Category Archives: Television

Action Figures!

It’s been almost a year since I made my initial entry talking about my affection for collecting things.  In that entry, I mentioned how I used to collect action figures.  I loved action figures as a kid, even more so than video games.  Action figures were my go-to toy when I needed to entertain myself.  I even separate my childhood into phases based on what line of action figures dominated my playtime.  In chronological order, they are:  Ghostbusters, TMNT, and X-Men/Spider-Man.  That basically took me from age four to ten or eleven.  Around that age playing with action figures and acting out climactic battles starts to feel childish, plus puberty kicks in which brings along a whole host of new interests and time-wasters.  Most of those toys are gone now, either sold at yard sales or thrown away.  I have most of my X-Men and Spider-Man ones, and I did save the original TMNT line and movie line, not because they’re worth anything, just because I’m sentimental.

Once I hit my late teens I started working a part-time job and soon found myself with disposable income for the first time in my life.  Most kids my age probably spent their money on booze and drugs, I ended up buying toys.  I’m not saying that makes me better than most of my peers, actually it kind of makes me a dork.  New action figures were way better than anything I ever had and they impressed the Hell out of me.  It didn’t make much sense to me, but I started buying more and more.  At first it was a figure here or there, then it started to become whole lines.  I’d buy what I thought looked cool, and then I’d just buy everything.  It was a compulsion.  This lasted probably from the time I was 16 until 22.  At that point in time I was living on my own, I had no place to really put more toys, and the Marvel Legends line switched from Toy Biz to Hasbro and went down the crapper.  Since then I’ve bought a few toys here and there, but by and large I’m done unless I have a kid who gets action figures.

To break up the monotony of all of these video game posts of late, I thought now would be a good time to go digging through some boxes and come up with my 10 favorite action figures.  And by favorite, I mostly mean favorite looking with some addition of intrinsic value taking hold as well.  If I were to make a list of my favorite and most played with toys it would have been an entirely different list.  These are, for the most part, all modern action figures that I acquired in my teens and twenties.  Most of them are from the world of comics, with some cartoon characters as well.  Before I get to my list, let’s take some time out for one honorable mention:

Turtle Trolls

There are some pretty cool gimmick action figures out there.  Lego versions of popular characters come to mind as well as Lego-type toys like Mini Mates and Kubricks.  The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have had many such gimmicks that range from cool to embarrassing.  This one such cross-over falls somewhere in between, though for many it might fall into the embarrassing category.  Treasure Trolls were really popular in the early ’90s.  They didn’t do anything and were cheaply made, but for some reason kids had to have them.  Seeing an opportunity for a cross-over, Playmates and whoever made Treasure Trolls combined the TMNT brand with the trolls and the result was Turtle Trolls.  These things are quite silly, but terribly cute.  They still look mostly like turtles, just with big, colorful hair.  The accessories they came with were mined from existing Turtles figures and really don’t make much sense (Leonardo has the stone katanas that came with Cave Turtle Leo, for instance) but I guess Playmates felt they couldn’t just go with normal weapons.  For whatever reason, I liked this gimmick as a kid and still like it today which is why I still have a set of Turtle Trolls.

Honorable mention out of the way, time for the The Nostalgia Spot’s Top 10 Action Figures!

10. Marvel Legends Green Goblin/Spider-Man Classics Hobgoblin

I couldn’t separate these two, and since they’re so similar, they both get to share spot #10.  Hobgoblin was treated quite well by Toy Biz in the aughts as he received two really sharp figures.  The first Spider-Man Classics Hobgoblin was based on his demonic appearance.  Creatively, the sculpt took some liberties in making him look quite fearsome and the sculpter opted for brown instead of orange for the costume which gave the character a certain gritty-ness not seen in the comics.  As cool as it was, I prefer the more traditional take that came later.  This Hobgoblin is picture perfect when compared with the comic book character.  The colors are vibrant and clean and he wasn’t given some cheesy action feature that could detract from the sculpt.  The pumpkin bomb is permanently affixed to his left hand, but that doesn’t really bother me.  The Green Goblin is every bit as good.  He’s from the Marvel Legends line from the Onslaught wave.  The colors are a bit darker as the Legends line tried to appeal more to adults than the Spider-Man Classics line.  Perhaps a more vibrant paint job would have been more comic accurate, but this works just fine.  It’s not the worst thing in the world to downplay the purple and green color scheme.  Like Hobgoblin, his pumpkin bomb is also permanently attached to his hand.  His glider also has a nice stand for displaying instead of the more cartoonish smoke cloud that Hobgoblin has.  I like the angle the glider’s wings are at too, as it makes the figure much easier to pose.

9.  IF Labs Super Saiyan Vegeta

Dragon Ball Z was a big reason for my renewed interest in action figures.  I got into the series as a teen which made the action figures suddenly appealing.  For awhile, they were terrible as the US distributer, Irwin,  just re-released the old Bandai and AB figures which had long since become outdated.  Eventually, Irwin would start producing its own figures.  There were some growing pains, and the normal five inch line was geared more towards kids than collectors, but they ended up putting out some worthwhile stuff.  Their high grade collector line, IF Labs, had its share of misses but had some hits as well.  IF Labs focused more on the DBZ films, and this version of Vegeta is from the The Return of Cooler OVA.  Articulation wise, the figure leaves something to be desired as its pretty basic, but the sculpt and paint job is bad ass.  Vegeta was one of my favorites from the show, and I was stoked to pick this one up.  He’s around 7″ tall, making him short compared to the rest of the line but still larger than the standard line of action figures.  Irwin/IF never made a better Vegeta than this one, and arguably never produced a better figure than this one.

8. Marvel Legends Apocalypse

Not to be confused with the series 7 Apocalypse action figure, this is the massive build-a-figure Apocalypse from series 12.  At that point, Toy Biz had started releasing each figure in a wave with a piece of a larger figure.  This particular wave of figures came with a piece of the world’s oldest mutant, Apocalypse.  This was a welcomed figure as the series 7 Apocalypse was not well-received.  He was short and fat and a rather poor representation of the figure.  Most figures in the Legends line could trace their appearance to a certain point in time, but that Apocalypse really had no comic counterpart.  This one was true to the likeness of Apocalypse from the ’80s, just huge.  Yeah it would have been nice to have a 6″ scaled Apocalypse as this one is perhaps too big (even though one of Apocalypse’s many mutant powers was the ability to grow in size) but still pretty awesome.  He’s hefty too and one solid figure.  This Apocalypse was the last of the standard waves of figures to feature a build-a-figure of this size.  Future ones were much smaller in scale, which really diminished their coolness (especially for the series 13 Onslaught).  This Apocalypse is a mix of blue and black, though apparently some pieces were colored black where they should have been blue so there are a few more black Apocalypse’s floating around.  The range of motion on his legs is a bit limited, and he’s so top-heavy that he can be hard to stand.  The rest of the figure features typical Marvel Legends articulation.  In the original batch of figures one of his cables was missing and collectors had to go to Toy Biz for a replacement.  As you can see, I went through the effort to have a complete Apocalypse.

7. Unifive Ultimate Saiyan Vegeta

The only character to appear twice on my list, this Vegeta is of a much smaller scale than the previous one and attempts to capture the character in all of his forms from the anime.  It doesn’t quite pull that trick off, but he’s pretty cool nonetheless.  Unifive is a Japanese company and as such this is a Japanese figure that was never released in the US.  He was pretty costly at the time, and has only become more costly since release.  The figure is probably less than 5″ tall though I assume that’s so he can fit in with the other figures from the line (I don’t own any of the other ones).  His coloring is also supposed to resemble the manga more than the anime which basically just means he’s a little darker than usual.  The articulation is rather interesting as it’s mostly cut joints instead of ball joints.  He’s capable of a variety of poses but the cut joints hide the articulation well and make him easy to display.  He comes with a bunch of accessories that I didn’t feel like digging out.  As such, only a couple are displayed in the picture.  He came with four heads:  regular, super saiyan, majin, and oozaru (great ape).  The oozaru head includes damaged saiyan armor like what he wore in his first appearance.  He has a display base that’s just some barren ground with little saibamen heads poking out.  There’s an attachable mountain to cover-up the heads and a little tiny Goku clicks into it so you can display Vegeta in his ape form and he’s actually to scale with Goku!  He also has a removable tail and scouter.  It would have been nice if he had some shoulder pads to more accurately depict him in his Saiyan Saga attire.  There’s also no top to pair with the Majin Vegeta head for an accurate portrayal of that character.  The second set of figures from Unifive (featuring Trunks and Gohan) would do a much better job of accounting for the different looks of the characters.  Short-comings aside, this is my favorite 5″ scale DBZ figure.

6.  Marvel Legends Sentinel

Another build-a-figure, and this one really made use of the format.  This is a more modern take on the Sentinel character from X-Men and he’s pretty bad ass.  Pieces of this figure were distributed in wave 10 which had a very X-Men feel to it.  The coloring is muted and gritty and great care was taken to sculpt the more mechanical parts of the figure making a giant red and purple robot seem almost believable.  Like Apocalypse, there’s a tremendous heft to this figure that’s quite satisfying.  Unlike Apocalypse, his feet are huge making him easy to stand and pose.  He came with a couple of detachable cables (the same that were used for Omega Red from the same series) to coil around various mutants.  Not surprisingly, this one was a real hit with collectors as this was one giant figure that was mostly in scale with the others.  Many would buy multiples of the figures in wave 10 to create their own Sentinel army.  I was satisfied to just have one.

5.  Marvel Select Ultimate Venom

While Toy Biz was releasing highly articulated action figures to toy stores across the globe, Diamond was releasing high grade figures to specialty shops.  Their Marvel Select line had its own scale and focused more on creating a dynamic scene as opposed to making an actual action figure.  Most of the toys featured little articulation but usually came with a display base of some kind.  They also weren’t afraid to tackle some of Marvel’s more obscure characters and embraced the Ultimate Universe that was fairly popular at the time.  I was always a big Venom fan and I always bought the latest action figure to depict him.  Perhaps my standards were set too high considering he was my favorite character, but I often wasn’t completely happy with Venom figures.  This one though is the first I can ever recall being truly satisfied with.  He’s based on his appearance in Ultimate Spider-Man, but Diamond put out two versions of him and this one featured the iconic white spider logo that wasn’t present on the character in the pages of Ultimate Spider-Man.  Like most Venom figures, he’s black but with some purple accents.  He’s a solid and heavy figure and has many sculpted pseudopods protruding from his costume.  I especially like the work done on the head and claws.  He also came with a frightened Peter Parker to torment eternally.  This is easily my favorite Venom action figure and there really isn’t a close runner-up.

4. Masterpiece Optimus Prime and Megatron

I’ve never been anything more than a casual fan of Transformers.  The cartoon never grabbed me like the TMNT cartoon, and I just wasn’t that interested in cars that transformed into robots, as cool a concept as that is.  That concept was cool enough for me to acquire a few Transformers here and there.  As a little guy, I had a couple that I only vaguely remember.  When Hasbro released the Generation 2 wave I bought a couple including the Generation 2 Grimlock and Optimus Prime.  When Takara/Hasbro unveiled the Masterpiece Optimus Prime a few years ago the collector in me had to have it.  Here was the perfect Transformer.  Not only does Optimus look like he was pulled from the cartoon, he also transforms into a perfect rendition of his truck form.  No sacrifices had to be made for one form or the other.  The one pictured is the US version which had smaller smoke stacks (apparently we can’t handle longer ones) but he’s still just as cool.  He came with several accessories, and is actually fairly easy to transform.  My favorite touch is the little button on the back of his head that makes his mouth-piece move like he’s talking.  It kind of makes me want to play with him right now.  And after Optimus was released, it was only a matter of time before a Megatron came out as well.  Like Optimus, Megatron is designed to resemble his cartoon form.  Here the designers weren’t as successful which isn’t surprising considering Megatron’s transformation is the most absurd one in the cartoon.  Still, they did a good job with what they had to work with.  His legs did come out skinny making him hard to stand.  Adding the tremendous weight of his arm cannon just makes posing him even more difficult.  When transformed, he makes for a pretty convincing replica of a Walther P38.  Gun enthusiasts won’t be fooled, but others might.  As a result, the US forced Hasbro to put a bright orange cap on the end which is why I got the Japanese version.  Unlike Prime though, transforming Megatron is a total bitch and is something I’ve only done a couple of times.  He has less die-cast than Prime too, making him more fragile.  He’s definitely the lesser of the two, and other Masterpiece figures like Starscream and Grimlock are probably better, but what’s Optimus Prime without his arch nemesis?  I had to include him.

