Welcome, to the world of tomorrow! Today! We’re looking forward while we look back on one of the best animated Christmas episodes of all time – Futurama‘s “Xmas Story.” Have you ever wondered what Christmas could be like in the 31st century? Well, now you don’t have to. Turns out, it’s pretty bad, but the holiday can still bring people together. They just huddle together in fear rather than comfort and joy. No matter, this is but one possible future and it’s not like anyone reading this is going to be around in the year 3000 anyway so don’t sweat it.

The Fox Broadcasting Company was a fledgling network in the early 90s. Two things are credited, primarily, with turning things around for Fox: Football and The Simpsons. Fox got into the animated sitcom market, one that was pretty barren in 1989, with Matt Groening’s The Simpsons. We talked about that show already this year just 10 days ago so there’s probably no need to rehash that. To sum it up though, Fox took a chance on the show and it paid off big time. In hindsight, it’s surprising that it would take Fox another decade after the premiere of that show to premiere another Matt Groening animated sitcom: Futurama. Along the way, there were some attempts at Simpsons spin-offs that went no where and I don’t think any even got very far along. Still, it’s pretty incredible that Fox wouldn’t turn to Groening for another show as it struggled to pair The Simpsons with other content. Eventually, the network would find another hit with Mike Judge’s King of the Hill and that apparently gave the network more confidence in the genre. Now, it seems they’ll greenlight anything for their “Animation Domination” block of content on Sunday night and sometimes a show sticks. Sometimes it has to get cancelled first, as it were with Family Guy, but these days that block is essentially The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, and whatever else Fox is taking a swing with.

Futurama was given the greenlight around the same time as Family Guy. Unfortunately for it, Fox would change leadership at the network during development and the new regime was much higher on Family Guy than Futurama, probably for cost reasons, so it got the coveted post Super Bowl premiere while Futurama had to settle for the less prestigious March 28, 1999. The network would air 9 episodes that spring while holding the rest of Season One until the fall where it could air as part of the broadcast Season Two. Included in that second season was “Xmas Story,” an episode supposedly deemed a bit controversial at the network. For some reason, network heads were uncomfortable with a Christmas episode about a murderous, robot, Santa. The trepidation at Fox had little impact on this episode, but when Robot Santa returned in a sequel episode it would be delayed by about a year until the show was in a later timeslot.

This particular episode was originally conceived by Groening and series co-creator David X. Cohen around the same time as the pilot. I suppose when crafting a world set one thousand years in the future one would naturally wonder what Christmas might look like. It’s actually rather nice they didn’t just decide to go all-in on some sort of super commercialism as the plot. I feel like we have enough satire directed at that aspect of the holiday. A murderous Santa? That’s fresh enough. While we do have horror movies featuring killer Santas, this one is different in that it makes Santa a robot and has a plausible introduction for the character. And that he’s saved until the final act also helps to build suspense. This is also one of those early episodes of the show where it can utilize the time-displaced protagonist, Philip J. Fry (Billy West), as an audience surrogate in giving us a look at this futuristic yuletide celebration.

The episode begins with the usual intro and music. The tag-line is “Based on a true story,” and the cartoon snippet at the end of the opening credits is one of the few Bugs Bunny cartoons in the public domain, Fresh Hare, which contains an image of a Christmas tree and Elmer with snow all over his head making him resemble Santa Claus. I had that cartoon on VHS when I was a kid along with a handful of other public domain toons. It has an abrupt ending with Bugs Bunny before a firing squad and I would learn years later that’s because it goes into a blackface gag which had been cut from my copy. And that is likely why it’s in the public domain now. Aside from that, it’s actually a pretty funny cartoon directed by Friz Freleng.

The cartoon opens on an idyllic lodge in the snowy mountains. The Planet Express crew is apparently going skiing and it will be Fry’s first experience of such in the year 3000. The skiing will have to wait though as the crew is all in attendance watching comedian Conan O’Brien (voiced by himself) performing stand-up. And since it is the year 3000, he’s just a head in a jar and the sight gag here is his head is so big that his hair extends beyond the jar. He makes a reference to his long-time band leader, Max Weinberg, but he’s just a skull in a jar. Apparently someone forgot to feed him. They eat like fish which is revealed in another episode.

