Author Archives: Joe

Dec. 23 – Bugs Bunny’s 24-Carrot Holiday Special

Original air date December 3, 2020.

Let’s try this one more time for 2023 – can we find a good Looney Tunes Christmas special? And more importantly, a good Bugs Bunny one? We’ve looked at two already that were merely okay. Nothing terrible, but hardly holiday classics. For our final go at this, I’m feeling a little more optimistic and that’s because we’re jumping to the world of Looney Tunes Cartoons. Looney Tunes Cartoons resulted from a meeting between Uncle Grandpa creator Pete Browngardt and Warner Bros. for an unrelated project. That meeting with Warner Bros. apparently didn’t go all that well as Browngardt wasn’t interested in whatever project Warner was selling. Audrey Diehl, the executive leading the meeting, apparently wanted to try to salvage something from it and asked Browngardt if there was a project that might interest him and I bet you can guess what his response was. Looney Tunes Cartoons was born out of that meeting in 2017 and Browngardt was put in charge of basically bringing back the classic characters in a format befitting them. He would team-up with artist Jim Soper and many other talented writers, artists and voice actors to create the show which finally premiered in 2020 on HBO Max.

The timing of the premiere kind of sucked some of the wind from the sails of Looney Tunes Cartoons. Not because the show was poorly received, but because it came during the great lockdown that was brought on by COVID-19. Locking the cartoons behind the HBO paywall also didn’t help matters and despite myself being pretty plugged into the world of animation, I didn’t see much of these new shorts until the next year. At that point, Cartoon Network had begun airing the first season as a means of promoting Space Jam: A New Legacy. If you want kids to go see a new movie based on the Looney Tunes characters it pays to make them accessible to today’s kids. When those episodes did land, I watched them with my kids and we all pretty much enjoyed them. Eric Bauza is probably the best Bugs Bunny since Mel Blanc and the characters both look and feel like Looney Tunes. They’re certainly different from the golden age and no one would look at one of these and mistake it for a classic short, but they can exist alongside it. My kids have also been raised on this stuff so that helped, and there was a period of time in my house where the new cartoons were preferred to the originals (that has since passed).

Part of that first season, but exclusive to HBO Max, is the show’s lone Christmas special titled Bugs Bunny’s 24-Carrot Holiday Special. It uses the star power of Bugs in its title, but it’s an ensemble piece like most television episodes of Looney Tunes with Bugs leading a segment alongside Porky, Daffy, Elmer, and others. A holiday special formatted for a half hour based on Looney Tunes is a bit concerning going in. These characters and shorts work best in quick hits, but as I said before, I’m cautiously optimistic going in as the shorts I’ve seen have been pretty good, but I’ve been burned before so I’m still going to keep my guard up.

A cozy holiday setting to set the mood.

The cartoon begins with a shot of the show’s logo covered in snow. The orchestra sounds like it’s warming up, and we smash to the classic WB shield, also covered with snow, and the familiar sting of “The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down.” An image of Bugs Bunny’s visage is shown like this is the start of a Bugs Bunny short, but it fades to be replaced by the title of the special over a warmly lit house like a classic holiday special of old. And orchestral version of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” has replaced the usual Looney Tunes fair and as the logo fades the camera starts to zoom in until we find ourselves inside this cozy home. It appears to be an actual set, though with modern CG I suppose it’s possible I’m being fooled. I’m thinking it’s probably a combination as there’s a lit fireplace that looks a little off so maybe that’s being CG generated while the set is real. There’s a picture of Bob Clampett on the far wall and opposite him is Mel Blanc. There’s a very full and well decorated Christmas tree and a narrator chimes in to set the mood. He muses on the tradition of decorating the Christmas tree as the camera finds a wooden ornament of Daffy and Porky dressed as elves. The ornament is titled “Santa’s Little Helpers” and it’s a hint at the short to come.

Looks like Santa is having some labor issues up north. We’re going to need some scabs to save this Christmas!

That short begins without a title card, but according to Wikipedia it’s called Elf Help. We’re at the North Pole, and an announcer informs us that not all is well up here. The elves are on strike, and Santa can’t make Christmas happen without them as we see him attempt to wrap a gift and it bursts into flames. This is a news broadcast we’re watching and we’re transported to the home of Porky Pig (Bob Bergen) and Daffy Duck (Bauza) as they react to this news. Daffy is horrified at the thought that Christmas might be cancelled this year since he won’t be receiving any presents! His design is a noodlelike bowling pin and he’s more in-line with the Clampett Daffy personality wise, though his selfishness is a bit more from the Chuck Jones mold. Daffy is worried that he and Porky won’t be getting their usual delivery of Christmas coal, as he opens a closet to reveal a whole bunch of the stuff. He loves it though as it keeps their house warm and Porky seems to be of the same mind. Daffy then proposes that he and Porky head up there and help Santa turn things around. Porky wants nothing to do with crossing a picket line, but Daffy has no shame. And it also doesn’t take much convincing on his part to get Porky to agree to go and save Christmas.

And apparently these are just the scabs for the job.

We return to the North Pole and find a family of penguins just hanging around. The little penguin is basically the same character model as the penguin from the Bugs Bunny short Frigid Hare (he’s apparently named Playboy Penguin). An elevator comes shooting up out of the ice and dispatches the penguin family – just what are penguins doing at the North Pole anyway? Daffy and Porky emerge to “Jingle Bells” from the elevator. Daffy is full of enthusiasm while Porky is freezing. He probably should have put something on since he’s just wearing his blazer and bowtie. Daffy soon spies the striking elves and decides to show them a strike of his own. Gathering up his friend into a bowl, he hurls Porky towards the elves who get knocked out of the way with relative ease. Porky smashes through a window and gets lodged in something gray and squishy.

Santa is apparently a traditional, inept, corporate overlord.

It’s Santa! Daffy comes running in to find the big man miserable and his face covered in cookie crumbs. He’s in his long underwear and seems to be pretty deflated over this whole strike thing. When Daffy asks him where his usual jolly-ness went, Santa (Fred Tatasciore) confirms it died when his elves went on strike. Daffy tells him not to worry as he and Porky are here to help him get ready for Christmas. Santa somewhat sarcastically asks if they’re going to make all of the presents for Christmas and Daffy confirms that’s the intent. Santa then surprisingly jumps up and seems okay with this! He decides they’re the Christmas miracle he was waiting for, and he belly bumps them across the room to smash into the wall and slide down through some elf outfits hanging on said wall.

Looks like they’ve got this covered.

We cut to the two dressed in their elf attire almost giddily building toys. It’s set to a very cheery rendition of “Deck the Halls” and as the boys work on their toys Santa comes into view. He starts laughing almost hysterically until they ask what’s so funny? Santa then gestures to the toys they’re building, which include a wooden duck and other traditional trinkets, and tells them kids don’t want that crap anymore. What they want is high-tech video games! He slams a console down in front of the two that’s like a hodgepodge of an X-Box and a Super Nintendo which makes some futuristic type noises. He then ushers them along into the room where those are to be assembled: it’s a dark, windowless, cold room with posters on the wall of “Santa is Always Watching” that portray the jolly fat man more like the dreaded overlord the elves are protesting against. He encourages Porky and Daffy to have fun with it as he urges them in, but adds in a threatening voice, “Or else!”

Maybe I spoke a little too soon?

With the door slammed shut behind them, Porky and Daffy are left to figure out how to construct a game console. Porky is basically freaking out as he views this task as an impossible one. Because he is a good-natured ham, he’s actually worried about letting Santa down when I’m starting to think he isn’t deserving of any sympathy. He walks into a bookcase and a bunch of books fall out on top of him. Daffy tells him to cheer up as he picks up just the book they need: A Total Nincompoop’s Guide to Building a Video Game System. Daffy hands the book to Porky and instructs him to read while he makes adding the obviously fateful line of “This video game stuff can’t be that complex!” Porky starts reading off instructions while Daffy sets himself up at a conveyor belt. The camera focuses on a classic cat clock, only this one is dressed like Santa with a candy cane tail. I kind of love it and want one. Also of note, the calendar in the background suggests that the present date is December 3, which just so happens to be the day this went live on HBO Max. We hear Porky read out the instruction number as he stammers along finally reaching step one-thousand two-hundred seventy-six, which is basically final assembly. When he looks up from the book, he just sees Daffy with a pile of unrelated junk that he’s covering in glue.

Boy, that sure looks painful.

Porky is ready to freak out as this monstrosity does not resemble a game system in the slightest. It even features tentacles and what appears to be a giraffe’s knee. Daffy tells him to calm down and yanks on a pull chain which triggers a hydraulic press that smashes the two into each other with the…game console…in between them. The resulting collision reduces Porky and Daffy to a paper like consistency as they float to the floor, but it surprisingly turns Daffy’s stuff into something! Daffy declares they’ve done it, and at first we get a shot of an actual game console. Porky then adds it looks more like a killer robot to him and as the camera zooms out it’s hard to find fault with the pig’s assessment. The game console is on top of what is otherwise an intimidating machine. It’s boxy, purple, and on tank treads with spikes sticking out of it. It is indeed a killer robot as it reaches out an arm to grab Daffy while uttering “Destroy! Destroy!” Porky winds up getting smacked by the robot (wielding Daffy like a club) onto a conveyor belt and when he realizes he’s not moving as he runs he lets out this hilarious scream that sounds so convincing. It’s clear the pig thinks he’s about to bite the big one. The robot lifts Daffy and aims the duck’s rear at Porky. Cocking the duck like a shotgun, it then makes Daffy start firing eggs at Porky from Daffy’s…well, you can probably figure that part out for yourself.

He apparently had no built-in defense for a duck wielding a pig like a bowling ball. So long, killer robot!

The robot tosses the spent duck after assaulting Porky and closes in for the would-be kill. Porky begs the robot to spare them, which triggers an idea in Daffy’s brain. It’s either a callback to how he dealt with the elves, or just a repetitive gag, but Daffy declares “Why settle for a spare when you can have a strike?” and scoops up Porky once again and rolls him like a bowling ball at the robot. The robot was readying a bunch of missiles to kill the pair, but once struck by the Porky bowling ball they get deflected into the air above the robot. As they crest and begin their descent, the robot meekly pulls out a cocktail umbrella to shield itself which obviously results in a rather large explosion.

The sticking point for them was apparently their dental plan…dental plan…dental plan…

The rumble wakes up a napping Santa who heads to the factory to investigate. When he gets there, we find the robot has been destroyed, but the actual game console that was a part of its head has been left intact! Daffy presents it to Santa who seems rather impressed. He suggests they test it out and when he presses the power button on the device it, well, explodes. The explosion does nothing to Daffy and Porky, but Santa looks rather worse for ware. His face was nearly blown off and he’s covered in soot and as he fumes over the explosion he just keeps repeating “Why I oughta…” as he inches in ever closer to Daffy and Porky. Only after the third one, he returns to his usual demeanor and finishes his thought with “I oughta hire those elves back!” It’s very reminiscent of the gag where Ren of The Ren & Stimpy Show threatens Stimpy and Sven (“I gotta take a whiz!”), which was almost certainly referencing something from Looney Tunes that I’m not recalling off the top of my head.

There are some terrific screams in this cartoon. My hat is off to Eric Bauza and Bob Bergen.

Santa heads outside, and rather coyly, restarts the bargaining process with his striking elves. He ends it by offering a 20% raise if they return to work, but the apparent union leader just gestures for him to come up higher. Santa them grumbles and adds, “Plus dental,” and the elves all cry out with glee revealing mouths full of horrendous teeth. With the elves back to work, it would seem Christmas is saved which prompts Daffy to mosey on over to Santa and suggest that he and Porky deserve a present for kind of, sort of, saving Christmas. Santa agrees and hands the duck a gift. Daffy removes the top to find a game console and Porky seems delighted with the gift. The console then lifts up to reveal the killer robot the pair had crafted and both characters utter some terrific screams in horror. They run right through the wall and the robot chases after them and the cartoon ends with the pair racing over the snow-covered hills of the North Pole with the killer robot hot on their heels.

Taz just wants to spread holiday cheer in the old-fashioned way, but the world is apparently against him.

Our next segment stars Taz (Fred Tatasciore), everyone’s favorite ever hungry creature from down under. It’s a bit where Taz is out caroling, but something keeps interrupting him or otherwise causes him to flub what he’s doing. We start with an interior shot of a front door and the sound of someone knocking. The door opens and we see Taz with his book of carols in hand and a Santa hat on his head. He informs us that he’s going to sing a carol, but when he opens his mouth to sing we hear the cry of a cat. A surprised look crosses his face and he reaches down his throat to pull out a soaking wet orange kitty. Taz chuckles and remarks, “Cat got tongue,” and the owner of this dwelling slams the door in his face. The bit continues at different homes, but they all start the same way. At the next house, he tries to sing “Angels Heard on High” but the sound of police sirens keeps interrupting him until he eventually gets so mad that he destroys the police car. At the next house, he never even gets to his song as he’s enraptured with ringing the doorbell. The following house sees him disappointed in the handheld bell he brought with him for “Jingle Bells,” so he blows a raspberry at it and takes off only to return with a giant church bell which the occupant of the home apparently wants nothing to do with. The next door opens to reveal a trio of kids singing “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” and they sound lovely. Then Taz sees them, and viewing them as threats, chases them off. He returns with a scarf hanging out of his mouth that he sucks up like a string of spaghetti. I’m guessing he ate those kids. The door slams shut and the occupant locks all of the locks on it. Taz then peers through the mail slot and says “Taz know you’re still in there,” so the guy nails a 2×4 over the slot. The next house finds Taz looking grumpy, but he whips out his book and goes into a warm-up routine. When he finally starts singing, it’s the closing part of “Silent Night” and he has the voice of a woman who is an accomplished singer. The position of the camera then finally changes to an angled shot and we see the occupant of the house is Granny (Candi Milo). She just says “What?” and asks him to speak up as she pulls out one of those old-fashioned horns for hearing. Poor Taz looks utterly defeated.

Sylvester will experience much pain in this one, as he should.

We return to the Christmas tree and the narrator which started this whole thing. There’s an egg-shaped Taz ornament on the tree and we pan to one featuring Sylvester and Tweety in a shopping cart. The image dissolves onto a department store being ravaged by shoppers. Granny and Tweety (Bauza) come strolling up to take part in the big holiday sale and the pair have no trouble simply walking through the mob clogging the entrance. Emerging from a garbage can nearby is Sylvester (Jeff Bergman)who shares what he wants for Christmas – a delicious, yellow, bird. He has a much harder time getting through the mob as he first tries to push his way in, only for his arm to get sucked into it. He tries to run, but eventually his whole body gets sucked into the mob and flung through the store where he crashes into the hardware section and a circular saw splits him in two for a “Half Off” gag.

Where’s my Sylvester nutcracker, Warner?!

Granny and Tweety are off shopping and Tweety pulls out a sock from a bin of clearance, left, socks. He wears it like a stocking hat and prompts Granny to check him out, who ignores him. Sylvester emerges from the bin of socks, but before he can grab Tweety a clerk puts a 90% off sign on the bin and a mob of people descend upon it. They clear out the entire bin leaving behind just Sylvester’s nose and eyes. Tweety then tosses his “hat” back, declaring it too big, and one last person snatches it up along with the remains of the cat. Tweety and Granny then head to the nutcracker section and Granny instructs Tweety to pick out a good one. Tweety hops onto the shelf and draws Granny’s attention to a big, ugly, one. It’s Sylvester in disguise, and Granny scoops him up and declares they need to put it to the test. Sylvester is sweating profusely as Granny shoves a handful of walnuts into his mouth. She then uses his tail like a lever and Sylvester tries to crack the nuts, but all he does is crack his teeth. Granny keeps tugging to no effect prompting Tweety to smash Sylvester in the head with a novelty candy cane. The nuts fall out of his mouth, along with the remains of his teeth. Granny then nervously tries to put the defective merchandise back without anyone noticing and urges Tweety to come look at the Christmas trees. Sylvester emerges from the shelf, and with a pan and dust broom, sweeps up his shattered teeth and dumps them back into his mouth. The clinking foley on his teeth is most unpleasant.

And for that matter, where’s my Sylvester Christmas tree?!

In the Christmas tree section, Granny and Tweety survey their options. Tweety notes the trees are rather skinny, but Granny demonstrates they work like umbrellas as she opens one. Tweety then poses on top of another pretending he’s a star, but above him Sylvester is waiting to strike. He sings the opening verse to “The Twelve Days of Christmas” substituting the partridge for a yellow canary. He dives at Tweety, but the little bird flutters away leaving Sylvester to land mouth first on the tree. It goes all the way to his tail and Tweety, seemingly totally aware that Sylvester is trying to get him, tells Granny he likes this tree declaring it funky. Granny regards the cat tree curiously and then opens it up. Sylvester becomes a full blown Christmas tree, but Granny thinks he looks a bit scraggly. Tweety just thinks they need to plug it in, so he does, and Sylvester gets a good jolt as his eyes and nose turn into Christmas lights which promptly explode to an instrumental rendition of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Sylvester with his face missing a nose is giving me my second The Ren & Stimpy Show impression of this special as his face has a very Stimpy-like appearance.

Sylvester always looks extra pathetic when naked.

We next find Granny and Tweety in the electronics section. Granny is occupied looking at the sales while Tweety is playing with a remote-controlled car. Sylvester, lurking behind a display television, tries to grab Tweety, but he moves out of the way just in the nick of time. Sylvester then picks up the TV and tiptoes after the bird using the television to keep himself hidden, only for the bit to repeat. After the third attempt, Sylvester turns the TV on to reveal himself looking quite angry before he turns it off. When he next places the TV down he has the misfortune of finding himself in a sale section with arrows and signs declaring the item is free. A mob descends upon Sylvester once more leaving him battered and furless. He remarks “It’s black and blue Friday,” before collapsing. We now cut to Sylvester in a wig tying some mistletoe to the end of a fishing rod. It would seem he’s going to give the old mistletoe routine a try as he casts the rod over a display where Tweety resides on the other side. The little bird looks up to see the flowers over his head and then Sylvester emerges in drag to point out the obvious. He declares that, by the laws of Christmas, they must kiss and as the cat puckers up Tweety concedes he doesn’t want to break the law. He also does not look at all thrilled about kissing Sylvester, but he closes his eyes and prepares to do just that, only for Sylvester to snap his jaw shut over him. Contented, Sylvester relaxes a little, until smoke starts escpaping from his mouth. He sticks out his tongue to find a lit menorah, and a cheerful canary wishing him a happy Hannukah.

Sylvester seems so touched by this gesture that I feel kind of bad for him that this will not end well.

Tweety hops down, but Sylvester is done playing around. He simply scoops the bird up in his hands apparently done with the little game they’re playing. As he tells Tweety what he’s about to do, Tweety informs the “puddy tat” that if he eats him then he won’t be able to give him his Christmas present. Sylvester is taken off-guard as Tweety produces the wrapped box. He takes the gift as tears well up in his eyes declaring that no one has ever given him a Christmas gift. He’s bathed in an angelic light and Tweety urges him to open it. Sylvester at first refuses for what would Santy Claus think of him? Tweety flirtatiously says “I won’t tell,” and that’s all the convincing Sylvester needs. He rips into the gift and pulls out a little catnip mouse. He says it’s what he’s always wanted and looks genuinely touched. As he gives it a squeak, the fur falls off revealing a stick of dynamite. Sylvester is then blown up and comes to rest on a pile of fruitcake in a fruitcake-like shape himself. Tweety sticks a sign designating the fruit cake as costing a mere fifty cents and the mob returns. Only this time they stop short, turn up their nose at the sight of fruitcake, and leave. This allows Tweety to do his customary mugging for the camera routine which has closed many a Tweety short previously. He declares that no one likes fruitcake, or puddy tats, and leaves us with a big, exaggerated, smile.

As was the case with Sylvester, much pain is ahead for Wile E. Coyote.

You may have expected this one to return to the Christmas tree, but we’re not ready to do that just yet. Instead, the iris shot which closes the preceding cartoon opens on a fairly familiar looking desert landscape. Only this time, it’s dotted with patchy snow. A trail of smoke ends with the familiar sight of a speeding road runner. He looks pretty much like the road runner of old, only with a more saturated blue tone. Nearby is the ever hungry Wile E. Coyote scoping out the road runner through a pair of binoculars. He also looks like the coyote of old, but with a floppy snout that adds a touch of ugliness to his design. He has a festive trap planned for his would-be dinner: a gift addressed to the road runner from Santa Claus. The gift is placed in the center of the road, and above it lurks a large boulder being supported by a small stick. It’s tied off with a red ribbon secured to a rock at ground level and when the road runner snatches his gift it should pull the stick free and cause the boulder to come crashing down upon him. How the coyote will consume the squashed remains is a problem for later. When the road runner comes upon the gift, the coyote braces for impact, which never comes. Instead, he looks to the road and sees another gift, this one addressed to him! He’s quite touched by the gesture and it’s hard not to feel like we just saw this exact same scenario play out with Sylvester a moment ago. It makes me think these were all produced independently. He cheerfully opens the present and inside is a stick. Not just any stick, mind you, but the stick that had been keeping the boulder at bay. It lurches forth and comes plummeting down to crush the coyote. It splits in half like an egg, and when the battered coyote emerges he too splits in half.

Who wouldn’t want that card on their fridge?

The next plot involves a phony Christmas picture photo booth. A sign beckons those who come upon it to come get their picture taken with a Christmas tree. We then see how this plan is supposed to unfold as the coyote opens a box for an ACME extra large mace. He puts the heavy, spiked, object on top of the tree and hits it with some yellow spray paint. He then consults his blueprints which shows that the road runner is supposed to stand on the “X” in the road and look at the camera while the coyote chops down the tree sending the mace onto him. The “meep meep” sound of the bird alerts the coyote to hide and as the road runner comes upon the trap, he falls for it! The coyote springs out from behind the tree with his axe and chops at the base. He does a pretty good job, but the tree does not fall. He kicks at it, pushes it, but to no avail as the road runner waits for the camera to go off. A few shoulder tackles finally gets the job done, but as the tree falls, the mace stays in place. It floats in the air a moment, and then falls on the coyote as the camera goes off and we’re treated to a Polaroid of the mangled mutt.

Since Santa and his reindeer are on the screen for a fraction of a second they must have felt like they could get away with only having four reindeer.

The next bit involves an ACME Santa’s Workshop kit. It’s basically a façade with a working door and behind it the coyote places a whole bunch of explosives. He then takes shelter behind a boulder where he keeps the detonator, a plunger styled device, and waits for his prey. The road runner comes upon the trap, looks it over a moment, then runs right through the door! The coyote pushes down on the detonator, and nothing happens. He does it a few times before he decides to investigate, but as he nears the door it swings open and out comes Santa Claus in his sleigh (pulled by only four reindeer – boo)! He leaves the coyote flattened, and the road runner is riding alongside him in the sleigh. As the coyote gets up and watches the two head out of sight, he regards the phony workshop curiously. He approaches with some trepidation, like he knows what’s likely to happen, and just before his hand touches the door it all explodes. The charred and angry coyote just looks at the camera and whips out a “Bah Humbug!” sign in defeat.

And now for the star of the show. Did they save the best for last?

Now, we return to the Christmas tree setting as we move away from a cactus ornament the narrator remarks the holidays are a time for sharing. The camera comes to rest on an ornament that reads “Love thy Neighbor” and the image dissolves to come upon the site of a mailbox beside a hole. This can only belong to one Bugs Bunny (Bauza), and we find the wabbit sitting by a roaring fireplace enjoying a nice cup of hot, carrot, tea. A large amount of snow comes down his chimney to blunt that fire, and when Bugs cries out another clump falls on him. He needs to investigate what’s going on and pops out of his hole as-if it were equipped with an elevator. This Bugs is the more streamlined Bugs as he appeared in his earliest cartoons. He also has yellow gloves, as the prototype Bugs featured, and I’m still torn on if I like the gloves or not. They’re a very pale yellow, but they still clash with the gray of his fur, but at least it’s different.

Elmer may have been forced to give up his shotgun, but otherwise little has changed between these two over the years.

The culprit for this snow storm is Bugs’ neighbor – Elmer Fudd (Bergman). Elmer has a pretty traditional design as well, but with perhaps a bit more exaggeration to his jowls. He’s shoveling his walk and tossing the snow wherever he pleases. Bugs approaches him and, rather politely, requests that he not do that. Elmer just declares it’s his home and he can do whatever he wants demonstrating that he is completely absent of reason. When Bugs, rather flirtatiously, reminds him that he should love thy neighbor he punctuates it with an “And I love you!” followed by a hug. Elmer tells him he hates him, and he hates his house too! He swats a lump of snow with his shovel like a baseball bat that takes out Bugs’ chimney. He then fires up a snowblower and blows the wabbit away. He follows that up by pounding the snow that is now over the rabbit hole, and while dusting himself off, declares that no one tells him what to do. This could quite literally be the hill that he dies on. Elmer then starts thinking about how he’s going to treat himself when he’s done clearing the snow. As he does, he’s oblivious to the snow rising beneath him as Bugs pushes it out of his hole. He tosses it, and Elmer, like a log and Elmer is still thinking about pie as he crashes into his own property. His head bursts out of the snow looking beat up and with some stylish snow hair!

Though I will say, Elmer just being a flat-out asshole in this one is a bit of a change for his character.

We then find Bugs trying to rebuild his shattered chimney, but he keeps getting hammered with more snow! It’s Elmer, who after getting dusted by the bunny needs to re-shovel his walkway and is tossing the snow back in Bugs’ direction. Bugs pops up behind him and casually asks him what he’s doing. He explains the situation, unaware that he’s talking to the wabbit that caused this mess. Bugs sympathizes with him, but then tosses in a casual reminder to mind those walkways this time of year as they can be mighty slippery. He then dumps a bucket of water on the surface Elmer is standing on which freezes instantly. He does a faceplant, and when he lifts his head up we see his face crack and shatter into pieces on the ground. Bugs then smashes him with a refrigerator for good measure.

Come on, Elmer! Usually, Bugs at least hides his ears to fool you, but here it’s like he’s not even trying!

Bugs then walks off thinking that problem is solved, but we still have several minutes left in this short which suggests it most certainly is not. He sings his own version of “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” to substitute in shoveling the walkway, until a snowball hits him in the back of the head knocking him over. It’s an enraged Elmer, and Bugs confronts him and warns him not to do something he’ll regret. Elmer responds in kind with more snowballs and Bugs just…takes it? He gets repeatedly pelted with snowballs as he cries out in pain before falling face first in the snow. Elmer gets a few more shots in apparently targeting the ass of Bugs. When the camera switches to focus on him, we see an old lady come rolling up in a wheelchair behind him. It’s obviously Bugs, but he lifts off his disguise momentarily to wink at the camera in case there was any doubt. He then shouts “Junior!” and it’s clear he’s playing Elmer’s mother. Convincingly, apparently, as Elmer is fooled. She reprimands him for not dressing in layers before slamming a ton of clothes on him. She then tells him to finish the job and bash that rabbit and hands him what looks like a skinny Christmas tree from the Tweety short. Only it’s the top of an actual tree that Bugs just bent over and when Elmer takes hold of it he lets go sending the man on a trip through the air. He crashes into a funeral home, which explodes on impact, leaving behind a somber looking grave complete with tombstone.

The wreath is one of the few hints of Christmas in this short and it even mysteriously vanishes from the door in the next shot.

We get a nice close-up on the headstone which reads “Here Lies Elmer Fudd, Loved by neighbors (not really)” and his date of birth is just 1940 and date of death 2020. The headstone then splits and an enraged Elmer emerges from behind it. He’s going to bash that wabbit, and his weapon of choice is a lead pipe (I guess found in the rubble of the funeral home?). He goes rushing off to seek his revenge, but is taken aback when he gets to his house and finds all of the snow is gone. There’s a nice wreath on his door and that along with the stocking on Bugs’ fireplace is about the only Christmas this short has. When Elmer approaches the house, Bugs shows up to say he’s responsible. He felt bad about how things had gone down, so he cleared all of the snow. Elmer is overjoyed and invites the rabbit in for tea, but in doing so also declares that he was in the right this whole time and is glad that Bugs came to see that. This might have been a wrong move, though it also seems like the trap was already laid, for when Elmer inquires what Bugs did with all of the snow he’s told it was put in a place that will make them both happy. Bugs opens the front door and a wall of snow is visible which basically explodes from the house, including the chimney! Bugs then walks away content with his work, but the mountain of snow that was Elmer’s house shudders and explodes leaving behind a monstrous snow plow and an angry, little, bald man behind the wheel.

Wait – he’s had this massive plow the whole time he was shoveling?!

Bugs then remarks “Too far?” as he runs for his life while Elmer drives after him, his face purple and red with rage. He chases Bugs to the edge of a cliff and as Bugs finds his back up against nothing but thin air, he uses cartoon magic to get out of the predicament by simply crawling along the underside of the cliff like a gecko or something. He emerges from behind the snow plow as Elmer waits to hear the scream of Bugs as he falls. And since he’s doing so, he’s not actually watching what he’s doing as Bugs encourages him to keep moving “a little further” until he finds himself suspended in midair. Once he realizes what he’s done, the plow falls and explodes upon impact on the ground below.

Silly Elmer, don’t you know the wabbit always wins?

There Bugs finds the unconscious, but still rather put together, Fudd. He resorts to the old painted glasses trick and paints a beach setting onto the lenses and puts them on Elmer’s face before he regains consciousness. Once he does, he’s soon convinced by Bugs that summer is here! He puts on his best green Speedo and sets himself up with a nice beach chair. As he settles in to enjoy some rays and reflects on his apparent victory over the wabbit, we smash cut to Elmer completely frozen like the end of Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Bugs emerges from behind him to declare that Elmer’s victory has been frozen in time. He then has a laugh at Elmer’s expense, who can only blink his eyes, and we return to the living room setting.

Bugs gets to do the honors of wishing us a happy holiday, which is fitting.

The narrator then attempts to wrap this thing up. And as he does, we see the arm of Bugs reach out from in front of a lounge chair to grab a carrot and milk. The camera changes to then show Bugs outright revealing that he is, in fact, our narrator. Before he can wish us a merry Christmas, he’s overtaken by a fit of coughing, which once over returns his voice to its natural sound. He waves at the camera and apologizes for his allergies, then ends with a “Thanks for stopping by and Happy Holidays!” Cue the “That’s all folks!” screen, sans Porky, and put a bow on it!

This edition of Looney Tunes Cartoons is, without question, the best half hour of holiday themed Looney Tunes content we’ve ever been graced with. It’s better than the other toons we’ve looked at this year, and probably better than Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales. It’s helped by having character designs that are pretty much classic interpretations of the characters with just a touch of added stylizing. The voice acting and sound design are both terrific, and the quality of the animation, while obviously digital, is pretty damn good for what it is. One could perhaps quibble with the length of this one as it’s three standard-length shorts with a pair of smaller segments used to break them up. And yet, I quite liked the bit with Taz trying to carol and the Road Runner segment was rather short and sweet. Of the meatier segments, I think the Daffy and Porky one was probably my favorite of the three. It had a conventional plot of two dim-witted characters chipping in on Christmas, but with the added subtext that this version of Santa is kind of a monster and the helpers are scabs. He’s more like an evil overlord, and while it made him rather unlikable, he at least did the right thing in the end. The Sylvester and Tweety short was fairly typical of the duo with the cat trying to capture the bird, but getting outwitted by him at every turn. It had some solid gags and I rather enjoyed seeing Sylvester as a Christmas tree, but man, I hate fruit cake jokes so it had a bit of a sour ending.

It really is almost..time…for Christmas!

The weak spot for me was the Bugs Bunny cartoon. Not because it was bad, it was actually quite entertaining, but because IT WASN’T A CHRISTMAS SHORT! This whole month I’ve been trying to find not just a good Looney Tunes Christmas special, but a good Bugs Bunny one too and in a way I’m still left wanting. The Bugs Bunny cartoon is basically a snow fight between him and Elmer and the only Christmas I noticed was the wreath on Elmer’s door and some decorations on Bugs’ fireplace. What a bummer. They could have just tossed Santa into the end or something and had him play a role in settling things, but maybe they didn’t want to since that’s how the Road Runner segment ended? Again, not a bad cartoon, just not really a Christmas one.

The wrap-around segments with the uncredited narrator added a little holiday charm, but it also felt a tad derivative. There was no gag, unless you count the Bugs reveal at the end which was hardly a shock, so it felt surprisingly earnest. It very much reminded me of the Mickey Mouse special Once Upon A Christmas and its sequel. It’s an easy way to make a Christmas special feel like a Christmas special so I don’t fault them for doing it, but just wish they did it better.

