Up on a catwalk is Charlotta and Neumeier who is semi-conscious and bound to a chair. She refers to the pair as a couple of Christmas turkeys in need of stuffing because, remember, she’s still super horny from being in prison. Neumeier sees the two and asks why they’re so tiny which allows RoboCop to tell that he’s been drugged. A bunch of Giggles dolls then surround the two and it’s time for a rumble!
Spoiler alert: she hates Christmas, though maybe not for the reason you would have expected.
Miner reminds Charlotta that this is where the villain speech goes, and the tactic works! Charlotta claims she’s knew to villainy and starts to inform the two of her plans while RoboCop indicates he’s recording the confession. It would seem that in 2030, online shopping has started to die off and this whole scheme was concocted by Charlotta, who is being paid by Big Internet, to make in-store buying a truly wretched experience thus driving people back to the online retailers. RoboCop gets to be the one to ask “Why?” and Charlotta’s response is probably what you’re expecting: she hates Christmas. She hates it because her last name is Tannenbaum and she’s sick of the jokes. She gets to be the one to say the episode’s title and remarks she hates how people will ask her “Can I play with your ornaments?” Is that a boob joke?
Damn, I know it’s a robot, but this is rather brutal. You can even see the fear in its lifeless eyes.
Now that the plan has been been revealed we can get to the violence. Charlotta, I guess, just walks away leaving her minions to attack RoboCop and Miner. They lay waste to the elf robots and these dome-headed robots that look like something out of Lost in Space. If seeing mechanical elf parts thrown around is unsettling, wait until you see RoboCop blast a robot snowman with a flame thrower! And then there’s the reindeer that shoot lasers out of their antlers, which RoboCop destroys with a grenade. It’s Miner who gets to make the remark about being glad her son isn’t here to witness this.
She’s definitely DTF with this guy, but right now she needs a hostage more than a boyfriend.
The robots have been dealt with, so now it’s just Charlotta. She apparently does care about Neumeier as she unties him and carries him to the roof. Or, she just needs a hostage. The cops pursue her as Neumeier comes to. Charlotta may like him, or may not, but she’s willing to dangle him over the edge of the roof in order to keep RoboCop and Miner at bay. Neumeier, not wanting to end up like a bowl of cranberry sauce, tries reasoning with Charlotta. He tells her that he understands what it’s like to be a super genius and have people not “get” you. He says he meant it when he told her that he’d wait for her, and even uses the “L” word. Charlotta starts sobbing and seems to be touched, but when Neumeier suggests she let him go she hardens to tell him that isn’t happening. Then, the kitchen robot from the very beginning of the episode emerges and the thing is huge! I did not get a sense for its scale at the time, but it’s like a spaceship. Charlotta tackles Neumeier into it, and the robot flies away.
I have to say I did not see this coming.
So that’s it? The bad girl gets away and is probably getting some action right now while RoboCop and Miner are forced to look on. Hah, of course not! RoboCop scans the skies and finds the Santa balloon from earlier and declares that they’re hitching a ride! Inside the kitchen robot, a delighted Charlotta is busy making plans for she and her beloved. They’re going to move to the suburbs, build a dog, and clone some kids. Neumeier doesn’t seem unhappy about this. They’re interrupted by a banging from above, and it’s the giant Santa balloon. This thing is also way bigger than I initially thought as RoboCop and Miner are standing on the sleigh’s bench. RoboCop is probably the size of one of of Santa’s fingers. He’s got his jack-in device inserted and he’s controlling the balloon and making it basically bounce off the top of Charlotta’s. She vows not to go down without a fight, and the hatchet arms of her ride start spinning. RoboCop demonstrates that he has a finger laser and he finger bangs the right arm off of the robot balloon, but isn’t able to do the same to the left before it penetrates the Santa balloon and the two begin to do as Charlotta said: go down.
I feel like these two should get a few minutes alone in a holding cell.
Back at Hunting Dorfs, the Giggles dolls are being marched away in handcuffs. Apparently robots have rights? How progressive! Sgt. Reed is standing by with the store manager who indicates he can’t take anymore this Christmas, his nerves are shot. Reed gets to say the fateful line of “It’s over,” when it most certainly is not. The two balloons come crashing through the glass ceiling creating an awful mess. Miner is the first to emerge from the wreckage completely unscathed and apologetic for what just happened to the man’s store. Reed asks where’s Murphy, and that’s RoboCop’s cue to emerge “Upholding the loving spirit of the holiday season.” That’s because Neumeier and Charlotta are basically seated on his palm in a passionate embrace. He sets the pair down and Charlotta seeks to confirm if her beloved will wait for her again. Neumeier just says he’ll email her every day and then goes in for a kiss. We’re denied actually seeing it as Miner tells RoboCop she needs to get out of there before she loses her lunch. RoboCop suggests she needs to get into the holiday spirit as the two walk out and she retorts with a “Don’t push it.” As they exit the building, the few items not completely destroyed in their wake fall apart and we roll credits.
An odd shot to end the episode on. I guess they have no interest in assisting with the cleanup.
That was…not bad? The opening for the episode made the show look rather silly and goofy, but once it got going there was way more RoboCop to be found than I ever expected. Consumers going nuts because they can’t buy stuff is a rather damning indictment of the holiday shopping season. A horned-up villain who wants to destroy Christmas because her name lends itself well to boob jokes? Impressively absurd. And the episode even seemed to make a point that the cops left the world in a worse state after catching the bad guy with that final shot of the crumbling store. The show was rated Y-7, but there was quite a bit of suggestive dialogue between Charlotta and Neumeier that would be way over a sever-year-old’s head and the action scenes make liberal use of the fact that the enemies are mostly mechanical. What other kid’s show is going to have its hero violate Rudolph and incinerate Frosty? That’s Robot Chicken type stuff, not Saturday morning.
The animation was a mixed bag. It was choppy and probably done on the cheap while the characters had fairly intricate designs and a semi-realistic approach to the art style. In that, it’s not unlike Lewald’s other show, X-Men, which was guilty of the same. The voice cast was pretty good, though this is one of those shows that doesn’t list out the roles of who does what. I know who the main cast is, but the secondary characters are a mystery. I think Charlotta was voiced by Elizabeth Carol Savenkoff as she’s the only other female listed, but the rest are unknown to me.
Santa Claus just toppling consumerism here, even though he’s responsible for a large portion of it.
Christmas-wise, we get plenty of background stuff. I’m glad there was no kid character to play to outside of the one girl upset with RoboCop for beating the shit out of Giggles. There was a subtle B plot about RoboCop being unhappy about taking down these Christmas themed bad guys like it was a burden of some kind, but it wasn’t really played up. There were some jokes written into the dialogue, but nothing particularly humorous. Instead the humor is situational and even a touch dark since I think we’re supposed to laugh at some of the violence inflicted upon Christmas. I suppose this was a bit of a tough episode to just jump into as my first one since there was obviously a history with Charlotta, but I didn’t find it to be much of a barrier.
If you enjoy blasting Christmas symbolism with a gun then this just may be the thing for you.
Is this episode of RoboCop: Alpha Commando getting a recommend from me this holiday season? I guess so. There was enough of a satirical element at play that I think it’s worth a look. Plus, it’s easy to find streaming for free so it’s not like it’s going to cost you anything. I am left a bit curious about the show as a whole where as before I was indifferent. I’ve always felt there’s only one good RoboCop anything, the first film, and the rest was trash, but maybe there is at least one exception to be made.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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In the 1980s, Nickelodeon didn’t have a lot of animated content. That’s probably surprising for today’s adolescents, but that’s how the network was in the old days. That was due in large part to the network first prioritizing educational content, and then wanting to make sure whatever it aired couldn’t be found on another channel.…
When Pixar set out to create competing, fictional, toys in its debut film Toy Story it settled on cowboys and space rangers. The thought being that once upon a time cowboys were the most popular fantasy toy among boys, but were soon replaced by fantastic space voyagers once real-life space travel became possible. In order…
Welcome, to the world of tomorrow! Today! We’re looking forward while we look back on one of the best animated Christmas episodes of all time – Futurama‘s “Xmas Story.” Have you ever wondered what Christmas could be like in the 31st century? Well, now you don’t have to. Turns out, it’s pretty bad, but the holiday can still bring people together. They just huddle together in fear rather than comfort and joy. No matter, this is but one possible future and it’s not like anyone reading this is going to be around in the year 3000 anyway so don’t sweat it.
The Fox Broadcasting Company was a fledgling network in the early 90s. Two things are credited, primarily, with turning things around for Fox: Football and The Simpsons. Fox got into the animated sitcom market, one that was pretty barren in 1989, with Matt Groening’s The Simpsons. We talked about that show already this year just 10 days ago so there’s probably no need to rehash that. To sum it up though, Fox took a chance on the show and it paid off big time. In hindsight, it’s surprising that it would take Fox another decade after the premiere of that show to premiere another Matt Groening animated sitcom: Futurama. Along the way, there were some attempts at Simpsons spin-offs that went no where and I don’t think any even got very far along. Still, it’s pretty incredible that Fox wouldn’t turn to Groening for another show as it struggled to pair The Simpsons with other content. Eventually, the network would find another hit with Mike Judge’s King of the Hill and that apparently gave the network more confidence in the genre. Now, it seems they’ll greenlight anything for their “Animation Domination” block of content on Sunday night and sometimes a show sticks. Sometimes it has to get cancelled first, as it were with Family Guy, but these days that block is essentially The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, and whatever else Fox is taking a swing with.
Let’s celebrate the holidays with the whole gang! And some robots we’ve never seen before.
Futurama was given the greenlight around the same time as Family Guy. Unfortunately for it, Fox would change leadership at the network during development and the new regime was much higher on Family Guy than Futurama, probably for cost reasons, so it got the coveted post Super Bowl premiere while Futurama had to settle for the less prestigious March 28, 1999. The network would air 9 episodes that spring while holding the rest of Season One until the fall where it could air as part of the broadcast Season Two. Included in that second season was “Xmas Story,” an episode supposedly deemed a bit controversial at the network. For some reason, network heads were uncomfortable with a Christmas episode about a murderous, robot, Santa. The trepidation at Fox had little impact on this episode, but when Robot Santa returned in a sequel episode it would be delayed by about a year until the show was in a later timeslot.
This particular episode was originally conceived by Groening and series co-creator David X. Cohen around the same time as the pilot. I suppose when crafting a world set one thousand years in the future one would naturally wonder what Christmas might look like. It’s actually rather nice they didn’t just decide to go all-in on some sort of super commercialism as the plot. I feel like we have enough satire directed at that aspect of the holiday. A murderous Santa? That’s fresh enough. While we do have horror movies featuring killer Santas, this one is different in that it makes Santa a robot and has a plausible introduction for the character. And that he’s saved until the final act also helps to build suspense. This is also one of those early episodes of the show where it can utilize the time-displaced protagonist, Philip J. Fry (Billy West), as an audience surrogate in giving us a look at this futuristic yuletide celebration.
Fresh Hare, the closest Christmas came to Bugs Bunny for an entire generation.
The episode begins with the usual intro and music. The tag-line is “Based on a true story,” and the cartoon snippet at the end of the opening credits is one of the few Bugs Bunny cartoons in the public domain, Fresh Hare, which contains an image of a Christmas tree and Elmer with snow all over his head making him resemble Santa Claus. I had that cartoon on VHS when I was a kid along with a handful of other public domain toons. It has an abrupt ending with Bugs Bunny before a firing squad and I would learn years later that’s because it goes into a blackface gag which had been cut from my copy. And that is likely why it’s in the public domain now. Aside from that, it’s actually a pretty funny cartoon directed by Friz Freleng.
I’m surprised it took them until Season Two to get Conan on.
The cartoon opens on an idyllic lodge in the snowy mountains. The Planet Express crew is apparently going skiing and it will be Fry’s first experience of such in the year 3000. The skiing will have to wait though as the crew is all in attendance watching comedian Conan O’Brien (voiced by himself) performing stand-up. And since it is the year 3000, he’s just a head in a jar and the sight gag here is his head is so big that his hair extends beyond the jar. He makes a reference to his long-time band leader, Max Weinberg, but he’s just a skull in a jar. Apparently someone forgot to feed him. They eat like fish which is revealed in another episode.
Who knew the robot desired freckles?
Conan goes into his routine which begins with a Y2K joke. Bender (John DiMaggio), in the role of the heckler, yells out they fixed that problem a thousand years ago. O’Brien, slightly exasperated already, urges Bender to bare with him. His next setup has him recite “So, I was walking into work,” and Bender shouts out, “I doubt it!” Conan then tries to rip into Bender by saying that he may have lost his freakishly long legs, but he has something Bender never will – a soul! This doesn’t phase the robot in the least, but when he follows it up with, “And freckles!” Bender begins to weep. Get used to these sort of setups. Also, how am I going to get through this write-up without just typing out all of the jokes? This show is packed with so many and there are so many good ones contained in this episode.
The Professor is an incredible skier, provided he’s unconscious.
