Category Archives: Television

August 16, 2015

#6 Best in TV Animation: The Venture Bros.

By Joe

2011-03-22-Venture_brothers-533x399Our number seven entrant on this list, Archer, has a lot in common with the number six entrant. So much so, that I couldn’t, in good conscience, rank it ahead of this one. Archer’s creators got their start on Cartoon Network’s adult swim, which is where The Venture Bros. currently (I use that term loosely) reside. Both shows are essentially animated sitcoms, with Venture being the more traditionally animated one. And like Archer, both utilize a setting that’s both dated yet futuristic. And while Archer may be a more modern Get Smart or a parody of James Bond and other spy-centric shows and movies, The Venture Bros. is basically a spoof of Johnny Quest with lots of nods towards comics and geek culture sprinkled about.

The Venture Bros. is the brainchild of Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer. It first began as a fifteen minute crudely animated pilot that first debuted in 2003 on adult swim. Unlike most adult swim programs at the time (the ones created for adult swim, that is), The Venture Bros. did not use repurposed animation from other programs like Sealab 2021 or Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. The animation it did sport though was certainly still low-budget when compared with other similar cartoons. The pilot successfully introduced the main cast for the series. There’s Doctor Venture, a “super” scientist of questionable morals and credentials who is apparently riding the coat tails of his long deceased father. Doc is essentially the Johnny Quest of this show, only he grew up to be a complete failure. In the pilot, he’s trying to hawk a death ray to the UN at a peace conference. His body-guard, Brock Samson, is a short-tempered bad ass with a righteous blond mullet. He’s Race Bannon without a conscience, and the appearance of the assassin Molotov Cocktease implies that Brock has a secret past. The actual Venture brothers the title refers to are Doctor Venture’s twin sons, Hank and Dean. They basically serve as caricatures of the goody two-shoes characters that often showed up in adventure shows. Hank looks like Fred from Scooby Doo, while Dean looks like a Hardy Boys reject. They’ve, up to this point, lived sheltered lives at the family compound and have almost no sense of danger or any awareness of the world around them. The two get into some trouble, without being fully aware of it, while their dad attends the peace conference. Both are pursued by The Monarch, Dr. Venture’s self-appointed arch-enemy. For as bad as Dr. Venture is at science, The Monarch is every bit his equal as a super villain. They’re also pursued by a one-off character, a ninja, who we are lead to believe wishes to assassinate Dr. Venture but it turns out he just wants to masturbate on Venture’s death ray.

The cast started small, but continues to expand.

The cast started small, but continues to expand.

This is the type of humor the series would become known for. The pilot was deemed a success and the show was given a thirteen episode first season with each episode running a half hour, a rarity for original adult swim programs. The animation was given a boost in quality, as was the writing and voice acting. Public and Hammer voice the majority of the cast, with Seinfeld’s Patrick Warburton voicing Brock Samson. The main cast of Venture, Brock, and the two boys were kept intact, with “wacky neighbor” Dr. Orpheus brought in later (he’s a necromancer). The Monarch though was fleshed-out further, given a back story, as well as a stable of disposable henchmen. Conflicts between he and his right-hand woman, Dr. Girlfriend, highlight some episodes while his two most prominent henchmen, 21 and 24, are the other featured members of his stable. The Monarch, as it turns out, is a professional super villain contracted to harass Dr. Venture. He’s a member of The Guild of Calamitous Intent, which governs the conflicts between heroes and super villains and ensures the conflicts exist in perpetuity, essentially providing a reason why certain villain cliches exist. Venture, by virtue of his adventuring past with the original Team Venture, is still considered some kind of hero even though he’s almost irrelevant. The main theme for the show is failure, and both Dr. Venture and The Monarch embody it. Venture as the failed scientist, and Monarch as the failed villain for Venture often ignores his very existence.

Several other characters debut in the first season that would go on to make repeat appearances. There’s Professor Impossible and his family who are an obvious parody of the Fantastic Four. Unlike the comic book heroes, Professor Impossible (voiced by Stephen Colbert) is a villain who keeps his mutated family hidden. His wife’s skin is transparent, his brother in-law is constantly on fire and in tremendous pain, while the their take on The Thing is a special needs man covered by a giant callous. There’s also Baron Von Ünderbheit, a hulking man with a steel lower jaw, who is best characterized by The Monarch as a “dime store Dr. Doom.” As the seasons have gone on the cast has been increased ten-fold. Many characters who seemed like they were just part of a throw-away gag-line in past seasons, like Sergeant Hatred, would eventually show up and play meaningful roles down the road.

