The end of the Target exclusives for the Turtles of Grayskull line?
Thanks to Christmas and my affinity for only posting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle posts on Tuesdays, we have quite the backlog of action figure reviews to get through and this should be the last of them. 2024 is going to be known for a lot of things, and one such thing for me was Mattel’s Turtles of Grayskull crossover series featuring familiar faces from Mattel’s own Masters of the Universe brand and TMNT. It was sold basically everywhere, but the two, main, big box retailers in the US each got their own exclusive figures. For Target, that took the form of a build-a-figure line of four releases that started late in 2023 with the Mouse-Jaw release. That means collectors have had to keep track of these build-a-figure pieces for about a year as the final of four “deluxe” releases hit stores in November of 2024 in the form of Two-Bopsteady.
“Aww boss, we don’t wanna share a body!”
Two-Bopsteady is perhaps the most interesting release of the four. It takes the famous henchmen of Bebop and Rocksteady and mashes them up with the MOTU villain Two Bad. Two Bad, if you’re not aware, is two characters merged into one so for this release Mattel opted to merge Bebop and Rocksteady into one two-headed monstrosity. I love the concept and I’m left wishing this was something the old cartoon had done because there is a lot of comedic potential. And as a toy, it’s an interesting concept to get a two-headed figure and especially so in a toyline intended to be modular. Can they do it right without breaking the format?
Just one big knife? I guess we’re not going with a “Two” gimmick.
The answer to that is yes and no. The torso obviously needed to be unique to accommodate two heads which meant it has to also be wider than typical. It also seems flatter and it is a bit odd looking. The two heads, Bebop on the right and Rocksteady on the left, also seem undersized compared to the other characters in the line which was obviously needed to fit both in place. I also don’t know much about Two Bad, but I do know that the blue one on the right has the fins on his head which have been given to Rocksteady who is on the left of this release. I can see why they wouldn’t want to mess with Bebop’s mohawk, but why not reorder them then? It’s not an issue for me, but MOTU purists might find it annoying.
The flair is just a recolor of the same accessory that came with Krang. A bit weird this non-mechanical character has to remove a hand to use it.
Aside from the odd proportions though, I really like the look of this figure. Most of the figures in this line utilize a lot of colored plastic and this figure isn’t particularly different from that perspective. There is more paint though and the plastic in use has a real matte appearance. The shades are fairly earthy in tone and it all blends together in a very pleasing way. The gray on the torso is painted and it matches the gray plastic of the left arm very convincingly. The vest and harness is an overlay and there’s “metallic” overlays on the legs which have a slight blue hue to them. The paint on the two heads are pretty clean, there’s a tiny bit of purple slop on Bebop’s glasses while the big turtle shoulder pad looks pretty nice. The only really plasticky looking bits are the feet. The torso is a little odd and the figure is sort of bow-legged, but the different shades just work really well for me so I find myself just really liking the look here.
Do these guys strike fear into the hearts of turtles?
Articulation for this figure is exactly like the rest so I won’t go into detail. The ankle rockers work well and I point that out because it’s been the most inconsistent aspect of this line. His feet are tiny though so standing this one can be a bother. Accessories are limited to two, a big, yellow, knife and a ball on chain. The knife is a solid callback to both Playmates figures, more Rocksteady than Bebop due to its design. It’s fine, though I don’t like the use of bright, yellow, plastic here. It looks really cheap which clashes with the look of the figure. Maybe a bronze would have worked better? Or just copy the steel color of the armor. The ball and chain accessory is exactly like the one included with Krang, but it has a blueish chain and a yellow spiked, ball. It plugs into the wrist and it’s a bizarre choice. I think Two Bad comes with a gun so why not get representation for that aspect of the mash-up via the same? I don’t even know if a flail makes sense for Two Bad.
It took about a year, but Metal-Boto is now complete.
Since this figure comes with the final parts needed to build Metal-Boto, we should probably discuss him. He is a mashup of Metalhead and Roboto which makes sense. Despite that, I don’t think this figure shares many parts with Roboto aside from some of the accessories. I also don’t know if it’s all new sculpting, but it’s pretty intricate and detailed. This looks like a MOTU Origins Metalhead to me, and the only real Roboto aspect to it is the red mouthguard. Well, that and the hidden surprise in the chest. This figure has an action feature as the head connects to the torso via a different connection. It reduces the modular functionality, but when you turn the waist it makes the red piece flap up and down. And if you remove the green chest cover it reveals some transparent plastic with plastic gears behind them which also move with the head. It’s the same feature Roboto has and I actually didn’t even know it was there until I put everything together.
The shell can come off, but also be used to store his various attachments.
Metal-Boto is constructed like the other turtles in that he has a removable shell that can double as a shield. His shell also has plug holes for his accessories. On his arms, he has plugs for these extra attachments done in blue plastic. There’s a grabber and an axe head as well as a gun arm and drill bit. He also has an extra forearm which has a bit more of a turtle look to it. To use them in place of his hands you need to first insert an adapter. One came with Mouse-Jaw and one here so there’s one for each arm. They work fine, but they also add length to the arms so they look a little goofy. Especially if you want to use that alternate hand, Why they didn’t make that plug into the wrists I don’t know. I like the look of it, but it looks so stupid on the figure.
Pop the chest piece off to reveal his inner workings.
Aside from that, I do like the look of this one. As I said, it’s very Metalhead even down to the T logo on his belt. There’s a slight luster to the silver parts and the gold accents are well-painted. The green feet clash, but that’s true of the old Metalhead design. He has red trunks, but they don’t look out of place and I rather like the introduction of the soft, green, chest plate. It’s no gold vac-metal, but it has a nice finish. His articulation is basically the same as the rest save for the fact that his head only swivels. He’s a nice looking figure. I can see how this one may have been more expensive to produce than some of the others so it makes sense that it was the build-a-figure. Even so, he basically costs 20 bucks if you figure that extra five for these deluxe offerings fund this guy. Though in reality, you have to spend 100 bucks across four releases to get him. At least he might be the best figure in the line so that certainly helps. I just wish he had storage for all of his accessories. Basically, the adapters don’t slot anywhere so you have to keep track of either them or the default hands if you’re using some of the weapons.
I kind of like the look of this third hand more than the default ones, but in order to use it you need to plug in an adapter first. Then it just gets weird looking.
These two figures basically put a bow on this line for me. Mattel is rolling out more including another set of turtles, a mutated Shredder, and more, but I think I’m content. I do like some of the new designs more than what I have, but not enough to double dip. I do wish I liked one of the He-Man figures because it feels weird to have a MOTU x TMNT display with no He-Man, but I’m not going to buy one for the sake of it (I already did that with the Shredder figure I’m still just lukewarm on). And my shelf is really full anyway. Fitting these two in there is hard enough. As a line though, it’s fun. It’s not amazing, but it’s also limited by the form of the Origins subline which wants to keep a lot of that 80s aesthetic with better functionality. It is a fun combo though as you have the dominant action figure line of the early 80s mixing with the one that took over at the end of the decade. It’s just surprising it took this long. If you’re still looking for this release, it seems to be in stock at Target still and may even be heading for a post holiday sale price. The other releases in this deluxe line may be harder to find at this point since Target put them on sale to make room for the next one. Good luck!
The true fifth turtle (take that, Zach!).
If you missed the other deluxe offerings in this line and are curious if you’re missing out, see below:
Nothing can be simple in this day and age of retail toy sales which is why the new mash-up of Masters of the Universe and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toyline features ostensibly 3 SKUs: standard, deluxe, and deluxe with build-a-figure parts. The standard releases are, as you may have expected, released abroad and you can…
It’s a Tuesday, and I have a new Turtles product to talk about, so let’s make it another Turtle Tuesday! And today brings us the second in the line of deluxe Masters of the Universe Origins – Turtles of Grayskull line exclusive to Target – Sla’ker: The evil cybernetic snapping turtle! This is Slash, the…
A couple week back I bemoaned the Walmart exclusive Krang from Mattel’s Masters of the Universe Origins – Turtles of Grayskull line for being particularly troublesome to track down. I couldn’t even find one in store or online to purchase at MSRP and had to buy it from a third party – on Walmart’s website…
Mondo has had success with its sixth scale line of action figures based on X-Men and X-Men ’97 so it’s no surprise that the company has decided to dip its toe into another 90s animated Marvel series in Spider-Man. And when it comes to Spider-Man, I’m not sure what to call it. I always referred to the X-Men cartoon as simply X-Men, though in the ensuing decades there’s been an attempt to retcon it as X-Men: The Animated Series since that’s what happened with Batman. Only, Batman had “The Animated Series” tacked onto it from the very beginning even if it wasn’t technically the show’s name. With Spider-Man, I guess I always called it just Spider-Man, but over the years I’ve come to think of it as Spider-Man ’94. I don’t know why I feel the need to differentiate it in such a fashion, but I do sometimes refer to X-Men as X-Men ’92.
Whatever you want to call it, Spider-Man was a pretty entertaining show for an early teens kid in the 90s. I was introduced to the character of Spider-Man via public service announcements and that really cool CGi Spider-Man that dropped in as part of the Marvel logo at the end of Muppet Babies. I did catch a few stray episodes of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends, but for the most part I didn’t know a ton about Spider-Man going into the premiere of the ’94 cartoon. I knew the basics, had a few comics, read the back of many trading cards, but a lot of Spidey knowledge would come from the show. And I liked Spider-Man well enough going into the whole thing, but the character I really liked and wanted to see on television was Venom.
As is typical of Mondo, the packaging is pretty nice.
I’ve explained my love of Venom in other posts on the subject, but he was one of the big characters of the 90s. Sure, he debuted in the 80s, but I feel like he took off in the 90s leading to his solo outing in Lethal Protector. When the Toy Biz Marvel Super Heroes line emerged, I didn’t buy Spider-Man, I got Venom! When the video game Maximum Carnage hit, I played that thing and kept saying “Where’s Venom?” until finally getting to the stage where he was playable. He was just cool. This big, brutish, version of Spider-Man with a great concept for his costume and artists that took advantage of it. When the show hit, he was saved for last in the opening title for a reason and I would tune into that show week in and week out waiting for the big guy to finally show up. And when that episode finally hit and the alien slime dripped down onto Eddie Brock I could have jumped out of my skin with excitement. Unfortunately, that would be just one of three episodes that featured the character, but it was still cool to finally see him in animation.
That’s definitely Venom from the old Spider-Man cartoon.
I liked the show Spider-Man well enough, but it wasn’t as high on my list as X-Men. As a result, I don’t know how deep I’m going to go on a line of sixth scale toys that retail for over $200 a piece and require a lot of shelf space to display properly. However, when Mondo announced they were doing Spider-Man I knew I was at least in for Venom. Which doesn’t make the most sense, if I’m being honest. Venom, as a character created for animation, has a weaker design compared to his comic book counterpart. He couldn’t have the many rows of teeth, the giant tongue, complicated eyes, and so forth because it would be a nightmare to animate. He also couldn’t be shaded like he was in the books where most artists would start with a blue base and then layer on the blacks. He kept his basic shape, but the eyes and mouth were simplified. The show added its own touch by cutting out slits on the tops of the white eyes which give him the illusion of slit-like pupils as if owing to a snake. The tongue was there, but not monstrous and usually absent the green slime. Standing out most though was this blue outline the character would have on one side, plus a red one on the other. It’s not uncommon to see blue used to shade black in both comics and animation, but the red was certainly an interesting choice. It’s certainly a unique look for Venom, even if it isn’t my favorite, but there’s charm and certainly a great deal of nostalgia baked into this look.
Venom is pretty damn large even when compared with the biggest characters from the X-Men line.
Mondo’s Venom comes in a massive window box that is structurally the same as what we see from the X-Men line. Conceptually, it’s relying on new artwork and for this release that artwork is done by Kris Anka with Jordan Christianson receiving credit for the package design. There’s a big web on the front with Venom in the middle with a black, blue, and red Spider-Man logo across the top. There’s a Velcro flap with a side portrait of Venom on the inside. The window for viewing the figure has a comic book-like character portrait in the top left corner that also includes the dates April 1995 through November 1996 with both endpoints marking Venom’s debut and final appearance in the show.
Sorry Wolverine, since we don’t have a Spidey you’ll have to do.
Packaging is fun and all, but the real treat is what’s inside. Venom is a big, hulking, brute of an action figure. Mondo lists him as 13″ and my tape measure has him at just a tick over 13.25″. He’s big and right up there with Sabretooth and Omega Red from the X-Men line. This is another sculpt by Alex Brewer and on paint for Venom is Mara Ancheta and, let me tell you, these two did a bang-up job. That should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with what Mondo has been doing at this scale, but Venom looks like a maquette from the show. He is as faithful to the screen as you’re going to find. His upper body is massive with huge shoulders and bulging biceps. It tapers well at the abdomen and he has these tree trunk legs that just really add to the bulk on display.
I can hear Hank Azaria’s voice in my head.
All of the show specific details are captured beautifully in this figure. The portrait is perfect. He has this slight indent on the center of his head which he was often drawn with. It was like the meeting point between the blue and the red outline and it gave him a bit of a “butthead” look in some stills. Here it’s subtle so we don’t have a butthead Venom, but we have an accurate one. The eyes are perfect and he has those unique Spider-Man ’94 eye slits plus the blue and red lips around his lizard-like maw. The default head has an open mouth and the teeth are painted exceptionally well. On the chest and back is the classic white spider logo and the black lines in the legs are slightly sculpted in. The forearms feature those veins that kind of looked like webbing to me as a kid and they’re colored in blue and red as they were in his second appearance. The white patches are also present, a detail Mondo certainly wouldn’t overlook. And the paint is just fantastic. Crisp, clean, and in the right amount. Venom isn’t the sort of character that’s going to pop like a Cyclops or even a Spider-Man, but he has what he needs. There’s tons of blue and red highlights on the muscles and the logic on play is well applied as the figure creates an illusion of a light source. There’s also a hit of gray in the spider logo under the pectorals and in the abs which looks great and adds definition. If you inspect the figure in great depth you might find a white spot here and there or a softer edge to some of the paint, but in terms of paint slop it’s pretty much pristine.
Venom triumphant!
Now, where these Mondo figures usually don’t shine is with the articulation, and despite Venom doing some thing different, he’s still largely the same. All of the points of articulation you could want are here, they just don’t have the range to create a variety of poses. There’s the usual double-ball peg head, the ball-hinged shoulders, ball-jointed wrist, ball-jointed diaphragm, ball-jointed waist, ball-socket hips, thigh twists, double-jointed knees, ankle hinges, and ankle rockers. The sort of new, or less often seen, are the bicep swivels with double-jointed elbows. I think Mondo is going to be doing this more and more going forward as we did see it with Cyclops and it’s a change I like. In terms of what works and what doesn’t, it’s largely a case of tightness. The shoulders are very tight. Hitting a T pose might be impossible for this guy and just basic rotation is tough. You also have to be mindful of the arm rubbing on the pecs as you don’t want to mess up the paint. The elbows will bend a little past 90 degrees, but he’s so bulky that going any further really isn’t going to do much. The diaphragm joint feels very limited. I’m getting not much forward and back, rotation is oaky, but again it’s a painted surface and I don’t want to mess anything up. The waist is really hard to get much use out of and I can’t get the ankle hinges to budge. The rockers work so standing him has been easy, but this isn’t a Venom for deep crouches or those real spider-like poses.
Venom has these itty bitty webs.
There’s no sugar-coating it, articulation is a shortcoming with this figure and with this line. It’s just a question of as a consumer are you willing to accept that as a trade-off for the aesthetic? And aiding that aesthetic is the boatload of accessories Mondo included with this one. I have the limited version, which has some extra stuff that I’ll be sure to call attention to. As far as what’s included with all, we have a bunch of hands. By default, Venom comes equipped with open hands but he has sets of fists, gripping, and clawing hands that swap in and out pretty easily. He also has an extra right hand which is gripping a Spider-Man mask from the scene in his debut episode where he tries to expose Spider-Man to the general public. The mask is sculpted and fully painted and looks cool. It’s also kind of amusing to me because Mondo’s Spider-Man figure (I initially passed on that one, but then ordered it via a third party through a sale and I’m still waiting on it) came with a hand holding the mask of Green Goblin. Is that going to be a thing for this line where every character comes with a hand holding the mask of another character?
He also has some big web lines with different attachments for the end. This attachment is basically the traditional web line.
Naturally, Venom also has some effect parts. And namely, effect hands. He has two fists that are angled with long strands of web shooting out. The web lines are close to 9.5″ in length and are made of soft plastic or rubber with a wire running through it. I’m not sure how useful the wire will be, but I suppose it’s better than not having it. The line ends with a plug hole and you can insert one of two splatter ends or one of two included web ends. I like them, but the connection on my figure’s left hand is pretty weak. Weak enough that I think it might fall off soon which is something to be mindful of. The web line on the right hand seems secure. And if these web lines just seem like too much, there’s also a set of hands with short, 2.5″, web lines shooting out. These do not have a wire, because it’s not needed, but they certainly require less shelf space if you want Venom shooting webs on your shelf.
And if you prefer, we have a splat effect too.
Venom has always been an expressive character so he needs multiple portraits. And for the standard edition you get three. The default one features an open mouth and Venom’s typical sinister grin. The alt head has that tongue you all want snaking out. As it was in the cartoon, the tongue is pink and there isn’t any slime on it as was common in the comic books. Often in the show the tongue would end as if there was slime on it, but it was just colored pink. I always wondered if that was by design or if they just didn’t paint on the slime. Either way, this head doesn’t reflect that which is honestly probably for the best because it was pretty weird looking. Lastly, we have the unmasked Eddie Brock portrait. There’s not much to say about it other than the likeness is spot on. He has somewhat of an agitated expression when I think most may have preferred a sinister grin, but it’s fine. Paint across all of the heads is pretty damn immaculate. I don’t use that word often to describe the paint job on toys because there’s usually something wrong on everything, however minor. With these it’s pretty damn hard to find anything though.
I think of this as the Lethal Protector head.
And now for the extra stuff. If you get the limited version, you get two extra portraits. The first is another tongue head with a more dramatic tongue covered in green slime. This feels like more of a comic head even though the actual head and face of the character is still undoubtedly Venom from the cartoon. I think of this head as the idealized version of the character, what we would have wanted to see all things being equal from the show, but animation budgets prevented it. It’s awesome though and I am guessing this will be the favorite of many. The other head is an Eddie Brock portrait in mid-transformation. The Venom “mask” is closing its mouth over Brock’s face as it would do in the show and it looks amazing. I can’t believe how well they managed to get the paint on this thing and it’s this Brock face that has that sinister grin I was looking for. To go with this is a big piece of Venom goo that clips around the waist of the figure to make it look like alien slime is shooting off his back. It plays up that mid-transformation thing, even though the figure is basically already in Venom form, but it’s neat. It’s soft plastic so it doesn’t feel like something that will scuff the figure or anything.
Poor Venom has no Spider-Man for his swing. Maybe one day…
The last accessory is what I affectionately refer to as Venom’s web sex swing. It’s from the debut episode of the character where he webs up Spider-Man in this web contraption, pulls off his mask, and dangles him over the edge of a building where the onlookers at street level try to get a picture or video of Spider-Man unmasked. It’s basically five parts: you have a Venom left hand which is how it attaches to Venom. Then you have the five web lines, two of which end in loops to go over the Spider-Man figure’s wrists and the other two weblines end on what’s basically a web belt. The plastic is fairly soft and pliable and, according to Mondo, this belt part is supposed to slide over Spider-Man’s legs and come to rest around his waist. I don’t have that figure, but I have my doubts that this thing will be easy to get onto Spider-Man. When/if I get Spider-Man maybe I’ll update this with a picture of it in action, or confirmation that I just couldn’t do it. There are promo shots of it, but who knows how Mondo pulled them off. I suppose you could separate the figure at the diaphragm, but I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to pull apart a 200 dollar action figure. I know I wouldn’t.
What a portrait!
Mondo’s take on Venom is pretty damn rad. If you don’t care for his animated look then that’s understandable, but if you’ve ever wanted a representation of Venom from the Spider-Man cartoon on your shelf then this is the one to get. Yes, it’s very expensive and I was even a little annoyed at the price this one came in at, but it’s Venom and I had to have it. The articulation won’t blow anyone away, but the presence this one has is pretty damn incredible. He has all he needs and the execution of the sculpt and the paint is as close to flawless as I think I’ve ever seen with an action figure in any scale. Yeah it costs a lot, but you’re getting a damn good product. If you want the limited edition, unfortunately it’s sold out and you’re going to have to try your luck on the aftermarket. My preferred head is in the limited version, but I don’t know that I’d pay more than the ten bucks Mondo charged for the extra stuff. The standard version should still be available in various places, just not through Mondo directly. If this looks like something you want in your collection, I think the expense is worth it. Just know what you’re getting: a big, kick ass looking Venom from the 90s Spider-Man cartoon.