Conan announces he’s out of material and he’s taken away. Before he departs, he encourages everyone to enjoy their breakfast so Conan has apparently been reduced to breakfast entertainment. Considering how short and dated his set was, that seems appropriate. With Conan’s moldy old antics over, it’s time for some skiing! It looks pretty similar to skiing in the 21st century only the chair lift features hover chairs and no one uses actual ski poles. They’re basically just handles that impart balance somehow. Fry notes how beautiful the snow looks and thanks the lord that global warming never occurred. Leela (Katey Sagal) tells him that it actually did, but nuclear winter cancelled it out. When the two exit the chair lift they ski up to Bender, Fry says “Hi,” and Bender (who is wearing a funny, jester-like, hat) snaps at him, “Enough of your mindless chatter!” On another chairlift, Hermes (Phil LaMarr) and Dr. Zoidberg (West) are stuck and as Zoidberg applies another glove to his mouth appendages the two take notice of Professor Farnsworth (West) who is skiing like an Olympian. We then cut to a close-up of the Professor to find out he’s actually asleep standing up as he makes a flurry of fantastic moves.
I hope that in a thousand years they found a cure for tree to the groin.
Fry and Leela are skiing together and Fry begins to panic as they approach some thickly settled trees. Leela tells him to relax and then commands, “Trees down.” A robotic voice(West) repeats the command and the trees are retracted into the ground. Foolishly, Fry asks what they do when they want the “Trees up,” which predictably causes them to re-emerge from the ground slamming into Fry’s crotch. As he’s stuck in a tree, he meekly commands “Trees down,” and gets slammed into the snow. I should point out, these trees appear to be some sort of pine tree, which is important for later. With Fry laying helpless in the snow, Bender skis by and taunts him with a “Looking good, meatball!”
What a lovely setting for a Christmas special, surely nothing will come along and spoil this image.
As Bender has a laugh at his quip, a fellow skier warns him that he’s heading off the trail. Bender, who is in quite a mean mode so far this episode, just tells the guy to lick his frozen, metal, ass in response. He is immediately punished for his hubris as he plunges off of a cliff. We see him fall from behind, but then it cuts to a frozen pond where some kids are skating listlessly. A non-copywrite infringing song that sounds vaguely like “Christmas Time is Here” from A Charlie Brown Christmas plays and the image lingers just long enough to make us wonder if this is a setup going no where. It’s not, as Bender comes flying through the scene and crashes through the ice taking the children with him. According to the commentary, none survived.
Hermes is apparently not much of a bobsledder.
Zoidberg is shown skiing and he has an unusual way of going about it. Since he’s some sort of crab monster, he puts both feet in one ski and his claws in another and goes down the hill sideways. It’s a cute visual. He stops abruptly though when he comes upon the bobsled track and finds Hermes, the Jamaican accountant of Planet Express, preparing to race down the ice sled. He laughs at the sight, but Hermes is quick to counter that a thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders. Fry is in attendance and he confirms this fact, but then adds “They came in last at the Olympics and then retired to promote alcohol.” This is a pretty consistent setup for a Futurama joke as one would expect Hermes to have a negative reaction to Fry’s statement, but this show’s writing staff loves misdirection so he instead responds with, “A true inspiration to the children.” The countdown sequence then finishes and the gate opens and rather than go forward, Hermes just slowly tips over until he’s upside down. He calls out for some help and Zoidberg just pushes him down the course upside down. He has a laugh at the misfortune of his co-worker (an uncharacteristic turn for Zoidberg, but the writers are still still feeling him out), but like we just saw with Bender, he gets his comeuppance almost immediately as he slips and falls down the course. Fry has a laugh at Zoidberg’s expense, and then decides “What the Hell?” and jumps down the course after him. We hear him crash into something at the end, but are deprived the visual.
I love the Professor’s prescription sunglasses.
At the lodge, we find Amy (Lauren Tom) getting cozy with someone who busted their leg skiing. He(DiMaggio) starts to detail what happened, but then Amy immediately loses interest as she’s spied someone who is even more injured (this is apparently a kink for her). It’s some guy in a full body cast and she pounces on him and suggestively says, “Hello there.” The Professor then comes skiing in still asleep, but he wakes up and is perplexed to find a medal draped around his neck. He finds the rest of the crew sitting around a roaring fire in the lodge and all appear to be damaged to some degree except Leela. Bender remarks there’s nothing like a warm fire and a Super Soaker full of cognac. He pumps it and then blasts it into his mouth. Fry says it really puts one in the Christmas mood and everyone gets confused by his statement. When Fry clarifies what he’s talking about, he does so by trying to spell Christmas, but he spells it as “X M A S.” This alerts everyone that he means Xmas, which they pronounce as X-Mas, and note that Fry must be using an archaic pronunciation like when he says “Ask” instead of “Axe” which sets off a running joke the rest of the series must abide by.
There, there, Fry. Everything is going to be okay.
Fry doesn’t seem bothered by the change in pronunciation, but he is bummed that this will be his first Xmas away from home. Leela then seeks permission to “axe” him if it would make him feel better if they went and cut down an Xmas tree. This causes Fry to perk right up, but we do a hard cut to him being disappointed when he finds out that their idea of an old-fashioned Xmas tree is a palm tree. When he points out that an Xmas tree is supposed to be some kind of pine tree, the Professor tells him that the pine tree is extinct, “Gone the way of the poodle and your primitive notions of modesty.” He then lets his fur coat drop to the ground revealing he’s completely naked underneath, “Ah, brisk!” Fry then starts to fret that everything has changed, and apparently not for the better, but the Professor is there to soothe him still naked. I love that Fry is not phased in the least by the casual nudity. Leela argues that Fry is being ridiculous as she holds an axe over her head to line up a strike, only for another patented Futurama misdirection joke to reveal itself as a laser shoots from from the axe handle and fells the tree unnaturally. And this is the part where I remind you the characters were just skiing amongst a forest of crotch-hunting pine trees.
You don’t see Bender cuddling with Nibbler too often. That’s the magic of Xmas!
The Planet Express ship cuts into view with the palm tree tied down to the roof as an instrumental of “Joy to the World” chimes in the background. The ship enters the Planet Express building and we soon find the dwellers inside decorating for Xmas. A calendar on the wall shows that it’s December 24th. Zoidberg is opening a box, Fry and Leela are by the fireplace looking miserable, and the Professor and Amy are wrapping lights on the tree. Adorably, Bender is in a rocking chair with Nibbler (Frank Welker) on his lap rocking back and forth and singing “Oh Xmas Tree” while Nibbler adds his own little inflections. Fry laments all of the things he is now missing, like his mom getting a goose for goose burgers and his dad whipping up his famous eggnog which was just bourbon and ice cubes. In the background, Amy is struggling with a jet pack which has already caused her to hit her head on the ceiling while trying to place the star on the tree and then sends her careening into the wall.
Thankfully, the sweet flower of the office has returned.
Fry suggests they stop talking about Xmas, which is the cue for Hermes to come barging in shouting “Xmas cards are here! Xmas!” He hands them out which includes a mighty hall for Bender. When he gets to the last of them he sets Leela up for her cards, but it’s actually himself he is referring to as the sweet flower of the office. Leela is upset, but Fry doesn’t notice and instead asks her for a little sympathy which causes her to cry and run off. When Fry asks what upset her, Amy reminds him that she’s an orphan with the Professor adding she’s also the only known member of her species which must make her the loneliest person in the galaxy. Bender then comes over to try and cheer Fry up, but as he does a little dance Fry starts sobbing causing Bender to ponder if he needs to work on his act.
Just like a classic episode of The Simpsons, the TV will tell us where the plot goes.
We cut to Fry seated on the couch all hunched over and sad. He declares he feels like a rat for sitting around whining like a pig while Leela was as lonely as a frog. He then adds he could kick himself, but Amy says she’ll do it for him and does. The Professor scolds him for being blind to Leela’s plight, which just cuts to Hermes telling him that Fry is “over there.” Bender is unphased though as he relaxes in a chair drinking booze and remarks how Xmas Eve is just another pointless day where he accomplishes nothing! Clearly, he needs his own plot then which is why we’re interrupted by a news broadcast. It’s hosted by Linda (Tress MacNeille) and the alien Morbo (Maurice LaMarche), the usual anchors for these broadcasts. Linda sets up her story by noting that Xmas is the time of year where we acknowledge the suffering of others, which is just Morbo’s cue to add “Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering – muahahaha!” That’s his schtick.
First, Bender is snuggling with the office pet and now he’s off to do some charity work? This is too much!
Linda segues into a story about homeless robots who lack the necessary alcohol needed to power their circuits. She’s at a shelter which is basically a soup kitchen, but one that deals alcohol instead. She gestures to the scene and rhetorically asks, “Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies, and there would have to be a lot of them!” Bender turns off the TV and heads for the door. Apparently, our cold-hearted mechanical man has found the Xmas spirit for he tells the others that he’s going to volunteer at the shelter. They’re all skeptical and Hermes asks when has he ever done anything charitable? Bender counters there was that time he gave blood and when Fry asks, “Whose blood?” he comes back with “Some guy’s.” With Bender gone, Fry resumes his sulking so Zoidberg suggests he get down on his claws and do the apology dance to make it up to Leela. Fry pays attention to the demonstration miming the movements, then gets the idea in his head that he can just buy her an Xmas present. As he heads for the door the others caution him to be back before sunset. Fry indicates he likes to haggle, so he isn’t making any promises, which alerts the others that Fry doesn’t know about Santa Claus! Fry confirms that he does with a knowing wink, but the Professor is here to fill him in: In 2801 the Friendly Robot Company built a robotic Santa to distribute presents, but a programming error caused Santa to have too high of standards so everyone is on his Naughty List. Amy tells Fry if he gets caught that Santa will kill him while Professor Farnsworth adds “Nice knowing you!”
That’s better.
Time to check-in on Bender who has arrived at the liquor kitchen, only he’s not there to volunteer, but to score free booze. He’s dirtied himself up and put on a knit cap and some torn gloves and tells a volunteer he’s one of those lazy, homeless, robots he’s been hearing about and asks where the free booze is? The guy gestures in the proper direction and Bender is in. We then check in on Fry who is at the mall in search of a gift. He’s at a counter and explains his situation to the clerk, who suggests a nice, traditional, Xmas gift: a surface-to-Santa rocket launcher outfitted with jolly-seeking missiles. Fry laughs at the suggestion which causes one of the missiles to arm itself and point in his direction prompting a word of caution from the clerk.
Tinny Tim, the most pathetic robot you’re likely to see.
At the shelter, Bender is downing another bowl of booze and seems quite satisfied. He then tells the robot next to him who is modeled after an old hobo that someone is trying to steal his handkerchief full of crap. The robot turns to make sure his bindle is still there allowing Bender to steal his booze. A small, pathetic, robot approaches the counter. He’s wearing a flat cap and has a crutch for an arm. This is Tinny Tim (MacNeille), though right now he’s doing Oliver Twist as he politely asks for a bowl of booze, only to find out it’s all gone. As he sadly hobbles away, Bender says to himself, “My God, that poor kid,” and then laughs. Misdirection!
Decisions, decisions.
We are then whisked away to Joe’s Ark Pet Store, Formerly Noah’s Ark Shoe Store, where Fry is still in search of a gift for Leela. He pleads with the clerk as this is his last shot at finding the perfect gift. Following that is a series of gags where Fry is looking at some weird, futuristic, version of a pet and deciding it’s not good enough. Among them is an eight-legged dachshund and Bongo, the one-eared rabbit-like creature from Groening’s Life in Hell. Dissatisfied with his options, Fry asks the clerk what the best pet in the shop is and he points to the electric snail as his favorite pet. Fry declares it a stupid animal and calls the clerk stupid for suggesting it. He’s been hanging out with Bender too long. The clerk is understandably eager to get out of there before sundown and urges Fry to make a choice. Fry then zeroes in on a parrot that apparently costs 500 bucks. He remarks it’s a damn good parrot, but then spies stink lizards which are a buck each. He asks the clerk what women prefer: parrots or swarms of lizards? He’s instead urged to make a choice because the shop is closing setting up a gag where Fry goes back and forth agonizing over his decision as he basically narrates his thought process: “Okay, okay, I’ll take the 500 lizards. No! Wait! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! Yes! The parrot!” Every time he said “Yes” he inches closer to the lizards, a true misdirection if ever there was one.
Well, that took a turn rather quickly.
With that decision made, Fry leaves with his parrot satisfied that Leela will like it. The parrot (Welker) squawks in response and Fry cheerfully remarks how it’s quite the talker. It squawks again and Fry gets angry yelling “Shut the hell up!” The parrot is able to bite his nose through the cage causing Fry to drop it. When it hits the ground it breaks open and the parrot flies off. Fry raises the cage over his head and shouts “I know where you live!” Back at the Planet Express headquarters, Amy is wrapping gifts with Zoidberg as Nibbler bounces around and Hermes and the Professor play chess. Naked. There’s even a nice opening in the chair Hermes is seated in so we can see his butt crack. Leela enters looking for Fry, only to find out that he left to go get her a present. She’s alarmed given the hour and the others act like they have no idea why, but it’s so they can setup a joke for Leela to say “I’m telling you why – Santa Claus is coming to town!”
This is just a tremendous visual gag.