3. Marvel Legends Deadpool

A piece of advice for any toy manufacturers trying to win me over; I love accessories!  When an action figure comes with everything it’s supposed to I get excited.  Marvel Legends Deadpool is a great example of a character coming with just the right amount of accessories.  He’s got a 9mm, two AK’s, two katanas, and a pair of sai.  He even comes with a second, mask-less head that’s totally creepy and an action stand for cool poses.  All of the details are in place including the goofy Deadpool mask-logo on his belt.  This figure reused probably the most popular sculpt Toy Biz would produce, the Daredevil sculpt, and even left Daredevil’s leg pouch on the right leg.  Reusing sculpts kind of sucks, but if it’s done well I can forgive it and this one is.  The only negative I can say about it are that the shoulders are a bit too bulky.  In that case, appearance was sacrificed some for articulation and Deadpool is loaded with articulation.  He can be posed in just about any position one can dream up and I love that all of his accessories have a place they can be stored on his belt.  The paint scheme is very clean and the costume is spot-on.  He is a perfect action figure.  Toy Biz either underestimated the character’s popularity or just plain had distribution issues because he was a bitch to find in stores.  Not long after Marvel Legends Series 6 was released, Deadpool was showing up on eBay for big bucks.  Really, that whole series was botched as Juggernaut and Phoenix were a colossal pain in the ass to find which is a shame because that was one of the better waves of figures Toy Biz ever put out.  Deadpool also came with Doop from X-Force, the slimer wannabe.  I don’t like Doop, so he’s not pictured.

2.  Hot Toys Dark Knight Batman

You may have noticed that some of these toys appeared in my original post about collections.  That’s not a coincidence because most of my favorite toys are still on display in my home, while the rest are sealed away in the basement.  This one was featured in that post and represents one of the last figures I ever bought.  Normally movie themed lines are terrible.  Action figures seem to always come out better when they’re trying to resemble a piece of art and not an actual person.  Action figures can sometimes point out how absurd a character would look in the real world making the figures totally undesirable or just plain ugly.  This is no such toy.  Hot Toys puts out high grade action figures that are more like dolls than what most would consider an action figure.  These things are stupidly expensive, which is why I only bought one from the series, but are extremely nice.  This take on Batman is from the film The Dark Knight and depicts his updated costume in that film.  He comes with a stand and a bunch of little accessories including an assortment of bat-a-rangs, bombs, and even a second head.  I’ve never bothered to switch him to the Bruce Wayne head because why would I ever want to?  His costume is a rubbery material that works really well because it’s how I imagine the costume would actually feel.  All of the little details are present making this probably the most accurate movie-based figure in existence.  He also came with an extra set of hands but good luck getting the factory attached ones off, I never could.  That’s okay though, because he looks cool as is.  He also sports quite a bit of articulation.  I’ve never gone through the trouble to really pose him but there’s plenty of pictures online of people who have.  If you’ve got about $150 burning a hole in your pocket and really want an awesome Batman toy, you can’t go wrong with this one.

1.  NECA Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Maybe I’m cheating again by making my number 1 action figure four figures, but as you can see, it couldn’t be done any other way.  The Ghostbusters got me into action figures, but my obsession exploded with the TMNT and they were really my first love.  These toys are everything I love about action figures.  They look great, move great, are loaded with accessories, and are of characters that I adore.  Each one has just the right amount of personality to separate it form the rest, perhaps even more so than the comics they come from.  And as you can see, these turtles are based on the ones from Mirage Comics.  Each one comes with a base, some knives, their turtle specific weapons, a little turtle, and an extra set of climbing hands.  That’s all well and good, but all I really care about is that each turtle has his weapons.  Mikey stands out in this regard as his nunchaku have real chains, how awesome is that?!  Every incarnation of the character released before that had all plastic nunchaku and never in my wildest dreams did I ever think one would come along with actual chains.  Raph’s sai are just wide enough that he can fit his fingers within the blades which is cool for display purposes (though I’m too scared to do it as I’m afraid the sai will stretch and break after awhile).  I love the expression on Donatello’s face, it just looks exactly how I picture him.  And Leo is Leo, which means he’s awesome.  Somehow, some way, NECA did not sell enough of these figures to warrant future ones.  They did do an April O’Neil figure that was just as ugly as the source material.  I’m guessing that one sold poorly which is why we never got a Mirage Shredder to join these turtles.  One was unveiled at a Toy Fair along with a Foot soldier, but he has never been released which is a shame.  At least we got four comic accurate turtles that kick all kinds of ass.  And if you really want a comic accurate set, NECA released a four-pack of the Turtles that are colored in black and white.  I prefer the colored ones, but it’s pretty cool they went through the effort of putting out a second set.


Dragon Ball – Season One

Dragon Ball - Season One

This past summer amazon.com had a big anime DVD sale that proved quite tempting.  I’ve never been big into anime, but there’s been some I’ve enjoyed over the years.  Namely, Cowboy Bebop, which I count among my favorite television series of all time.  That wasn’t my first love though, no, that belonged to Dragon Ball Z.

Dragon Ball Z had a funny romance with American audiences.  It was first brought over in the 90’s, and in my area, aired on weekday mornings.  I never payed much attention and apparently I wasn’t the only one as the show died a quick death.  Cartoon Network would later acquire the broadcast rights for its weekday afternoon blocks.  These programming blocks were aimed at a more teenage audience and usually included action cartoons.  Eventually, this block would be re-named “Toonami” and DBZ would become the centerpiece for several years.

I consumed quite a bit when it came to DBZ.  Because dubbing the program proved to be time-consuming, my friends and I often couldn’t wait for the new episodes to hit television and we would instead purchase the VHS tapes as they came out.  I think each tape cost around 20 bucks and contained just 3 episodes a piece.  This was not a cost-conscious way to view the show, but it was all we knew.  Despite this annoyance, I stuck with it through to the end.  I still have a ton of VHS tapes of this show hanging around my basement, probably never to be watched again.

Goku just found out Chi Chi is a girl...

Eventually I grew out of DBZ.  While at first viewing it proved exciting, it would eventually ware off.  The action pieces were cool and flashy, the Z warriors possessed some very imaginative abilities that separated them from standard American super heroes.  The plot lines proved extremely shallow though, and despite the flashy moves the show moved at a snail’s pace.  The heroes love to stand around and all comment individually on how a fight is progressing.  They constantly turn to the same tricks over and over and over again (villain gets hit with a giant blast that fills the area with smoke, everyone thinks the villain is dead, then the smoke clears, mouths hang open) to create suspense but after awhile it proves extremely tiresome.  That’s not to say I don’t still have a soft spot for DBZ, but it’s nothing I consider brilliant.

Dragon Ball, on the other hand, that I can get into.  Dragon Ball is what came before Dragon Ball Z.  It never caught on in America, and only after the success of DBZ did the production company Funimation decide to dub the entire series.  These cartoons would make it onto Cartoon Network as well and I saw most of what would be considered the first season, but real life interfered for me and I never kept up with it.  Plus on television the show had to be heavily edited.  Where DBZ went for over the top action, DB opted for humor and mostly of the perverted sort.  A reoccurring gag of the first season involves our ignorant child hero Goku, the main protagonist for both DB and DBZ,  patting every new person he meets on the crotch to figure out who’s male and who’s female.

Dragon Ball is also less concerned with the next great challenge for Goku and more interested in adventure.  Goku’s abilities are very super-human but not to the degree they will become when he’s an adult in DBZ.  In DB he’s a happy-go-lucky kid who’s been sheltered his whole life.  He’s out of place in the world, but he’s not all that concerned about it.  He’d rather focus on getting stronger and finding his next meal.  That would make for a pretty lousy tale if he wasn’t constantly running into people who needed his help.

Goku with his "grandpa."

The series starts off with Goku meeting Bulma, a teenaged girl out searching for the mystical dragon balls.  Once all 7 are collected, the eternal dragon will show himself and grant a wish to whoever summoned him.  Bulma wants a boyfriend, apparently she’s had no luck finding one herself, but standing in the way is Goku who happens to possess the 4-star dragon ball.  Goku is a young boy who lives out in the woods by himself.  He refers to the dragon ball as his grandpa, and we later learn that Goku used to live with his grandpa until a giant monster stepped on him.  The way Bulma and Goku meet is rather unorthodox, she hits him with her car.  The fact that Goku is still standing intrigues her and she decides to bring him along on her adventure.  He proves nearly indestructible and has a monster appetite.  If that wasn’t unusual enough, he also has a tail.

From here the two travel together in search of the dragon balls via Bulma’s Dragon Radar.  This takes them to various interesting locales where Goku rights wrongs and Bulma finds dragon balls.  We meet the shape-shifting pig Oolong, the desert bandit Yamcha, and the martial arts expert Master Roshi.  Roshi proves to be the character who consistently steals every scene he’s in thanks to his wildly perverted nature.  He just never stops and when our heroes first meet him he agrees to help them only if Bulma will show him her panties.

Bulma isn’t the only one looking for the dragon balls though, the feisty Emperor Pilaf and his goons are as well.  We never really learn just what Pilaf is an emperor of, perhaps he is only in his mind, but he seeks world domination and views the dragon balls as a means to an end.  Pilaf and his cronies are typical incompetent villains.  Goku and his friends are constantly thwarting him.  He’s so inept that Goku often overlooks him and completely forgets about him in later seasons when their paths cross again.

Krillin and Goku get a taste of Master Roshi's unorthodox training methods.

That’s how the first part of season one goes, the second part focuses on Goku training under Master Roshi along with another pupil, the monk Krillin.  Krillin, like Goku, is a young boy with exceptional talent.  He’s not quite as strong as Goku, but makes up for his physical short-comings with brains, something Goku has in short supply.  He takes advantage of the naive Goku to keep up with him during their training under Roshi.  What could have been excrutiatingly boring turns out to be pretty fun as we watch the two compete and train with one another leading up to the World Martial Arts Tournament.

The World Martial Arts Tournament is the climax for season one, where both Goku and Krillin test their skills against the best fighters in the world.  Master Roshi, not wanting his students to win to teach them humility, enters the tournament poorly disguised as Jackie Chun but it seems to fool the kids.  The fights at the tournament feature a nice balance of slapstick and action.  It is perhaps not as fun as the more adventure themed episodes, but they prove rewarding in the end.  Ultimately, season one of Dragon Ball captures everything I love about the series.  There’s tons of genuine laughs, plenty of adventure, and a healthy dose of action.  The plot isn’t entirely immersive, but what it lacks in depth it makes up for in charm.  This is just a really charming show and it’s easy to fall in love with most of the characters.  Dragon Ball Z did some of these things as well, but not on this level.  It’s a bit unfortunate that the sequel overshadows the original, because Dragon Ball is miles ahead of its Z counterpart.