Even though I admittedly have one rather big problem with this Christmas special, I still think it’s deserving of a recommend. I could recommend the other Looney Tunes specials as a curiosity piece, but this one works as just good entertainment. Which is how I view the whole of Looney Tunes Cartoons. It’s a solid B+ show that’s keeping these characters alive outside of Space Jam, and for that I’m thankful. For now, this one appears to only be available on HBO/Warner’s Max platform, which is unfortunate. Maybe it will get a showing on Cartoon Network, but don’t count on it. It looks like it’s available for purchase digitally, and you may even be able to find it elsewhere. I think it’s worth checking out and there’s a bunch of other Christmas stuff on Max so a one-month subscription might be just the ticket for your holiday entertainment, though maybe not at this point since we’re nearing the end of the season. Hey, there’s always next year!

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 23 – Bluey – “Verandah Santa”

When it comes to The Christmas Spot, I have very few rules. I definitely favor animated Christmas specials, but that’s not some rule I’ve created for myself. The programs don’t have to be all ages, they don’t have to be “nice,” and they certainly don’t have to be any good as I’ve looked at an…

Dec. 23 – DuckTales – “How Santa Stole Christmas”

One of my favorite modern Christmas specials is the DuckTales episode “Last Christmas.” I feel like anytime I talk DuckTales I have to specify which era, though in this case I really shouldn’t since the original DuckTales never did a Christmas episode. To make up for that, the 2017 edition of the show did two…

Dec. 23 – The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! – “Koopa Klaus”

During the late 80s Nintendo was on fire in the US. The Nintendo Entertainment System came storming into living rooms, basements, and dens across the country making Mario and Luigi household names. In addition to video games, there were tons of licensing deals for clothing, school supplies, bedding, you name it. If it could be…


Dec. 22 – Future-Worm! – “Lost in the Mall”

No title card for this one, so here’s the title card for the show. Original air date December 12, 2016.

I realize we just did a Christmas post the other day set in a mall, but at least this one is actually set at Christmas! And we’re pivoting from Nicktoons to Disney toons (which surprisingly don’t have their own fun branding) with the short-lived cartoon Future-Worm! I’ll be honest, before doing this post I had never heard of this show. It ran for close to two years (one season plus five shorts) from August 2016 to May of 2018 and is the creation of Ryan Quincy. Quincy is probably best known for his work as an animation director on South Park, a Christmas Spot veteran itself, but has had a few opportunities to oversee his own work. Future-Worm! is an animated show about a boy named Danny (Andy Milonakis) who is something of a genius as he’s able to create a time machine out of an ordinary lunch box. That time machine gets sent into the future and returns with a worm, the titular Future-Worm (James Adomian), or Fyootch for short.

It’s a pretty wacky premise, but the 2010s are full of cartoons with pretty wacky premises, from what I’ve encountered. My initial impression upon just viewing the show was that it had a very Adult Swim appearance to it. And I suppose that makes sense since the animation was provided by Titmouse, which made a name for itself via many Adult Swim shows. Titmouse has since gone on to really broaden its portfolio and is one of the more respected names in animation today, but there’s no denying that they’re really good at that sort of minimalist, almost intentionally cheap look a lot of Adult Swim shows (and something like South Park) embody. There also appears to be some influence to the design of the show from Rick and Morty, which was fast becoming the latest breakout hit for Adult Swim when Future-Worm! was in development. Even the concept for the show sounds like it could have been a Rick and Morty episode.

Despite my unfamiliarity with the show, I’ll do my best to relay what’s happening in this holiday themed episode in which one of the protagonists becomes lost in the mall at Christmas time. It’s a solid premise, but it’s a bit of a surprise that the one getting lost is our main character’s father, Doug (Quincy), and not the child lead. What happens to a man who gets lost in the holiday scrum and trapped in the mall after hours? It’s time to find out!

You gotta be careful at the mall on “Holiday” Eve.

“Lost in the Mall” is the second segment of the episode we’re looking at. The first, “Future-Worm and the 54 days of Snordfest,” could also be described as a holiday episode. Rather than do both in one entry, I picked the more “Christmassy” episode of the two. If I need to fill a day down the road, I could always come back to it. This one begins with Doug declaring it’s “Holiday Eve,” and that this is a time for family, only he doesn’t get to finish his thought as he gets knocked over by patrons in the mall. It would seem the family is out at the mall for some last-minute Christmas shopping.

Apparently Mrs. Douglas (yes, the father’s name is Doug Douglas) is an inventor and toy maker.

Doug sees nothing but senseless violence all around, but the rest of the family is just going with it. Danny calls for his dad to help push through the crowd while Fyootch informs him he’s here for a last run on the holiday themed latte. When Doug suggests he himself makes a mean latte, Fyootch shoots him down. He’s a bit of a connoisseur. Megan (Melanie Lynskey), Danny’s mom and Doug’s wife, is actually there to see how well her product is selling: The action figure chair! She holds up a sign for the product and it would seem she made a chair that people are supposed to buy for their action figures. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I’d probably buy such a thing.

I’m guessing this vision has no chance of happening.

Doug expresses his desires to just have a nice holiday at home by the fire. We even get to see how he envisioned this unfolding and I’m assuming regular viewers of the show would find this idyllic scene to be implausible for the family. Doug seems down, and Danny is too because he’s afraid he’ll never get a copy of Lettuce Delivery 2, the apparent cool game of the season. Danny basically gets stuck in a loop thanks to his anxiety over missing out on the sequel to the greatest game of all time forcing Fyootch to slap him in the face with the end of his tail. Danny thanks his worm-buddy for snapping him out of it, then asks for his help. Fyootch uses his tongue to press a button on a device fastened to his tail that sort of looks like a smart watch, but with buttons. It apparently makes him grow in size as he goes from being a fairly normal-sized worm to one that’s more like the size of a dog.

Who is out here throwing cookies?!

Once embiggened, Fyootch calls out to the mob that someone is giving away free money. This, not surprisingly, causes a stampede as people rush to get some cash and we get to see what they had been crowding around before: the mall Santa shop. Mrs. Claus (Paget Brewster) has a pretty sour expression on her face when she sees her crowd disappear and I’m guessing that’s going to cause some problems. As Future-Worm laughs at the mob for running for free money (which he thinks is worthless), he gets pelted by gingerbread. More gingerbread comes raining down on the family and it’s being tossed by the elves from the Santa setup. Mrs. Claus is now on a megaphone as well announcing there’s free gingerbread which, despite Fyootch mocking the dessert as gross, turns the mob around. The family is forced to run for their lives, but Doug slips on a gingerbread man. He picks it up to regard it in a curious fashion, and then a little girl essentially sets the entire mob on him by claiming he has the last cookie. It sure seemed like those elves had a ton more, but these are mob rules and they don’t have to make sense.

Did he have a bad experience with gingerbread in the past? Or future?

We cut to Fyootch at the counter of a coffee bar. He cheerfully announces that he would like one, seasonal, latte, please. The barista (Charlyne Yi), somewhat aggressively, calls for a gingerbread latte which shocks Fyootch. He then looks around and sees people sucking down lattes and chomping on gingerbread men and he’s horrified. He falls off of the counter in shock and starts backing away towards the door wondering aloud how someone can drink bread. He bumps into a store display gingerbread man which causes him to cry out in fear as he makes a break for it. This worm really doesn’t like gingerbread.

The most efficient way to travel through a stampede.

At the store Toysasaurus Rex, Danny is back to freaking out because he can’t get through a crowd. His mother is beside him when an alarm goes off announcing that the mall is dangerously overcrowded and that all patrons must stampede to the nearest exit. This sets off the requested stampede which Doug finds himself in. A girl comes running at him with a sign reading “The End is Near” which causes him to stumble and crash into a store display coffin. Pretty weird for such a thing to still be hanging around at Christmas, but okay. Danny and his mom end up crowd-surfing atop the mob and it works out for them as we next see them at home looking exhausted. Megan is reclined in a chair when she pops up screaming “Doug!” I wonder how long they were home before they realized they left Doug behind?

Uh oh, Doug’s in trouble!

We go back to find Doug shoving open the coffin. It’s dark now and he’s in some, weird, goth, shop I guess. He questions if he died in the stampede and decides to call home just to make sure. Before he can complete his call though some shadowy figures emerge causing him to shriek, “Ghosts!” and drop his phone. We smash cut to the rest of the family literally smashing their way into the store. Megan seems uneasy about breaking and entering as she tries to assure herself the mall’s “Lost shopper insurance,” will cover the damage. Fyootch, who is still embiggened, wonders why Doug isn’t answering his phone, but Danny declares he implanted a tracking device in his father for just such an occasion (didn’t Peter Griffin claim to do this to Lois in a Family Guy Christmas special?) and his tracker shows that his father is in the security office for lost and found. Makes sense!

Doug may be in trouble, but how often do you get the chance to shop in an empty mall? Oh, right, that’s pretty much every mall these days.

Fyootch gets the line of the episode so far with, “Typical, Doug. Whole place to himself and he goes to hang out with mall cops.” Danny then brings up that the toy store is on the way to the lost and found and they could stop there. Megan is apparently in no hurry as she points out how her husband loves to rummage through lost and found sections. Fyootch also has no intention of going straight to Doug as he’s planning on fixing himself a proper latte – one with peppermint. I’m not a latte person myself, but in the war of peppermint vs gingerbread as a flavoring agent I’m going to have to side with the worm here.

Apparently, the goths are to blame. They all seem to be uncredited, but I’m guessing the main cast voice them.

We cut to Doug who is now tied to a chair in a dark room with wavy, red, lines on the floor that could be mistaken for blood at first glance which adds to the danger. We then see the face of his kidnapper – some goth dude, who asks Doug if he’s a spy because he has some kind of device in his neck. Doug is surprised to hear this, but then tells the guy it was just his kid who implanted the thing. He’s then shocked to find it gone, and then two other even creepier goths emerge from the shadows to inform him they pulled it out and stuck it in the lost and found. They’re not buying his story, but Doug explains he got left behind and expresses his desire for a nice, quiet, holiday at home and we get to see his idyllic image once again. He’s crying now, and a third person emerges from the shadows, this one dressed like a princess (Chelsea Peretti). She relates to Doug’s feelings of abandonment and unties him. She then adds that he can be of assistance to them with their “special mission,” which horrifies Doug for some reason.

So…do they guard all holidays? Or just this apparent Holiday?

At the toy store, the place is in ruins and all of the copies of Lettuce Delivery 2 have been picked clean. In fact, it would appear that everything in the store has sold out (or been stolen) except for a full rack of the action figure chair. Future-Worm comes slithering in with his latte to talk down to a dejected Megan declaring that no one needs chairs for their action figures. I beg to differ, worm. We then jump back to wherever Doug is being held as the goths are apparently ready to explain their plan to him. He’s told they just formed this group this morning because they like belonging and they like acronyms. He pulls down a sign that reads “G.O.T.H.S. – Guardians of the Holidays” to better illustrate his point. Doug, demonstrating that he’s a real square, reads it as “Go-ths” with a long “o” vowel, but no one corrects him. The goth dude just continues to explain their mission is to investigate “this,” and he holds up a flyer that reads “Join Us! Enjoy Us!” and it’s a man in a pile of gingerbread men. A gingerbread sun is also shining down upon him like some sort of religious experience. Honestly, it’s a flyer worth investigating. They feel that someone is trying to replace regular families with gingerbread ones and they want to fight for families because no one ever fought for them.

This must be so damaging for Doug. It would have been better for him to walk in on Megan and Future-Worm than see this!

The goth kid then concedes there’s a good chance they’re going to abandon their mission and just chill out and listen to music. These goths definitely are lacking in self-confidence as this isn’t a confession he’s proud to admit. They ask Doug if he’s willing to help, but Doug is clearly looking for a way out of this social setting. He theorizes that his family is likely worried about him, but the goths have a surprise. They show him the security feed which displays his family at the mall shopping. Doug can’t believe it, while the goths see this as a way to recruit him to their cause. They need a purist like him, and when Doug indicates he’s willing to help, they tell him he needs to first pass their test: by kicking his family out of the mall!

Well, looks like Doug entered his goth phase a little late in life.

Future-Worm, Danny, and Megan are strolling past the Santa area from the episode’s beginning. Fyootch pauses to regard a standee of a gingerbread man which he strikes down and taunts with the question “Are you bread? Or are you cookie, because you sure aren’t a man!” Danny tells his buddy to essentially knock it off as they need to find his dad, but it turns out his dad has found them. They all gasp when they turn to see Doug, now in full goth regalia. He definitely doesn’t look sure of himself while Megan asks if he pierced his nose. We then hear the voice of the princess girl announce that they sell clip-ons. She and the rest of the squad emerge from the shadows and the princess one adds a “Hi Megan. Thanks for saving my planet. P.S. I work at the mall now.” Apparently, they know each other as Megan refers to her as Ennuisha (see episode “The Forever Five”) and seems genuinely happy to see her again.

This is a fun little reunion. I guess?

Megan starts to go on a bit with her surprise reunion before essentially reminding herself that she’s both mad and confused at what’s going on. She demands an explanation from Doug who tells her that he’s joined their group. Fyootch has no interest in what’s going on and requests the keys to the car, but when Doug mentions the gingerbread conspiracy he’s suddenly all ears, assuming worms have ears. Megan doesn’t seem convinced and asks Doug if he got brainwashed by a secret society again? Doug has the rather childlike retort of “I didn’t get brainwashed! You did!” and goes on a rant about Christmas consumerism. Megan tries to defend herself by saying they rushed over to find him, but he throws the surveillance tape at them (figuratively) and they really have no response. Well, Future-Worm shoots back that he’d have gotten another latte if he knew this was going to take so long.

I think this may be the most frightening Mrs. Claus I’ve ever seen.

With that out in the open, Doug does as he was told to do and casts the family out of the mall. They hang their heads and slink off as Doug turns his back on them. The goth dude then tells him to snap out of it as they’re already gone and a voice chimes in to suggest they should have done the same! A lasso gets tossed from out of nowhere that binds the goths together. Then, they see their attacker: Mrs. Claus! And her elves! She offers up no initial explanation instead choosing to unleash a maniacal laugh revealing some sharp, scary-looking, teeth which Mrs. Claus isn’t typically known for. Then again, it might be hard to come by good dental up at the north pole, especially when you mock every elf that wants to become a dentist.

The elf deposited a nice load on Doug’s chest, there.

The rest of the family is shown walking through the parking lot with Danny asking his mom if they’re really going to have holiday morning without his dad? It’s at this point I’m realizing they’re avoiding the word Christmas – is that a Disney thing? I remember the Buzz Lightyear show did the same thing. Anyway, Megan refuses to do such a thing and vows to go back for Doug. Meanwhile, that very same Doug finds himself strapped to a conveyor belt while an elf piles up gingerbread batter on his chest which could be a subtle poop joke. Doug laments that his son is going to have a gingerbread man for a father and Mrs. Claus butts in to basically tell him, “Duh!” She wants to replace all families with gingerbread because families suck, or something, and this machine is going to achieve that. As Doug starts moving along, we see a hydraulic press is in his immediate future which I guess will merge him with the batter on his chest. Or it will just create some human-gingerbread mush.

I’m getting the sense there’s a lot about Megan I don’t know.

Lucky for Doug, he has one heroic wife. Megan cries out to him from the balcony and comes swinging in like Tarzan on some holiday garland. She gets in-between Doug and the press and literally holds it up. This woman is some kind of strong! Doug is understandably happy to be reunited with his wife as Danny comes rushing in to unplug the machine. He then decides to taunt Santa over his plans being foiled which is awfully sexist of him. Mrs. Claus is rather quick to point out that this whole plan is her idea and the Santa standing behind her is just three elves in a costume. Not just any elves, gingerbread elves and their skin basically melts into shapeless mounds of gingerbread which is pretty horrifying stuff. Mrs. Claus then tells the shocked family that it is she who made gingerbread the flavor of the season.

Well, that’s a bit unexpected.

She goes on and on about her efforts to advance gingerbread, but Danny casually interrupts to ask if she’s the Bread Baron? He then explains to the goth people that the Bread Baron is a nemesis of theirs and even refers them to the “Old Man Duck Head” video, which is a previous episode of the show. Mrs. Claus seems insulted he would think that she’s him and Danny is momentarily relieved, only for Mrs. Claus to declare that she’s really the Bread Baroness! She rips off her fleshy head to reveal a head that’s actually a gingerbread house which gets a laugh out of Fyootch. She then explains that her husband thought too small and didn’t think gingerbread was a real bread, which also explains why he left her for “a little French croissant.”

Aww, a little holiday magic.

She cackles that she doesn’t need her ex, or anyone, but is interrupted by Ennuisha who points out that she’s doing all of this just because her marriage deteriorated. She relates to the Baroness and apologizes for that happening to her. The Bread Baroness is caught off-guard by this showing of sympathy and tries to dismiss it, but seems genuinely touched. She soon finds her resolve though and vows to carry out her plan to replace families with gingerbread ones so that people can simply eat their families when they get sick of them. Doug then steps up to essentially say “Not today, Bread Baroness!” He explains that families are imperfect, but they still love each other and there’s no replacing one’s family. They all share a hug, and then Doug declares that “It’s time to break bread,” though not with much bravado.

I guess it was all a story.

A narrator then chimes in to tell us what happened next. Still images of the family beating down the gingerbread squad play before us as the episode basically decides to “Yadda yadda,” what should have been the best part. Some of the stills are amusing, like the family clotheslining the Baroness with a giant candy cane and the crew stomping some elves into mud. We’re then told that’s how the family saved the holidays as a book closes on it. It’s revealed that our narrator is an older version of Future-Worm who just finished reading a story to a really old, and sleeping, Danny. This is apparently some holiday tradition. He then wishes us a “Happy holidays,” to close it out.

That show really did feel like Rick and Morty for kids. Doug is such a Gerry character while Future-Worm himself embodies the selfishness of Rick with the genius of Rick going to Danny, who being a young boy, also embodies some Morty. It kind of works and I definitely didn’t hate what I just watched, but did I like it? I guess I’m not sure. I was definitely annoyed by the avoidance of the word Christmas. I’m not one of those “War on Christmas” types and I think when you’re out and about at this time of year and want to send some holiday wishes to a stranger “Happy Holidays” is the perfect way to do so. I just find it annoying when a television show is clearly celebrating Christmas, but goes out of its way to avoid saying the holiday’s name. It’s not a make or break thing, just a pet peeve.

The fight scene could have been something special, but instead we just got three still images.

This one positions itself as an offbeat Christmas holiday special and it’s out to make the viewer laugh. It’s just not particularly clever. I feel like anyone can come up with an outlandish premise like a time-traveling worm that speaks like Otto from The Simpsons. It’s just after that how do you make such a premise work? The plot with the goths just wasn’t particularly funny. It’s like they thought of the acronym first and then tried to make it fit, but the characters added nothing and it seemed to only exist for the sight gag of Doug in goth attire. I’m also not sure why the character of Ennuisha was brought back, but maybe this show just likes rewarding its viewers with callbacks for the sake of callbacks.

I will concede that the plot of gingerbread trying to replace humanity is pretty creative.

What did work for me was Future-Worm’s disdain for gingerbread. It feels a bit like a Seinfeld routine (“What is the deal with gingerbread? Is it a cookie or a bread?!”), but it works given the character’s preference for peppermint as his chosen holiday spice. I just wish the episode got more out of it. We get the scene at the coffee shop, then it’s reduced to just an occasional quip out of the character. I wanted to see him take charge against the enemies and truly vanquish the gingerbread squad. Instead, the episode wanted to put the focus on the family, which I get, but it’s also not exactly an original conclusion for a Christmas holiday episode. And then to just not even attempt to animate the action part was a cruel joke. Would the censors have not allowed for them to do it justice? If so, then okay, but otherwise that was a cheap cop-out.

All that being said, Future-Worm! isn’t a bad show from the little I’ve seen, it’s just flawed. And perhaps that’s why it wasn’t around for very long. I’ve never really encountered any praise for it online, nor have I encountered the opposite. It’s just a cable animated series for kids that came and went without much of an impact and television is loaded with many such programs in its history. The last remaining question is should you take the time to spend your Christmas holiday with Future-Worm!? I guess if you want to show your kids something a bit different it has some value. If you’re an adult and looking for something truly subversive, there’s better stuff out there.

Future-Worm! can currently be found streaming on Hulu for those in the US. For those outside of the US, check Disney+. It’s also available for purchase digitally.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 22 – Santabear’s High Flying Adventure

As we’ve maneuvered through the countdown for 2022 the theme of The Christmas Tape has stayed strong. And today, I am going down a rabbit hole because of that tape. If you read the first entry this year, you may recall I talked about a Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial that contained a contest for kids…

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Dec. 22 – Extreme Dinosaurs – “Holiday on Ice”

After looking at what I considered to be a pretty good cartoon yesterday, I’m feeling like I need to take-in some trash today. It’s to the late 90s we go and the Bohbot/DiC Street Sharks spin-off Extreme Dinosaurs! Ah yes, everything was extreme around this time. Surge was packing the soft drinks aisle in stores,…

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Dec. 21 – RoboCop: Alpha Commando – “Oh Tannenbaum Whoa Tannenbaum!”

Original air date October 5, 1998

It’s been said that the 80s were pretty wild, and it’s not much of an exaggeration. At least where children’s media is concerned. After years of the government getting involved in what was okay to broadcast to children, the Reagan administration basically said “Eh, kids deserve to have everything and anything marketed towards them.” There were still some educational mandates placed on broadcast networks, but television producers were basically allowed to make glorified toy commercials that could pass as entertainment on their own. And apparently there just wasn’t enough kid’s content out there because toy producers turned to an unlikely source for inspiration: the R rated movie.

R rated films were suddenly on-brand to market to kids, boys mostly. Rambo got a TV show and the advertising blitz that came out of Terminator 2 at the toy aisle was inescapable. Perhaps the oddest of the bunch though was RoboCop. One look at RoboCop and it’s easy to see how that design could appeal to a kid. He’s a big cyborg with a giant sidearm housed in his leg. Since he’s a cop he can be marketed as a good guy and if one were to just make a cartoon about a robot cop for kids it’s not hard to imagine that working. The reality is that the Paul Verhoeven helmed film was a satirical takedown of the police state, consumerism, and a lot of the vices of the time present in 80s America. A show coming out of that which is just “The cops are your friends now here’s some toys” is about as far from the premise of the film as one could get, but it’s what we got.

RoboCop: Alpha Commando spanned 40 episodes airing in late 1998 and into 1999.

RoboCop premiered in the fall of 1988 and failed to make much of an impact. The show is more famous in animation circles for having its lone season cut from 13 episodes to 12 so that Marvel Productions could take that money and apply it to a pilot for an X-Men cartoon that would never get picked up. Interestingly, just a few years later the same executive producer of RoboCop, Margaret Loesch, would find herself overseeing the Fox Kids Network where she finally had enough pull to get an X-Men cartoon to television. Her chosen showrunner for that project was Eric Lewald who developed the show alongside Larry Houston and a host of others. As fate would have it, when Orion was looking to try RoboCop once again on the small screen in the late 90s, it was Eric alongside wife Julia who were tabbed to develop a new show. Larry Houston was once again on-hand, this time as a producer, and the end result would be RoboCop: Alpha Commando.

Alpha Commando is not a direct continuation of the old show or even the films, but it does sort of feel like one. It was a direct to syndication show and received an initial order of 40 episodes, which when paired with the 12 episodes of the first series, gets you to the magic number of 52 syndicated shows like to have. It takes place 10 years after RoboCop was originally created. Set in the far off time of 2030, RoboCop (David Sobolov) has been reawakened to deal with terrorists and save New Detroit City, America, the world? – once again. He has a new partner in Agent Nancy Miner (Akiko Morison) and the only character from the original movie is Sgt. Reed (Blu Mankuma). . I have zero memory of this show and I can only assume it was airing on cable. It definitely has a USA Network or Sci-Fi Channel vibe about it.

RoboCop is back with a new look and a new partner.

Was it wise to once again try and adapt RoboCop for animation? 1998 was certainly an odd time to try. The film franchise was dead following the poorly received RoboCop 3 in 1993. That film tried to bring the character more in-line with what Orion likely felt was a commercial entity as it was a PG-13 rated film instead of R. I certainly can’t speak for all children of 1993, but I know I wasn’t impressed in the rating moving from R to PG-13. That felt condescending and my kid brain rejected the PG-13 RoboCop. Plus, the movie sucked anyway. Come 1998, if you were 8-10 years old in 1993 then you were now 13-15 and likely aging out of cartoons. Just who was this show going to be for? It mostly feels like the last gasp of a fading franchise, one last shot at a big payday for the relatively small studio, and it doesn’t look like it worked out.

That doesn’t mean the show is bad. It very well might be, but I’ve honestly never watched a moment of it before now and I didn’t even know it existed. At the time, I probably came across it and was aware, but I obviously forgot and never sought it out. We’re here though which means it must have a Christmas episode. “Oh Tannenbaum Whoa Tannenbaum!” sounds like a bad Misfits song, but it’s also intriguing. Maybe not deservedly so as I can’t imagine this show is anything like the original film, but RoboCop setting its sights on Christmas has a lot of potential. Heck, lets see if at age 85 we can convince Paul Verhoeven to essentially come out of retirement and direct a real RoboCop Christmas special. I’d buy that for a dollar!

He’s got roller blades and tentacles and probably a bunch of other stuff now.

This episode of RoboCop: Alpha Commando resides almost right in the middle of the show’s run which means there’s probably some continuity at this point and the audience is expected to know who these characters are. I do not, but we’re going to do the best we can. The show begins with the caption that this is New Detroit City in the year 2030. We get some quick shots of RoboCop being constructed, or awakened, and some techno music from Carl Johnson starts to build. It’s a pretty rad intro, until the vocals come in. It’s just some layered voices chanting “ROBO-COP!” and it sounds so stupid. The visuals have also changed to show RoboCop in action. Apparently, a big metal dude with a gun isn’t cool enough so now he’s more like a bad ass Inspector Gadget. He has pop-out roller blades in his feet, net launchers in his forearms, and he can shoot out cables that wrap up his foes. We even get to see him stopping a train like Superman might. This is not your father’s RoboCop, folks.

RoboCop’s size is going to fluctuate quite a bit throughout the episode.

The episode begins high above the city as snow is falling. A robot floats onto the screen that resembles a fancy trashcan. It’s basically advertising itself as a kitchen aid and wants people to go buy one this Christmas. A blimp sails by with a video advertisement for perfume broadcasting from it and a robotic Santa with a lone reindeer crosses paths with the screen that contains a video message from one Giggles the Elf who wants people to buy him at Hunting Dorfs department store. If Hunting Dorfs is a play on an existing store it’s not landing for me (Bloomingdale’s?). It’s also possible this store is from one of the films, it’s been a while since I watched one. At street level, Agent Miner is stuck in traffic and quite angry about it. She’s pissed at all of the late shoppers clogging the streets, but her partner RoboCop is quick to point out that she’s in the same boat. RoboCop in this show is quite a deal larger than he is in the movie and looks rather absurd in a pedestrian vehicle. I don’t think he could be expected to fit in this thing. He’s also more of a dark gray in color than the steel look he had in the film and prior cartoon. I’m surprised they were able to resist calling this show RoboCop: Xtreme!

Don’t the holidays always bring out the best in people?

Inside the store, we hard cut to Sgt. Reed taking a purse to the face. A pair of older women are fighting over this Giggles the Elf doll. It’s an amusing sight as the doll is basically life-sized so the two women look like they’re playing tug-of-war with a rather short man in place of a rope. A store manager comes to help Sgt. Reed up off the floor as the purse was apparently swung by one of these women. He apologizes for the behavior of the guests as people are getting really upset and claiming that their items are being stolen. We see a group of people basically just bickering with each other and accusing each other of theft. Reed tries to put out the fire with a plea for Christmas spirit, but a rather large, angry, woman is having none of it. She lifts the rather large man off of his feet and throws him back into the other cops! Then the other patrons start wailing on them with all of their various items! This is nuts! If this were a scene in the original film, the cops would be jumping to their feet and blasting away at this mob, but this is a kid’s show. Before the scene ends, we see a bag laying on its side and a red-gloved hand sneaks into frame to snatch the contents of said bag. The hand clearly belongs to one of those elf dolls.

It’s time for RoboCop and Miner to get their special, holiday, assignment.

We switch locations with an exterior shot of the police headquarters. It looks like a giant, domed, stadium so I guess their budget is appropriately large. Sgt. Reed is sitting at his desk and rubbing the back of his head with an ice bag while RoboCop gives him a quick examination. The image is from his point of view and we get to see he’s X-raying the guy without any sort of protective equipment so he’s probably just blasting radiation out into that office. Reed has some superficial injuries to go along with his bruised dignity, as RoboCop puts it, and then the big guy prints out a bill for him. I bet he doesn’t pay it. Officer Miner then sets the plot up for us as she mentions all of the people Reed had arrested at the store were claiming to be victims of a robbery. How like the police to arrest the aggrieved? Reed says the security cameras turned up nothing, and I guess because we need a reminder of what the stakes are here, the giant woman from earlier barges in with cops draped all over her to scream about her rights and that those elf dolls were hers! The police are apparently too busy with crowd control, so Sgt. Reed has no choice but to ask Miner and Murphy to go undercover and catch these thieves. Yeah, you read that right, he wants the giant robot guy to go undercover.

Attention shoppers, please pay no attention to the unusually proportioned snowman in the center of the mall. Thank you.

RoboCop’s answer to such a request is to put on a snowman costume. I’ve seen worse ideas, though the proportions on this snowman are unlike any I have ever seen. He’s stationed inside the mall and some onlookers are understandably curious about this beefy looking snowman. Miner is nearby with an arm full of packages as she pretends to be a rich person without her trusty butler. It’s ridiculous, but apparently her plan works as her purse gets snatched. There’s an animation gaffe as the purse is still there when she tells her partner that they took the bait, then it vanishes. Mr. Frosty springs into action by ditching the costume and running after a beacon that was apparently in Miner’s bag. It’s now in the bag belonging to…grandma? Well, a little old lady, and RoboCop is pretty surprised when he picks her up off of her feet. A little elf then pops out of the bag and it’s that Giggles guy. He aims something at RoboCop that fires oil which lands on his trademarked red visor allowing him to make an escape with his elf buddies.

This doesn’t look like a fair fight.

You think a little oil to the eye is going to stop RoboCop? Hah! He just engages his go-go-gadget wipers and clears that stuff out in a flash! He runs after the elves which number five and manages to corner them in a dead end. It’s rather odd for a mall to feature such a thing, but I’ll allow it. RoboCop is a bit confused at what he’s seeing, but the elves (who are all identical) waste no time in attacking. They take to his ankles with torches and saws and start hacking away while RoboCop…just stands there? I’m getting angry as I watch this thinking RoboCop is about to just crumple into a pile of bolts, but he does start kicking them and tossing them away. They repeatedly smash into the wall and we get another animation error as six elves slam into the wall instead of five. Or, one got up, ran back at RoboCop offscreen, and got tossed a second time. RoboCop seems to think he’s got them, but Giggles here seems to think otherwise as he points out the crowd of onlookers. The group (many of which are reused models from the earlier scene of the cop beatdown and should probably be in jail right now) are all disgusted that RoboCop would attack Giggles like this, and I guess they’re trying to turn the public against RoboCop? The other elves then fall apart as they’re all robots and RoboCop is left holding the last, functional, one.

A lot of these images look pretty weird out of context.

RoboCop was evidently able to extricate himself from that sticky situation as we cut to the laboratory of Dr. Neumeier (Dean Haglund) who is examining the severed head of Giggles the Elf. He’s rather impressed with the tech on display and declares that whoever developed this thing is a genius while Miner thinks they’re a “nutbar.” RoboCop pops out that hand spike of his and connects to the computer system to analyze the head. He finds the security footage from the store there and it’s been edited to scrub out the crimes. Neumeier seems to find this impossible, but then the writer of the episode gets to self-congratulate themselves via Neumeier who sums up the situation with a “Who came up with this?” Sgt. Reed then contacts the group via video chat and he can be seen dodging flying presents as there’s more trouble down at Hunting Dorfs. He needs backup, so RoboCop and Miner depart to assist.