We’ve got plenty more Venom and more from Mondo for you to check out:
On Tuesday, I posted a review for the NECA TMNT Adventures Cryin’ Houn’ action figure, a figure that debuted during this year’s edition of Walmart Collector Con. Today, we’re looking at a true exclusive from that event. Cryin’ Houn’, and a lot of other figures released that day, were basically a first to market agreement…
When I was a kid, my dad took me to some local convention or trade show. I have no idea why because my dad wasn’t the type who would go to such an event. He liked car shows, but from what I can remember this was more of a hobby show. It was early in…
After putting a real hurting on my wallet in 2023, Mondo decided to take it easy in 2024 with its line of sixth scale action figures based on the animated series X-Men which ran from 1992-1997 on Fox Kids. Two figures ended up getting released this year, Rogue and now the leader of the X-Men…
Robotic Bebop might be the reason, or one of the reasons, why wave 7 of Super7’s line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ultimates! figures was so delayed. If you recall, this was put up for order back in the winter of 2022. Robotic Rocksteady, who we reviewed here back in November of 2023, was supposed to complete the pairing when he was released. That figure retailed for $65. Bebop, on the other hand, was $55. Did maybe a pricing error on Super7’s end contribute to the delay? Perhaps. I have no real knowledge of anything, but if the figure priced out higher than expected after solicitation it may have given the company pause. They may have tried to find a different factory to take the job, though with one figure in the wave being a complete re-release of Metalhead it would have meant the tools needed for at least that one were probably with a factory already. And this was a wave that also included Guerilla Gorilla, a massive ape priced at $75, and the almost equally beefy Triceraton who was also $55.
He’s pretty big, though regular Bebop is actually a tad taller if you can get him to stand up straight.
Whatever the reason (his heart or his shoes), Robotic Bebop and others were late to the party, but they’re here now. I’ve been looking forward to this one and my anticipation for it went up after getting Rocksteady since he ended up being one of my favorites in the line. If you like those big, chunky, figures, then this one is for you. And like many figures in this line, Bebop is a recreation of an old Playmates design which either loosely inspired the toon version of the same, or was loosely based on it. The main difference with Super7’s interpretation (other than the obvious increase in mass) is the lack of a vac-metal coating and an adjustment to the silhouette. Bebop is even chunkier than his Playmates equivalent. His head is a little smaller relative to his body with the shoulders and chest being inflated. It’s a good update and he strikes a mighty nice profile on your shelf.
Finally, the duo is here!
Bebop, because this wave was supposed to come out so long ago, comes in the standard Ultimates! box with slipcover. Starting with Wave 10, the slipcover is a thing of the past. He stands at approximately 8.25″ to the top of his head and you can add another quarter of an inch to reach the top of his mohawk. He’s not massively tall for the line, but the heft with this one is apparent when picking up the box. The sculpt on Bebop is very detailed. There’s grooves and textures galore with this guy and a few wires down by the calf. He still has the radio controls on his belt, or what look to be radio controls, like the old figure and there are some buttons and dials sculpted onto his chest. The finish on the body is more of a gun metal with Bebop as opposed to a bare steel with Rocksteady. I didn’t notice this difference between the two until Bebop was released, but it’s there in the promo pics. I don’t mind and I like that Super7 differentiated the two. I’m not sure I even have a preference as I like this darker color which adds a menacing vibe to the character, while the shinier approach looks pretty rad with Rocksteady. The mohawk is done with translucent, orange, plastic so he has some light piping just like Rocksteady. It’s not as obvious since the mohawk isn’t going to let in the same amount of light as Rocksteady’s dome, but if the light catches it just right it does indeed work.
Since I don’t have the Playmates ones here’s the Super7 bots with the NECA version from the cartoon.
Paint on Bebop is minimal, but present. There’s some black around the collar and on the sides of the legs which looks neat. The other most present color is blue which is used in a few places, mostly on the chest and the glasses. There’s some on the arms as well and even a little on the back of the shin which didn’t need to be there, but I like it. Of course, it’s not all perfect. The yellow on the chest for the buttons and switches isn’t applied in the most consistent fashion. There’s also a blob of black right at the thigh cut on my figure’s left leg. The green for the shell shoulder pads is a very matte green and it kind of clashes for me. I’m left wondering if the figure would have looked better with a metallic green? The main body has a nice finish though and I can’t tell if it’s painted or not. I’m pretty sure it is since there’s some scuffing on the inner, left, bicep of my figure. The mere fact that I have to question it is a good thing. He looks great and if this was the level of quality we got out of Super7 consistently with this line no one would be complaining. Well, someone would because there’s always someone unhappy, but this guy wouldn’t be.
If you think he needs a shield he’s got it.
I’m going to jump into articulation now because there is an aspect of it that goes hand-in-hand with the presentation. In general, this figure doesn’t articulate incredibly well which I think anyone could guess just by looking at it. This is an aesthetics forward release, not articulation. And it’s actually the perfect type of character for Super7 to attempt since they don’t prioritize articulation in general. You still have the double ball jointed head which gets great range, ball-hinge shoulders with the shoulder pads on hinges to move them out of the way, bicep swivels, single elbows that bend 90 degrees and swivel, swivel and hinge wrists. There is a diaphragm joint, hinged-ball hips, thigh swivels, single-hinges at the knees that swivel, and ankles that hinge and swivel. Range at almost evey joint is compromised to some degree by the sculpt. The abdomen isn’t going to twist all the way because of the boxy design nor does it crunch forward very much. The big, flat, feet only swivel so they lack a true ankle rocker which is a bummer. What’s a little irksome though is that the biceps swivels, especially, aren’t sculpted in such a way that they move freely. You’re probably going to scuff up the shoulder if you twist them a whole bunch. There’s some scuffing on the neck of my figure as well, though I think that was the result of the factory process. The diaphragm and thigh swivels could easily cause scuffing too so be careful. Otherwise, joints are nice and tight with no floppiness which is key for such a heavy figure.
“The filthy reptiles blew off my arm!”
Bebop’s sculpt is going to provide for ample shelf presence and it moves just enough to add to it. The accessories are also going to help in that department. Bebop has a few hand options at his disposal including fists, gripping, and open hands. The gripping hands are very thick and very stiff which is important to note because you will want to heat them up for some of these accessories. The hand you don’t have to heat is the open hand, which has a curl to the fingers. This one works well with the included shield which is the exact same trash-can lid inspired shield that came with Robotic Rocksteady only now it’s cast in blue translucent plastic. It and the two flame effects which plug into Bebops shoulder canons are the only reused parts from Rocksteady (or Rocksteady reused them from Bebop?), which is impressive.
Say cheese?The flame effect for the shoulder canons work in the gun too.“I want to be a..a..dentist!”So this happened during my picture taking which kind of sucks.
For handheld weapons, Bebop comes with a big knife and a gun. There’s not much to say about the knife. The blade is pretty wicked looking and it’s basically the same color as Bebop’s body. It’s handle is painted green and, if you’re careful, you can probably get this into one of the gripping hands without too much fuss. The gun, on the other hand, will need some heat unless you don’t care about taking off paint. The gun looks like a combination of an uzi and a camcorder. It’s more a shiny silver color with a green handle and some blue paint applied to the two viewfinders on the back as well as a little on the side.
“I’m tired of these jokes about my giant hand. The first such incident occurred back in…
Both the knife and the gun are remakes of vintage accessories and so is the next one. Bebop has some interchangeable right hands that double as weapons. There’s this big, blue, connection on the right arm that pops off and can be replaced with this big, robot, hand. For when Bebop needs to smack someone around, he has this thing which looks pretty cool. There’s no articulation at the wrist, but it does swivel where it connects to the arm. I kind of wish the fingers were articulated, but it’s cool and fun and it came with the old toy so it’s good to have. If you prefer something that’s a callback to the original Bebop, there’s also a drill bit. It plugs into the blue adapter in place of a hand and it’s a big, silvery, drill. Bebop is often associated with such since he came with a drill in his original appearance, so as an extra it makes sense. He also has another optional attachment which is a battle damaged limb. I like this one a lot and it plugs into the same spot as the blue adapter. The wires and rods coming out look twisted and crushed which makes me think of Terminator 2 after the T-800 gets its arm stuck in a compacter. What’s not here is the second blue adapter that was featured in the solicitation images. That one had a scope sculpted onto it and was seen paired with the drill bit perhaps as a way to recreate Bebop’s drill gun in a new way? It was cut though, but Super7 never sent out new solicitation images which is kind of shitty. It’s not a big deal that the item was cut, but tell your customers, Super7.
Original promo with the cut blue piece.Good luck, Donnie. You’re gonna need it.
Robotic Bebop is not a perfect release, but what action figure is? For $55, the sculpt, paint, and accessory load-out is pretty damn good. He moves as much as he needs to and this is a figure that will improve anyone’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles display. This is one of Super7’s bests and so was their first take on Bebop. Maybe they just have a really solid rapport with the character? I don’t know, but I do think their best figures are the bigger ones. They play well with Super7’s approach to articulation and their strength as an action figure producer is their sculpts and big figures really showcase that. I was okay with Robotic Rocksteady at $65 so naturally I think this figure at $55 is a great deal. This is one you don’t have to wait for a sale on. The only thing holding it back is that it’s a bit of an obscure version of a popular character. Not everyone wants a robot version of Bebop, but for those who do, this figure should make them quite happy. For now, this concludes my look at Wave 7 of Super7’s Ultimates! TMNT. I had Triceraton on preorder, but that figure has some problems which caused me to drop my preorder. I may revisit that decision if he hits clearance. As for Guerilla Gorilla, I have no attachment to either he nor Sargent Bananas so that was an easy pass considering the price and shelf space required and I have zero interest in the Metalhead repaint. I’m onto Wave 11 which has actually already started shipping so it shouldn’t be too long before we have more Super7 TMNT to talk about.
We have a whole lot more Bebop if you’re interested:
Last week, it was Space Cadet Raphael’s turn to be put through the ringer by me. Super7 didn’t really impress with that offering, but I did tease at the end of that lukewarm review that a more positive one was on the horizon. This is that more positive review. Robotic Rocksteady is the latest villain…
This is a big figure. That’s the take-away and the thing any reviewer has to mention when reviewing Super7’s take on the classic warthog from Playmates. Back in ’88, Bebop was bigger than the turtles, but he was also really hunched over to the point where it was like his neck was coming out of…
2021 introduced a lot of good things for collectors of NECA’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line of action figures based on the classic cartoon. The toy maker still kept the line a Target exclusive when it came to brick and mortar, but it also started selling a lot of it online to coincide with each…
The punk rock turtle is here to rock your shell off!
It’s been awhile since we last took a look at a figure from a wave of Super7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ultimates! It was back in July 2024 that I gave a rather glowing review of the first of a presumed four turtle figures based on the old Playmates Rock n’ Roll Turtles – Classic Rocker Leonardo. Leo had the distinction of being the first released from that set, but the first solicited was Super7’s take on Punk Rock Donatello, or Punker Don. I ordered this figure way back in March of 2022. He is part of Wave 7 of this line. Leo is part of Wave 10. What the hell happened?! I don’t know. Super7 never provided any real updates or reason for why this wave lagged so far behind the rest. There were some big figures in the wave, there could have been issues with licensing, or maybe it was funding? I don’t know. Brian Flynn of Super7 mentioned that they probably undercharged for one of the figures in the wave (which we’ll talk about in due time) so maybe they more aggressively factory-shopped to get the best rate they could which maybe pushed them to the back of the line? I don’t know, but Wave 7 is here and has been out for a little while now (we’re still clearing out a backlog here) so hopefully the extra time in the oven did some good.
Donnie is still trying to figure out how this whole punk thing works.
Punker Don has always been an amusing release to me. Each turtle needed to be matched with a genre of music for this set. Leo as a fan of classic rock? I suppose that makes sense since he’s always been displayed as the closest to his father, Splinter, and classic rock is essentially “dad rock.” Raph a fan of the loud, aggressive, and abrasive heavy metal? Sure, makes perfect sense. Mikey as a hip hop artist needs no explanation, but what does Donnie listen to when he’s working in the lab? Punk rock? It doesn’t really jive for me. Donatello would probably be into prog rock. I see him being way into Rush or King Crimson. The problem there is prog rock isn’t as popular a visual as punk rock. Not even close. I’m not sure any genre of rock is more visually interesting than punk with the crazy hairstyles, spiked jackets, torn pants, and smashed up instruments. It works too well as a toy, so someone had to be the designated punker and it fell to Donnie.
I guess it being poorly painted makes it punk rock?
That’s not the only reason why this design is so amusing to me though. The other is the chosen instrument: the keytar. I don’t really know if the keytar truly belongs to any genre of music, but I know it does not belong to punk. I get it. Leo and Raph both came with guitars and while they could have given Don a bass, a bass guitar isn’t exactly visually distinct from a guitar. Especially since the guitars included with the others aren’t accurate to the actual instrument when it comes to string count. I wish he came with a drum kit, but maybe Playmates saw that as too expensive back in the day? And sticking a lone drum around his neck like the Little Drummer Boy would have looked just as ridiculous as a punker with a keytar.
He even comes with a record like the old one.
All that being said, this is a fun release. It was back then anyway, and it should be now. This Donatello is a pretty faithful recreation of the vintage figure with some minor differences. I don’t have the old one for an easy comparison, but we do have the good old internet where such pictures exist. The main differences here are that some sculpted details on the old figure are now off on their own. The necklace is the most obvious as here it’s an actual necklace on a real chain. There was also a sculpted chain on the left arm of the old figure and that has been turned into an accessory. He still has his big mohawk and classic turtle grimace. The color of said mohawk seems a little more yellow this time around as opposed to orange, but it’s a subtle change and probably not even an intentional one.
And he’s turned his bo staff into a flute/recorder/clarinet/whatever.
Mostly, this is just a new version of an old toy. The details have been upped and the paint hits increased. The leather jacker looks especially good with a nice finish. The part of it on the torso is a soft overlay and even the parts of the shell showing through on the back are part of it. It blends well with the harder plastic arms where the sleeves are sculpted and the trim work with the silver paint is very crisp and clean. The “NO” button on the lapel is painted now which was probably a reference to the War on Drugs which was quite popular back in the day. The knee and elbow pads are sculpted to look like they’ve been tied on and they’re separate, soft, pieces. The belt is part of the sculpt and only what’s visible is what’s sculpted, which is fine. The underside of his boots are sculpted like LL Bean boots and it’s quite sharp.
I like how they sculpted the shell as part of this jacket overlay.
Not everything is great though. The jacket is well painted, but the paint hits elsewhere aren’t so clean. The pink portion of his pants is a little thin so you get a sense of the blue poking through. The green boots with yellow laces are also really sloppy. There’s little specks of yellow throughout the pants that seem to have transferred from there and the laces themselves look pretty bad. The left boot, especially, is really poorly done on my figure. The ripped portions of the pants are painted all right, not perfect, but mostly I don’t like the finish on the pants. I can’t tell what these are supposed to be. They don’t look like denim so I guess they’re spandex or something. They’re just bare plastic and look really cheap. The T patch on the right thigh has also been left unpainted, like it was on the old figure, which is a shame though with how bad the detail work turned out on the laces maybe that’s a good thing? These pants needed a wash or something though because they look really out of place compared with the rest of the figure.
The yellow for his laces got everywhere. Also, I need to dust under the musical tour turtles.
What bothers me more with this release is the articulation and an old enemy has resurfaced. These figures are never great when it comes to articulation, but at this point we should be able to expect the same level of quality on the turtle figures especially since they’re all basically the same from an engineering point of view. I was really happy with Classic Rocker Leo, but the same is not true for Punker Don. The articulation points are all the same: double ball head, ball-hinge shoulders and hips, single jointed elbows and knees, and so on. What suck is the range in the arms seems less than what we had with Leo. He’s a little harder to pose with his keytar than Leo was with his guitar. The right elbow, especially, doesn’t bend well and it’s frustrating. What’s worse though are these dreaded Super7 hips. Yup, they’re floppy again. There are slip points on both sides where the legs just won’t stay. Now, I have been able to get him to stand without falling over, so it’s not as bad as perhaps it could be, but it’s still unacceptable. I was hoping Classic Rocker Leo was a sign of things to come, but Punker Don didn’t get the memo. Get your shit together, Super7.
Donnie has a couple of new heads this time around.
The good thing about this figure being from way back in Wave 7 is that it still has the old Super7 amount of accessories. There’s not a whole lot missing from this package. We even get the rare triple portrait approach. There’s the default head, and then there’s another mohawk head with an open mouth and goggles sculpted on. It looks pretty fun, though the paint between the eyes is a little iffy. The third head contains a totally different hairstyle with big, purple, spikes and a tongue hanging out the side. He’s biting down on his tongue which feels very “vintage” and the hair is certainly very punk rock. The paint is a little sloppy in that it doesn’t go all the way to the roots. Still, I like it and I might even like it more than the classic interpretation.
When you only have three digits on your hand, a pointing gesture also doubles as a middle finger.
We get the customary allotment of hands as well. There’s a set of fists, gripping hands, pointing hands, and a set of keytar hands which is basically a C-grip left hand and an almost open right hand. All of the hands have horizontal hinges which is less an issue for Donatello being a bo staff handler. And he does have a bo staff. It’s basically Donnie’s bo repurposed as a recorder or clarinet. It has little holes or buttons and an end with a mouthpiece on it which is clever. The old figure may have referred to it as a flute, but that is not a flute mouthpiece. He also has a record with a purple center label, a direct callback to the vintage toy. It’s really thick and not convincing, but it’s fine. There’s also a tuning fork, a new accessory, which I guess is a decent way to reference Donnie’s more nerdy tendencies, though is really out of place for a punk rock guy. There’s also the chain I mentioned earlier. Previously part of the sculpt, it’s now just an accessory. It sits very loose in Donatello’s hands and feels a bit pointless. I wish they had rigged up a way to make it function like a wallet chain or attach to the figure in some way, but oh well.
This Punker Don figure may not be as good as the Classic Rocker Leo, but they still look pretty cool together.
Donatello also has a repeat accessory – his mic and mic stand. It’s the same as the one included with Leonardo just with a new deco. I liked it with Leo, and I like it here. Lastly, we have the most important accessory for any punk rocker: his keytar. Like the vintage figure, it’s sculpted in yellow. Unlike the vintage figure, the keys are painted. Unfortunately, that’s all that’s painted. This thing is really well-sculpted as it looks like it’s held together by tape. Leonardo’s double guitar received a fantastic sculpt and paint job, but this looks like shit. The sculpt is great, but the lack of paint is so cheap and I feel bad for whoever sculpted this because Super7 did them dirty. Someone needs to tell Super7 that no one cares about the extra stuff like the chain or tuning fork if the keytar, the featured accessory, is going to look like crap. In their defense, this is how it looked in the solicitation so it’s not like they did some bait and switch, but it looks bad and I’m calling them out on it. It looks so poor beside Leonardo’s guitar that I’m thinking of just returning it to its box and making Donnie the vocalist of this fake turtle band.
There is a lot about Punker Don that disappoints me, there is also a lot that I like. This is basically a mid tier Super7 release in that the sculpt is there, most of the paint is acceptable, but there’s enough eyesores and poor articulation to dampen the enthusiasm in the end. It’s just a shame because Classic Rocker Leo turned out so well and gave me hope for this one. Maybe Super7 had finally ironed out all of the kinks after ten waves of Ultimates! and this was the level of quality we could expect going forward. Sadly, that’s not the case here. It’s not a bad figure and I mostly am happy with what is on my shelf, but it could and should be better. This one will also set you back $55. Is it worth it? That’s hard to say. If you’re on the fence then you can probably safely wait for a discount to come at some point. Since this is Wave 7 there’s really no danger of the ordered amount being impacted by the massive discounts we saw on Super7 products in the past year. There should be plenty to go around. If you’re like me and love these silly rock n’ roll variants and can’t wait any longer then you may have a touch of buyer’s remorse, but hopefully it fades with time.