This entry started me mentioning amazon.com had a big anime sale.  Well, that sale proved to be the catalyst to finally get me to see the entire Dragon Ball series.  I bought all five seasons and over the last few months I’ve watched every episode.  I plan on reviewing each entry so if you want to read more about Dragon Ball make sure to check back.


Essential Christmas Viewing (Part 2)

Yesterday I went over some of my favorite Christmas movie and TV specials.  I covered most of the basics, the specials pretty much everyone agrees are required viewing around the holidays.  Today I’m going to go into the more non-traditional ones and focus more on Christmas themed episodes of some of my favorite shows.  Let’s start off with one that should seem pretty obvious to anyone who has read my blog in the past.

It just wouldn’t be Christmas without a little Danzig.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future” – Cartoon Network has made a lot of money off of their adult swim programs simply by creating funny shorts for practically no cost by traditional standards.  Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one such program where the animation is crude but the laughs often come in bunches.  The first Christmas special for the show was a memorable one, though it had very little to do with Christmas.  The neighbor of the Aqua Teens (Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad) Carl, wakes up one morning to find his swimming pool full of blood and an annoying robot soon shows up with a long, drawn out tale about the origins of Santa.  It’s ridiculous, to put it mildly, and Carl finds out that if he wants to get rid of the blood and the robot he has to give of himself to a great, red, ape…sexually.  Refusing to do so, Carl puts his house on the market which attracts one very interested buyer:  Glenn Danzig.  Danzig voices himself as he becomes the neighbor from Hell and even lets the writers poke fun at him a little.  Light on holiday cheer, but big on laughs, this one is a staple in my X-Mas rotation.

Family Guy:  “A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas” – When Family Guy first premiered on Fox following Super Bowl XXXV it did so with a ratings thud.  It managed to hang around for 3 seasons (more like 2.5) before getting cancelled, and then famously re-emerged several years later.  I loved Family Guy when it first arrived, but over the years I grew tired of it.  The newer episodes rarely entertain me, but many of the old ones can still make me laugh.  Family Guy’s first Christmas special is one such episode.  It’s an appropriate tale for the Griffen family as everything that could go wrong does and we’re treated to an amusing scene where Lois goes bat-shit insane.  Stewie also has a pretty memorable turn as baby Jesus and we get to learn what Peter thinks Christmas is all about.

“Santa Claus is gunning you down!”

Futurama:  “X-Mas Story” and “A Tale of Two Santas” – For me, Futurama and Family Guy will always be linked, just because both premiered on Fox and both met with unfortunate ends before rising from the ashes once more.  While I outgrew Family Guy’s antics, I still love Futurama.  Sure the new episodes haven’t been as good as the first 4 seasons but it’s still a sharp and enjoyable comedy series.  And for the Christmas season, I can’t separate the two specials that came before the cancellation.  “X-Mas Story” serves as Fry’s introduction to what Christmas is like in the year 3000.  It’s literally called X-Mas and is horrifying.  A homicidal robot Santa (voice of John Goodman) patrols the skies on X-Mas Eve and slays anyone he finds (except Zoidberg) and instead of families coming together to spread good cheer, they come together to cling to one another in fear.  “A Tale of Two Santas” followed it where Bender had to take up the mantle of Santa and try to reclaim X-Mas.  It doesn’t go too well and Bender finds himself on death row.  There are lots of witty jokes throughout both and I love Professor Farnsworth’s opinions on 20th century modesty.

Batman The Animated Series: “Christmas With The Joker” – Batman’s second episode marked the debut of Mark Hamill as The Joker.  Hamill’s debut was a flawless one, as The Joker is first shown singing a familiar Batman themed “Jingle Bells” parody as he blasts out of Arkham Asylum and takes over the Gotham television air waves.  Meanwhile, Dick Grayson is trying to get Bruce to sit down and watch It’s a Wonderful Life as he’s never seen it.  When Dick asks why, he coyly replies “I never could get past the title.”  Joker kidnapping some of Gotham’s elite throws a wrench into those plans and we get to watch Batman and Robin try to track him down before a final, satisfying confrontation to close out the episode.

X-Men: “Have Yourself a Morlock Little X-Mas” – I already talked about this one, and every other episode of X-Men, months ago so I won’t say much here.  I’ll just add that, as corny as it is, it always gets me at the end.  Light on action, heavy on sentimentality, it’s a standard holiday special but with the X-Men.

South Park:  “Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo”South Park has many memorable Christmas episodes, so many it’s hard to choose just gone.  There’s Christmas in Iraq, satanic woodland animals, and even Charlie Manson gets in on the fun in one episode.  My personal favorite though will likely always be the original, the episode that introduced us all to Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo.  The premise of a talking piece of poop is outrageous, and the visual gags are a riot, especially the one where Mr. Hankey is seen bathing in Mr. Mackey’s coffee.  The plot of the episode is actually pretty solid as it focuses on how Kyle feels lonely at Christmas because of his Jewish heritage.  This also was the first episode where Kenny didn’t die, which was kind of a big deal in 1997.

Beware the Krampus!

The Venture Bros.:  “A Very Venture Christmas” – This might be the first time I’ve mentioned The Venture Bros. on this blog, which should be considered a crime.  The Venture Bros. is the best show on television.  I can’t get enough of it and have probably seen every episode ten times, if not more.  The lone Christmas special for the brothers Venture is actually the show’s lone half episode as it clocks in at under 15 minutes.  Despite the brief running time, there’s a lot of great gags, most notably the appearance of the Christmas Krampus and the debut of Tiny Joseph.  At some point I’m going to have to start talking about The Venture Bros. more, but this is an okay start.

The Flintstones: “A Flintstone Christmas” – This one’s going back a few years.  The Flintstones had a few memorable Christmas specials, but this one is the only one I’ll go out of my way to view.  It’s sort of a re-make of the first Christmas special where Fred had to fill in for Santa.  In this one, Fred once again has to fill in for an out of commission Santa as he’s laid up at the Flintstone’s residence with a cold.  Unlike the first one though, this time Barney tags along as Fred’s elf and the running time is extended to a full hour.  While Fred and Barney fly around the world delivering presents, Mr. Slate and the wives await Fred’s arrival at a Christmas party where he’s supposed to play Santa.  Just when it looks like Fred’s about to get into a host of trouble, he comes through and the process gets repeated.  Fred ends up getting bailed out by Santa in the end, so they’re even when all is said and done.  It’s too bad Hannah Barbara hasn’t done a better job of getting its Christmas specials out on DVD.  A collection including this one and The Jetsons, Smurfs, and other holiday classics would probably sell pretty well.

Heh heh uhh heh heh

Beavis & Butt-Head Do Christmas – Everyone’s favorite dim-witted duo had a couple holiday specials including this one.  In it the pair take on two holiday classics, A Christmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life.  In the first, Beavis envisions himself as the manager at Burger World and finds himself as this tale’s Scrooge.  Only Beavis is unmoved by the visions he sees, he just wants to watch some porn and couldn’t care less that his employees are suffering.  In the second, Butt-Head is shown what life would be like if he were never born, and predictably, everyone is better off for it.  In fact, this story’s version of the Clarence character is here to kill both Beavis and Butt-Head in order to make the world a better place.  He doesn’t succeed, and we’re thankful for it.  During the festivities, we’re also shown segments featuring Santa Butt-Head with Beavis serving as a reindeer.  Butt-Head reads viewer mail and whips Beavis.  When the chicks writing the letters start to fawn over Beavis, he just whips him more and more.  Not only is this a humorous holiday themed episode, it’s also one of the best episodes of the original series.  Here’s hoping for a new Christmas special from these two arrives this month.

Bad Santa– Last but not least, my new favorite Christmas movie.  And by new, I mean

Everyone’s favorite Santa! Well, maybe not…

within the last five years, which makes Bad Santa far more recent than most of the specials I’ve cited across both entries.  Bad Santa is an atypical Christmas movie in that there’s very little Christmas cheer to be had.  Christmas is just a useful time of year for the film’s protagonists, Willie and Marcus, to case a department store while masquerading as Santa and his little elf buddy.  Billy Bob Thornton is outrageous in his turn as Willie, a character with almost no redeeming qualities.  In fact, so unredeeming was Thornton’s character that director Terry Zwigoff was forced to shoot some additional scenes just to make Willie look some-what decent.  It actually was a good move by the studio as some of these added scenes, like the one where Willie tries to teach The Kid how to box, are among the funniest.  This is a dark comedy, and one of the best I’ve seen, Christmas or no Christmas.  The supporting cast is great too and includes the final film role for the late John Ritter.  That said, this isn’t a film for everyone but it’s definitely one for me!

Thus concludes my list of Essential Christmas Viewing.  I definitely enjoy the funny side of the holiday but there’s some sentimentality in there as well.  I will watch all of these specials and more this December.  Hopefully you have a list of your own that you can enjoy, and if I was able to convince someone to check out a special they never saw before then all the better.


Essential Christmas Viewing (Part 1)

We’re past Thanksgiving and the calendar reads December 1st which can only mean one thing:  we are officially in the Christmas season.  Sure retailers try to start the season earlier and earlier each year in an attempt to stimulate consumerism but once December is here even the Scrooges of the world are forced to accept it.

For someone with no religious beliefs what-so-ever, I sure do love this time of year.  Like most people, I find it annoying when Santa and Frosty show up in stores before Halloween.  And by the time New Year’s rolls around I’m pretty sick of the Christmas music at the mall, grocery store, and in every commercial.  Something I seem to never lose an appetite for though are Christmas television specials.  Be they original stories or just Christmas themed episodes of my favorite shows, I tend to love them all.  Well, not all of them.  There are some pretty terrible Christmas specials that surface every season, often multiple times.  And as I have gotten older, I have lost interest in a lot of the Rankin/Bass productions like Frosty the Snowman and Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.  And as someone who isn’t particularly interested in the religious origins of the holiday, I don’t get much enjoyment out of The Little Drummer Boy or Small One.

Every year, right around Thanksgiving, I begin to get the itch.  The itch to dig out my old Christmas specials recorded onto VHS decades ago (now conveniently transferred to DVD) complete with vintage commercials that give me a laugh.  I also dig out the movies and DVD’s of the same material and seek out other specials on cable and make a note of when to tune in.  I’ll watch a lot of specials this holiday season, some that I don’t even particularly care for, but the ones I am about to post on are the ones I have to see every year, sometimes twice!

Mickey’s Christmas Carol – The Dickens classic, only with mice and ducks, Mickey’s

Goofy as Jacob Marley might be my favorite character in this special.

Christmas Carol first showed up in theaters in 1983 alongside the feature film The Rescuers and was once a staple of broadcast TV around this time of year.  There are many adaptations of A Christmas Carol and any television series that lasted more than a few seasons probably has one.  Many I find too derivative and pointless, but this one has always resonated with me.  This is, of course, where we were first introduced to the animated version of Scrooge McDuck, who would go on to star in Disney’s Ducktales.  This Scrooge is wonderfully done, and while he isn’t truly mean, he’s just so self-centered that he can’t be bothered with anything that isn’t making him money.  Mickey plays the role of Bob Cratchit with Goofy serving as Jacob Marley.  The animation is superb, as is often the case with Disney.  The hand-drawn animation even still looks wonderful on my nearly 25 year old VHS copy.  To truly experience this holiday classic though, you need the broadcast version that used to air in the 80’s and

90’s.  This version was shown with three classic Disney short films:  Donald’s Snow Fight, Pluto’s Christmas Tree, and The Art of Skiing starring Goofy.  These shorts can be found on the Disney Trasures collections today, and I’ve seen Pluto’s Christmas Tree included on DVD’s containing Mickey’s Christmas Carol as well.  Pluto’s story, where he and Mickey cut down a tree that just happens to be home to Chip and Dale, is probably my favorite with Donald battling his nephews in an outrageous snow ball fight a close second.  This is classic Disney that kids today have no concept of and this is almost always the first Christmas special I watch each season.

Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas – This one goes without saying, it’s a classic!  If you’ve never seen it then surely you are not from earth, and I welcome you to our humble planet.  I love the Grinch, always have and always will.  And I hope anyone reading this knows that I am speaking of the original TV special from 1966 and not that horrid film that I would prefer to pretend does not exist.  This one has it all, colorful rhymes, unique visuals, and even pleasant songs.  I detest musicals for the most part, and with Disney films I tend to just tolerate them.  With the Grinch, I actually enjoy them which is something even Walt has never been able to get me to do, so bravo to you Dr. Seuss and the folks at MGM.  I’ll probably watch this one at least a half dozen times before New Year’s.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer – I mentioned in the lead in that I don’t particularly enjoy the Rankin/Bass productions any longer, but each year I make an exception for Rudolf.  While at one point in time I may have called this one my favorite (or runner-up to the Grinch), I definitely don’t enjoy it as much today.  The songs stink and I hate The Island of Misfit Toys, but everything else is pretty swell.  Sure that claymation stuff doesn’t really hold up well but it’s at least charming.  I still get a little lump in my throat when Santa asks Rudolf to lead his sleigh.  Nostalgia kicks every now and again.  Stay far away from the sequels though, if you know what’s good for you.

Big Bird, meet the Swedish Chef. He's got plans for you that involve a turkey baster and some stuffing.

A Muppet Family Christmas – Here’s a topical one, what with The Muppets being all the rage again with a new film in theaters.  This was a television special that first aired in 1987 and was seldom seen afterword.  It was notable at the time for combining all of the Muppet properties, namely The Muppets, Sesame Street, and Fraggle Rock, which is probably why the word “family” appears in the title.  The set up is that Fozzy’s mother is getting ready to head off to Malibu for a Christmas get-away and has rented out her farm house to Doc and Sprocket, who viewers at the time knew from Fraggle Rock.  Doc just wants a nice, quiet Christmas away from the city but the Muppets are about to mess everything up on him.  Fozzy, being the good-hearted son that he is, thought it would be nice to surprise his lonely mother by bringing the whole gang out to her house and they show up just before she’s about to head out the door.  Calamity ensues as the house is overriden with the odd-ball Muppet clan, and soon the gang from Sesame Street arrives! You may be wondering what they could possibly add but the writers do a good job of having the Sesame Street characters poke fun at themselves (there’s a delightful exchange between Doc, Bert, and Ernie where they explain what passes for small talk where they’re from) and I’ll always welcome an Oscar the Grouch appearance.  There’s a lot of good one-liners and subplots within the hour long special and even the first appearance of the Muppet Babies.  It closes out with a nice Jim Henson cameo as well.  My only gripe with the special is too much singing, especially towards the end.  I have the original 1987 broadcast which contains even more songs that weren’t released on the VHS/DVD copies to come later.  If you’ve never seen this one, dig it up as it’s pretty entertaining.

A Charlie Brown Christmas – Here’s another one you’re likely to find on every list of this type.  One of the oldest annuals, the classic tale of can’t win Chuck and his seasonal depression have charmed viewers for decades.  It’s hard to pin point what makes this one work so well.  Is it the way the children act like adults?  The catchy theme?  The focus on the commercialization of Christmas we all can identify with?  Or is it the way our protagonist is redeemed during the show’s closing moments?  Probably all of the above, and then some.  The Peanuts gang is in top form for this one, and out of all their holiday specials, this one has always been my favorite.  I still have yet to encounter a solid aluminum Christmas tree though.  I do find it somewhat ironic that this special has spawned it’s own line of commercial items.  People can buy replica Charlie Brown trees and action figures and all kinds of other crap.  It’s probably not what Charles Shultz envisioned when he penned this one so long ago.

This is probably the first image that pops into the minds of 99% of Americans when they hear the name Macaulay Culkin.

Home Alone – The family comedy without the family, as the tag-line refers to it on the VHS release.  Home Alone was a box office juggernaut in 1990 and 19991 and made Macaulay Culkin a fixture at Christmas time.  This is one of those movies parents hated, since it contained lots of stupid scenarious, over-the-top cartoon violence, and screaming.  Kids loved it though, and for some reason it seems like many parents eventually came around to it as well (at least mine did).  Eight year old Kevin McCallister gets left behind when his entire family takes off on a vacation to Paris.  Most people endure the film’s early parts just to get to the memorable robbery scene where the film’s villains, played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, get way more than they bargained for from Kevin as they try to loot his house.  The visuals make for a good laugh, but I really enjoy the film’s earlier scenes, notably anything featuring the made-up movie Angels With Filthy Souls.  As was the case with Rudolf, avoid the sequels.  Home Alone 2 is okay, but a carbon copy of the original, while everything after that is utter crap.

A Christmas Story– Another film turned television regular, Ralphie Parker’s

Don't be so glum, I'll see you on 12/25, Ralphie.

obsession with getting a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas is a tale we all can relate to.  At least, I hope everyone can.  I know I can.  In 1993 all I wanted was a Super Nintendo, and in true Ralphie fashion I thought I had been let down again, only to have my dad point out to me that there was something behind the dining room set I missed after ravaging the area underneath our Christmas tree.  Ralphie’s exploits through adolescence and his quirky family dynamics are what make this tale relatable and endearing nearly 30 years after it first came out.  We rise and fall with young Ralphie through each scene and share in his triumph when his Christmas wish comes true.  The fact that the film avoids any real melodrama is a true testament to its writers and crew.  TBS has made this one into a tradition for my family as after we exchange gifts we sit down with some tea and breakfast and watch it on Christmas morning.

That concludes part one of my Essential Christmas Viewing List.  As you probably noticed, this post covered mostly the classics, the ones everyone enjoys with perhaps only a slight twist or two.  My next entry will be more centered on me and the specials I often have to seek out each year that others perhaps do not, so come back and check it out.


X-Men Animated Series Wrap-Up

Over the course of five months I blogged about my favorite cartoon as a kid:  X-Men.  I gave an episode synopsis/review for every episode (well, I cheated a bit by looking at them by plot, so 4-parters weren’t split out by episode as I went through it all) which was a lot of fun for me.  For some, it necessitated a re-watching of the episode which would lead to me watching episodes I didn’t necessarily need to see again, but wanted to.  And with every episode available on DVD, it was really easy.

These DVD covers are pretty awesome.

I was a first day purchaser for each DVD as they were released by Buena Vista.  The DVD’s had some nice, original, box art but the actual content was bare bones.  That is to say, there really wasn’t anything other than the episodes themselves (in broadcast order).  It was disappointing, as even some of the VHS tapes from the ’90’s at least had some roundtable discussions with the creators of the characters and show, but in the end a minor flaw.  I was so happy to finally have the show I adored as a kid on DVD and at the ready whenever I wished to see it that any short-comings could be overlooked.  And much to my satisfaction, the program has aged well.  Sure it may not look and animate as well as modern cartoons but the content and characters are watchable even at an adult age.  That’s something not every cartoon from my youth can claim (I’m looking at you, Mario).

So as a way to put a nice bow on everything, I figured I would list my favorite episodes.  As with my individual reviews, I’ll go by plot so, for example, “Out of the Past” would be considered as one episode, even though it’s two parts.  I’ll draw a line at the four and five part story arches, of which there were 3.  And while those are entertaining, none of them would crack my list anyways as their wide scope is some-what of a hindrance.  Though I suppose if I liked an individual episode enough I would have included it, but I really didn’t.

I figured a top 10 would be too easy, so I settled on doing a top five which proved really difficult.  Ultimately, my criteria was equal parts enjoyment and importance to the series as a whole.  As a result, through no conscious effort on my part, all five episodes ended up coming from the first two seasons.  I’m slightly uncomfortable with that because it makes it seem like the final three seasons aren’t that good, but they are!  There were some tough final omissions and I would be remiss if I didn’t list these honorable mentions:

  • “Cold Comfort” – a personal favorite of mine due to Iceman’s inclusion, it also gave us a nice look at the original X-Men.  My toughest omission.
  • “Days of Future Past” – a fun time travel story that smartly adapted the classic story for the television show.  Some nice intrigue with the Gambit character.
  • “Courage” – I love Morph, so this another personal favorite.  It didn’t have the impact it probably should have had though, making it actually an easier omission than expected.
  • “Bloodlines” – Nightcrawler, the Friends of Humanity, and some soap opera family drama.  Great episode.
  • “Graduation Day” – this one goes without saying, it’s the final episode so it carries much importance.  However, it felt hastily thrown together and could have been a lot better.
So what episodes made my Top 5?  Read on:

Remember when you could only get "X-Men" on VHS one episode at a time?

Till Death Do Us Part – A very important episode that sets up the events for all of season 2.  Morph is reintroduced and when it happened it had impact.  Even though he had only been “dead” for a season it felt like a shock to see him back and as a bad guy.  Mr. Sinister also made his true debut for the series and lived up to his name.  Most importantly though, the Friends of Humanity were introduced serving as a real world enemy for the X-Men and one they couldn’t simply face head-on.  The FOH bring the civil rights aspect of the show into the forefront, and when the writers are working with that mind-set, the show is at its best!

The Final Decision – Season one’s finale and the first time the X-Men team-up with arch enemy Magneto.  Such a partnership would become the norm in later seasons to the point where Magneto didn’t even feel like a villain, but here it had purpose and weight.  The episode’s melodrama where the X-Men are seen walking off into certain doom was chilling, and still is for me today.

A Rogue’s Tale – Perhaps unexpected if you didn’t read my original synopsis, but a great origin story for Rogue and another episode with emotional weight.  Sometimes it feels like the girls of the team get overlooked, but getting a glimpse of the tragic parts of Rogue’s past were revealing and extremely well done.  As a viewer, we empathize with the Ms. Marvel character but at the same time with Rogue as well, blurring the line between hero and villain.  The fact that the episode doesn’t really have a nice, happy ending, just adds to the experience.

I wonder what he would look like if he shaved?

Beauty and the Beast – I considered making this number 1, but couldn’t for what will soon be obvious reasons when I get to number 1.  This episode though represents everything that is great about the X-Men.  Here we have Beast, a mutant who has some neat abilities and can do things normal men cannot, but it comes at the cost of his physical appearance.  Before this episode, we didn’t know Beast that well but from what we did know it seemed like he didn’t let his appearance get him down.  Here we see him vulnerable as his mutant heritage threatens the safety of the woman he loves.  We see the ugliness of humanity both through the FOH and Carly’s father, who can’t even acknowledge Beast as a person even though he gifted his daughter with sight.  The drama is handled exceptionally well for a kid’s show, and the ending always affects me.  If I had to pick just one episode to show someone new to the X-Men what the show is all about, I’d probably go with this one.

Night of the Sentinels – How could it be any other?  This is the episode that started it all and hooked me and millions of others right from the start.  It effortlessly introduces us to the X-Men through Jubilee and the hostile world they inhabit.  The Sentinels prove to be a truly threatening and deceitful menace that earn their distinction by killing the lovable Morph in the second act.  We get classic interactions between Wolverine and Gambit, Wolverine and Cyclops, and Cyclops and Xavier.  We see not only the conflicts that exist in the world, but the ones that exist amongst team members.  The animosity between Wolverine and Cyclops especially is quite riveting and Wolverine drilling Cyke in the gut put everyone on notice, and sent kids flying to toy stores looking for Wolverine action figures.  I can’t think of a better first episode(s) for any series than this one.  It accomplishes everything it needs to and then some.  Today, I still love watching it.  I laugh when Jubilee blasts Wolverine, I ache when Jean relays the news on Morph, and triumph when Wolverine sinks his claws into the neck of a Sentinel.  I love this show!