We find Fry at the base of a very tall building with a giant digital clock that reads 4:24 on the front of it. The parrot has apparently found a perch atop it and Fry is going after him. He states, “All right bird, you thought you could beat me in a game of wits, but you just met your equal.” At least he isn’t modest. Fry emerges at the top of the building where the parrot is perched atop the big clock face. There isn’t much room so Fry inches out with his back against the wall. He scoots along, and as he does so does the parrot until it runs out of real estate. Fry thinks he has the bird cornered, but it just does what birds do – it flies. In trying to grab it, Fry loses his balance. He appears to regain it for a second, but then abruptly falls. He’s able to grab onto the number 2 of the clock face, but he’s at the end of it and the number represents seconds that are elapsing. It’s apparently a tangible digital clock that changes to 3, but when it changes to a 4 the top disappears and Fry falls again grabbing onto the middle “bar” of the digital number. He’s safe only until it becomes a 7, then there are no more bars to grab onto.
Looks like everything is going to be just fine.
Lucky for Fry, Leela is there to grab him! Fry is so happy to see her that he declares he’s going to buy her so many lizards! Leela smiles and we cut to the pair walking out of the building. They have a heart-to-heart where Fry apologizes for ignoring her feelings and only focusing on himself. Leela accepts and suggests that at least this Xmas they can be lonely together. The two hold hands and this is probably the second big advancement of their romantic subplot following “A Flight to Remember.” As the two wish each other a “Merry Xmas,” they’re interrupted by a loud banging sound. They turn around and Fry is immediately excited to see Santa Claus! The robot gives a jolly “Ho Ho Ho,” but as it does, it’s U-shaped eyes rotate upside down into a frown as we head into an act break.
Oh, right, we forgot about the killer Santa.
After the break, Fry and Leela do not look at all happy to see the murderous robot as it approaches. Santa (John Goodman) informs the two that they have both been very naughty this year for neglecting each other’s feelings. When they tell Santa that they made up, he counters by asking if either of them had bothered to think about the feelings of their co-worker, Dr. Zoidberg? Fry quickly responds, “No! I swear!” in an early indication of how Zoidberg is to be treated going forward. Santa then tells the two he has something very special for them in his sack. As he reaches in, there’s a quick cut to Fry’s face and he’s smiling like he thinks Santa has a present for him, but he just pulls out a laser tommy gun and starts firing madly!
Clearly, Xmas is just the time of year where people make it easy for Bender to do crimes.
Fry and Leela are forced to run for their lives and rather than watch that we cut to Bender and some homeless robots singing Xmas carols outside an old lady’s (MacNeille) home. We get a piece of the future’s version of “Here Comes Santa Claus” which strikes a very different tone from the present, “So lock the door and hit the floor ’cause Santa Claus comes tonight.” The old lady applauds the group, which includes Tinny Tim, the robot with the bindle, and another, then tells them to go away. Bender stops her by suggesting it’s customary to invite carolers in for a traditional glass of hard cider. She surprisingly agrees and the gang heads in. The door closes and the camera stays outside the townhouse as we can hear them guzzling the stuff down and the old lady tell them that’s enough. The sound of empty bottles being discarded follows along with a command from Bender to get her purse. Suddenly, this is more like A Clockwork Orange than any Christmas special I know.
So did he have the spiked pom pom on his hat before or after he turned evil?
The scene shifts abruptly to Fry and Leela running towards the camera as Santa flies behind them. His sleigh is being pulled by two robotic reindeer as apparently eight weren’t needed. It does speak to humanity’s efficiency that in a thousand years they were able to devise a sleigh only in need of two reindeer to power it. As Santa continues to fire away at the two, Fry begs for their lives and promises to set out milk and cookies for the robot. Santa pauses, but only to remark how shocked he is that they would try to bribe him. That’s just another naughty deed and Santa vows to shove coal so far up their “stockings” that they’ll start coughing up diamonds! In the 90s, we were very fond of jokes that involved something going up the rectum and resulting in something hilarious occurring at the mouth region.
Sorry kids, this is no time for romance!
Santa tosses a grenade in Fry and Leela’s direction which is shaped like a traditional Christmas ornament. The two avoid it by ducking into an entryway to a building, but as Santa circles and prepares to come straight at them, they also realize they have no where left to run. As the two say their goodbyes to each other, Fry notices they’re standing under the mistletoe. The two lean in for a kiss, but the mood is disrupted by Santa declaring that their mistletoe is no match for his T.O.W. missile! He pulls out a massive rocket launcher and fires away, but as the missile heads right for the screaming Fry and Leela the parrot happens to fly by. It ends up taking one for the pair and as the feathers rain down in front of them Fry tells Leela her Xmas present may require some assembly.
I applaud Santa’s commitment to keeping some things old fashioned.
We jump back to Bender and his crew following their heist. Bender leads the group in his own version of the “Twelve Days of Christmas” which goes: “On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady, four family photos – three jars of pennies – two former husbands – and a slipper on a shoe tree!” Each member of the gang sings their own line and the former husbands are urns. It’s pretty clever. Tinny Tim then spies Fry and Leela running in their direction and points them out as potential next victims, but Bender tells the gang he knows them – they got nothing. Santa is close behind the two and when he spies Bender he’s got some words to share. It would seem Bender is very high on Santa’s Naughty List, and when he tells Bender this he tries to finger the kid. Santa is so appalled that Bender would frame an orphan for his misdeeds that he feels compelled to update his list. Despite the fact that he can perform 50 mega-checks per second of his list, updating it is rather time consuming and as Santa does so the others run away.
“Finally, I look as pretty as I feel!”
At Planet Express HQ, the decorations are all in place and the clothes are back on. Hermes, Zoidberg, Amy, and Professor Farnsworth are seated all wearing Santa hats as the gift exchange begins. Zoidberg gifts Amy a set of combs, which is ironic because Amy sold all of her hair to buy a set of combs for Hermes. He too sold his hair to buy a set of combs for…Zoidberg? The bald crustacean accepts the gift and announces it will go splendid with his new hair! He takes his hat off and one side of his head features the hair of Amy and the other the hair of Hermes. No one apparently got the Professor anything, but he’s their boss so why should they? This obvious Gift of the Magi parody is very Futurama in that it sets up the joke, then goes beyond it in a way the audience should not have expected.
He’s on the roof!
The screaming of Fry, Leela, Bender, and the robot hobos puts an end to the lovely atmosphere in the room. The others see the crew from the window as they try to outrun Santa. The Professor notes they’ll be killed on their doorstep – with no trash pickup until January third. The door opens behind him and the group comes running in. They scramble to try and close the fireplace with this giant gear-like contraption, but it’s only Fry and Leela who try to push it while Bender urges them to use teamwork. Santa sticks a candy cane in front of it just before it locks into place and effortlessly forces himself inside along with his two reindeer minions.
Looks like it’s all over for this crew.
Santa menacingly descends from the ceiling and announces to the group before him that they’ve all been very naughty, very naughty indeed! Except Dr. Zoidberg who Santa gifts with a pogo stick. As the crab bounces merrily, Santa resumes his threats by indicating he’ll tare their skin off like wrapping paper and deck the halls with their guts – not his most clever threats. Bender gets an idea and tells everyone gathered that if they don’t believe in Santa then he can’t hurt them! Santa smacks him upside the head with his sack forcing Bender to cry out “Oh, God, the pain!”
This episode could have also been called “How Zoidberg Saved Xmas.”
Santa then commences with his punishment as he starts to laugh. Leela warns his belly is shaking like a bowl full of nitroglycerine while Amy and Fry point out Rudolph’s blinking nose. They’re clearly going to explode which will likely kill everyone in the process. When all hope is lost, the only one on the Nice List springs into action – literally! Bouncing on his pogo stick, Zoidberg snips one of the strings of lights which swings down and contacts Santa electrocuting him in the process. As he fries, Leela jump-kicks him back into his sleigh while Fry, Amy, Hermes, and the Professor (who is dangling off the tree and not really helping) carry the Xmas tree like a battering ram and slam Santa and the reindeer into the fireplace. The robots close the barrier and an explosion goes off behind it that rockets Santa and his reindeer into the sky leaving everyone else safe at last.
Oof, that’s an unfortunate sight.
With that out of the way, it’s time to serve Xmas dinner! The robots have stayed for dinner (and the wife of Hermes, LaBarbara, is suddenly present but not their son, Dwight) as Bender brings out a platter which contains…the charred remains of Leela’s dead parrot. Fry asks Bender where he got the bird and he says he got it where he gets all of the food he serves them – lying in the street. He starts carving the bird, which no one appears interested in eating, and puts a toenail on Tinny Tim’s plate. Nibbler then puts everyone out of their misery by eating the rest and then snatches the toenail from Tinny Tim’s plate. Bender is bummed, which prompts Fry to say the food isn’t important, but before he can continue Tinny Tim sadly moans to himself that he’s so hungry. Fry continues by saying despite being surrounded by robots, monsters, and old people, he’s happy to be among them all at Xmas. Everyone seems to share the same sentiment and the Professor announces that it’s time to shut up and sing!
Merry Xmas, everyone!
The whole gang gathers at the piano where Hermes leads them in a traditional Xmas song. Here we get a larger sample of this universe’s “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” which goes: He knows when you are sleeping(Amy). He knows when you’re on the can(Farnsworth). He’ll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan(Leela)! Oh, you better not breath, you better not move(Hermes). You’re better off dead I’m telling you, dude(Bender). Santa Claus is gunning you down(Fry)!” Professor Farnsworth then steps into frame to announce “Merry Xmas!” as he disrobes into his birthday suit and takes his place beside his employees.
We can’t forget the moon shot. Too bad the credits are over it.
The camera zooms out through the window and pans up to the sky. We can see the skyscraper Fry dangled from earlier which now reads 8:57, which in the show’s original broadcast coincided with the actual time of day it would have been. Santa then comes flying by with a threat, he’ll be back when we least expect it – next Xmas! He laughs his evil laugh and flies into the sky and we end this one on a proper moon shot. Bravo, Futurama, bravo!
And that is the story of what Christmas Xmas is like in the year 3000. As an episode of Futurama, it follows the familiar template of Fry getting introduced to something about the future that’s changed from the past. There’s quite a few of these events in the first seasons of the show and this is one of the better ones. I tried not to keep pointing it out, but I love all of the misdirection in this one. So many jokes are just: here is the premise, here is your logical conclusion, but oh wait, that’s not the real conclusion! It’s the type of humor that can fall flat after repeat viewings because the surprises are no longer a surprise. In spite of that, this episode of Futurama remains timeless and it’s so timeless that I consider it one of the best Christmas Xmas specials ever aired.
Poor parrot, we hardly knew ye.
In terms of production, there is nothing special about this episode compared with a normal episode of the show. It looks fantastic, because pretty much all of Futurama from this era looked amazing, but did have the added benefit of being the first time the show really got to play with snow. The early scenes at the lodge look terrific even if there isn’t a ton of creativity on display as far as how a ski lodge in the year 3000 might look. The skyscraper with the giant digital clock is a terrific set piece and an even better gag when it turns out it actually has a physical form that Fry can interact with. And even though he didn’t last long, the parrot was pretty amusing. Poor, little, birdy.
I don’t think of this one as crass as some other Xmas specials, and then I remember the drowning children.
As an Xmas special, this one is surprisingly by the numbers for the first two acts. Two people are coping with the holiday blues brought on by loneliness and the holiday brings them together. It just brings them together in fear because Santa Claus is now homicidal. Fry and Leela nearly share a kiss, which wouldn’t have been their first since they kiss in “A Flight to Remember.” There, their kiss was one of deception and not romance so this one would have landed differently had it been allowed to take place. The show would play up the “will they won’t they” angle for many episodes to come and would eventually pair the two up. The Santa angle is present mostly for shock value, but it’s also entertaining. There are some good one-liners to be found that take a popular Xmas saying and turn it around, though it is the one aspect of the episode that does seem to get weaker as it goes along. Though it does turn things around with that humorous parody of “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” that basically takes us out.
In closing, this Xmas episode of Futurama has heart, but it’s also more funny and subversive than anything. I don’t think it has any real commentary to make on the holiday itself, but that’s fine as there’s plenty of space to do that elsewhere. This one just wants to present a ludicrous take on the holiday and give the viewer something to laugh at. If you want a funny Xmas special that doesn’t feature the crudeness of say South Park or American Dad! then this one should more than fit the bill. I absolutely love it, along with its sequel episode, and I think you will too.
Oh, and who could forget the casual nudity?
If you would like to watch Futurama‘s “Xmas Story,” then the easiest way in the US is via Hulu where the show presently resides. I think the show still airs on television as well where this episode will likely air. If you’re outside the US, then it can be found on Disney+. The best way to watch it though is to simply buy all of Season Two on physical media that way yo can enjoy it, and the rest of Season Two, whenever you want.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
Let’s continue our look at the best of the best in the field of Christmas specials with perhaps the most quoted, parodied, and maybe even beloved special of all time: A Charlie Brown Christmas. This is the special that shouldn’t exist. It’s one if you are able to separate your nostalgia for the special itself…
We’re rounding the corner to Christmas. With just five days left until the big day, that means we have time for just five more specials after this one! And since we’ve hit another multiple of five, it’s time to do another retro-lookback (or whatever I’m calling these things) at an all-time classic: Toy Tinkers. Toy…
Once upon a time, Hanna-Barbera ruled the cartoon television universe. The company was one of the first to prioritize television over film when it came to cartoons, and it was a strategy that worked quite well. Come the 80s, cartoons were a Saturday morning staple and were taking over the weekday afternoon as well. Hanna-Barbera…
Whenever I approach another year of The Christmas Spot I usually have some kind of goal in mind. Maybe one could even think of it as a theme. The past few years I’ve made it a point to highlight some of the best Christmas specials I covered in the past, but felt I had short-changed the first time around. And that’s kept up, though after this year that task will basically be accomplished. It’s not the only goal I had this year as I also wanted to spotlight a lot of stuff I had just overlooked up until now. That’s why we’ve had some Looney Tunes themed posts this year and you could even count Scooby Doo as part of that. The other big one was to really dive into the Nicktoons.