There are plenty more reviews of Super7’s TMNT offerings, both good and bad:
When I was a kid, I had parents with divergent musical tastes. Dad likes oldies from the 50s and 60s while mom was more into modern rock (then 80s). One area where their tastes overlapped was Bruce Springsteen. We had several of his records in my house and I distinctly remember that cover to Born…
Late in 2023, Super7 started shipping the ninth wave of its line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ultimates! action figures. I bought none. It was a wave with no compelling characters for me as it contained Slam Dunkin’ Donatello, Scumbug, Wingnut & Screwloose, Zak the Neutrino, and a flocked Master Splinter variant. Scumbug had been…
It feels like it’s been awhile since we had a proper Turtle Tuesday around here, but today that streak ends. It also feels like a long time since we had a new wave TMNT Ultimates! from Super7 to talk about – and that’s because it has! Not including the glow-in-the-dark variant of Leonardo I looked…
Every hero needs a villain, and for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that number one villain is The Shredder. Setup as a foil in his original appearance, Shredder really became the main guy when the cartoon series was put into development. That show needed a villain who was always around and Shredder was the best choice. Ever since, he’s basically remained in that role with few exceptions so whenever a new company steps in to put their stamp on the franchise they usually bring old Shred-head along with them.
He’s a little Shredder.
JoyToy’s 1:18 scale line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures got off to a strong start with the four turtle boys. Whenever I approach a new take on the property, I always like to start with the turtles and Shredder. If I really like what I’m seeing then I’ll start to fill in my collection. Shredder is the seventh character in this line to go up for order and my fifth addition. Though technically I committed to Bebop and Rocksteady first, but they haven’t shipped (I think I’m going to have to change vendors). I’m fine with that though as when I first saw JoyToy’s take on the turtles I really wanted to see their Shredder. And once he was unveiled it turns out he looks pretty familiar.
These turtles scale much bigger than typical turtles.
Shredder arrives in the same style of box as the turtles. His design is that of a heavily armored Shredder and, for me, it’s impossible not to get 2k3 vibes from this figure. He has huge shoulder pads, a slim face, and a sash fashioned with the red Shredder logo from that show. He’s basically all silver and black and his eyes are little white points in the blackness of his helm. The main difference between the two designs is the texture of the armor of this figure is a bit more realistic and also weathered, to a degree. And his eyes aren’t red. The number of blades on the shins and forearms is different and this Shredder has a fashionable, purple, cape and sash.
And if JoyToy is indeed going to copy that 2003 look of the villain then that’s a pretty good one to copy. I love Shredder in that show and I was really impressed with his portrayal back then so this is a great foundation for this figure. It’s a lot of colored plastic, but there’s a dark wash applied to grime the figure up a bit. There is some white on the sleeves which is oddly placed, but the metallic armor does a decent job of selling the illusion of metal. The one aspect of the presentation I’m a little down on is the height. At 4.25″ this Shredder isn’t much taller than the turtles who stood right around 4″. This puts Shredder at about 6.375′ if he were a real person. That’s well above average and seems about right for Shredder so I guess my issue is more with the height of the turtles, not Shredder.
I don’t know what these weapons are, but they’re pretty gnarly.Ninja stars? Why not?
Shredder comes with a bunch of stuff, some expected, some familiar, and plenty new. For hands, Shredder has gripping, tighter gripping, and bladed. The bladed hands are fists with his customary blades that are held affixed to a band that slide over his fingers. They look cool, but if you want to utilize his weapons then you’ll have to go with the gripping hands. And for weapons, Shredder has a katana, a short sword, and a pair of double-bladed weapons. The curved nature of the bladed portions makes me think of the weapon included with the Playmates turtles that resembled a hook of sorts, even though it’s a different shape this time around. Shredder does not have storage for those, or technically any weapons. He has a pair of scabbards on his belt, but they have dummy handles that plug into them. The scabbards are a bit warped from the package so maybe that’s why? I’m surprised they don’t just function as intended. There’s also a pair of throwing stars which work well with the tighter gripping hands and Shredder also comes with a disc stand with his own logo on it. Like the turtles, he has a quadrant of a larger display stand. This one is made of white “stone” with a center manhole so it’s different from what the turtles came with which is cool. I’ll need more figures if I want to make a whole base.
He has better range going out to the sides at the hips than the turtles, but kicking forward is still an issue.
Articulation for Shredder is similar to the turtles, but also different. The head feels like a double ball peg and the softness of the helm allows for a decent range of motion. The ball hinge shoulders work fine and the shoulder pads are soft and can be dealt with there. Peg and hinge elbows allow for swivel and 90 degrees of bend. Wrists are ball-hinges, rather than double-ball pegs, and they work as intended. The diaphragm features a ball joint with another at the waist. Between the two, Shredder gets good rotation and even decent forward and back “crunching” motion. It can get a little gappy, but it’s not too bad. Hips continue to be a problem for JoyToy though. Shredder can almost hit a split, so that is much improved over the turtles. He can kick back an okay amount, but kicking forward is dreadful. I don’t know what they’re doing to so severely limit the forward movement of the legs, but they need to correct that. There’s just not enough room between the top of the leg and the abdomen so if you push it beyond what it wants to do you’ll probably separate the figure at the waist. Since it’s a ball joint, this isn’t a scary thing, but it makes it easy to see what’s going on. There is a thigh swivel which does what thigh swivels do. Double-jointed knees go a little beyond 90 and the ankles work well with a hinge and rocker setup.
Shredder triumphant!
I really like this Shredder. It’s not perfect, but for a 1:18 Shredder it’s pretty much all we have in this scale. And that by no means is an indication that I’m settling here. This is a nice figure. The upper body poses really well and you should have no trouble finding some intimidating poses for this figure. And I think it’s a better overall figure than the turtles and I really like those figures. If you’re into this scale and took the plunge on those turtles, then you owe it to yourself to add this Shredder to your collection. He’s great and it makes me want to see more from this line. Maybe I should get the Foot Soldiers I passed on? Can I continue to hold out hope that BBTS will get Bebop and Rocksteady? I’d hate to miss out.
We’ve got more Shredders and more JoyToy Turtles for you to check out:
It’s been said before and it will be said again: everyone is making Ninja Turtles. It feels like the list of companies not making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is smaller than the list of those who are. Viacom has not been shy about licensing the brand out to toy makers and it’s reaching a point…
Where do you take your heroic comic book franchise when you kill your main villain in the first issue? Well, you first undo that rash decision by bringing him back! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles co-creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird famously killed The Shredder in the first issue of their comic. They never intended to…
For today’s latest Turtle Tuesday action figure review, I think we can go a little light. That’s because I am looking at yet another action figure release from the Mattel Masters of the Universe Origins – Turtles of Grayskull crossover line between the heroes and villains of MOTU and those of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.…
JoyToy is coming in hot at the end of the year with its take on TMNT.
It’s been said before and it will be said again: everyone is making Ninja Turtles. It feels like the list of companies not making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is smaller than the list of those who are. Viacom has not been shy about licensing the brand out to toy makers and it’s reaching a point where there isn’t much for companies new to the brand to do. How does one stand out? There’s been different versions of the gang throughout the years, but even the hideous Christmas turtles received figures this year. We’ve got toys based on the old cartoon, the kind of old cartoon, the cartoon that feels new (but is actually a dozen years old), movies, old comics, new comics, toys of toys and did I mention the ugly Christmas turtles? Yeah, it’s crazy, and I guess we’re in the midst of a new golden age when it comes to TMNT action figures, but one aspect of the brand that has not been tackled much is a smaller scale. Specifically, 1:18.
These turtles are pretty little. Left is a Super7 Ultimates, right is a Playmates Raphael.
The 1:18 scale basically owes itself to Kenner and its original Star Wars line. Kenner wanted to be able to sell action figures of characters like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, but also their spaceships. Prior to that, most figures were pretty damn big. Think classic G.I. Joe. If your figure is 8″ tall well then the spaceship he rides in is going to be both massive and expensive. When Kenner did its Star Wars line there really wasn’t a science to it they just arbitrarily settled on 3.75″ for the figures. It’s basically been retrofitted as 1:18 scale and after the success Kenner had Hasbro would follow suit with the original action figure, G.I. Joe. Over the years, scale has become more uniform. Or at least, close to it. Most figure lines (and collectors) seem to prefer 1:12 or six inch scale for their figures. Of course, there’s “import 1:12” and “Marvel Legends 1:12” so nothing is completely scientific. There’s also a tendency for taller characters to get shrunk a little and smaller ones made bigger to find a middle ground of sorts. Usually there’s an anchor character and others are supposed to scale off of that character. And often times we’re talking scale with characters that don’t physically exist and different artists draw them differently. It’s very much an inexact science.
And here is Leo with some other dainty figures (left to right): Vintage Collection Boba Fett, ReAction Michelangelo, Plunderling
With Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the original Playmates line didn’t really have a scale. Characters were all pretty close in height and the taller guys would be sculpted all hunched over and such. Modern lines have adopted more of a scale with NECA hitting something close to 1:12 with its toon line and 1:10 with its movie figures. Super7 goes for 1:10, Mezco 1:12, and so on. No one is doing 1:18 though unless you count Super7’s ReAction figures, but they’re more like the old Kenner stuff in that there isn’t really a scale.
JoyToy took an interesting approach to the shells.
When I was a kid, I can remember my mom telling me that Burger King was going to have Ninja Turtles in its kid’s meals soon. I was excited because I liked Burger King and I loved TMNT. In my head, they were going to be mini figures similar what I already had, just on a smaller scale. In reality, they were badges and pretty lame. That idea of small TMNT figures never left my brain though and was something I wanted. I kind of liked neat, tidy, things. I didn’t really associate size with value unless we were talking about “deluxe” sized figures like the 12″ stuff. And as an adult, I collect mostly 1:12 and 1:10 rarely dipping into the larger or smaller scales, but that’s not because I dislike either. I think the 1:18 Star Wars figures are actually pretty cool, I’m just not that into Star Wars. When I saw a company was doing 1:18 turtles, I immediately took notice, even though I had never heard of the company before.
Everybody gets a skateboard, some pizza, and a Turtlecom.
And that company is JoyToy. They’re a Chinese toy producer that seems to be mostly known for Warhammer stuff. I took a look at some of the stuff they’ve done, thought it looked pretty cool, then searched for a place I could buy these things. I’m guessing that JoyToy only has a license to distribute these in Asia because a lot of the usual places aren’t carrying them. I ended up ordering from 5k Toys, a vendor I’ve heard a lot of good things about, but never used myself. The figures were around 30 bucks a piece so not cheap, but not as high as some other figure lines I buy. I had to wait a bit, but they arrived eventually right around Thanksgiving. It’s taken me while to get to talking about them because of Christmas and all, but now I’m ready to and I have a lot of good things to say.
These figures don’t really need it, but they do each come with a small logo stand.
The JoyToy turtles all come in their own window box with modern logos printed on. These are official products, just not made for distribution in the US. The turtles are almost comically small inside these boxes which are bigger than most S.H.Figuarts boxes I have, but they do offer a good look at the product inside. The turtles are all a unique design, but it’s a design that’s a bit familiar. They all feature the standard colored masks and pads, but they also have tape around the wrists and ankles which is similar to the 2012 Turtles. I get a DreamEx vibe from them, a company that made TMNT figures several years back, and also a bit of a Mortal Kombat one. It’s mixed with a touch of the 2003 turtles which I see in the faces. The whited-out eyes with smiles (for Mikey and Donnie, at least) are the biggest contributors to that impression.
JoyToy’s approach to the belts has stirred some controversy in the TMNT community.
Each turtle is the same shade of green which is a fairly dark, saturated, green. It’s very close to what I think of as the default Leonardo green in a lot of TMNT media. There’s liberal use of paint washes on them, but there is also a glossy quality to the green. It’s almost like they’re sculpted out of hard candy. It’s weird since typically one associates shiny figures with cheapness, but these don’t look cheap. The plastron has a more scalloped appearance than is typical and it’s partly due to the articulation cut. All of the turtles also have a chest strap. In an odd quirk, the belts do not continue onto the shell, but behind it. For weapon holsters, Leo and Donnie have sheaths bolted onto their shells. Raph has a spiked piece of steel while Mikey has a license plate, for some reason. He’s also the only one lacking weapon storage options, which is odd. There’s a chain on the license plate that you can finagle his weapons into, but it’s a curious choice to make.
These effect weapons are pretty rad. Raph’s is probably the worst of the four as there isn’t an obvious effect for a sai.
All of the figures seem to utilize the same body. The chest and heads are the only different parts as they all have a different chest strap. Leo’s is just a basic belt, Donnie’s has a pouch sculpted in, Raph has some kunai, and Mikey has what looks like an old iPod sculpted onto his. Portraits are obviously different which is often the case for TMNT. Leo has a scowl on his face with a slightly pointed beak. Donnie has a wry smile while Mikey is showing some teeth. Raph has the classic Turtle grimace with exposed teeth on each side of his mouth. With these heads, I’d say the beaks are slightly understated, but the overall shape is still pretty much traditional TMNT. The elbow and knee pads have more of a standard sports equipment look to them with some nice texture. They’re also floating and each turtle has a different piece of thigh armor. Leo has these studded thigh pads on both legs while the other turtles only have one. And they’re different for each with Donnie having more pouches, Raph more knives, and Mikey some spray paint canisters (non-removable). Donatello also gets a satchel that appears to be a med kit which he can remove if you like. I suppose the thigh parts are also removable, but you would have to pop the legs off in order to get at them.
Like the 2012 versions of the characters, Mikey gets the shortest bandana tails.
And then there’s the size. These turtle boys stand pretty much right at the 4″ mark. A four inche turtle in true 1:18 scale would come out to these being 6′ tall in “real life.” That’s big for a ninja turtle who typically are much closer to 5′, but this is also JoyToy doing their own thing. Proportionally speaking, they look like taller turtles. The torso is longer and more like a typical comic book super hero. It will be interesting to see how other characters in the line scale with them. I’d prefer Shredder, for example, be at least a little taller. I guess we’ll see. In terms of actual height, they’re not much smaller than vintage Playmates figures, but one look at the proportions tells you this is a totally different scale as they’re not nearly as chunky. And if you’re going to do TMNT in this scale I think it makes sense to go a little bigger. If these were much smaller they might not look or function as well as they do.
These guys pose pretty well with nice, tight, joints.
And function is certainly what JoyToy is going for. These maybe something closer to Kenner sized, but they’re far from Kenner articulated. Each turtle articulates about the same and they feature double-ball pegged heads, shoulder hinges, single elbows, double-ball peg wrists, ball-jointed diaphragm, ball-jointed waist, ball-socket hips with thigh swivel, double-jointed knees, and hinged ankles that also feature an ankle rocker. The biggest limitations are found at the elbows, hips, and knees. Elbows will only bend 90 degrees while the knees will get just better than 90 as the kneepads seem to impede the range. The hips are a bit puzzling. They only go out to about 45 degrees which is disappointing. The thigh armor gets in the way, but even on the legs without they still don’t go much farther. It seems the thigh swivel catches on the belt and they basically all have pouches on their belts which get in the way. They also can’t kick forward 90 degrees and it just seems like something is off with how the joint was engineered. It’s easily the weakest aspect for these guys. The added joints in the torso also aren’t going to really deliver a proper ab crunch, but they will allow for swivel and tilt points.
Each figures comes with a quadrant of the below manhole cover diorama which can be snapped together.
The accessory load-out for these guys is pretty similar from turtle to turtle. You’re going to get hands, weapons, effect weapons, a skateboard, and something unique. For hands, each turtle has gripping hands, fists, open hands, and tighter gripping hands. Getting them on and off was okay for 3 of my 4. Raph was the troublemaker and the double-ball peg for the wrist kept popping out of the arm on me, but a little dunk in hot water fixed that. Some hands also won’t go on nicely the first time and may also need a dip. Each turtle has a chunk of road with a piece of a manhole cover on it that can go together to form a little diorama. There’s a single foot peg on each piece too which is kind of cool. If that’s too cumbersome, there’s also an included disc stand with the TMNT logo on it. The skateboard is the same across all four, it’s just painted slightly different to match each turtle. There’s a foot peg and real wheels and it’s fine, if you want a skateboard. Each turtle comes with an open Turtle-Com. It’s painted pretty well and resembles the old cartoon, it’s just pretty big for a 1:18 scale version. It’s almost the size of their entire forearm, but I guess cell phones were pretty big in the 80s. Each turtle also has a pizza slice in some state of consumption. It too is pretty big so I guess these are those massive New York style slices. Paint isn’t great though as the yellow cheese has a green tint to it. I’m guessing it’s molded in green and painted over. I can’t see myself using them.
There’s a foot peg for each turtle on this thing once assembled plus plenty of room in the middle.
Each turtle comes with the weapon you would expect. And like the 2k3 series, they’re colored as well to match each turtle. Leo has his twin katana, Donnie his bo staff, Raph a pair of sai, and Mikey his nunchaku. The nunchaku are all plastic, no chains, and one is slightly open and the other features the handles closer together. Donatello also has the previously mentioned satchel and he also has a wrench, for some reason. It can fit onto a loop on the med kit, but it’s not that secure. Each turtle also has effect weapons and these are pretty cool. They’re done with translucent, blue, plastic. For Leo, it’s done like an afterimage effect with his swinging katana. They’re painted really well and the effect is awesome. Donatello has a spinning bo, though it doesn’t actually spin unless you spin his hand at the wrist. Mikey has two, whirling, nunchaku and they too don’t spin, but still look awesome. Raph has a thrusting effect that makes me think of video game moves or something. One of them has some yellow paint on the translucent section which sucks. I’ll have to see if it will rub off with a Magic Eraser. All of the effect weapons are self-contained, they’re not effects that clip onto the normal weapons, and they all look terrific. I honestly can’t see myself displaying these figures without them in most cases. Raph’s are the least dramatic, but still useful. I’m in love with the Leonardo sword effects. Other companies need to rip those off.
Of course, we can’t forget about the pizza. Raph’s kind of looks like an alien profile.
What I haven’t really mentioned is the feel these figures possess in-hand. Despite their small size, they’re sturdy. Joints are pretty smooth, but also tight. I’ve had Mikey in a running post on my desk for weeks where only one foot is on the surface and he hasn’t fallen over. He looks so awesome in this pose that I don’t even want to move him for pictures, but obviously I’ll have to. These are great desk buddies as they’re just fun to mess with. They come with useful hands and extra stuff, but I’ll be unlikely to swap out their gripping hands because I like my turtles with weapons in hand. The only negative is that the hips suck. If JoyToy could fix those then these would be even better. An extra portrait for each turtle would have been cool too, or the ability to swivel the bandana knots, but those are nitpicks. I’m pretty happy with the look of each turtle as-is.
Be sure to check back because we’re not done with JoyToy yet!
I think JoyToy is onto something here with TMNT in this scale. It’s too bad they’re a little harder to come by in the US, but not impossible. There are plenty of retailers selling them and with reasonable shipping to the US. Big Bad Toy Store did list the Bebop and Rocksteady from this line for a little while, but have since taken them down which makes me think they won’t be carrying any product from this line likely due to distribution issues. I reached out to them to see if the figures were still coming and they just said they were working out some details with the manufacturer and that they’d be back on the site soon. That was weeks ago so I’m guessing if I want that duo then I’ll have to go elsewhere. By the time this goes up I should have Shredder and hopefully that review isn’t too far away. These are great though. They aren’t perfect, but I quite like them and they’re among my favorite toys of 2024. If you like the look of these turtles and are interested in a smaller scale then I definitely recommend checking them out.
We have other TMNT reviews and even some 1:18 stuff if you haven’t had your fill yet:
If you know anything about me then you probably know that I like collecting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures and I like Christmas. Strangely, those two things have not come together all that often. Most of the television shows featuring the famed four opted not to feature the holiday in an episode. And without…
I’ve been collecting action figures in some capacity for my whole life, and it occurred to me now that I’ve never owned the Fett man. That’s Boba Fett, who is one of the most iconic characters from Star Wars and also pretty noteworthy in the world of action figures. I am not the place for…
Pack your bags and grab the sunscreen because today we’re heading to Florida! It’s vacation time folks, and even the bad guys deserve a little fun in the sun sometimes. Coming from NECA Toys we have another fun variant of the duo Bebop and Rocksteady. Always more comic relief than true threat, the boys come…
After putting a real hurting on my wallet in 2023, Mondo decided to take it easy in 2024 with its line of sixth scale action figures based on the animated series X-Men which ran from 1992-1997 on Fox Kids. Two figures ended up getting released this year, Rogue and now the leader of the X-Men Cyclops. With Cyclops though we get a slight change because easily the biggest thing to happen to the X-Men in 2024 was the release of X-Men ’97. Well, some would argue for a movie staring a foul-mouthed merc and an old man as being the biggest business in the X world, but I’m going with the Disney+ series. Since the show turned out to be quite the hit, and because it’s a continuation of the original X-Men series, Mondo decided its figures could use a little rebranding which is why Cyclops is the first release to be billed as hailing from the new show. What does this mean for the figure itself? Not a whole lot.