So that’s my top 5.  Feel free to agree or disagree, I won’t argue as there are many worthy episodes.  I didn’t even list one of the enjoyable Wolverine-centered episodes or any of the clever time traveling ones.  This is such a fun show, if I ever have kids I hope they take to it else I’ll be really bummed.

Though I’ve exhausted the topic of X-Men, there are more shows to revisit.  Perhaps I’ll never do as exhaustive a look at any other show, but I plan to do some DVD reviews at least and I already know what my next subject will cover.  I also intend to get to looking at older video games and talking about my all-time favorites.  I have the CDX to continue fiddling with, and some SNK hardware to talk about.  In short, I’m not lacking for nostalgia.

And lastly, if you haven’t heard Powerglove’s cover of the X-Men theme, where have you been the last year?!


X-Men Season 5 (Part 2)

September of 1997 brought with it the final episode of X-Men, the animated series that first began airing on Fox Saturday mornings on Halloween of 1992.  Shows aimed primarily at kids often last only a season or two, but X-Men made it for 5 years and 76 episodes and to this day is still the longest running television show based off a Marvel Comics property.  While the show wasn’t able to maintain the momentum it generated in the first two seasons, it was largely a quality program for its entire run.  Here, in September of 2011, my series overview will come to an end with the final 4 episodes.  It was a lot of fun reliving my favorite show as a kid and if you wish to do so as well all of the episodes are available on DVD.  The DVD’s themselves are fairly unspectacular but all of the episodes are there and that’s what matters most.  I’ll probably make one more post on this subject to serve as a wrap-up, but this ends the individual episode examinations.

Old Soldiers

Uncanny X-Men #268 probably served as inspiration for this episode.

Now here’s an interesting idea for an episode of X-Men that also gives us a cameo from a classic Marvel character and further adds to the Wolverine mythos.  “Old Soldiers” is a flashback episode triggered when Wolverine visits the grave of someone who must have been important to him at some point in his life, but we’re kept in the dark for now.  The flashback details an outing Wolverine had during World War II where he was joined by none other than Captain America.  Wolverine and Cap are sent to rescue a scientist from the dreaded Red Skull.  We get to see the two break into the compound, confront the Skull and his goons, and escape in a thrilling fashion.

Captain America is depicted well and the writers give him some personality so he’s not some stale Superman clone.  They even go so far as to have Wolverine make fun of him for wearing his ridiculous costume but Cap has a good response illustrating that he’s more than a soldier, he’s a symbol.  The Nazi stuff is predictably toned down but not hidden entirely, which is nice.  Wolverine doesn’t yet have his claws, but the writers give him some slide-on ones that were supposed to help him and Cap scale a wall.  It’s kind of a cop-out and I wish they hadn’t bothered, plus they don’t look like they’d be very helpful for wall climbing.

Cap and Red Skull; it wouldn't have bothered me to see more of them.

There’s a nice little twist ending as well, that I won’t spoil here.  This episode was probably inspired by Uncanny X-Men #268, though sadly, they weren’t able to work Black Widow into the story.  The animation works pretty well, though I do dislike how wild Wolverine’s hair looks in the present time portion of the episode.  All in all, a cool one-shot and sadly the last of the Wolverine episodes.  As overexposed as Wolverine is, his solo episodes are very good and rarely disappoint.

Hidden Agendas

This episode contains another first-time cameo, this time it’s the mutant Cannonball from both the New Mutants and X-Force.  Unfortunately, it’s one of the least memorable.

Rogue and Gambit's new look.

Rogue travels to the south to meet a young coal miner who was recently exposed as a mutant to his small town.  Rogue presents herself as a teacher (borrowing Gambit’s last name) in an attempt to reach out to the young Sam Guthrie.  Surprisingly, Sam does not encounter much hostility from the locals but soon some government agents show up and start meddling around.  The resulting scenes are so predictable they’re dull, and in the end Sam ends up staying right where he is.

The episode is notable for the debut of Gambit’s new voice actor, whom I don’t particularly care for too much.  I also don’t like how Rogue looks with this new animation style as she seems to have more of a toon quality than most.  It proves distracting and undermines the episode’s serious plot.

Descent

Here’s an interesting episode I never thought we’d see, and perhaps the best of season 5.  “Descent” is another flashback episode though we’re not really certain who’s flashback it is until its close.  It takes place in old London and focuses on two characters, Dr. James Xavier and Dr. Nathaniel Essex.

Dr. Essex is brewing something sinister.

Obviously, Xavier is a descendent of the Charles Xavier we know.  Comic book readers will know who Essex is through name, but most television only viewers will easily figure out that he’s in some way related to the villain Mr. Sinister.  Xavier and Essex are rivals who both approach the work of Charles Darwin differently.  Xavier believes genetic mutation is random while Essex believes it can be influenced by science.  Essex takes the same view that Magneto will, which is that mutated humans are the next step in human evolution and thus destined to be superior.

The episode appropriately illustrates the descent of Nathaniel Essex from public ridicule to outright scorn.  Essex is soon discovered to be experimenting on his own wife and a mob is organized to confront him and chase him out of town.  This basically forces Essex to begin experimenting on himself which ultimately leads to the birth of Sinister.

This is just a bad ass picture of a Victorian Sinister, one that needed inclusion in this post.

This episode is just a great character study and gives the audience insight into how Sinister’s philosophies were born.  Seeing Sinister get rejected by Darwin is also a fun visual and giving a more personal rivalry to the Sinister/Xavier conflict is also welcome, as before this episode the two characters really didn’t encounter one another much.  I suspect for kid viewers this one may have been a little dull but I consider it one of the most underrated episodes for the series.  A true hidden gem.

Graduation Day

And here we are, the final episode.  Unlike most shows, X-Men gets a proper series finale and does provide some sense of closure.

The basic plot of the episode reintroduces the conflict that got it all started; mutants and humans, Magneto and Xavier.  Old pal Henry Gyrich returns at the beginning (minus his trademark glasses and with a new hair color) as a speaker at a hearing on mutant rights and he springs an attack on an ill Charles Xavier that outs Xavier as a mutant (I never knew the public was kept in the dark this whole time, I suspect I’m not the only one).  The resulting attack combined with Xavier’s health lands Charles on his death bed.  The general mutant population is outraged, and war seems inevitable.

Jean finally gets to rock the yellow and blue.

The X-Men are left to deal with the resulting upswing in conflict, while Magneto lurks on the periphery.  Morph gets to make a return and poses as Xavier on television (the animation for his morphing power is terrible, by the way) in an attempt to quiet the masses.  Meanwhile, Cyclops, Jean, and Wolverine head off to find Magneto and hope to quiet his rebellion.  Mutants have amassed around some cave Magneto is apparently living in, lead by Sunfire.  They are patiently awaiting direction from their leader who has yet to show himself.  The X-Men sneak in a rear entrance they uncover and confront Magneto after he destroys the blackbird.  Magneto, foolishly believing the X-Men were that easy to take out, is taken unawares but soon gains the upper hand.  When Jean springs the news on him that Xavier is dying he is stunned, and thus begins his monologue.  Magneto is understandably torn.  He loves Xavier as a brother despite their rivalry, and yet now is his chance to realize his own dream.  Suddenly, Jean realizes Magneto could help save Charles, and Magneto reluctantly agrees to accompany them back to the mansion.

Magneto’s powers somehow are able to amplify Xavier’s and he is able to awaken momentarily.  This grants us a final scene where Charles is able to go around the room and individually acknowledge and say goodbye to each member of the X-Men from his bed, including Morph and Magneto.  Some of it is genuinely touching, particularly his good bye to Cyclops, but once complete it looks like Xavier’s time is up.  Then out of no where, Lilandra teleports in and slaps some device on Xavier’s forehead.  She lets the X-Men know that the technology of the Shi’Ar can save their beloved professor, but in order to do so she must take him away and is unsure if he’ll ever be able to return.  Thus the episode comes to a close with Xavier imparting words of encouragement telepathically.  As the screen fades we’re left with a final group shot and many questions.  Is Morph finally back on the team?  Is this what is needed to get Magneto to finally marry himself to Xavier’s cause?

Obviously, these questions are never to be answered as the show is brought to a nice conclusion.  If I have one complaint about this episode it’s that the pacing is off.  Everything moves far too quickly due to time constraints.  I would propose that this episode should have at least been a two-parter, if not more, with Magneto’s army being bigger and more impressive.  It also could have served to get more cameos into the mix as mutants are forced to choose sides.  The lesser episodes of season 5 could have been scrapped to accommodate this, but sadly the writers didn’t have the foresight to do this.

Nonetheless, “Graduation Day” is a fitting farewell to our mutant heroes and one that is all too bittersweet.  Some of the more narrative heavy episodes of season 5 and the renewed human-mutant conflict of the final episode illustrate that this show still had legs, if placed in the proper hands.  Still, it was a good run and a faithful portrayal of the X-Men that has been equaled by no other movie or television series since.

So long X-Men, and thanks for the memories.


X-Men Season 5 (Part 1)

The X-Men are gone...oh wait! You mean they're not?!

Season 5 was never meant to be.  The creative staff for X-Men felt the writing was on the wall and the series would not be renewed after season 4’s completion, so the four-part “Beyond Good and Evil” was meant to give the series a truly memorable farewell.  Unexpectedly, Fox decided to order more episodes, and while I’m sure the people who worked on the show were delighted, this did pose some problems.  AKOM, the studio that handled the animation for almost all of the episodes, would not be able to fulfill the order placed by Fox, and thus episode 70 (“Storm Front Part 2”) would be their last episode for the series.  Philippine Animation would handle the final six remaining episodes and do so with a distinctly different style.  The animation is probably an improvement over much of AKOM’s work as it’s more fluid, but the style is more of a toon quality.  In some ways, it resembles the artwork being put out by Marvel during the Onslaught Saga but with far less detail.  I personally am not too fond of the look, but one bonus was getting Jean depicted in her actual comic book attire yellow and blue.

The lack of planning for a fifth season also shows in the writing quality.  Outside of the first two story arches, most of the episodes are stand-alone but do tie into some older plot threads.  The season does have a feel to it of the writers taking chances or just exploring aspects of the series that interested them such as the Sinister origin story and the Wolverine/Captain America team-up.  As such, some of the episodes are interesting and some miss the mark.  There’s probably more of a “love it hate it” opinion for the following episodes more than ones prior, but there are a couple of hidden gems.

The Phalanx Covenant (Parts 1 and 2)

"The Phalanx Covenant" was a major story-line in the comics that spanned all of the 'X' books.

Probably the only tie-in episodes of season 5 that tied in with the current comic book plot-line, though in a much truncated form.  “The Phalanx Covenant” introduces the Phalanx organism to the animated universe.  It begins innocently enough with the X-Men capturing a rampaging Sabretooth (old animation was mined from the very first episode of X-Men for parts of this, perhaps illustrating the time constraints this season was placed under) and bringing him back to the mansion.  In a piece of deja vu, Wolverine can’t help himself and seals himself away in Sabretooth’s cell for some fun, and because he senses something different about his old foe.

Wolverine and the rest of the X-Men soon learn that Sabretooth is possessed by some sort of techno-organic life-form that soon corrupts the entire mansion.  Only Beast is able to escape as he makes buddies with a piece of this alien known as Warlock.  Warlock explains to Beast that he is part of the Phalanx, a life-form that exists as part organic and part computer.  A virus has infiltrated the global conscience that links all of the Phalanx together and has corrupted it.  Warlock has separated himself but he is the only one, and his life-mate was not so lucky.

