Last week, we talked about two out of left field choices by Super7 for its line of action figures based on The Simpsons. This week, we’re discussing a fan favorite character that belongs and his inclusion is only perplexing given that there is no member of the Simpson family in the wave. Ralph Wiggum was featured in the very first episode of The Simpsons, but as a character, he wasn’t really developed until Season Four’s “I Love Lisa.” Up until that point, he was just some kid who was a little heavy-set, but made little impression. “I Love Lisa” made Ralph the character he is today. He’s more than a little slow, but genuine, and very impressionable. Unfortunately, he gets bad advice from his dad, the chief of police, which basically sets him up to have his heart broken by Lisa, but it all turns out well in the end. It’s not my favorite episode of The Simpsons, but it is one I adore and there are few episodes I’ve watched more than that one.
As an action figure, Ralph is a bit of a hard sell. The character is certainly beloved and not particularly difficult to translate to 3D, but it’s not one that presents a lot of opportunity for articulation or flashy paints. And since Super7’s Ultimates! line carries a base price of $55, Ralph is especially tough to value as he’s the same price as Homer, Moe, Krusty, and up to this point basically everyone except the massive Kang and Kodos. Super7 is one of those companies that has no problems asking its consumers to pay more for bigger characters, but never do they charge less for the small. And with Ralph, it’s hard to argue that Super7 has done much of anything to alleviate that.
Ralph stands at approximately 4.25″, probably a tick under. He’s just a little shorter than Bartman, which is proper for true scale, though his larger proportions make him look odd beside Bart. Ralph’s height is fine, but the rest isn’t really in scale. Unfortunately for Super7, there’s an entire episode about Bart and Ralph being paired up so there’s no shortage of reference images. Ralph’s hands and feet are gargantuan in comparison to Bart’s and the two do not look good side-by-side. I think this is a case of Super7 just not wanting to go smaller on Ralph than they did because then the asking price would look even more foolish. A lot of action figure lines tend to add a little to the smallest characters, and take a little from the largest to try to find a happy medium and I do think that’s true here. How much it bothers collectors is likely to vary from person-to-person, it’s just a shame the line ended up being a brief one because there’s really no one to pair Ralph with on the shelf if not Bartman. I guess he always was a bit of a loner.
Aside from the scale, the sculpt on Ralph is fine. He has his almost blank expression where he’s smiling and it’s captured. He has his blue shirt and brown pants and basically the only paint is reserved for the eyes, shirt, and belt. His head does not appear to be painted yellow and instead Super7 just went with a matte coat. It’s a step back from the paint jobs we saw in the second wave of the line and I’m curious if these final two waves (which shipped at the same time and only a few weeks after the second) were rushed or had cuts made to them since Disney was pulling the license. The paint on the blue shirt is applied all right, but there are some blemishes. It also chips and flakes around where the arms plug into the shoulders leaving behind ugly, yellow, spots. By far though, my least favorite thing about the presentation of the figure is how Super7 did Ralph’s hair. Ralph has this very thin, wispy, hair in the show and Super7 opted to sculpt it in soft, black, plastic and glue it to his head. The end result is it’s just far too thick and he almost looks like he has dreadlocks. I think the proper way to do the hair would have been to sculpt it into his head and just paint it. Or do it with with something thinner, like the bristles you might find on a brush. This choice doesn’t work very well. You can especially see it in the reference art on the box how the diameter of his hair should be smaller than his pupils, but with the figure it’s the opposite.
There isn’t much to say about Ralph’s articulation. It’s terrible. He’s barely better than a ReAction figure. The head just rotates and so do the shoulders. His elbows have little range as do the hinges in his hands. He has a waist twist, and everything below that is essentially useless. I don’t know what they were trying to do with the ankles as there’s basically a brown post that goes into his feet. There is a hinge, but it does almost nothing. There’s a gap between the end of his pants and shoes as a result and it looks bad. Ralph was never going to have terrific range at these joints, but it’s like they didn’t even try.
A little statue like Ralph is relying on accessories to create value. I often get the sense with Super7 that they start at the $55 price and then try to add enough stuff to hit their cost target. With Ralph, I don’t really get that sense and instead this figure feels like a cost-saving one. The most popular character in the line that will probably sell the best so let’s produce it cheaply and maximize profit! Ralph has no extra hands and one extra head. That head is exactly the same as the default one, except it has a melted ice cream cone glued to the forehead. That’s it. The heads are really hard to swap too and I can’t see myself ever wanting to use this reference from a later episode that’s also a dated joke that hasn’t aged well. Why no toothy grin? Or better yet, a grin with red crayon all over the teeth? This is just bad.
Ralph’s other accessories include a banana, jar of paste, Valentine, sign, and computer. The banana and jar of paste have hands sculpted to them which I guess is fine. The jar has a removable top with paste at the end of a brush inside it, but Ralph’s range of motion is so terrible he can’t hold it with the top on. The Valentine is what you would expect and features the “I Choo-Choo-Choose You” remark and there’s a picture of a train. It’s great for what it is and if it wasn’t included there would be riots. There is a “WARNING DO NOT HUG” sign that can be hung around Ralph’s neck which, again, is from a much later episode. I would have preferred his Idaho costume instead. The sign is all plastic so it doesn’t even hang properly and looks stupid. The computer is an old, boxy, design and Ralph is practicing spelling “CAT” on it and there’s a picture of a cat. It too is from a post golden age episode, but at least it’s the Super Nintendo Chalmers scene so I’ll allow it, but there isn’t really anything for Ralph to do with it. He can’t hold it and he doesn’t have a desk to put it on. It just sits there.
For such an iconic character, Ralph’s accessories are severely underwhelming. And considering how small he is and that he has just one alternate head, he should have more. Where is his key to the town? Where’s the leprechaun that tells him to start fires? He could have had soft goods and another head to recreate his George Washington costume. He could have had his TV dinner he needs someone to microwave for him or his box of Star Wars collectibles. What about the cat he likes talking about so much? A box of crayons with a missing red crayon? There’s just so much! Obviously, Super7 could not have given us everything, but it’s like they tried to impress us with deeper cuts from later in the show’s life when they would have been better served to just focus on “I Love Lisa” and deliver as much from that episode as possible like a facial expression from the exact moment his heart rips in two.
If you’re a fan of The Simpsons and collecting this line, should you get Ralph Wiggum? I mean, as a character, of course. He’s probably the most popular character in the wave. As an action figure that costs $55? Absolutely not. Super7 did not earn your money with this release. The paint is mediocre, the sculpt is too large, the articulation is practically non-existent and the accessories uninspired. This is a dud of a release. Yeah, mixed in on your shelf with the rest of the line (provided he’s not next to Bartman) Ralph will look okay, but no one is likely to see it and go “Oh wow! I love that Ralph!” If I wasn’t going all-in on this line as a show of support so it would go on for awhile (oops), I would have passed or at least cancelled my preorder when Super7 figures started routinely hitting the discount rack. I suggest anyone who does have an interest in Ralph to just wait for such an event.
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