Conan goes into his routine which begins with a Y2K joke. Bender (John DiMaggio), in the role of the heckler, yells out they fixed that problem a thousand years ago. O’Brien, slightly exasperated already, urges Bender to bare with him. His next setup has him recite “So, I was walking into work,” and Bender shouts out, “I doubt it!” Conan then tries to rip into Bender by saying that he may have lost his freakishly long legs, but he has something Bender never will – a soul! This doesn’t phase the robot in the least, but when he follows it up with, “And freckles!” Bender begins to weep. Get used to these sort of setups. Also, how am I going to get through this write-up without just typing out all of the jokes? This show is packed with so many and there are so many good ones contained in this episode.

Conan announces he’s out of material and he’s taken away. Before he departs, he encourages everyone to enjoy their breakfast so Conan has apparently been reduced to breakfast entertainment. Considering how short and dated his set was, that seems appropriate. With Conan’s moldy old antics over, it’s time for some skiing! It looks pretty similar to skiing in the 21st century only the chair lift features hover chairs and no one uses actual ski poles. They’re basically just handles that impart balance somehow. Fry notes how beautiful the snow looks and thanks the lord that global warming never occurred. Leela (Katey Sagal) tells him that it actually did, but nuclear winter cancelled it out. When the two exit the chair lift they ski up to Bender, Fry says “Hi,” and Bender (who is wearing a funny, jester-like, hat) snaps at him, “Enough of your mindless chatter!” On another chairlift, Hermes (Phil LaMarr) and Dr. Zoidberg (West) are stuck and as Zoidberg applies another glove to his mouth appendages the two take notice of Professor Farnsworth (West) who is skiing like an Olympian. We then cut to a close-up of the Professor to find out he’s actually asleep standing up as he makes a flurry of fantastic moves.

Fry and Leela are skiing together and Fry begins to panic as they approach some thickly settled trees. Leela tells him to relax and then commands, “Trees down.” A robotic voice(West) repeats the command and the trees are retracted into the ground. Foolishly, Fry asks what they do when they want the “Trees up,” which predictably causes them to re-emerge from the ground slamming into Fry’s crotch. As he’s stuck in a tree, he meekly commands “Trees down,” and gets slammed into the snow. I should point out, these trees appear to be some sort of pine tree, which is important for later. With Fry laying helpless in the snow, Bender skis by and taunts him with a “Looking good, meatball!”

As Bender has a laugh at his quip, a fellow skier warns him that he’s heading off the trail. Bender, who is in quite a mean mode so far this episode, just tells the guy to lick his frozen, metal, ass in response. He is immediately punished for his hubris as he plunges off of a cliff. We see him fall from behind, but then it cuts to a frozen pond where some kids are skating listlessly. A non-copywrite infringing song that sounds vaguely like “Christmas Time is Here” from A Charlie Brown Christmas plays and the image lingers just long enough to make us wonder if this is a setup going no where. It’s not, as Bender comes flying through the scene and crashes through the ice taking the children with him. According to the commentary, none survived.

Zoidberg is shown skiing and he has an unusual way of going about it. Since he’s some sort of crab monster, he puts both feet in one ski and his claws in another and goes down the hill sideways. It’s a cute visual. He stops abruptly though when he comes upon the bobsled track and finds Hermes, the Jamaican accountant of Planet Express, preparing to race down the ice sled. He laughs at the sight, but Hermes is quick to counter that a thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders. Fry is in attendance and he confirms this fact, but then adds “They came in last at the Olympics and then retired to promote alcohol.” This is a pretty consistent setup for a Futurama joke as one would expect Hermes to have a negative reaction to Fry’s statement, but this show’s writing staff loves misdirection so he instead responds with, “A true inspiration to the children.” The countdown sequence then finishes and the gate opens and rather than go forward, Hermes just slowly tips over until he’s upside down. He calls out for some help and Zoidberg just pushes him down the course upside down. He has a laugh at the misfortune of his co-worker (an uncharacteristic turn for Zoidberg, but the writers are still still feeling him out), but like we just saw with Bender, he gets his comeuppance almost immediately as he slips and falls down the course. Fry has a laugh at Zoidberg’s expense, and then decides “What the Hell?” and jumps down the course after him. We hear him crash into something at the end, but are deprived the visual.