Warlock and Beast make for an interesting duo.

Warlock, as some of you are probably aware, is an old comic book character from the New Mutants books where he was an ally of the X-Men’s youngest division.  His portrayal here is pretty faithful, as he and Beast find themselves on the run and in search of any aid they can find.  This two-parter ends up playing out as a fun little team-up and cameo-fest.  X-Factor makes a brief appearance as Beast seeks out the aid of Forge while a distress call from Mr. Sinister brings our heroes an unlikely ally.  The final piece of the puzzle is the master of magnetism himself, Magneto (with original voice actor and a cool beard!), who reluctantly leaves his Antarctic fortress where he apparently has been brooding since his most recent failure.  Magneto would love to watch the fall of humanity, but since his son Quicksilver needs saving he gets off his high-horse and helps out.

They find Magneto’s force field very effective, and assault the citadel created by the Phalanx to serve as their nexus.  There they find the leader of this attack, Cameron Hodge (remember him?!), and the captured members of X-Men and X-Factor.  With their combined effort, the Phalanx and is thwarted and Warlock is reunited with his life-mate.  A fairly fun plot is concluded, one that placed the after-thought Beast in a leading role for a change, and included some unlikely allies.  Sadly, this is the last good multi-episode plot for the series.

Storm Front (Parts 1 and 2)

Arkon, and his stupid hat.

This would be last two-part storyline for the show, and it’s a dud.  As I mentioned in the lead in, I suspect the writers wanted to take the opportunity afforded by a fifth season to look at some forgotten or untouched upon aspects of the show.  Storm would represent just that.  Pretty much ever since the conclusion of season 2, Storm has been a minor character.  If I took the time to tally her appearances it wouldn’t shock me if I found her to be the most under-represented member of the X-Men for seasons 3 and 4.  Unfortunately for her, I suspect that might be because her episodes were among the least interesting.  Outside of “One Man’s Worth,” the episodes featuring her as a major player include “Whatever It Takes” and the two-part “Savage Land, Savage/Strange Heart.”

“Storm Front” does nothing to change that.  In this two-parter, Storm encounters a strange visitor from another world who claims he came seeking Storm’s help.  His name is Arkon and his world is plagued by a relentless storm and he needs the help of someone like Storm to put a stop to it.  Storm agrees and leaves a token behind for the X-Men to find.  Soon Wolverine, Cyclops, Beast, and Jubilee are in pursuit and find themselves on Arkon’s strange world.  Storm is successful in quieting the skies, and in a moment of revelry Arkon asks her to rule this world at by his side.  Storm agrees, much to the shock of the other X-Men.

Before long they realize that Arkon is a ruthless dictator.  His country still uses slaves and it’s up to the members of the X-Men on his world to clue Storm in.  Of course, she refuses to believe it at first but eventually comes around.  There’s a big confrontation, Arkon gets emasculated, and the X-Men return home after seemingly freeing the slaves on Arkon’s world.  Storm goes into hiding until the final episode of the series (not literally, of course) and thus, AKOM’s work is finished.

The Fifth Horseman 

Our introduction to what the series will look like for the remainder of its days comes to us in the form of “The Fifth Horseman.”  This episode stars Beast and Jubilee on a field trip of sorts to South America.  Already the new visual style is pretty striking as beast is less furry looking and Jubilee finally looks Chinese, how about that?

I neglected to mention in the write-up that Beast gets transformed in this episode and looks pretty crazy.

The episode is a bit bland, but it does tie into some older ones.  Jubilee soon finds herself the target of a group of mutants who want to kidnap her for some purpose.  One of the mutants is a mutated Caliban, a former morlock.  Jubilee acts like she knows him, even though I’m fairly certain Caliban was never shown in any previous episodes but the writers try to trick the audience into thinking we know who this guys is.  It is soon revealed that Caliban and his cronies are working for some crazed cult leader trying to resurrect a god.  That cult leader turns out to be Fabian Cortez, last seen floating through space on a ship piloted by Apocalypse.  That god he wants to resurrect?  You guessed it, Apocalypse!

Apocalypse was last seen being banished by the world’s telepaths to the Astral Plane, where he supposedly would remain for all eternity.  Apparently they lied, as there is a way for Apocalypse to escape, he just needs a host body and hence why Cortez wants Jubilee.  Like most villains, he underestimates his foes (and allies) as Beast is able to crash the party and even lure Caliban back over to the side of good (though in doing so he loses his cool new powers).  At the episode’s conclusion, Apocalypse frees himself from the Astral Plane by taking over the body of Cortez.  Like Jean, Apocalypse finally gets depicted in his comic accurate colors of black and blue (instead of that hideous pink and blue scheme AKOM had went with).  Unfortunately, the writers never get to explore Apocalypse further and this remains as his final appearance.  It at least ties in with that discussion Cable and Apocalypse (and later Beast) had regarding good vs evil, as evil can never truly be destroyed.

Jubilee’s Fairytale Theater

What’s worse than a Storm episode?  A Jubilee one.  Well, perhaps that isn’t entirely true as “Night of the Sentinels” could be considered a Jubilee episode and that two-parter is among the best for the series.  This one though is among the worst.  I’ve thrown out candidates along the way for worst episode of the series, and this one just might be it.  It’s definitely top 3, at the very least.

For those curious about what Wolverine would look like as a troll, you get your wish.

The plot for this episode is borrowed from a comic book story, only replace Jubilee with Kitty Pryde and change out some of the X-Men.  Jubilee is leading a group of students on a tour of the caverns under the mansion when a cave in occurs.  In order to keep the students occupied and their minds unaware of the danger they’re in, Jubilee spins a tale of medieval fantasy that places her in the starring role.  Several X-Men make cameos in her story including Wolverine as a troll and Magneto as the ultimate villain.  I suppose some might find it cute or think it’s unique approach to story-telling is refreshing, but I find it boring and stupid.  The portrayals of the X-Men in fantasy attire is only amusing for so long and just can’t sustain an entire episode.  That and since Jubilee is supposed to be making the story up as she goes, the plot is forced to be rather simple and relies on fantasy clichés.  One note worth mentioning, this episode marks the debut for Gambit’s new voice actor, Tony Daniels.  While he certainly sounds the part of a scoundrel, it’s no comparison with the original VA, Chris Potter, and a clear down-grade.


X-Men Season 4 (Part 2)

This installment of my X-Men animated series over view is both part 2 of season 4 and the last entry for season 4.  All of my other season entries have been in groups of 3 but season 4 was much shorter.  Season 5 is even shorter as the X-Men series heads toward the end.  Again, episodes are listed in production order, not broadcast order.

Bloodlines

The events of this episode borrow heavily from X-Men Unlimited Volume 4 from 1993.

Nightcrawler makes his second and final appearance on the show with this episode.  This episode explores Nightcrawler’s mysterious past and how it correlates with other X-Men notables.  The events of the episode take place on Halloween, though to call it a Halloween episode would probably be inaccurate.  The holiday just serves as a fun visual gag to bring Nightcrawler back into the fold.

Not only does this episode mark the return of Nightcrawler, but it also brings back the Friends of Humanity, and more specifically, that mutant-hating bigot Graydon Creed.  The last time we saw Creed he was busy getting humiliated by Wolverine and the X-Men when they exposed his dirty little secret to his FoH buddies.  That secret being that Creed’s father is none other than Victor Creed (listed as Graydon Creed Senior in the tv show), also known as the mutant Sabretooth!  The high council of the FoH question whether or not Creed is fit to resume his duties with the organization in light of his origin so they give him a task: purge the Creed family name of all trace of mutant blood.

If nothing else, they make for an interesting family portrait.

This apparently will prove even trickier than taking out Sabretooth.  Nightcrawler comes seeking the X-Men’s aid when he receives a chilling letter that the Friends of Humanity are holding his birth mother captive.  We get the usual “Why do you care since she abandoned you?” questions so that Nightcrawler can remind us that he always takes the high road and preaches forgiveness.  When Rogue, Wolverine, and Jubilee run off to find the blue devil’s mother they find none other than Mystique.  This of course leads Nightcrawler and Rogue to the revelation that they’re kind of like siblings given that Mystique once adopted Rogue.  Apparently, Mystique and Sabretooth did the horizontal monster mash (thanks Fry!) back in the day which gave the world Graydon Creed.  It’s not revealed who exactly Nightcrawler’s father is though we get a flashback from Mystique explaining how Nightcrawler came to be that shows him.  Apparently he was just some ugly rich guy.

Creed is basically a maniac who, despite Nightcrawler’s best efforts, cannot be reasoned with.  Mystique is depicted as a cold, and ruthless person as well, but she gets a moment of redemption after a touching scene with her blue baby boy.  The episode ends with Nightcrawler in a bit of a melancholy place, while the FoH, following Creed’s failure to eradicate his mutant lineage, dump him off on daddy’s door step.  Nightcrawler ends up going 2 for 2 as far as quality episodes go.  This one also ended up getting pushed to season 5 for the initial broadcast.  I believe it was done just to break up the Nightcrawler episodes further.

Weapon X, Lies, & Videotape

Wolverine in his cool spy gear squares off against Omega Red in a flashback.

Another Wolverine episode, but the first one in awhile.  This episode was originally aired in prime time as part of season 3.  During the 90’s Wolverine’s origins were ever evolving in the comic books and a frequent topic for plot lines and fan conversations.  This one deals with the concept of false memories.  For awhile we had seen glimpses of Wolverine’s past, in both television and the comics, particularly of when he received his adamantium skeleton and claws.  This episode deals with the possibility of those memories, and more, being implants as part of the Weapon X project.

The episode begins with Wolverine being taunted by memories from his past.  We finally get a reason for his hatred towards Sabretooth as well.  Apparently Wolverine was in love with a Native American named Silver Fox, and apparently just to tick Wolverine off, Sabretooth “killed” her.  I put “killed” in quotations because the episode never actually states that (for obvious reasons) but it seems implied.  Wolverine takes off to go uncover the mysteries of these nightmares and Beast takes off after him.

Maverick makes his second appearance (first speaking one) while Silver Fox her first.

Wolverine’s visions take him to the Weapon X facility located somewhere in Canada where he finds Sabretooth waiting for him amongst the ruins of the lab.  The two immediately start to go at it, before Beast steps in as mediator.  They soon realize they were both lead there by their own visions and a mysterious letter.  They’re soon encountered by Silver Fox and Maverick, with Wolverine looking pretty shocked to see Silver Fox alive and well.  We’re treated to numerous flashbacks such as the four of them working together to take down Omega Red.  The lab contains set pieces which correspond with the false memories the four share and a video recording of Dr. Cornelius confirms the existence of false memories.

We get to see the four, and Beast, work together to take out some robot guards that were supposedly created to retrieve the “samples” from the Weapon X project.  In the end, little is settled as Wolverine remains convinced his love affair with Fox was real, while she remains unsure.  They all go their separate ways and Wolverine is left with some measure of peace.  This episode proves to be a fun collection of mystery and conspiracy theories with some convincing action tossed in as well.  There is one piece of animation I always found confusing where Sabretooth removes his glove to work a palm scanning device, showing the flesh tone of his hand is the same as his arm, making me wonder where Sabretooth’s skin ends and his costume begins.  I regret that I couldn’t find a screen capture of what I’m talking about.

Lotus and the Steel

The Silver Samurai makes his lone appearance of the series in this episode.