I think I’m supposed to know who this woman is.

As the pair exit the lab, they find a giant gift placed on the stoop just outside. The two seem confused, but Neumeier is psyched as no one ever gives him presents. He drags the heavy item inside as the other two leave. As he sits down to unwrap it he actually hopes aloud that it contains a massive fruit cake because we just had to get a fruit cake mention in here. It does not though and instead contains…a woman?! If you’re thinking something like the classic stripper in the cake bit, you would be mistaken as this woman is very clothed. She’s decked out in holiday attire and appears to be holding a pie. When she bursts out she cries “Newmy!” as the guy falls out of his chair in surprise. These two clearly have a history, but I can’t even tell what her name is. Charlotta?

Most guys are happy to have a horny Christmas woman emerge from a box, but maybe not when they’re homicidal.

After a quick break, we come back to the same scene and Charlotta (I’m reasonably confident that’s her name) is emerging from the remnants of the gift as Neumeier comes to. She asks where RoboCop is as she claims to have something for him, but realizing he’s not there she sets down her pie. Neumeier is apparently so shocked to see her because she’s been in prison for apparently trying to kill Neumeier and the others. They also have some kind of toxic relationship at play because Charlotta seems to like him and she’s also pretty horny after being in jail for what I assume was months. She says she got out for good behavior, but who can be sure? She points out that Neumeier apparently promised to wait for her and vows to make it worth his while. When he mentions the attempted murder, Charlotta responds with an unconvincing, “Oh Newmy! I wouldn’t hurt a fly!” as she strokes his cheek.

Sisters are doing it for themselves!

We’re apparently going to leave those two to their reunion and shift scenes at this point. We’re back at a department store and the place is in chaos. People are fighting, nuns are striking cops, and someone swiped a coat off of a mannequin that looks just like Daria’s friend Jane. Sgt. Reed informs RoboCop and Miner that the place is going crazy because the whole system is down and people can’t use their credit cards. I’ve been in stores when that happens and I can’t say I’ve ever seen a melee break out. The store manager is there to confirm the chaos. When the whole world conspires to keep consumers from consuming the whole thing falls apart. You know, I think I am getting a teeny bit of the original RoboCop‘s vibe in this show after all. And even more so when RoboCop asks who supplied those dolls and the manager confirms it was the same company that installed their security system. When Miner points out how bizarre that is, the manager agrees, but since the dolls were practically free and come with massive profit margins it was a risk worth taking. Spoken like a true capitalist!

Leave Rudolph alone!

Miner directs RoboCop’s attentiont to a store display Rudolph. The world’s most famous reindeer seems intent on watching the two. RoboCop does some sort of analysis thingy and determines the red, glowing, nose is actually a camera. Upon having that out in the open, Rudolph decides to flee. Miner can’t get off a clean shot, so RoboCop has to pursue declaring unenthusiastically that this is his new role: Destroyer of Christmas. I’m thinking we’re about to see these gnarly roller blades he’s got concealed in his feet, but RoboCop instead deploys his grappling hook from his arm to wrap the reindeer up. With the creature subdued, RoboCop is able to hogtie it (deertie?) and shove his fist-spike into an orifice on the creature’s side. The robo-deer doesn’t appear to like this and I feel like RoboCop has some consent issues, and this probably violates a whole bunch of laws too, but who knows what’s been passed in this new fascist state? RoboCop downloads a whole bunch of stuff and poor Rudolph seems rather worse for ware.

This is the part where Charlotta gets all “When Harry Met Sally” on us.

We return to Neumeier’s lab where we find the young scientist backpedaling pleading with Charlotta not to do something. And that something appears to be sex as the woman pursues the clumsy oaf imploring him not to think, but feel. He ends up against a wall and makes a quip about feeling some indigestion brought on by sauerkraut (gross), so his breath must reek. Charlotta tells him not to tease her, then says “You know what I want.” When Neumeier responds with an “I do?” she goes full-blown into fake orgasm mode with a “Yes. Yes! YES!” Before we can have just what she wants confirmed, a light from her box (no, not that one, the box she arrived in you perv) starts blinking and distracts her. She tells Neumeier that what she wants is a snack, maybe some hot cocoa, Lab boy runs off to fetch something for her which allows Charlotta to see what’s going on back in her box. There’s some device that’s basically a big answering machine and when she checks her messages we see a video of RoboCop sharing what he found inside Rudolph with the others. RoboCop has apparently uncovered a signal that will lead them to whoever is behind this prompting Miner to wonder aloud who would be sick enough to do this at Christmas?

I thought it was odd when she asked for a snack after already bringing a pie.

Charlotta, that’s who! She’s understandably pissed and says she knew those two would screw things up for her. Neumeier then returns with two cups of cocoa and Charlotta has to turn off the villainous talk and trade it for her cute voice. She’s aghast at the lack of marshmallows in her cocoa, which may be true, or its a ruse to get Neumeier to leave the room again. With him off looking for the gelatinous desert item, Charlotta pulls out a small vile of gray substance and pours it into Neumeier’s cup. He comes back to announce he’s all out and Charlotta indicates she’s fine with that and encourages him to drink up. A genius like Neumeier should probably see this encouragement for what it is, but he doesn’t and soon collapses into a puddle. Charlotta laughs at him calling him “Nerd-meier!” and then pulls out her pie once more revealing it’s actually a bomb.

These elves are creepy, but I still feel like the two with the guns have the upperhand here.

RoboCop and Miner are shown entering what looks like a warehouse. I assume this is where the Giggles dolls are made. Up on a catwalk is Charlotta and Neumeier who is semi-conscious and bound to a chair. She refers to the pair as a couple of Christmas turkeys in need of stuffing because, remember, she’s still super horny from being in prison. Neumeier sees the two and asks why they’re so tiny which allows RoboCop to tell that he’s been drugged. A bunch of Giggles dolls then surround the two and it’s time for a rumble!

Spoiler alert: she hates Christmas, though maybe not for the reason you would have expected.

Miner reminds Charlotta that this is where the villain speech goes, and the tactic works! Charlotta claims she’s knew to villainy and starts to inform the two of her plans while RoboCop indicates he’s recording the confession. It would seem that in 2030, online shopping has started to die off and this whole scheme was concocted by Charlotta, who is being paid by Big Internet, to make in-store buying a truly wretched experience thus driving people back to the online retailers. RoboCop gets to be the one to ask “Why?” and Charlotta’s response is probably what you’re expecting: she hates Christmas. She hates it because her last name is Tannenbaum and she’s sick of the jokes. She gets to be the one to say the episode’s title and remarks she hates how people will ask her “Can I play with your ornaments?” Is that a boob joke?

Damn, I know it’s a robot, but this is rather brutal. You can even see the fear in its lifeless eyes.

Now that the plan has been been revealed we can get to the violence. Charlotta, I guess, just walks away leaving her minions to attack RoboCop and Miner. They lay waste to the elf robots and these dome-headed robots that look like something out of Lost in Space. If seeing mechanical elf parts thrown around is unsettling, wait until you see RoboCop blast a robot snowman with a flame thrower! And then there’s the reindeer that shoot lasers out of their antlers, which RoboCop destroys with a grenade. It’s Miner who gets to make the remark about being glad her son isn’t here to witness this.

She’s definitely DTF with this guy, but right now she needs a hostage more than a boyfriend.

The robots have been dealt with, so now it’s just Charlotta. She apparently does care about Neumeier as she unties him and carries him to the roof. Or, she just needs a hostage. The cops pursue her as Neumeier comes to. Charlotta may like him, or may not, but she’s willing to dangle him over the edge of the roof in order to keep RoboCop and Miner at bay. Neumeier, not wanting to end up like a bowl of cranberry sauce, tries reasoning with Charlotta. He tells her that he understands what it’s like to be a super genius and have people not “get” you. He says he meant it when he told her that he’d wait for her, and even uses the “L” word. Charlotta starts sobbing and seems to be touched, but when Neumeier suggests she let him go she hardens to tell him that isn’t happening. Then, the kitchen robot from the very beginning of the episode emerges and the thing is huge! I did not get a sense for its scale at the time, but it’s like a spaceship. Charlotta tackles Neumeier into it, and the robot flies away.

I have to say I did not see this coming.

So that’s it? The bad girl gets away and is probably getting some action right now while RoboCop and Miner are forced to look on. Hah, of course not! RoboCop scans the skies and finds the Santa balloon from earlier and declares that they’re hitching a ride! Inside the kitchen robot, a delighted Charlotta is busy making plans for she and her beloved. They’re going to move to the suburbs, build a dog, and clone some kids. Neumeier doesn’t seem unhappy about this. They’re interrupted by a banging from above, and it’s the giant Santa balloon. This thing is also way bigger than I initially thought as RoboCop and Miner are standing on the sleigh’s bench. RoboCop is probably the size of one of of Santa’s fingers. He’s got his jack-in device inserted and he’s controlling the balloon and making it basically bounce off the top of Charlotta’s. She vows not to go down without a fight, and the hatchet arms of her ride start spinning. RoboCop demonstrates that he has a finger laser and he finger bangs the right arm off of the robot balloon, but isn’t able to do the same to the left before it penetrates the Santa balloon and the two begin to do as Charlotta said: go down.

I feel like these two should get a few minutes alone in a holding cell.

Back at Hunting Dorfs, the Giggles dolls are being marched away in handcuffs. Apparently robots have rights? How progressive! Sgt. Reed is standing by with the store manager who indicates he can’t take anymore this Christmas, his nerves are shot. Reed gets to say the fateful line of “It’s over,” when it most certainly is not. The two balloons come crashing through the glass ceiling creating an awful mess. Miner is the first to emerge from the wreckage completely unscathed and apologetic for what just happened to the man’s store. Reed asks where’s Murphy, and that’s RoboCop’s cue to emerge “Upholding the loving spirit of the holiday season.” That’s because Neumeier and Charlotta are basically seated on his palm in a passionate embrace. He sets the pair down and Charlotta seeks to confirm if her beloved will wait for her again. Neumeier just says he’ll email her every day and then goes in for a kiss. We’re denied actually seeing it as Miner tells RoboCop she needs to get out of there before she loses her lunch. RoboCop suggests she needs to get into the holiday spirit as the two walk out and she retorts with a “Don’t push it.” As they exit the building, the few items not completely destroyed in their wake fall apart and we roll credits.

An odd shot to end the episode on. I guess they have no interest in assisting with the cleanup.

That was…not bad? The opening for the episode made the show look rather silly and goofy, but once it got going there was way more RoboCop to be found than I ever expected. Consumers going nuts because they can’t buy stuff is a rather damning indictment of the holiday shopping season. A horned-up villain who wants to destroy Christmas because her name lends itself well to boob jokes? Impressively absurd. And the episode even seemed to make a point that the cops left the world in a worse state after catching the bad guy with that final shot of the crumbling store. The show was rated Y-7, but there was quite a bit of suggestive dialogue between Charlotta and Neumeier that would be way over a sever-year-old’s head and the action scenes make liberal use of the fact that the enemies are mostly mechanical. What other kid’s show is going to have its hero violate Rudolph and incinerate Frosty? That’s Robot Chicken type stuff, not Saturday morning.

The animation was a mixed bag. It was choppy and probably done on the cheap while the characters had fairly intricate designs and a semi-realistic approach to the art style. In that, it’s not unlike Lewald’s other show, X-Men, which was guilty of the same. The voice cast was pretty good, though this is one of those shows that doesn’t list out the roles of who does what. I know who the main cast is, but the secondary characters are a mystery. I think Charlotta was voiced by Elizabeth Carol Savenkoff as she’s the only other female listed, but the rest are unknown to me.

Santa Claus just toppling consumerism here, even though he’s responsible for a large portion of it.

Christmas-wise, we get plenty of background stuff. I’m glad there was no kid character to play to outside of the one girl upset with RoboCop for beating the shit out of Giggles. There was a subtle B plot about RoboCop being unhappy about taking down these Christmas themed bad guys like it was a burden of some kind, but it wasn’t really played up. There were some jokes written into the dialogue, but nothing particularly humorous. Instead the humor is situational and even a touch dark since I think we’re supposed to laugh at some of the violence inflicted upon Christmas. I suppose this was a bit of a tough episode to just jump into as my first one since there was obviously a history with Charlotta, but I didn’t find it to be much of a barrier.

If you enjoy blasting Christmas symbolism with a gun then this just may be the thing for you.

Is this episode of RoboCop: Alpha Commando getting a recommend from me this holiday season? I guess so. There was enough of a satirical element at play that I think it’s worth a look. Plus, it’s easy to find streaming for free so it’s not like it’s going to cost you anything. I am left a bit curious about the show as a whole where as before I was indifferent. I’ve always felt there’s only one good RoboCop anything, the first film, and the rest was trash, but maybe there is at least one exception to be made.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 21 – A Muppet Family Christmas

This year we’re celebrating two things at The Christmas Spot. Well, 3 things if you count Christmas by itself, which I suppose you should. Every fifth day, we’re celebrating the best of the best which is why yesterday was A Charlie Brown Christmas. If you read the feature on December 1st for this year, then…

Dec. 21 – Count Duckula – “A Christmas Quacker”

In the 1980s, Nickelodeon didn’t have a lot of animated content. That’s probably surprising for today’s adolescents, but that’s how the network was in the old days. That was due in large part to the network first prioritizing educational content, and then wanting to make sure whatever it aired couldn’t be found on another channel.…

Dec. 21 – Buzz Lightyear of Star Command – “Holiday Time”

When Pixar set out to create competing, fictional, toys in its debut film Toy Story it settled on cowboys and space rangers. The thought being that once upon a time cowboys were the most popular fantasy toy among boys, but were soon replaced by fantastic space voyagers once real-life space travel became possible. In order…


Dec. 20 – Futurama – “Xmas Story”

Original air date December 19, 1999

Welcome, to the world of tomorrow! Today! We’re looking forward while we look back on one of the best animated Christmas episodes of all time – Futurama‘s “Xmas Story.” Have you ever wondered what Christmas could be like in the 31st century? Well, now you don’t have to. Turns out, it’s pretty bad, but the holiday can still bring people together. They just huddle together in fear rather than comfort and joy. No matter, this is but one possible future and it’s not like anyone reading this is going to be around in the year 3000 anyway so don’t sweat it.

The Fox Broadcasting Company was a fledgling network in the early 90s. Two things are credited, primarily, with turning things around for Fox: Football and The Simpsons. Fox got into the animated sitcom market, one that was pretty barren in 1989, with Matt Groening’s The Simpsons. We talked about that show already this year just 10 days ago so there’s probably no need to rehash that. To sum it up though, Fox took a chance on the show and it paid off big time. In hindsight, it’s surprising that it would take Fox another decade after the premiere of that show to premiere another Matt Groening animated sitcom: Futurama. Along the way, there were some attempts at Simpsons spin-offs that went no where and I don’t think any even got very far along. Still, it’s pretty incredible that Fox wouldn’t turn to Groening for another show as it struggled to pair The Simpsons with other content. Eventually, the network would find another hit with Mike Judge’s King of the Hill and that apparently gave the network more confidence in the genre. Now, it seems they’ll greenlight anything for their “Animation Domination” block of content on Sunday night and sometimes a show sticks. Sometimes it has to get cancelled first, as it were with Family Guy, but these days that block is essentially The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, and whatever else Fox is taking a swing with.

Let’s celebrate the holidays with the whole gang! And some robots we’ve never seen before.

Futurama was given the greenlight around the same time as Family Guy. Unfortunately for it, Fox would change leadership at the network during development and the new regime was much higher on Family Guy than Futurama, probably for cost reasons, so it got the coveted post Super Bowl premiere while Futurama had to settle for the less prestigious March 28, 1999. The network would air 9 episodes that spring while holding the rest of Season One until the fall where it could air as part of the broadcast Season Two. Included in that second season was “Xmas Story,” an episode supposedly deemed a bit controversial at the network. For some reason, network heads were uncomfortable with a Christmas episode about a murderous, robot, Santa. The trepidation at Fox had little impact on this episode, but when Robot Santa returned in a sequel episode it would be delayed by about a year until the show was in a later timeslot.

This particular episode was originally conceived by Groening and series co-creator David X. Cohen around the same time as the pilot. I suppose when crafting a world set one thousand years in the future one would naturally wonder what Christmas might look like. It’s actually rather nice they didn’t just decide to go all-in on some sort of super commercialism as the plot. I feel like we have enough satire directed at that aspect of the holiday. A murderous Santa? That’s fresh enough. While we do have horror movies featuring killer Santas, this one is different in that it makes Santa a robot and has a plausible introduction for the character. And that he’s saved until the final act also helps to build suspense. This is also one of those early episodes of the show where it can utilize the time-displaced protagonist, Philip J. Fry (Billy West), as an audience surrogate in giving us a look at this futuristic yuletide celebration.

Fresh Hare, the closest Christmas came to Bugs Bunny for an entire generation.

The episode begins with the usual intro and music. The tag-line is “Based on a true story,” and the cartoon snippet at the end of the opening credits is one of the few Bugs Bunny cartoons in the public domain, Fresh Hare, which contains an image of a Christmas tree and Elmer with snow all over his head making him resemble Santa Claus. I had that cartoon on VHS when I was a kid along with a handful of other public domain toons. It has an abrupt ending with Bugs Bunny before a firing squad and I would learn years later that’s because it goes into a blackface gag which had been cut from my copy. And that is likely why it’s in the public domain now. Aside from that, it’s actually a pretty funny cartoon directed by Friz Freleng.

I’m surprised it took them until Season Two to get Conan on.

The cartoon opens on an idyllic lodge in the snowy mountains. The Planet Express crew is apparently going skiing and it will be Fry’s first experience of such in the year 3000. The skiing will have to wait though as the crew is all in attendance watching comedian Conan O’Brien (voiced by himself) performing stand-up. And since it is the year 3000, he’s just a head in a jar and the sight gag here is his head is so big that his hair extends beyond the jar. He makes a reference to his long-time band leader, Max Weinberg, but he’s just a skull in a jar. Apparently someone forgot to feed him. They eat like fish which is revealed in another episode.

Who knew the robot desired freckles?

Conan goes into his routine which begins with a Y2K joke. Bender (John DiMaggio), in the role of the heckler, yells out they fixed that problem a thousand years ago. O’Brien, slightly exasperated already, urges Bender to bare with him. His next setup has him recite “So, I was walking into work,” and Bender shouts out, “I doubt it!” Conan then tries to rip into Bender by saying that he may have lost his freakishly long legs, but he has something Bender never will – a soul! This doesn’t phase the robot in the least, but when he follows it up with, “And freckles!” Bender begins to weep. Get used to these sort of setups. Also, how am I going to get through this write-up without just typing out all of the jokes? This show is packed with so many and there are so many good ones contained in this episode.

The Professor is an incredible skier, provided he’s unconscious.

Conan announces he’s out of material and he’s taken away. Before he departs, he encourages everyone to enjoy their breakfast so Conan has apparently been reduced to breakfast entertainment. Considering how short and dated his set was, that seems appropriate. With Conan’s moldy old antics over, it’s time for some skiing! It looks pretty similar to skiing in the 21st century only the chair lift features hover chairs and no one uses actual ski poles. They’re basically just handles that impart balance somehow. Fry notes how beautiful the snow looks and thanks the lord that global warming never occurred. Leela (Katey Sagal) tells him that it actually did, but nuclear winter cancelled it out. When the two exit the chair lift they ski up to Bender, Fry says “Hi,” and Bender (who is wearing a funny, jester-like, hat) snaps at him, “Enough of your mindless chatter!” On another chairlift, Hermes (Phil LaMarr) and Dr. Zoidberg (West) are stuck and as Zoidberg applies another glove to his mouth appendages the two take notice of Professor Farnsworth (West) who is skiing like an Olympian. We then cut to a close-up of the Professor to find out he’s actually asleep standing up as he makes a flurry of fantastic moves.

I hope that in a thousand years they found a cure for tree to the groin.

Fry and Leela are skiing together and Fry begins to panic as they approach some thickly settled trees. Leela tells him to relax and then commands, “Trees down.” A robotic voice(West) repeats the command and the trees are retracted into the ground. Foolishly, Fry asks what they do when they want the “Trees up,” which predictably causes them to re-emerge from the ground slamming into Fry’s crotch. As he’s stuck in a tree, he meekly commands “Trees down,” and gets slammed into the snow. I should point out, these trees appear to be some sort of pine tree, which is important for later. With Fry laying helpless in the snow, Bender skis by and taunts him with a “Looking good, meatball!”

What a lovely setting for a Christmas special, surely nothing will come along and spoil this image.

As Bender has a laugh at his quip, a fellow skier warns him that he’s heading off the trail. Bender, who is in quite a mean mode so far this episode, just tells the guy to lick his frozen, metal, ass in response. He is immediately punished for his hubris as he plunges off of a cliff. We see him fall from behind, but then it cuts to a frozen pond where some kids are skating listlessly. A non-copywrite infringing song that sounds vaguely like “Christmas Time is Here” from A Charlie Brown Christmas plays and the image lingers just long enough to make us wonder if this is a setup going no where. It’s not, as Bender comes flying through the scene and crashes through the ice taking the children with him. According to the commentary, none survived.

Hermes is apparently not much of a bobsledder.

Zoidberg is shown skiing and he has an unusual way of going about it. Since he’s some sort of crab monster, he puts both feet in one ski and his claws in another and goes down the hill sideways. It’s a cute visual. He stops abruptly though when he comes upon the bobsled track and finds Hermes, the Jamaican accountant of Planet Express, preparing to race down the ice sled. He laughs at the sight, but Hermes is quick to counter that a thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders. Fry is in attendance and he confirms this fact, but then adds “They came in last at the Olympics and then retired to promote alcohol.” This is a pretty consistent setup for a Futurama joke as one would expect Hermes to have a negative reaction to Fry’s statement, but this show’s writing staff loves misdirection so he instead responds with, “A true inspiration to the children.” The countdown sequence then finishes and the gate opens and rather than go forward, Hermes just slowly tips over until he’s upside down. He calls out for some help and Zoidberg just pushes him down the course upside down. He has a laugh at the misfortune of his co-worker (an uncharacteristic turn for Zoidberg, but the writers are still still feeling him out), but like we just saw with Bender, he gets his comeuppance almost immediately as he slips and falls down the course. Fry has a laugh at Zoidberg’s expense, and then decides “What the Hell?” and jumps down the course after him. We hear him crash into something at the end, but are deprived the visual.

I love the Professor’s prescription sunglasses.

At the lodge, we find Amy (Lauren Tom) getting cozy with someone who busted their leg skiing. He(DiMaggio) starts to detail what happened, but then Amy immediately loses interest as she’s spied someone who is even more injured (this is apparently a kink for her). It’s some guy in a full body cast and she pounces on him and suggestively says, “Hello there.” The Professor then comes skiing in still asleep, but he wakes up and is perplexed to find a medal draped around his neck. He finds the rest of the crew sitting around a roaring fire in the lodge and all appear to be damaged to some degree except Leela. Bender remarks there’s nothing like a warm fire and a Super Soaker full of cognac. He pumps it and then blasts it into his mouth. Fry says it really puts one in the Christmas mood and everyone gets confused by his statement. When Fry clarifies what he’s talking about, he does so by trying to spell Christmas, but he spells it as “X M A S.” This alerts everyone that he means Xmas, which they pronounce as X-Mas, and note that Fry must be using an archaic pronunciation like when he says “Ask” instead of “Axe” which sets off a running joke the rest of the series must abide by.

There, there, Fry. Everything is going to be okay.

Fry doesn’t seem bothered by the change in pronunciation, but he is bummed that this will be his first Xmas away from home. Leela then seeks permission to “axe” him if it would make him feel better if they went and cut down an Xmas tree. This causes Fry to perk right up, but we do a hard cut to him being disappointed when he finds out that their idea of an old-fashioned Xmas tree is a palm tree. When he points out that an Xmas tree is supposed to be some kind of pine tree, the Professor tells him that the pine tree is extinct, “Gone the way of the poodle and your primitive notions of modesty.” He then lets his fur coat drop to the ground revealing he’s completely naked underneath, “Ah, brisk!” Fry then starts to fret that everything has changed, and apparently not for the better, but the Professor is there to soothe him still naked. I love that Fry is not phased in the least by the casual nudity. Leela argues that Fry is being ridiculous as she holds an axe over her head to line up a strike, only for another patented Futurama misdirection joke to reveal itself as a laser shoots from from the axe handle and fells the tree unnaturally. And this is the part where I remind you the characters were just skiing amongst a forest of crotch-hunting pine trees.

You don’t see Bender cuddling with Nibbler too often. That’s the magic of Xmas!

The Planet Express ship cuts into view with the palm tree tied down to the roof as an instrumental of “Joy to the World” chimes in the background. The ship enters the Planet Express building and we soon find the dwellers inside decorating for Xmas. A calendar on the wall shows that it’s December 24th. Zoidberg is opening a box, Fry and Leela are by the fireplace looking miserable, and the Professor and Amy are wrapping lights on the tree. Adorably, Bender is in a rocking chair with Nibbler (Frank Welker) on his lap rocking back and forth and singing “Oh Xmas Tree” while Nibbler adds his own little inflections. Fry laments all of the things he is now missing, like his mom getting a goose for goose burgers and his dad whipping up his famous eggnog which was just bourbon and ice cubes. In the background, Amy is struggling with a jet pack which has already caused her to hit her head on the ceiling while trying to place the star on the tree and then sends her careening into the wall.

Thankfully, the sweet flower of the office has returned.

Fry suggests they stop talking about Xmas, which is the cue for Hermes to come barging in shouting “Xmas cards are here! Xmas!” He hands them out which includes a mighty hall for Bender. When he gets to the last of them he sets Leela up for her cards, but it’s actually himself he is referring to as the sweet flower of the office. Leela is upset, but Fry doesn’t notice and instead asks her for a little sympathy which causes her to cry and run off. When Fry asks what upset her, Amy reminds him that she’s an orphan with the Professor adding she’s also the only known member of her species which must make her the loneliest person in the galaxy. Bender then comes over to try and cheer Fry up, but as he does a little dance Fry starts sobbing causing Bender to ponder if he needs to work on his act.

Just like a classic episode of The Simpsons, the TV will tell us where the plot goes.

We cut to Fry seated on the couch all hunched over and sad. He declares he feels like a rat for sitting around whining like a pig while Leela was as lonely as a frog. He then adds he could kick himself, but Amy says she’ll do it for him and does. The Professor scolds him for being blind to Leela’s plight, which just cuts to Hermes telling him that Fry is “over there.” Bender is unphased though as he relaxes in a chair drinking booze and remarks how Xmas Eve is just another pointless day where he accomplishes nothing! Clearly, he needs his own plot then which is why we’re interrupted by a news broadcast. It’s hosted by Linda (Tress MacNeille) and the alien Morbo (Maurice LaMarche), the usual anchors for these broadcasts. Linda sets up her story by noting that Xmas is the time of year where we acknowledge the suffering of others, which is just Morbo’s cue to add “Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering – muahahaha!” That’s his schtick.

First, Bender is snuggling with the office pet and now he’s off to do some charity work? This is too much!

Linda segues into a story about homeless robots who lack the necessary alcohol needed to power their circuits. She’s at a shelter which is basically a soup kitchen, but one that deals alcohol instead. She gestures to the scene and rhetorically asks, “Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies, and there would have to be a lot of them!” Bender turns off the TV and heads for the door. Apparently, our cold-hearted mechanical man has found the Xmas spirit for he tells the others that he’s going to volunteer at the shelter. They’re all skeptical and Hermes asks when has he ever done anything charitable? Bender counters there was that time he gave blood and when Fry asks, “Whose blood?” he comes back with “Some guy’s.” With Bender gone, Fry resumes his sulking so Zoidberg suggests he get down on his claws and do the apology dance to make it up to Leela. Fry pays attention to the demonstration miming the movements, then gets the idea in his head that he can just buy her an Xmas present. As he heads for the door the others caution him to be back before sunset. Fry indicates he likes to haggle, so he isn’t making any promises, which alerts the others that Fry doesn’t know about Santa Claus! Fry confirms that he does with a knowing wink, but the Professor is here to fill him in: In 2801 the Friendly Robot Company built a robotic Santa to distribute presents, but a programming error caused Santa to have too high of standards so everyone is on his Naughty List. Amy tells Fry if he gets caught that Santa will kill him while Professor Farnsworth adds “Nice knowing you!”

That’s better.

Time to check-in on Bender who has arrived at the liquor kitchen, only he’s not there to volunteer, but to score free booze. He’s dirtied himself up and put on a knit cap and some torn gloves and tells a volunteer he’s one of those lazy, homeless, robots he’s been hearing about and asks where the free booze is? The guy gestures in the proper direction and Bender is in. We then check in on Fry who is at the mall in search of a gift. He’s at a counter and explains his situation to the clerk, who suggests a nice, traditional, Xmas gift: a surface-to-Santa rocket launcher outfitted with jolly-seeking missiles. Fry laughs at the suggestion which causes one of the missiles to arm itself and point in his direction prompting a word of caution from the clerk.

Tinny Tim, the most pathetic robot you’re likely to see.

At the shelter, Bender is downing another bowl of booze and seems quite satisfied. He then tells the robot next to him who is modeled after an old hobo that someone is trying to steal his handkerchief full of crap. The robot turns to make sure his bindle is still there allowing Bender to steal his booze. A small, pathetic, robot approaches the counter. He’s wearing a flat cap and has a crutch for an arm. This is Tinny Tim (MacNeille), though right now he’s doing Oliver Twist as he politely asks for a bowl of booze, only to find out it’s all gone. As he sadly hobbles away, Bender says to himself, “My God, that poor kid,” and then laughs. Misdirection!

Decisions, decisions.

We are then whisked away to Joe’s Ark Pet Store, Formerly Noah’s Ark Shoe Store, where Fry is still in search of a gift for Leela. He pleads with the clerk as this is his last shot at finding the perfect gift. Following that is a series of gags where Fry is looking at some weird, futuristic, version of a pet and deciding it’s not good enough. Among them is an eight-legged dachshund and Bongo, the one-eared rabbit-like creature from Groening’s Life in Hell. Dissatisfied with his options, Fry asks the clerk what the best pet in the shop is and he points to the electric snail as his favorite pet. Fry declares it a stupid animal and calls the clerk stupid for suggesting it. He’s been hanging out with Bender too long. The clerk is understandably eager to get out of there before sundown and urges Fry to make a choice. Fry then zeroes in on a parrot that apparently costs 500 bucks. He remarks it’s a damn good parrot, but then spies stink lizards which are a buck each. He asks the clerk what women prefer: parrots or swarms of lizards? He’s instead urged to make a choice because the shop is closing setting up a gag where Fry goes back and forth agonizing over his decision as he basically narrates his thought process: “Okay, okay, I’ll take the 500 lizards. No! Wait! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! Yes! The parrot!” Every time he said “Yes” he inches closer to the lizards, a true misdirection if ever there was one.

Well, that took a turn rather quickly.

With that decision made, Fry leaves with his parrot satisfied that Leela will like it. The parrot (Welker) squawks in response and Fry cheerfully remarks how it’s quite the talker. It squawks again and Fry gets angry yelling “Shut the hell up!” The parrot is able to bite his nose through the cage causing Fry to drop it. When it hits the ground it breaks open and the parrot flies off. Fry raises the cage over his head and shouts “I know where you live!” Back at the Planet Express headquarters, Amy is wrapping gifts with Zoidberg as Nibbler bounces around and Hermes and the Professor play chess. Naked. There’s even a nice opening in the chair Hermes is seated in so we can see his butt crack. Leela enters looking for Fry, only to find out that he left to go get her a present. She’s alarmed given the hour and the others act like they have no idea why, but it’s so they can setup a joke for Leela to say “I’m telling you why – Santa Claus is coming to town!”

This is just a tremendous visual gag.

We find Fry at the base of a very tall building with a giant digital clock that reads 4:24 on the front of it. The parrot has apparently found a perch atop it and Fry is going after him. He states, “All right bird, you thought you could beat me in a game of wits, but you just met your equal.” At least he isn’t modest. Fry emerges at the top of the building where the parrot is perched atop the big clock face. There isn’t much room so Fry inches out with his back against the wall. He scoots along, and as he does so does the parrot until it runs out of real estate. Fry thinks he has the bird cornered, but it just does what birds do – it flies. In trying to grab it, Fry loses his balance. He appears to regain it for a second, but then abruptly falls. He’s able to grab onto the number 2 of the clock face, but he’s at the end of it and the number represents seconds that are elapsing. It’s apparently a tangible digital clock that changes to 3, but when it changes to a 4 the top disappears and Fry falls again grabbing onto the middle “bar” of the digital number. He’s safe only until it becomes a 7, then there are no more bars to grab onto.