Yeah, I know, this isn’t a fair comparison.
Cyclops still comes in the same style of window box with artwork from storyboard artist Dan Veesenmeyer. The difference between his release and the others is that the character model definitely resembles the look from X-Men ’97 and not the original show. That’s not a huge change as the costume is the same, but Cyclops has a slightly slimmer profile and the detail work is a dead ringer for the same in the new show. For the figure, there’s really no change and Mondo via its YouTube channel has basically admitted that the figures are going to hew closer to the original series. It’s just now they will be able to toss-in items and accessories pulled directly from the new show where it makes sense.
“To me, my X-Men!”
And we pretty much know this to be true because concept art for Cyclops was shown well before X-Men ’97 debuted. Here we have another sculpt by the awesome Alex Brewer with paint by Tomasz Rozejowski that really harkens back to 1992 and that original Fox series. Cyclops stands a full 12″ and is clad in his yellow and blue Jim Lee outfit which he wore almost exclusively in that show. Like prior figures in this line, there were two editions of Cyclops made available and I opted for the limited version which came with extra stuff which we’ll get to.
You may want to separate these two on your shelf.
The sculpt for Cyclops may not be complex, but it gets the job done. He’s well-muscled and proportioned with a portrait that evokes the original series. The details one would expect are in place like the segmented straps on the belt or the pouches and straps. There’s even a little extra detail where the chest strap attaches to the lower belt that I don’t remember seeing in the show. The hair and the visor are all appropriate and the placement of the thigh straps appears spot-on as well (they’re also floating and slightly annoying as a result). That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for some nitpicks. Cyclops was nicknamed Slim early on, but by the 90s he was a pretty massive dude. This figure depicts him as a big guy, but maybe not quite as big as he could be. The legs look fine and so do the arms, but the chest and abdomen strike me as a bit undersized. It’s almost like Mondo aimed to fit this Cyclops figure in-between the 92 and 97 version. It could also be for a different reason which ties into the extra stuff. This version of Cyclops has removable arms and an optional flight jacket part like the Logan figure. If he were any bigger he might look huge with the jacket. If so, I disagree with the approach as the jacketed look should be a secondary concern, but the feature also seems to play a role with his shoulders being set apart from the body. These are all things mostly noticeable when the figure is just standing straight up and down, pose him and it’s less an issue, but it’s an expensive figure so we have to nitpick where it’s warranted.
He scales well enough with the bad guys too.
What really offers no room for disappointment is the paint. Mondo just slays when it comes to that part of the presentation and Cyclops is no different. The base blue is the perfect royal blue and the lighter blue used to shade it and the blacks all make him pop. The yellow is the right shade with just a hint of red of in it to lessen that lemony look the Hasbro figure of the same has. The different shades of gold used to apply the cel-shading for the yellow looks great and everything is rich and full. There’s an impressive lack of paint slop and issues as well. With such an ambitious paint job some of that is expected, but I’m finding it hard to notice with this one. There’s a visible brush stroke on the chest strap, but apart from that I’m at a loss. This is some really impressive execution so Mondo better hang onto whatever factory put this one together.
Mondo decided it was important Cyclops be able to do stuff like this.
Cyclops comes with new branding, but he also comes with new articulation. Mondo tends to keep things basic with its figures as they prioritize aesthetics over function. And at this scale, I think that’s the right approach. However, there’s no denying that certain characters need to be able to hit certain poses and for Cyclops it’s being able to place a hand on the side of his visor to activate his optic blasts (even though we also see him do so without pressing a button in the show, but lets just go with it). In order to achieve that function, Mondo opted to incorporate double-jointed elbows into this one. And they work great, no problem hitting that pose and he can pretty much put his hand to his X communicator on his chest as well. And the aesthetics trade-off is nil, as far as I’m concerned. We’re all toy collectors and we’re used to double-jointed elbows. They look fine, better than the swivel joint used on Wolverine and Sabretooth that has some miscolored plastic, so I hope they do this more going forward.
This is a team that loves a good, brown, jacket.
Aside from that, the articulation is pretty much the same as other figures. The head is on a double-ball peg and the range is pretty nice. It is a little more gappy than past figures, but I’m guessing they prioritized plus range at the head given his unique skillset. The shoulders are the usual ball-hinges with a bicep swivel past that. Wrists are ball-hinged and they can be tight, but I didn’t experience any issues. The torso is where things get less impressive. Cyclops has the usual ball-jointed diaphragm and waist, but he also has that unique belt that goes around his chest. It’s connected to the belt at his waist so it’s going to get in the way. It has some play and will float when you manipulate the chest, but the range is okay, at best. Hips are ball-sockets with thigh swivels built in, but the rubber trunks will hinder the figure’s ability to kick forward and back. I can get him into one knee poses, but it’s awkward and one must be mindful of paint rub. Knees are double-jointed and the ankles hinge forward and back with an ankle rocker. The ankles are pretty tight, but I didn’t need to heat them up to get them working. Shoulders are really tight too, but again, no heat needed as I just went easy.
Multi-blast!This is the big one.It sags a little.
Cyclops has a ton of extra stuff to go through so let’s not waste any time. We’ll do the standard version accessories first which include a stoic head and a yelling head. Both feature interchangeable visors and come with a standard one by default. Getting the visors off and on is pretty painless, and both heads can use all of the visors. The extras are a visor with a lens flare and one with a slot in it for blast effects. And for blast effects we get two by default. The first is a pretty standard Cyclops blast. It’s 4″ long or so with a splash effect at the end. The easiest way to put it on is to slot it through the visor first, then plug it into the head. It can only go in one way so if it doesn’t fit just spin it around. The other blast effect is an arc with four short blasts. It strikes me as a very Marvel vs Capcom effect and it looks pretty cool. Both are done on translucent red plastic which feels appropriate for a Cyclops effect. They’re rigid so hopefully none arrived warp. I love the look of the blast, and the lens flare part is also pretty cool, so settling on a display is actually quite challenging with this guy. You’ll want to swap some stuff from time to time.
“I was raised by a cup of coffee.”
Cyclops also has an assortment of hands to make use of. By default, he comes with a set of fists which are always useful. In addition to that he has two clenching hands, two “finger bang” hands, a set of two-finger hands for his optic blasts, and a single right gripping hand. The gripping hand is for his cup of coffee which is included. This was seen a few times in the first season, most memorably for me in “Deadly Reunions,” and it’s a pink cup with sculpted steam wafting off of it. Even though Mondo included a gripping hand for it, I find the clenching hands work just as well to hold it. Swapping heads and visors is painless with this guy, but the hands are tough. The pegs going into the arms are ribbed when they probably don’t really need to be. The ball hinge also plugs into the hand and each hand is on its own, which is how Mondo always does it. Initially, I felt like the fists were more likely to come off at the hand and not where they’re supposed to in the forearm, so I heated the forearms of my figure with warm water. It’s made easier by the fact that the arms are designed to pop off. I was then able to get the hands out, but it was dicey. I’m reluctant to really jam any of the hands into his forearms as a result, though I haven’t had the same level of difficulty with the other hands.
Sometimes it gets cold out there.
That’s all the stuff that comes with the standard, $220, version. The $240 limited edition has a few more things including the aforementioned jacket. Swapping the arms isn’t too bad and the jacket arms come with bare fists. The fists are actually the exact same as the standard fists just painted flesh colored. They are removable, though I haven’t bothered since they’re in there pretty good. He sometimes wore gloves with the jacket in the show so the other hands work with this look as well. The arms are also double-jointed at the elbows just like the standard ones so there’s no loss of articulation in swapping them. I think he looks great with the jacket and it’s a tough call on how to display him. Right now, I’ve gone without, but I’ll be changing it from time to time for sure. Oh, and I had to try because this look is so close to Morph, but the Morph heads don’t fit. The opening is way too small, which is probably good so that I’m not tempted to attempt a very expensive custom.
The big blast needs a little help.“Take that, hairball!”
Cyclops would wear the jacket in the field plenty, but sometimes also to look more casual. To that end he has an uncowled head. It looks great and his eyes are painted red, which makes sense. Maybe some would have preferred brown eyes for the few times he was depowered in the show, but many won’t display him like that because he also has his shades. They’re black with the red lenses that have some white shading on them which looks nice. They’re a little brittle feeling, but have held up fine so far. They slot into his temples and look great when in place. He also has yet another visor that’s been removed so he can either hold it or stick it around his neck or something. It’s a nice touch. I will say, this head is the most X-Men ’97 looking part of the package, which could be intentional. This version also comes with another effect part that is one, massive, blast that’s almost 8″ long. It has a large splash effect at the end and it looks cool, but it’s heavy. There’s some drooping with this one so I’m reluctant to leave it in place for long stretches of time. It probably works best in tandem with an enemy getting blasted so there’s some added support for it.
Probably not going to be the preferred look for most collectors.This head can make use of the blasts though.
Oh, but we’re not done! Mondo likes to toss in a goofy accessory with all of these special editions. We had the elf Jubilee portrait, Gambit as Mystique, and the Morph heads. With Cyclops, it’s a Sentinel head styled to resemble Cyclops. This is taken from the episode “Till Death Do Us Part – Part One” where Wolverine is battling Cyclops robots in the Danger Room. It looks the part and is pretty ridiculous when placed on the head of the figure, but it’s there if you want it. And Mondo went the extra mile and also included a swappable visor piece so he too can make use of the blast effects. It’s a little tighter a fit than the other visor, but it works. I’ll never use it, but it’s funny. Maybe it can be used as a head of a fallen Sentinel with Wolverine or something? Lastly, there’s also the usual Mondo stand. I don’t use them so I didn’t even take it out of the plastic. I wish they’d put an X emblem on it like the Logan one, but it’s fine.
“How do I turn these darn things off?!”
Ultimately, this is another home run by Mondo. Cyclops is a much needed addition to the roster of characters and he turned out pretty great. Did I have issues? Yeah, because nothing is perfect. I’d have liked to see a little more beef in the torso, but that is basically the end of my complaints. I do think the hands could have been made to swap easier and the hands are a longstanding issue with the line (though it’s been better, Magneto was rough). I get why things are tight though because these are big, solid, figures and loose joints would kill them. This figure poses reasonably well and the swappable effect parts and heads are all a ton of fun. This is probably the figure that is the most fun to pick a display, though Gambit and Jubilee are pretty great at that too.
It’s the Blast Squad!
Cyclops is definitely the last figure from this line to see release in 2024, but on-deck is another Wolverine. Alex Brewer has sculpted all of the figures in the line since the original Wolverine so Mondo wanted to get his take on the character and the looks we’ve had are promising. There’s also a retro Cyclops coming based on his look in the season finale of X-Men ’97. I have not gone for the variants in this line and I didn’t go in for that one either. We should also start seeing the first figures from the Spider-Man ’94 line very soon. I don’t plan on going all-in with that one, but expect at least a couple reviews of that line. Beyond that, we don’t know what’s next, but it sure seems like this line is going strong. If I had to guess, I’d say Storm will follow Wolverine, but I hope we get all of the core cast from the ’92 series. Even though it gets harder and harder to find room each time one arrives.
If you liked this review, then check out more from Mondo’s X-Men line:
The conclusion of X-Men ’97’s first season has left behind a void. For 9 consecutive Wednesdays, we had something awesome to get up for. Now the long wait for a second season has begun, but here to help fill the void while we wait is Mondo. Mondo has been dishing out some very impressive sixth…
Mondo has been absolutely killing it with its sixth scale line of action figures based on the now classic animated series X-Men. The company also really ramped up production in 2023 on the line by soliciting five new figures during the year. At over 200 bucks a pop, it was quite the hit to the…
It is my belief that when it comes to X-Men, the animated series which debuted in 1992, the breakout star of the show was Gambit. Wolverine was the closest thing we had to a household name going into the show and was the de-facto pick for favorite character of many. And while the whole roster…
Well folks, we did it! We made it to another Christmas! These things come faster and faster each year which makes something like an online advent calendar helpful as it attempts to keep the season from going by even faster. It’s cliché, but the years go by even faster the older you get and if you have kids it seems worse. It’s great to stop, breathe, and just try to take it all in for I know if I’m fortunate enough to live to be an old man I’ll probably look back on my life and think it went by in a flash.
That’s the sort of melancholy vibes Christmas brings about for me, but it’s important to remember this is a day of fun. Of revelry! I try to save a good one for each December 25th, or at least a weird one (I did go with Samurai Pizza Cats one year), and this year I felt like turning the day over to America’s real first family: The Simpsons.
Homer is going full Grinch in this one. Well, sort of.
The Simpsons has been featured here before. Many times too. The show has staked its claim to Halloween via the Treehouse of Horror anthology series, but it was Christmas that marked the show’s debut. For years the show avoided the topic as how could anyone hope to top the show’s debut episode? Eventually, that fear subsided and the show started cranking them out. Not quite annually, but there’s certainly plenty at this point. And today’s episode comes from the show’s fifteenth season and is appropriately titled “‘Tis the Fifteenth Season.” At the time, it felt like quite the achievement to be on the air so long that it was celebrated, or at least marked, in the very title of the episode. Now, it almost seems quaint. Fifteen seasons isn’t even half the show’s current total. Will The Simpsons ever end? When I was a mopey teen angry the show wasn’t as funny as I remembered it being I would have said it needs to die, but now I’m just curious to see how long it can go. There’s a comfort in knowing that every fall a new season of The Simpsons debuts. It probably won’t go on forever, but that doesn’t mean it can’t try.
In almost any other episode, I would have liked this couch gag, but this is not the holiday couch gag I’m looking for.
The first episode aired of The Simpsons, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire,” was pretty much a Homer (Dan Castellaneta) story. He was denied a Christmas bonus and Marge (Julie Kavner) spent all of the family’s extra money on getting a tattoo removed off of Bart (Nancy Cartwright). Rather than come clean, Homer takes a part time job as a mall Santa to earn extra money in hopes of providing his family with the kind of gifts he felt they deserved. Or rather, the type of gifts that would make him feel like a successful provider. Following that episode, Homer would take a back seat in future holiday outings. We had episodes centered around Bart, Lisa, and even Marge while Homer was like a sidecar. The kids need his help in the waning moments of “Grift of the Magi” to steal some toys, he and Flanders have a B plot in “Skinner’s Sense of Snow,” and that’s kind of it. In today’s episode, Homer is very much the focal point as he must learn the spirit of giving, then learn to reject materialism, then…become the Grinch? This one ends in a place one wouldn’t have predicted at the start, so let’s jump into it and see how we get there.
How is it that Itchy and Scratchy are able to exist in this space?
This holiday episode of The Simpsons begins with the standard, abbreviated, opening where we just jump right to Marge almost running Homer over in the driveway. The couch gag isn’t even holiday themed, it’s anime, which is a surprise. We’re not off to a good start here. The episode proper then begins not with Christmas, but Thanksgiving. The family is watching a Channel 6 holiday broadcast featuring Krusty (Castellaneta), Sideshow Mel (Castellaneta), Mr. Teeny, and a large woman dressed as a ballerina. Am I supposed to know who she is? Kent Brockman is appearing via cardboard cutout which Krusty informs us he’s contractually allowed to do because he’s in rehab. Again. Oh, and Itchy and Scratchy are present too which is really confusing. Are they someone in costume? Are they animation and we can’t tell because the whole show is animated? Anyway, Krusty informs the viewers for every dollar spent on Krusty merchandise he’ll be nice to a sick kid. And that hookers with a cold count as sick kids. Never change, Krusty.
Homer no like sweater.
It’s now time for Christmas decorating, and set to “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” we see Homer and the kids putting up the decorations. Bart and Lisa (Yeardley Smith) twirl some string lights like a lasso and fling them on the bushes outside. Homer tries to do the same with a tree and inadvertently kills two birds in the process which he slyly covers with snow and walks off. Inside, the stockings are being hung with care one by one until we get to Grandpa (Castellaneta) who hangs an IV bag instead. Marge is shown putting the family dog, Santa’s Little Helper, in a festive sweater which he predictably hates. We pan over to Snowball II who is already in a sweater and doing her best to get it off. The camera continues it’s pan to find Homer also in a sweater and also desperately trying to remove it with his teeth like an animal. Never change, Homer.
Looks like someone forgot Lenny’s present.
We now are taken to the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant where it’s apparently already time to exchange Secret Santa gifts. Carl (Hank Azaria) is Homer’s Secret Santa and he has quite the present for the big guy: a new DVD player and the first season of Magnum P.I. Homer is quite happy with this extravagant offering (come on Carl, there had to have been a limit you blew by), but there’s a problem. No one has a present for Lenny (No, not Lenny!) and that’s because Homer is his Secret Santa. Realizing he forgot, Homer runs offscreen and we get to hear him battle with a vending machine. Lenny (Harry Shearer) can tell what’s going on and a scowl crosses his face before Homer returns with his gift: a roll of Certs. Homer seems pleased with himself, but Lenny doesn’t hold back and tells him that his gift flat-out stinks. Carl piles on too telling Homer he’s the most selfish man he knows (then why did you go all out on Homer’s gift, Carl?). Homer appears offended and tries to defend himself by saying Mr. Burns is the most selfish man around. He starts to bad mouth him, and Skinner, only for Burns to sidle up behind him without him knowing.
I’m surprised this hasn’t been utilized for a current plot.
Burns (Shearer) hears the insults, but laughs startling Homer. He declares that Homer’s very obvious description of him describes “Cathy in personnel” to a tee. Who is this mystery woman? No time for that, for Burns is here to hand out Christmas bonuses. This feels familiar. The bonus this year? A five dollar voucher to the plant cafeteria which no one is happy with. I guess it’s better than the series premiere when they got nothing? Burns has something special for Bart though, I guess because he knows Homer has a son? They’ve obviously crossed paths many a time, but I don’t get the sense that he’s giving Bart a gift because of any of that. The gift is, as Burns puts it, a confectioner’s card of a current baseball player. The way he phrases it he clearly doesn’t place any value on this card, but it’s a Joe DiMaggio card and a pretty famous one in card collecting circles at that. Not that Homer is aware. Burns refers to DiMaggio as a rookie for the New York Nine and when Homer says the name in disbelief (likely because he knows that Joe DiMaggio has long since passed his rookie days) Burns confirms it’s him and adds, “It seems they’re now letting ethnics into the big leagues.” He then turns away from Homer and is surprised to see Cathy (Tress MacNeille), from personnel! She looks exactly like Burns and he asks her how things in personnel are she has a one word response for him: Excellent.
Oh no! He must deftly lick it off!
Homer may not know how valuable the card is, but he knows it’s worth something so he takes it to the only place in town he’d logically go: The Android’s Dungeon. Homer finds Comic Book Guy (Azaria) eating some nachos from his usual perch atop his stool and asks if he can get any money for the card? Comic Book Guy takes one look at it and nearly has a heart attack as he turns up his cash register and empties its contents onto the counter. He greedily snatches the card from Homer, but then immediately begins to fret because he got nacho cheese on it. He reasons the only solution is to deftly lick it off, which he does. Homer just grabs his armful of cash and walks off remarking “Freak,” under his breath. We don’t know how much Homer just got, but probably not a substantial amount? Most stores only keep so much money on-hand, though I suppose a business that buys and sells might have more than usual. Either way, he probably didn’t get full value since that’s a card worth tens of thousands of dollars, but at least he’s happy.
Jesus was a prune? I guess I’ve learned something today.
We return to 742 Evergreen Terrace to find the rest of the family seated in front of the TV. A common past time for the Simpson family. They’re watching the 1986 “classic” Christmas with the California Prunes. Obviously, this is a parody of the 1987 sorta classic A Claymation Christmas which featured the California Raisins, a special I probably should have covered by now, but just have not. This could almost barely be considered a parody as we get to see some of this special which features claymation characters that look almost exactly like the California Raisins. There’s a soulful rendition of “Oh Holy Night” being played (and possibly sung by Karl Wiedergott since he’s listed in the credits, but not assigned a role), but with words adjusted to better fit prunes like “We are the fruit that your grandmother eats.” It’s also a nativity scene so if you ever wanted to see what Jesus would look like as a prune, well now you have. I think this is actually really close to the actual segment it’s parodying so if this seems ridiculous, there’s a more sincere version out there. Lisa declares it offensive to Christians and prunes. You know what it’s not offensive to? Animation fans, because this segment looks way too good to just be a quick gag on an episode of The Simpsons.