Some of this drive to highlight more Nicktoons is born out of nostalgia for 90s properties. The Nicktoons were quite popular and there’s probably an appetite among my readers to engage with them at Christmas. There also were a fair amount of holiday specials produced by Nickelodeon for these shows and as someone who loves Christmas I want to make sure I’ve seen them all. Most of them I remember to some degree, while others I’ve completely forgotten about or missed entirely. The other motivating factor here is that now all of these shows are very accessible via Paramount+. That’s certainly a good thing, but as we saw with HBO Max and Disney+ this year, all of that content you see today isn’t guaranteed to be there tomorrow. And if you’re going to do an annual advent calendar of Christmas specials, streaming is the easiest way to interact with such episodes and specials so I do feel a sense of urgency with some of these properties.
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters is the fifth official Nicktoon and second (but no the last) developed by Klasky-Csupo.
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters was the fifth of the Nicktoons and the second created by Klasky-Csupo. It premiered in 1994 and its creation is primarily credited to Gábor Csupó and Peter Gaffney with a lot of input from director Igor Kovalyov. It’s a show about young monsters Oblina (Christine Cavanaugh), Krumm (David Eccles), and Ickis (Charlie Adler) who are all students in monster school just outside New York City. They attend a boarding school located in a dump overseen by The Gromble (Gregg Berger) who is tasked with teaching them how to scare humans and, perhaps more importantly, how to not get caught by said humans. It’s a little bit like Monsters Inc which followed this only there’s no monster world they travel from and the scares don’t power their society. They basically just scare because that’s what monsters do.
The show ran from 1994 through 1997 with reruns following that kept it on the air for quite awhile. It received the standard Nicktoon episode order of 52 which was broken up into multiple broadcast seasons. It was a bit of an odd inclusion to the lineup as, following the creation of Rocko’s Modern Life, the Sunday morning Nicktoons block had been made a whole two hours, but now they had five shows. Nickelodeon by then was premiering a lot of the new The Ren & Stimpy Show episodes during its Saturday night timeslot and fellow Nicktoon Doug wasn’t going to be around much longer so things did kind of work themselves out.
This one isn’t a traditional Christmas episode, but it does have its own version of the Red Ryder BB Gun.
The show does have a very interesting style. It’s undeniably Klasky-Csupo, but with monsters as the main characters those almost intentionally ugly character designs work very well with the show’s setting. All of the monsters are oddly shaped with lots of grotesque details about them. There is a more scatological humor at play in the show, though I would say it’s not as gross as Rocko or Ren and Stimpy. These monsters do live in a landfill and get around the human world by flushing themselves down the toilet. Toenail clippings are their currency and monsters like Krumm rely on their grotesque odor in order to scare humans. Some of the designs though are just really fun. Krumm was always a favorite of mine as he doesn’t have eye sockets. His face basically ends at his nose so he’s forced to carry his eyeballs around over his head. This can cause problems when he needs to use his hands for something else, but he doesn’t mind sticking his eyes in his mouth or even on the ground. They’re surprisingly durable.
If you’re a 90s kid then it’s likely that you’re familiar with Aaahh!!! Real Monsters and it’s also possible you’re saying to yourself, “Wait, I don’t remember that show having a Christmas episode?” And you would be partially correct. This one is a little bit of a cheat, but you know when you have to do 25 of these things every year you’re willing to settle for “close enough.” The sixth episode of season one features the segment “Gone Shopp’n” which places the three main characters in the mall decked out for Christmas. Only, it’s not actually Christmas, but a Christmas in July sale. If you didn’t know that detail then it likely wouldn’t matter as this looks like a Christmas episode. It aired in December, so it sure looks like it was timed as the show’s Christmas episode that year, but maybe they felt that by making it a Christmas in July episode it would give the network more freedom to re-air it as they saw fit? I don’t know, but we’re counting it so let’s go!
The episode begins, as all episodes of the show do, with a spooky, but lively, theme song set mostly to clips from the show. It’s composed by Drew Neumann and the song is punctuated with a stock scream (I don’t think this is another instance of the famous Wilhelm scream) since the show is called Aaahh!!! Real Monsters with the “aaahh” portion meant to be a scream. It’s a clever bit of wordplay that makes the title so much more interesting than if it had been called Real Monsters. It also made things more interesting on the Nickelodeon hype man when doing TV spots for the show.
This is rent-a-cop, Hal, who is going to be a passive participant throughout this one.
“Gone Shopp’n” is the second segment of the episode following “Monsters Don’t Dance.” It’s going to be a single setting segment as it starts and takes place at the Valley View Mall. It’s all decorated for Christmas in July which really makes it no different from just Christmas. I don’t even see a Hawaiian Santa anywhere so I’m puzzled why they even bothered to make this Christmas in July. Maybe someone at the studio was adamant that this show never have a true Christmas episode? There’s a quick cut of the face of a security guard who looks pretty intense, before we see some additional cuts of another gentleman apparently sneaking into the mall. He’s actively avoiding the guard and clearly up to no good. He also seems very interested in a ski sale.
It must have been fun devising ways for Krumm to scare people with his detached eyes.
A voice over the P.A. alerts us to the fact that the mall is closing in five minutes. Inside a store called Crystal Clear, a young woman (Cavanaugh) is scoping out a crystal ball that the clerk is aggressively pushing on her. The voice actor for the clerk (Nick Jameson) is doing an accent of some kind, I think he’s supposed to be middle eastern, and it’s probably not the sort of thing you would see in a modern cartoon. The young lady doesn’t understand why the ball is so expensive, but the clerk encourages her to gaze into it for it will reveal the depths of her soul. When she does, it rotates on its own revealing an eyeball which blinks. The two humans scream and cry out “Monster!” as they run out of the store.
Pay no attention to the man in the ski clothes.
Krumm pops up from under the table as it was his eye that frightened the two humans. As they run through the mall in terror, the security guard (Rodney Saulsberry) from earlier just shouts at them, “Hey! No running in the mall!” He’s soon approached by the mall’s manager (Michael Tucker) who wishes to push the new security system on him. The guard seems put-off and hostile towards his boss and the new system challenging that it couldn’t possibly prevent horseplay on the escalators. The mall manager doesn’t care and just wants the guy to enable the alarm. They’ve been burglarized multiple times this month and he seems desperate to put an end to that. The mall cop agrees to do as he’s requested and vows that no burglar can escape this “Rent-a-cop!” As he says that, we see the shady guy from earlier is watching disguised as a mannequin in ski attire.
If this episode had been made after the Lord of the Rings film franchise got off and running then we certainly would have had a “precious” line in here somewhere.
Ickis, Krumm, and Oblina poke their heads out from behind a corner. Oblina gestures towards a restroom and announces that’s their way out (remember, they travel through toilets) and the three take off. Oblina doesn’t make it very far though before something in a store display window catches her eye. Ickis shouts back at her in confusion over why she stopped, then joins her and becomes transfixed as well. Krumm then strolls up in confusion and sees what all the fuss is over: a lava lamp. The three monsters are completely enraptured by the novelty lamp. They can’t take their eyes off of it and we get a fun little cut of the lamp dancing in their eyes as the camera moves from monster to monster.
No running in the mall!
Nearby, the manager is leaving and passing on some final instructions to the rent-a-cop to remember to enable the alarm after he leaves. He also adds that he should release the dogs. The guard agrees and does that immediately. Two snarling, angry, looking dogs come running out and immediately go for the manager who narrowly avoids them by slipping out of the exit. He then can be heard shouting out “After I leave, you moron!” in response to him letting loose the beasts right away. The guard smiles sort of sheepishly realizing his error, then presses the button on the security box that barricades all of the entrances, even pipes and toilets. Satisfied, the guard turns back around and catches the guard dogs running by which calls for another, “Hey! No running in the mall!” The guard then smiles to himself and…closes his eyes. He falls asleep standing up and in doing so his elbow presses the door button again undoing all of the locks he had just activated.
Our thief is soon going to learn that he’s overprepared for this heist.
With the guard asleep and the security system disabled, our would-be thief jumps out from his disguise and immediately gets to work. He tosses a large rope net on the floor and then baits it with a juicy T-bone steak. He then heads over to a jewelry store with a hole saw to drill through the glass window. He takes a peek at the guard first then turns on the very noisy drill to create a hole in the glass. As he reaches in to grab the loot, the entire window shatters! He immediately looks back at the guard and finds him still snoring so he grabs the loot and moves on.
Behold the lamp’s beauty.
At the lamp, the monsters are still captivated by its warm, glowing, warming, glow. Ickis notes a tag that reads “Lava Lamp $20.00” and mistakenly thinks it’s called a Lava Lamp 2,000. The monsters all try to come up with a word to describe its beauty, but words fail them. Krumm declares it reminds him of his mother which makes him feel warm inside. Their religious moment is soon interrupted though as the dogs have taken notice. Ickis screams when he sees them and the three start running for a vent. Unfortunately for them, the guard is a little unsteady on his feet and his elbow has drifted back and reactivated the security measures which drops a series of bars across all of the exits once again.
That’s using the old noggin! Or, butt?
With their escape routes cut-off, Oblina does the only thing a monster knows to do in this situation -she resorts to scaring! Unfortunately, the dogs aren’t impressed and the three are forced to book-it. They hit a dead-end at a barred up store and appear to be dead in the water. It’s Oblina who has the bright idea to “use her” to break into the store. She is an unusual shape and is similar to a crowbar and that’s essentially how they use her to prop the gate open. Krumm, with his eyes in his mouth, holds the gate up long enough for Ickis and Oblina to slide under it before he joins them, his ass left red and irritated in the process.
The monsters probably shouldn’t feel too safe where they are.
With the threat of the dogs momentarily avoided, Ickis wonders aloud what they’re to do now, but Oblina can only think of “the Lahmp.” She pronounces it by exaggerating the “A” sound which confuses Ickis, but Krumm informs him she means the lamp. They then all get momentarily captivated by the thought of it and seem legitimately depressed about being separated from the lamp. I’m thinking it might not be a good influence on their lives. Oblina vows that they will not be leaving here without it!
What the hell is this thing in Oblina’s mouth?! Is it sentient? Can it speak? I have so many questions!
We get another shot of the wavering security guard who, once again, drifts back into the door release button. As the bars all retract from their various coverings, it would seem the monsters are in trouble. They have a plan though as we smash-cut to the crew crashing through the store display window in a little car. It sounds like it’s a battery-operated car as opposed to a peddle one. Ickis is driving while Krumm and Oblina can only watch as the dogs give chase. Oblina tries in vane to once again scare the dogs away, but nothing appears to be working. Even her weird technique that reveals some little monster living inside her.
They should have just gone all the way and gave him driving gloves and a scarf.
Ickis cries out for someone to do something, and it’s at this point I noticed he’s wearing some old-timey driving goggles, which is pretty cute. Since Oblina has tried every trick she knows, it’s Krumm’s turn to try to stink them out, but they’re dogs. They eat their own poop, smells don’t bother them. Ickis takes the crew up the escalator and as he does the bumper of the car falls off. They drive under a bench and everyone ducks which takes out the windshield. It’s like Smokey and the Bandit! Ickis takes the car back down the escalator and through some Christmas decorations before driving through the central Christmas display and past the sleeping guard. He’s able to make a hard right and send the dogs smashing into some garbage cans granting them a moment’s reprieve.
Saved in the “ick” of time…I’ll see myself out.
It’s going to be a short moment though as the car comes to a stop and then falls apart completely. Ickis has had it, and with the dogs baring down on them once again exits the remains of the vehicle and prepares to unleash his ultimate move. When Ickis needs a scare, his technique is to enlarge himself to gargantuan proportions which usually does the trick, but once again, these dogs prove to be impervious to their monstrous tactics. Ickis seems resigned to his fate, but Oblina spots an advertisement for dog muzzles alongside a lasso sale (it seems like a very interesting store). With Ickis about to meet his end, Oblina and Krumm spring into action lassoing the dogs effortlessly as the muzzles settle over their jaws.
When you’re forced to carry your eyes around in your hands like Krumm does, you learn how to be resourceful.
With the dogs neutralized, Oblina declares it’s time to go retrieve their lamp! With Krumm holding the pair of leashes, Oblina dangles a dog bone from a fishing rod and the monsters commandeer the store display Santa sleigh. Ickis questions how Oblina learned to do that with the lasso and she credits it to once eating a spaghetti western – hardy har har. That doesn’t explain how Krumm was able to do the same, but he can’t really tell us anyway since he has his eyes back in his mouth. Or maybe he can, since he has no trouble saying “Get along, little doggies!” His attempt to spur them on fails though as they just sit on the floor and stare at the bone. Krumm then spies a better motivator – the steak! He pulls the steak from the trap with a ski pole so as not to set it off then attaches it to the fishing rod. That does the trick as the dogs take-off, but without the monsters which was seemingly by design.
We are often most vulnerable at the height of our revelry.