The Monarch is a consistent source of comedy, and despite technically being a villain, is easily one of the stars of the show.

The Monarch is a consistent source of comedy, and despite technically being a villain, is easily one of the stars of the show.

The Venture Bros. distinguishes itself from other comedies by being adaptive. During the first season, the show seemed like it would parody Johnny Quest indefinitely with the family going on a new adventure each week. Instead, to throw everyone off, two of the main characters were killed-off in the season finale. This proved to signify that the show would not always remain so static, as there was a major shake-up with The Monarch as well and new villains were brought into the fold. Later seasons would further change the dynamic of the main cast and more hero and villain organizations were introduced. The plot of the show would become more complicated and intricate, and to the surprise of probably many, its various mysteries and cliff-hangers are actually quite interesting and rewarding. It still could be criticized for becoming too complicated, as no longer can one simply tune-in to any given episode and understand what’s going on. And some of the major changes to the cast could be criticized as being the wrong move. One very funny comedic duo was broken up when one of the characters was killed off, and it being several years since that happened, I’m still not convinced it was the right move.

As the show became more popular, adult swim kicked in more money. The show is now well-animated, and while it still retains its retro charm, it also just plain looks good. The fact that the characters actually change their appearance from season to season, even sometimes episode to episode, makes it a more interesting viewing experience than many animated shows on television. By far, the show’s greatest strength though is its writing. The plot for an episode can fall flat at times, but the dialogue is often so good, and so funny, that it doesn’t matter. The show is full of colorful one-liners that could serve as the basis alone for a blog entry. The characters also remain consistent, even amid the numerous backstabs and double-crosses, and very rarely does the show introduce anyone who isn’t worthwhile.

Expect to see plenty of comic book parodies such as Professor Impossible.

Expect to see plenty of comic book parodies such as Professor Impossible.

While some of the choices to take the plot in complicated directions can be criticized, by far the easiest way to criticize the show resides in the length of time that elapses between seasons. Publick and Hammer handle the writing, and like another great comedic duo Parker and Stone, are procrastinators. Unlike Parker and Stone, Publick and Hammer aren’t locked into a contract with their network which demands episodes be delivered by a certain date, so there have been numerous hiatuses for The Venture Bros. Part of the delay also is tied up in the show’s budget, which is much larger than most adult swim shows so renewals likely do not occur fast enough for a normal turn-around between seasons. To further illustrate the point, here is the premiere date and episode count for each season:

Season 1: 8/7/2004 (13)

Season 2: 7/25/2006 (13)

Season 3: 7/1/2008 (13)

Season 4.1: 10/18/2009 (8)

Season 4.2: 9/12/2010 (8) *the season finale was an hour-long

Season 5: 6/2/2013 (8)

A mockumentary on Shallow Gravy, a fake band in the series, aired in 2011 while a Halloween special aired in 2012. A “movie” “All This and Gargantua-2” aired on January 19th of this year and was basically an hour-long special to tide fans over until season 6 begins, but there’s no air date set for the first episode of season 6. It was first expected to premier in the fall of 2014, and then early 2015 (though the hour-long special is technically the first episode of season 6 so I guess it made the premiere of early 2015), but so far we have no idea when it will continue.

The lengthy production cycle, and the some-what sub par season 5, has dimmed enthusiasm for The Venture Bros. going forward. I wonder if season 6 will be the final season, or if there’s desire from all parties to continue the show beyond that. What the show has provided so far has been comedic gold. The humble parody it first began as has evolved into something so much more and hopefully when season 6 does resume it will reignite the franchise. Even so, the first five seasons have been so strong that The Venture Bros’ place on my list is well-deserved. With a strong season 6, it could even continue to rise higher!