Comic Book Guy sure keeps a lot of cash in his register.
Homer then comes bursting into the room with his hands and pockets overflowing with cash. He declares they’re going shopping at the Springfield Heights Promenade. Marge jumps up with excitement declaring “That’s the rich people’s mall! Let’s shop till we droop!” Lisa corrects her to say it’s drop, but Marge just scolds her with “That’s a very violent image, Lisa.” Burl Ives then whisks us into Springfield Heights with his version of “Silver and Gold.” The tagline for this place is “Our prices discriminate because we can’t.” It’s basically a fancy outdoor marketplace. I’m not sure if it’s based on anything specific, but it has a similar vibe to Boston’s Quincy Market and there’s a hint a little ways in that might give that away. For a sight gag, we get an Abercrombie and Rich store and there’s a cart that will put your image on a Rembrandt. Moe is clearly pictured on such a painting. Seems almost too tacky for this place, but if it is anything like Quincy Market then it’s also a tourist trap and tourists buy all kinds of stupid stuff.
Cameos of Christmases Past.
Homer is handing out wads of cash to everyone in the family to go buy Christmas presents with. And when they’re done, he also promises to get a glorious Christmas tree for the home. In fact, he declares it will be so large that its absence from the forest will cause mudslides and flooding. Everyone cheers this except Lisa. That’s some nice attention to detail. We cut to Bart and Lisa shopping together and Lisa has stumbled upon a toy store called The Prodigy Barn. Very quickly there’s a cameo of the rich happiest kid in the world and his mom from “Marge Be Not Proud,” though his hair is now blond instead of brown. Inside, Bart is playing a video game console clearly modeled after the original PlayStation as he’s blasting state capitols on a map of the United States. He soon realizes that this game is trying to teach him stuff and reacts angrily tossing the controller at the screen and declaring “That’ll teach you to teach me!”
This may be more of a gift for Marge.
We jump to Marge shopping at Victor’s Secret, an obvious pun on Victoria’s Secret, where she’s looking to buy a present for her beloved Homie. She’s picked out some very large underwear that’s sort of tiger striped, but she needs the clerk to help her figure out if it’s the right size for Homer. Make that two clerks as they both easily fit into the underwear and Marge is delighted that it’s the right size. They (Castellaneta) then offer to gift wrap it for her and in order to do so they have to fold it like a flag. They stuff it into a tiny box and hand it over to Marge warning her to stand back when she opens it.
This episode is from before everything had Wi-Fi capabilities. I bet that astrolabe was obsolete in less than five years.
Outside of a store called Things Unnecessary, Homer is rummaging through his bag of goods with a contented look on his face. We then find out he’s bought the family all key rings. Cheap, stupid, key rings. He drops his gifts though when he catches a window display for a talking astrolabe. He immediately goes inside where a clerk with a British accent shows it to him. He wants to make it a gift for himself and notes how it is so unnecessary. The clerk (Shearer) laughs and remarks that he has excellent taste then lists the features which include a pad of paper and pen for writing upside down. Homer is pretty much sold, but then he looks at the price tag: 500 bucks. If he buys this he won’t have anything left for a tree. The astrolabe (I think it’s Azaria, but it’s not listed in the credits on IMDB) then announces that today is the birthday of comedian Margaret Cho, which makes this December 5th. We can also see the current coordinates for the location of this device which online sleuths discovered long ago point to Boston, hence my Quincy Market theory. “That’s the birthday I’m always forgetting, I must have it!” And with that, Homer has bought an extremely unnecessary and extremely expensive gift for himself.
What is it with sitcoms and their Christmas suicide jokes? I feel like I should apologize for how many there have been this year.
We cut to the car and the family is on the road. Bart asks if they can get their big tree now and Homer laughs nervously and confirms that they can as he also inspects the cash he has left which totals 2 bucks. He still insists that they’ll get a tree from the finest lot in town as he proceeds to lead the family to a rather unsavory part of town. Lisa is the first one to remark that she doesn’t like this neighborhood, but Homer just tells her to lock her door and avoid eye contact while he turns on the radio. It’s a version of the song “Convoy,” which was part of the plot of “Radio Bart” way back when, only now it’s “Christmas Convoy.” It’s our soundtrack to the sights which includes Gil preparing to hang himself with Christmas lights, some hobos roasting pigeons over a flaming drum, and a bloody snowman with an axe in its head.
Well, sufficient is certainly one way to describe it.
Homer pulls into a pretty sad looking tree lot and buys the best tree 2 bucks will get you, which is pretty brown and lacking in fullness. Homer presents it to the family as a great tree, but Marge points out that it looks a little dry. Homer tries to insist it just needs a little love, but when he rubs it the tree bursts into flames. I’m betting Homer thinks the tree will magically transform when decorated into a glorious one, like it did for Charlie Brown. We cut to the house and the partially burned tree is up. Homer remarks, “Isn’t it sufficient?” and pats it again once again causing the tree to go up in flames. He’s ready with a fire extinguisher and quickly puts it out, but Bart is left to wonder why they couldn’t afford a good tree? Marge asks Homer if there’s something he’s not telling them and right on cue we hear the astrolabe announce that it’s 6:31 PM in Montreal.
A man sobs alone with his astrolabe at Christmas time. Is there a sadder sight?
Marge rightly asks where that voice came from, but Homer tries to play it off as Maggie finally talking. She finds the astrolabe all wrapped up with a tag on it that says “To: Me, From: Santa.” Marge exchanges the gift for Maggie, who Homer was holding, and confronts him on the fact that he wasted their money on an extravagant gift for himself. Homer tries to reason with her that there’s a trickle down theory at play here: If he’s happy then he’s less abusive to the rest of the family. I should try that the next time I buy an expensive action figure. Lisa is the one to inform him that this time he was just plain selfish as sad music plays and the family leaves Homer with his toy. The astrolabe then announces “I am not returnable,” causing Homer to start sobbing. It then announces it will begin testing its smoke alarm for the next three hours which causes Homer to sob louder and announce, “This is sadder than Tuesdays with Morrie.”
Marge has opted for pettiness and I for one support her.
Where do Homer and Marge often settle their disputes? In bed, of course, as we find Homer trying to defend his selfish act. He tries to suggest that she is in fact selfish too for choosing to get her haircut at Supercuts instead of Regular Cuts, the joke being Supercuts is a pretty cheap place to get a haircut. And whoever does Marge’s hair deserves a lot. Marge is obviously not taking the bait and just points out to Homer that Christmas is the time to think of others, but he only cares about himself. He denies this accusation pointing out that he cared what they thought when they found out. She informs him that he can sleep on the couch tonight, but Homer just wants her to yell at him now and get it over with. Marge refuses instead opting to parcel out her anger over the next few days and weeks so she can jab at him when he seems most content. Homer can only groan as he grabs his pillow and flees.
This doesn’t seem like much of a punishment for Homer.
Homer has decided to stay up late watching Christmas specials with his selfish purchase. He’s also opted to unwrap it early as well and even declares that he doesn’t need Marge since he has the astrolabe. It responds to him by telling him that Columbia’s chief export is coffee. On television is The Year Santa Got Lost starring Jimmy Stewart (Castellaneta) as the voice of the mailman. It looks like another claymation piece and the characters all resemble toys from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, except for the mailman who just looks like a mailman. I guess he’s a nod to Special Delivery from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. It’s a very boring story that Jimmy is telling and Homer taps out insisting that Jimmy Stewart as a puppet is just wrong. On the next channel is Mr. Mcgrew’s Christmas Carol, a parody of Mr. Magoo. It’s sort of like the California Prunes from earlier in that this parody is so similar to the thing it’s parodying that it’s almost indistinguishable. Upon stumbling on this, Homer declares he loves that blind, senile, old man! He’s then interrupted by his father knocking on a window in his bathrobe claiming he can’t find his way back to the nursing home. Homer shouts at him, “I heard you the first five times!” then throws his shoe at the window. A bunch of snow falls off the roof and poor Grandpa is buried.
Oh that Magoo McGrew, that’s not a woman, you silly, old man!
We get to see some of McGrew (Castellaneta) which looks a lot like the actual Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol, the very first animated Christmas special made for television. I’ve never covered it because it’s, well, terribly boring. We get to watch McGrew mistake a potbelly stove for a pregnant woman which somehow leads to him sticking his head into a roaring fire. Homer laughs for, once again, old McGrew has mistaken something for something. As the special moves along, Homer comes to realize that McGrew is just like him. Well, except for the rich part. When it gets to the climactic scene at the cemetary, Homer is on the floor in front of the TV begging the ghost to spare McGrew and to take Tiny Tim instead! The ghost gestures to the headstone which reads Ebenezer McGrew. Homer then sees it as reading” Homer Simpson – Unloved by All. He cries out “Unloved by Al? No!” then the ghost gestures again and he reads it correctly and yells even louder.
Marge wanted to see more of this Star Trek Christmas Carol and I think I’m with her.
The next morning, Homer is still in the midst of a fretful sleep moaning on the couch “I’ll be good.” Lisa wakes him up with some concern in her voice and Homer just asks her what day is it? She tells him it’s Saturday, December 6h and Homer jumps up saying “Good! There’s still four more days till Christmas!” No one bothers to correct him. We next find the family at breakfast where Homer is talking about the amazing cartoon he watched the night before. He describes it and Lisa has to point out that what he watched was A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and that it’s been around for 160 years. Bart points out that television has been mining that thing for decades and he is certainly not wrong. What’s sort of implausible here is that someone who watches as much TV as Homer would be unfamiliar with it. Bart gets to prove his point by turning on the TV (there sure has been a lot of the family watching TV so far in this one) to reveal an Urkel parody and a Star Trek one. Marge thinks the Star Trek one looks pretty good. Homer then announces that TV and nightmares have joined forces to convince him to be a less selfish man. He vows to become the least selfish man in town and Marge reminds him that he’s made this promise before. Homer points out that this time he’s sober…ish. That’s a bit alarming since it’s only breakfast.
It really is the perfect gift for someone always getting stuff in his eye.
Time to see Homer put his words to action. We find Flanders (Shearer) and his two boys, Rod (Pamela Hayden) and Todd (Cartwright), taking some boxes of old clothes and lima beans to an area frequented by the homeless, only Homer beat them to the punch. He gave them his old clothes and we get to see a whole bunch of unhoused men dressed like Homer. One comes over to remark that these new pants smell worse than his old ones, but Homer just says “You’re welcome.” To the Nuclear Power Plant where Homer owes Lenny a present. A real present. Homer presents Lenny with a photo cube that’s full of pictures of them (and Carl) which Lenny seems to appreciate. And there’s another surprise, Homer filed down all of the corners so it won’t hurt if it comes into contact with Lenny’s frequently injured eye. He demonstrates by jabbing Lenny in the eye and he smiles uncomfortably and announces it only stings a little.
Marge has been waiting fifteen seasons for this.
Back at the house, the family is finishing up dinner when Homer goes to eat the last porkchop, catches himself, and then walks the platter over to Marge. He offers her the last porkchop and Marge is so overcome with emotion she doesn’t know what to do. Homer has never offered her the last porkchop and she happily accepts. She is super emotional about it as she’s basically sobbing while she eats it remarking that his thoughtfulness tastes so good and that tears are the sweetest sauce. She’s not even bothering to use utensils, just her hands, and all the rest of the family can do is stare at her. Homer also adds that she’s starting to creep him out.
I feel like we’ve been here before.
We then cut to the family at church where Ned and Homer are in charge of the collection plates, though they’re really more like baskets on poles. Homer gets to Burns who just deposits a coin into the basket so Homer jabs at him. He drops another coin in, but Homer is still not satisfied so he keeps jabbing him in the face. Burns finally relents by emptying his entire wallet into the basket, including his credit cards and eventually the wallet itself. He then angrily suggests that Homer take his blood too and pricks his finger, but only dust comes out which Burns acknowledges by saying “Yes, I’m old.” Ned happily empties his basket into a sack held by the Reverend Lovejoy (Shearer) who is only too happy to inform Ned that this week he came in a distant second to Homer who has a rather impressive haul. Homer announces he’s not looking for glory, he’s just trying to buy that stairway to Heaven Jesus sang about. When Ned corrects him that it was actually Led Zeppelin who sang that song, he just scoffs and tells him to get back to his bong, hippy! He and the reverend then smugly walk off leaving Ned to stew in anger. His kids come over and Todd asks him if he’s jealous of Homer with some shock in his voice. Ned confesses that he is a little jealous. To try and cheer him up, Rod confesses he’s jealous of girls because they get to wear dresses and Ned angrily responds with “One problem at a time, boy.” This was the era where Ned Flanders became a more bigoted Christian. I know some people don’t like this turn for Ned, but when a show is on for as long as The Simpsons characters are going to change with the times.
Homer: a man of many talents. Or maybe just this one?
We return, yet again, to the Simpson master bedroom only now things are far less frosty. Marge is delighted in Homer’s transformation and he has come to view being unselfish as a natural high like hiking or paint thinner. And he’s not done! Homer then unveils to Marge his latest gift to the town: an ice skating rink in the Simpson backyard. How he built that without Marge’s knowledge is not specified. Similarly, how could he, the man who couldn’t afford a Christmas tree, manage to buy all of the materials needed for a rink? I should stop asking questions. It’s a hit though as numerous people are skating on it. Comic Book Guy demonstrates he’s pretty nimble for a man of his generous waist even though his leap results in a fall. A fall that splits his pants. With a declaration of “Activate cloaking device,” he ties his coat around his waist, only for that to rip too. Overcome with depression, he chooses to engage candy bar sadly.
Nelson is showing off and giving Flanders the business here. What a guy.
Ned is shown making his way to the Springfield Men’s Mission singing “Here comes sandwiches,” to the tune of “Here Comes Santa Claus.” He has a plate of cheese on bread for the homeless who dwell here, but because this is Season 15 Ned we have to get a little peak in his head as he refers to this as Boozy Bum Lane. In other words, this is the Ned who partakes in charity not because it’s right or just a nice thing to do, but because he just wants to get into Heaven. He’s shocked to find the place empty, so shocked he even spells out the H word (no, not that one). And he soon realizes that everyone is at Homer’s where they can rent skates for free (how did he come into possession of all these skates? Shut up, Joe, just go with it) no matter how gross and black their feet may be. Ned is frustrated and dismayed to hear Gil (Castellaneta) refer to Homer as the nicest guy in town. Nelson (Cartwright) is also there to deliver his customary “Ha! Ha!” and add a dash of “Your position has been usurped!” He also makes a couple more passes to rub it in even laughing “You’re sad at Christmas!” While he does he demonstrates some really fine tandem skating with Sherri or Terri. Sometimes a guy surprises you.
Great sight gag, I approve!
After an act break, we return to the TV! Man, this episode has a lot of old Simpsons tropes between the bedroom scenes and the plot-advancing television spots. It’s the nightly news with Kent Brockman (Shearer) delivering a breaking news report on the nicest guy in town: Homer Simpson. He has to deliver it in his Brockman way though by first shocking and horrifying the viewer with the announcement that Santa Claus is dead! This gets a scream out of Bart and Lisa who are, strangely, the only ones watching the news in the house. Bart didn’t seem to believe in Santa way back in the first episode, but I guess he’s had a change of heart? Or maybe it’s just a part of him he can’t let go? This was all a clever setup by Brockman to declare that Santa might as well be dead, because Homer Simpson has stolen his spotlight. They then show a photo of Homer strangling Bart in front of Marge and Lisa, but it’s been digitally altered to replace Bart with an image of a bouquet of flowers.
Ned, you’re starting to freak me out a little bit.
Next door, Ned is practically steaming watching this report. He starts tugging on his moustache and assuring himself “Pain is the cleanser,” in an attempt to banish his jealous thoughts. Mel Gibson would approve. A ring of the doorbell gets him off the couch and it’s a pregnant woman (Hayden) who needs help with her car. An overzealous Ned offers to jump the car, rotate the tires, and even fold the map she’s holding. This just turns her off and, calling Ned a creep, the woman says she was looking for Homer Simpson. That is apparently the last straw as Ned vows to show the whole town that he’s nicer than Homer. That he can be the nicest man who ever lived! He then looks at a picture of Jesus on the wall and tells him he said nicest man, not man-god, and to keep his pants on. I don’t think Jesus wore pants, Ned. Hah!
Skinner and his mother asking the important questions here.
To make good on his boast, Ned has decided to go door-to-door dressed as Santa Claus handing out presents to everyone in town. His first stop is the Skinner residence where Seymour (Shearer) is flabbergasted by Ned’s mission. Agnes (MacNeille) barks at him, “What’s your angle, pervert?” and Ned is actually honest by answering “Giving in this world, living in the next!” In other words, he just wants to get into Heaven. When Skinner asks how he can possibly afford this on a widower’s salary, Ned informs him he rented out his house to a fraternity. We cut back to Ned’s home and there are Greek letters (Sigma, Chi, Sigma? I’m not up on frat business) above the door and a keg goes flying through the front window. We hear an agitated Rod also shouting “Stay out of our medicine cabinet!”
That’s quite an imagination you’ve got there, Homer.
Homer takes note of Flanders’ good deeds and scoffs at them. We see he’s already been to the Simpson house and gifted Bart a Krusty-branded version of Operation. We hear the toy groan when Bart “tweezes my wang.” I feel like they’re usually more subtle than that? Homer, apparently taking Ned’s bait, wants to outdo him and thinks the best way is to buy everyone a car. Lisa, ever the voice of reason, is there to tell her father that he doesn’t need to outdo Mr. Flanders and to remind him to remember the theme of the season. Homer seems to think it’s despair and Lisa goes on to share her feelings on the matter of gifts as a Buddhist. She thinks people would be better off without presents, which gets Homer thinking. We see a car, a Christmas sweater, and then an image of Budai (smiling fat dude often mistaken for Buddha), and they all combine into an image of Budai (Azaria) driving. He offers Homer some sage advice, “[…]attachment to material goods kills the soul.” Then, for some reason, Budai gets pulled over by the cops in Homer’s imagination and vows to never return to jail. Homer is satisfied now and decides he needs to take away everyone’s presents! He then thanks, Buddha which brings back his brain cloud to show Budai getting arrested and threatening the cops that they’re in trouble if he ever gets out.
Look at Santa’s Little Helper! He’s cuter than Bradford II!
And now it’s time for an extended Grinch parody! Homer, with assistance from Santa’s Little Helper, is going to go house to house stealing all the presents under the tree in town on Christmas Eve. And as he does so, he’s going to sing about to the tune of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” which goes something like this: You’re a hero, Homer Jay. You’re as crafty as a skunk. They’ll thank you in the morning for stealing Flanders’ junk, Homer Jay! You’re a double-bacon genius burger, and just a little drunk!” As he does, we see clips of him walking like the Grinch, slithering like the Grinch, cutting down stockings like the drink, and chloroforming a toddler like the Grinch. Wait! That’s all Homer and not a good look for the big guy.
This sort of thing didn’t work out all that well for the Grinch, but maybe it will for Homer.
At dawn, Homer is seen driving the family station wagon into the center of town with a massive sack of stuff tied to the roof. He hops out of the car and douses the bag in gasoline before hopping onto the ground to put a hand to his ear. There he waits to listen to the thanks coming from the folks of Springfield. It’s a rather clever inverse of the Grinch. He wanted to hear sadness and anger over his stealing Christmas, but heard singing instead. Homer wants to hear the singing, but he just hears anger. First from Lenny, then Dolph (MacNeille), and then we start to jump around. Snake (Azaria) is shown shocked and saddened by the fact that he’s been robbed at Christmas and reflects, “Man, so this is how it feels.” In a season of Simpsons repeating Family Guy gags, I feel like I have to point out that Family Guy did a very similar joke where an inmate stabs himself to see how it feels. We then jump to a rather sad scene at Nelson’s house. He wonders if his dad came back in the night to steal their presents while his mom (MacNeille) just gruffly says “I wouldn’t put it past him.” She references the night he left and Nelson gets defensive insisting he just went to the store and when he gets back he’s going to wave those Pop Tarts right in her face! Poor, delusional, Nelson.