Now that the dogs have been properly dealt with, the real mission to retrieve the lamp can begin. Or it would have if not for the fact that a laughing Krumm, amused by his dog contraption, stumbled onto the net set by the thief and got caught in his trap. Suspended from the ceiling, Krumm calls out for help and informs his friends that he hates heights. Ickis is immediately put into a state of panic at the sight of Krumm high above them and Oblina has to bark at him to “Get a grip!” She then assures Krumm that they’ll get him down. Ickis seems to disagree even though he’s the one monster present who seems to have no trouble growing to gargantuan sizes, but I guess his power doesn’t work in such a way that it would allow him to simply enlarge himself to retrieve Krumm? Instead, he sarcastically asks if Oblina knows any monsters that can fly.
So apparently Oblina can enlarge parts of herself for purposes other than scaring, but Ickis cannot.
Hard cut to the whirling sound of a toy airplane. Ickis is the lucky monster riding in the plane, while Oblina controls it with a remote control. Ickis is screaming the whole time while the dogs go running by with the sound of jingle bells coming from the sleigh – this all feels like a deliberate attempt to show us what a heavy sleeper the guard is even without actually showing us the guard again. Oblina tells Ickis to stop acting like a baby and jump, which indicates to me the plan is for Oblina to basically “buzz” Krumm as Ickis leaps onto the net and cuts him down. Ickis turns to the camera and pauses his screaming long enough to inform us that he’s not having fun. Oblina brings the plane over Krumm and Ickis comes through jumping onto the net which knocks it from the ceiling. The two fall onto the waiting…lips…of Oblina who was able to enlarge her mouth like an inflatable raft to cushion their fall. The plane continues on and flies right past the snoring guard and slams into the wall creating a rather spectacular explosion for such a small toy. The guard doesn’t wake up, but does manage to utter yet another “No running in the mall.”
Ickis is underneath those dogs. You’ll just have to take my word for it.
Free from the net, Krumm simply thanks Oblina while Ickis starts wailing about how he could have been severely hurt. Oblina is not interested in his complaints at this point and tells him he was safer in that plane than he is now. Ickis replies with an, “Oh really?!” and appears poised to go on a rant, but is soon flattened by the dog-pulled sleigh to which Krumm can only remark “Bummer,” at the sight of his flattened friend.
How could he possibly leave such a majestic object behind?
We then get to check-in on our thief. He’s moved onto the crystal store from the beginning and is using his hole saw on the glass door, which just shatters like the window from earlier. He enters and makes for the counter where he goes to use the saw once again, then thinks better of it and simply smashes it to steal…a geode? Far be it for me to judge value for a thief. We cut back to the monsters and Ickis is complaining about losing feeling in his right claw while gesturing to his left arm. I don’t know if this is a joke or an animation error. Oblina tells him that he’ll feel better once he’s back in the presence of the lamp and Ickis concedes as much. They then come upon it as the thief is leaving the store. He heads out, then upon seeing the lamp backtracks, smashes the window, and makes off with the lamp!
I was expecting something more elaborate to get the lamp back, but we are running out of time here.
The monsters aren’t going to let this go as Oblina proposes they scare this man so bad that he sleeps with the lights on for the rest of his life! As they give chase, the guard once again bumps the doors button and all of the bars and shutters return. This gives the monsters precious time as they come upon the thief using a blow torch on the bars over the exit. When he sets the torch aside, he grabs Oblina. I guess he thought she was a crowbar, but upon seeing the monster she screams and pulls a bunch of guts or something out of her mouth. It achieves the desired effect as the thief screams and drops her before running off. The monsters are then able to bask in the glow of the lamp, which is apparently battery-operated or something for it’s still glowing.
So that’s how you wake him up!
The thief (Adler) runs up to the security guard and wraps him in a hug begging for him to save him from the monsters. As the guard is startled awake, his elbow hits the emergency alarm. The shutters then go up and the mall manager is there immediately with a handful of cops as they come storming in. The monsters are forced to dash away to a hiding spot while the manager starts congratulating the guard for catching the crook. The guard is understandably confused, while the thief doesn’t correct the manager since he’s still traumatized from the scaring. The guard then realizes the crook was caught and is happy to take the credit, despite doing nothing all night.
Together at last! Merry Christmas, little monsters.
Hal, that’s the guard’s name, taunts the burglar before the real cops take him away. Then to just sort of add to the dysfunction of the night, the dog-sleigh comes racing by and the manager is forced to duck for cover as Hal shouts out “Hey! No running in the mall!” followed by another “Darn dogs,” once again. The manager then tells him how happy he is the burglar was caught and asks Hal how he did it? As Hal stammers and stalls the manager loses interest and decides to reward his security guard. Since he’s probably a rich guy who doesn’t actually like handing out money, he hands Hal what he feels is a suitable reward: the lava lamp. It had been left on the floor with the other booty and Hal accepts it in a manner that indicates he considers this to be a pretty shitty reward. When the manager presumably turns and walks away, Hal casually tosses the lamp in the trash. And at the bottom of that trash can, are the monsters reunited with their “precious” once again.
That’s how the episode ends. Even though it’s not a true Christmas special, the good guys get the thing they desired most this Christmas in July in the end. This is a very light, silly, sort of episode. There’s a clear goal for our characters and it should be an easy one, but those darn dogs just keep getting in the way. There’s some solid physical comedy and even some subtle stuff at play. The bits with the thief sneaking around even though he really doesn’t have to are quietly amusing and I like how no character points out how useless the guard is. The show is just confident in that its audience will get the joke and with children’s programming that isn’t always the case. The characters, especially Oblina and Ickis, bounce off each other well as their personalities clash. There were no moments that made me laugh out loud, but I was suitably entertained throughout.
Praise be to the sleigh, for without it the Christmas component would have been totally irrelevant.
The Christmas component is understandably muted in a show about monsters. We’re not going to get the usual feels out of this one and that’s fine. Instead, Christmas is merely a prop. It’s a way to decorate the scenery and make the mall a touch more interesting. In truth, you could take all of the Christmas stuff out of this one and it wouldn’t really change much. The only obstacle would be replacing the sleigh the dogs end up attached to. And it’s the presence of that sleigh that helps it pass my Christmas test since there isn’t an obvious replacement for it. It’s not like the dogs could pull one of those cars that are sometimes setup in the mall. Maybe a custodial cart? I don’t know, but there’s just enough Christmas that if it were all deleted the episode wouldn’t work.
All that being said, should you make time for “Gone Shopp’n” this holiday season? In a vacuum, probably not. If you’re marathoning the Nicktoons Christmas specials though, then sure, keep this one in the rotation. It’s brief since it only uses half of the show’s running time which is in contrast to most Nicktoons which dedicate the whole half hour to the holiday. It has it’s own flavor, and shows starring monsters are inherently cool, if you ask me. And should you wish to watch this, you can do so via Paramount+ or by purchasing one of the DVD releases of the show. It’s not particularly hard to come by and was released more than once so you have some options. Happy screaming!
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
I’m quite surprised to have made it all the way to December 19 without resorting to The Simpsons, American Dad!, Bob’s Burgers, or some other animated sitcom that has an annual, or near annual, Christmas episode. Not that I have been avoiding such shows, and I may turn to one again before this is all…
One of the most celebrated comic strips of all time is Krazy Kat by George Herriman. Krazy Kat debuted in the New York Evening Journal in 1913 and concluded its run in 1944. It contained a fairly simply premise where a cat named Krazy pined for a mouse named Ignatz, only the mouse hated the…
We look at a lot of Christmas stuff pulled from every day cartoons, for the most part. On occasion though, I suppose we should throw the Christians a bone and look at something a bit more secular. Yes, I think most people know Christmas was basically co-opted by the church many years ago, but it’s…
Come 2008, the DC Animated Universe had been dead for 2 years. Justice League Unlimited aired its final episode in 2006 bringing an end to something that had been ongoing since 1992. As I touched on earlier in this year’s countdown, the DCAU wasn’t something I was particularly invested in so it’s end went unnoticed by me. Hell, it’s continuation mostly went unnoticed as I stopped at Batman Beyond! With it in the past though, it seemed there was a desire at Warner to do something completely different. Enter Batman: The Brave and the Bold, a far more light-hearted and cheeky depiction of the caped crusader loosely based on the comic of the same name. The premise was to take Batman and focus on more contained stories that would feature a team-up between Batman and other DC superheroes, some of which would be well known and some that wouldn’t be. This new start came with a new art style and a new voice for Batman. Kevin Conroy (R.I.P.) will always be my Batman, but I get the desire to want to explore a different aspect of the hero which is how we ended up with Diedrich Bader. Bader’s more one-dimensional Batman is the anchor of this show. He has to take himself seriously and play the straight man in a world that is rather outlandish.
It’s a show that is not as campy as past Batman media, but it’s not as grim as the Batman of the 80s and 90s.
Despite all of that, Batman: The Brave and the Bold is not a show I sought out. It was sold to me as more of a kid’s show, and being well into my adult years at this point it didn’t make much sense to seek it out. Like Justice League, the show aired on Cartoon Network which just wasn’t really on my radar in 2008. I admired the visual style from afar, but that was as far as I went with it. Now, I’m more curious about the animated shows I passed on. I never fell out of love with cartoons, be they aimed at kids or adults, and if they’re well-animated then they have value to me. And let’s be honest, we’ve seen a ton of dark and gritty takes on Batman at this point. I love Batman ’89, Batman: The Animated Series, and Batman Begins – they’re all terrific, but at some point I just got tired of the same old Batman. I have yet to watch the latest film and I don’t have much desire to do so. A Batman that’s a bit more lighthearted where the individuals behind the production don’t take the character quite as seriously as others has appeal. I’m not saying let’s go back to the Adam West show and I definitely have no appreciation for the camp that was Batman & Robin, but something more offbeat can work. Batman is allowed to have a sense of humor.
The fifth production episode, and fourth to air, of Batman: The Brave in the Bold is the subject of today’s post. “Invasion of the Secret Santas” is going to team Batman up with Red Tornado, a character I have zero knowledge of. That’s part of the appeal of the show as it seeks to spotlight some lesser heroes in the DC back catalog. I assume it also intends to do the same with villains since today’s villain is another character I have zero experience with: Fun Haus. He certainly sounds like a villain that could work with a Christmas plot, and at least Red Tornado has red in his name. A green outfit leading to a red-green tornado would have really made him fit even more.
Tom Wilson is such a good voice actor, he doesn’t get enough accolades for his work in this area.
The way this show works, is it begins with a “teaser” that features Batman teamed up with a hero as they finish a job. It’s basically unrelated to the show’s main plot. And in this episode, we open with Batman (Bader) and Blue Beetle (voiced by former Batman Will Friedle) as they tangle with Sportsmaster (Tom Wilson)! It starts as a broadcast of The Professional Bowling League’s Christmas Tournament where the top bowlers in the country are competing for a sweet cash prize. Almost right away, Sportsmaster shows up to declare that bowling isn’t a real sport. Sportsmaster is basically a guy who has a costume composed of sports equipment. With him are a trio of goons one is a football player, one a baseball player, and the last is a hockey player. I’m not sure if he intends to steal anything or if he’s really out for money (he says he won’t steal their prize, but win it) or if this is more of a personal crusade against bowling. The bowlers don’t put up any sort of resistance apparently as we cut to them all placed in human-sized, transparent, bowling pins and the goons are setting them up. Sportsmaster then grabs a bowling ball, which is also a bomb, and rolls it in the direction of the pins. He’s a southpaw, in case you’re curious. Just before the ball strikes the pins a well-timed batarang intercepts it and detonates it before it can reach them. Enter Batman and The Blue Beetle!
I hope you’re not too attached to Blue Beetle, because he’s only here for a hot minute.
Batman is here to tell Sportsmaster he expected to find him…in the gutter! See, Batman gets to use puns with regularity now. Blue Beetle is basically just along for the ride. Sportsmaster welcomes the challenge, and Batman instructs Beetle to take the goons and leave Sportsmaster to him. Beetle is fine with that, but his suit might not be as he starts arguing with it and refers to it as a “goober.” Since only Blue Beetle can hear what the suit is saying (and that is true for us, the audience), it sounds like he’s insulting Batman, but he just ignores it. Beetle is embarrassed and a bit angry with his apparently sentient suit (I guess I should have watched the movie that came out this year), but orders it to conjure up some weapons for him to tackle the baddies with. It responds by morphing both forearms into Mega Buster-like canons, which is certainly aided in that both characters rely heavily on the color blue. Beetle requests something less likely to level the place and the suit responds by just bulking him up, and he seems satisfied. I had no idea Blue Beetle operated in such a fashion.
You didn’t really think a guy in sports equipment was going to be much of a match for Batman, did you?
Meanwhile, Batman is battling Sportsmaster who is tossing several bowling balls at him. Batman just punches them out of the air causing them to shatter so this is one beefy bat. He closes in on the villain, who responds with kicks as he’s apparently “sporting” some rather fiendish cleats. Unable to connect with Batman, Sportsmaster tries to make a run for it, but Batman is able to take him out with a bowling pin. Blue Beetle had no difficulty with the goons and the two regroup to bask in the glow of a job well done. Beetle then tries inviting Batman back to his place for Christmas Eve dinner, boasting that his mom is a great cook so he apparently still lives at home, but Batman turns him down on account of the fact that crime doesn’t take a holiday. Smash to intro!
I don’t think that eye color is natural.