At the lodge, we find Amy (Lauren Tom) getting cozy with someone who busted their leg skiing. He(DiMaggio) starts to detail what happened, but then Amy immediately loses interest as she’s spied someone who is even more injured (this is apparently a kink for her). It’s some guy in a full body cast and she pounces on him and suggestively says, “Hello there.” The Professor then comes skiing in still asleep, but he wakes up and is perplexed to find a medal draped around his neck. He finds the rest of the crew sitting around a roaring fire in the lodge and all appear to be damaged to some degree except Leela. Bender remarks there’s nothing like a warm fire and a Super Soaker full of cognac. He pumps it and then blasts it into his mouth. Fry says it really puts one in the Christmas mood and everyone gets confused by his statement. When Fry clarifies what he’s talking about, he does so by trying to spell Christmas, but he spells it as “X M A S.” This alerts everyone that he means Xmas, which they pronounce as X-Mas, and note that Fry must be using an archaic pronunciation like when he says “Ask” instead of “Axe” which sets off a running joke the rest of the series must abide by.

Fry doesn’t seem bothered by the change in pronunciation, but he is bummed that this will be his first Xmas away from home. Leela then seeks permission to “axe” him if it would make him feel better if they went and cut down an Xmas tree. This causes Fry to perk right up, but we do a hard cut to him being disappointed when he finds out that their idea of an old-fashioned Xmas tree is a palm tree. When he points out that an Xmas tree is supposed to be some kind of pine tree, the Professor tells him that the pine tree is extinct, “Gone the way of the poodle and your primitive notions of modesty.” He then lets his fur coat drop to the ground revealing he’s completely naked underneath, “Ah, brisk!” Fry then starts to fret that everything has changed, and apparently not for the better, but the Professor is there to soothe him still naked. I love that Fry is not phased in the least by the casual nudity. Leela argues that Fry is being ridiculous as she holds an axe over her head to line up a strike, only for another patented Futurama misdirection joke to reveal itself as a laser shoots from from the axe handle and fells the tree unnaturally. And this is the part where I remind you the characters were just skiing amongst a forest of crotch-hunting pine trees.

The Planet Express ship cuts into view with the palm tree tied down to the roof as an instrumental of “Joy to the World” chimes in the background. The ship enters the Planet Express building and we soon find the dwellers inside decorating for Xmas. A calendar on the wall shows that it’s December 24th. Zoidberg is opening a box, Fry and Leela are by the fireplace looking miserable, and the Professor and Amy are wrapping lights on the tree. Adorably, Bender is in a rocking chair with Nibbler (Frank Welker) on his lap rocking back and forth and singing “Oh Xmas Tree” while Nibbler adds his own little inflections. Fry laments all of the things he is now missing, like his mom getting a goose for goose burgers and his dad whipping up his famous eggnog which was just bourbon and ice cubes. In the background, Amy is struggling with a jet pack which has already caused her to hit her head on the ceiling while trying to place the star on the tree and then sends her careening into the wall.

Fry suggests they stop talking about Xmas, which is the cue for Hermes to come barging in shouting “Xmas cards are here! Xmas!” He hands them out which includes a mighty hall for Bender. When he gets to the last of them he sets Leela up for her cards, but it’s actually himself he is referring to as the sweet flower of the office. Leela is upset, but Fry doesn’t notice and instead asks her for a little sympathy which causes her to cry and run off. When Fry asks what upset her, Amy reminds him that she’s an orphan with the Professor adding she’s also the only known member of her species which must make her the loneliest person in the galaxy. Bender then comes over to try and cheer Fry up, but as he does a little dance Fry starts sobbing causing Bender to ponder if he needs to work on his act.

We cut to Fry seated on the couch all hunched over and sad. He declares he feels like a rat for sitting around whining like a pig while Leela was as lonely as a frog. He then adds he could kick himself, but Amy says she’ll do it for him and does. The Professor scolds him for being blind to Leela’s plight, which just cuts to Hermes telling him that Fry is “over there.” Bender is unphased though as he relaxes in a chair drinking booze and remarks how Xmas Eve is just another pointless day where he accomplishes nothing! Clearly, he needs his own plot then which is why we’re interrupted by a news broadcast. It’s hosted by Linda (Tress MacNeille) and the alien Morbo (Maurice LaMarche), the usual anchors for these broadcasts. Linda sets up her story by noting that Xmas is the time of year where we acknowledge the suffering of others, which is just Morbo’s cue to add “Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering – muahahaha!” That’s his schtick.