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July 18, 2015

#7 Best in TV Animation: Archer

By Joe

key_art_archerUp until now, this list of the best in animation television has to offer has only included shows that have since been retired. They’ve also only consisted of shows generally created for children and aired on weekend mornings or week day afternoons. Archer changes that as the show recently finished up its sixth season, having already been renewed for a seventh, and airs late nights on cable television. The show is the brainchild Adam Reed and Matt Thompson, two guys who made a name for themselves mostly via Cartoon Network’s adult swim block. Their main break-out show was Sealab 2021, a show that utilized stock footage from the old Hannah Barbera cartoon Sealab 2020, a mostly drab and wooden show from the 70’s that few probably remember fondly. The animation was recycled and characters re-dubbed. What was once an environmentally conscious show with a sci-fi feel to it now was a show about a bunch of narcissistic, perverted, and some-what insane researchers stuck with each other miles under water. The show was funny and crude and one of the first ever programs to air on adult swim. If not for the untimely death of voice actor Harry Goz, the series likely would have lasted longer than it did.

Much like its predecessor Sealab 2021, Archer also feature minimalist animation and a cast of characters with few redeeming qualities. Unlike Sealab, the animation is created for the series and the characters are all new. While it has definitely been improved since season one, where characters wore mostly wooden facial expressions, the show’s approach to animation is as much about keeping down production costs as it is a stylistic choice. The show stars secret agent Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) who works for his mother’s firm ISIS (no, not that ISIS) as a field agent. Archer is an alcoholic, whore-mongering, sociopath who is emotionally abusive to nearly everyone around him. He’s the self-professed world’s greatest secret agent and is not at all secretive about that. He’s particularly mean-spirited, with the bulk of his abuse directed towards his man-servant Woodhouse who has dutifully served him since birth. And while he is indeed talented at what he does, his vices often mean that his missions are spectacular failures with Archer often getting side-tracked by sex, booze, or the occasional ocelot.

Sterling Archer is a secret agent devoid of any sense of professionalism or responsibility.

Sterling Archer is a secret agent devoid of any sense of professionalism or responsibility.

Archer’s co-workers at ISIS are also pretty flawed individuals. The other lead field agent is Lana Kane (Aisha Tyler), who also happens to be Archer’s ex. Unlike Archer, Lana definitely cares about her job but her love/hate relationship with Archer often gets in the way. She has major commitment issues and when we first meet her she’s currently in a one-sided relationship with the staff accountant Cyril Figgis (Chris Parnell), whom she is most-likely dating just to piss off Archer. Cyril is everything Archer isn’t. He’s a professional and compassionate individual but his insecurities often get the best of him. He also may or may not be a sex addict. He’s so eager to please Lana that he’s often terrible at picking up on what she actually wants out of him. Because his tight-laced demeanor makes him such an easy target, Archer never passes up an opportunity to rip on him or embarrass him in some way. Cheryl Tunt (Judy Greer) is the masochistic staff secretary. She actively seeks out both emotional and physical abuse (she has a fondness for strangulation) which leads her to Archer who can’t even bother to learn her name. She’s also extremely self-centered to the point where she really could not be bothered to care about anyone or anything that doesn’t directly involve her. Pam Poovey (Amber Nash) is the HR consultant for ISIS with an addictive personality. When we first meet her she seems like a sympathetic individual who is unjustly picked on by everyone else at work (mostly on account of her excessive weight) but is soon to be revealed to be just as shitty as everyone else. She has a massive appetite for not only food, but sex and drugs as well and she is not particularly discriminatory about where any of it comes from. She also offers no apologies for her behaviour and seems to be genuinely at peace with herself. Ray Gillette (Adam Reed) is another field agent who happens to be homosexual. He’s actually a pretty okay guy and a competent field agent, though he did pretend to be paralyzed to get out of work. Dr. Krieger (Lucky Yates) is the resident scientist of questionable morals. His lineage is also strongly hinted at throughout the series and is of dubious origins. His creations generally work, but his means are often unethical. Rounding out the main cast is Archer’s mother, Malory (Jessica Walter) who embodies many of the same vices of her son though she is more in control of herself. She is a former field agent herself and it’s unclear how she keeps ISIS afloat considering how poor their track record is.

Archer's co-workers aren't really any better.

Archer’s co-workers aren’t really any better.