Looks like everything is going to be just fine.

Lucky for Fry, Leela is there to grab him! Fry is so happy to see her that he declares he’s going to buy her so many lizards! Leela smiles and we cut to the pair walking out of the building. They have a heart-to-heart where Fry apologizes for ignoring her feelings and only focusing on himself. Leela accepts and suggests that at least this Xmas they can be lonely together. The two hold hands and this is probably the second big advancement of their romantic subplot following “A Flight to Remember.” As the two wish each other a “Merry Xmas,” they’re interrupted by a loud banging sound. They turn around and Fry is immediately excited to see Santa Claus! The robot gives a jolly “Ho Ho Ho,” but as it does, it’s U-shaped eyes rotate upside down into a frown as we head into an act break.

Oh, right, we forgot about the killer Santa.

After the break, Fry and Leela do not look at all happy to see the murderous robot as it approaches. Santa (John Goodman) informs the two that they have both been very naughty this year for neglecting each other’s feelings. When they tell Santa that they made up, he counters by asking if either of them had bothered to think about the feelings of their co-worker, Dr. Zoidberg? Fry quickly responds, “No! I swear!” in an early indication of how Zoidberg is to be treated going forward. Santa then tells the two he has something very special for them in his sack. As he reaches in, there’s a quick cut to Fry’s face and he’s smiling like he thinks Santa has a present for him, but he just pulls out a laser tommy gun and starts firing madly!

Clearly, Xmas is just the time of year where people make it easy for Bender to do crimes.

Fry and Leela are forced to run for their lives and rather than watch that we cut to Bender and some homeless robots singing Xmas carols outside an old lady’s (MacNeille) home. We get a piece of the future’s version of “Here Comes Santa Claus” which strikes a very different tone from the present, “So lock the door and hit the floor ’cause Santa Claus comes tonight.” The old lady applauds the group, which includes Tinny Tim, the robot with the bindle, and another, then tells them to go away. Bender stops her by suggesting it’s customary to invite carolers in for a traditional glass of hard cider. She surprisingly agrees and the gang heads in. The door closes and the camera stays outside the townhouse as we can hear them guzzling the stuff down and the old lady tell them that’s enough. The sound of empty bottles being discarded follows along with a command from Bender to get her purse. Suddenly, this is more like A Clockwork Orange than any Christmas special I know.

So did he have the spiked pom pom on his hat before or after he turned evil?

The scene shifts abruptly to Fry and Leela running towards the camera as Santa flies behind them. His sleigh is being pulled by two robotic reindeer as apparently eight weren’t needed. It does speak to humanity’s efficiency that in a thousand years they were able to devise a sleigh only in need of two reindeer to power it. As Santa continues to fire away at the two, Fry begs for their lives and promises to set out milk and cookies for the robot. Santa pauses, but only to remark how shocked he is that they would try to bribe him. That’s just another naughty deed and Santa vows to shove coal so far up their “stockings” that they’ll start coughing up diamonds! In the 90s, we were very fond of jokes that involved something going up the rectum and resulting in something hilarious occurring at the mouth region.

Sorry kids, this is no time for romance!

Santa tosses a grenade in Fry and Leela’s direction which is shaped like a traditional Christmas ornament. The two avoid it by ducking into an entryway to a building, but as Santa circles and prepares to come straight at them, they also realize they have no where left to run. As the two say their goodbyes to each other, Fry notices they’re standing under the mistletoe. The two lean in for a kiss, but the mood is disrupted by Santa declaring that their mistletoe is no match for his T.O.W. missile! He pulls out a massive rocket launcher and fires away, but as the missile heads right for the screaming Fry and Leela the parrot happens to fly by. It ends up taking one for the pair and as the feathers rain down in front of them Fry tells Leela her Xmas present may require some assembly.

I applaud Santa’s commitment to keeping some things old fashioned.

We jump back to Bender and his crew following their heist. Bender leads the group in his own version of the “Twelve Days of Christmas” which goes: “On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady, four family photos – three jars of pennies – two former husbands – and a slipper on a shoe tree!” Each member of the gang sings their own line and the former husbands are urns. It’s pretty clever. Tinny Tim then spies Fry and Leela running in their direction and points them out as potential next victims, but Bender tells the gang he knows them – they got nothing. Santa is close behind the two and when he spies Bender he’s got some words to share. It would seem Bender is very high on Santa’s Naughty List, and when he tells Bender this he tries to finger the kid. Santa is so appalled that Bender would frame an orphan for his misdeeds that he feels compelled to update his list. Despite the fact that he can perform 50 mega-checks per second of his list, updating it is rather time consuming and as Santa does so the others run away.

“Finally, I look as pretty as I feel!”

At Planet Express HQ, the decorations are all in place and the clothes are back on. Hermes, Zoidberg, Amy, and Professor Farnsworth are seated all wearing Santa hats as the gift exchange begins. Zoidberg gifts Amy a set of combs, which is ironic because Amy sold all of her hair to buy a set of combs for Hermes. He too sold his hair to buy a set of combs for…Zoidberg? The bald crustacean accepts the gift and announces it will go splendid with his new hair! He takes his hat off and one side of his head features the hair of Amy and the other the hair of Hermes. No one apparently got the Professor anything, but he’s their boss so why should they? This obvious Gift of the Magi parody is very Futurama in that it sets up the joke, then goes beyond it in a way the audience should not have expected.

He’s on the roof!

The screaming of Fry, Leela, Bender, and the robot hobos puts an end to the lovely atmosphere in the room. The others see the crew from the window as they try to outrun Santa. The Professor notes they’ll be killed on their doorstep – with no trash pickup until January third. The door opens behind him and the group comes running in. They scramble to try and close the fireplace with this giant gear-like contraption, but it’s only Fry and Leela who try to push it while Bender urges them to use teamwork. Santa sticks a candy cane in front of it just before it locks into place and effortlessly forces himself inside along with his two reindeer minions.

Looks like it’s all over for this crew.

Santa menacingly descends from the ceiling and announces to the group before him that they’ve all been very naughty, very naughty indeed! Except Dr. Zoidberg who Santa gifts with a pogo stick. As the crab bounces merrily, Santa resumes his threats by indicating he’ll tare their skin off like wrapping paper and deck the halls with their guts – not his most clever threats. Bender gets an idea and tells everyone gathered that if they don’t believe in Santa then he can’t hurt them! Santa smacks him upside the head with his sack forcing Bender to cry out “Oh, God, the pain!”

This episode could have also been called “How Zoidberg Saved Xmas.”

Santa then commences with his punishment as he starts to laugh. Leela warns his belly is shaking like a bowl full of nitroglycerine while Amy and Fry point out Rudolph’s blinking nose. They’re clearly going to explode which will likely kill everyone in the process. When all hope is lost, the only one on the Nice List springs into action – literally! Bouncing on his pogo stick, Zoidberg snips one of the strings of lights which swings down and contacts Santa electrocuting him in the process. As he fries, Leela jump-kicks him back into his sleigh while Fry, Amy, Hermes, and the Professor (who is dangling off the tree and not really helping) carry the Xmas tree like a battering ram and slam Santa and the reindeer into the fireplace. The robots close the barrier and an explosion goes off behind it that rockets Santa and his reindeer into the sky leaving everyone else safe at last.

Oof, that’s an unfortunate sight.

With that out of the way, it’s time to serve Xmas dinner! The robots have stayed for dinner (and the wife of Hermes, LaBarbara, is suddenly present but not their son, Dwight) as Bender brings out a platter which contains…the charred remains of Leela’s dead parrot. Fry asks Bender where he got the bird and he says he got it where he gets all of the food he serves them – lying in the street. He starts carving the bird, which no one appears interested in eating, and puts a toenail on Tinny Tim’s plate. Nibbler then puts everyone out of their misery by eating the rest and then snatches the toenail from Tinny Tim’s plate. Bender is bummed, which prompts Fry to say the food isn’t important, but before he can continue Tinny Tim sadly moans to himself that he’s so hungry. Fry continues by saying despite being surrounded by robots, monsters, and old people, he’s happy to be among them all at Xmas. Everyone seems to share the same sentiment and the Professor announces that it’s time to shut up and sing!

Merry Xmas, everyone!

The whole gang gathers at the piano where Hermes leads them in a traditional Xmas song. Here we get a larger sample of this universe’s “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” which goes: He knows when you are sleeping(Amy). He knows when you’re on the can(Farnsworth). He’ll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan(Leela)! Oh, you better not breath, you better not move(Hermes). You’re better off dead I’m telling you, dude(Bender). Santa Claus is gunning you down(Fry)!” Professor Farnsworth then steps into frame to announce “Merry Xmas!” as he disrobes into his birthday suit and takes his place beside his employees.

We can’t forget the moon shot. Too bad the credits are over it.

The camera zooms out through the window and pans up to the sky. We can see the skyscraper Fry dangled from earlier which now reads 8:57, which in the show’s original broadcast coincided with the actual time of day it would have been. Santa then comes flying by with a threat, he’ll be back when we least expect it – next Xmas! He laughs his evil laugh and flies into the sky and we end this one on a proper moon shot. Bravo, Futurama, bravo!

And that is the story of what Christmas Xmas is like in the year 3000. As an episode of Futurama, it follows the familiar template of Fry getting introduced to something about the future that’s changed from the past. There’s quite a few of these events in the first seasons of the show and this is one of the better ones. I tried not to keep pointing it out, but I love all of the misdirection in this one. So many jokes are just: here is the premise, here is your logical conclusion, but oh wait, that’s not the real conclusion! It’s the type of humor that can fall flat after repeat viewings because the surprises are no longer a surprise. In spite of that, this episode of Futurama remains timeless and it’s so timeless that I consider it one of the best Christmas Xmas specials ever aired.

Poor parrot, we hardly knew ye.

In terms of production, there is nothing special about this episode compared with a normal episode of the show. It looks fantastic, because pretty much all of Futurama from this era looked amazing, but did have the added benefit of being the first time the show really got to play with snow. The early scenes at the lodge look terrific even if there isn’t a ton of creativity on display as far as how a ski lodge in the year 3000 might look. The skyscraper with the giant digital clock is a terrific set piece and an even better gag when it turns out it actually has a physical form that Fry can interact with. And even though he didn’t last long, the parrot was pretty amusing. Poor, little, birdy.

I don’t think of this one as crass as some other Xmas specials, and then I remember the drowning children.

As an Xmas special, this one is surprisingly by the numbers for the first two acts. Two people are coping with the holiday blues brought on by loneliness and the holiday brings them together. It just brings them together in fear because Santa Claus is now homicidal. Fry and Leela nearly share a kiss, which wouldn’t have been their first since they kiss in “A Flight to Remember.” There, their kiss was one of deception and not romance so this one would have landed differently had it been allowed to take place. The show would play up the “will they won’t they” angle for many episodes to come and would eventually pair the two up. The Santa angle is present mostly for shock value, but it’s also entertaining. There are some good one-liners to be found that take a popular Xmas saying and turn it around, though it is the one aspect of the episode that does seem to get weaker as it goes along. Though it does turn things around with that humorous parody of “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” that basically takes us out.

In closing, this Xmas episode of Futurama has heart, but it’s also more funny and subversive than anything. I don’t think it has any real commentary to make on the holiday itself, but that’s fine as there’s plenty of space to do that elsewhere. This one just wants to present a ludicrous take on the holiday and give the viewer something to laugh at. If you want a funny Xmas special that doesn’t feature the crudeness of say South Park or American Dad! then this one should more than fit the bill. I absolutely love it, along with its sequel episode, and I think you will too.

Oh, and who could forget the casual nudity?

If you would like to watch Futurama‘s “Xmas Story,” then the easiest way in the US is via Hulu where the show presently resides. I think the show still airs on television as well where this episode will likely air. If you’re outside the US, then it can be found on Disney+. The best way to watch it though is to simply buy all of Season Two on physical media that way yo can enjoy it, and the rest of Season Two, whenever you want.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 20 – A Charlie Brown Christmas

Let’s continue our look at the best of the best in the field of Christmas specials with perhaps the most quoted, parodied, and maybe even beloved special of all time: A Charlie Brown Christmas. This is the special that shouldn’t exist. It’s one if you are able to separate your nostalgia for the special itself…

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Dec. 20 – Toy Tinkers

We’re rounding the corner to Christmas. With just five days left until the big day, that means we have time for just five more specials after this one! And since we’ve hit another multiple of five, it’s time to do another retro-lookback (or whatever I’m calling these things) at an all-time classic: Toy Tinkers. Toy…

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Dec. 20 – Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas

Once upon a time, Hanna-Barbera ruled the cartoon television universe. The company was one of the first to prioritize television over film when it came to cartoons, and it was a strategy that worked quite well. Come the 80s, cartoons were a Saturday morning staple and were taking over the weekday afternoon as well. Hanna-Barbera…

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Dec. 19 – Aaahh!!! Real Monster – “Gone Shopp’n”

Original air date December 11, 1994.

Whenever I approach another year of The Christmas Spot I usually have some kind of goal in mind. Maybe one could even think of it as a theme. The past few years I’ve made it a point to highlight some of the best Christmas specials I covered in the past, but felt I had short-changed the first time around. And that’s kept up, though after this year that task will basically be accomplished. It’s not the only goal I had this year as I also wanted to spotlight a lot of stuff I had just overlooked up until now. That’s why we’ve had some Looney Tunes themed posts this year and you could even count Scooby Doo as part of that. The other big one was to really dive into the Nicktoons.

Some of this drive to highlight more Nicktoons is born out of nostalgia for 90s properties. The Nicktoons were quite popular and there’s probably an appetite among my readers to engage with them at Christmas. There also were a fair amount of holiday specials produced by Nickelodeon for these shows and as someone who loves Christmas I want to make sure I’ve seen them all. Most of them I remember to some degree, while others I’ve completely forgotten about or missed entirely. The other motivating factor here is that now all of these shows are very accessible via Paramount+. That’s certainly a good thing, but as we saw with HBO Max and Disney+ this year, all of that content you see today isn’t guaranteed to be there tomorrow. And if you’re going to do an annual advent calendar of Christmas specials, streaming is the easiest way to interact with such episodes and specials so I do feel a sense of urgency with some of these properties.

Aaahh!!! Real Monsters is the fifth official Nicktoon and second (but no the last) developed by Klasky-Csupo.

Aaahh!!! Real Monsters was the fifth of the Nicktoons and the second created by Klasky-Csupo. It premiered in 1994 and its creation is primarily credited to Gábor Csupó and Peter Gaffney with a lot of input from director Igor Kovalyov. It’s a show about young monsters Oblina (Christine Cavanaugh), Krumm (David Eccles), and Ickis (Charlie Adler) who are all students in monster school just outside New York City. They attend a boarding school located in a dump overseen by The Gromble (Gregg Berger) who is tasked with teaching them how to scare humans and, perhaps more importantly, how to not get caught by said humans. It’s a little bit like Monsters Inc which followed this only there’s no monster world they travel from and the scares don’t power their society. They basically just scare because that’s what monsters do.

The show ran from 1994 through 1997 with reruns following that kept it on the air for quite awhile. It received the standard Nicktoon episode order of 52 which was broken up into multiple broadcast seasons. It was a bit of an odd inclusion to the lineup as, following the creation of Rocko’s Modern Life, the Sunday morning Nicktoons block had been made a whole two hours, but now they had five shows. Nickelodeon by then was premiering a lot of the new The Ren & Stimpy Show episodes during its Saturday night timeslot and fellow Nicktoon Doug wasn’t going to be around much longer so things did kind of work themselves out.

This one isn’t a traditional Christmas episode, but it does have its own version of the Red Ryder BB Gun.

The show does have a very interesting style. It’s undeniably Klasky-Csupo, but with monsters as the main characters those almost intentionally ugly character designs work very well with the show’s setting. All of the monsters are oddly shaped with lots of grotesque details about them. There is a more scatological humor at play in the show, though I would say it’s not as gross as Rocko or Ren and Stimpy. These monsters do live in a landfill and get around the human world by flushing themselves down the toilet. Toenail clippings are their currency and monsters like Krumm rely on their grotesque odor in order to scare humans. Some of the designs though are just really fun. Krumm was always a favorite of mine as he doesn’t have eye sockets. His face basically ends at his nose so he’s forced to carry his eyeballs around over his head. This can cause problems when he needs to use his hands for something else, but he doesn’t mind sticking his eyes in his mouth or even on the ground. They’re surprisingly durable.

If you’re a 90s kid then it’s likely that you’re familiar with Aaahh!!! Real Monsters and it’s also possible you’re saying to yourself, “Wait, I don’t remember that show having a Christmas episode?” And you would be partially correct. This one is a little bit of a cheat, but you know when you have to do 25 of these things every year you’re willing to settle for “close enough.” The sixth episode of season one features the segment “Gone Shopp’n” which places the three main characters in the mall decked out for Christmas. Only, it’s not actually Christmas, but a Christmas in July sale. If you didn’t know that detail then it likely wouldn’t matter as this looks like a Christmas episode. It aired in December, so it sure looks like it was timed as the show’s Christmas episode that year, but maybe they felt that by making it a Christmas in July episode it would give the network more freedom to re-air it as they saw fit? I don’t know, but we’re counting it so let’s go!

The episode begins, as all episodes of the show do, with a spooky, but lively, theme song set mostly to clips from the show. It’s composed by Drew Neumann and the song is punctuated with a stock scream (I don’t think this is another instance of the famous Wilhelm scream) since the show is called Aaahh!!! Real Monsters with the “aaahh” portion meant to be a scream. It’s a clever bit of wordplay that makes the title so much more interesting than if it had been called Real Monsters. It also made things more interesting on the Nickelodeon hype man when doing TV spots for the show.

This is rent-a-cop, Hal, who is going to be a passive participant throughout this one.

“Gone Shopp’n” is the second segment of the episode following “Monsters Don’t Dance.” It’s going to be a single setting segment as it starts and takes place at the Valley View Mall. It’s all decorated for Christmas in July which really makes it no different from just Christmas. I don’t even see a Hawaiian Santa anywhere so I’m puzzled why they even bothered to make this Christmas in July. Maybe someone at the studio was adamant that this show never have a true Christmas episode? There’s a quick cut of the face of a security guard who looks pretty intense, before we see some additional cuts of another gentleman apparently sneaking into the mall. He’s actively avoiding the guard and clearly up to no good. He also seems very interested in a ski sale.

It must have been fun devising ways for Krumm to scare people with his detached eyes.

A voice over the P.A. alerts us to the fact that the mall is closing in five minutes. Inside a store called Crystal Clear, a young woman (Cavanaugh) is scoping out a crystal ball that the clerk is aggressively pushing on her. The voice actor for the clerk (Nick Jameson) is doing an accent of some kind, I think he’s supposed to be middle eastern, and it’s probably not the sort of thing you would see in a modern cartoon. The young lady doesn’t understand why the ball is so expensive, but the clerk encourages her to gaze into it for it will reveal the depths of her soul. When she does, it rotates on its own revealing an eyeball which blinks. The two humans scream and cry out “Monster!” as they run out of the store.

Pay no attention to the man in the ski clothes.

Krumm pops up from under the table as it was his eye that frightened the two humans. As they run through the mall in terror, the security guard (Rodney Saulsberry) from earlier just shouts at them, “Hey! No running in the mall!” He’s soon approached by the mall’s manager (Michael Tucker) who wishes to push the new security system on him. The guard seems put-off and hostile towards his boss and the new system challenging that it couldn’t possibly prevent horseplay on the escalators. The mall manager doesn’t care and just wants the guy to enable the alarm. They’ve been burglarized multiple times this month and he seems desperate to put an end to that. The mall cop agrees to do as he’s requested and vows that no burglar can escape this “Rent-a-cop!” As he says that, we see the shady guy from earlier is watching disguised as a mannequin in ski attire.

If this episode had been made after the Lord of the Rings film franchise got off and running then we certainly would have had a “precious” line in here somewhere.

Ickis, Krumm, and Oblina poke their heads out from behind a corner. Oblina gestures towards a restroom and announces that’s their way out (remember, they travel through toilets) and the three take off. Oblina doesn’t make it very far though before something in a store display window catches her eye. Ickis shouts back at her in confusion over why she stopped, then joins her and becomes transfixed as well. Krumm then strolls up in confusion and sees what all the fuss is over: a lava lamp. The three monsters are completely enraptured by the novelty lamp. They can’t take their eyes off of it and we get a fun little cut of the lamp dancing in their eyes as the camera moves from monster to monster.

No running in the mall!

Nearby, the manager is leaving and passing on some final instructions to the rent-a-cop to remember to enable the alarm after he leaves. He also adds that he should release the dogs. The guard agrees and does that immediately. Two snarling, angry, looking dogs come running out and immediately go for the manager who narrowly avoids them by slipping out of the exit. He then can be heard shouting out “After I leave, you moron!” in response to him letting loose the beasts right away. The guard smiles sort of sheepishly realizing his error, then presses the button on the security box that barricades all of the entrances, even pipes and toilets. Satisfied, the guard turns back around and catches the guard dogs running by which calls for another, “Hey! No running in the mall!” The guard then smiles to himself and…closes his eyes. He falls asleep standing up and in doing so his elbow presses the door button again undoing all of the locks he had just activated.

Our thief is soon going to learn that he’s overprepared for this heist.

With the guard asleep and the security system disabled, our would-be thief jumps out from his disguise and immediately gets to work. He tosses a large rope net on the floor and then baits it with a juicy T-bone steak. He then heads over to a jewelry store with a hole saw to drill through the glass window. He takes a peek at the guard first then turns on the very noisy drill to create a hole in the glass. As he reaches in to grab the loot, the entire window shatters! He immediately looks back at the guard and finds him still snoring so he grabs the loot and moves on.

Behold the lamp’s beauty.

At the lamp, the monsters are still captivated by its warm, glowing, warming, glow. Ickis notes a tag that reads “Lava Lamp $20.00” and mistakenly thinks it’s called a Lava Lamp 2,000. The monsters all try to come up with a word to describe its beauty, but words fail them. Krumm declares it reminds him of his mother which makes him feel warm inside. Their religious moment is soon interrupted though as the dogs have taken notice. Ickis screams when he sees them and the three start running for a vent. Unfortunately for them, the guard is a little unsteady on his feet and his elbow has drifted back and reactivated the security measures which drops a series of bars across all of the exits once again.

That’s using the old noggin! Or, butt?

With their escape routes cut-off, Oblina does the only thing a monster knows to do in this situation -she resorts to scaring! Unfortunately, the dogs aren’t impressed and the three are forced to book-it. They hit a dead-end at a barred up store and appear to be dead in the water. It’s Oblina who has the bright idea to “use her” to break into the store. She is an unusual shape and is similar to a crowbar and that’s essentially how they use her to prop the gate open. Krumm, with his eyes in his mouth, holds the gate up long enough for Ickis and Oblina to slide under it before he joins them, his ass left red and irritated in the process.

The monsters probably shouldn’t feel too safe where they are.

With the threat of the dogs momentarily avoided, Ickis wonders aloud what they’re to do now, but Oblina can only think of “the Lahmp.” She pronounces it by exaggerating the “A” sound which confuses Ickis, but Krumm informs him she means the lamp. They then all get momentarily captivated by the thought of it and seem legitimately depressed about being separated from the lamp. I’m thinking it might not be a good influence on their lives. Oblina vows that they will not be leaving here without it!

What the hell is this thing in Oblina’s mouth?! Is it sentient? Can it speak? I have so many questions!

We get another shot of the wavering security guard who, once again, drifts back into the door release button. As the bars all retract from their various coverings, it would seem the monsters are in trouble. They have a plan though as we smash-cut to the crew crashing through the store display window in a little car. It sounds like it’s a battery-operated car as opposed to a peddle one. Ickis is driving while Krumm and Oblina can only watch as the dogs give chase. Oblina tries in vane to once again scare the dogs away, but nothing appears to be working. Even her weird technique that reveals some little monster living inside her.

They should have just gone all the way and gave him driving gloves and a scarf.

Ickis cries out for someone to do something, and it’s at this point I noticed he’s wearing some old-timey driving goggles, which is pretty cute. Since Oblina has tried every trick she knows, it’s Krumm’s turn to try to stink them out, but they’re dogs. They eat their own poop, smells don’t bother them. Ickis takes the crew up the escalator and as he does the bumper of the car falls off. They drive under a bench and everyone ducks which takes out the windshield. It’s like Smokey and the Bandit! Ickis takes the car back down the escalator and through some Christmas decorations before driving through the central Christmas display and past the sleeping guard. He’s able to make a hard right and send the dogs smashing into some garbage cans granting them a moment’s reprieve.

Saved in the “ick” of time…I’ll see myself out.

It’s going to be a short moment though as the car comes to a stop and then falls apart completely. Ickis has had it, and with the dogs baring down on them once again exits the remains of the vehicle and prepares to unleash his ultimate move. When Ickis needs a scare, his technique is to enlarge himself to gargantuan proportions which usually does the trick, but once again, these dogs prove to be impervious to their monstrous tactics. Ickis seems resigned to his fate, but Oblina spots an advertisement for dog muzzles alongside a lasso sale (it seems like a very interesting store). With Ickis about to meet his end, Oblina and Krumm spring into action lassoing the dogs effortlessly as the muzzles settle over their jaws.

When you’re forced to carry your eyes around in your hands like Krumm does, you learn how to be resourceful.

With the dogs neutralized, Oblina declares it’s time to go retrieve their lamp! With Krumm holding the pair of leashes, Oblina dangles a dog bone from a fishing rod and the monsters commandeer the store display Santa sleigh. Ickis questions how Oblina learned to do that with the lasso and she credits it to once eating a spaghetti western – hardy har har. That doesn’t explain how Krumm was able to do the same, but he can’t really tell us anyway since he has his eyes back in his mouth. Or maybe he can, since he has no trouble saying “Get along, little doggies!” His attempt to spur them on fails though as they just sit on the floor and stare at the bone. Krumm then spies a better motivator – the steak! He pulls the steak from the trap with a ski pole so as not to set it off then attaches it to the fishing rod. That does the trick as the dogs take-off, but without the monsters which was seemingly by design.

We are often most vulnerable at the height of our revelry.

Now that the dogs have been properly dealt with, the real mission to retrieve the lamp can begin. Or it would have if not for the fact that a laughing Krumm, amused by his dog contraption, stumbled onto the net set by the thief and got caught in his trap. Suspended from the ceiling, Krumm calls out for help and informs his friends that he hates heights. Ickis is immediately put into a state of panic at the sight of Krumm high above them and Oblina has to bark at him to “Get a grip!” She then assures Krumm that they’ll get him down. Ickis seems to disagree even though he’s the one monster present who seems to have no trouble growing to gargantuan sizes, but I guess his power doesn’t work in such a way that it would allow him to simply enlarge himself to retrieve Krumm? Instead, he sarcastically asks if Oblina knows any monsters that can fly.

So apparently Oblina can enlarge parts of herself for purposes other than scaring, but Ickis cannot.

Hard cut to the whirling sound of a toy airplane. Ickis is the lucky monster riding in the plane, while Oblina controls it with a remote control. Ickis is screaming the whole time while the dogs go running by with the sound of jingle bells coming from the sleigh – this all feels like a deliberate attempt to show us what a heavy sleeper the guard is even without actually showing us the guard again. Oblina tells Ickis to stop acting like a baby and jump, which indicates to me the plan is for Oblina to basically “buzz” Krumm as Ickis leaps onto the net and cuts him down. Ickis turns to the camera and pauses his screaming long enough to inform us that he’s not having fun. Oblina brings the plane over Krumm and Ickis comes through jumping onto the net which knocks it from the ceiling. The two fall onto the waiting…lips…of Oblina who was able to enlarge her mouth like an inflatable raft to cushion their fall. The plane continues on and flies right past the snoring guard and slams into the wall creating a rather spectacular explosion for such a small toy. The guard doesn’t wake up, but does manage to utter yet another “No running in the mall.”

Ickis is underneath those dogs. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

Free from the net, Krumm simply thanks Oblina while Ickis starts wailing about how he could have been severely hurt. Oblina is not interested in his complaints at this point and tells him he was safer in that plane than he is now. Ickis replies with an, “Oh really?!” and appears poised to go on a rant, but is soon flattened by the dog-pulled sleigh to which Krumm can only remark “Bummer,” at the sight of his flattened friend.

How could he possibly leave such a majestic object behind?

We then get to check-in on our thief. He’s moved onto the crystal store from the beginning and is using his hole saw on the glass door, which just shatters like the window from earlier. He enters and makes for the counter where he goes to use the saw once again, then thinks better of it and simply smashes it to steal…a geode? Far be it for me to judge value for a thief. We cut back to the monsters and Ickis is complaining about losing feeling in his right claw while gesturing to his left arm. I don’t know if this is a joke or an animation error. Oblina tells him that he’ll feel better once he’s back in the presence of the lamp and Ickis concedes as much. They then come upon it as the thief is leaving the store. He heads out, then upon seeing the lamp backtracks, smashes the window, and makes off with the lamp!

I was expecting something more elaborate to get the lamp back, but we are running out of time here.

The monsters aren’t going to let this go as Oblina proposes they scare this man so bad that he sleeps with the lights on for the rest of his life! As they give chase, the guard once again bumps the doors button and all of the bars and shutters return. This gives the monsters precious time as they come upon the thief using a blow torch on the bars over the exit. When he sets the torch aside, he grabs Oblina. I guess he thought she was a crowbar, but upon seeing the monster she screams and pulls a bunch of guts or something out of her mouth. It achieves the desired effect as the thief screams and drops her before running off. The monsters are then able to bask in the glow of the lamp, which is apparently battery-operated or something for it’s still glowing.

So that’s how you wake him up!

The thief (Adler) runs up to the security guard and wraps him in a hug begging for him to save him from the monsters. As the guard is startled awake, his elbow hits the emergency alarm. The shutters then go up and the mall manager is there immediately with a handful of cops as they come storming in. The monsters are forced to dash away to a hiding spot while the manager starts congratulating the guard for catching the crook. The guard is understandably confused, while the thief doesn’t correct the manager since he’s still traumatized from the scaring. The guard then realizes the crook was caught and is happy to take the credit, despite doing nothing all night.

Together at last! Merry Christmas, little monsters.

Hal, that’s the guard’s name, taunts the burglar before the real cops take him away. Then to just sort of add to the dysfunction of the night, the dog-sleigh comes racing by and the manager is forced to duck for cover as Hal shouts out “Hey! No running in the mall!” followed by another “Darn dogs,” once again. The manager then tells him how happy he is the burglar was caught and asks Hal how he did it? As Hal stammers and stalls the manager loses interest and decides to reward his security guard. Since he’s probably a rich guy who doesn’t actually like handing out money, he hands Hal what he feels is a suitable reward: the lava lamp. It had been left on the floor with the other booty and Hal accepts it in a manner that indicates he considers this to be a pretty shitty reward. When the manager presumably turns and walks away, Hal casually tosses the lamp in the trash. And at the bottom of that trash can, are the monsters reunited with their “precious” once again.

That’s how the episode ends. Even though it’s not a true Christmas special, the good guys get the thing they desired most this Christmas in July in the end. This is a very light, silly, sort of episode. There’s a clear goal for our characters and it should be an easy one, but those darn dogs just keep getting in the way. There’s some solid physical comedy and even some subtle stuff at play. The bits with the thief sneaking around even though he really doesn’t have to are quietly amusing and I like how no character points out how useless the guard is. The show is just confident in that its audience will get the joke and with children’s programming that isn’t always the case. The characters, especially Oblina and Ickis, bounce off each other well as their personalities clash. There were no moments that made me laugh out loud, but I was suitably entertained throughout.

Praise be to the sleigh, for without it the Christmas component would have been totally irrelevant.

The Christmas component is understandably muted in a show about monsters. We’re not going to get the usual feels out of this one and that’s fine. Instead, Christmas is merely a prop. It’s a way to decorate the scenery and make the mall a touch more interesting. In truth, you could take all of the Christmas stuff out of this one and it wouldn’t really change much. The only obstacle would be replacing the sleigh the dogs end up attached to. And it’s the presence of that sleigh that helps it pass my Christmas test since there isn’t an obvious replacement for it. It’s not like the dogs could pull one of those cars that are sometimes setup in the mall. Maybe a custodial cart? I don’t know, but there’s just enough Christmas that if it were all deleted the episode wouldn’t work.