Linda segues into a story about homeless robots who lack the necessary alcohol needed to power their circuits. She’s at a shelter which is basically a soup kitchen, but one that deals alcohol instead. She gestures to the scene and rhetorically asks, “Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies, and there would have to be a lot of them!” Bender turns off the TV and heads for the door. Apparently, our cold-hearted mechanical man has found the Xmas spirit for he tells the others that he’s going to volunteer at the shelter. They’re all skeptical and Hermes asks when has he ever done anything charitable? Bender counters there was that time he gave blood and when Fry asks, “Whose blood?” he comes back with “Some guy’s.” With Bender gone, Fry resumes his sulking so Zoidberg suggests he get down on his claws and do the apology dance to make it up to Leela. Fry pays attention to the demonstration miming the movements, then gets the idea in his head that he can just buy her an Xmas present. As he heads for the door the others caution him to be back before sunset. Fry indicates he likes to haggle, so he isn’t making any promises, which alerts the others that Fry doesn’t know about Santa Claus! Fry confirms that he does with a knowing wink, but the Professor is here to fill him in: In 2801 the Friendly Robot Company built a robotic Santa to distribute presents, but a programming error caused Santa to have too high of standards so everyone is on his Naughty List. Amy tells Fry if he gets caught that Santa will kill him while Professor Farnsworth adds “Nice knowing you!”

Time to check-in on Bender who has arrived at the liquor kitchen, only he’s not there to volunteer, but to score free booze. He’s dirtied himself up and put on a knit cap and some torn gloves and tells a volunteer he’s one of those lazy, homeless, robots he’s been hearing about and asks where the free booze is? The guy gestures in the proper direction and Bender is in. We then check in on Fry who is at the mall in search of a gift. He’s at a counter and explains his situation to the clerk, who suggests a nice, traditional, Xmas gift: a surface-to-Santa rocket launcher outfitted with jolly-seeking missiles. Fry laughs at the suggestion which causes one of the missiles to arm itself and point in his direction prompting a word of caution from the clerk.

At the shelter, Bender is downing another bowl of booze and seems quite satisfied. He then tells the robot next to him who is modeled after an old hobo that someone is trying to steal his handkerchief full of crap. The robot turns to make sure his bindle is still there allowing Bender to steal his booze. A small, pathetic, robot approaches the counter. He’s wearing a flat cap and has a crutch for an arm. This is Tinny Tim (MacNeille), though right now he’s doing Oliver Twist as he politely asks for a bowl of booze, only to find out it’s all gone. As he sadly hobbles away, Bender says to himself, “My God, that poor kid,” and then laughs. Misdirection!

We are then whisked away to Joe’s Ark Pet Store, Formerly Noah’s Ark Shoe Store, where Fry is still in search of a gift for Leela. He pleads with the clerk as this is his last shot at finding the perfect gift. Following that is a series of gags where Fry is looking at some weird, futuristic, version of a pet and deciding it’s not good enough. Among them is an eight-legged dachshund and Bongo, the one-eared rabbit-like creature from Groening’s Life in Hell. Dissatisfied with his options, Fry asks the clerk what the best pet in the shop is and he points to the electric snail as his favorite pet. Fry declares it a stupid animal and calls the clerk stupid for suggesting it. He’s been hanging out with Bender too long. The clerk is understandably eager to get out of there before sundown and urges Fry to make a choice. Fry then zeroes in on a parrot that apparently costs 500 bucks. He remarks it’s a damn good parrot, but then spies stink lizards which are a buck each. He asks the clerk what women prefer: parrots or swarms of lizards? He’s instead urged to make a choice because the shop is closing setting up a gag where Fry goes back and forth agonizing over his decision as he basically narrates his thought process: “Okay, okay, I’ll take the 500 lizards. No! Wait! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! Yes! The parrot!” Every time he said “Yes” he inches closer to the lizards, a true misdirection if ever there was one.