The animation for the program is clearly not the star, as I pointed out earlier, it’s rather minimalist. The style for the show resembles something from the 1970’s, though modern technology is available and used by the cast. The writing is the show’s strength and the voice cast is an impressive one. Everyone seems to commit to their role 100%, no matter how ludicrous or filthy their characters become. The show’s mean-spirited approach to comedy isn’t for everyone, but it’s effortlessly funny just in its character interaction alone. The characters have also remained flexible, with many changing considerably since the first season. Most of the supporting cast felt like one-note archetypes at first, but have all gone not on to embody other traits and qualities. The only drawback is that virtually all of the characters have seemingly gone to the same place, with all becoming more and more like Archer each season. And while the show is a comedy, that doesn’t mean it’s not without plot. Many of the storylines carry over and are referenced again and again throughout the series and there’s hardly ever a throw-away character as most will pop up again. The relationships amongst the main cast also change and evolve, though they’re such bad people in general that it’s hard for the show to get the audience to root for any of the characters becoming a couple or even finding happiness. To go along with the impressive voice cast is a pretty dynamite score by Scott Sims, The opening theme is very jazzy and 60’s influenced and sounds like it could have easily fit into a number of James Bond soundtracks (or Cowboy Bebop).

There are many recurring jokes on the show, including Archer's obsession with Burt Reynolds and a certain song by Kenny Loggins.

There are many recurring jokes on the show, including Archer’s obsession with Burt Reynolds and a certain song by Kenny Loggins.

As a comedy series, Archer gets a lot of things right, but it’s also nearly impossible to watch it and not acknowledge that it shares a lot in common with the adult swim series The Venture Bros. From its hybrid dated, yet modern, look to the constant element of failure by the characters, it almost feels like a sister show. Even the opening themes are fairly similar. Which isn’t that surprising considering Reed and Thompson both came from the same place and being compared to The Venture Bros. is not at all a bad thing. Archer separates itself by upping the ante on the filth and depravity of its cast. It’s one of the show’s strengths and the main source for comedy, though it also holds the show back from ever really being able to do an emotional episode. For those that enjoy the show, that’s probably just fine as I personally would hate to see Archer try to make me do anything but laugh.

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July 2, 2015

#8 Best in TV Animation: Gargoyles

By Joe

disney-has-gargoyles-legally-streaming-on-youtube-socialWhen I started this feature I swear I did not intend to list the best cartoons aimed at children, that’s just how it’s worked out so far. I promise the next few are going to trend older. That said, Gargoyles is a pretty terrific show whether you’re 8 or 18. The show borrowed heavily from comics and was obviously influenced by the likes of Batman and X-Men. Like most cartoons geared towards boys, the show featured plenty of action but also contained plenty of drama. It asked a lot of its viewers, opting for a more serialized narrative structure with numerous callbacks to older episodes. Sometimes, plots required multiple episodes to develop and pay-off which is probably one reason why the show aired weekdays as opposed to Saturday mornings (though the final season was moved to Saturdays). Lastly, as a Disney produced and developed cartoon show, the program featured slick animation and stellar production values all around.

Gargoyles first began airing in 1994 and centered around the character Goliath, the leader of a clan of Gargoyles displaced by time and forced to adapt to life in New York City. The premise for the show was established over the first five episodes and the lore of the world is firmly established here. Gargoyles are beast-like creatures that are active at night, and stone by day. During the middle ages they protected a castle inhabited by humans in Scotland but were betrayed with most of the gargoyles destroyed while they slept. Magic is also a part of this world, and the remaining gargoyles that survived the attack were placed under a spell that would keep them stone until the castle they inhabited rose above the clouds. Of course, this would happen when a man by the name of David Xanatos purchased the castle and placed it atop a skyscraper in New York.

MacBeth is one of the more prominent antagonists in the series.

MacBeth is one of the more prominent antagonists in the series.

Over the resulting episodes, the gargoyles would come to view Xanatos as an enemy, as well as many others. Surviving outside of the curse is Goliath’s old flame, Demona, a female gargoyle who is like the Magneto to Goliath’s Xavier. She wishes to exterminate humanity while Goliath sees value in forging alliances with people and serving as their protectors. Goliath and his clan, consisting of fellow gargoyles Hudson, Broadway, Lexington, Brooklyn, and Bronx, forge a bond with detective Elisa Maza and basically become protectors of New York. They don’t run around like Batman, but their presence draws out and attracts the attention of various foes, many from the past. Some are more interesting than others. Throughout the series, Demona is a worthy foe for the clan. She’s ruthless and cunning, and even though she often finds herself on the losing side the writers manage to maintain her credibility as a villain. MacBeth is another stand-out foe. He and Demona share a bond as a result of a curse and neither one can die unless the other is killed which makes for an interesting dynamic. MacBeth is no friend to Goliath and company, leading to numerous instances where the gargoyles are caught between MacBeth and Demona, who despise one another.