After a pretty spectacular intro with an old school flair (think Johnny Quest), we settle on a small town gearing up for Christmas. We see some festive sights around town before the camera takes us to a university. It’s there a professor is teaching an archeology class. Professor Ulthoon (Corey Burton) takes a question from a kid (James Arnold Taylor) wondering if archeology is as exciting as someone like Indiana Jones makes it out to be, and the professor is forced to tell him that it is not. It’s mostly reading books. When he turns to address the kid we see his eyes are an unnatural shade of blue and his rather stilted speech would imply this gentleman is not human.
Meet Red Tornado, the communist superhero!
The sound of a runaway box truck gets the professor’s attention. He apparently has a super sense of hearing to notice the out of control vehicle and excuses himself from class for a moment. Once the door is shut behind him, he rips off his whole face to reveal a robotic one underneath. This, ladies and gentlemen, is Red Tornado! He whirls into action to save two children about to be struck by this vehicle, which comes to a complete stop shortly after, and delivers them to their father. There he tells the old man that his children need to be more mindful of traffic and he receives no objections from the man and his two kids. They thank him for saving them and for all that he does and make a reference to The Christmas Spirit in doing so. Red Tornado responds with, “Christmas…spirit?” as he’s apparently unfamiliar with the term. The boy (Zachary Gordon) describes it as a tingling feeling you get inside and when Red Tornado confesses he’s unfamiliar with that emotion the little girl (Liliana Mumy) laughs at him like he’s an idiot – “Of course you can’t, you’re a robot!” The three all have a hearty laugh while Red Tornado looks legitimately hurt.
Decorating is apparently quite easy when you’re some sort of magic tornado machine.
Later, we find Red Tornado as his alter ego back at his home. He’s just standing in his living room at first, but then it cuts to him seated on his sofa reading a book titled Get That Holiday Spirit! He closes it, apparently finished, and then goes into a whirling tornado form once more. As a tornado, he decorates the exterior of his house with holiday decorations and then the interior. We see him putting on a festive, ugly, Christmas sweater and he stands in the living room looking things over. Deciding that he’s still missing something, we cut to him knocking on someone’s door. It’s the man and the two kids from earlier and when they all answer the door, Professor Ulthoon (he’s apparently not concerned about giving away his identity) clears his throat and begins to sing “Jingle Bells” in a very monotone, emotionless, fashion. The family just slams the door in his face leaving poor Red Tornado looking rather sad.
It’s something Jack Skellington struggled with too, buddy.
Back at his home, we find the professor working out an equation on a chalkboard. He seems to hypothesize that decorations plus lights plus presents plus caroling equals Christmas Spirit. Or he’s dividing by Christmas Spirit. My algebra teacher would have scolded me for writing an equation like this. Nonetheless, it would seem he can’t figure out why he has yet to feel this so-called Christmas Spirit given that he’s done what he feels is required. The television is on in the background and a black and white movie is on where a father asks his son if he’d like to know the true meaning of Christmas? Red Tornado responds out loud with, “Yes, please elaborate,” only for the movie to be interrupted by a news broadcast. Flying saucers are attacking the city and there’s a transmission from a Neptunian Leader (Friedle) demanding that Earth hand over the one known as Santa Claus. The anchor then informs us that Batman is on the scene and alone in defending Earth from these alien invaders. Not for long as the professor dawns his Red Tornado guise intent on joining the fray.
Oh, hell yeah!
We cut to a close-up of some woman screaming as she and several others run for their lives. The flying saucers are blasting everything in sight, but Batman is on the scene. He’s shown riding on top of one of the saucers stabbing it repeatedly with a batarang. He sends it careening into the ground, does a backflip off of it, and takes out several others with batarangs in the process. He moves to another saucer and as he rides and stabs some more he’s able to direct the ship’s weapon blasts at other saucers in the process. He eventually sends that one crashing into a giant Christmas tree which goes up in flames, hopefully not an omen of what’s to come. Batman remarks to himself this isn’t how he imagined spending Christmas and soon deploys a jetpack of sorts. Why he didn’t use this thing from the beginning is a mystery. When he’s about to get nailed by a few more flying saucers, he’s saved by the entering Red Tornado. The robot wishes Batman a “Merry Christmas,” and responds by saying “Now’s not the time, Red Tornado.” This confuses Red Tornado who asks, “Isn’t Christmas tomorrow?” and I like his very literal response.
This is the team-up we’re getting, whether wanted or not.
Batman is unable to explain the nuances of the English language at this time to Red Tornado for they’re still under attack. They manage to avoid the saucers and return to the offensive with Red Tornado capable of taking them out with relative ease. He mentions to Batman that Neptune is uninhabited, to which the caped crusader responds with “No kidding.” He instructs the robot to search his database for Christmas movies featuring aliens and Red Tornado is able to find one: Holiday for Neptunians. He is also able to confirm the broadcast they saw earlier on television was taken from the film. Batman then tells him he’ll draw their fire so that Red Tornado can do his thing. He takes off forcing the saucers to fly in a group after Batman. Red Tornado is then able to line them up and blast them with…red tornadoes. That’s basically all he does.
Being a detective is pretty easy when all of the bad guys put their face on their weapons.
With the saucers now obliterated, the two return to the ground. Batman’s jetpack just sort of magically turns back into a cape. It makes no sense, but it looks pretty cool, and this is a cartoon about superheroes battling flying saucers so I’ll allow it. Batman examines the debris and finds a marking on it indicating it’s a toy. Red Tornado suggests he can search his database for the logo, but Batman tells him he won’t find it. Red Tornado comes back to say he could not locate it’s source, which seems to irritate Batman since he already told him he won’t. This logo is actually a mark of today’s villain. A flying saucer flies into view and from it emerges Fun Haus (Gary Anthony Williams)!
Fun Haus is clearly Toyman and that doll is definitely supposed to look like Baby Doll.
Fun Haus looks like a scary jester of some kind. He looks like a villain from the old Super Friends shows, but I’m pretty sure he was called the Toyman or something. A little bit of research tells me that Fun Haus is indeed meant to resemble that version of Toyman, so look at that. He’s shown standing in the saucer holding a doll which looks an awful lot like Baby Doll from Batman: The Animated Series. As he caresses her hair, he remarks to the pair that he was just playing with his toys asking rhetorically “Is that so wrong?” Red Tornado, who has to take everything seriously, confirms that it is indeed quite wrong and adds that most of the things Fun Haus does are wrong. He starts listing off all of his crimes he can find in his database until Batman basically tells him that’s enough once he hits jaywalking. He then tells Fun Haus “If you think we’re going to let you continue your deranged rampage you’re wrong.” Fun Haus is unimpressed and simply retorts, “If if’s and but’s were candy nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas!”
Spoiler alert, this is not the most unsettling image we’ll see from this one.
Fun Haus lobbs some threatening words at the heroes before pulling the drawstring on his dolly and tossing it to Batman. He flies off in his saucer as Batman catches the doll. As he looks it over, the doll’s head spins around and asks “Won’t you play with me?” When it does, the eyes fade to black and the doll’s right eye is replaced with a red, digital, “1” and the left eye a zero. Batman cries out, “It’s a bomb!” and we get a suspenseful act break. When we return from the break, the doll adds “My Christmas wish is to blow everything to smithereens.” This must be the hot, holiday, item for this year. Batman instructs Red Tornado to give this doll some altitude as he chucks it high into the air. Red Tornado obliges and blasts the doll ever higher where it detonates harmlessly.
Batman probably has an entire cupboard full of these things. What else is a hero supposed to gift a billionaire?!
Red Tornado then declares that they cannot let Fun Haus ruin Christmas. Batman sort of corrects him by saying Fun Haus is a crook first implying they just need to stop whatever scheme he’s up to. Christmas is apparently of little concern to Batman. He then asks, “Besides, why do you care?” in response to Red Tornado’s apparent concern about Christmas. Red Tornado then confesses it’s because he lacks Christmas Spirit and it’s something he would like to experience. Batman retorts that it’s overrated forcing Red Tornado to observe that he is not the only one lacking in Christmas Spirit. He then hypothesizes that something will help the both of them and produces a gift for Batman. He responds with “You shouldn’t have,” and I get the sense that he means that sincerely. He opens it anyway and finds a black coffee mug with the words “World’s Greatest Detective” printed on it.
Young Bruce clearly going for a Dennis the Menace look with that hairstyle.
This apparently triggers something in Batman as the screen gets all wavy and we see a flashback. It’s Christmas morning at Wayne Manor and little Bruce is making a b-line for the tree. His parents are standing by along with Alfred and his dad asks him what Santa brought for him. Young Bruce (Gordon) inspects a gift by shaking it, testing its weight, and seems to know what’s inside causing his dad (Burton) to remark “Our little detective.” He then rips it open, but we don’t get to see what’s inside (not yet, at least) as we’re taken back to the present. Batman is just staring at the gift while Red Tornado observes that he’s still not detecting any Christmas Spirit within the crime fighter. Batman snaps out of it and points out that he doesn’t have a gift for Red Tornado. He’s unbothered by this as he points out that he understands it’s the giving, not the receiving, that best exemplifies the Christmas Spirit. He’s then left wondering why he still doesn’t sense it within him and asks Batman to confirm that it’s a tingling sensation, no? Batman just smiles and says “When you start tingling, I’d see a repairman.” He then reminds him that they need to resume their hunt for Fun Haus and the pair dash away.
A barber shop with a space theme – I’d check it out.
We’re treated to a few shots of the town basically healing after the attack by Fun Haus. Some guy with a barber shop has incorporated one of the fallen saucers into his sign and is stringing lights over it while the giant tree that was half burned has been relit. A couple of kids approach a Santa seated in a sleigh and ask him if he has any Presto Playpal toys left, but he’s apparently just a robot and only responds with “Ho ho ho.” This seems like something that might scare these kids. Above the city, Batman and Red Tornado are flying past and the robot inquires with Batman why he dislikes Christmas so much? Batman corrects him and says he does not dislike Christmas – he dislikes crime! Batman is so single-minded that he doesn’t even have room in his heart to dislike anything but crime.
You kids ever want to see Santa’s eyes explode from their sockets?!
As he says that line, Batman spies a Santa stumbling through people on the sidewalk and the two head down to get a closer look. Batman accuses him of sipping too much eggnog, but we the audience recognize this Santa as the same robot one from just a moment earlier. His face is frozen in a smile and the “Ho ho ho” emerges from it same as before. Santa then dispatches the two heroes with a double uppercut, much to their surprise. From their backsides, Batman informs this imposter Claus that he just made the naughty list, while Red Tornado makes the useful observation that Santa does not typically behave in this manner. Batman points out that’s because this guy isn’t Santa. As the robot turns its attention towards the many pedestrians in the street, Batman nails him through the chest with a Batarang. The robot goes through a surprisingly gratuitous death scene that includes a close-up of its eyes bulging out of its head and exploding before the whole thing catches fire. Like a Terminator, this thing has a pretty detailed endoskeleton which stands in the middle of the street for a moment as all of the “flesh” is burned away before falling into a heap of Santa bones on the ground. I thought this show was for little kids?!
Geez…this show goes hard!
Batman and Red Tornado approach the remains to inspect it, when the sound of more Santa laughter causes them to whirl around. An army of these things are waiting for them and the head on the apparent lead Claus pops open to reveal a monitor with an expected face to follow. Fun Haus then makes the same observation as me by sarcastically stating “Gee, that won’t give kids nightmares,” as he taunts Batman and Red Tornado from the safety of his base, or wherever he is. The Santas then attack and Batman and Red Tornado brawl with them in the streets. The same screaming woman we got a close-up of earlier gets another chance to shine screaming just as she did before. These Santas seem like they’re here to just be bad guys as one walks over to a little girl and snatches her teddy bear so it can rip it in half. They don’t seem that interested in just hurting people. Some people are also shown running from a department store and the character model for one of the ladies running out appears to be a direct homage to “Christmas with the Joker” as she looks pretty much exactly like the older woman a kid returns a purse to when Batman and Robin are on patrol. A fun little Easter egg for those who have been watching Batman cartoons for a long time.
Gray-haired lady on the right appears to be another BTAS cameo.
Back at that big tree and sleigh, those kids are still pestering the obviously robotic Santa. Apparently this wasn’t the unit that Batman and Red Tornado encountered a moment ago. The eyes on the Santa flip to red as it stands up and the kids start screaming. This apparently scares the reindeer – yes, apparently they were real, who start running. Batman sees this going down and throws a batarang that cuts the harness off one of the four reindeer. That leaves three still pulling the sleigh which is flying down the street at this point. The freed reindeer continues running as well, and Batman leaps onto its back leaving Red Tornado to handle the other robot Santas, which he is apparently more than capable of doing. Batman is able to ride the reindeer alongside the sleigh until he’s able to jump on it just before it looks like the Santa robot is about to actually harm the children. He punches the head of the robot off of the body and it comes to land at the feet of the children. Batman tells them to pretend they didn’t see that and they respond with a scream.
Good thing you brought your robot friend, Batman, because that was a tough one.