With that decision made, Fry leaves with his parrot satisfied that Leela will like it. The parrot (Welker) squawks in response and Fry cheerfully remarks how it’s quite the talker. It squawks again and Fry gets angry yelling “Shut the hell up!” The parrot is able to bite his nose through the cage causing Fry to drop it. When it hits the ground it breaks open and the parrot flies off. Fry raises the cage over his head and shouts “I know where you live!” Back at the Planet Express headquarters, Amy is wrapping gifts with Zoidberg as Nibbler bounces around and Hermes and the Professor play chess. Naked. There’s even a nice opening in the chair Hermes is seated in so we can see his butt crack. Leela enters looking for Fry, only to find out that he left to go get her a present. She’s alarmed given the hour and the others act like they have no idea why, but it’s so they can setup a joke for Leela to say “I’m telling you why – Santa Claus is coming to town!”

We find Fry at the base of a very tall building with a giant digital clock that reads 4:24 on the front of it. The parrot has apparently found a perch atop it and Fry is going after him. He states, “All right bird, you thought you could beat me in a game of wits, but you just met your equal.” At least he isn’t modest. Fry emerges at the top of the building where the parrot is perched atop the big clock face. There isn’t much room so Fry inches out with his back against the wall. He scoots along, and as he does so does the parrot until it runs out of real estate. Fry thinks he has the bird cornered, but it just does what birds do – it flies. In trying to grab it, Fry loses his balance. He appears to regain it for a second, but then abruptly falls. He’s able to grab onto the number 2 of the clock face, but he’s at the end of it and the number represents seconds that are elapsing. It’s apparently a tangible digital clock that changes to 3, but when it changes to a 4 the top disappears and Fry falls again grabbing onto the middle “bar” of the digital number. He’s safe only until it becomes a 7, then there are no more bars to grab onto.

Lucky for Fry, Leela is there to grab him! Fry is so happy to see her that he declares he’s going to buy her so many lizards! Leela smiles and we cut to the pair walking out of the building. They have a heart-to-heart where Fry apologizes for ignoring her feelings and only focusing on himself. Leela accepts and suggests that at least this Xmas they can be lonely together. The two hold hands and this is probably the second big advancement of their romantic subplot following “A Flight to Remember.” As the two wish each other a “Merry Xmas,” they’re interrupted by a loud banging sound. They turn around and Fry is immediately excited to see Santa Claus! The robot gives a jolly “Ho Ho Ho,” but as it does, it’s U-shaped eyes rotate upside down into a frown as we head into an act break.

After the break, Fry and Leela do not look at all happy to see the murderous robot as it approaches. Santa (John Goodman) informs the two that they have both been very naughty this year for neglecting each other’s feelings. When they tell Santa that they made up, he counters by asking if either of them had bothered to think about the feelings of their co-worker, Dr. Zoidberg? Fry quickly responds, “No! I swear!” in an early indication of how Zoidberg is to be treated going forward. Santa then tells the two he has something very special for them in his sack. As he reaches in, there’s a quick cut to Fry’s face and he’s smiling like he thinks Santa has a present for him, but he just pulls out a laser tommy gun and starts firing madly!

Fry and Leela are forced to run for their lives and rather than watch that we cut to Bender and some homeless robots singing Xmas carols outside an old lady’s (MacNeille) home. We get a piece of the future’s version of “Here Comes Santa Claus” which strikes a very different tone from the present, “So lock the door and hit the floor ’cause Santa Claus comes tonight.” The old lady applauds the group, which includes Tinny Tim, the robot with the bindle, and another, then tells them to go away. Bender stops her by suggesting it’s customary to invite carolers in for a traditional glass of hard cider. She surprisingly agrees and the gang heads in. The door closes and the camera stays outside the townhouse as we can hear them guzzling the stuff down and the old lady tell them that’s enough. The sound of empty bottles being discarded follows along with a command from Bender to get her purse. Suddenly, this is more like A Clockwork Orange than any Christmas special I know.

The scene shifts abruptly to Fry and Leela running towards the camera as Santa flies behind them. His sleigh is being pulled by two robotic reindeer as apparently eight weren’t needed. It does speak to humanity’s efficiency that in a thousand years they were able to devise a sleigh only in need of two reindeer to power it. As Santa continues to fire away at the two, Fry begs for their lives and promises to set out milk and cookies for the robot. Santa pauses, but only to remark how shocked he is that they would try to bribe him. That’s just another naughty deed and Santa vows to shove coal so far up their “stockings” that they’ll start coughing up diamonds! In the 90s, we were very fond of jokes that involved something going up the rectum and resulting in something hilarious occurring at the mouth region.