Stylistically, the show is quite dark. This is to be expected since the primary protagonists are only active at night. The gothic influence in the look and music invite comparisons to another well-regarded cartoon; Batman: The Animated Series. So natural was the likeness that Batman producer Bruce Timm was asked about the show more than once and was said to be not a fan of Gargoyles. The tone of the show was certainly quite serious, even melodramatic. The serialized nature of the show and the human/gargoyle dynamic make it seem more comparable to X-Men, particularly the first two seasons. There’s even a beauty and the beast vibe going on (and the allusions were quite literal in one episode) between Elisa and Goliath. Their relationship starts off professional early on and gradually develops into something more. If you’re looking for pay-off though, you’ll have to consult the not safe for work fan-fiction of a few a diehards (you may want to enable safe search between doing a google image search of Elisa and Goliath) scattered across the internet.

Goliath and Elisa share a bond bordering on love that only intensifies as the series goes on.

Goliath and Elisa share a bond bordering on love that only intensifies as the series goes on.

One thing that Gargoyles did that I can appreciate is that it added to its cast. In X-Men, several mutants and other heroes would cameo on various episodes. These characters, like Archangel and Nightcrawler, were members of the team in the comics but would never join the roster on the television show. This used to bug me, though I understand why the show runners would want to try and keep the cast as manageable as possible. Gargoyles expanded its roster during the second season and it was cool to see. Villains were also eliminated or changed while others, like Xanatos, would become grayer as the series progressed.

Where the show opens itself up for criticism is within its tone and scope. Two things that I consider a strength, do sometimes bog it down. The show is so grim at times it feels joyless. There’s moments for comedic relief but not a lot when compared with contemporary programs. The show also became burdened with the lore it created, particularly during the last half of season two, and sometimes the show felt like it was becoming too big for its own good. It’s no surprise that the show kind of fizzled out towards the end and the final third season is rather poor.

Gargoyles earns its place on my list of top animated television shows because it scores very well across the board, even though it doesn’t quite knock-it-out-of-the-park in any one category. Though maybe I should amend that last sentiment because I’ve underplayed how stellar the animation is for a televised program. The first season especially is borderline feature-film worthy, which is something Batman can’t even boast. Gargoyles is a really unique program when compared with the other Disney Afternoon shows and it would be nice to see Disney try to revive the franchise in at least a small way (cough KingdomHeartsThree cough).

If you’re interested in reading more of my thoughts on Gargoyles, you can fine reviews for the three DVD releases here, here, and here as well as read my arguments for why it should be included in a popular gaming franchise here. Enjoy.

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June 10, 2015

#9 Best in TV Animation: The Ren & Stimpy Show

By Joe

renstimpylogoThe thumping bass line leads into a frantic percussion section punctuated with a quick strike of a guitar and The Ren & Stimpy Show is on! The third and most unique of Nickelodeon’s early 90’s Nicktoons, the show was a throwback to the Golden Era of cartoons embodied by directors such as Chuck Jones and Tex Avery. This was a show for animators, for cartoon lovers, for people that wanted a show to just make them laugh. The process of creating an episode, from start to finish, was handled by one director and just a few writers who bounced ideas off one another. There was no rigid, segmented process where every aspect of the show had to be overseen by a specialist and there was no nefarious merchandizing gimmick turning the program into an extended commercial. The Ren & Stimpy Show simply existed for the love of it.

The early days of Nickeldeon consisted of live-action programming mixed in with educational programming for young children. The animation came from outside sources with the most notable being the Looney Tunes package program featuring classic cartoons. As the network grew, the desire to produce its own cartoons naturally arose and thus the Nicktoons were born. Consisting originally of Doug, Rugrats, and The Ren & Stimpy Show, the block first began airing on Sunday morning in 1991 and were so successful that they ended up being just the first in a long line of cartoons. While Doug and Rugrats were fairly tame in their approach to entertainment, Ren & Stimpy stood out for their crass, gross-out style of humor that would eventually land them on Nick’s late-night block of Saturday night programming and even a handful of MTV appearances.