Definitely not a gracious mob.
Homer then pulls back a little disappointment in hearing anger, but he points out happily that a mob is approaching shaking its fists in anger! The show decides to let Cookie Kwan (MacNeille) and Drederick Tatum (Azaria) get some lines in before the mob begins pummeling a confused Homer with snowballs. Even the Simpson family joins in on the beating. And who comes to Homer’s aid? Why, it’s Ned Flanders, of course. He stands protectively between Homer and the mob to tell them what Homer did was wrong, but that maybe he was also wrong to give everyone those gifts? Ned gets bombarded with snowballs for suggesting such and knocked to the ground.
Well, I hope this hurts less than a football to the groin, Hans.
Now, it’s Homer’s turn to rise to Ned’s defense. He shouts out for everyone to wait and look to the sky for there is the Christmas they need. And in the sky high above Springfield is a brilliant, shining, star. Everyone is transfixed with Selma (Kavner) even declaring it a miracle. We cut abruptly to find out that it isn’t a star, but a flare fired by Hans Moleman (Castellaneta) who appears to have gone off the road and is stuck chest-deep in the snow. It’s his last flare too, but don’t worry, for rescue dogs have come to his aid! Oh, actually those are wolves and the McGrew-like Moleman is blind and confused and sure to die.
Homer’s big speech is a thing of beauty. Bravo to writer, Michael Price, who penned this one.
Back in the center of town, Ned is finishing up reading from the Bible, the same passage old Linus referenced in A Charlie Brown Christmas. Before he can finish though, Mayor Quimby (Castellaneta) buts in to say that Ned can’t pray on city property. Homer takes it from there, “Let’s just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic, but others don’t, and that’s cool. But we’re probably right. Amen.” The crowd returns with an “Amen” as well, and I just love that summation by Homer. It sums up that Christian smugness so prevalent in American society since that’s the majority opinion.
He’s such a good boy!
Homer then decides, with Ned’s help, to return all the gifts! As the two toss gifts to the mob, we get the expected animation of Santa’s Little Helper doing his Max impression as well. To sneak in an extra joke, we also get to see Professor Frink (Azaria) open his present and find it’s a brassiere (his choice of words), but in the spirit of Christmas, decides to make pretend that he has boobs. Bart is shown sharing his sentiments that this is a great Christmas and that not even Moe’s (Azaria) annual suicide attempt can bring him down. We then cut to Moe on top of City Hall threatening to jump and no one taking him seriously. Moe vows to jump and that they’ll all be sorry, but then laughs and confesses he’s not going to do it, but slips and falls anyway.
And as for Moe…who did NOT die!
No one was paying attention to old Moe for they were busy launching into a rendition of “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing,” because we need to tie this back to Peanuts one more time. Moe actually gets to deliver the “Peace on Earth and mercy mild,” line so we see he’s not dead, just really, really, hurt. As the crowd sings, we cut back to the wrapped astrolabe on the roof of Homer’s car. We hear it say that today is the birth of Jesus, and also the birthday for singer Barbara Mandrell. Snake then steals it for good measure, a nice way to bring the whole story back around to the beginning. We fade out on the crowd singing. Merry Christmas!
I like that they got the astrolabe into the end somehow.
As far as Simpsons Christmas episode go, that is one of the most joke-heavy ones they’ve done. There are tons of one-liners and just silly moments for the sake of comedy. Yeah, there are plenty of holes one can go poking through it, especially if past episodes are brought up. I’m always a little surprised when this turns into a “Homer Loves Flanders” redux in the second half thus leading into the Grinch parody. It’s quite a ride considering where we started. There’s really no B plot as the plot of the episode just moves from one stage to the next. I like that about it and it is reminiscent of “Grift of the Magi,” another Christmas episode that just moved from one situation to the next. The difference there is that one morphed into a Christmas episode where as this one was pretty much committed the whole way through.
The stop-motion segments are great and really help to give the episode a “special” sort of feel.
As I mentioned during the write-up, there are a ton of moments where TV is used to advance the plot. I’m pretty much okay with it though as there was some great comedy to be found there. The Christmas special parodies were all well done, even if some played it mostly straight. The extra surprise of stop-motion utilized was pretty damn cool too and shout out to Chiodo Brothers Productions, Inc. for producing those segments. Some of the jokes could be described as easy or layups, but I found they worked. And try to keep in perspective that some of this stuff was still pretty novel back in 2003. Now, a Grinch parody feels a bit more played-out, though I’m struggling to think of many Magoo parodies so The Simpsons was and is still ahead of the curve there.
“‘Tis the Fifteenth Season” may honestly be the funniest Christmas episode of The Simpsons. That doesn’t mean it’s the best, but there’s a solid amount of laughs to be found. Some don’t like the portrayal of “Jerk Ass” Homer like we see in the first act and I also know folks who don’t like what Flanders morphed into in the 2000s. Such opinions are valid, but for me, it works. This is funny television. It’s not trying to make much of a statement, just lampoon Christmas specials. There isn’t really a cynical message either so if you don’t care for those types of Christmas specials then I don’t think this one qualifies. It’s just a bunch of stuff that happened at Christmas.
Merry Christmas from me and the Simpsons.
And that’s it for the 2024 edition of The Christmas Spot! If it’s the last time I do this 25 specials in 25 days thing then I feel like I went out with a pretty solid selection of Christmas episodes. There was some good, even some great, and some stinkers, but those are fun to read and write about. It was a lot though as I finish writing this one on December 23rd, possibly the latest I’ve taken to finish one of these. That’s partly why I feel like I need to take a step back because it’s become harder and harder to find the time (and material) to keep this up. Whether you read one or 25 of these things this year, thank you, and I hope you had some fun. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, joyous Wednesday, and good luck in the new year!
That’s a wrap on Christmas 2024, but if you must have more here’s what we had to say on this day last Christmas and beyond:
We have reached another Christmas Day! It’s a great time to celebrate and enjoy the moment for tomorrow we mourn the passing of the season. It’s the great come-down every year. For this holiday, I am once again returning to my list of the best of the best when it comes to Christmas specials. This…
Welcome to Christmas Day 2022! We made it another year and another long year is ahead of us until we make it back, but right now, it’s time to celebrate! And in keeping with the theme of this year’s countdown, we are once again looking at another much beloved Christmas special on this day. Before…
We made it! Another year in the books, and another Christmas has come. Indulge in it. Bask in it, for it only comes once a year, and not to get too dramatic, but you never know how many you’re going to get. And we’re ending this year’s edition of The Christmas Spot with another throwback…
When Pixar released Toy Story in 1995 it proved to the world that audiences would accept films created entirely within a computer. Prior to that, 3D animation was thought of as a gimmick, something for commercials and video games, but not something that could carry an entire feature length film. It’s similar to the prejudices traditional animation faced in the early days and in hindsight it was a pretty silly thought. Sure, when the medium was young and crude it wasn’t ready, but it needed to mature. It needed refinement and now it’s practically all we have when it comes to animated movies.
After the success of Toy Story, other companies broke through. Everyone remembers the great ant war of 1998 when Pixar’s A Bug’s Life went toe-to-toe with Dreamworks’ Antz, but not too long after came Ice Age. From Blue Sky Studios, Ice Age would be a commercial hit for 20th Century Fox in the 2000s beginning with the 2002. A franchise was born that technically isn’t yet concluded, but after the release of the third film in 2009, but right before the fourth in 2012, came a Christmas special. It’s not all that dissimilar from what contemporary Shrek did. These movies are expensive and time-consuming so studios found that it was more efficient to create television specials basically alongside film production since the same assets could be utilized. It’s not like hand drawn animation where most of the frames are different, it’s more like virtual stop-motion. These character models and environments already exist on a computer and before they get too outdated they can be put to more use.
After three movies, this was the core group (left to right): Diego, Manny, Ellie, Eddie, Crash, Peaches, Sid.
Ice Age, if you didn’t already figure it out, takes place at the dawn of man and stars a bunch of animals who have human intelligence. There’s a mammoth, saber-toothed cat, sloth, squirrel, and so on and they have their own misadventures which are often comedic in nature. John Leguizamo stars as the dimwitted sloth, Sid. Despite being a sloth, Sid isn’t physically slow, but is mentally, making him a good-natured idiot. By contrast, we have Ray Romano’s Manny the woolly mammoth. He’s a bit irritable and finds himself constantly annoyed by Sid, but he has a big heart so he can’t just find it in himself to ditch the sloth. Denis Leary plays Diego, the saber-toothed cat who starts off as a foe, but is soon turned friend. In the second film, Manny finds a lover in Ellie (Queen Latifah) and in the third film they welcome their daughter, Peaches (Ciara Bavo). Lurking throughout the series is Scrat (Chris Wedge), a squirrel forever chasing an acorn, but never quite getting it. He doesn’t interact with the gang a whole lot and is more like a side story, but he seems to be the most popular character in the franchise with many in the audience just wanting to see him get that nut. It’s sort of like wanting the Trix rabbit to just get some damn cereal once for all.
When it comes to Ice Age I’m pretty sure I saw the first three. I don’t know if I saw anymore than that. I also remember very little about the plots and events that take place in the films. I was older, I didn’t have kids or siblings to bring to the movies, so these were things I caught much later and mostly because I married someone five years younger than me. She had experienced the movies and liked them and wanted to share them with me. They’re kind of just fine. They always looked pretty good and Blue Sky Studios was plenty capable of animating in this style, I just never found myself drawn to the characters. Sid and Scrat work well as comedic relief, but like most comedic relief types there is a limit to how much is too much, more so with Sid than Scrat. Manny is very similar to Ray Romano’s sitcom character so he’s not exactly lovable and Diego is lacking in charisma. There was just nothing in this movies that clicked for me, but I’m willing to set that aside and take in a Christmas special. Maybe these characters will work much better over a 24 minute duration as opposed to a 100 minute one. And since it’s one of those Christmas specials that takes place before the birth of that Christ guy, it’s already interesting just to see where the story goes (or rather, begins).
And who could forget that lovable scamp, Scrat.
This one begins without any big song, or title, or anything like that. It just jumps right into the latest from Scrat, the squirrel who is always on the hunt for acorns. Set to the tune of “The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy,” (a little too obvious a selection, if you ask me), we see Scrat sneaking about and swiping acorns. He first takes one from a setting which includes a few yellow and orange gourds making me think this is Thanksgiving. He then moves onto a snowman which has three acorns set in it like buttons. It’s at least a cute visual as Scrat jumps inside the snowman and his face replaces the snowman’s face before he hops off essentially bisecting the snowman in the process. Then this thieving sequence goes full Grinch as Scrat finds acorns…hung on a clothesline? Just go with it. After swiping those he’s left with a giant sleigh of sorts full of the damn things. He tries to give it a pull, but he’s no Max. The sleigh, which is basically just a slab of bark, falls apart and all of his acorns go rolling away. You got greedy, Scrat.
Manny’s family heirloom is a big, round, rock. Things were simpler back then.
The proper story then begins as we find Manny rolling into frame a giant, round, rock and the actual title hits. Manny calls for his wife Ellie as he wants to surprise Peaches with the Christmas Rock. He says he just pulled it out of storage so I guess they have a cave for living in and maybe another cave for storage? Peaches, on cue, comes sliding down a hillside and collides with her parents knocking them over. She apologizes, but she’s also in the middle of a snowball fight with the possums Eddie (Josh Peck) and Crash (Seann William Scott) and can’t exactly stop running. They miss with their attempts at a volley and Peaches fires back using her snout encasing the two in snow. Upon realizing why her dad was trying to get her attention, Peaches excitedly races over to the Christmas Rock. Before Manny can get out a word of warning though, she decides to kiss it and her mammoth lips adhere to the stone. Rocks don’t really work like that, but it is a cartoon.
Peaches love rock.
Manny frees his daughter from the stone and then explains how this thing is a family heirloom. Ellie fills us in that the object of the rock is to catch Santa’s eye when he goes by on his sleigh. It lets him know that a kid lives there who is deserving of presents. I guess we’re just jumping right into Christmas here. It’s Santa’s show, nothing more. Don’t question it! Manny is so excited that he starts singing “Oh Christmas Rock,” which sounds like the song you think it does. Clearly, this rock is the custom of the ice age and the whole tree thing has yet to be invented. Until now!
Sid has a radical idea: how about a Christmas tree?
Well, first we have to hear from Diego. He questions why Manny is singing to a rock, but he just explains “Duh! It’s Christmas!” He asks Diego if sabers have any Christmas traditions and he explains how his dad used to bring home a gazelle and he and his family would devour it. He demonstrates by fashioning a gazelle out of snow, but once he starts digging in he realizes that he’s terrifying Peaches so he changes the story’s ending to playing with the gazelle and having a wonderful Christmas time. Now, Sid gets to wander over and take a look at this so called Christmas Rock. He wants to touch it, but Manny won’t let him and says he’ll break it. The others think this is preposterous, but Diego seems to agree with the mammoth. Sid then determines that a rock is a poor way to get someone’s attention. He suggests a tree instead which Manny scoffs at the suggestion of a Christmas Tree. Sid then settles on a nearby evergreen and gives it a sprucing up with earthworms, dead fish, a hedgehog for an ornament, and spider webs for garland.
It was so apparent that Sid would find a way to break the rock that there was no way to make it funny.
When Sid’s tree is finished even Diego has to admit it is pretty eye-catching. Sid thinks it could use something else, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. As he sizes up his tree, he’s backing up until he bumps into a tree and his ass gets stuck. When he frees himself from the tree, he finds he has a piece of ice in the shape of a star stuck to his butt. Feeling that’s the thing that will really scream “Sid” when added to the tree, the sloth climbs up it and jams the top of the tree through the center of the star in brutish fashion. Now, he’s satisfied, but the tree bends over all the way to the ground due to his weight. When Sid lets go, the tree snaps back into place sending the “star” whirling through the air like a shuriken. It nearly takes off Manny’s hair in the process and shatters against the Christmas Rock which elicits a gasp from all of the onlookers. Sid sort of laughs off the gasps as he goes to lean on the rock and asks them all what they did they expect? Then the rock cracks and crumbles as was foretold.
Now you’ve gone and made the mammoth mad, you dumb sloth.
All Manny can do is inspect the remains of his family heirloom. Sid has gone into full apology mode, but the angry, shaking, mammoth doesn’t want to hear it. For as angry as he looks, his voice doesn’t really match. Sure, he’s not happy, but I’m not sensing any rage here. He just gestures at Sid and tells him he shouldn’t be worried about how mad he’s made him, but how mad this will make Santa. It’s obvious that Manny is searching for words here as he devises a punishment for Sid: The Naughty List! This is apparently something Manny has just made up, but Sid wails with suffering at the thought of being left out of Christmas. As Manny leaves him to his misery, Ellie questions him about this solution he came up with. Manny dismisses any concern reasoning that Sid will get over it since only kids believe in this Santa stuff. Peaches overhears him though and immediately challenges him on his belief in Santa. Manny tries to take it back, but Peaches fires back that most hurtful of accusations: “The only one who deserves to be on The Naughty List is you, dad!” That sings even more than “I learned it by watching you!”
I think he may even be faster than Frosty, though he isn’t on his belly so it doesn’t count.
Peaches takes off leaving her parents alone. Manny tries to brush it off and says this Santa stuff won’t be hurtful to an adult like Sid. We smash cut to Sid to still wailing, still in tremendous emotional pain about being placed on The Naughty List. Crash and Eddie are there to console him as they tell him to stop crying. When Sid questions why they point out that his tears are freezing to the ground. He looks at his feet to find them encased in ice, then returns to his whimpering which is pretty much unintelligible. His frozen feet start to slide though and soon Sid is off sliding down the hillside leaving Eddie and Crash to look at each other with an uncharacteristic amount of worry in their eyes. At least, I think it’s uncharacteristic. They don’t seem to be the sort that usually cares much about feelings and such. Plus they were basically just shown delighting in being naughty.
Just a squirrel having a romantic dance with his nut.
That’s our act break, and when we return we find Scrat up to his usual antics again. There’s an acorn stuck frozen in a pond. Set to “Dance of Flowers” (I guess I should give them credit for not going with the Ice Skater’s Waltz), Scrat first has some difficulty in reaching the acorn due to his tendency to slip and fall. Eventually he gets a tongue on it and is able to wrap himself around the acorn and pluck it from the ice. So begins an ice skating routine between a squirrel and his nut. He treats the acorn like a dance partner as he skates about carving the image of an acorn in the ice as he goes along. At some point he slides through a hollow log on the surface of the ice and emerges with a big flourish of a finish. At the end of which he realizes he lost his acorn and what he’s holding instead is a giant spider which isn’t too happy to see him. We cut to black as the spider attacks. That certainly killed some time.
It would seem only the kid knows which way is north.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming. Sid is still aghast about being put on The Naughty List. When he asks Diego how he got onto Santa’s bad side he quips “Because he doesn’t have a loser’s list.” As Diego walks off, Sid thanks him for trying to cheer him up completely oblivious to the insult. Peaches then comes over with a solution. She suggests they take their concerns to the source, the big man himself, Santa! To do so, they need to head to the pole (“The north one?”) and the two possums want to join them since they don’t want to be on that list either. As for Peaches, she wants to help out her Uncle Sid, but also prove to her dad that Santa Claus is real. Sid is convinced, but doesn’t think Peaches should go since the North Pole is a desolate, frozen, wasteland. We pull out for dramatic effect to reveal that everything is a frozen, desolate, place though one of the possums (I have no idea who is who) needs to remark that this place isn’t exactly Miami. A pointless joke since the visual did the trick already. Sid relents, then he and the possums quickly demonstrate that they have no idea which way the North Pole is as they all start walking in different directions. It’s the kid, Peaches, who has to point them north. They’re all gonna die.
Quite literally the blind leading the blind.
We next catch up with our clan marching to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” as sung by Sid. Great. They all join in with their own version of the song: Nine fleas a biting, eight pounds of earwax, seven frosty fingers, six frosty fingers (one snapped off), five…and they don’t get it out. It sounded like they may go with frosty fingers again, but they find themselves in white out conditions. One of the possums thinks they walked off the edge of the Earth, but Sid assures them it’s just your every day white-out and that they’ll be fine if they stick together, so of course they’re all separated. They all start walking around and calling out each other’s names. There’s a decent gag where one of the possums is looking for the other one, Eddie, and then remembers that he in fact is Eddie so even they can’t tell each other apart. They’re all reunited when the possums get squished between the butts of the two larger mammals.
It’s Prancer the rescue reindeer!
Sid, with a good idea for once, instructs them all to hold onto each other as he leads them through the snow since he has a self-assessed good sense of direction. Which means he’s going to march them off a cliff. This thing writes itself. Before Sid does do just that, we get a fake out where he stops to sneeze, but then marches them off the cliff to their certain doom. Only they get deus ex machina’d by a flying reindeer! It’s time to meet Prancer (T.J. Miller), a very modest, flying, reindeer. He celebrates himself and demonstrates his powers, but once he reveals his name the two possums laugh. I don’t get it. He’s annoyed. Sid thanks him for his help and wishes him a merry Christmas as he starts to wander off. Prancer seems shocked that Sid doesn’t want his help, but he assures the reindeer that they can take it from here. Then he walks off the cliff again. This time it’s Peaches who is there to save him ensnaring his neck with his snout as she declares that the reindeer is coming with them. Good idea.
Well, I bet Santa will definitely do a double-take when he sees that monstrosity.
It’s time to check in on the mammoth parents. Manny has reassembled his rock using mud and it looks pretty terrible. When he asks Diego what he thinks he asks him if he wants the Christmas answer or the real answer? It matters little for the thing falls apart soon after. Ellie then comes along in a panic because she can’t find Peaches and Sid and the possums are missing too. Diego informs the parents the last time he saw them they were trying to figure out how to get Sid off Santa’s Naughty List. Manny gets defensive at just hearing that before anyone can even look at him. He asks Diego if he can pick up Sid’s scent. The cat informs him that he can, but it makes his eyes burn. The mammoths insist that he does anyway and sure enough, he’s repulsed. He finds it and starts to follow it, but the effect of Sid’s musk is making him visibly woozy.
It’s so funny that Sid knows what a barf bag is even though it won’t be invented for thousands of years. Hardy har har.