The scream was apparently not due to the severed Santa head at their feet, but because the sleigh was heading towards a cliff. What city is situated this close to a giant cliff? It’s actually a bit humorous how they went from a city center to a setting that is pretty remote, but hey, it’s good suspense! The sleigh goes over the cliff, and if you were watching this on television back in 2008 you would have to sit through a commercial break to find out if Batman can save himself, the children, and the three reindeer still attached to the sleigh. And the answer is…he can’t, but Red Tornado can! The sleigh basically levels off and starts flying causing one of the kids to declare it a Christmas miracle. We pan back enough to see Red Tornado flying beside the sleigh as he created a whirlwind below it that is holding the sleigh in place. I don’t think tornadoes work that way, but as has been the case with a lot of stuff in this one so far, we’ll allow it.
The toy at the top of every kid’s Christmas list.
We return to the city and Batman and Red Tornado appear to be surveying the wreckage. I’m guessing they’re looking for clues, but they’re interrupted by the sound of a child crying. Red Tornado approaches and asks the boy’s father, who is standing with him, if the child was frightened by the Santa carnage. The dad says, “Nah,” the kid just wants some toy. The Presto Playpal is the hot toy, and the same one the kids earlier were asking Santa for, but it’s sold out. This triggers another flashback for Batman and we return to the same scene of him opening a present under the tree as a child. Little Bruce unwraps the gift to find it contains a nutcracker. He looks surprised and Thomas Wayne chimes in that it was a gift given to him by his grandfather and now he’s passing it onto Bruce. A sweet sentiment, but apparently Thomas doesn’t know his kid too well. Bruce gets mad because it’s not the swashbuckler action figure (aka Zorro!) he asked for. He chucks the nutcracker at the wall and it bursts into pieces as he runs off. Thomas is left to look downtrodden on the couch while Alfred is left to silently pick up the pieces.
Batman always has a pretty sweet ride.
When we return to the present, Batman looks a bit pissed. I’m expecting him to teach a harsh lesson about material possessions to this boy, but the sound of an alarm snaps him out of his trance. It’s one of the busted Santa robots, the one with a display monitor, and Fun Haus appears once again. He’s there to taunt him with his last setup, “‘Twas the night before Christmas, and I’ve hidden a bomb!” Batman and Red Tornado are forced to spring into action with Red Tornado searching from the skies and Batman from the Batmobile, which has a really cool design in this one that feels like a mashup of the ’66 Batmobile and the one from Batman Forever. Both heroes apparently have some sort of bomb-detecting radar and they just search all over town for this thing. Eventually, we see it’s 6:40 and the pinkish tint to the sky means it’s morning. Batman and Red Tornado are shown regrouping where Red Tornado refers to the bomb threat as “a wild goose chase.” I wasn’t aware he was able to speak so figuratively. Batman wonders what Fun Haus was trying to distract them from, and Red Tornado suggests Christmas morning. We then center on a theater marque that says “Happy Holidays” as Red Tornado expresses his hope that both he and Batman get what they want this year.
Spoiled little brat! Don’t you know your dad is about to die?!
The shot on the marquee fades into another flashback. The Waynes are leaving a showing of The Mark of Zorro, and I think we’re going to find out why Batman isn’t a big fan of Christmas. Any Batman fan knows what happens when little Bruce sees a Zorro flick with his mom and dad, but I don’t recall that fateful night ever occurring on Christmas before. As the family leaves the theater, Thomas bends down and acknowledges that Bruce didn’t get the toy he wanted for Christmas, but he hopes the swashbuckler movie helped to make up for that. Young Bruce just scowls and turns away and the disappointment on the face of Thomas pains me more as a viewer than if he just got angry with his spoiled son. He indicates it’s time to head home and the family starts walking into that fateful alley. Two gunshots rings out and all we see is a muzzle flash for each one before hearing Bruce cry out “Mom! Dad!”
Judging by mom’s expression, the action figure must have been dad’s idea because she has “I told you so,” written all over her face.
We return to the present to find a stern Batman once again, only this time he reacts to his memory by stating, “Sometimes what you wish for most is the one thing you can never have.” Red Tornado says nothing, but that might sting for him a bit and his quest to experience the Christmas Spirit. Batman then notices that on a nearby poster advertising the Presto Playpal is the mark of Fun Haus. Really, Batman? You’re a master detective and you didn’t notice the face of Fun Haus on these posters all over town? Recognizing the evil plan about to unfold, we then find ourselves taken to a nearby home. A young boy is excited to unwrap a Presto Playpal, until the toy comes to life and smashes its way out of the blister package. It goes after the kid’s parents and swipes his mother’s necklace before jumping out of the window and taking off.
A scheme that would make the Grinch proud.
A montage ufolds of similar experiences of kids opening these toys and promptly getting robbed. That’s apparently the end game of Fun Haus – steal Christmas! It’s pretty amusing to see one, little, action figure dragging boxes of presents out of a house while the family just looks on in horror. Just step on the damn thing! They take all of their loot to a box truck for Fun Haus and there’s basically an assembly line of toys delivering their loot while Fun Haus basks in the success of his glorious heist from the roof of the truck. Batman arrives and does as I suggested – he steps on a toy. He informs Fun Haus that he’ll be serving hard time by New Year’s, while Fun Haus counters with “Not if you’re in the grave by lunch!” Ohh, delicious!
Fun Haus is clearly an evil genius. Who else could have invented this thing?!
Fun Haus hits a button on his belt and the toy soldiers form-up in response. They jump on each other’s shoulders forming stacks of three, then we get an animation cheat where they jump together and a bright light obscures everything as they form a massive version of the Presto Playpal. Fun Haus appears in a cockpit located in the machine’s chest, like a Gundam, and informs Batman and Red Tornado that if he can’t steal from these people at Christmas, then he’ll steal Christmas from these people! I guess that’s a sweaty death threat as he then just tries to stomp on the people who came out for a peek. The screaming lady returns for a third time and this time it did get a chuckle out of me. Batman and Red Tornado spring into action by saving people from getting murdered by Fun Haus, but they’re unable to save the town water tower which says “Happy Holidays” on it. Fun Haus blows it up. That water tower has been in the community for generations – has he no shame?!
Don’t do it, Red Tornado!
Red Tornado approaches and declares that he will do no further harm. He starts blasting the mighty robot with his trademarked red tornadoes, but declares he needs more power. He apparently possesses it, as some flaps open up and his tornadoes increase in size and intensity. Soon it starts to break the robot apart, while Batman shouts from the ground for Tornado to stop since his body can’t handle that much output. And it looks like he’s right as cracks start to appear on Red Tornado’s body. The mecha toy thing explodes and we see Fun Haus go flying through the air. He’s really high, and he goes really far, so he might be really dead when he hits the ground.
Well, that sucks.
We don’t have time to worry about Fun Haus though, as Red Tornado looks to be in rather bad shape. He’s all cracked and broken, but he notices he feels something – a tingling sensation! Is it the Christmas Spirit? Or, as Batman suggested earlier, he needs to see a repairman? Batman looks to have the leading theory as Red Tornado explodes. His head winds up at the feet of Batman who picks it up and urges him to hang on referring to him as an old friend in the process. I had no idea they went way back!
Worry not children, for Red Tornado is a robot and he can be rebuilt!
We cut to Fun Haus being loaded into a police car. He looks no worse for ware so maybe he landed on a pillow factory or something. We then pan to a truck branded to be from Star Labs. A guy has a box of Red Tornado body parts that he hands off to another fellow in the truck. This episode has a lot of mild body horror, doesn’t it? We then hear Batman assuring Red Tornado that they’ll have him back together in no time. A gurney is wheeled in and we see Red Tornado’s head has been returned to his torso and he’s alert. Red Tornado then tells Batman it was an amazing feeling. Batman doesn’t try to discourage him and simply smiles and responds with, “Merry Christmas.” Red Tornado smiles in return as he’s loaded into the truck.
I had a feeling we’d find out what happened to that old nutcracker before this one was over.
As the truck pulls away, the Batmobile comes speeding over. Batman hops in and is startled to see a present on the passenger seat. He opens it to find the old nutcracker from his flashback has been put back together. It’s a little rough looking, but looks pretty good considering what happened to it. Batman smiles warmly and we hear him think to himself, “Merry Christmas to you too, Alfred,” implying that his loyal butler re-assembled the toy and placed it in the Batmobile before he left the previous night. The dashboard then starts beeping and Batman’s face hardens as we hear him declare (in his head) “But crime doesn’t take a holiday, and neither do I!” He steps on the gas and the Batmobile goes speeding off towards the source of the beeping and it would appear that there will be no rest for Batman this Christmas.
The episode does a good job of giving equal weight to both Batman and Red Tornado, who gets to experience the true feeling of Christmas without having to crack open a can of 7Up.
“Invasion of the Secret Santas” was a pretty fun little adventure for Batman and Red Tornado. For me, it was an introduction to Red Tornado who I can’t recall ever encountering before this. There are a lot of DC superheroes that I’m not familiar with, but usually I can at least say I’ve seen them in artwork or something, but with Red Tornado I have no frame of reference. It’s amusing to me that I looked at the Justice League Christmas episode earlier this year because Red Tornado and Martian Manhunter play similar roles as emotionless beings seeking to connect with Christmas. With Red Tornado, he’s more eager to experience an emotion he has no reference for. Maybe because the audience for this show was intended to skew younger is why Red Tornado is so vocal about his desire where as we’re expected to observe J’onn’s struggles in that episode without them being made so obvious. Though I’d argue it’s not exactly subtle, either. I wasn’t that enamored with the Justice League episode, but I like this. This show has a terrific visual style and it’s not really trying to look like a 90’s cartoon animated traditionally. It’s more willing to embrace the digital medium with bright colors, thick lines, and an intentional flatness to the characters. Batman himself reminds me a little bit of the character’s depiction in the minimally animated intro to the classic 1960s show. And it still has room for a little subtlety of its own, or at least audience autonomy, when it comes to Red Tornado’s experience of the Christmas Spirit in the end. Was it a mere malfunction, or something more? You decide.
I wasn’t expecting the episode to add a touch of sadness to this version of Batman, but it’s welcomed. Maybe this show has more depth than I thought? Or maybe this is just a Christmas thing?
The depiction of Batman is also a lot of fun. He dishes out the corny one-liners, but with total sincerity. Diedrich Bader sounds authentic and he plays it straight so there isn’t a winking at the camera moment when it comes to Batman. He’s also allowed to possess some dry humor, though is largely a no-nonsense straight man expected to play off of his ally for a given episode. It was interesting to see Christmas incorporated into his origin story and actually surprising to see a new layer of grief added to that. It’s a very similar tactic to what we’ve seen done with Spider-Man’s origin. I think of the first Toby Maguire film where he basically tells off his Uncle Ben and his last discussion with him is one in which he hurt his father figure. He never got to make up for that, and Batman never got to apologize to his own dad for how he reacted to a very personal and meaningful gift that went unappreciated. Separately, it’s also interesting to see young Bruce portrayed as a spoiled, little, rich kid as opposed to some ideal. It makes more sense for him to behave that way as a rich kid so in a way it was sort of refreshing. And it can be inferred that the murder of his parents gave him some new perspective and began his transformation from a very selfish child to a selfless adult. The ending also has a hint of sadness, or melancholy, to it since Batman is so focused on being this crime fighter that he won’t even allow himself a moment’s reprieve after an all-nighter dealing with Fun Haus.
Despite the nice little bow put on this one, the lasting image for me is definitely this gruesome Santa “death.” Good god!
The actual scheme of the episode is almost secondary. It incorporates Christmas in a pretty simple and direct manner and having a toy-themed villain for the episode definitely makes a lot of sense. I have no idea why they chose to call him Fun Haus instead of Toyman, since he appears to just be Toyman, but it doesn’t matter either. There’s some solid action, including the opening teaser with Blue Beetle, though it does start to get repetitive. There are lots of shots of Batman just taking enemies out with Batarangs and more than enough shots of Red Tornado and his tornado effect. That’s my one criticism for this one as it didn’t need to be as long as it is and was starting to drag come the climax. Maybe some of the action could have been substituted with another flashback, something that took place after the murder, or maybe just some actual detective work. It was a pretty lame reveal to have Batman see the Fun Haus logo on the poster for the most popular Christmas toy of the year, but I get the impression this show isn’t trying to be overly clever with its plot. The violence directed towards the Santa robots was certainly memorable and downright shocking to a point. I found it fun, but it wouldn’t surprise me if some kids are legitimately disturbed by it. That frozen, smiling, Santa face is a bit unsettling.
This episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold is an easy recommend for me and I think a viewer only needs to have a basic understanding of who Batman is to enjoy it. I’m talking like just knowing that there’s a character that dresses in tights to fight bad guys at night sort of thing. There’s genuine humor in this one and it even has moments of actual emotion via the flashbacks. I do wish the “death” of Red Tornado hit a little harder, but it’s fine. I found more here to connect with than the intentionally sappy episode of Justice League and consider this episode a far greater success in basically every way which isn’t something I expected going in. And it’s also aided by having a fun visual style, great sound design, and some solid performances from the actors involved. Like Justice League, this one was rumored to be getting delisted from the Max platform, but it appears it has received a stay of execution and is still there as of this post going live. The series was released multiple times on both DVD and Blu Ray so it’s not that hard to obtain and it might even be a series worth watching beyond this Christmas episode. I’m certainly interested in doing so, which is why it’s such a shame to see Discovery Warner play games with these tentpole franchises. Why can’t we just have easy access to your stuff, Warner Bros? Are the tax savings worth the constant worry of losing access to quality shows like this one? To a heartless executive, I’m afraid the answer is “Yes.”