Ren's rotting teeth, as seen here, are an example of the highly detailed (and often gross) still images the show would make use of.

Ren’s rotting teeth, as seen here, are an example of the highly detailed (and often gross) still images the show would make use of.

Conceived primarily by animator John Kricfalusi, Ren and Stimpy were atypical characters existing in a fairly typical format. They were a natural odd couple, being a dog and cat, but broke the mold in a sense by being rather unappealing to look at. Ren, gangly and liver-spotted, resembled a mosquito more than a chihuahua at times while Stimpy was a cat in name only. Rotund with a big, blue nose, he had no worries of being mistaken for Sylvester or Tom. The show was a half-hour program but mostly consisted of two shorts that would drop Ren and Stimpy into completely new environments with no continuity from one episode to the next. In fact, several episodes ended with the characters in hopeless situations or even implied death

The show’s intention was to make the viewer laugh. There were some bits of sentimentality tossed in to appease the network, but mostly the show wanted to be funny in the most obnoxious way possible. The characters often screamed with Ren in particular prone to violent tirades. Stimpy was the dumb one with a good heart while Ren often abused him both physically and emotionally. The show was able to retain its humor because Ren usually got what was coming to him making the show feel like it earned the laughs that came at Stimpy’s expense. The show often resorted to gross imagery for its humor. Stimpy would frequently cough up a lumpy hairball or show viewers his collection of snot he kept under a coffee table. Kitty littler featured prominently in multiple episodes with characters even eating the stuff right out of the litter box. By far, the show’s most memorable gross gag was the long-running extreme and highly detailed close-up shots of characters. These still images usually depicted characters at their worst with bloodshot eyes and hairy moles. The most memorable may have been when Ren revealed a mouth full of rotting teeth in response to Stimpy’s proper dental hygiene.

Because of its penchant for violence and toilet humor, Kricfalusi often found himself battling with standards and practices at Nickelodeon. One very memorable episode featured the characters playing a board game called “Don’t Wiz on the Electric Fence” climaxing with Ren doing just as the box suggested he not do and all the characters being sent to Hell. Another episode, “Man’s Best Friend,” climaxes with Ren violently beating a man with an oar. The animation goes into slow-motion as Ren strikes the man and his head violently squishes and twists with each strike of the oar. It’s the episode often cited as being the last straw for Kricfalusi, who was fired by Nickelodeon in 1992, barely a year after the first episode aired.

Nickelodeon would turn to co-creator Bob Camp to head up the show for the remainder of its run through 1995. Voice acting dynamo Billy West, originally hired to voice Stimpy, took over as Ren and added to his impressive resume (though one wonders what lasting damage all of the screaming from this show did to his vocal chords). Still, without Kricfalusi the show was doomed. It was still capable of making people laugh at times but it often felt directionless, even pointless.

The background was often used as a tool to heighten the emotion and intensity of the onscreen action as opposed to merely being a set piece.

The background was often used as a tool to heighten the emotion and intensity of the onscreen action as opposed to merely being a set piece.

From an animated perspective, the show was quite excellent. Everything was hand-drawn and the backgrounds often popped with detail. The show was not afraid to borrow from several styles of art, even abstract. In addition to the detailed still shot the show was known for, there was also frequent use of emotive backgrounds, usually when a character screamed or was frightened. Instead of the standard background being present, it might be a splatter effect or just splotches of color. Music was a big part of the show as well. The jazzy theme song was unmistakeable, and some of the show’s most iconic scenes include song such as the “Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy” segment from “Stimpy’s Invention” or the theme for the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen. The music and visual effects all came together to help give the show it’s off the wall vibe.

The Ren & Stimpy Show could be described as one of those programs, or events, that burned too hot for it to last long. It may have remained in production until 1995, but the show’s creative output was only at its peak for a year or so. For that reason, it’s inclusion on such a list as this one could be debated, but it left such a mark on the 1990’s that it felt too hard to exclude. Many shows would follow and try to imitate what The Ren & Stimpy Show started but virtually none of them succeeded. Even Kricfalusi tried reviving the show in 2003 as an adult-oriented comedy program but the magic was long gone. It’s possible Ren and his pal Stimpy were simply not meant to last as long as Bugs or Daffy, but for the short while they were around they made an impact and their cartoons stand the test of time.