It’s probably a good thing that “Weapon X…” was moved up to season 3 because if these two episodes had aired back-to-back it might have been Wolverine overkill.  This episode indirectly deals with the fall out of the Proteus episodes, specifically with how Wolverine was getting along following his shake-up at the hands of the out of control mutant.  The episode begins with Wolverine and Xavier having a sort-of therapy session where Wolverine expresses that he feels empty inside.  This leads to Wolverine leaving the X-Men and heading for Japan to seek his purpose.  Jubilee, unable to accept this decision, takes off after him.  The set-up, in a way, is reminiscient of Wolverine #75 which dealt with the fall out of Wolverine losing his adamantium skeleton and also leaving the X-Men.

As usual, trouble seems to find Wolverine and in Japan he finds anything but peace.  He arrives at his old hang out (some rural village, apparently not Madripoor) and finds out the locals are being bullied by a local Japanese mafia lead by the Silver Samurai.  The Samurai’s gang is extorting the locals for protection money, when they don’t pay his followers ransack the place.  Wolverine initially doesn’t want to get involved but of course he has to.  This leads to a showdown between Wolverine and the Samurai where Wolverine uncharacteristically outsmarts him to take him out.  The villagers thank him, and he and Jubilee head home.

The episode is very similar to the first season episode “Cold Vengeance,” just change the setting and switch out the villain.  For that reason, it lacks any real impact as it’s nothing we haven’t seen before.  Not a bad episode, just not memorable.

Have Yourself A Morlock Little X-Mas

For years the writers resisted the urge to do a holiday tie-in episode, but here in season 4 we get our first and only one.  Perhaps the writers felt emboldened after doing the Nightcrawler episodes with their religious tie-ins that a Christmas episode felt appropriate.

In this episode, Jubilee's quest for the perfect X-Mas!

The basic plot is kind of traditional holiday special crap.  Jubilee wants to have the perfect Christmas as this is her first with the X-Men (nevermind that the show has been on for years at this point, but whatever) so she’s making a big deal out of everything.  Jean is charged with preparing Christmas dinner, but has to deal with a meddling Gambit who’s cajun roots demand the food contain a certain amount of spice leading to a series of slapstick routines.  Wolverine, of course, is in full-on Scrooge mode and somehow gets suckered into shopping with Jubilee and Storm on Christmas Eve.

At the mall, their seemingly perfect day is interrupted by the Morlocks when they spot them hi-jacking an ambulance.  Wolverine gives chase into the Morlock tunnels where they find a very sick Leech.  When someone mentions the possibility that Leech may die, Jubilee utters the ever predictable “Not on Christmas Eve!” line that must appear in every holiday special (it’s mandated by the FCC, I swear).

Beast arrives on the scene to care for Leech, but nothing he has can cure him, so they turn to Wolverine.  They theorize that a blood transfusion from Wolverine could bestow special healing properties on Leech and possibly cure him of whatever it is that ails him.  Wolverine is reluctant, apparently he tried this before and it didn’t work, but relents in the end.  The transfusion works, and everyone is happy and crying.  Jubilee also abandons her hope for a perfect Christmas with her new family by sharing all of her presents that she purchased with the less fortunate Morlocks and in doing so learns the necessary valuable lesson (also mandated by the FCC).

The episode is really the same old holiday trappings found in a hundred other like episodes, just with an X-Men lens to see it through.  It’s kind of crappy, but admittedly is a guilty pleasure for me.  I can’t watch it without getting a little lump in my throat and I suppose that’s all these episodes ever set out to accomplish.

Beyond Good and Evil (Parts 1 through 4)

“Beyond Good and Evil” was meant to be the big arch to send the X-Men out on.  Nearly every significant villain and hero makes an appearance during this four part story and we even get the requisite Magneto redemption angle once more.  And to top it off it’s another time travel story and the writers seem to always nail these kind of stories.

Jean apparently not as happy to see Sinister as he is to see her.

The basic plot revolves around the god-like mutant Apocalypse.  In the year 3999, Cable and his followers attempt to destroy Apocalypse once and for all.  When Cable and Apocalypse find themselves isolated, Cable hurls the “e” word in Apocalypse’s direction, claiming because he’s evil he can never win, to which he responds rather poetically with “I am not evil, I simple am!”  Despite the confidence of that statement, Apocalypse begins to ponder his existence and even shows sadness to view himself as part of some scale where one side can never truly triumph over the other, “What a cruel joke,” he remarks.  I didn’t do the scene justice, but it’s pretty cool to watch Apocalypse and Cable face-off in a philosophical way as opposed to a physical way.  The scene ends with Apocalypse stealing Cable’s time-traveling computer crystal-thing and vanishes.  At the same time, well not really, Bishop and Shard are shown trying to return to their future world but Bishop gets hung up in the portal and soon finds himself in a strange universe populated by light bridges that all lead to some central hub.  An annoying, yet seemingly omniscient, custodian shows up to let him know he’s outside of time and the two get set to watching the events unfolding in the present.

In the present, Cyclops and Jean are giving this whole wedding thing another go.  As you may recall, the first time they wed it was Morph who administered the vows and not an ordained priest which wasn’t good enough.  This one appears to go smoothly but just as the happy couple is leaving for their honeymoon the Nasty Boys show up.  The X-Men give chase and are able to recover Cyclops but when Wolverine can’t smell any trace of their assailants they realize something’s up.  Back at the mansion, Sinister attacks and is preparing to abduct Xavier.  The X-Men are able to arrive just in time to interrupt his taunting about Jean floating through time and prevent the kidnapping.

The X-Men are able to uncover bits of Sinister’s plan when Shard suddenly arrives on the scene, unaware that it’s actually Apocalypse’s, as psychic mutants begin disappearing.  They set their sights on the mutant Psylocke, who’s busy robbing the wealthy Warren Worthington III, and encounter Mystique and Sabretooth.  With Archangel’s help, the X-Men seemingly have things in control until Magneto shows up.  Not all is lost, as they’re able to take Sabretooth back to the mansion where Wolverine locks himself in a cell with Sabretooth and beats the information out of him.  Around that time, Cable shows up after commandeering a government time machine and shares his plan to take out Apocalypse at the source by destroying the chamber that grants him eternal life.

The X-Men and Cable head off to ancient Egypt but find themselves lured into a trap.  They tangle with some machinations of Apocalypse’s four horsemen before finding an ancient Apocalypse asleep in his chamber.  The Apocalypse they find turns out to be Mystique in disguise, and Apocalypse arrives on the scene to capture the king, as he puts it, with the king being Charles Xavier.

Even when captured, Wolverine likes to run his mouth.

As Apocalypse makes off with Xavier, Wolverine slips in behind him to find himself at the Axis of Time.  By now, Apocalypse, in true villain fashion, has let everyone in on his plans to destroy time by assembling the most powerful psychics in the universe.  It’s not explained particularly well but whatever, it’s more fun to buy into the threat.  On the Axis, Magneto realizes his dream to have his wife restored to life will not be realized by Apocalypse and rebels, with Mystique’s help.  Wolverine is freed by Magneto and soon Cable and Bishop arrive.  The psychics find themselves free of Apocalypse’s control, and using their combined might, banish him to the astral plane seemingly ending his threat to existence.

The arc ends with everyone going their separate ways, though Archangel’s ultimate fate is sort of left unresolved.  When he came onto the scene, Shard referred to him as “destined to join the X-Men” and it almost seemed like maybe the writers intended for him to be a full-fledged member by episode’s end.  Considering they intended for this to be the series finale, it meant they really didn’t have to wrap that up.  Sadly, future episodes seemed to disprove this notion despite the cool group shot towards the end that showed Archangel among the X-Men.

Had this been the finale it would have been a pretty cool way for the series to go out.  While the plan hatched by Apocalypse seems to only make sense in the minds of the show’s writing staff, it was still cool to see all of the major villains make cameos.  There’s even a little snippet of a scene with Lilandra and Gladiator having to face the menace of Apocalypse and they at least did a good job of making him look like a universal threat.  Magneto’s original voice actor, sadly, was unable to voice the character here but his replacement proved competent.  While not the best of the multi-part story-lines served up by this show, it’s definitely one of the more fun ones and a high point for season 4.


X-Men Season 4 (Part 1)

Season 3 of X-Men was the biggest so far.  Quality does not always equal quantity though and while it was still pretty solid it was not up to par with the first two seasons.  Season 4 is much closer in length to the first two seasons, but probably not as good as even season 3.  A lot of the big stories were exhausted in season 3 and some of the holdovers feel lesser in scope.  There were some nice cameos though, most popular of which was the first appearance of Nightcrawler, and the mostly original tale “Beyond Good and Evil” was probably more fun than the Phoenix saga.

Like season 3, there were production delays for some of the episodes in season 4 that forced them to season 5 for the broadcast.  Also, some of these episodes were actually broadcast as part of season 3, such as the first episode we’re going to look at “The Juggernaut Returns.”  As with season 3, I’ll be looking at the episodes here in production order.

The Juggernaut Returns

Ever since Gladiator sent the Juggernaut hurtling across the Atlantic we haven’t seen or heard from the big guy.  Turns out, the only side affect for crushing Juggernaut’s pride like that was to just make him even angrier with his step brother Xavier so he sets his sights on Xavier’s school once again.

Nerd Juggernaut, never to be seen again.

We’re treated to a humorous visual of Juggernaut swiping a taxi cab to serve as his mode of transportation.  As the X-Men prepare to mount a defense, a curious thing happens and the Juggernaut suddenly finds himself de-powered and scared.  That’s because a side story is occurring at the same time that shows a dorky looking guy uncovering the ancient Ruby of Cytorrak, the source of Juggernaut’s powers.  This nerdy looking individual becomes the new Juggernaut and sets off to do what every nerd turned jock would do – pick up chicks.

Xavier makes the call that to save the life of his step brother, the X-Men must restore his powers.  While Wolverine and Cyclops run off to track down this new Juggernaut, Xavier relives the parts of his life he and Cain shared.  We learn that Cain is a pretty cruddy person, but his father was even worse who married Xavier’s mother just for her money.  Since Cain couldn’t help himself and had to bully young Charles, his father sent him away to a boarding school which only served to further fuel Cain’s dislike of Charles.

Wolverine and Cyclops end up tracking down the new Juggernaut, and the resulting confrontation is more comedy than anything.  They retrieve the ruby and return it to Cain who once again transforms into the Juggernaut.  Perhaps as a showing of thanks, he chooses to leave the mansion without further incident.

Nightcrawler

It's not easy being green, but blue isn't much better.

Apparently needing a break, Rogue, Gambit, and Wolverine head off on a ski trip to Germany.  Why they chose to go to Germany when they have Colorado to choose from I do not know.  As usual, nothing goes right and a mishap on the slopes lands them at a monastery located in a small town time forgot that fears some demon.  The monks there seem friendly enough, but something clearly is amiss.  Wolverine hears about this demon and decides to go “hunting” while Rogue mistrusts one of the brothers.

Someone tries to harm a sleeping Gambit, who was injured on the slopes, and Rogue goes after him.  A fire breaks out and Nightcrawler reveals himself.  The “demon” proves to be a rather gentle soul despite his outward appearance, and the trio of X-Men set off the uncover who was trying to make him look bad.

Nightcrawler brings an element to Saturday morning television few would dare include, which is God.  As someone who isn’t even remotely religious, I find his portrayal not at all offensive and I don’t think anyone was trying to convince kids to go to church or anything.  He does have a discussion with a terse Wolverine who apparently shuns God for various reasons.  After all, the guy has had a pretty rough life.

The person behind the attack on Gambit and the burning of the monastery is uncovered, and Nightcrawler is revealed to the town’s people in the process.  They soon accept him, and the X-Men depart for Paris to continue their vacation.  The token invite to join the team is also offered, but Nightcrawler declines, as so many have before him.  In Paris, Gambit shares his own religious philosophies with Rogue (predictably, Gambit only seems to worship one man – Gambit) which causes her to storm off.  As she finds herself questioning her own beliefs she stumbles into a church to find a humbled Wolverine, kneeling before the altar.  Wisely, she says nothing and departs before he can see her.  Another example of Wolverine striving to find that inner peace he seems to always be longing for.