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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This year, I’ve taken some time out to watch Christmas episodes of shows I’m pretty unfamiliar with. This is yet another one of those posts, only with this show I did make an attempt to get into it. A mild one. We Bare Bears is a show created by Daniel Chong that aired on Cartoon Network from July 2015 to May 2019. That’s a nice overlap with my early years of parenthood and I often found this show about three bear brothers playing in the evening hours. I tried to see if I could get my kids into it as I wanted to spend some time at the end of the day watching TV with them as my parents had done with me. It feels like there can be a negative stigma about a family sitting around the TV tuning each other out, but I always found it to be more collaborative and it’s really enjoyable when everyone can enjoy the show. That part can be challenging when you’re trying to appease toddlers and adults, but it can be done. Unfortunately, We Bare Bears did not become that show for my family and I, but I don’t blame the show for that.
We Bare Bears is essentially a show about fitting in. The main characters of Grizzly, Panda, and Ice Bear are obviously bears who live mostly like regular bears. They are anthropomorphized to a degree as they talk and walk upright, but they’re still bears living in a predominantly human world. They have some animal instincts, and a bit like a teenager first setting out, there’s an excitement for the bears whenever they uncover something new to them. It’s a digitally animated show, but one that’s in 2D with an emphasis made to have the show resemble a water colors production. It animates pretty well from what little I have seen and also has a solid cast of voice actors to bring the characters to life. Episodes for the show are about 11 minutes, and while there seems to be plenty of episodes where the bears learn a lesson of some kind, the show is predominantly a comedy where the humor is situation-based as opposed to one that relies on one-liners or non-sequiturs. The bears each have their own distinct personality and they, for some reason, travel in a stack with Ice Bear on the bottom and Grizzly on the top and Panda situated in the middle.
During the show’s second season it was decided that Christmas would be a topic. “Christmas Parties” is an episode about social obligations and how to manage them. It’s also an episode about acknowledging who your real friends are and making sure they feel loved and appreciated and Christmas is a pretty good time of year for such reassurance. It’s not the only Christmas episode for this show, but it is the first, and its simple premise attracted me to it. If I like it, maybe I’ll bring the bears back next year with a look at one of their other Christmas episodes.
Big bears need a big tree, I guess.
The episode begins in the den of the bears. A festive yule log is on display and the music of “Oh Tannenbaum” is softly playing. It sounds very similar to the Vince Guaraldi trio version from A Charlie Brown Christmas, but I don’t know if it’s that exact recording or not. A tell-tale triangle image pops up indicating this is an online video of some kind. Panda (Bobby Moynihan) presses play and the video restarts. He’s seated on the couch sipping a hot beverage while Grizzly (Eric Edelstein) is doing some holiday decorating. Both look nice and festive as Grizz is sporting a Santa hat and Panda a scarf. Grizz is having some issues hanging the stockings and Panda offers up some vegan nogg, which contains no eggs, but an abundance of nogg! Grizz politely declines and then a pounding of the door indicates the arrival of Ice Bear (Demetri Martin) who has returned with the Christmas tree. It’s massive, and when Panda points this out Ice Bear dismisses him with an “Ice Bear’s motto: go big or go home,” but, he is home?
The invitation from Charlie is obviously the best.
The tree discussion is interrupted by the mailman who has to shove the mail through the tree clogging the door. The bears are excited to find invitations to not one, not two, but three separate Christmas parties! Panda is particularly happy as they usually just stay home and eat, but now they have a place to be! As they look over the invites, an email from Nom Nom comes through. The bears are perplexed at this development as apparently they do not see eye-to-eye with the famous koala, but it’s yet another invite to a Christmas party! And since Nom Nom is some big shot influencer type, it’s looking like it’s going to be the party to end all parties. The capper being that every guest gets a free puppy! It’s just like Bridesmaids! The only solution to this sudden predicament is for the bears to go to all four parties tonight setting a timer for each one so they don’t miss Nom Nom’s. Grizz is pretty stoked as the bears set out to try to pull this thing off.
Hard to blame the bears for wanting to bail on this party.
Up first is Ranger Tabes (Cameron Esposito) who is hosting a party for the bears and the other rangers at the ranger outpost. When the bears arrive, they find a very excited and enthusiastic Tabes, but no one else present appears to share in her excitement. There’s a fellow female ranger eating some snacks, an old guy sleeping in a recliner, and a bearded fellow sipping a beverage who at least acknowledges the bears upon entering by raising his cup. Tabes is excited the bears have arrived so that they can help liven things up. Her solution? Limbo! They break out a candy cane patterned pole and get everyone on their feet, including the sleeping guy, with some tunes from a boom box. Things were getting pretty intense, but then Panda’s alarm goes off. Time for the bears to run though Tabes can hardly believe they’re bailing already. As they rush out, the boom box gets knocked over and the spicy limbo music is accidentally switched to “Silent Night” and the party is back to being lame.
I feel like we could use an entire episode about Christmas with Big Foot.
Up next is a party at Charlie’s house. Charlie (Jason Lee) is the local big foot who has decorated a large tree for his party. The bears come upon it and aren’t sure where the party is, until Charlie pops out of the tree to tell them it’s inside! The bears climb inside and are pretty confused why Charlie would have a party in an actual tree. Charlie seems to think it’s the only place you can have a proper Christmas party and his cheerful demeanor is not at all insulted. Charlie then points out how his party is plenty traditional because he has everything needed for a traditional Christmas party. He’s got cards (two squirrels playing Poker or a similar game) stockings hung with care (underwear full of rodents), reindeer (a deer clinging to a branch for “dear” life while Charlie pours water over its head) and food which is eggs with the word “Nogg” written on them. What Charlie doesn’t have, and needs help finding, is a star for the tree. He starts rummaging through a box of junk and seems to settle on a fractured doll head which would make a mighty creepy tree topper. Before they can get too far into this exercise, Panda’s alarm goes off and they have to go. Charlie seems sad, but the alarm knows when it’s time to go. They leave, but Ice Bear at least remembers to thank the sasquatch for the eggnog.
How can bears, creatures that are typically known for making decisions based on their stomach, turn down a spread like that?!
The next party is the home of Chloe Park and the bears are already behind schedule as it took them too long to get out of that tree. Chloe (Charlyne Yi) is a young, Korean, girl though she and her family aren’t drawn in a way that makes them look obviously Korean. She welcomes them into the home and the bears have to have their paws inspected before entering since they don’t wear shoes they can remove. Chloe is enthusiastic, like Tabes and Charlie before her, to have the bears over for Christmas and she leads them into the dining room where her family has gathered for Christmas dinner. They’re having what I assume is a traditional Korean dinner and are seated on pillows at a low table covered with delicious looking food. The bears look immediately distressed knowing they don’t have time to stay for dinner, but Chloe is insistent that they join her family at the table. Jon (Bert Youn), Chloe’s cousin, is immediately amused to see real bears as they try to fit under the table. The table gets jostled around prompting the others to look a little concerned, except Jon who laughs and points out their size. Chloe shushes him and tells the bears to ignore him.
And that’s why you won’t find carpet in my house.
Chloe’s dad (Jinkoo Jeong) then sets down the turkey and encourages everyone to start. Grizz and the other bears are clearly at a crisis here because the food looks so good, but they know they have to leave in order to make it to Nom Nom’s party. And sure enough, the alarm does go off. The bears try to excuse themselves, but Chloe tells them not to be ridiculous on account of the fact that they just got there. Chloe’s grandmother then tries putting items on Panda’s plate while Chloe force-feeds Grizz. Jon takes a moment to ask Ice Bear what baby seals taste like. He doesn’t offer a response, but does not appear amused by the question. Chloe’s grandma then starts putting meat items on Panda’s plate which causes him to freak out a little since he’s a vegetarian, but when he points that out she just replies with “Yes.” Panda’s alarm goes off again, and now they really feel like they need to leave. The bears awkwardly rise from the table, but in the process accidentally flip it over spilling all of the contents on the carpet. They look supremely embarrassed and offer apologies, but Chloe is clearly upset while the rest of the adults seem too shocked to respond, except Jon who laughs. The bears then try to help clean up, but Chloe tells them to just go. Her parents try to reassure them everything is fine as they awkwardly make their way out. Jon calls after them “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!”
Apparently Nom Nom sucks. They should feel bad about ditching Chloe for this.
The bears are making their way to Nom Nom’s residence and Panda seems pretty down. Grizz tries to raise the spirits of his brothers by dismissing what happened at Chloe’s as just an “off” party. They arrive at Nom Nom’s and it’s a massive house up on a hill. They enter to find an elaborately decorated rave that even Ice Bear has to admit is pretty impressive. There’s still some puppies left too, but as the bears walk through the room they get Nom Nom’s (Patton Oswalt) attention. Apparently, they weren’t supposed to be invited and Nom Nom has no problems letting them know they’re unwanted. He also fires his event coordinator and begins laying into the bears, but finds he’s on camera. This must be getting livestreamed or something and Nom Nom screaming at some bears would not be a good look for him as he changes his tone. He tries to make friends with the bears and even hands them a puppy, but once the camera is off he demands they get out!
That’s pretty damn adorable.
Outside, the bears are alone with their thoughts and their newly acquired puppy, who appears to be a german shepherd or something. They realize the obvious in that by prioritizing the hip party thrown by the guy they don’t even like they ended up hurting the people they care about the most. Grizz rises up and says he has an idea, and we spring forth into a montage! First, we see the bears all stacked up and running through the night each wearing festive attire including Ice Bear who now has reindeer antlers. They first arrive at the ranger station and leave a gift for Tabes on the front porch. It’s full of holes and that’s for a good reason as the box jumps out of her hands and the puppy the bears got at Nom Nom’s emerges. He’s someone that can match her energy and she’s delighted by the gift and the two immediately start playing.
I would say that tree looks pretty good in spite of its decorator.
Next is Charlie’s tree where the bears leave a box for him to find. He opens and inside is the Nom Nom-shaped tree topper from the party only they scribbled over Nom Nom’s face. Charlie looks excited to have a star for his tree and it cuts to him removing the creepy doll head from the top of the tree and replacing it with…the box the star was in. No matter, as he seems pretty happy to have a cardboard box over the top of his tree.
Makeup dinner.
Last, and definitely not least, is Chloe’s house. Now it’s Christmas morning, and Chloe has come downstairs rubbing her eyes roused from her slumber by an enchanting aroma. A feast has been set out and the family is most confused. Naturally, that’s because it was prepared by the bears who welcome them all to the table for Christmas dinner…or breakfast. There’s a turkey, so it’s a bit confusing, but the gesture is sweet. Grizz apologizes for what happened last night and the family rushes over with excitement, except Chloe who looks shocked. Ice Bear then hands her what he deems a peace offering and it looks like a pastry of some kind. Chloe accepts it with a smile while Grizz reiterates that they’re sorry for last night and that they just want Chloe to know that they really care about her. Throughout all of this, the Guaraldi “Oh Tannenabum” is playing once again which adds to the sweet mood. The family, and the bears, all gather around the table and the soft chatter of a family enjoying a meal together takes us out.
Looks like those bears aren’t too bad in a kitchen.
Well that was certainly a sweet little Christmas episode. I don’t know a lot about this show, but I do know that I liked that. It was a simple setup in that the main characters had too many places to be at once and spread themselves too thin in the process. It wasn’t quite that simple, because they clearly have no love for Nom Nom and yet they prioritized attending his party (where they weren’t even welcome, it turns out) for superficial reasons and in the process hurt the feelings of their true friends. They probably could have visited Tabes and Charlie letting them know they were also expected for dinner at the Park residence and it would have worked out fine. Christmas is busy and hectic, after all, and it’s a problem faced by many each year. Instead though, they really short-changed them and then made a disaster of a scene at Chloe’s house. The awkwardness that follows the bears flipping the table is most uncomfortable. I looked at that table and tried to imagine the amount of hours that went into that meal that’s now completely ruined and winced a bit. Talk about a nightmare scenario. I wonder how the Parks spent Christmas Eve following the departure of the bears? Cleaning. Lots of cleaning.
The bears clearly screwed up, but did manage to set things right in the end while seeming genuinely remorseful. It helps that they come across as likable characters that just got their priorities messed up temporarily. It’s fun that the show doesn’t ignore that they’re actual bears in a human world and the reactions from Jon were possibly the most amusing parts of the episode. There were other moments of humor, but it’s sort of a quiet humor. It’s not in your face, but it is pleasant and effective. That’s the word I keep coming back to with this special: pleasant. I smiled when I was supposed to, I felt sad when Chloe was clearly hurt, and the final scene brought about some happy tears. It’s just a nice, wholesome, Christmas episode of a show that I should probably spend some more time with.
The bears were able to save this Christmas, I suppose now I should see how they do when the holiday comes back around.
If you would like to view this episode of We Bare Bears the easiest way to do so is via the Max streaming platform, which I must say I’ve been able to get a lot of use from this holiday season. There’s still time to just drop a few bucks on a month-long sub if you don’t have one and there’s certainly enough Christmas content alone to get your money’s worth. Not that I want to be a shill for a giant corporation, but at least it has its uses. This episode might also see an airing on Cartoon Network at some point, if it hasn’t already, as this show hasn’t been completely banished from the air waves as far as I can tell despite ending years ago. If you couldn’t tell, I think this is worth tracking down and it’s the rare 11 minute short that I actually wouldn’t mind spending a bit more time with.
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