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June 8, 2015

#10 The Best in TV Animation: X-Men

By Joe

SF.Graz.1.0317––HANDOUT ART OF THE X–MEN CARTOON SERIES.

When I settled on doing a top ten for animation on television there were eight entrants I felt rather strongly about, and a ninth I was pretty content with. The tenth spot was the wildcard and a number of programs were considered, but since this is my list (and it’s not exactly an original topic) I decided I should use this spot to highlight a personal favorite of mine, so I went with X-Men. That’s a pretty flimsy lead-in but it’s not as if X-Men is undeserving of praise. I’ve wrote about the series quite a bit, even going so far as to do a mini review for each of the show’s 76 episodes during this blog’s first year of existence. At the time, I was using the show as a device to keep me posting but I was also reliving what was probably my favorite show as a kid.

X-Men launched on the Fox network in October of 1992, and at the time, was another attempt to re-ignite Marvel’s television properties. Prior to its debut, a pilot had been produced in the late 80’s called “Pryde of the X-Men” which focused on a much different cast of mutants. It was never picked up, and Marvel’s television properties were fading from memory. The same could be said for superhero cartoons in general, as only recently did Batman return to animation shortly before X-Men debuted. X-Men was the best-selling comic at the time, so it made sense for a cartoon to finally break through. Before X-Men (and Batman), cartoons based on comic book heroes tended to be pretty generic and bland. They usually took the form of the hero, or heroes, taking on the villain of the week and toppling whatever hair-brained scheme had been concocted by said villain to take-over the world or just cause general mayhem. Other shows, like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, were just severely watered-down aspects of the source material intended to move action figures, which in the 80’s became frequently attached to various cartoon properties (He-Man being the best example of a cartoon existing solely to sell toys).

Wolverine and Gambit were likely to two most popular characters on the show, but that didn't stop the writers from developing many others.

Wolverine and Gambit were likely to two most popular characters on the show, but that didn’t stop the writers from developing many others.

X-Men was different. This was a show that, while aimed at children, wanted to bring legitimacy to the medium. The show placed its brightly colored heroes against the backdrop of an easy to grasp civil rights movement. Enemies were no longer defined as simply bad guys but were colored with shades of gray and given real motivations for their actions. Magneto was the prime example. Had “Pryde of the X-Men” been picked up, Magneto would have just been another super villain with a motley crew of evil mutants willing to do his bidding and match up against the heroic X-Men. In the Fox show, he was a Holocaust survivor which had convinced him that humanity could not accept the differences within its own kind, and therefore, could never accept anyone outside humanity. In this case, that was mutant-kind, often referred to as homo-superior by Magneto. Mutants often took the form of normal looking people but with special gifts. We the audience took those gifts to be super powers, and in the case of the X-Men, most could be described as such. They did often come with costs that were more obvious for certain individuals. Cyclops could not open his eyes without a special visor or else risk destroying anything in his line of sight. Rogue could not even touch another person skin-to-skin without putting them in a coma. And Beast was simply covered in blue fur. This take, later admitted by creator Stan Lee as a lazy way to explain how the X-Men got their powers, freed the writers from having to come up with yet another experiment gone wrong origin story for every mutant under the sun.

This civil rights narrative is what framed the first two seasons of the show. The opening plot revolved around an organization funded by the government who would pose as friends to mutants but was really secretly creating a database of mutants from which it could target them and, though only hinted at during the show since it was for kids, cull them from society. The X-Men could not simply fight this opponent and beat them into submission, but had to convince the United States government that this was the wrong course of action. As a child, some of this went over my head. When Beast was put on trial in episode three I did not understand why the X-Men did not simply break him out of jail. Such would have likely been the course of action in many of the show’s contemporaries with the plot either being resolved at the episode’s conclusion or just dropped entirely. Instead, Beast spent the bulk of the first season in jail awaiting a formal trial before finally being pardoned after the X-Men were able to win-over at least one prominent political figure.

Magneto was easily the show's most successful attempt at blurring the lines between hero and villain.

Magneto was easily the show’s most successful attempt at blurring the lines between hero and villain.