One Man’s Worth (Parts 1 and 2)

One of the big stories around this time in the comic book was titled “The Age of Apocalypse.”  The AoA was an alternate timeline story created when Xavier’s future son Legion traveled back in time to assassinate Magneto, thinking this would save his future.  By accident, he ends up killing his father which alters time in a frightening way, leading to a future where Magneto leads the X-Men against a tyrannical Apocalypse.  It’s a pretty cool story, and while I would have loved a true AoA for the animated series this is a very satisfying two parter.  I do so love when the writers start working with time travel!

This two-parter borrows heavily from that arc in both premise and style.  Where it differs though is that it does not include Apocalypse or Legion, and it’s never stated that Magneto leads the X-Men in the alternate timeline shown, just that he leads the mutants against the humans (keeping in theme with the future we see in “Days of Future Past”).  Substituting for Legion is the time traveling mutant Fitzroy and his comedic lackey Bantam as they’re sent back in time by Master Mold to assassinate a young Xavier.

The happy couple, and an AoA Sabretooth!

Fitzroy’s plan is discovered by Forge who once again turns to Bishop to thwart him.  Bishop is sent back in time, but this time he’s not alone as his sister Shard joins him.  Their timing is poor, as by the time they travel back to the present to enlist the help of the X-Men, Fitzroy has already succeeded.  There Bishop and Shard encounter Wolverine and Storm (sporting her 80’s look complete with a tall white mohawk), who are married in this universe.  We get to see the mutants battle the human forces and several AoA themed cameos are present including Holocaust and Nightcrawler.  It takes some convincing, but Wolverine and Storm agree to help Bishop and Shard stop Fitzroy, knowing that doing so will cause them to cease to exist.

In a rare turn of events for the show, the heroes fail.  They travel back to the 60’s and get derailed by a bit of period specific racism towards the interracial couple of Wolverine and Storm, which sets Wolverine off.  This delays them enough to allow Fitzroy to kill Xavier, and ends part one.

Part two has the heroes regrouping by traveling back to the future in order to try again.  I don’t quite understand why they had to do so, but it lets us see the new future.  Apparently, the sentinels won and Forge still exists but her serves them.  He’s also nearly entirely robotic at this point and extremely fearful of crossing the sentinels.  The heroes are able to get out of there, but Shard gets left behind with the understanding being that if they succeed in their mission, she’ll be fine.

Round 2 goes better, and the heroes win out this time by letting Fitzroy know just what the future he creates will look like.  Storm and Wolverine share a tearful farewell and the story returns us to the present where the Wolverine and Storm we know and love are enjoying a picnic with Xavier, who smiles to let us know he remembers the first time he met the two.

Proteus (Parts 1 and 2)

Another old story brought to the animated universe.  Proteus was one of the first missions for the new X-Men following the introductions of Colossus, Wolverine, and the like.  Proteus is a pretty crazy mutant with seemingly limitless psychic powers allowing him to distort and warp reality.  In the comics, his powers were so great they’d cause his body to erode and burn up, forcing Proteus to jump from host to host, killing the person he inhabited in the process.  Obviously, this would not suit for the animated series, nor would the same conclusion be used which ended in Proteus’ death at the hands of Colossus.

Proteus in his energy form.

Proteus also necessitated a new origin.  In the comics, and show, he is the son of Moira and Joe MacTaggert.  Even though they were husband and wife, Proteus was conceived as the result of rape at the hands of Joe which resulted in Moira leaving him, but not telling him she was with child.  Proteus’ powers were so great Moira had to force him into imprisonment.  She never told anyone he was her son, instead choosing to call him Mutant X.  In the show, his origins are the same, minus the rape.  Joe is a prominent politician unaware of Proteus’ existance, though in the show he apparently knows about him but has never met him.  In order to protect his campaign, he does not want the public to know he fathered a mutant.

Proteus (Kevin) breaks out, causing Moira to enlist the help of the X-Men ( it should be noted, that the writers missed a great opportunity to bring back Morph again) to recapture Proteus and return him to his cell.  Proteus meanwhile heads for Scotland and begins inhabiting people and experiencing their emotions.  He soon yearns to find his father after experiencing a father-son bond prompting Moira to warn Joe, but still keeping the secret that Kevin is her son from Xavier.

The X-Men confront Proteus, and when Wolverine starts talking about taking the kid out, Moira snaps and reveals her long kept secret.  Xavier is disappointed she chose to hide her mutant son from him, and the X-Men are forced into battle with Proteus.  Proteus wipes the floor with them, and even “rips” Wolverine into pieces (this is of course, an illusion) that completely unsettles the feral mutant and reduces him to a sobbing, retching, mess.

Knowing they can’t hope to defeat Proteus in open combat, the X-Men determine they’ll need the help of the boy’s father to calm him down.  They attend one of Joe’s campaign rallies knowing Proteus is likely to show up.  When he does, the X-Men pounce, all except Wolverine who runs off scared.  He doesn’t respond well when Rogue accuses him of cowardice, and responds even more poorly when Beast excuses it.  When all hope seems lost, Xavier is able to calm Kevin down and reunite him with his father, who surprisingly does the right thing by his son.  A much happier ending than the comic book which featured the death of both Joe MacTaggert and son.  It’s a different sort of episode, but an enjoyable one.  While the original is better, the writers did the best they could to adapt it for a children’s audience.  The image of a broken down Wolverine would prove long lasting, and would even be referenced in a later episode.

Family Ties

Would you be surprised if I told you that a random episode of the sitcom “Family Ties” is probably more entertaining than this episode?  Perhaps that is coming across a little strong, but this is a bad episode.  The only interesting aspect about it is that the show acknowledges that Magneto has two kids for the first time, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch.  The trio find themselves lured into a trap by the High Evolutionary, and Wolverine and Beast tag along.  Wolverine gets turned into a Werewolf, and somehow every wrong is righted.  We get to see some sort of an origin tale for Magneto, which serves as the only redeeming quality of the show.  Apparently, the guy isn’t all bad and probably didn’t kill his wife.  Regardless, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver aren’t exactly thrilled to learn who their father is but come around by episode’s end.  The execution is just kind of lame, and the mutates that occupy the town where this takes place make for an even lamer visual.  I don’t include this in the running for worst episode of the series, but it’s also not far removed.


X-Men Season 3 (Part 3)

Time to take a look at the last part of season 3 of X-Men.  Season 3 goes out on an uneven note, though at the time  no one really knew the season was over.  Really, no one knew when it began as new episodes were aired some-what randomly.

Sanctuary (Parts 1 and 2)

“Sanctuary” marks the return of one of comics’ greatest villains; Magneto.  In true Magneto fashion, his motives aren’t particularly villainous as he seeks to create a haven for mutants where they will be free from human persecution.  Feeling no place on earth would suit his needs, he creates his haven on an orbiting asteroid he dubs Asteroid M.  This attracts the attention of all the world’s nations as Magneto had to abduct a Soviet shuttle crew to aid in the construction.  There’s also the small matter of the nuclear weapons he possesses as well.  Magneto crashes a UN meeting and interrupts a discussion surround him.  There’s a piece of dialogue where the Genoshan rep rejects the term slavery as it applies to Genosha and refers to mutant powers as natural resources.  An interesting take.

You will hate this man by episode's end.

The plot is a condensed version of the one from the comics that began in X-Men 1 and concluded in the Fatal Attractions mini-series.  Though what took place over years takes place over two episodes here.  Magneto finds himself placing much trust in his new acolytes and a young mutant named Fabian Cortez in particular.  Cortez betrays him and attempts to kill Magneto by ejecting his quarters from the asteroid and in doing so frames the X-Men.  In their escape, Gambit gets left behind and Wolverine, Beast, Rogue, and Xavier (in Shi’Ar battle-suit, though he doesn’t use it to walk for some reason) go after him.  From there it’s a fairly predictable plot as Magneto returns and rights what is wrong, only to see Asteroid M get destroyed in the end, but the ride is a fun one.

A side plot between Xavier and Acolyte Amelia Voght sheds some light on Xavier’s past and how he became paralyzed.  The two were lovers whose differing views on how mutants fit into society eventually drove them apart, and Voght to Magneto.  She’s not a love interest or anything for Magneto (he’s not interested in Chuck’s sloppy seconds) but serves him loyally as one of his Acolytes.  She plays a role in uncovering Cortez’s treason and ends up helping the X-Men.

The end of the episode contains a teaser (apparently for the “Beyond Good and Evil” mini series to come) where Apocalypse finds Cortez drifting through space.  Deathbird is also pictured with him.

Xavier Remembers

“Sanctuary” contained some interesting back story on Charles Xavier and an episode implying an origin story for him was a welcome development.  Unfortunately, that’s not what this episode contains.  Instead we’re “treated” to the return of the Shadow King, the worst villain the show would know.

If you have been keeping with up this feature, you will know that the season 2 episode “Whatever It Takes” is one of my least favorite episodes.  In fact, it’s in the running for first episode of X-Men.  “Xavier Remember” might be even worse, though it’s so close it matters little.  This one serves as the origin for the Shadow King and how he came to be imprisoned in the Astral Plain.  Xavier defeated him there when encountering him in Cairo, and he’s used a piece of his own mental capacity to keep him there for decades.  A concussion causes Xavier to lose his hold and it’s up to Jean to enter the Astral Plain, find Xavier, and secure the Shadow King.

The Astral Plain is incredibly boring, both visually and thematically.  It’s also just too “out there” for me to take seriously.  The only plus I can give this episode is that it’s the last we see of the Shadow King.  Stay away Shadow King, forever.

Courage

Morph sporting his new dye job.

What’s a good way to rebound from one the series’ worst episodes?  Bring back a fan-favorite who’s been missing from television for over a year and half!  I don’t know why Morph became such a popular character.  Maybe it’s because we all collectively just felt bad for him because he died so quickly into the series.  I do know that I love him, and his episodes were among the best.

“Courage” is the much teased and long-awaited comeback for Morph (now sporting brown hair for some reason) as he finally rejoins the X-Men.  Morph can’t catch a break though, for his return to the X-Men just happens to coincide with the return of the Sentinels, the mutant hunting robots responsible for his “death.”  Morph reacts predictably when confronted by his killers, which is to cower in fear and cry.  That’s okay though, he’s Morph so we forgive him and the X-Men don’t seem that upset his cowardice caused them to lose Xavier.

Turns out, Master Mold survived Xavier’s kamikaze attack in “The Final Decision.”  Sure he’s just a head now, but he’s also crazy and wants revenge.  After his Sentinels capture Xavier, the X-Men track him down but leave Morph behind.  Morph though won’t stay put and arrives in time to save the day doing awesome Morph things.

The only negative about this episode is that, in the end, it turns out to be one big tease as Morph decides he’s just not quite ready to return full-time.  Wolverine is understandably upset, as we all are, and Morph goes back into hiding until the final episode of the series.

Secrets, Not Long Buried

“Whatever It Takes” and “Xavier Remembers” are both bad episodes, but “Secrets, Not Long Buried” gets my vote as worst of the worst.  This episode is just boring.  Cyclops goes off to some mutant town in the middle of no where to give a present to his former headmaster and finds him missing.  Cyclops is the dullest member of the X-Men, and his solo adventures just don’t work very well.  I actually hate this episode, I hate everything about it.  I can’t even think of one good thing to say about it.  It sucks, don’t watch it.  Just pretend season 3 ends with “Courage.”