Santa tosses a grenade in Fry and Leela’s direction which is shaped like a traditional Christmas ornament. The two avoid it by ducking into an entryway to a building, but as Santa circles and prepares to come straight at them, they also realize they have no where left to run. As the two say their goodbyes to each other, Fry notices they’re standing under the mistletoe. The two lean in for a kiss, but the mood is disrupted by Santa declaring that their mistletoe is no match for his T.O.W. missile! He pulls out a massive rocket launcher and fires away, but as the missile heads right for the screaming Fry and Leela the parrot happens to fly by. It ends up taking one for the pair and as the feathers rain down in front of them Fry tells Leela her Xmas present may require some assembly.

We jump back to Bender and his crew following their heist. Bender leads the group in his own version of the “Twelve Days of Christmas” which goes: “On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady, four family photos – three jars of pennies – two former husbands – and a slipper on a shoe tree!” Each member of the gang sings their own line and the former husbands are urns. It’s pretty clever. Tinny Tim then spies Fry and Leela running in their direction and points them out as potential next victims, but Bender tells the gang he knows them – they got nothing. Santa is close behind the two and when he spies Bender he’s got some words to share. It would seem Bender is very high on Santa’s Naughty List, and when he tells Bender this he tries to finger the kid. Santa is so appalled that Bender would frame an orphan for his misdeeds that he feels compelled to update his list. Despite the fact that he can perform 50 mega-checks per second of his list, updating it is rather time consuming and as Santa does so the others run away.

At Planet Express HQ, the decorations are all in place and the clothes are back on. Hermes, Zoidberg, Amy, and Professor Farnsworth are seated all wearing Santa hats as the gift exchange begins. Zoidberg gifts Amy a set of combs, which is ironic because Amy sold all of her hair to buy a set of combs for Hermes. He too sold his hair to buy a set of combs for…Zoidberg? The bald crustacean accepts the gift and announces it will go splendid with his new hair! He takes his hat off and one side of his head features the hair of Amy and the other the hair of Hermes. No one apparently got the Professor anything, but he’s their boss so why should they? This obvious Gift of the Magi parody is very Futurama in that it sets up the joke, then goes beyond it in a way the audience should not have expected.

The screaming of Fry, Leela, Bender, and the robot hobos puts an end to the lovely atmosphere in the room. The others see the crew from the window as they try to outrun Santa. The Professor notes they’ll be killed on their doorstep – with no trash pickup until January third. The door opens behind him and the group comes running in. They scramble to try and close the fireplace with this giant gear-like contraption, but it’s only Fry and Leela who try to push it while Bender urges them to use teamwork. Santa sticks a candy cane in front of it just before it locks into place and effortlessly forces himself inside along with his two reindeer minions.

Santa menacingly descends from the ceiling and announces to the group before him that they’ve all been very naughty, very naughty indeed! Except Dr. Zoidberg who Santa gifts with a pogo stick. As the crab bounces merrily, Santa resumes his threats by indicating he’ll tare their skin off like wrapping paper and deck the halls with their guts – not his most clever threats. Bender gets an idea and tells everyone gathered that if they don’t believe in Santa then he can’t hurt them! Santa smacks him upside the head with his sack forcing Bender to cry out “Oh, God, the pain!”

Santa then commences with his punishment as he starts to laugh. Leela warns his belly is shaking like a bowl full of nitroglycerine while Amy and Fry point out Rudolph’s blinking nose. They’re clearly going to explode which will likely kill everyone in the process. When all hope is lost, the only one on the Nice List springs into action – literally! Bouncing on his pogo stick, Zoidberg snips one of the strings of lights which swings down and contacts Santa electrocuting him in the process. As he fries, Leela jump-kicks him back into his sleigh while Fry, Amy, Hermes, and the Professor (who is dangling off the tree and not really helping) carry the Xmas tree like a battering ram and slam Santa and the reindeer into the fireplace. The robots close the barrier and an explosion goes off behind it that rockets Santa and his reindeer into the sky leaving everyone else safe at last.