All that being said, should you make time for “Gone Shopp’n” this holiday season? In a vacuum, probably not. If you’re marathoning the Nicktoons Christmas specials though, then sure, keep this one in the rotation. It’s brief since it only uses half of the show’s running time which is in contrast to most Nicktoons which dedicate the whole half hour to the holiday. It has it’s own flavor, and shows starring monsters are inherently cool, if you ask me. And should you wish to watch this, you can do so via Paramount+ or by purchasing one of the DVD releases of the show. It’s not particularly hard to come by and was released more than once so you have some options. Happy screaming!

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 19 – American Dad! – “Minstrel Krampus”

I’m quite surprised to have made it all the way to December 19 without resorting to The Simpsons, American Dad!, Bob’s Burgers, or some other animated sitcom that has an annual, or near annual, Christmas episode. Not that I have been avoiding such shows, and I may turn to one again before this is all…

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Dec. 19 – Krazy Kat – “Krazy’s Krismas”

One of the most celebrated comic strips of all time is Krazy Kat by George Herriman. Krazy Kat debuted in the New York Evening Journal in 1913 and concluded its run in 1944. It contained a fairly simply premise where a cat named Krazy pined for a mouse named Ignatz, only the mouse hated the…

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Dec. 19 – Christopher the Christmas Tree

We look at a lot of Christmas stuff pulled from every day cartoons, for the most part. On occasion though, I suppose we should throw the Christians a bone and look at something a bit more secular. Yes, I think most people know Christmas was basically co-opted by the church many years ago, but it’s…

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Dec. 18 – Batman: The Brave and the Bold – “Invasion of the Secret Santas!”

Original air date December 12, 2008.

Come 2008, the DC Animated Universe had been dead for 2 years. Justice League Unlimited aired its final episode in 2006 bringing an end to something that had been ongoing since 1992. As I touched on earlier in this year’s countdown, the DCAU wasn’t something I was particularly invested in so it’s end went unnoticed by me. Hell, it’s continuation mostly went unnoticed as I stopped at Batman Beyond! With it in the past though, it seemed there was a desire at Warner to do something completely different. Enter Batman: The Brave and the Bold, a far more light-hearted and cheeky depiction of the caped crusader loosely based on the comic of the same name. The premise was to take Batman and focus on more contained stories that would feature a team-up between Batman and other DC superheroes, some of which would be well known and some that wouldn’t be. This new start came with a new art style and a new voice for Batman. Kevin Conroy (R.I.P.) will always be my Batman, but I get the desire to want to explore a different aspect of the hero which is how we ended up with Diedrich Bader. Bader’s more one-dimensional Batman is the anchor of this show. He has to take himself seriously and play the straight man in a world that is rather outlandish.

It’s a show that is not as campy as past Batman media, but it’s not as grim as the Batman of the 80s and 90s.

Despite all of that, Batman: The Brave and the Bold is not a show I sought out. It was sold to me as more of a kid’s show, and being well into my adult years at this point it didn’t make much sense to seek it out. Like Justice League, the show aired on Cartoon Network which just wasn’t really on my radar in 2008. I admired the visual style from afar, but that was as far as I went with it. Now, I’m more curious about the animated shows I passed on. I never fell out of love with cartoons, be they aimed at kids or adults, and if they’re well-animated then they have value to me. And let’s be honest, we’ve seen a ton of dark and gritty takes on Batman at this point. I love Batman ’89, Batman: The Animated Series, and Batman Begins – they’re all terrific, but at some point I just got tired of the same old Batman. I have yet to watch the latest film and I don’t have much desire to do so. A Batman that’s a bit more lighthearted where the individuals behind the production don’t take the character quite as seriously as others has appeal. I’m not saying let’s go back to the Adam West show and I definitely have no appreciation for the camp that was Batman & Robin, but something more offbeat can work. Batman is allowed to have a sense of humor.

The fifth production episode, and fourth to air, of Batman: The Brave in the Bold is the subject of today’s post. “Invasion of the Secret Santas” is going to team Batman up with Red Tornado, a character I have zero knowledge of. That’s part of the appeal of the show as it seeks to spotlight some lesser heroes in the DC back catalog. I assume it also intends to do the same with villains since today’s villain is another character I have zero experience with: Fun Haus. He certainly sounds like a villain that could work with a Christmas plot, and at least Red Tornado has red in his name. A green outfit leading to a red-green tornado would have really made him fit even more.

Tom Wilson is such a good voice actor, he doesn’t get enough accolades for his work in this area.

The way this show works, is it begins with a “teaser” that features Batman teamed up with a hero as they finish a job. It’s basically unrelated to the show’s main plot. And in this episode, we open with Batman (Bader) and Blue Beetle (voiced by former Batman Will Friedle) as they tangle with Sportsmaster (Tom Wilson)! It starts as a broadcast of The Professional Bowling League’s Christmas Tournament where the top bowlers in the country are competing for a sweet cash prize. Almost right away, Sportsmaster shows up to declare that bowling isn’t a real sport. Sportsmaster is basically a guy who has a costume composed of sports equipment. With him are a trio of goons one is a football player, one a baseball player, and the last is a hockey player. I’m not sure if he intends to steal anything or if he’s really out for money (he says he won’t steal their prize, but win it) or if this is more of a personal crusade against bowling. The bowlers don’t put up any sort of resistance apparently as we cut to them all placed in human-sized, transparent, bowling pins and the goons are setting them up. Sportsmaster then grabs a bowling ball, which is also a bomb, and rolls it in the direction of the pins. He’s a southpaw, in case you’re curious. Just before the ball strikes the pins a well-timed batarang intercepts it and detonates it before it can reach them. Enter Batman and The Blue Beetle!

I hope you’re not too attached to Blue Beetle, because he’s only here for a hot minute.

Batman is here to tell Sportsmaster he expected to find him…in the gutter! See, Batman gets to use puns with regularity now. Blue Beetle is basically just along for the ride. Sportsmaster welcomes the challenge, and Batman instructs Beetle to take the goons and leave Sportsmaster to him. Beetle is fine with that, but his suit might not be as he starts arguing with it and refers to it as a “goober.” Since only Blue Beetle can hear what the suit is saying (and that is true for us, the audience), it sounds like he’s insulting Batman, but he just ignores it. Beetle is embarrassed and a bit angry with his apparently sentient suit (I guess I should have watched the movie that came out this year), but orders it to conjure up some weapons for him to tackle the baddies with. It responds by morphing both forearms into Mega Buster-like canons, which is certainly aided in that both characters rely heavily on the color blue. Beetle requests something less likely to level the place and the suit responds by just bulking him up, and he seems satisfied. I had no idea Blue Beetle operated in such a fashion.

You didn’t really think a guy in sports equipment was going to be much of a match for Batman, did you?

Meanwhile, Batman is battling Sportsmaster who is tossing several bowling balls at him. Batman just punches them out of the air causing them to shatter so this is one beefy bat. He closes in on the villain, who responds with kicks as he’s apparently “sporting” some rather fiendish cleats. Unable to connect with Batman, Sportsmaster tries to make a run for it, but Batman is able to take him out with a bowling pin. Blue Beetle had no difficulty with the goons and the two regroup to bask in the glow of a job well done. Beetle then tries inviting Batman back to his place for Christmas Eve dinner, boasting that his mom is a great cook so he apparently still lives at home, but Batman turns him down on account of the fact that crime doesn’t take a holiday. Smash to intro!

I don’t think that eye color is natural.

After a pretty spectacular intro with an old school flair (think Johnny Quest), we settle on a small town gearing up for Christmas. We see some festive sights around town before the camera takes us to a university. It’s there a professor is teaching an archeology class. Professor Ulthoon (Corey Burton) takes a question from a kid (James Arnold Taylor) wondering if archeology is as exciting as someone like Indiana Jones makes it out to be, and the professor is forced to tell him that it is not. It’s mostly reading books. When he turns to address the kid we see his eyes are an unnatural shade of blue and his rather stilted speech would imply this gentleman is not human.

Meet Red Tornado, the communist superhero!

The sound of a runaway box truck gets the professor’s attention. He apparently has a super sense of hearing to notice the out of control vehicle and excuses himself from class for a moment. Once the door is shut behind him, he rips off his whole face to reveal a robotic one underneath. This, ladies and gentlemen, is Red Tornado! He whirls into action to save two children about to be struck by this vehicle, which comes to a complete stop shortly after, and delivers them to their father. There he tells the old man that his children need to be more mindful of traffic and he receives no objections from the man and his two kids. They thank him for saving them and for all that he does and make a reference to The Christmas Spirit in doing so. Red Tornado responds with, “Christmas…spirit?” as he’s apparently unfamiliar with the term. The boy (Zachary Gordon) describes it as a tingling feeling you get inside and when Red Tornado confesses he’s unfamiliar with that emotion the little girl (Liliana Mumy) laughs at him like he’s an idiot – “Of course you can’t, you’re a robot!” The three all have a hearty laugh while Red Tornado looks legitimately hurt.

Decorating is apparently quite easy when you’re some sort of magic tornado machine.

Later, we find Red Tornado as his alter ego back at his home. He’s just standing in his living room at first, but then it cuts to him seated on his sofa reading a book titled Get That Holiday Spirit! He closes it, apparently finished, and then goes into a whirling tornado form once more. As a tornado, he decorates the exterior of his house with holiday decorations and then the interior. We see him putting on a festive, ugly, Christmas sweater and he stands in the living room looking things over. Deciding that he’s still missing something, we cut to him knocking on someone’s door. It’s the man and the two kids from earlier and when they all answer the door, Professor Ulthoon (he’s apparently not concerned about giving away his identity) clears his throat and begins to sing “Jingle Bells” in a very monotone, emotionless, fashion. The family just slams the door in his face leaving poor Red Tornado looking rather sad.

It’s something Jack Skellington struggled with too, buddy.

Back at his home, we find the professor working out an equation on a chalkboard. He seems to hypothesize that decorations plus lights plus presents plus caroling equals Christmas Spirit. Or he’s dividing by Christmas Spirit. My algebra teacher would have scolded me for writing an equation like this. Nonetheless, it would seem he can’t figure out why he has yet to feel this so-called Christmas Spirit given that he’s done what he feels is required. The television is on in the background and a black and white movie is on where a father asks his son if he’d like to know the true meaning of Christmas? Red Tornado responds out loud with, “Yes, please elaborate,” only for the movie to be interrupted by a news broadcast. Flying saucers are attacking the city and there’s a transmission from a Neptunian Leader (Friedle) demanding that Earth hand over the one known as Santa Claus. The anchor then informs us that Batman is on the scene and alone in defending Earth from these alien invaders. Not for long as the professor dawns his Red Tornado guise intent on joining the fray.

Oh, hell yeah!

We cut to a close-up of some woman screaming as she and several others run for their lives. The flying saucers are blasting everything in sight, but Batman is on the scene. He’s shown riding on top of one of the saucers stabbing it repeatedly with a batarang. He sends it careening into the ground, does a backflip off of it, and takes out several others with batarangs in the process. He moves to another saucer and as he rides and stabs some more he’s able to direct the ship’s weapon blasts at other saucers in the process. He eventually sends that one crashing into a giant Christmas tree which goes up in flames, hopefully not an omen of what’s to come. Batman remarks to himself this isn’t how he imagined spending Christmas and soon deploys a jetpack of sorts. Why he didn’t use this thing from the beginning is a mystery. When he’s about to get nailed by a few more flying saucers, he’s saved by the entering Red Tornado. The robot wishes Batman a “Merry Christmas,” and responds by saying “Now’s not the time, Red Tornado.” This confuses Red Tornado who asks, “Isn’t Christmas tomorrow?” and I like his very literal response.

This is the team-up we’re getting, whether wanted or not.

Batman is unable to explain the nuances of the English language at this time to Red Tornado for they’re still under attack. They manage to avoid the saucers and return to the offensive with Red Tornado capable of taking them out with relative ease. He mentions to Batman that Neptune is uninhabited, to which the caped crusader responds with “No kidding.” He instructs the robot to search his database for Christmas movies featuring aliens and Red Tornado is able to find one: Holiday for Neptunians. He is also able to confirm the broadcast they saw earlier on television was taken from the film. Batman then tells him he’ll draw their fire so that Red Tornado can do his thing. He takes off forcing the saucers to fly in a group after Batman. Red Tornado is then able to line them up and blast them with…red tornadoes. That’s basically all he does.

Being a detective is pretty easy when all of the bad guys put their face on their weapons.

With the saucers now obliterated, the two return to the ground. Batman’s jetpack just sort of magically turns back into a cape. It makes no sense, but it looks pretty cool, and this is a cartoon about superheroes battling flying saucers so I’ll allow it. Batman examines the debris and finds a marking on it indicating it’s a toy. Red Tornado suggests he can search his database for the logo, but Batman tells him he won’t find it. Red Tornado comes back to say he could not locate it’s source, which seems to irritate Batman since he already told him he won’t. This logo is actually a mark of today’s villain. A flying saucer flies into view and from it emerges Fun Haus (Gary Anthony Williams)!

Fun Haus is clearly Toyman and that doll is definitely supposed to look like Baby Doll.

Fun Haus looks like a scary jester of some kind. He looks like a villain from the old Super Friends shows, but I’m pretty sure he was called the Toyman or something. A little bit of research tells me that Fun Haus is indeed meant to resemble that version of Toyman, so look at that. He’s shown standing in the saucer holding a doll which looks an awful lot like Baby Doll from Batman: The Animated Series. As he caresses her hair, he remarks to the pair that he was just playing with his toys asking rhetorically “Is that so wrong?” Red Tornado, who has to take everything seriously, confirms that it is indeed quite wrong and adds that most of the things Fun Haus does are wrong. He starts listing off all of his crimes he can find in his database until Batman basically tells him that’s enough once he hits jaywalking. He then tells Fun Haus “If you think we’re going to let you continue your deranged rampage you’re wrong.” Fun Haus is unimpressed and simply retorts, “If if’s and but’s were candy nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas!”

Spoiler alert, this is not the most unsettling image we’ll see from this one.

Fun Haus lobbs some threatening words at the heroes before pulling the drawstring on his dolly and tossing it to Batman. He flies off in his saucer as Batman catches the doll. As he looks it over, the doll’s head spins around and asks “Won’t you play with me?” When it does, the eyes fade to black and the doll’s right eye is replaced with a red, digital, “1” and the left eye a zero. Batman cries out, “It’s a bomb!” and we get a suspenseful act break. When we return from the break, the doll adds “My Christmas wish is to blow everything to smithereens.” This must be the hot, holiday, item for this year. Batman instructs Red Tornado to give this doll some altitude as he chucks it high into the air. Red Tornado obliges and blasts the doll ever higher where it detonates harmlessly.

Batman probably has an entire cupboard full of these things. What else is a hero supposed to gift a billionaire?!

Red Tornado then declares that they cannot let Fun Haus ruin Christmas. Batman sort of corrects him by saying Fun Haus is a crook first implying they just need to stop whatever scheme he’s up to. Christmas is apparently of little concern to Batman. He then asks, “Besides, why do you care?” in response to Red Tornado’s apparent concern about Christmas. Red Tornado then confesses it’s because he lacks Christmas Spirit and it’s something he would like to experience. Batman retorts that it’s overrated forcing Red Tornado to observe that he is not the only one lacking in Christmas Spirit. He then hypothesizes that something will help the both of them and produces a gift for Batman. He responds with “You shouldn’t have,” and I get the sense that he means that sincerely. He opens it anyway and finds a black coffee mug with the words “World’s Greatest Detective” printed on it.

Young Bruce clearly going for a Dennis the Menace look with that hairstyle.

This apparently triggers something in Batman as the screen gets all wavy and we see a flashback. It’s Christmas morning at Wayne Manor and little Bruce is making a b-line for the tree. His parents are standing by along with Alfred and his dad asks him what Santa brought for him. Young Bruce (Gordon) inspects a gift by shaking it, testing its weight, and seems to know what’s inside causing his dad (Burton) to remark “Our little detective.” He then rips it open, but we don’t get to see what’s inside (not yet, at least) as we’re taken back to the present. Batman is just staring at the gift while Red Tornado observes that he’s still not detecting any Christmas Spirit within the crime fighter. Batman snaps out of it and points out that he doesn’t have a gift for Red Tornado. He’s unbothered by this as he points out that he understands it’s the giving, not the receiving, that best exemplifies the Christmas Spirit. He’s then left wondering why he still doesn’t sense it within him and asks Batman to confirm that it’s a tingling sensation, no? Batman just smiles and says “When you start tingling, I’d see a repairman.” He then reminds him that they need to resume their hunt for Fun Haus and the pair dash away.

A barber shop with a space theme – I’d check it out.

We’re treated to a few shots of the town basically healing after the attack by Fun Haus. Some guy with a barber shop has incorporated one of the fallen saucers into his sign and is stringing lights over it while the giant tree that was half burned has been relit. A couple of kids approach a Santa seated in a sleigh and ask him if he has any Presto Playpal toys left, but he’s apparently just a robot and only responds with “Ho ho ho.” This seems like something that might scare these kids. Above the city, Batman and Red Tornado are flying past and the robot inquires with Batman why he dislikes Christmas so much? Batman corrects him and says he does not dislike Christmas – he dislikes crime! Batman is so single-minded that he doesn’t even have room in his heart to dislike anything but crime.

You kids ever want to see Santa’s eyes explode from their sockets?!

As he says that line, Batman spies a Santa stumbling through people on the sidewalk and the two head down to get a closer look. Batman accuses him of sipping too much eggnog, but we the audience recognize this Santa as the same robot one from just a moment earlier. His face is frozen in a smile and the “Ho ho ho” emerges from it same as before. Santa then dispatches the two heroes with a double uppercut, much to their surprise. From their backsides, Batman informs this imposter Claus that he just made the naughty list, while Red Tornado makes the useful observation that Santa does not typically behave in this manner. Batman points out that’s because this guy isn’t Santa. As the robot turns its attention towards the many pedestrians in the street, Batman nails him through the chest with a Batarang. The robot goes through a surprisingly gratuitous death scene that includes a close-up of its eyes bulging out of its head and exploding before the whole thing catches fire. Like a Terminator, this thing has a pretty detailed endoskeleton which stands in the middle of the street for a moment as all of the “flesh” is burned away before falling into a heap of Santa bones on the ground. I thought this show was for little kids?!

Geez…this show goes hard!

Batman and Red Tornado approach the remains to inspect it, when the sound of more Santa laughter causes them to whirl around. An army of these things are waiting for them and the head on the apparent lead Claus pops open to reveal a monitor with an expected face to follow. Fun Haus then makes the same observation as me by sarcastically stating “Gee, that won’t give kids nightmares,” as he taunts Batman and Red Tornado from the safety of his base, or wherever he is. The Santas then attack and Batman and Red Tornado brawl with them in the streets. The same screaming woman we got a close-up of earlier gets another chance to shine screaming just as she did before. These Santas seem like they’re here to just be bad guys as one walks over to a little girl and snatches her teddy bear so it can rip it in half. They don’t seem that interested in just hurting people. Some people are also shown running from a department store and the character model for one of the ladies running out appears to be a direct homage to “Christmas with the Joker” as she looks pretty much exactly like the older woman a kid returns a purse to when Batman and Robin are on patrol. A fun little Easter egg for those who have been watching Batman cartoons for a long time.

Gray-haired lady on the right appears to be another BTAS cameo.

Back at that big tree and sleigh, those kids are still pestering the obviously robotic Santa. Apparently this wasn’t the unit that Batman and Red Tornado encountered a moment ago. The eyes on the Santa flip to red as it stands up and the kids start screaming. This apparently scares the reindeer – yes, apparently they were real, who start running. Batman sees this going down and throws a batarang that cuts the harness off one of the four reindeer. That leaves three still pulling the sleigh which is flying down the street at this point. The freed reindeer continues running as well, and Batman leaps onto its back leaving Red Tornado to handle the other robot Santas, which he is apparently more than capable of doing. Batman is able to ride the reindeer alongside the sleigh until he’s able to jump on it just before it looks like the Santa robot is about to actually harm the children. He punches the head of the robot off of the body and it comes to land at the feet of the children. Batman tells them to pretend they didn’t see that and they respond with a scream.

Good thing you brought your robot friend, Batman, because that was a tough one.

The scream was apparently not due to the severed Santa head at their feet, but because the sleigh was heading towards a cliff. What city is situated this close to a giant cliff? It’s actually a bit humorous how they went from a city center to a setting that is pretty remote, but hey, it’s good suspense! The sleigh goes over the cliff, and if you were watching this on television back in 2008 you would have to sit through a commercial break to find out if Batman can save himself, the children, and the three reindeer still attached to the sleigh. And the answer is…he can’t, but Red Tornado can! The sleigh basically levels off and starts flying causing one of the kids to declare it a Christmas miracle. We pan back enough to see Red Tornado flying beside the sleigh as he created a whirlwind below it that is holding the sleigh in place. I don’t think tornadoes work that way, but as has been the case with a lot of stuff in this one so far, we’ll allow it.

The toy at the top of every kid’s Christmas list.

We return to the city and Batman and Red Tornado appear to be surveying the wreckage. I’m guessing they’re looking for clues, but they’re interrupted by the sound of a child crying. Red Tornado approaches and asks the boy’s father, who is standing with him, if the child was frightened by the Santa carnage. The dad says, “Nah,” the kid just wants some toy. The Presto Playpal is the hot toy, and the same one the kids earlier were asking Santa for, but it’s sold out. This triggers another flashback for Batman and we return to the same scene of him opening a present under the tree as a child. Little Bruce unwraps the gift to find it contains a nutcracker. He looks surprised and Thomas Wayne chimes in that it was a gift given to him by his grandfather and now he’s passing it onto Bruce. A sweet sentiment, but apparently Thomas doesn’t know his kid too well. Bruce gets mad because it’s not the swashbuckler action figure (aka Zorro!) he asked for. He chucks the nutcracker at the wall and it bursts into pieces as he runs off. Thomas is left to look downtrodden on the couch while Alfred is left to silently pick up the pieces.

Batman always has a pretty sweet ride.

When we return to the present, Batman looks a bit pissed. I’m expecting him to teach a harsh lesson about material possessions to this boy, but the sound of an alarm snaps him out of his trance. It’s one of the busted Santa robots, the one with a display monitor, and Fun Haus appears once again. He’s there to taunt him with his last setup, “‘Twas the night before Christmas, and I’ve hidden a bomb!” Batman and Red Tornado are forced to spring into action with Red Tornado searching from the skies and Batman from the Batmobile, which has a really cool design in this one that feels like a mashup of the ’66 Batmobile and the one from Batman Forever. Both heroes apparently have some sort of bomb-detecting radar and they just search all over town for this thing. Eventually, we see it’s 6:40 and the pinkish tint to the sky means it’s morning. Batman and Red Tornado are shown regrouping where Red Tornado refers to the bomb threat as “a wild goose chase.” I wasn’t aware he was able to speak so figuratively. Batman wonders what Fun Haus was trying to distract them from, and Red Tornado suggests Christmas morning. We then center on a theater marque that says “Happy Holidays” as Red Tornado expresses his hope that both he and Batman get what they want this year.

Spoiled little brat! Don’t you know your dad is about to die?!

The shot on the marquee fades into another flashback. The Waynes are leaving a showing of The Mark of Zorro, and I think we’re going to find out why Batman isn’t a big fan of Christmas. Any Batman fan knows what happens when little Bruce sees a Zorro flick with his mom and dad, but I don’t recall that fateful night ever occurring on Christmas before. As the family leaves the theater, Thomas bends down and acknowledges that Bruce didn’t get the toy he wanted for Christmas, but he hopes the swashbuckler movie helped to make up for that. Young Bruce just scowls and turns away and the disappointment on the face of Thomas pains me more as a viewer than if he just got angry with his spoiled son. He indicates it’s time to head home and the family starts walking into that fateful alley. Two gunshots rings out and all we see is a muzzle flash for each one before hearing Bruce cry out “Mom! Dad!”

Judging by mom’s expression, the action figure must have been dad’s idea because she has “I told you so,” written all over her face.

We return to the present to find a stern Batman once again, only this time he reacts to his memory by stating, “Sometimes what you wish for most is the one thing you can never have.” Red Tornado says nothing, but that might sting for him a bit and his quest to experience the Christmas Spirit. Batman then notices that on a nearby poster advertising the Presto Playpal is the mark of Fun Haus. Really, Batman? You’re a master detective and you didn’t notice the face of Fun Haus on these posters all over town? Recognizing the evil plan about to unfold, we then find ourselves taken to a nearby home. A young boy is excited to unwrap a Presto Playpal, until the toy comes to life and smashes its way out of the blister package. It goes after the kid’s parents and swipes his mother’s necklace before jumping out of the window and taking off.

A scheme that would make the Grinch proud.

A montage ufolds of similar experiences of kids opening these toys and promptly getting robbed. That’s apparently the end game of Fun Haus – steal Christmas! It’s pretty amusing to see one, little, action figure dragging boxes of presents out of a house while the family just looks on in horror. Just step on the damn thing! They take all of their loot to a box truck for Fun Haus and there’s basically an assembly line of toys delivering their loot while Fun Haus basks in the success of his glorious heist from the roof of the truck. Batman arrives and does as I suggested – he steps on a toy. He informs Fun Haus that he’ll be serving hard time by New Year’s, while Fun Haus counters with “Not if you’re in the grave by lunch!” Ohh, delicious!

Fun Haus is clearly an evil genius. Who else could have invented this thing?!

Fun Haus hits a button on his belt and the toy soldiers form-up in response. They jump on each other’s shoulders forming stacks of three, then we get an animation cheat where they jump together and a bright light obscures everything as they form a massive version of the Presto Playpal. Fun Haus appears in a cockpit located in the machine’s chest, like a Gundam, and informs Batman and Red Tornado that if he can’t steal from these people at Christmas, then he’ll steal Christmas from these people! I guess that’s a sweaty death threat as he then just tries to stomp on the people who came out for a peek. The screaming lady returns for a third time and this time it did get a chuckle out of me. Batman and Red Tornado spring into action by saving people from getting murdered by Fun Haus, but they’re unable to save the town water tower which says “Happy Holidays” on it. Fun Haus blows it up. That water tower has been in the community for generations – has he no shame?!

Don’t do it, Red Tornado!

Red Tornado approaches and declares that he will do no further harm. He starts blasting the mighty robot with his trademarked red tornadoes, but declares he needs more power. He apparently possesses it, as some flaps open up and his tornadoes increase in size and intensity. Soon it starts to break the robot apart, while Batman shouts from the ground for Tornado to stop since his body can’t handle that much output. And it looks like he’s right as cracks start to appear on Red Tornado’s body. The mecha toy thing explodes and we see Fun Haus go flying through the air. He’s really high, and he goes really far, so he might be really dead when he hits the ground.

Well, that sucks.

We don’t have time to worry about Fun Haus though, as Red Tornado looks to be in rather bad shape. He’s all cracked and broken, but he notices he feels something – a tingling sensation! Is it the Christmas Spirit? Or, as Batman suggested earlier, he needs to see a repairman? Batman looks to have the leading theory as Red Tornado explodes. His head winds up at the feet of Batman who picks it up and urges him to hang on referring to him as an old friend in the process. I had no idea they went way back!

Worry not children, for Red Tornado is a robot and he can be rebuilt!

We cut to Fun Haus being loaded into a police car. He looks no worse for ware so maybe he landed on a pillow factory or something. We then pan to a truck branded to be from Star Labs. A guy has a box of Red Tornado body parts that he hands off to another fellow in the truck. This episode has a lot of mild body horror, doesn’t it? We then hear Batman assuring Red Tornado that they’ll have him back together in no time. A gurney is wheeled in and we see Red Tornado’s head has been returned to his torso and he’s alert. Red Tornado then tells Batman it was an amazing feeling. Batman doesn’t try to discourage him and simply smiles and responds with, “Merry Christmas.” Red Tornado smiles in return as he’s loaded into the truck.

I had a feeling we’d find out what happened to that old nutcracker before this one was over.

As the truck pulls away, the Batmobile comes speeding over. Batman hops in and is startled to see a present on the passenger seat. He opens it to find the old nutcracker from his flashback has been put back together. It’s a little rough looking, but looks pretty good considering what happened to it. Batman smiles warmly and we hear him think to himself, “Merry Christmas to you too, Alfred,” implying that his loyal butler re-assembled the toy and placed it in the Batmobile before he left the previous night. The dashboard then starts beeping and Batman’s face hardens as we hear him declare (in his head) “But crime doesn’t take a holiday, and neither do I!” He steps on the gas and the Batmobile goes speeding off towards the source of the beeping and it would appear that there will be no rest for Batman this Christmas.

The episode does a good job of giving equal weight to both Batman and Red Tornado, who gets to experience the true feeling of Christmas without having to crack open a can of 7Up.

“Invasion of the Secret Santas” was a pretty fun little adventure for Batman and Red Tornado. For me, it was an introduction to Red Tornado who I can’t recall ever encountering before this. There are a lot of DC superheroes that I’m not familiar with, but usually I can at least say I’ve seen them in artwork or something, but with Red Tornado I have no frame of reference. It’s amusing to me that I looked at the Justice League Christmas episode earlier this year because Red Tornado and Martian Manhunter play similar roles as emotionless beings seeking to connect with Christmas. With Red Tornado, he’s more eager to experience an emotion he has no reference for. Maybe because the audience for this show was intended to skew younger is why Red Tornado is so vocal about his desire where as we’re expected to observe J’onn’s struggles in that episode without them being made so obvious. Though I’d argue it’s not exactly subtle, either. I wasn’t that enamored with the Justice League episode, but I like this. This show has a terrific visual style and it’s not really trying to look like a 90’s cartoon animated traditionally. It’s more willing to embrace the digital medium with bright colors, thick lines, and an intentional flatness to the characters. Batman himself reminds me a little bit of the character’s depiction in the minimally animated intro to the classic 1960s show. And it still has room for a little subtlety of its own, or at least audience autonomy, when it comes to Red Tornado’s experience of the Christmas Spirit in the end. Was it a mere malfunction, or something more? You decide.

I wasn’t expecting the episode to add a touch of sadness to this version of Batman, but it’s welcomed. Maybe this show has more depth than I thought? Or maybe this is just a Christmas thing?

The depiction of Batman is also a lot of fun. He dishes out the corny one-liners, but with total sincerity. Diedrich Bader sounds authentic and he plays it straight so there isn’t a winking at the camera moment when it comes to Batman. He’s also allowed to possess some dry humor, though is largely a no-nonsense straight man expected to play off of his ally for a given episode. It was interesting to see Christmas incorporated into his origin story and actually surprising to see a new layer of grief added to that. It’s a very similar tactic to what we’ve seen done with Spider-Man’s origin. I think of the first Toby Maguire film where he basically tells off his Uncle Ben and his last discussion with him is one in which he hurt his father figure. He never got to make up for that, and Batman never got to apologize to his own dad for how he reacted to a very personal and meaningful gift that went unappreciated. Separately, it’s also interesting to see young Bruce portrayed as a spoiled, little, rich kid as opposed to some ideal. It makes more sense for him to behave that way as a rich kid so in a way it was sort of refreshing. And it can be inferred that the murder of his parents gave him some new perspective and began his transformation from a very selfish child to a selfless adult. The ending also has a hint of sadness, or melancholy, to it since Batman is so focused on being this crime fighter that he won’t even allow himself a moment’s reprieve after an all-nighter dealing with Fun Haus.

Despite the nice little bow put on this one, the lasting image for me is definitely this gruesome Santa “death.” Good god!

The actual scheme of the episode is almost secondary. It incorporates Christmas in a pretty simple and direct manner and having a toy-themed villain for the episode definitely makes a lot of sense. I have no idea why they chose to call him Fun Haus instead of Toyman, since he appears to just be Toyman, but it doesn’t matter either. There’s some solid action, including the opening teaser with Blue Beetle, though it does start to get repetitive. There are lots of shots of Batman just taking enemies out with Batarangs and more than enough shots of Red Tornado and his tornado effect. That’s my one criticism for this one as it didn’t need to be as long as it is and was starting to drag come the climax. Maybe some of the action could have been substituted with another flashback, something that took place after the murder, or maybe just some actual detective work. It was a pretty lame reveal to have Batman see the Fun Haus logo on the poster for the most popular Christmas toy of the year, but I get the impression this show isn’t trying to be overly clever with its plot. The violence directed towards the Santa robots was certainly memorable and downright shocking to a point. I found it fun, but it wouldn’t surprise me if some kids are legitimately disturbed by it. That frozen, smiling, Santa face is a bit unsettling.

This episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold is an easy recommend for me and I think a viewer only needs to have a basic understanding of who Batman is to enjoy it. I’m talking like just knowing that there’s a character that dresses in tights to fight bad guys at night sort of thing. There’s genuine humor in this one and it even has moments of actual emotion via the flashbacks. I do wish the “death” of Red Tornado hit a little harder, but it’s fine. I found more here to connect with than the intentionally sappy episode of Justice League and consider this episode a far greater success in basically every way which isn’t something I expected going in. And it’s also aided by having a fun visual style, great sound design, and some solid performances from the actors involved. Like Justice League, this one was rumored to be getting delisted from the Max platform, but it appears it has received a stay of execution and is still there as of this post going live. The series was released multiple times on both DVD and Blu Ray so it’s not that hard to obtain and it might even be a series worth watching beyond this Christmas episode. I’m certainly interested in doing so, which is why it’s such a shame to see Discovery Warner play games with these tentpole franchises. Why can’t we just have easy access to your stuff, Warner Bros? Are the tax savings worth the constant worry of losing access to quality shows like this one? To a heartless executive, I’m afraid the answer is “Yes.”

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 18 – X-Men – “Have Yourself a Morlock Little X-Mas”

Today, The Christmas Spot temporarily alters it’s name to The X-Mas Spot. As a sort-of celebration for the animated series X-Men turning 30 this past Halloween we’re going to look at the show’s lone holiday special – “Have Yourself a Morlock Little X-Mas.” The show X-Men was a pretty serious affair as far as kid…

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Dec. 18 – The Legend of Prince Valiant – “Peace on Earth”

The early 90s saw an influx of cartoons produced solely with the intent to sell to cable networks. Previously, most cartoons were packaged from film or created for broadcast networks which would get the first run on major network affiliates and then gradually migrate to smaller stations. With cable becoming more affordable, it was fast…

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Dec. 18 – Dumb and Dumber – “Santa Klutz”

After doing write-ups for the two cartoons inspired by Jim Carrey films from 1994, you must have figured I’d do the third today! Just as Carrey stormed the cinematic gates with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and Dumb and Dumber in ’94, the television world followed suit in ’95 with an animated series based…

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Dec. 17 – We Bare Bears – “Christmas Parties”

Original air date December 1, 2016.

This year, I’ve taken some time out to watch Christmas episodes of shows I’m pretty unfamiliar with. This is yet another one of those posts, only with this show I did make an attempt to get into it. A mild one. We Bare Bears is a show created by Daniel Chong that aired on Cartoon Network from July 2015 to May 2019. That’s a nice overlap with my early years of parenthood and I often found this show about three bear brothers playing in the evening hours. I tried to see if I could get my kids into it as I wanted to spend some time at the end of the day watching TV with them as my parents had done with me. It feels like there can be a negative stigma about a family sitting around the TV tuning each other out, but I always found it to be more collaborative and it’s really enjoyable when everyone can enjoy the show. That part can be challenging when you’re trying to appease toddlers and adults, but it can be done. Unfortunately, We Bare Bears did not become that show for my family and I, but I don’t blame the show for that.

We Bare Bears is essentially a show about fitting in. The main characters of Grizzly, Panda, and Ice Bear are obviously bears who live mostly like regular bears. They are anthropomorphized to a degree as they talk and walk upright, but they’re still bears living in a predominantly human world. They have some animal instincts, and a bit like a teenager first setting out, there’s an excitement for the bears whenever they uncover something new to them. It’s a digitally animated show, but one that’s in 2D with an emphasis made to have the show resemble a water colors production. It animates pretty well from what little I have seen and also has a solid cast of voice actors to bring the characters to life. Episodes for the show are about 11 minutes, and while there seems to be plenty of episodes where the bears learn a lesson of some kind, the show is predominantly a comedy where the humor is situation-based as opposed to one that relies on one-liners or non-sequiturs. The bears each have their own distinct personality and they, for some reason, travel in a stack with Ice Bear on the bottom and Grizzly on the top and Panda situated in the middle.

During the show’s second season it was decided that Christmas would be a topic. “Christmas Parties” is an episode about social obligations and how to manage them. It’s also an episode about acknowledging who your real friends are and making sure they feel loved and appreciated and Christmas is a pretty good time of year for such reassurance. It’s not the only Christmas episode for this show, but it is the first, and its simple premise attracted me to it. If I like it, maybe I’ll bring the bears back next year with a look at one of their other Christmas episodes.

Big bears need a big tree, I guess.

The episode begins in the den of the bears. A festive yule log is on display and the music of “Oh Tannenbaum” is softly playing. It sounds very similar to the Vince Guaraldi trio version from A Charlie Brown Christmas, but I don’t know if it’s that exact recording or not. A tell-tale triangle image pops up indicating this is an online video of some kind. Panda (Bobby Moynihan) presses play and the video restarts. He’s seated on the couch sipping a hot beverage while Grizzly (Eric Edelstein) is doing some holiday decorating. Both look nice and festive as Grizz is sporting a Santa hat and Panda a scarf. Grizz is having some issues hanging the stockings and Panda offers up some vegan nogg, which contains no eggs, but an abundance of nogg! Grizz politely declines and then a pounding of the door indicates the arrival of Ice Bear (Demetri Martin) who has returned with the Christmas tree. It’s massive, and when Panda points this out Ice Bear dismisses him with an “Ice Bear’s motto: go big or go home,” but, he is home?

The invitation from Charlie is obviously the best.

The tree discussion is interrupted by the mailman who has to shove the mail through the tree clogging the door. The bears are excited to find invitations to not one, not two, but three separate Christmas parties! Panda is particularly happy as they usually just stay home and eat, but now they have a place to be! As they look over the invites, an email from Nom Nom comes through. The bears are perplexed at this development as apparently they do not see eye-to-eye with the famous koala, but it’s yet another invite to a Christmas party! And since Nom Nom is some big shot influencer type, it’s looking like it’s going to be the party to end all parties. The capper being that every guest gets a free puppy! It’s just like Bridesmaids! The only solution to this sudden predicament is for the bears to go to all four parties tonight setting a timer for each one so they don’t miss Nom Nom’s. Grizz is pretty stoked as the bears set out to try to pull this thing off.

Hard to blame the bears for wanting to bail on this party.

Up first is Ranger Tabes (Cameron Esposito) who is hosting a party for the bears and the other rangers at the ranger outpost. When the bears arrive, they find a very excited and enthusiastic Tabes, but no one else present appears to share in her excitement. There’s a fellow female ranger eating some snacks, an old guy sleeping in a recliner, and a bearded fellow sipping a beverage who at least acknowledges the bears upon entering by raising his cup. Tabes is excited the bears have arrived so that they can help liven things up. Her solution? Limbo! They break out a candy cane patterned pole and get everyone on their feet, including the sleeping guy, with some tunes from a boom box. Things were getting pretty intense, but then Panda’s alarm goes off. Time for the bears to run though Tabes can hardly believe they’re bailing already. As they rush out, the boom box gets knocked over and the spicy limbo music is accidentally switched to “Silent Night” and the party is back to being lame.

I feel like we could use an entire episode about Christmas with Big Foot.

Up next is a party at Charlie’s house. Charlie (Jason Lee) is the local big foot who has decorated a large tree for his party. The bears come upon it and aren’t sure where the party is, until Charlie pops out of the tree to tell them it’s inside! The bears climb inside and are pretty confused why Charlie would have a party in an actual tree. Charlie seems to think it’s the only place you can have a proper Christmas party and his cheerful demeanor is not at all insulted. Charlie then points out how his party is plenty traditional because he has everything needed for a traditional Christmas party. He’s got cards (two squirrels playing Poker or a similar game) stockings hung with care (underwear full of rodents), reindeer (a deer clinging to a branch for “dear” life while Charlie pours water over its head) and food which is eggs with the word “Nogg” written on them. What Charlie doesn’t have, and needs help finding, is a star for the tree. He starts rummaging through a box of junk and seems to settle on a fractured doll head which would make a mighty creepy tree topper. Before they can get too far into this exercise, Panda’s alarm goes off and they have to go. Charlie seems sad, but the alarm knows when it’s time to go. They leave, but Ice Bear at least remembers to thank the sasquatch for the eggnog.

How can bears, creatures that are typically known for making decisions based on their stomach, turn down a spread like that?!

The next party is the home of Chloe Park and the bears are already behind schedule as it took them too long to get out of that tree. Chloe (Charlyne Yi) is a young, Korean, girl though she and her family aren’t drawn in a way that makes them look obviously Korean. She welcomes them into the home and the bears have to have their paws inspected before entering since they don’t wear shoes they can remove. Chloe is enthusiastic, like Tabes and Charlie before her, to have the bears over for Christmas and she leads them into the dining room where her family has gathered for Christmas dinner. They’re having what I assume is a traditional Korean dinner and are seated on pillows at a low table covered with delicious looking food. The bears look immediately distressed knowing they don’t have time to stay for dinner, but Chloe is insistent that they join her family at the table. Jon (Bert Youn), Chloe’s cousin, is immediately amused to see real bears as they try to fit under the table. The table gets jostled around prompting the others to look a little concerned, except Jon who laughs and points out their size. Chloe shushes him and tells the bears to ignore him.

And that’s why you won’t find carpet in my house.

Chloe’s dad (Jinkoo Jeong) then sets down the turkey and encourages everyone to start. Grizz and the other bears are clearly at a crisis here because the food looks so good, but they know they have to leave in order to make it to Nom Nom’s party. And sure enough, the alarm does go off. The bears try to excuse themselves, but Chloe tells them not to be ridiculous on account of the fact that they just got there. Chloe’s grandmother then tries putting items on Panda’s plate while Chloe force-feeds Grizz. Jon takes a moment to ask Ice Bear what baby seals taste like. He doesn’t offer a response, but does not appear amused by the question. Chloe’s grandma then starts putting meat items on Panda’s plate which causes him to freak out a little since he’s a vegetarian, but when he points that out she just replies with “Yes.” Panda’s alarm goes off again, and now they really feel like they need to leave. The bears awkwardly rise from the table, but in the process accidentally flip it over spilling all of the contents on the carpet. They look supremely embarrassed and offer apologies, but Chloe is clearly upset while the rest of the adults seem too shocked to respond, except Jon who laughs. The bears then try to help clean up, but Chloe tells them to just go. Her parents try to reassure them everything is fine as they awkwardly make their way out. Jon calls after them “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!”

Apparently Nom Nom sucks. They should feel bad about ditching Chloe for this.

The bears are making their way to Nom Nom’s residence and Panda seems pretty down. Grizz tries to raise the spirits of his brothers by dismissing what happened at Chloe’s as just an “off” party. They arrive at Nom Nom’s and it’s a massive house up on a hill. They enter to find an elaborately decorated rave that even Ice Bear has to admit is pretty impressive. There’s still some puppies left too, but as the bears walk through the room they get Nom Nom’s (Patton Oswalt) attention. Apparently, they weren’t supposed to be invited and Nom Nom has no problems letting them know they’re unwanted. He also fires his event coordinator and begins laying into the bears, but finds he’s on camera. This must be getting livestreamed or something and Nom Nom screaming at some bears would not be a good look for him as he changes his tone. He tries to make friends with the bears and even hands them a puppy, but once the camera is off he demands they get out!

That’s pretty damn adorable.

Outside, the bears are alone with their thoughts and their newly acquired puppy, who appears to be a german shepherd or something. They realize the obvious in that by prioritizing the hip party thrown by the guy they don’t even like they ended up hurting the people they care about the most. Grizz rises up and says he has an idea, and we spring forth into a montage! First, we see the bears all stacked up and running through the night each wearing festive attire including Ice Bear who now has reindeer antlers. They first arrive at the ranger station and leave a gift for Tabes on the front porch. It’s full of holes and that’s for a good reason as the box jumps out of her hands and the puppy the bears got at Nom Nom’s emerges. He’s someone that can match her energy and she’s delighted by the gift and the two immediately start playing.

I would say that tree looks pretty good in spite of its decorator.

Next is Charlie’s tree where the bears leave a box for him to find. He opens and inside is the Nom Nom-shaped tree topper from the party only they scribbled over Nom Nom’s face. Charlie looks excited to have a star for his tree and it cuts to him removing the creepy doll head from the top of the tree and replacing it with…the box the star was in. No matter, as he seems pretty happy to have a cardboard box over the top of his tree.

Makeup dinner.

Last, and definitely not least, is Chloe’s house. Now it’s Christmas morning, and Chloe has come downstairs rubbing her eyes roused from her slumber by an enchanting aroma. A feast has been set out and the family is most confused. Naturally, that’s because it was prepared by the bears who welcome them all to the table for Christmas dinner…or breakfast. There’s a turkey, so it’s a bit confusing, but the gesture is sweet. Grizz apologizes for what happened last night and the family rushes over with excitement, except Chloe who looks shocked. Ice Bear then hands her what he deems a peace offering and it looks like a pastry of some kind. Chloe accepts it with a smile while Grizz reiterates that they’re sorry for last night and that they just want Chloe to know that they really care about her. Throughout all of this, the Guaraldi “Oh Tannenabum” is playing once again which adds to the sweet mood. The family, and the bears, all gather around the table and the soft chatter of a family enjoying a meal together takes us out.

Looks like those bears aren’t too bad in a kitchen.

Well that was certainly a sweet little Christmas episode. I don’t know a lot about this show, but I do know that I liked that. It was a simple setup in that the main characters had too many places to be at once and spread themselves too thin in the process. It wasn’t quite that simple, because they clearly have no love for Nom Nom and yet they prioritized attending his party (where they weren’t even welcome, it turns out) for superficial reasons and in the process hurt the feelings of their true friends. They probably could have visited Tabes and Charlie letting them know they were also expected for dinner at the Park residence and it would have worked out fine. Christmas is busy and hectic, after all, and it’s a problem faced by many each year. Instead though, they really short-changed them and then made a disaster of a scene at Chloe’s house. The awkwardness that follows the bears flipping the table is most uncomfortable. I looked at that table and tried to imagine the amount of hours that went into that meal that’s now completely ruined and winced a bit. Talk about a nightmare scenario. I wonder how the Parks spent Christmas Eve following the departure of the bears? Cleaning. Lots of cleaning.

The bears clearly screwed up, but did manage to set things right in the end while seeming genuinely remorseful. It helps that they come across as likable characters that just got their priorities messed up temporarily. It’s fun that the show doesn’t ignore that they’re actual bears in a human world and the reactions from Jon were possibly the most amusing parts of the episode. There were other moments of humor, but it’s sort of a quiet humor. It’s not in your face, but it is pleasant and effective. That’s the word I keep coming back to with this special: pleasant. I smiled when I was supposed to, I felt sad when Chloe was clearly hurt, and the final scene brought about some happy tears. It’s just a nice, wholesome, Christmas episode of a show that I should probably spend some more time with.

The bears were able to save this Christmas, I suppose now I should see how they do when the holiday comes back around.

If you would like to view this episode of We Bare Bears the easiest way to do so is via the Max streaming platform, which I must say I’ve been able to get a lot of use from this holiday season. There’s still time to just drop a few bucks on a month-long sub if you don’t have one and there’s certainly enough Christmas content alone to get your money’s worth. Not that I want to be a shill for a giant corporation, but at least it has its uses. This episode might also see an airing on Cartoon Network at some point, if it hasn’t already, as this show hasn’t been completely banished from the air waves as far as I can tell despite ending years ago. If you couldn’t tell, I think this is worth tracking down and it’s the rare 11 minute short that I actually wouldn’t mind spending a bit more time with.

Dec. 17 – Peace on Earth (1939)

Hugh Harman was one of the early stars in the field of animation. In fact, we talked about one of his shorts already this year, but perhaps his most famous and most celebrated is the 1939 anti-war film Peace on Earth. According to Harman, the short subject was nominated for The Nobel Peace Prize, but…

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Dec. 17 – Popeye the Sailor – “Spinach Greetings”

One of the big, early, cartoon stars was Popeye the Sailor. Popeye starred in newspaper strips, radio plays, and theatrical shorts with contemporaries like Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny. His star has faded over the years, but few would deny Popeye’s place among the greatest cartoon stars of all-time. Come the 1960s though, Popeye and…

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Dec. 17 – The Mask – “Santa Mask”

In the world of film, 1994 belonged to Jim Carrey. On television, 1995 belonged to TV shows based on those 94 movies. Well, not exactly, since all of the shows based on Jim Carrey movies made little impact, but like yesterday’s show I’d hesitate to call today’s subject a failure. The Mask began life as…

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Dec. 16 – New Looney Tunes – “Tis the Seasoning/Winter Blunderland”

Original air (upload?) date November 30, 2017.

It was just over a week ago that we took a look at the Christmas episode of The Looney Tunes Show. That show featured the cast of Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies in an animated sitcom and it was…okay. It definitely didn’t feel like Warner stumbled onto something with that idea and the search for a worthwhile Christmas special starring Bugs Bunny continues. After that show more or less failed, Warner went back to the drawing board with Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Production which would take those same characters and put them in a setting more familiar to them. The show would center around Bugs Bunny and feature some loose continuity. Later seasons would see other stars more prominently integrated. Erik Kuska is credited as the developer of the program which was executive produced by Sam Register. The design of the show would take these characters back to their infancy really with Porky more rotund and Daffy a screwball type instead of the jealous, scheming, duck of the Chuck Jones era. Bugs, for his part, was back to being his rascally self. His design might be a touch more Bob Clampett than we saw in The Looney Tunes Show, but overall he feels a bit more stylized and unique.

The show was originally called Wabbit and was a Bugs Bunny vehicle until someone realized that these characters work best as an ensemble.

The show began as Wabbit, but by its second season it was simply New Looney Tunes. I kind of hate it when a venerable property gets rebranded as “New” because it will inevitably be not the newest version at some point. Wabbit was a solid title, but I get that they wanted to move on from it when the show stopped being centralized on Bugs Bunny. Nevertheless, it’s approach is pretty true to classic Looney Tunes with the caveat that it’s being made in 2018 and not 1945. Anvils apparently were out in favor of more modern implements of destruction, but this is a toon where the bad guys get hurt, blown up, and traditionally have their violent actions redirected upon themselves. Unlike The Looney Tunes Show, I was aware of the existence of this show at the time and watched a little of it. I got the impression that guns were deemphasized though I don’t know if that’s necessarily true or not. As we’ll see in this short to come, there were ways to work them in. The show also premiered on both Cartoon Network and its offshoot Boomerang, which I believe only exists as a streaming service now, but might still be a channel on cable too. Once again, I couldn’t confirm another suspicion of mine, but I think Warner was hoping this would give Boomerang a boost as they premiered it on both platforms and then moved the show over to Boomerang exclusively. Get the kids hooked on the channel with wide distribution and get the parents to fork over extra money so they can continue to watch it on the subscription service. Pretty clever, though I have no idea if it worked. Considering I rarely encounter kids who know these characters outside of Space Jam, my guess is it didn’t move the needle much.

Some of these designs obviously date back to the origins of these characters, but most also feature some element of stylization unique to this show.

New Looney Tunes not only returns the characters to their roots, but also to a more natural running time. Each episode is two cartoons and they only total around 11 minutes. These cartoons are designed to bring the action and find a quick resolution. Even so, these feel a little shorter than the classic ones which I want to say normally ran for 8 minutes or so. These don’t even hit six. During the first season, New Looney Tunes did tackle Christmas. The show premiered on the Boomerang streaming service, and as far as I can tell, never aired on Cartoon Network. There is a separate date of February 8, 2018 that I assume is for the Boomerang cable airing though that’s a rather peculiar date for a Christmas episode premiere. Talk about a mistake to leave a holiday themed cartoon behind a paywall. If any were going to get a big premiere on Cartoon Network, it should have been the Christmas one as that’s easy ratings. It’s just yet another curious decision by Warner and if you were paying attention in 2023 then you know they had plenty more still to come.

The show begins with an original composition by Joshua Funk titled “Wabbit.” No offense to Funk, but it doesn’t feel like the right song for this program. In his defense, he was tasked with creating a song for a Bugs Bunny show and not specifically a Looney Tunes one. To no one’s surprise, once the show did change focus the opening theme did as well bringing back “The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down.” The interesting thing about the opening is it contains a shot of Bugs outside his rabbit hole with his mailbox on display. He jumps down it to coincide with the lyric “Going down the rabbit hole,” which leads to clips from the cartoons that will be following this. I take it they did this for every episode in the first season? That’s pretty interesting and I can’t recall a show that did something similar.

The return of fat Porky!

When the cartoon begins, we find Bugs Bunny (Jeff Bergman) looking over his shopping list. All of the names (Sylvester, Tweety, Daffy, Taz, and Foghorn, if you’re curious) are crossed out except one: Squeaks. Squeaks the Squirrel (Dee Bradley Baker) is a new creation for the this show and he’s the neighbor of Bugs. He’s shown in the intro and bares a resemblance to the MGM character Screwy Squirrel. As Bugs enters the store, we see a sign that says “Holiday Shopping Season Is Here – Only 360 Days left!” so we’re apparently not even close to Christmas. Porky Pig (Bob Bergen) is the doorman and he’s not only back to being rather large, but also quite tall. He might even be taller than Bugs! He’s also dressed like a nutcracker and following his stuttering greeting Bugs asks him where he could find an Easy Cook Acorn. It’s apparently a big seller, and as Porky tries to get out where the item can be found, Bugs gives up and walks on by. Porky, to his credit, doesn’t seem to mind. I’m guessing this happens to him a lot.

He’s become desensitized to the swine atrocities that surround him on a daily basis.

Bugs goes bounding past some aisles and then ducks down one to retrieve the very last Easy Cook Acorn. As he holds it up triumphantly, a large crate of hams lands on him. It’s Yosemite Sam (Maurice LaMarche), who hops off the top shelf to retrieve this hot holiday item from the crushed remains of Bugs Bunny. He’s back to being a very short man, but he’s also quite round now with bad teeth. He’s definitely designed to be some sort of rich Texan and he has a little exposed chest hair and his bandit mask is still quite prominent. As Sam yanks the toy away from Bugs, he remarks that he plans to sell it for 100 times the asking price and takes off. After he leaves, we hear Porky over the store’s intercom requesting a clean-up on aisle “never mind” as he can’t get the number out on account of his stutter and just says “I’ll do it.” He then comes into frame mopping up the ham juice while Bugs continues to remain motionless. He remarks to the camera “I’ve always been conflicted that we sell these,” which makes sense since he’s basically mopping up the remains of a potential relative.

Porky is getting way more facetime than I anticipated.

We then cut to Yosemite Sam running triumphantly down another aisle only for a huge barrel of eggnog to get tipped over in front of him. As the viscous liquid spreads, Sam gets stuck in it. Bugs pops out from where the can was and snatches the acorn thing and takes off. Porky then comes into frame with his mop to clean up the latest mess and Sam asks him why it’s so sticky as he can’t even get his boots out of it. Porky tells him it’s eggnog and that it’s mostly made of eggs. When Sam points out that eggs aren’t this sticky, Porky responds “Yeah, but that’s all yolks!” Oh Porky, you never miss an opening! Sam just grimaces and yanks his feet out of his boots to scramble after the rabbit.

That’s a rather speedy forklift.

Bugs, looking over his shoulder as he runs, remarks that Sam has a “Scrooge” loose, but he soon loses the acorn to him when he runs past a ladder Sam was standing on (his boots are back on, which is consistent with how a classic short resets everything after every gag). Sam laughs, but Bugs dropkicks the ladder out from under him and regains possession of the acorn box. As he runs, he soon finds the lift portion of a forklift slide under his arms and pick him off the ground. A laughing Sam is, of course, driving it, but he’s too proud of himself to react when Bugs jumps out of it just before he slams into a display for Block-O, obvious Lego knock-offs. I’m a little disappointed they used the same generic name as The Simpsons, but I’m guessing more than just those two shows have relied on the same.

This happens more than once. He’s not a very smart man.

We cut to the electronics section where Sam finds himself surrounded by television sets. As he ponders where Bugs could have gone, he hears the rabbit call out and finds him right over his shoulder. He tries to tackle Bugs, but it was just the rabbit on TV. This goes on for a bit as Sam keeps smashing into TVs that Bugs was on and I kind of like that this cartoon gets something dated into it. I associate classic Looney Tunes with lots of stuff that dates them, and a TV section at a big box store with a display camcorder that would be connected to a television is definitely something I haven’t encountered for years. Sam eventually finds Bugs, who was in the midst of making a crack about how all of the weight a camera adds to a person went to Sam’s head, before taking off again with a half-hearted “Yipe.” That’s already the second one and feels a bit too formulaic even for a Looney Tunes short.

Spoiler alert: this is the closest we’re going to get to a Santa sighting during this post.

Sam runs after Bugs, but soon gets distracted by the Santa’s Village section of the store. Sam then gets the bright idea that he can just ask Santa for one of them there acorn toys rather than deal with the rabbit. He then proceeds to just shove everyone out of the way including one woman and a stroller which is a pretty funny, and harsh, visual. He gets to Santa and jumps on his lap and we, the audience, can tell right away that it’s Bugs in disguise. Sam tells him what he wants: a train set, a pony, some TNT, and the Easy Cook Acorn. He’s pretty giddy about the whole thing, but Santa Bugs has to consult his Naughty List, and sure enough, Sam is on it. If you thought that would end this discussion you thought wrong. Sam instead pulls out a pair of pistols and points them at Santa demanding the presents he requested. The guns are clearly designed to be old fashioned, black powder pistols which was likely a requirement to get them into this cartoon. They’re also partially obscured by the list in front of Bugs and we only get a real glimpse of them when Santa agrees to Sam’s demands and he cheerfully tosses them in the air.

That poor pony.

Sam dives into his gifts while Bugs tries to slink away. We hear Sam hollering from off camera “My train set! My pony! My T-N-…” followed by an explosion. We pan back to see Sam covered in soot with his hair shot back from the blast and the poor pony too. What did that pony do to deserve to get blown up?! We then jump back into the chase routine as Bugs goes running down yet another nondescript aisle. In search of a place to hide, he dives behind a store display for a train set and Sam appears to see him do so. Once behind it, he finds another shopper (Candi Milo) doing the same as she has an Easy Cook Acorn under her arm too. She’s real excitable and acts like the two are in a foxhole together. She tells Bugs to cover her as she makes a break for it. Bugs just remarks to himself that next year he’s doing all of his shopping online. We never find out if the woman made it to the register or not. I like to think she did.

I hope she made it.

Sam reaches down from atop the train set to once again reclaim the acorn set by yanking it from the hands of Bugs. As Sam runs off, Bugs overhears Porky calling out about free samples of potato pancakes. Bugs runs over and scoops up a handful taking the time to tell Porky he’s going to need another clean-up. He doesn’t even get the full sentence out before Porky just says “I’m on it,” and grabs his trusty mop. Bugs then whips the pancakes like shrurikens at the feet of Sam causing him to go sliding into a display of Christmas yard decorations. Bugs cries out “What the?” as he sees Sam’s head emerge inside a giant snowglobe. Sam shakes out the cobwebs and takes notice of the Easy Cook Acorn sitting nearby on the floor. He pushes the snowglobe and it leaves the base of the decoration like a giant, glass, hamster ball. That must be one expensive yard decoration. Bugs just remarks “Oh brother,” then gesturing to a giant, store display stocking adds “This guy’s been ‘stocking’ me all day. It’s time to sock it to him,” and he jumps into the stocking.

So long, screwy!

We then see the two set for a collision. Sam rolling in his ball towards the Easy Cook Acorn and Bugs bounding in his stocking for the same. The two arrive at the same time and Bugs uses the oversized stocking to punt Sam clear out of the picture. He is forced to add “I really gave him the boot!” These quips aren’t really doing it for me. Sam winds up getting wedged between two objects on the ceiling, I have no idea what they’re supposed to be, and the globe breaks open. Despite it sounding like rolling glass earlier, it looks to be a plastic inflatable and Sam falls out of it to land in the gift wrapping department. The unassembled box he lands on then springs to life to seal him in and Bugs slides over to wrap it and launch it into the back of a box truck which drives away.

Dated reference aside, this was a solid joke to go out on.

Bugs is then shown leaving the store with the Easy Cook Acorn secure under his arm. He’s happy to have that ordeal over with and also happy with himself for getting the very last Easy Cook Acorn. He then spies a large truck being driven by Foghorn Leghorn (Bergman) who is speaking with Porky. It’s a huge delivery of Easy Cook Acorns. Porky tells him to take it over to the loading dock and Bugs looks at the camera with an annoyed expression. Hey Bugs, be happy a bunch of kids, or squirrels, will get their Easy Cook Acorns this year. I almost get the impression he was going to resell it like Sam was planning on doing. That’s the end though as we smash cut to an image of Bugs’ hole (that sounds pretty gross) and “New Looney Tunes” above it. This must be the standard act break between shorts. We then get a very quick interlude of a kid excitedly running down the stairs at Christmas. He rips open his present to find Yosemite Sam still sealed inside. The kid says, in a disappointed tone, “You’re not a Tickle-Me-Barbarian” and Sam just responds “My guess is you were naughty this year.” I can’t believer we were still making Tickle-Me-Elmo jokes in 2017.

Meet Squeaks. He’s actually not going to be around much in this short.

Now our second short begins titled “Winter Blunderland.” It begins with Squeaks showing Bugs that he’s written a letter to Santa Claus. Squeaks just speaks in…squeaks…but Bugs can understand him. It’s basically like how Luke can understand R2-D2 in Star Wars. Also, he sounds like Gizmo from Gremlins. Bugs is decorating his mailbox with Christmas lights and seems amused that Squeaks is writing a letter to Santa. Squeaks insists he saw Santa in the forest and runs off, but Bugs decides to follow him as he seems intrigued by the little guy.

There were a lot of new foils created for Bugs Bunny in this show and The Barbarian is one of them.

Squeaks soon comes upon The Barbarian (Steve Blum), a new character created for the show that’s just a big man in a loincloth. He’s always joined by his polar bear buddy Krakos (Baker) who behaves like a somewhat realistic polar bear, but he gets to wear armor. Barbarian is looking to do some thieving as that’s apparently all he does, but it soon becomes clear that he’s the one Squeaks mistook for Santa. It’s made all the more obvious when Barbarian gets some snow on his head that somehow takes on the shape of a Santa hat. Squeaks comes running over waving his letter in the Barbarian’s face who seems genuinely confused by what’s going on. He falls onto his butt and Squeaks jumps onto his lap and seems rather insistent that he take his letter. When he finally does, Squeaks leaves satisfied while Bugs witnesses what happened. He vows to get that letter back to make sure it gets to its proper destination.

Bugs is actually going to take quite a beating in this one.

If you thought maybe The Barbarian was a decent fellow who would just drop the letter in the mail you thought wrong. He’s also stupid and doesn’t really know what it is and even tries eating it. He eventually just decides that since stealing is what he does he’ll just keep the thing and slides it into his beard. Bugs then shows himself by hitting the guy with a snowball and demands the probably smelly Barbarian hand over the letter. That’s when the Barbarian actually realizes what it is and regards it in a somewhat disinterested manner. Maybe he would have done as Bugs said, but Bugs also decides to threaten him with another snowball which the Barbarian scoffs at. He then scoops up some snow of his own which forms into a massive snowball. Bugs utters another “Yipes!” as he tries to run away only for the Barbarian to nail him with the snowball which smashes him up against a giant rock.

Bugs wants that letter, but The Barbarian refuses to surrender it. Those are the stakes.

The Barbarian is then shown remarking to Krakos that they need to get back to stealing while Bugs is lurking from high up on a mountain. Or maybe it’s more like a hill as we see from the side angle, but I think they’re just having some fun with perspective. Bugs is also holding a tiny, Coco Puffs, sized snowball in between his thumb and index finger and lining it up with The Barbarian. He then gently rolls it down the hill and soon the cereal-sized snowball becomes a massive onslaught of snow that starts uprooting trees on its path towards The Barbarian. When the burly man finally sees the thing coming for him it’s too late and he’s crushed. The snowball breaks apart and Bugs comes trotting in to attempt to snatch the letter and a seething Barbarian emerges from the snow with an even more Santa-like appearance. He intends to keep that letter since he views it as his and that’s all that matters to him. A sensible person would let the worthless letter go, but it would seem this guy is anything but sensible. As Bugs tries to yank it from The Barbarian’s beard he gets punched in the face for his troubles and soars off screen.