Sid and the gang have resumed their journey along with Prancer. Sid inquires with the reindeer how long it will take them to get to the North Pole and this is apparently the first time the subject has been raised. Prancer is surprised to hear where this is leading and tells the group you can’t walk there, you have to fly. And it just so happens that they’re in the presence of a flying reindeer willing to give them a lift. We cut to them in the air with Sid on his back, the possums wrapped around his legs, and Peaches seated in his antlers. He basically just makes a bunch of standard airline references as he struggles with the weight of the mammoth on his antlers. Peaches asks him if she’s too heavy, but he insists she’s not while whispering under his breath that she very much is. Sid isn’t doing too well either as he asks Prancer if he comes equipped with barf bags. Pretty wild how they know all of this stuff before it’s been invented.
What Christmas miracle number is this? Two? The rock breaking was kind of a miracle too.
Before Sid can blow chunks all over Prancer, we cut back to Manny and Ellie marching through a blizzard in search of their daughter. The fact that they’re now flying is going to make it pretty hard to catch up with them, let alone track via Diego’s nose. And that’s also going to be impossible if Diego is covered in snow, as Manny soon discovers when looking for the cat. He pokes at what appears to be Diego’s head, but when the snow falls away we see it’s actually his butt. Diego’s head pops out the other end and he asks his friend if he’s glad he didn’t kiss him? That’s an odd thing to say. Diego then tries to resume tracking the group, but his sense of direction has been thrown off by the blizzard and he’s apparently lost the scent. He then spies some tracks, but they’re his own and we pull back to see the trio have been walking in circles. Manny is hopeless, but Ellie tells him that he needs to have faith that Peaches will be all right. I think she’s going to stick up for Sid here, even though he’s not the brightest sloth he can look after a kid, but no. She tells Manny to just believe in the magic of Christmas. Manny finds this suggestion absurd, as he should, but she begs him to go along with it. He half-heartedly says that he believes in the magic of Christmas. Then the blizzard stops, the skies open, and the northern lights are visible. Manny insists it was just coincidence while Ellie insists she doesn’t care how it happened, but she’ll take it. This is stupid.
Things are starting to look a bit more Christmassy.
Now, to resume the journey north with the other crew. Prancer lands in an area that doesn’t look like all of the rest. It’s still covered in snow, but there’s also bushes with large, purple, berries and birch trees that have red stripes on them instead of black. Peaches quickly confirms that the berries are sugar plums while the possums declare the bark to be peppermint bark. Sid is excited to find some yellow snow which he goes to consume, but Prancer stops him with a deadpan “No. Just no.” We don’t actually see the yellow snow, but just Sid’s reaction to it. I should have expected a yellow snow joke at some point, but after three movies I had just assumed it had been done before. Possibly more than once.
Look at that cute little guy! I know he’s threatening the mains with a stabbing, but he’s still cute!
Their foraging is soon interrupted by another sloth. He’s much smaller than Sid and blue with a big spear. He (Judah Friedlander) introduces himself as part of the “Santarouge,” that’s a portmanteau of Santa and entourage, if you’re trying to figure out how to pronounce it. He’s also pretty hostile. His purpose, and that of the others in his group, is to keep away those who would disturb Santa from his important work. Peaches doesn’t seem to mind the hostility and is delighted to have the existence of Santa confirmed and practically begs the little guy to let them meet with him. He refuses and points his spear in their direction. Sid, being the bigger mammal, tries to challenge him with the overused line of “You and what army?” The little blue guy snaps his fingers in a sassy way and countless more mini sloths appear each one armed with a spear and shield. He then gives the command to, “Raise heck.” We can joke about eating piss snow and kissing asses, but we draw the line at saying the word hell.
I guess we needed an avalanche.
As the mini sloths move in and surround the crew, Prancer decides he’s seen enough. Announcing that they’re no match for the power of flight, he takes off and…gets his head stuck in the ice. Okay, so somehow the group was backed into a corner of sorts where the environment curled over their heads. It’s pretty preposterous, but it’s one way to account for Prancer basically being able to just fly away. Seeing their new friend stuck, Peaches tells the others to grab a leg and pull. They do, which looks really painful for Prancer, but also causes a bunch of cracks to open in the snow and ice around them. We see a little ball of snow go bouncing away. It rolls and bounces off the side of a cliff and comes to smack Manny in the shoulder. How did they get all the way up there so fast without flying? Shut up! All you need to know is that little snowball was the start of an avalanche that consumes all of our main characters and the other sloths. All dead. The end.
Santa fashion hasn’t changed much since the ice age.
I’m not that lucky. We’re actually somehow only halfway through this snoozefest of a Christmas special. Which means it’s time to finally meet Santa Claus (Billy Gardell)! He has a cozy little cottage located somewhere nearby. He’s outside smacking some wood into the shape of toys while singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” He basically looks like any old Santa. Not really much going on to make him look different. He tosses whatever he made into a giant sack which is seated on a crude looking sleigh. It’s one he needs to pull on his own so I guess there’s the crudeness I was looking for. You might think that him singing such a song would be a conflict with our plot since it makes mention of a list and checking it to see who is naughty and who is nice. He sings the line about the list, but then hums the rest. Oh, you clever writers! He then looks up from his work to see the incoming avalanche and accepts his certain demise with an utterance of “Nutmeg.”
Oh, look. They survived. Great…
After Santa gets taken out, we’re left to survey the carnage. It’s basically just a bunch of snow with trees sticking out. Oh, and bodies. Lots and lots of bodies. Everyone seems to be in one piece though, and once Manny and the others realize they’ve finally caught up to Sid and company, everyone starts looking for Peaches. Don’t worry though, she’s fine, but while mother Ellie is relieved, father Manny is pissed. He announces that there’s a grounding a coming, but when Peaches apologizes we realize he wasn’t talking to her, but Sid. That’s when Santa makes his entrance. Sid recognizes him as Santa immediately while Manny cautions him not to mistake every fat guy he sees for Santa. Santa takes exception to the fat crack and insists it’s the suit. Sid remarks he’s just as old and decrepit as he expected, which is a dumb thing to say of a healthy looking, well-fed, guy who just happens to have a white beard.
Behold! The Naughty List!
Santa is rather alarmed at what’s happened and notes that everything was destroyed. Sid is just concerned about the whole Naughty List thing, but when Manny interjects to tell him there’s no such thing Santa corrects him by saying, “There is now, Manfred!” He then unfurls a long scroll with a bunch of names on it and Manny’s gets added to it. It’s at this point that Manny realizes that this guy is the real deal. He tries to act astonished and even a tad giddy, but it’s just not in Ray Romano’s range. Diego is confused about seeing all of their names on this newly christened Naughty List and Sid just gestures to their surroundings as reason why. Santa is pretty upset since it’s Christmas Eve and he can’t possibly remake all of the toys and such for the good girls and boys and everyone looks sad.
Manny claims there’s 800 of these little buggers. Anyone want to count?
All except Manny. Now with the magic of Christmas coursing through his veins, the mammoth is unable to concede defeat. He insists there’s still time, but Peaches is there to point out that there’s only eight of them. Manny then draws her attention to the 800 or so other sloths. They’re surprised to see him refer to them and Manny remarks how it’s pretty bad that they never thought to give Santa a hand. Peaches is still skeptical, but Manny tells her to believe in him, just like he believed in her. Or something. That’s all the convincing she needs though as she sidles up to a little sloth with a drum around his neck. She tells him to “Hit it!” and he smacks her on the ass. Dude, she’s a minor! How inappropriate. She angrily instructs him to play the drum and he does as he’s told.
I guess up until now this one had gone rather light on the singing.
This is where Sid takes over because this is his story, I guess. He’s going to provide emotional support by leading everyone in “Deck the Halls.” Fantastic. The lyrics in use are not the traditional ones and there’s a bunch of puns. The possums point out that they don’t know what a hall is, or a season, but Sid insists they just go with it. As he leads the song, others make toys and point out how odd they’re acting. There’s a moment where Sid is picking up objects and declaring what is and isn’t a toy. When he comes to a boomerang-shaped rock he declared it’s not a toy, then throws it, and it boomerangs on him and strikes him in the skull. Little, toy, effigies of Manny, Sid, and Diego are made while one of the blue sloths discards a ball of twin since no one will want that. Except for the cat, Diego, who freakin’ loves the thing.
Are we done now? Please?
Manny is shown holding mistletoe in his trunk and he asks his wife what to do with it. She places it on a structure they have seemingly constructed out of the peppermint birch trees and you think they’re going to kiss, but no, it’s Sid who jumps up and kisses Manny remarking that “There’s just something about mistletoe.” Santa decides it’s his time to join in as we can see it’s getting dark. More visuals of animals putting together toys as the song nears its climax with Sid crediting all of the sloths with making this Christmas magic happen. Diego questions him, and he corrects himself to say it was all because of every one instead. Big finish, pose for an image, please make it stop.
This new sleigh is an improvement, I’ll them that. All of that purple fur trim leads me to believe there are some naked sloths lurking about.
Santa saunters over to show his appreciation for all that everyone has done and to marvel at his new sleigh. It looks pretty good, I guess, and it’s loaded with a massive sack of toys. Sid tells Santa that the mini sloths can help him build toys every year. The head mini sloth is taken aback by this suggestion, but thinks it over for a second and declares that they’re going to need hats. Cute hats. Sid also informs Santa that he probably has enough toys for all the kids in the world. Santa is impressed, but he can’t possibly deliver to the entire world in a single night.
Check out Prancer: the big failure!
That’s when Prancer steps in. He declares he’s going to give Santa the best Christmas present ever: himself. Sid gleefully hooks Prancer up to the sleigh and gives the order to take off, only he can’t. Oh, he tries, but it would seem this load is far too large for one reindeer. So much for that. Prancer is left to ponder failure, his first experience of it, but Manny isn’t ready to settle. He starts headbutting the back of the sleigh in an effort to get it moving. He offers words of encouragement, but it’s not those words Prancer hears. Instead, Manny sarcastically adds “Unless you know ten other reindeer,” and it’s that which catches the reindeer’s ear. He acknowledges he can’t do this by himself and takes off leaving the others stunned. As they watch him go, Santa lets out a grunt of resignation. Sid tries to cheer him up, but it isn’t working. He asks if he’s still on The Naughty List and Santa confirms that he is. Damn. Tough grader.
Oh, hooray! More reindeer!
We cut to Sid with the reigns in his mouth as he tries to pull the sleigh. We pull back to see the others are all hooked up as well, but they’re not moving very far. Sid pauses to inform us that they’ve moved about 30 feet and guesses that they should be able to make it around the world in about 8,000 years. I’m not doing the math to fact check the sloth. Santa lets out a bah humbug, but it’s a short lived feeling of resignation for up in the sky appears Prancer! You knew he was coming back. We all knew, and he brought his family! Do I need to list them off? No, I don’t think I do. For some reason the possums find the name Blitzen funny, funnier than Prancer. He doesn’t have a sense of humor though and flies the pair high into the sky where they’re forced to concede it’s actually a very fine name.
It’s not a moon shot, but a norther lights shot is still pretty good.
The reindeer are all hooked up to the sleigh and all that’s left is to see if they can get this thing off the ground. Well, first Manny and Prancer need to have a brief conversation so we can learn that the moral of this story is that you can’t do everything on your own. That’s it? They’re kind of jamming that in at the end, but okay. With all of the reindeer in place, getting Santa off the ground is no problem. As he takes to the sky, he calls back down to “Manfred” and chucks his list at him. Manny unfurls it to find the Naughty has changed to Nice. We also learn there are 989,000 or so mini sloths, if this list can be trusted. Sid is delighted to see his name on the Nice List as Santa deposits some presents.
Merry Christmas, Scrat. Enjoy the concussion.
Up in the sleigh, we find that little squirrel, Scrat, one more time. He finds his gift from Santa, a massive acorn. When he goes to eat it, the top pops off to reveal a smaller acorn inside. It’s basically an acorn nesting doll and eventually Scrat gets to the end of it to find a rather ordinary sized acorn. Hey, it’s better than nothing. When he goes to eat it he somehow loses his grip on it. It flies off the back of the sleigh and Scrat lunges for it, but he’s caught on a rope of some kind. He swings from the back of the sleigh and under it all the way to the front where he gets kicked in the head by a reindeer. He goes back and forth, this night of misery unlikely to end for him anytime soon.
And that’s it. Through a sloth, some mammoths, and other creatures, we learn the surprising origins of Santa and how he came to have reindeer and elves. I guess. They’re not really elves though, they’re sloths. Or maybe Santa had sloths until he found the elves and then told the sloths to take a hike. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the magic of Christmas lead a father to his child through a blizzard and an avalanche and helped save Christmas. This one tries to make the joke that “Isn’t it funny how corny Christmas specials are?” while also trying to be sincere at the same time. It fails at both. None of the attempts at obvious humor work and the examples of Christmas magic do not resonate at all. I can’t decide if this one is too cynical or not cynical enough? It doesn’t go far enough to be subversive and instead just treads water in this awkward middle ground.
I will say, I expected to hate Sid way more than I did. He was mostly tolerable.
It doesn’t help that I don’t care about any of these characters. The performances are so flat and wooden and the only ones that feel like they’re really trying are John Leguizamo and Ciara Bravo. Denis Leary sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else while Romano is just going through the motions. I just don’t think he’s a very good voice actor. His delivery works in live action where he can use his facial expressions to his advantage, but not here since his face is that of a hairy elephant. There’s not much the character can do except frown a bit. The Ellie character is such a nothing character, only there to offer support or worry about her kid. I felt bad for Queen Latifah since she had nothing to work with.
This is the sort of special that tries to make its viewer laugh and laugh often so there’s at least a few jokes that work here and there, but most lack impact. The story is slow and thank God we had the Scrat stuff to pad it out. That’s honestly the best part. That and the head mini sloth, but he has nothing to do after his initial introduction. Prancer is okay, but there’s obviously no drama since we know how he’s going to get that sleigh off the ground. And again, there’s nothing done to find humor here. They just let it play out so it lands like a wet fart.
Most people who watch this are probably going to have very little to take away. It’s just a thing that exists and there’s a pretty good reason why it’s not a special that has to air on network TV every year. Oh, it had a run, but probably because of the brand. For someone like me who has seen a lot of Christmas specials, I’m a harsher critic. I’m almost offended when a Christmas special so thoroughly wastes my time like this one. The animation is at least good, I’ll give it that, but I’m out on positive things to say. If you would like to waste your time with the characters of Ice Age, then you can find this streaming on Disney+. Hopefully, your Christmas Eve is a lot more fun and exciting than sitting in front of a TV and watching this thing.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
It feels like, at this point in time, we have hit peek 90s nostalgia. I can recall when it felt like 70s nostalgia hit pretty hard and then the 80s arrived not too far after. It’s inevitable whenever a generation that spent much of their adolescence in a given decade hits adulthood. And by adulthood…
When it comes to doing these write-ups, I naturally trend towards older Christmas specials. The name of the blog is The Nostalgia Spot, after all, so it would only make sense for me to favor stuff that’s at least a decade old, if not more. The fact of the matter is, there’s really not enough…
2021 marked an important anniversary in animation: Shrek turned 20. The animated film from DreamWorks is credited as really helping to launch the company as a viable competitor to Disney’s Pixar. Prior to Shrek, DreamWorks had found success at the box office with Antz and Chicken Run, but Shrek was the first to really explode…
Last year, I made it a point to go through the vast majority of the Nicktoons Christmas specials I was at least somewhat familiar with. My cut-off was basically 1996 which coincided with the premiere of Hey Arnold! That was when I started to fall off of Nicktoons and Nickelodeon in general. I was entering my teen years and other things took priority. Plus, my preferred Nicktoons were more of the gross-out, slapstick, sort of toons like The Ren & Stimpy Show and Rocko’s Modern Life which Hey Arnold! did not resemble at all. However, upon reflection, I would have to say that my real Nicktoons cut-off is CatDog.
CatDog debuted in early 1998 right after that year’s installment of the Kid’s Choice Awards. I had basically long since aged out of that show, but I was at least still watching Nickelodeon enough to be aware of CatDog‘s existence. I’m going to blame that on a crush I had on Summer Sanders, host of the gameshow Figure It Out which I would check out after school. CatDog was something that was heavily promoted, as most new Nicktoons were, and I can recall at least having some interest. By the time it was airing in a more normal timeslot though I had basically checked out. I know I did watch at least an episode or two, but my determination was “This isn’t for me.” And it probably wasn’t nor was it supposed to be.
All that being said, CatDog could possibly entertain me as an adult. I don’t know. It’s basically another take on The Odd Couple. Here we have a paring of naturally opposite animals in Cat (Jim Cummings) and Dog (Tom Kenny) with the wrinkle thrown in that they’re physically conjoined at the hips. Or spine? They don’t really have rear hips. They’re the super pet Bart Simpson created in Fly vs Fly with a cat on one end and a dog on the other. How they poop is anyone’s guess. They both eat so I guess there’s a two-way street running through them which sounds unpleasant. There’s certainly room for humor though, Arnold this is not, and did you see those names in parenthesis? Talk about a cartoon superstar pairing of Jim Cummings and Tom Kenny. I honestly can’t recall ever hearing Cummings on a Nickelodeon show, he was more the domain of Disney and Warner Bros. He’s also been around forever so I’m sure I heard his name on Nickelodeon before (and it looks like I probably did as he did do some work for Aaahh!!! Real Monsters), but it’s interesting to see. Sort of like finding Mel Blanc on a list of Disney credits – it’s not something that happened very often.
There’s two of them so they need two tree, right? That’s why my family of four has four trees in the house. Wait…
The Nicktoons were hardly the equal of the Disney Afternoon when it came to opening numbers, but CatDog begins with one of my least favorite songs out of them all. It’s this country number that just sounds so generic. We’re not off to a great start. When that intro is through, we get a rather simple title card before we’re taken to the home of the titular character, CatDog. Duality is the name of the game here and it informs a lot of the style surrounding CatDog. The house is basically a giant fire hydrant on one side and a dead fish on the other. Inside, it looks like a pretty normal house so I guess that fish isn’t an actual decaying corpse. The two (one?) characters are decorating their Christmas trees. It’s basically two trees in one with one side covered with fish and the other steaks. The two have just finished decorating and now it is time to place their gifts for each other under this double tree. Dog goes first and places a wrapped gift while Cat closes his eyes. We can hear him hoping it’s a sports car (I wouldn’t get my hopes up). When it comes time for Cat to do the same, he has nothing. He fishes around in his “pockets,” which is mysterious fur pockets that appear when the need arises, and comes up with a single jellybean. That would seem to be these two in a nutshell, Dog is the caring and considerate one who is held back only by his lack of intellect. Cat is selfish, like most cats are perceived to be. It’s the inverse of the Ren and Stimpy pairing.
It’s the only way to travel.
Despite Cat’s gift for Dog being an unwrapped piece of candy, he doesn’t take notice and instead is eager to head off on another Christmas tradition. The two put on scarves and Dog adds a stocking cap as they fly out the window. To travel on the snow, Dog basically becomes a toboggan with Cat grasping hold of his hands. As they travel, Dog begins to sing, but his song only has one line, “The best part of Christmas is being together.” After his one line, the scene fades out and then comes back in on a mall shaped like a pig’s head. I guess that works as an analogy.
Via the process of elimination when looking through the credits it would appear that this guy is called Mr. Sunshine. I appreciate the irony.
The camera moves inside the mall where we get a closeup on a Santa figure that appears to be doing The Macarena (remember that?). It’s followed by quick cuts of other cheesy merch and fists full of cash as they fly off the shelves. There’s a snowman that appears to be capable of dropping its pants (it’s wearing jeans for the sole purpose of removing them, resembling one of those novelty Seymour Butts dolls people would have affixed to their rear windshield), a boxing Santa, Mean Bob action figure, dinosaurs in festive attire, and so on. When the cuts are finished the camera lingers on a star atop a massive tree. The star is emblazoned with a dollar sign because this is a mall, after all. The camera pans down this massive tree and a very unenthusiastic individual dressed as an elf moves into frame to say, “Imagine the thrill of meeting Father Christmas,” in a very even, flat, tone of voice. I think it’s Billy West using a similar voice to the one he used for the ghost in the Ren & Stimpy episode “Haunted House.”
Cheer up, Santa, I have a feeling that Dog is your kind of guy. Err, dog.