With that out of the way, it’s time to serve Xmas dinner! The robots have stayed for dinner (and the wife of Hermes, LaBarbara, is suddenly present but not their son, Dwight) as Bender brings out a platter which contains…the charred remains of Leela’s dead parrot. Fry asks Bender where he got the bird and he says he got it where he gets all of the food he serves them – lying in the street. He starts carving the bird, which no one appears interested in eating, and puts a toenail on Tinny Tim’s plate. Nibbler then puts everyone out of their misery by eating the rest and then snatches the toenail from Tinny Tim’s plate. Bender is bummed, which prompts Fry to say the food isn’t important, but before he can continue Tinny Tim sadly moans to himself that he’s so hungry. Fry continues by saying despite being surrounded by robots, monsters, and old people, he’s happy to be among them all at Xmas. Everyone seems to share the same sentiment and the Professor announces that it’s time to shut up and sing!

The whole gang gathers at the piano where Hermes leads them in a traditional Xmas song. Here we get a larger sample of this universe’s “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” which goes: He knows when you are sleeping(Amy). He knows when you’re on the can(Farnsworth). He’ll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan(Leela)! Oh, you better not breath, you better not move(Hermes). You’re better off dead I’m telling you, dude(Bender). Santa Claus is gunning you down(Fry)!” Professor Farnsworth then steps into frame to announce “Merry Xmas!” as he disrobes into his birthday suit and takes his place beside his employees.

The camera zooms out through the window and pans up to the sky. We can see the skyscraper Fry dangled from earlier which now reads 8:57, which in the show’s original broadcast coincided with the actual time of day it would have been. Santa then comes flying by with a threat, he’ll be back when we least expect it – next Xmas! He laughs his evil laugh and flies into the sky and we end this one on a proper moon shot. Bravo, Futurama, bravo!

And that is the story of what Christmas Xmas is like in the year 3000. As an episode of Futurama, it follows the familiar template of Fry getting introduced to something about the future that’s changed from the past. There’s quite a few of these events in the first seasons of the show and this is one of the better ones. I tried not to keep pointing it out, but I love all of the misdirection in this one. So many jokes are just: here is the premise, here is your logical conclusion, but oh wait, that’s not the real conclusion! It’s the type of humor that can fall flat after repeat viewings because the surprises are no longer a surprise. In spite of that, this episode of Futurama remains timeless and it’s so timeless that I consider it one of the best Christmas Xmas specials ever aired.

In terms of production, there is nothing special about this episode compared with a normal episode of the show. It looks fantastic, because pretty much all of Futurama from this era looked amazing, but did have the added benefit of being the first time the show really got to play with snow. The early scenes at the lodge look terrific even if there isn’t a ton of creativity on display as far as how a ski lodge in the year 3000 might look. The skyscraper with the giant digital clock is a terrific set piece and an even better gag when it turns out it actually has a physical form that Fry can interact with. And even though he didn’t last long, the parrot was pretty amusing. Poor, little, birdy.

As an Xmas special, this one is surprisingly by the numbers for the first two acts. Two people are coping with the holiday blues brought on by loneliness and the holiday brings them together. It just brings them together in fear because Santa Claus is now homicidal. Fry and Leela nearly share a kiss, which wouldn’t have been their first since they kiss in “A Flight to Remember.” There, their kiss was one of deception and not romance so this one would have landed differently had it been allowed to take place. The show would play up the “will they won’t they” angle for many episodes to come and would eventually pair the two up. The Santa angle is present mostly for shock value, but it’s also entertaining. There are some good one-liners to be found that take a popular Xmas saying and turn it around, though it is the one aspect of the episode that does seem to get weaker as it goes along. Though it does turn things around with that humorous parody of “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” that basically takes us out.

In closing, this Xmas episode of Futurama has heart, but it’s also more funny and subversive than anything. I don’t think it has any real commentary to make on the holiday itself, but that’s fine as there’s plenty of space to do that elsewhere. This one just wants to present a ludicrous take on the holiday and give the viewer something to laugh at. If you want a funny Xmas special that doesn’t feature the crudeness of say South Park or American Dad! then this one should more than fit the bill. I absolutely love it, along with its sequel episode, and I think you will too.

If you would like to watch Futurama‘s “Xmas Story,” then the easiest way in the US is via Hulu where the show presently resides. I think the show still airs on television as well where this episode will likely air. If you’re outside the US, then it can be found on Disney+. The best way to watch it though is to simply buy all of Season Two on physical media that way yo can enjoy it, and the rest of Season Two, whenever you want.