The bear trap in the collection pot. Classic.

Krakos approaches The Barbarian who seeks some accolades from his bear buddy for ringing that rabbit’s bell, as he puts it. Krakos seems to be in agreement as he nods his head, but he looks angry about it so I can’t tell if he’s actually on The Barbarian’s side or not here. The two are interrupted by an actual ringing bell and it’s Bugs who is dressed like a mailman or something, but in green, and doing a Salvation Army bit. Bugs urges The Barbarian to make a donation and even suggests donating letters to Santa, but The Barbarian informs him that he doesn’t give – he takes! He reaches into the collection pot instead and Bugs informs him he was counting on that. We hear the snapping sound of a bear trap closing on the hand of The Barbarian and Bugs takes off. Krakos laughs at his “friend” which seems to indicate that maybe he is on the side of Bugs. The Barbarian just angrily demands the bear find him and tosses Krakos in the direction of Bugs.

That’s no snowman, you dumb bear!

Krakos is apparently an obedient bear as he starts sniffing around and comes upon a snowman. As he sniffs the carrot nose it vanishes leaving the bear perplexed. As he investigates the snowman more, the stick arms start to move and the top hat winds up on Krakos’ head. Bugs then waves a stick arm and gives some repeated whistles and Krakos responds by acting like a dog eager for a game of fetch. Bugs tosses the stick which lands at the feet of The Barbarian. Krakos comes running into frame and tackles him by mistake as the two slide out of frame.

Oh joy. The return of Christmas Carol.

We then cut to Bugs standing in the woods dressed in drag. It just wouldn’t be a proper Bugs Bunny Christmas special without at least one appearance of the rabbit in a dress. This purple dress with a bonnet looks awfully familiar and when The Barbarian approaches it’s confirmed for me why this dress looks so familiar as Bugs introduces himself as Christmas Carol. I can’t believe they’re repeating a bit from The Looney Tunes Show. Bugs even mugs for the camera for a second like we’re supposed to know this, but I bet most wouldn’t. Carol then asks The Barbarian if he would like to hear a Christmas carol and he actually responds rather enthusiastically and asks her if she knows the one “filled with false and unrealistic expectations?” Carol responds by singing “The Carol of the Bells” and Barbarian confirms that’s the one he was thinking of. Bugs then starts changing the words to describe their current situation telling him he took the letter and now he’s going to take it back and so on and so forth. He starts smashing The Barbarian with the little bell he’s holding. Barbarian even gets in on the action as he responds in melody confirming he took the letter and then uproots a tree to try and smash Bugs with it, but he just hits himself repeatedly.

I’ve never had them, but I can relate to being entranced by the scent of roasting nuts from such a cart.

Once The Barbarian collapses in the snow, Bugs takes off with the letter. Proving his resilience once more, The Barbarian intercepts him on a frozen pond. Bugs gets knocked on his back, but he deftly spins his nemesis and sends him sliding across the ice. Remarking, “What a neanderthal,” he goes to place the letter in his fur only for The Barbarian to come sliding past him snatching the letter in the process. He hops to his feet and remarks that he’s pretty fast for a big guy, but soon is distracted by an aroma. It’s coming from a nut roaster who is obviously Bugs Bunny in disguise. The Barbarian walks over and requests an order, but Bugs tells him he’s all out of packaging and asks if he has any paper he can place the nuts in. The Barbarian hands over the letter, but then demonstrates he’s not as slow as we all think he is. He realizes it’s Bugs and pulls off the rabbit’s moustache. It was held on by an elastic, which Bugs removes from his head and releases from behind his nut roasting cart. The band grabs the whole cart and carries it right into the face of the Barbarian who goes sailing across the ice once again.

This Poseidon is anything but merciful.

The Barbarian rises up in anger, and grabbing a club, declares that this is the end! Bugs then encourages him to mind the thin ice he’s standing on and when The Barbarian looks at his feet he finds all of the hot nuts Bugs had been roasting came to rest on the ice in a circle around him. He soon falls through the ice and the resulting splash freezes instantly trapping The Barbarian inside in a humorous position. Bugs waves the letter about remarking that it’s better to give than to receive, basically one final dig at the hapless barbarian.

These two seem to have no trouble getting along.

Bugs then heads over to his finely decorated mailbox and puts Squeaks’ letter in it. Krakos is there as well and is seemingly no threat at this point as Bugs even remarks to him how cute it is that Squeaks wrote a letter for Santa. The mailbox then starts to shake and we hear a “Ho! Ho! Ho!” from offscreen. Sparkles ring the mailbox and it soon opens all by itself and the letter floats out and is carried off into the sky. Bugs and Krakos look shocked as they watch the letter fly away and Bugs simply turns to the bear to excuse himself for he has a letter to write! He dives into his hole and that’s the end. We don’t actually get to see Santa so we’re denied a moon shot. Bummer.

And away goes the letter. Merry Christmas, Squeaks!

I think I enjoyed these two shorts more than I enjoyed the holiday episode of The Looney Tunes Show, but I think we’re still in search of something that could be considered worthy of Bugs Bunny’s reputation. Both shorts were two characters essentially playing tag with an item. In the first one, we had Bugs and Yosemite Sam fighting over a toy in a department store with the confrontation escalating throughout. The gags were okay and the best joke was probably Porky’s line about mopping up the ham juice, but there wasn’t really anything truly memorable about it. At least Maurice LaMarche got to do a proper Yosemite Sam this time and he was terrific in the role. Bergman’s Bugs remains consistent, though the writing wasn’t great. His one-liners are pretty bad and I can’t tell if they’re trying for a “So bad it’s good,” kind of thing with them or if we’re supposed to take them at face value. It was fine, but it’s but a footnote in the history of Bugs Bunny.

The second short was mostly more of the same. I did like the character of The Barbarian and I was able to accept that he’s just so single-minded and prideful that he wouldn’t relinquish a worthless letter under any circumstances. Most of the gags were predictable at first, but I suppose the nut roaster deserves some credit for being a different way to introduce some fire into the mix to melt the ice. The Christmas Carol gag works far better here than it did in The Looney Tunes Show for what it is. I did like the joke that Lola is such a bad writer that she named a character that, but after that the rest of the jokes at the character’s expense were lacking. Here it’s just a simple bit and the exchange Bugs and The Barbarian have was the short’s best part and maybe the best sequence between the two cartoons. I am a little salty at being denied a glimpse at Santa though, not that it would have really made the experience that much better.

There were some decent gags to be found in this one, but nothing to write home about, though apparently plenty to blog about.

After looking at two different Looney Tunes holiday specials I am still left wanting. This was a step in the right direction, but it’s not going into my personal holiday rotation. Nostalgia may even still win over when it comes to Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales even if I concede that holiday special isn’t very good. Even though it’s not going onto my annual “Must Watch” list, I do think it’s worth a look for those who have access to it and have never seen it. At just 11 minutes, it’s hardly much of a commitment. You can find New Looney Tunes streaming on HBO Max and Boomerang and maybe the actual Boomerang channel will even air it or has aired it if that’s something you have. And for those who are hoping for something better, we do have one more shot this year at just that and I intend to follow through so keep checking back each day to find out if there is a worthwhile Looney Tunes Christmas special out there.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 16 – A Very Solar Holiday Opposites Special

Yesterday, we talked about South Park and its very first holiday special from the late 90s and today we’re talking about the Trey Parker/Matt Stone of the 2010s – Justin Roiland. Roiland was able to hook-up with Dan Harmon in the mid-2000s which put him on the path to comedy writer and actor, usually of…

Dec. 16 – The Pink Panther in: A Pink Christmas

In 1964, MGM released a film titled The Pink Panther. Such a title conjures up a certain image in one’s mind, but the titular pink panther in the film was not an animal, or even alive, but a pink diamond. Someone must have felt though that you can’t have a title like The Pink Panther…

Dec. 16 – Ace Ventura: Pet Detective – “The Reindeer Hunter”

The year 1994 feels like it belonged to Jim Carrey. Prior to ’94, Carrey was just another actor trying to make his way through Hollywood. He did some stand-up and even starred in a film, but he had yet to really make it. After being cast on the sketch comedy series In Loving Color, Carrey’s…


Dec. 15 – Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas

Original air date December 19, 1995

Today we continue our lookback at the best holiday specials ever sent to television and today’s subject is everyone’s favorite pair of Gen X deadbeats Beavis and Butt-Head. Beavis and Butt-Head were created by Mike Judge and the pair got its start on MTV’s Liquid Television in 1992. There they were a cruel, destructive, pair that delighted in smashing innocent frogs with baseball bats. They would evolve into being just plain stupid with Butt-Head taking on a more sociopathic personality and Beavis that of a subservient pyromaniac. The two were also victims of their environment as there were never any parental figures in their life, most of their teachers treated them with open hostility or just failed to listen to them, and they were basically forced to fend for themselves without ever receiving any training on how to do so. As a result, they spend most of their time watching television, eating junk, masturbating, and trying to find ways to “score” which will likely never happen because who could ever love Beavis and Butt-Head?

The duo that captivated a generation and told us who was cool and who was a “bunghole.”

Millions of adolescents at home, that’s who! When Beavis and Butt-Head got their own show in 1993 they were an instant hit. Who could forget that classic animated block airing weeknights on MTV of Beavis and Butt-Head at 7 PM followed by Speed Racer at 7:30? Yeah, that happened, though maybe my memory is mixing up the order in which they aired. Then some kid set his home on fire and the outcry over Beavis and Butt-Head being responsible forced MTV to move the show to late nights which made it harder for a kid like myself to watch, but not impossible. And for the record, it was found that kid had never even seen the show or was aware of its existence, but like that has ever stopped a media crusade against a television show, movie, or video game?

The show is quite stupid, but intentionally so. It’s satire, and when it’s on the show is quite funny. There is an odd juxtaposition at work though as the structure of the show was to take a roughly 5-7 minute cartoon and extend it with segments of the characters watching music videos on their own TV. During these segments, the two became much smarter and more clever than they were in their cartoons and that’s mostly because these segments were just Mike Judge (who voiced the pair) riffing on what he was seeing. It’s the type of thing many a Gen Xer or millennial would do throughout the 90s just watching television, be it MTV or something else. We hung out with our friends, watched whatever was on, and made fun of it to amuse ourselves. For the show, it was a genius way to fill time on the cheap as MTV had the rights to air those videos basically however they wanted and the little animation needed to go along with those videos could be recycled often. And it was amusing how these characters were presented as morons that no one would want to hang out with during the cartoons, but suddenly seemed cool while watching the videos. I’d watch videos with them, and if they liked an artist or song I was likely to enjoy it as well. Though it was far more entertaining when they watched something they didn’t like.

This Christmas special might set a record for most title cards.

In 1993, the show had its first Christmas special. “A Very Special Christmas with Beavis and Butt-Head” was an episode of the show that was just the two watching television. A whole bunch of Christmas videos were shown and the pair riffed on it. I think there were also some segments of the two just watching a burning Yule log as well. I say “I think” because that special hasn’t been made available on home media. You see, filling episodes with videos may have been cheap and easy to do at the time, but for home video it made the show a nightmare. MTV could air those videos as often as it wanted and whenever it wanted, but it couldn’t put them on a tape or DVD and sell them. That’s why most episodes of Beavis and Butt-Head released on home video are just the cartoons and it’s a shame because they don’t work nearly as well on their own as they did as part of a larger package. Even Paramount has found it hard to get all of the old episodes onto its streaming service. Despite telling consumers they were coming, the network has failed to deliver. Sure, there’s some on there, but it’s patchy at best, so if anyone is sitting on a VCR recording of the first Christmas episode how about hooking up your favorite Christmas blogger?

Because it could be released on video, the more popular Christmas special featuring the duo is “Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas.” This special is primarily composed of two cartoons with some segments of Butt-Head reading viewer mail. I don’t think the original broadcast featured any videos and I’m curious if that was by design so that MTV could release it on VHS since Christmas specials usually do pretty well on home video. Either way, it’s the subject of today’s post and it’s a special I enjoy a lot even if it commits my least favorite sin against the holiday as it adapts not one, but both of A Christmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life. That’s a Nostalgia Spot no-no when it comes to Christmas specials, but thankfully this isn’t a special that’s going to adapt them straight. It also isn’t super creative as it does what you would probably expect of Beavis and Butt-Head in that it takes the story and delivers the opposite conclusion. Or in the case of “It’s a Miserable Life,” presents the opposite premise. It manages to be entertaining, and since the segments aren’t that long, it manages to make it work.

Part 1 stars Beavis, who I think we can agree is the favorite of the two?

Part One of “Do Christmas” is titled “Huh-Huh-Humbug” and it’s obviously going to be our A Christmas Carol parody. It begins with an instrumental of “Jingle Bells” on a black screen with snow filling the air. Then a dead rat falls through the screen to shatter our idyllic, Christmas, imagery. It lands with a splat on the flat-top grill at Burger World, Beavis and Butt-Head’s place of employment. Beavis is applying a cleaning agent to the dead rodent which is what the snow-like substance was as it fries on the grill while Butt-Head is asleep at the register. Beavis starts pressing down on the carcass with his spatula while uttering “Not a creature was stirring.” He’s more clever than we tend to give him credit for.

To the tune of “The Christmas Song,” Dead rats steaming on a flat-top grill…

Beavis is interrupted by his manager (Judge) who rightly asks what he’s doing. Beavis, who possesses limited skills but one is apparently talking himself out of trouble, says he’s just trying to clean the grill like his boss asked of him. This sets off a lecture from the manager who accuses Beavis of screwing around. He points to himself as a success story and I think we’re supposed to laugh at him because his life’s ambition was to be an assistant manager at a fast food restaurant, but hey, if this guy has a home and is able to provide for his family then who are we to judge? As he lays into Beavis, he does do the asshole boss thing of pointing out that he gets to go home and spend Christmas with his family (I assume this is Christmas Eve) while these two stay and work, but little of his lecture gets through because Beavis has fallen asleep while standing. We then hear the sound of slapping as the manager wakes Butt-Head up on his way out as the screen dissolves to take us into the mind of Beavis.

Looks like Beavis does have some ambition after all.

We’re still at Burger World, but now Beavis is in charge and it’s his principal, McVicker (Judge), who is manning the grill as his underling. Beavis is just laying into him for screwing around, much like his manager was, only McVicker wasn’t. Beavis concedes this, but doesn’t care and accuses him of doing nothing instead which won’t pay the bills. McVicker, in his shaky, pathetic, voice, asks Beavis if he can go home to see his family on account of business being slow and it’s Christmas Eve. Butt-Head, who hasn’t changed roles in Beavis’s dream, asks if he can see his family too, but Beavis calls him a “bum-hug” and reminds him he doesn’t have a family to which Butt-Head responds, “Oh yeah.” Beavis then lays into McVicker about how they would all like to go home. Hell, he’d like to go home and spank his monkey, which Beavis notes is a good idea and decides to do just that because he’s the manager and he can do whatever he wants. He puts Butt-Head in charge who orders McVicker to clean the grill. He does as he’s told while moaning like he’s in tremendous pain as Beavis puts on his coat and hat and heads out to go “unwrap his wiener.”

Beavis only wishes he could spend Christmas Eve at home, on his couch, with a porno.

When Beavis arrives home it’s basically exactly like his home in the real world. He discards his coat and hat and takes his usual spot on the couch to watch a porno: Ebenezer Screw. He’s pretty jazzed up about it and even declares this film a Christmas classic. As the video begins we get to see some of the cast which Beavis reads aloud for us: Tiny Johnson and Bob Scratchit. Scratchit kind of looks like a Ron Jeremy parody which would make sense for a 90s TV show. As Beavis demands the video get to the chicks, the screen goes dark and reads “And introducing Butt-Head.” A black and white version of Butt-Head draped in chains floats out of the television. Attached to the ends of the chains are video tapes. As he stands before Beavis he explains, “In life I was your partner, but now I’m some dead guy with cool chains.”

Beavis and some dead guy with cool chains.

Beavis is impressed, more so that Butt-Head managed to get into a porno and not for being a ghost (even though we just saw him alive a moment ago, but this is Beavis’s screwed up dream). Butt-Head takes his usual spot on the couch as if he’s about to do what he always does, but then remembers he has a task. He stands up and announces that Beavis will be visited by three ghosts, or something. He then returns to the TV with a “Later, dude,” and his visage is soon replaced by the porno. Scratchit is about to get down with an actress, but just before she can remove her top the face of Tom Anderson (Judge) steps in front of her.

Anderson looks like such a dork.

This enrages Beavis who just wants to watch a porno, but Anderson comes out of the TV dressed like an angel with a goofy hat. He’s here to show Beavis his past and he does so by sitting on the couch beside him and changing the channel. He shows Beavis he and Butt-Head on Christmas day when they were five. It’s just the two of them seated on the couch as usual. As Anderson changes it to show the two age up, they just remain in the same spot. Beavis thinks his past is pretty cool, but Anderson tells him he’s wasted his life which just leads to Beavis responding with “Yeah, well at least I’m not some old fat guy.” He’s very hostile towards Anderson and tells him to get the hell out. As Anderson fades away he remarks, “You can’t lead a jackass to water and make him drink.”

Just let the guy wank it in peace!

With Anderson gone, Beavis can now resume his porno, but we all know what’s coming and I think, deep down, he does too. The girl is back on the screen, but she is soon replaced with an image of Mr. VanDriessen, Beavis’s hippy teacher. Beavis immediately gets annoyed as VanDriessen floats out of the TV in a meditative position wearing a Father Christmas robe and wreath on his head. He tells Beavis, who is furiously fighting with the remote to bring back his porno, that he can’t be tuned out. He then announces himself as the Ghost of Christmas Present, but Beavis shouts back, “No way, you’re Mr. VanDriessen and you’re pissing me off!” Beavis then realizes he said “present” and asks if he brought some Christmas presents. VanDriessen tries to explain his role here, but it’s in one ear and out the other with Beavis who instead asks more questions like can he sneak him into the girl’s locker room since he’s a ghost and all. VanDriessen does his best to ignore him and instead takes the remote to show him how Christmas is today, but Beavis just asks if they’re going to watch some bare ass.

Try to keep in mind that this is how Beavis imagines the McVicker family, though it does make me wonder what they’re really like.

We’re then shown the home of the McVickers. The family is huddled inside at the kitchen table anxiously awaiting the return of their patriarch with Christmas dinner. All of them look the same as if McVicker married a cousin, or sister, or worse, and they all shiver and moan like McVicker. There’s six kids, and one of them is just hoping for some fries while the smallest, and most sickly of the lot, hopes their dad comes home with a big bag from the dumpster! The mom cautions them not to get too carried away and urges them to keep praying. I guess their prayers are answered as Mr. McVicker does show up and in his hands is a Burger World Merry Meal. It’s basically a Happy Meal which means the family has a single cheeseburger and order of fries to share amongst themselves. It also contains their Christmas present: stick-on tattoos. The little one thinks they’re pretty great as the scene ends.

This little potato-headed kid is basically our Tiny Tim, only he won’t be saved.

On the couch, VanDriessen tries to show Beavis how a family who has nothing, like the McVickers, still have each other. Beavis doesn’t see things that way and just sees an employee stealing food. VanDriessen tries explaining that it’s the only food they’ll have this Christmas and tries to reason with Beavis by telling him that if he doesn’t give McVicker a raise his kids may not see another Christmas. Beavis is unmoved and instead vows to fire him. VanDriessen concedes that he can’t force Beavis to think a certain way and he floats off into the sky. Beavis calls him a butthole, then grabs the remote to resume his porno.

Buzzcut doesn’t screw around.

Only he doesn’t even get teased by a woman this time. Instead, it’s Coach Buzzcut (Judge) as the Ghost of Christmas Future who comes screaming out of the television to show Beavis how things will end up if he doesn’t change his ways. Beavis is quite annoyed at this latest intrusion, but Buzzcut isn’t taking any crap from him. Despite being a ghost, he’s able to grab Beavis by the ear and yank him towards him and threatens him with sodomy by Christmas tree. Beavis actually smiles at this threat and notes “That would hurt,” before Buzzcut tosses him back onto the couch and grabs the remote.

The future we all want.

He brings up the McVicker house, only now the kids are gone and it’s just Mr. McVicker and his wife. Beavis asks what happened to the kids and Buzzcut points out that this is the future and they didn’t have enough food to feed them. Beavis concludes that they must have ate them, but Buzzcut corrects him. He doesn’t actually say they’re dead, so maybe the state just took them. At any rate, Beavis disagrees with this view of the future and we’re shown a dream within a dream (Beavis and Butt-Head did it before Inception!) as we’re whisked to another version of the future. This one is more like Star Trek, but we’re in Burger World again. Butt-Head, now sporting bad teenaged facial hair, is telling a customer that he’s going to pay for his fries whether he likes it or not. When the customer demands to see the manager, Beavis comes bursting in. He basically looks like a Terminator carrying a goofy laser rifle. He lays waste to all of the customers and the building itself and then announces “I’m back. Heh, heh, this is cool.” Butt-Head thanks him for taking care of the customers, but Beavis tells him to shut up and shoots him in the dick.

This dream has officially become a nightmare.

We’re back in the living room where Beavis has concluded that the future is pretty cool. Buzzcut just grabs him by the shirt with both hands to scream at him that that is not what the future is going to look like. He reasons he’ll have to take him out of the house to show him in order to drive his point home so some mist enters through the window and a bolt of lightning shoots through the sky. We’re now in a cemetery and Beavis declares that the future kicks ass! Buzzcut just points out a nearby open grave with a headstone that reads “Here lies Beavis. He never scored.” Beavis struggles to read it, but eventually gets through it, and at first just thinks this is some loser with the same name as him. Buzzcut backhands him into the open grave and makes it clear to Beavis that this is his grave. He never left the house, just sat on the couch and watched pornography his whole life and thus never scored. Beavis sits up in the grave and finally realizes that this sucks. He’s struggling though to find a conclusion, and before he can get it out we’re back in Burger World.

Who runs this franchise? Why pay two kids to work when no one is there or will be there? Is it possible Beavis and Butt-Head know how to cash a check and essentially work for free?

Butt-Head has been shaking Beavis trying to wake him up because it’s midnight. This is setting up some Christmas realization, but when Beavis asks “So?” Butt-Head informs him it’s his turn to sleep. Beavis then tells Butt-Head he just had a dream about the future and now his conclusion is “It’s gonna be okay.” He becomes Butt-Head’s boss, has a VCR and some porn – what more could a kid want? Butt-Head concludes that this is pretty cool and Beavis declares that working on Christmas is cool too. An instrumental of “Joy to the World” accompanied by the incessant laughter of our two protagonists takes us out. As the camera pans out we see the Burger World sign which reads “Open 24 hours Xmas Day.” What an awful place to work.

Poor Beavis just gets abused throughout these segments.

Our next segment is Letters to Santa Butt-Head. In this one, Butt-Head (dressed as Santa, naturally) reads viewer mail and responds to questions while Beavis stands around dressed like a reindeer for Butt-Head to whip. The genius here is that Beavis is restrained and even has this uncomfortable harness in his mouth and we’re going to laugh at his misery. The first letter is from a kid who doesn’t like Christmas. He prefers Thanksgiving because he can eat all he wants and then go burp and poop. The duo have a giggle at the mention of poop and Santa Butt-Head promises to take a dump under his tree. The next letter is from a girl who wants a man. He should be young, blonde, and into Metallica. Butt-Head thinks he sounds like a wuss, but Beavis realizes he fits that description, but Butt-Head won’t give him the letter and whips him instead. The next one is from another girl who makes it clear she wants Beavis, but Butt-Head won’t deliver and whips Beavis some more. The next girl also plainly states she wants Beavis and will basically treat him like a pet. This leads to another disagreement, and Santa Butt-Head is a little frustrated at all of this Beavis love. Our final letter is more in his wheelhouse as it’s from some guy who just wants him to kick “the bejesus out of Beavis.” Santa Butt-Head is happy to oblige.

Now it’s Butt-Head’s turn.

The next segment is the two just watching an electronic Yule log while “Dance of the Sugar Plum” fairy plays in the background. They’re just critiquing Santa’s laugh and doing their own version while all we see is the fake log. This segment is brief and then goes into “It’s a Miserable Life” which stars Butt-Head. This one opens on an aerial shot of Highland and we hear the prayers of some of its citizens. There’s Stewart’s mom (Tracy Grandstaff), Principal McVicker, Tom Anderson, and Mr. VanDriessen, among others. They’re all asking for God to make Beavis and Butt-Head go away with McVicker explicitly asking that the lord kill the pair. I like how VanDriessen raises the possibility the pair could breed as if it’s justification for dealing with them now, even though we know the two will never score. The prayers seemingly worked though as we pan to the heavens and see two constellations, essentially, having a conversation about answering prayers. One tells the other to summon an individual named Charlie.

Would a RoboCop Christmas be cool? We may find out later on…

We then find Beavis and Butt-Head doing what they’re most often doing: watching television. They catch a bit of It’s a Wonderful Life, which is amusing because they’re parodying it as we speak. They stay on the channel just long enough for the Jimmy Stewart (Kristofor Brown) character to remark that a bunch of people gave him money so he wouldn’t kill himself! The two find this stupid and change the channel, but every channel has some “dumb Christmas thing” on including a RoboCop Christmas that might have been pretty cool. This realization forces the pair to conclude that it must be Christmas.

There’s no subtlety to Charlie’s tactics to reach Beavis and Butt-Head, and yet they still fail.

Back in the sky, the godly beings resume their discussion now that Charlie (Chris Phillips), their guardian angel, has shown up. Charlie tries to tell them he’s tried many times to reach Beavis and Butt-Head, but they’re simply unreachable. He demonstrates by going into their television where he appears on screen and talks directly to them. The two still don’t respond and Butt-Head turns the TV off in disgust. Beavis lasts about two seconds before he starts freaking out about no TV and Butt-Head has to slap him. He tells him no, this is Christmas, so lets go out and find some chicks. Beavis perks up at the suggestion and the two leave. In the heavens, Charlie is told there is no redeeming these two and he must take from them their very lives. Charlie doesn’t seem to like the suggestion, but also doesn’t exactly put forth much of a protest either. Beavis and Butt-Head must die!

They’re simple creatures at heart. Just give them porn and nachos and they’ll be set.

We next catch-up with the pair as they stand in a cinema parking lot in the pouring rain. The two don’t understand why no one is around, so they head to their favorite spot, the Maxi-Mart. When they arrive, the manager (Judge) is closing up for the night and tells the two to get lost. It’s Christmas Eve! Beavis notices there’s a new issue of Wet Hooters inside while Butt-Head laments that everything he needs for the rest of his life is behind these locked doors. Beavis kicks at them in frustration, then says “Life sucks, and then you…” and he can’t remember the rest. Butt-Head finishes the proverb for him, “and then you die, bunghole!” and the two walk off.

Is this the end for Beavis and Butt-Head?! No, of course not.

The two end up on a rather rickety looking bridge. Below, the torrential rain has caused the river to run wildly so they do the smart thing and start wrestling with each other on the narrow bridge. Charlie shows up and uses “angel powers” to make the water on the bridge freeze, but rather than slip and fall, the two complain that they’re cold and stop fighting. This frustrates Charlie who calls out to them to get their attention, but he slips and falls into the river below. Beavis and Butt-Head enjoy watching him flail around and if you thought they were going to render aid then you’re watching the wrong holiday special. When Charlie eventually makes his way back onto the bridge the two just ask if he’s going to jump again. When he informs them that he will not, they get bored and decide to leave.

There’s no intellectual curiosity with these two. Plus Charlie is stupid. If he tossed an issue of Wet Hooters off the bridge these two would certainly jump.

Charlie chases after them and is shocked to see that they have zero interest in him. When he asks the two if they’re even curious about how he knows their names, Butt-Head just responds matter-of-factly, “No.” He tries explaining the whole guardian angel thing, and then informs the two he’s actually there to relieve them of their lives. He apparently has no spine for this sort of task, so he politely suggests they go voluntarily. Butt-Head surprisingly realizes that Charlie is suggesting they jump off the bridge and refuses since they’d likely die. Beavis then theorizes that this guy might pay them to jump, and Butt-Head is the only one of the two smart enough to know that money is no good when you’re dead.

I kind of want to know who lives in the house next door to Anderson in this universe.

Charlie then gets the “bright” idea to show Butt-Head what the world would be like if he were never born. He raises his hands and calls forth a bright light which stops the bad weather, restores the bridge to something more secure, and makes Beavis vanish. Butt-Head seems to think this is cool and Charlie leads him back into town. There they find the place has come alive with the sights and sounds of Christmas. Butt-Head is confused, but Charlie tells him this is all because he was never born. The two walk past Anderson’s house and Butt-Head notes that his lawn isn’t in disrepair and Charlie, once again, explains it’s because he wasn’t there to wreck it. Anderson is standing at the end of his walkway ringing a bell and wishing everyone who walks by a merry Christmas, but as Butt-Head and Charlie walk off Butt-Head’s foot gets caught in one of the wires for his Christmas decorations which sets off a chain reaction destroying his whole display. Anderson can only slam the bell on the ground and cry out “God damnit!”

McVicker is actually a well-adjusted man in this world. Or he’s still an asshole that is willing to sing Christmas carols.

Charlie leads Butt-Head to the Burger World parking lot which is hopping since the duo of Beavis and Butt-Head haven’t ruined the restaurant’s reputation. Next, they walk past the school where Butt-Head is shocked to find McVicker leading a group of students in song. McVicker has hair and Daria is there with her boyfriend because Butt-Head wasn’t around to destroy her faith in men. Butt-Head is disgusted by what he’s seeing and demands to know where Beavis is since Beavis owes him a dollar. Charlie cautions Butt-Head that he won’t like it when he finds out. He then reveals that Beavis is with Stewart (Adam Welsh) at a homeless shelter. Butt-Head assumes Beavis is homeless and finds this cool, but we know better.

Probably not that surprising that Beavis found someone else to be number 2 to. Heh, number 2…

The two head to the homeless shelter where they immediately find Stewart ladling out soup to the homeless. He chastises a guy for going for seconds before everyone else has had a chance at firsts and kicks him out of line. Butt-Head is surprised to see Stewart acting this way, but Charlie reminds him that he wasn’t there to crush Stewart’s self-esteem. Stewart then calls out to Beavis because he needs more soup and Beavis humbly emerges from the kitchen with a fresh pot. He’s sporting a hair net and wearing a black Winger t-shirt, the same we’d usually see on Stewart (he’s wearing a blue Poison shirt), but is otherwise still Beavis, just more cheerful. Butt-Head then demands to know what Beavis is doing hanging out with Stewart and calls him a bunghole. Beavis, having never met Butt-Head before, is confused and asks, “What’s a bunghole?” Butt-Head retorts with, “You’re a bunghole – bunghole!” and Stewart jumps into the conversation to tell him you can’t define a word with itself.

This isn’t going to work, Butt-Head.

Butt-Head has had enough and demands that Beavis leave with him. He grabs Beavis by the arm who naturally resists. He starts to freak out in his usual Beavis way while Butt-Head insists he come with him on account of owing him that dollar. Eventually, a bunch of guys come to Beavis’s aid calling him a good kid and they tell Butt-Head to leave him alone. The drag him out offscreen and tell him to never come back as we hear the sound of Butt-Head getting punched. Stewart asks Beavis if he’s all right and he responds that he is while noting that they get “a lot of crazies in here.” He then repeats the word “bunghole” to himself. Remarking that he kind of likes it, he just starts saying it over and over as we fade out.

And our two heroes, having vanquished the murderous angel, walk off into the…gray.

Butt-Head is back on the bridge, and after finding that the world sucks without him, asks Charlie to undo what he has done. The weather starts to turn and the bridge turns to shit as Charlie and Beavis appear in a flash of light. Butt-Head is amazed and Beavis is wondering what he’s doing, calling him a bunghole in the process. When Butt-Head acknowledges that Beavis knows what a bunghole is, Beavis replies with “You’re a bunghole – bunghole!” With everything seemingly back to the way it was, the two walk off forcing Charlie to chase after them. As he cries out about making the world a better place, he slips and falls back into the river only this time the current takes him away presumably to his death. Beavis and Butt-Head laugh and Butt-Head shares what he’s learned today: the world sucks, but it would suck a lot more without them in it. The familiar Beavis and Butt-Head outro theme kicks in and the two head off to find some chicks.