We then find Santa (Brian Doyle-Murray) seated at the base of that tree with some monkey kid on his lap. He asks the lad what he wants for Christmas and he responds that he’d like a Kung-Fu Kenny with real blood and hands you can slice off into death rays! Santa is not impressed despite the kid standing in his lap and jumping about. When the kid leaves Santa remarks to himself, “So much for the Christmas spirit.” Enter CatDog, who comes sliding up the stairs out front and then rolls through the mall like a runaway tire. The duo soar into the air only to land directly in Santa’s lap. Despite the pair obviously cutting the line, Santa asks Dog what he’d like for Christmas and assumes it will be something expensive with a death ray. Dog sort of chuckles at the suggestion and then, once he confirms that Cat isn’t trying to eavesdrop, whispers in Santa’s ear that all he wants is for Cat to like his present from him. Santa is taken aback, pleasantly at that, at Dog’s selfless desire. The feeling is short-lived as Cat and Dog switch places with Cat, rather loudly hoping that Dog will hear (he’s too busy playing with an ornament), informing the big guy that he’d like a sports car.
Such a lovely little girl.
Santa has no reaction to Cat’s selfish want and Cat doesn’t seem to be at all interested in getting his approval anyway. The two depart, but a call to “Make way,” is soon heard. It’s coming from the mall owner, Rancid (West), who is a big, ugly, green, rabbit that looks like some sort of cross-over between an Arthur character and something from Life in Hell. He wants everyone to move out of the way so that his niece, Rancine (Maria Bamford) can tell Santa what she wants. She’s about as ugly as him, just smaller and in a dress, and she does not look happy. Santa goes through the whole routine with a look on his face that suggests he knows that this kid isn’t going to ask for something selfless. She at first can’t even think of anything since her rich uncle buys her whatever she wants, but then she lays eyes on CatDog.
CatDog is not for sale!
Now, this gets pretty bizarre and also pretty horrific because Rancine informs Santa that she wants to own CatDog. This is a world inhabited entirely by animal people, from what I can see. Santa is a human, and that flat-speaking elf is humanoid, but green, while everyone else appears to be an animal person. Like CatDog. This is like a kid in the real world sitting on Santa and pointing out at a pair of conjoined twins and saying “I want to own them!” Obviously, totally illegal and morally reprehensible. Any parent who raised a kid who thinks they can own another person or persons obviously failed. Naturally, Rancid tries to “buy” CatDog from itself. Themselves? Whatever. They are not for sale and tell Rancid that in no uncertain terms. Santa seemed a bit worried that they’d go for it, but upon hearing that he basically breathes a sigh of relief. What a weird way to have one’s Christmas spirit reenforced. Rancine screams in protest, but surprisingly that’s as far as she goes.
This is unsettling to me for some reason.
In another part of the mall, Cat is admiring himself in a mirror when they’re approached by a gang of dogs. These are the Greaser Dogs and, since they’re dogs, they seem to enjoy picking on Cat. Cliff (Kenny), the leader, is singing Dog’s Christmas song as they come upon the pair. Immediately, they desire to kick the crap out of Cat so the pair have to split. As they run, Cat drops the mirror he had been looking at and all three members of the gang step on it, cracking it. That’s 21 years of bad luck right there. CatDog ducks into a store display Christmas tree to avoid the dogs and lurking inside is their neighbor, Winslow (Carlos Alazraqui), an ugly, blue, mouse. Cat doesn’t ask him why he’s in a tree and instead asks him if he knows what Dog got him for Christmas. When he tells him he hopes it’s a sports car, Winslow gives him a reality check on that one. Cat tries to reassure himself that it would take a Christmas miracle to get such a gift, but Christmas miracles happen all the time! Winslow informs him, “Not to you, they don’t.”
There aren’t enough scenes set inside Christmas trees. Someone needs to make a special that takes place inside a tree the whole time.
Winslow ducks inside the tree which has its own infrastructure, it would seem. It’s not as nice as the tree Chip and Dale take shelter in for Pluto’s Christmas Tree, but it still looks like a place I want to visit. When he emerges from the tree it’s beside Dog. He tells Winslow that he hopes Cat likes his present – a popsicle stick house boat. Winslow tells him there’s no way he’s going to like that, but Dog thinks Cat likes all of his gifts from him. Despite Cat always throwing them away (he thinks he does this to entertain the kids who live at the dump). Winslow breaks the news to him that the only way Cat will like the gift he got him is if it’s a sports car, and he’ll never, ever, be able to get him one. He walks away chuckling to himself how he loves messing with these two on Christmas while Cat and Dog are both left feeling pretty down about Christmas.
Oh Cat, you are wrong to focus only on the material stuff at Christmas. Haven’t you seen any Christmas specials?
We next find the pair exiting a store called Soap Dish. Dog is enjoying a bar of soap which he thinks is delicious. I have no idea if this is a one episode thing or if he always eats soap. As he chews and swallows it, bubbles come out of his mouth. When Cat speaks, bubbles also come out of his mouth thus proving my theory that whatever Dog eats Cat “shits” out his mouth and vice versa. What a horrible existence. Cat is pretty down thanks to Winslow and doesn’t see how their Christmas can possibly turn out well. Dog falls back on what he perceives to be their great traditions like putting up their double star. We just cut to the pair doing so in the past which results in Cat getting flung into a wall which he dubs the “Double Scar.” Dog then tries to cheer him up by talking about how they have their friends and family to spend the holidays with. Cat reminds him that they are their own family and all that happens on Christmas is Winslow, Eddie the Squirrel, and the Greaser dogs all show up uninvited, but Dog considers this a major compliment. Cat, on the other hand, wants stuff (specifically citing a golden toaster oven which seems extravagant) and directs Dog to a display of dog bones. Cat appeals to Dog’s stomach and asks him if he’d like a nice, new, bone. He responds in the affirmative, but in a very plain manner like, “Sure, I wouldn’t mind a new bone.” Cat, on the other hand, really must have that sports car. He has an idea, and he indulges himself by asking Dog the old “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Dog is thinking about drinking out of a toilet, but Cat is most certainly not. He has an idea to get stuff for Christmas, but all he does is laugh. It’s a chilling, evil, sort of laugh and Dog seems rightly unnerved. Until he starts laughing along.
Santa isn’t going to like this.
We return to Santa and Rancine is still on his lap screaming. CatDog comes waltzing up and Rancid remarks, “Look, it’s those freaks you wanted.” Cat has come to make Rancid an offer. He is willing to go along with this proposal and be his niece’s new plaything if it comes with full access to all of Rancid’s stuff. Rancid is in agreement, but what about Dog? He doesn’t like that this deal makes him feel sort of cheap. Cat reassures him by saying this deal gets him access to a sports car and Dog all the T-bones he wants! Rancid then asks him if he likes T-Bones in a suggestive manner indicating that Cat is right. Dog cheers up and says “T-Bone was my nickname at fat camp! Where do I sign?” Santa had been staring at the group with bated breath while Francine rubbed her hands together like an evil sort of person. Rancid tells Dog there’s no signature needed, they’ll shake on it. And they do.
CatDog is one gift among many. That hardly seems special.
Outside a massive, stone, mansion rests a rather cruel and inelegant looking Santa robot. It’s a decoration for Rancid’s home and everything has a very cold presence. The limo pulls up carrying the crew, but only Rancid and Rancine emerge. Rancid has a large, wrapped, box in his arms and once he enters the mansion he chucks it towards a giant tree. As it hits the floor we hear CatDog groaning in pain from inside. The gift comes to rest at the base of the tree as Dog remarks there’s only a few more hours until Christmas and access to all of Rancid’s stuff! Cat is just as giddy and remarks that this is an idea with absolutely no downside. We then cut back to the mall to find Santa seated on the stairs outside looking downright miserable. Mrs. Claus (Bamford) is there beside him trying to ease his mind, but he can’t get over what he saw. CatDog sold itself to Rancid as a Christmas present! That would seemingly make CatDog a prostitute in the eyes of Santa and he just can’t get over that. Meanwhile, that even speaking elf is just flabbergasted that this Santa is the real deal. He asks if that means the Easter Bunny is real too and Santa remarks “He better be, he owes me sixty bucks!”
That’s one cold looking Christmas.
Dog was Santa’s only hope for Christmas spirit in this world, but now that belief has been shattered. Santa feels that he has no other choice: he has to cancel Christmas. The world is no longer deserving, and as Santa flies off in his sleigh with four reindeer (he’s a fake!), Christmas basically just disappears. Lights, decorations, trees, all vanish before our eyes. The giant tree in Rancid’s mansion? Stripped of even its fake pine needles leaving behind a cold, monstrous, spiked, metal contraption. All of the gifts beneath it have vanished, all except the one containing CatDog. It’s been stripped of its festive color, but at least they weren’t wiped from existence too like all of the other stuff.
That must have been a comfortable experience. At least they’re used to being close together.
With Christmas gone, we cut to a news broadcast. The anchor (West) informs the viewing audience that Christmas has been cancelled and that their sources out of the North Pole have indicated it’s all the fault of CatDog! Winslow is shown watching the broadcast from CatDog’s couch and he’s pissed. The Greaser Gang then barges in looking to murder CatDog, but Winslow has no idea where they are. We then return to Rancid’s mansion where Dog is ancy to be opened. And with good reason, that box is way too small to comfortably house a CatDog. Rancine approaches and opens the box and acts surprised it’s a CatDog! The pair flop out and seem oblivious to how empty the place is. Rancine informs them she got screwed this Christmas and warns them that they better be good! Dog happily tells her they’re the best and don’t even require batteries. I’d be wary of this Rancine girl if I were you, CatDog.
Cat got what he wanted. I guess the story’s over.
Or perhaps not? We next find Dog and Rancine having a tea party. Only, instead of tea Dog is being served bones. Rancine looks like her usual, miserable, self so I wonder if she’s capable of experiencing any joy? Cat is eager to take Rancid’s sports car for a drive though so Dog must go too. As he pulls Dog away, Rancine replaces him with a large, green, stuffed, dinosaur with a message of “I Heart You” on its chest which makes me think this is a Barney reference. CatDog goes racing around the interior of the mansion with Cat declaring he’s king of the world, a Titanic reference because it’s 1999. Cat is feeling pretty good about his decision to sell themself for Christmas and Dog appears to be in agreement as he consumes his bone. They then come to a stop beneath the giant, metal, Christmas tree. Dog leaps up to embrace it, but is turned off to find it smells of sweaty metal.
Rancine is not the sort of person one should expect caring or understanding from.
Now, Dog starts to miss Christmas and their usual traditions. Even Cat is in agreement as he reflects upon their double star and the way it caught the light. They both want to return to their old Christmas, so they race back to Rancine in the sports car to inform her of their decision which she will undoubtedly take well. When they initially pull up indicating they’ve made a terrible mistake she’s in agreement for they left giant skid marks in the hall. Cat then informs her they made a different mistake and that they need to go home. Dog tries to bid her farewell, but Rancine clamps onto his snout and informs him that the last person who tried to welch on a bet with her had his shins turned into a coffee table. She then gestures to a table where there’s some guy laying on his stomach with his ankles going through a table surface so the transformation was less gruesome than it sounds. The message is clear though, Rancine isn’t letting the pair leave, and to make sure they won’t she drags them to her room and locks them in a bird cage suspended from the ceiling. As Dog yells to her that she’s a very naughty child, she returns to the room to agree with him and add that she’s proud of it. She’s definitely going to be one of those girls that wears the sweatpants that says “Juicy” across her ass cheeks when she gets to college.
She deserves this.
In the streets of town a mob has formed all demanding an end to CatDog. We see the Greasers, Eddie, and presumably other recognizable faces amongst this crowd with murderous intent. Eddie (Dwight Schultz) is particularly aggrieved since he was supposed to get a Jet Ski this year. Back to CatDog, and Dog is laying at the bottom of the cage with foam coming out his mouth while Cat calls for help. Rancine enters annoyed that all of her toys break on Christmas. She ascends a ladder to the cage and we can see that Dog has achieved this state via another bar of soap. Cat pulls the old switcheroo leaving Rancine dangling from the cage as they make their escape. Dog, always the nicer of the two, tells Cat they can’t just leave her like that. He agrees, and sets the ladder back up that she used to reach the cage. CatDog climbs up and shoves Rancine into the cage and shuts the door. There, problem solved!
Rancid has such a massive ego that his doors and windows are shaped like him. I’m trying to imagine my house if every opening was shaped like me.
CatDog now must escape the mansion, but to do so they need to avoid Rancid. As they creep through the halls they spy the rabbit coming their way. He has his head buried in some paper though and could hardly be bothered as he walks by. They pretend to be one of his many statues anyway and in the process reveal that they can change color like a chameleon. Was this done for comedic effect or is this something they do often? Regardless, with Rancid avoided the pair make their way back to the main living room with the big, metal, tree. There’s a window high up on the wall and Cat takes over to climb the tree to the top. The window is still a ways away, but there’s a chandelier above them and Cat still has his scarf. He twirls it over his head like a lasso and successfully ropes the chandelier. The duo swing for the window…and slam into the wall. He missed, and CatDog falls to the floor, but worry not! The front door is unlocked, so that was a lot easier than expected. Too bad about the pain and misery that was all for nothing.
Free at last!
CatDog goes belly-whopping out the door just like Frosty himself! They slide over the hillsides all the way to their home. They seem completely oblivious to the lack of Christmas decorations in town and on their house, but Cat is just relieved they still have five minutes of Christmas left. Then they enter their home to find no tree. That’s the least of their worries for soon the Greaser Gang shows up with Eddie the Squirrel and Winslow. They’re still pretty pissed about the whole cancelled Christmas thing and are looking to exact a bit of sweet revenge by wailing on CatDog. Well, Cat more than Dog it would seem as old habits die hard. This is also when CatDog finds out that they’re the reason Christmas is cancelled, but before the gang can wail on CatDog, Rancine shows up. She declares CatDog her property (disgusting slaver!) so she gets to wail on them first, followed by Rancid. Cat then breaks down declaring it all his fault, but they just reply with “We know,” and prepare for a beating!
It’s like the reason for the season. Or something.
It’s Dog who cries out for everyone to be quiet. It’s time for a speech. Dog declares they can still have a Christmas even without all of that usual stuff. He then grabs a bunch of junk from around the house, fills a punch bowl with water from the sink (gross), and assembles it all into a double junk tree! He’s pretty proud of himself, but it’s Cliff who points out that it’s just a pile of jump and disgusting dish water. Eddie gets in the best line calling Dog a Noel Nincompoop, but his gesture worked on Cat. Or maybe Cat just doesn’t want to get beat up? Dog points out they’re together just like every Christmas and even Shriek (Bamford) the poodle is forced to admit this is what they do every Christmas. Cat even goes so far as to call them all a family. Sort of. Winslow still thinks they’re stupid, but when Dog takes his picture of a steak and bites it into the shape of a double star and places it on the “tree,” everyone is overcome with awe.
I assumed this would happen at some point.
The room is filled with a wondrous glow. The new double star works just like the old one and finally everyone seems to agree that Christmas is possible even without all the “stuff.” Dog says they didn’t cancel Christmas and Cat adds “Because no one can.” He indicates that Christmas “is in here,” though he can’t quite decide just where in here as he moves his hand around his chest until he finds just the right spot. Now we get the required “Merry Christmas, Dog,” from Cat followed by a “Merry Christmas, Cat,” from Dog as the two embrace. Winslow, overcome with emotion, says “That’s the most beautiful thing I ever saw. With the possible exception of some stuff I saw when I was in the navy.” Is that a gay sailor joke in a children’s cartoon?!
So, wait, we’re just going to let the slavers in on this group hug?
There’s no time to contemplate that one as Winslow says “Merry Christmas, CatDog,” and goes in for a hug too. Then the rest of the gang does the same and we have a big group hug. Winslow adds that now it’s just like that stuff he saw when he was in the navy, except everyone’s clothes are on. Okay, he didn’t really say that, but imagine if he did. This warm, happy, moment is broken up by the sound of a crash outside, followed by laughter. The kind of laughter that can only come from one person: Santa Claus!
You can’t pay Brian Doyle-Murray to play Santa and not have him show up again at the end.
Santa comes in and a more natural light does with him. We were in kind of a cool blue and black environment, but now it’s positively bright. Cat immediately goes to Santa to apologize for what he did. Santa counters that he should apologize to CatDog, even though what they did was among the most vile acts imaginable. He’s really laying it on thick. He definitely equates this whole thing with prostitution. Imagine the naughty stuff Santa must see and he found that to be the most vile? Maybe this world is just way cleaner than I could imagine? Dog accepts Santa’s apology and Christmas is back on, baby! All of the stuff returns and Cat and Dog are each left holding presents from each other. Or Santa. I don’t know anymore.
Now, everybody sing!
Santa departs leaving CatDog to open their presents. Cat gets the popsicle stick house boat he always wanted while Dog gets a delicious bar of soap. All that’s left now is to hang the stockings and sing. It’s an original song, and during it the Greasers get to rough up Cat a bit and Winslow hits him in the face with a snowball. He hands Cat a snowball of his own to basically rub on his head, so I guess this is as nice as he’s going to get. Everyone is then surprised when the quietest, and tallest, Greaser, Lube (Alazraqui) breaks into a lovely solo. Everyone gathers round, well, everyone except CatDog. They’re singing about nothing being better than Christmas with CatDog, but CatDog isn’t around.
Looks like the house is backing to looking nice.
And that’s because they’re with Santa! We cut to an external shot of the house all covered in snow and lights. There’s a magnificent full moon in the sky and Santa’s silhouette goes passing by. There’s four reindeer, and something peculiar leading the team. It’s CatDog, or more like Dog, who is basically a reindeer while Cat is holding on for dear life. He urges Dog to get them down in one piece, but Dog sees a garbage truck. This is bad for Cat, and Santa, as Dog lunges for it taking them with him as we fade to black on this holiday special.
I feel like we’ve had a low number of Santa Moon Shots this year.
That was certainly an unusual Christmas episode. CatDog needs to learn a pretty conventional lesson about how it’s not the material things that make Christmas so special. Well, Cat more than Dog needs to learn that, but it comes via the duo prostituting themselves to a rich, spoiled, kid. Santa reminds us several times that CatDog sold themselves for Christmas and that it’s a truly vile act. It’s so bad it shatters his belief in Christmas which is pretty wild. Maybe you don’t like the prostitution analogy, but the only other one would be CatDog selling themselves into slavery which is pretty abhorrent. I’d argue even more so as that’s really selling one’s dignity. Sex work is just work, selling one’s actual being is something only a desperate person should even consider, not someone who just wants a sports car and bones.
At least it’s an original tale and I only felt semi-lost by the inclusion of recurring characters whom I had no knowledge of. I don’t really need to know why a pack of dogs delights in beating up a cat, especially one who probably lies and cheats his ways out of problems like Cat. Winslow seems like just an asshole and no frame of reference needed there while Eddie is…well, he’s just there. I’m surprised they didn’t use him to make a Cousin Eddie reference. The look of this one passes the Christmas test as there was plenty of that present, until it wasn’t as part of the plot. Rancid and Rancine are as ugly as their names imply which I assume is intentional. Same for Winslow and the gang. There were plenty of not ugly character designs so it’s clear that the ugliness is a choice in places. This isn’t a Klasky-Csupo joint where just everything and everyone is unpleasant to look at.
They certainly have the Christmas spirit so you could do worse than watch CatDog.
Is this episode CatDog good? I don’t know. I felt pretty indifferent about CatDog when I was younger and the show was just starting and I suppose I still feel that way. I get the whole point of the show and the whole opposites attract kind of thing makes sense conceptually, but I mostly felt nothing. Maybe that would come from watching more episodes? Cat seems like he’s mostly intended to be unlikable while Dog is cheerful and sweet. He’s almost too cheerful and sweet here as he’s oblivious to how shitty a friend Cat is to him. I don’t worry about them getting beat up, I’m not begging them to not sell themselves for Christmas, and I’m not really invested in their Christmas experience. I kind of wish the episode went all-in on its messaging and just ended it on the group hug. They didn’t need stuff, so why bring the stuff back? Maybe just cut to Santa flying overhead and looking on with an approving smile? The final visual of CatDog pulling the sleigh was fun, but the special didn’t need it either.
I guess this one gets the absolute lightest of recommends from me. It’s a Christmas episode and there’s some value to be found here. I didn’t hate it, I wasn’t bored, but I don’t anticipate watching it again unless one of my kids suddenly acquires an affinity for CatDog. It’s pretty low on the list of Nicktoons Christmas episodes for me, but I suspect people younger than me who may have been the right age for CatDog when it aired feel different about it. And that’s fine, different strokes and all that. If you would like to check this one out then the easiest way is via Paramount+. There you will find this episode along with every other episode of CatDog waiting for you, should you wish to view them.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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