I kind of like how the animation would get crude during the video segments, which it does here for the Yule log bit.

We’re not done though! We return to the Yule log and “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” as the two comment on how they like the song. Beavis decides it sounds like Ozzy and the two start imitating the notes of the song, but as low guitar tones. Eventually, this turns into the two doing their “Iron Man” routine before the scene fades out and is replaced with another segment of Letters to Santa Butt-Head. Butt-Head is going to read more letters and the first is from some kid named Boner. He wants Santa Butt-Head to get his dad off the crapper and to come spend Christmas with the family, but Butt-Head, having concluded this father figure must be pretty cool if he named his son Boner, tells the kid to let his dad take a crap.

We still have time for more letters from Santa Butt-Head.

Our next letter comes from Jeff Boogers who wants to know what happens to the reindeer turds when the reindeer take a dump in mid-air. “Well Jeff, they hit the ground and go ‘plop.'” The next letter is from a guy wanting to know if he kicks the ass of some guy after his chick if he’ll still get presents. Santa Butt-Head informs the gent to go ahead and kick this guy’s ass, then send his girl to Santa Butt-Head. The next letter is from a guy named Ethan who just wants to shout out his friends. Santa Butt-Head keeps telling the voice over to shut up as the shout outs ring out. Santa Butt-Head is forced to confess to Ethan that he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about any of these people.

Their prayers have been answered.

The last letter is from a woman named Karen Kleavage. She has big “thingies” and just dumped her boyfriend so she can wait naked under the tree for Beavis and Butt-Head. The two are entranced as the letter is read and shaking with excitement. Butt-Head then returns the letter to his sack while Beavis reminds him that she wants both of them. Surprisingly, Santa Butt-Head doesn’t crack the whip and instead takes this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Yuletide or something and then announces that they’re gonna score!

Santa Butt-Head needs to take his sleigh and go now, boys and girls.

And thus “Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas” is concluded. Did they score? Probably not. I think we can consider those segments non-canon, if anyone cares about what is and is not canon in the world of Beavis and Butt-Head. The special is a delightfully subversive take on the Christmas special format and the two works it is lampooning. In some ways, it shouldn’t work since as I noted in the intro these two stories have been adapted, parodied, and what-not to death at this point, but the show makes them work. It’s not a special that has a lot of observations to make about the holiday or society, it just wants to present Christmas through the lens of Beavis and Butt-Head.

The Yule log bit is a decent idea, but no substitute for actual music videos.

And that’s enough. A lot of the jokes are easy and delivered in a rather blunt manner. There are lines in this one that make me laugh out loud, but just reading them doesn’t do them justice. At this stage in the show’s production, Mike Judge has basically mastered the two and knows how to deliver his lines. He does the heavy lifting too as he’s just one of three regular voice actors. A bunch are credited as additional voices and I assume they’re the ones doing the voice overs for the Letters to Santa Butt-Head segments. I swear one of the angelic bodies sounds like Toby Huss, but he’s not credited so I guess I’m wrong. The sound design as a whole is fairly basic with jolly Christmas songs ushering in the shorts and sprinkled throughout. The no videos thing is kind of strange, but we get the Yule log segments instead. They’re nothing special, but I appreciate the effort to find a music video substitute.

Charlie got what he deserved.

The two cartoons are the meat of “Do Christmas” and they’re both pretty entertaining. I think I prefer the first segment more as the visual of Beavis pressing a rat on the grill and his frustrations about not getting to enjoy his porno do it for me. “It’s a Miserable Life” is funny as well, but is almost a little too obvious with its jokes. I wish there was one genuine surprise in the alternate timeline for Butt-Head to experience, but I don’t think that’s really the show’s style. The animation is pretty standard for an episode of the show so there’s no extra layers or anything present and that’s fine. The show is actually animated fairly well, but its style is intentionally ugly as that’s what suits it. Imagine if they had altered the style in Butt-Head’s alternate timeline? That could have been pretty fun.

“Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas” is a classic in my book because its subversive nature makes it unique. Well, it did in 1995, but since then we’ve had a lot of such specials arrive. I’m not saying this one was the first or anything, but it was one of the first I personally encountered. And I like the show and it makes me laugh. I enjoy every holiday season watching Mickey, Garfield, and the Grinch with my kids, but I also enjoy putting this one on after I’ve sent them to bed. If you would like to do the same this year, “Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas” was released on DVD many moons ago alongside “Butt-O-Ween” and can still be found for a reasonable sum. It’s also streaming on Paramount+ where it’s listed among the Mike Judge Collection of episodes. I think it lacks the log and letters segments, but does contain both cartoons.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 15 – South Park – “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo”

Today we are continuing our look back at the best of the best when it comes to Christmas specials and today’s entrant comes from the quiet, mountain, town of South Park. South Park burst onto the scene in 1997 and basically transformed the Comedy Central network from the get-go. The show about four foul-mouthed kids…

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Dec. 15 – Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

It’s December 15 which means it’s time for another retro throwback and I bet you’re surprised to see the green guy here. Since I dubbed Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! as the best ever Christmas special not just once, but twice, you may have expected it to appear on this year’s edition in…

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Dec. 14 – All Grown Up! – The Finster Who Stole Christmas

Original air date December 7, 2004

In 2001, Rugrats had the honor of being the first Nicktoon to make it 10 years. The path to that honor was not a smooth one as the show had effectively been cancelled in 1993 with the third season. That appeared to not be performance related, but more strategic on the part of Nickelodeon as the Nicktoons brand was a constantly changing block of cartoons. It was only when the network realized that reruns of Rugrats were not only their highest rated program, but one of the highest rated cable programs in general did it finally decide that maybe keeping the show in production was a good idea. The show would end up lasting for 9 seasons with the final, new, episode airing in 2004. A new series has since been launched that returned some of the original cast and it would appear that Rugrats is not going anywhere anytime soon.

For that tenth anniversary episode the show aired the two-part special “All Growed Up.” The episode was a flash-forward and fans of the show got to see what the babies would be like as pre-teens. It’s one of the last Rugrats episodes I can remember watching. I did not come back to the show when it resumed in 1995 and I didn’t see any of the movies it spawned, but I was curious enough about “All Growed Up” to give it a look. I really don’t remember anything about the episode, but I do recall my number one takeaway from it was that this special was destined to become a series of its own. And it did! The special was a massive success scoring a 7.2 rating when it originally aired making it the number one cable show that week. It’s estimated that 70% of children in the show’s target demographic tuned in and those were numbers that Nickelodeon could not ignore. They almost immediately ordered 35 episodes of the show and on April 12, 2003 All Grown Up! debuted.

It’s probably a stretch to call them all grown up, but they’re definitely not babies anymore.

All Grown Up! returned basically all of the cast members who were still alive from the original show. At that point, Nancy Cartwright had replaced Christine Cavanaugh as the voice of Chuckie while David Doyle, voice of Grandpa Lou, had passed away in 1997. The show would run for five seasons totaling 55 episodes and aired its final episode on August 17, 2008. The show’s third season (which was part of that initial 35 episode order so we’re talking broadcast seasons) premiered on December 7, 2004 with the Christmas episode “The Finster Who Stole Christmas.” Rugrats had become known for its holiday specials as it was one of the few to dedicate full episodes to Jewish holidays. It was also no stranger to Christian holidays like Christmas thanks to the main character’s family being a mixed household. It’s easy to look back on that decision as one of genius since it creates easy opportunities for holiday episodes, but back in the 90s Jewish holidays were not thought of as marketable. Rugrats blew that preconception to dust as its Passover and Chanukah specials did big ratings proving that audiences just like to see their favorite characters celebrating their chosen holidays.

All of the regulars are back, except Anjelica who isn’t in this episode. Plus Dill, whom I’m too old to think of as a regular.

The show begins with this very generic alternative rock song performed by Cree Summer on vocals. I don’t particularly care for it and I miss the more whimsical charm of the original series’ intro. When it’s done, we find ourselves at a school. It’s pretty well decorated for Christmas and the bell has rung to release a horde of preteens upon the world. Dill Pickles (Tara Strong) is walking with his brother Tommy (E.G. Daily) and explaining to him how he believes that Christmas gets all of the best songs as he compares it to Chanukah. Tommy tries to offer up “The Dreidel Song” as a counterpoint, but seems to concede that yes, it’s not a particularly good song. They’re walking along with Chuckie (Cartwright), Susie (Cree Summer), and the twins Phil and Lil (Kath Soucie). Phil informs the group that his mom just burnt a whole bunch of angel cookies so they’re up for grabs. It would seem this is the show’s way of retaining how Phil, the baby, was always interested in eating gross items. This leads to a brief discussion about how the gang plans to spend the holidays with Susie mentioning she landed a big role in her church’s choir. All of the kids are really supportive of her and let her know they’ll be sure to attend her performance which is really sweet. One kid is conspicuously quiet though and that’s Chuckie.

This is pretty much how I expected Chuckie to turn out.

As the gang heads home, Chuckie lags in the back with his head down. Dill starts explaining to his brother how he has plans to create the world’s best Chanukah song and wants his brother’s help. Tommy thinks this is actually a pretty good idea considering the dearth of quality Chanukah songs. Dill is pretty sure of himself pointing out how he believes he’s an excellent singer in the shower and he makes up songs in there every day! Susie then recaps everyone’s holiday plans for us and in the process informs the audience that Anjelica is away on a ski trip, and then turns to Chuckie to ask what he’s got going on for the holidays. Chuckie just sighs and says, “Oh, the usual – high expectations met by crushing disappointment.”

Chuckie doesn’t have a lot of happy Christmas memories. Or really any.

We cut to what I assume is Chuckie’s bedroom. He and Tommy are watching a video on the television that’s apparently Chuckie’s Christmas gift to his dad: 20 years of Christmas home movies compiled on one DVD. We get to see glimpses of the many Finster Christmases and they’re all pretty terrible. There’s often a tree falling over, Chuckie crying (the tape begins before Chuckie is born, hence why it can total more years than Chuckie’s been alive), and Chuckie’s dad running out of frame due to some catastrophe. Chuckie is longing for a nice Christmas, one that’s more celebratory, but concedes that his dad’s mantra is “Christmas starts with family and ends with family.” He’s not really into the flashy stuff. When Tommy points out how the tree in every scene on the tape is pretty sickly looking it gives Chuckie an idea. If he can get a nice tree this year then that will be the way to setting the proper mood for his holiday.

Braving the cold to get the Finster Family Christmas tree!

The scene transitions to one of Chas (Michael Bell) leading his son Chuckie through the snow apparently in search of a tree. When the camera zooms out we see they’re actually just at a tree lot and the snow is being created by a snow machine. They’re still dressed rather warmly, but I do think this show is meant to take place somewhere in the southwest where there probably isn’t typically snow and frigid weather. The tree lot attendant shows Chas a nice looking tree that he seems to be in awe of. And that’s the problem. Chas Finster is a simple man and doesn’t like flashy items. He’s also probably very pragmatic when it comes to expenses, but Chuckie tries to tell him that buying a big tree is sort of like buying in bulk which is something his dad is prone to do. Chas reminds him that he only buys corn dogs and eyedrops in bulk, which apparently explains the added girth Chas possesses when compared to his character in Rugrats.

Chas and Clark Griswold have very different takes on what the family tree should look like.

Chas then comes across the perfect tree! It’s actually in the kindling section and the tree attendant is surprised that anyone would show interest in what are essentially needle-less sticks. He also positions himself in front of the kindling sign to conceal it from Chas’s view so that he can extract a little more money out of him since he’s committed the cardinal sin as a consumer in letting a salesman know that he’s very interested. The person not interested is Chuckie. When Chas asks for a price, he’s given 20 bucks though a small amount of snow falls on the tree and snaps the top off so the salesman immediately changes the price to 15. Chuckie can only hang his head in embarrassment when his dad tells him they’ll come back tomorrow for by then it will likely only be ten!

Now if you saw this while out for a walk how would you interpret the situation for the tree?

We next find Chuckie sullenly walking up a sloping sidewalk kicking a pinecone in frustration. He kicks it a bit too hard and it manages to knock someone’s Santa Claus decoration from their roof. Chuckie runs over to pick Mr. Claus up, but when he does he notices a Christmas tree bound with twine left leaning on someone’s garbage bin. Chuckie runs over in disbelief that someone would be throwing out a perfectly good tree, but gives it no further thought since fortune has apparently smiled upon him this day. As he drags the tree out of sight, some guy emerges from the house with a puzzled look on his face as he calls to his offscreen wife asking where’s the tree?

Chuckie went at this all wrong, he should have focused on the fire hazard the other tree would have presented. This one is much safer.

Chuckie struggles to get the tree home, but he manages to pull it off with only a minor concussion. He then has his dad cover his eyes so he can lead him into the living room to see what he brought home. When Chas opens his eyes his reaction is actually rather positive. I guess it’s pretty much in-line with how he responded to the resplendent tree at the lot, which is also why he shifts gears pretty quickly and remarks it’s not really a Finster tree. Chuckie points out that’s because it’s green, but then hangs his head once more and tells his dad they can get rid of it if he doesn’t like it. Chas immediately starts reassuring his son that it’s fine and he likes the tree. He gives him a concerned smile while Chuckie returns a more genuine one of his own as his Christmas wish is coming together nicely.

I guess these kids hang out at a coffee shop, because coffee is good for 10 year olds.

Our next scene takes place at the Java Lava Cyber Cafe. When did we stop calling cafes with internet access “Cyber” cafes and just went back to calling them cafes since they basically all have wi-fi now? A mall Santa comes walking out somewhat nervously ready to sip his hot coffee while inside Phil appears to be decorating. Dill and Tommy are rocking out on some keyboard while Chuckie and Susie just hang out eating popcorn. My guess is, since Phil and Lil’s mother Betty was always big into coffee in the original show, this is her place of business and the kids help out. It’s also probably a frequent hang out spot for them in the show (I’ve never watched a single episode until now).

Yup, looks like everything is falling into place and Chuckie is going to have the best damn Christmas ever!

Dill and Tommy’s song sounds pretty terrible and the two seem to know it as Tommy proposes they take a break. Dill seems less aware, but is in agreement on account that he’s creatively spent. Betty (Soucie) and Lil come walking in with trays of holiday themed beverages. They sound pretty awful with names like honey baked java, yam latte, and figgy pudding macchiato. Everyone is reluctant to partake, all except Chuckie who downs a cup of one of the likely terrible concoctions. Lil points out that it’s not like Chuckie to be the brave one, but he’s rather content at the moment and chalks it up to an abundance of holiday spirit. Phil sees this as an opening to bring up that someone in the neighborhood recently had their Christmas tree stolen. Chuckie does a spit-take when he hears about it while everyone has some rather choice words to share about the thief. Chuckie, growing visibly sick at the realization he likely stole someone’s tree, runs off to the bathroom clutching his stomach. Betty just assumes it’s related to her drinks, “Looks like that’s a big ‘No’ on the fig latte,” is the punch line used to go out on.

Or not…

After the break, we find Chuckie outside hyperventilating into a paper bag while Tommy exclaims “You stole a Christmas tree!” Chuckie apparently used the act break to explain partly what happened, though we get to hear him tell Tommy he thought they were throwing it away. He’s quite worried about getting run out of town while Tommy tries to calm him down. Since it was a simple misunderstanding, Tommy sees no reason why Chuckie can’t just tell his dad what happened and return the tree. Chuckie perks up at the idea, and this seems like a pretty simple solution to the episode’s plot. Now what are we going to do for the remaining 15 minutes or so?

Chuckie’s tree has apparently ignited the Christmas spirit deep within his father.

Tommy and Chuckie return to Chuckie’s house where the two are happy to find the tree just standing there undecorated. This seems to affirm in Chuckie’s mind that his dad didn’t even like the tree anyway, which is an assumption that’s about to be shattered. I knew we couldn’t just wrap this thing up so neatly! Chas comes waltzing into the house with his arms full of Christmas ornaments. Chuckie is surprised to see his dad bought new ones, and then Betty enters in behind him to inform him he bought more than just that. Apparently, Chuckie’s tree really pointed out to his dad how shoddy their Christmases were and the old guy has gone Christmas crazy! He’s even got gingerbread cooking in the oven so he can construct an entire gingerbread village right down to the emergency call boxes. Chuckie had initially told his dad he needed to tell him something before he saw all of this Christmas stuff, but now he has literal Christmas stars in his eyes and can’t bring himself to tell him the truth. Instead, he just says he wishes his step mother and step sister could be here, but Chas tells him not to worry as they should be boarding their plane home right about now. Earlier, we learned the two were in Japan and coming home on Christmas Eve so we’re basically right up against the holiday at this point. We then get a quick check on the two as Kira (Julia Kato) and Kimi (Dionne Quan) are being informed by a ticket agent that they’ve been bumped from their flight home. Looks like we’re going to need to order a Christmas miracle.

That truck driver was an asshole.

Chuckie and Tommy are outside the Finster home where Chuckie confesses to a somewhat disinterested Tommy that he just couldn’t bring himself to tell his dad what happened. Chuckie sort of rambles on while Tommy can’t get over how good the gingerbread is that Chuckie’s dad made. Chuckie then gets the idea that to solve his problem he just needs to buy a new tree for the family he stole from. Tommy points out how expensive that tree was, but Chuckie brushes aside his concern as he’s been schooled in the Finster art of tree shopping! We cut to the tree lot where only one, scraggly, tree remains and the attendant wants 50 bucks for it. Chuckie literally drops to his knees begging for a better deal, but he’s just met with a “Supply and demand” explanation. We then cut to Tommy and Chuckie carrying the tree with Tommy pointing out how Chuckie had saved all year for that money. Chuckie must have given in, but he’s at least comforted by the fact that he still has a little over 3 bucks left. He pauses to scratch his nose and in doing so lets go of the tree. Tommy does as well, for some reason, and it flops into the street and is predictably run over by a passing truck leaving it in shambles. Chuckie sadly picks up what’s left of it which at least kind of resembles a Christmas tree, albeit at only 9 inches tall. Tommy tries to cheer him up by saying maybe it will look nice with some tinsel or something, but there’s no fixing this mess.

One Christmas tree goes missing and Betty starts reevaluating her security measures. She’s definitely one of those parents that will accidentally shoot one of her kids when they get caught sneaking back into the house after a night out.

A close-up of Betty installing a security camera takes us back into the Java Lava. Susie is working the register while Dill is apparently still working on that song. He asks her what rhymes with dreidel, but Susie just tells him nothing does (how about ladle?) and supposes that’s why there’s so few Chanukah songs. Tommy and Chuckie come walking in and Lil immediately notes that Chuckie has a case of the holiday blues. Betty then draws attention to her new surveillance system and blames the tree thief for the holiday blues going around. Susie reassures everyone not to worry about that and when Chuckie asks why she theorizes that “the big man upstairs” will take notice. I wasn’t sure if she meant Santa or God, but then suggests a smiting shall be upon them which answers that. This freaks Chuckie out and as Betty turns on her camera she tells Chuckie to “Say cheese,” but finds the kid has run off. You would think they would start to piece some things together at this point.

You know Chas, there is such a thing as too much Christmas spirit.

Chuckie heads home only to find his dad rehearsing Christmas carols with a group of authentic looking carolers. Chuckie is bewildered at this continued outpouring of Christmas spirit from his father and is further surprised when he finds out they’re rehearsing for the Christmas party Chas intends to host. He even declares that from now on the name Finster will be associated with Christmas fun! This turn is so intense on the part of Chas that I’m starting to think this is all a dream, but I don’t think so. Chuckie declines the invitation to join in on the fun and tells his dad he’s off to bed instead. Chas doesn’t pick up on any distress in his son, and in his defense I’m guessing Chuckie is frequently mopey, and instead just has everyone whisper their song instead.

This is how Chuckie tortures himself when he sleeps. You know, that family bought an expensive tree, they’re probably not hurting for money.

With Chuckie in bed, it is time for a dream sequence. Chuckie dreams himself outside the home of the family he stole from while the sound of sobbing can be heard coming from inside. He peers through the window and finds a rather Dickensian looking family seated at the table. They appear to be very poor as a young boy consoles his sobbing mother. The daughter curses the one who stole from them while the father instructs her to essentially turn the other cheek. As they prepare to say grace, Chuckie runs off into the woods where he encounters a new creature: the Christmas tree! It speaks to him, and when Chuckie questions who he is, the tree responds rhetorically and turns into a burning bush. Chuckie wakes up with a startle in his bed repeating to himself that he’s going to be smited, wicked smited. I find it weird that he sleeps with his glasses on.

I’ve never known anyone to get upset about getting stuck in Hawaii.

Time to check in with Kimi and Kira who are now in Hawaii. Kira is on the phone with Chas while an airline employee claims to have good news for them. She thinks it’s about their luggage, which has gone missing, but he just wants to offer some macadamia nuts to them. Kira is trying to keep it together, but Kimi attempts to leap across the counter and grab the guy. Kira informs her daughter that he’s probably doing everything he can to locate their luggage, but rather than confirm that assumption the man just keeps waving the little bag of nuts in her face. She sighs and accepts the meager offering. I suspect she’s going to explode next time we check-in on these two.

Back in 2004, the mall was still clinging to life.

Chuckie, Phil, and Lil are next seen strolling through the mall. It must be Christmas Eve at this point and they’re basically exactly where I wouldn’t want to be. Tommy and Dill are there too and Dill is still trying to come up with a song. Tommy points out they only have two days until Christmas, so I guess my assumption was off. As was Chuckie’s earlier explanation that his mother and sister were coming home on Christmas Eve, unless they were planning on all of these travel nightmares they’re going through.

Chuckie, you’re already in enough trouble, you don’t need to go picking a fight with Santa.

It’s at this point that everyone has basically taken notice of Chuckie’s mood, and it becomes harder to ignore when he stops dead in his tracks to basically curse out a display Christmas tree. It’s located where the mall Santa has taken his perch and Chuckie confronts him to share his opinion that the holiday has turned into a sham. He points out a tacky holiday advertisement to support his claim, but the Santa doesn’t really seem to care. Tommy tries to pull his friend away and Chuckie agrees to back down, but not without one of Santa’s freebie candy canes! He lunges for it and at this point a bunch of helpers emerge to the sound of alarms to pry the Finster away.

The smiting has begun!

Tommy and the others lead Chuckie to a bench. He apparently got to keep the candy cane and I would say he’s rather fortunate to not be tossed out of the mall at this point. I’m betting that sly Tommy was able to talk him out of any further punishment. Lil asks Chuckie what’s gotten into him and then confesses that it’s kind of attractive. I’m guessing that normally such a declaration from Lil, or any girl, would knock Chuckie off of his feet, but he’s too far down in the dumps now. No longer able to take it, he tells the rest of his friends that he’s the sicko who stole the tree! Tommy quickly jumps to the defense of his bestie telling the others it was an honest mistake. Chuckie insists he’s in real trouble with the man upstairs, but Lil assures him that God won’t smite him. I thought they were purposely avoiding the mention of God until Lil jumped in there. Chuckie disagrees pointing out that he even has elves on his case now. He suspects a smiting is in order and tells his friends they should keep their distance. Right on cue, sparks start raining down on Chuckie, but it’s from someone welding a banister above them (pretty odd to do while the mall is open). Chuckie is beyond consoling and begins to leave and then has to move faster when more sparks start showering him.

The party is our chance to see how time has treated the other adults. Not so well. Lil looks like she’s had a bit too much eggnog. Howard appears to be near death.

It’s party time at the Finster residence! Not only are those carolers present, but Chas hired a full, live-action, nativity scene as well. He really has gone all out. We also get to see all of the adults we’ve been denied up until now. Howard, Phil and Lil’s dad, is looking rather feeble while Didi and Stu have aged more gracefully. The entire Pickels clan decided to wear formal attire, but Chas is doing the same so maybe that was encouraged? One person not in a suit is Chuckie and Tommy finds him sulking in a corner thoroughly miserable. He points out that this is the Christmas he’s always wanted and he couldn’t be more unhappy. The phone rings and it’s Kira and Chas has the Christmas wind knocked out of him when he finds out the two are stuck in Mexico. Chuckie blames himself and feels he’s essentially cursed his family’s Christmas by stealing that tree. Tommy points out that he could potentially fix this since he’s the one who stole it. When Chuckie asks how Tommy replies, “By stealing it.”

It’s nice to see they still go on adventures, just now they’re crimes.

We then find the crew dressed like ninjas and lurking outside the Finster house later that night. Stealing a Christmas tree is clearly a five kid job. They come to the window where Tommy whips out old reliable – his screwdriver, and uses it to break into the house. Chuckie points out that they can go through the door, but the others seem really invested in this ninja stuff. At least Tommy is, and as he makes various hand gestures to the others they just return them with confused looks. He then just tells them to get the tree. They try to shove it out the window, ornaments and all, but it’s a tight fit prompting Chuckie to remind them that the door is still an option.

The “cool” has evaporated.

In Mexico, we find Kira and Kimi on the streets. The good news is they appear to have all of their luggage, the bad news is they’re going to miss Christmas. Kira seems a little frazzled as well with the mariachi playing in her ear and street vendors repeatedly trying to sell her items. Kimi tells her mom she’s proud of her, and when Kira asks why, it’s because she’s managed to keep her cool throughout all of this. That means she’s about to lose it and does when some rando tries to swipe the cab she hailed. She grabs the man by the collar and throws him to the ground while recounting her misadventures up until now in case we needed a quick recap.

Chuckie is the only kid to ever wake up happy to find his Christmas tree stolen.

With that out of the way, we can return to the tree plot. The kids place the tree on the stoop of its rightful home and ring the bell. Then, for some reason, they stand around a moment until a light comes on inside and at that point they finally run. We cut to the next morning and Chas is discovering the missing tree. He apologizes to Chuckie, but the son is happy to just curse those tree thieves that have been making the rounds. As Chuckie dramatically cries out “Why?” Chas concludes that he should have listened to Betty’s warning and given Chuckie “that dog early.” Chuckie then excitedly asks if he’s getting a dog, but Chas just says “No.” He then wonders why someone would steal a Christmas tree, but leave behind “a Kid-Vid X-Game?” In this universe Kid-Vid must have broken free from the Burger King Kid’s Club. Chuckie then repeats the previous gag by asking if he’s getting such a game and Chas deadpans, “No,” once more. Does he know what really happened and is just torturing his son at this point?

Oh look, the family is all together at Christmas. Who could have predicted that?

Chas concludes that Christmas is ruined and draws his son in close and is puzzled at the presence of pine needles in Chuckie’s hair. That’s it, Chuckie is done keeping things from his dad and confesses to stealing the tree not once, not twice, but three times! He then concedes that he’s confused about how many times he stole it (I think it was just twice, Chuckie) and Chas just calmly tells him to explain what happened. And he…doesn’t? He just tells his dad that he wanted a big Christmas like everyone else and that’s it. Before Chas can ask a presumed follow-up question, the door opens and Kira and Kimi come waltzing in. The family embraces and Chas gets to give his son a lesson by showing him they don’t have nothing and repeats the mantra about family and Christmas. Kira is pretty amazed to see how festive the house is, but then asks about the lack of a tree. Chuckie suggests he tell them about that over breakfast. Kira then pulls out a bonsai tree and declares that anything is better than one of Chas’s trees and hands him what I assume is a little gift she brought back from Japan. They place it in the spot vacated by the Christmas tree and the sound of Susie singing “The First Noel” fills our ears.

Here’s that Susie solo we were promised.

As Susie sings we get to see the camera pan over the town and its festive decorations. I thought we were going to check-in on the other families, but no, instead we are taken to the church as the sun goes down. Inside, Susie is singing and all of her friends and their families are gathered just as they promised. When Susie finishes her song she announces that their Jewish friends have something to share as well. This is Tommy and Dill’s cue to launch into this Chanukah song they’ve been working on. It’s an ode to latkes, and most of the audience seems amused by it. Didi, surprisingly, does not. I also notice a lack of Grandpa Lou in attendance which had me running to a wiki to see if he was dead. He’s not supposed to be so I guess he’s just asleep in front of the TV.

And, of course, the Chanukah song as well. I’m guessing Dill is one of those characters that always wears a hat.

That’s it though as the episode ends with a pan up and out of the church as the audience applauds the silly song about latkes. That wasn’t bad and I was surprised at how effortlessly these characters just sort of slip into teenagers. I thought they might have felt forced into these somewhat new personas, but it all felt natural. The episode also didn’t feel like it had to get everyone into it. The cast is rather large now and likely a tad cumbersome, but I was surprised we didn’t get a quick cut to see what Anjelica was doing. Only Betty and Chas of the adult characters had any lines, not that we needed to hear from anyone else, but I was still surprised. Usually these holiday episodes feel the need to get everyone involved, but not All Grown Up!

The only plot in this one that mattered was Chuckie’s. The bit with his step mother and sister only existed to make Chuckie feel bad and that God was out to get him for stealing a Christmas tree. Even so, it was a rather low stakes plot considering it was a misunderstanding. A rational person would have righted the wrong fairly quickly, but that wouldn’t be very dramatic. We had to wait until the last minute for everything to be set right, though Chuckie really didn’t have any comeuppance. I guess his torture was all the comeuppance he needed. The subplot about the song was unnecessary, though I liked that the episode did end at the church since it was mentioned by Susie early on and I like that her friends are all supportive of her. It’s also somewhat quaint to see a church-going community on television in 2004. The Simpsons has been doing it for awhile, but even with that show it feels like a throwback to a bygone era.

There are a couple of subplots, but the only that matters is Chuckie’s.

And speaking of, the “villain” of the episode being God was pretty interesting. Well, I suppose technically the villain was Chuckie, but he feared God’s retribution and the almighty was even named. That’s definitely rare for a kid’s show, but it did make sense here considering we’re dealing with tweens. It would have felt really silly for Chuckie to fear getting coal in his stocking or something. If the show were Not Quite Grown Up and the kids were in elementary school then sure. They don’t outright say anything about Santa not being real, but it’s implied with Chuckie asking his dad what he got him for Christmas. I suppose Chuckie could have feared the police or another threat instead, but God works.

As for the production, this is still very much a Klasky-Csupo show. Character models are still pretty weird and almost purposefully ugly. The aged-up babies actually all look a lot less monstrous now, maybe it’s simply the hair? If it weren’t for the purple hair, Tommy would look fairly normal. Chuckie looks about the same, while I really dug Lil’s updated design. She has some flair, Phil as well, and I don’t know that I would have predicted that out of the twins. There’s a lot of wardrobe changes too for an animated show and I certainly appreciated the variety. The show is almost mean to the adults though. They all look like they aged 20 years, not 10 or whatever it’s supposed to be. Poor Howard looked the worst, but at least he’s still with Betty. I thought she would have left him for another woman by now. Mark Mothersbaugh is still the composer for the show, but his score is not really evocative at all of the one in place for Rugrats. I’m guessing that was tailor-made for a show about babies and this one needs to be about tweens, but in doing so it lost a lot of personality. Nothing about it stood out to me. At least the character voices all sound great. I’m not sure if they had to modulate Daily and Strong in post at all, but I was impressed with how low they were able to go with their voices. Soucie’s Phil and Lil were left mostly unchanged and same for Summer’s Susie. I actually don’t have much exposure to Cartwright’s Chuckie, but I think it’s basically the same between the two shows with maybe just a bit more confidence in the delivery since he’s no longer a baby stumbling over words.

At least the kid got to experience some fleeting moments of Christmas bliss.

I don’t know that I’ll ever get around to it, but I am curious about the rest of the show. I also wonder if Nickelodeon will ever bring these characters back as high school aged kids. The original audience of the show is approaching 40 at this point, so maybe that ship has sailed. Do those kids want to see them as adults? I was only a casual Rugrats viewer back in the day and I can safely say the idea of adult Rugrats doesn’t interest me. Maybe as a special, but what would I want from it? Can Rugrats be cynical or will everyone be leading happy, healthy, adult lives? I don’t know, but considering these characters are babies once again in the new show, that seems like something pretty far off.

If you want to spend Christmas in agony with Chuckie, All Grown Up! can be found streaming on Paramount+. There, this episode is listed as the seventh in the third season for some reason, but it’s there for you if you wish to view it. I doubt that Nick will air it, but I suppose you never know. You might as well pair it with the other Rugrats holiday specials, they’re all pretty good (the secret best one is actually the Mother’s Day episode), and you’re likely to have a good time whether you’re a kid, adult, or just a kid at heart.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

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