After the first season, it seemed like all was right with the world but the show once more took a more sophisticated approach. With mutants gaining more legal freedoms, bigoted members of society sprung up to do what they felt the government failed to do. Once more, the show mirrored society in that the X-Men couldn’t hope to ever win over everybody to their side. The show would lose touch with this narrative after season two, instead opting to take the show in a more sci-fi direction while focusing on more condensed plots, but in those two seasons X-Men did a lot to legitimize the superhero genre outside of the comic book world. It’s the strength of those two first seasons, merely 26 episodes, that vaults the X-Men into this position, but the show also got a lot else right.

For starters, the voice cast (comprised of Canadian voice actors mostly unknown to American audiences) did an excellent job with the often weighty material. The show could, at times, be joyless and very melodramatic and the scripts would often contain superhero jargon that probably read poorly, but the actors were able to step up and deliver. Some characters, like the perennially wooden Storm, were always lacking but others shined very bright. For me, I will always hear Cal Dodd’s voice in my head whenever I read a line from Wolverine. His raspy, quiet, delivery perfectly suited the sometimes explosive Wolverine. When the show needed him to get loud and angry, Dodd was able to come through time and time again. David Hemblen’s Magneto was another highlight. This show is one of the few that actually depict the Austrian Magneto with an accent, something even the films chose to ignore. George Buza’s Beast was so good that it obviously formed the template for the Kelsey Grammer version of the character that appeared in X-Men 3. The soundtrack was also a standout, mixing orchestral instruments with electronic aspects that suited the show’s somewhat futuristic-like setting. The theme song should be considered a cartoon classic at this point.

The show never added to its core cast of X-Men, but that didn't stop other fan-favorites from appearing in the show, like Nightcrawler.

The show never added to its core cast of X-Men, but that didn’t stop other fan-favorites from appearing in the show, like Nightcrawler.

Visually, the show adopted the look of Jim Lee’s X-Men quite well with some minor alterations. Most of what makes up the Jim Lee style was still retained though, with the men having bulging physiques and the woman looking like super models. Even the extras in society tend to look idealized. It’s a legitimate criticism of Lee’s work but I’m sure the animators were happy that the vast majority of characters were basically the same shape. There is enough detail in the work that the show looks quite nice in still-shots. The animation, especially in the first season when the budget presumably was at its smallest, could be stiff at times. The animators were obviously under some constraints as well as to what kind of violence could be depicted. After the first season though, the animation improved noticeably. X-Men was not the best looking of its kind, but it certainly was not among the worst. I enjoyed it far more than I would Spider-Man, which came in 1994 and featured some primitive, and mostly ugly, computer-enhanced imagery as well as a softer color palette.

X-Men was able to leave a mark on the world of cartoons. It’s solid production values combined with its mature approach to story-telling is what makes it standout amongst other Saturday morning fare. X-Men is still the gold standard for the super hero ensemble show, and still stands as the best thing Marvel has ever done on television. X-Men took risks in a world where risk-taking is often frowned upon. Most people think kids want a mindless program where the hero always wins and everything is wrapped up in 22 minutes. Children are capable of so much more and the success of X-Men is proof of that.

If you want to read more about the X-Men animated series, there’s plenty to be found on this blog. In addition to numerous posts that summarize and review every episode, I also made an entry on what I considered to be the best episodes the show ever produced.

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May 29, 2015

The Best in Televised Animation – Introduction

By Joe

ARCHIVAL PHOTOProbably 90% of the posts here could be separated into two broad categories:  video games and animation. Thus it would come as no surprise to anyone who has spent even a small sum of time browsing this blog that I love animation, especially the classic hand-drawn kind. I’ve never given much thought as to why I enjoy animation so much. I would guess it’s because animation can do anything, even things live-action cannot. It can imitate real life or do the exact opposite. It’s often a haven for comedy and a natural destination for characters who began life as a comic book.

Animation has spent considerable time on the big screen and on television. As film, animation often takes the form of a general audience picture running around ninety minutes. It of course began life as a short subject often pre-empting a more traditional picture, then Walt Disney came along and decided animation could go feature-length. On television, animation often occupies children’s programming, but select shows have broken through as animated sitcoms and adults-only comedy acts. Trying to narrow down the best animated films and television shows is quite a tall task, which is why this feature is going to concern itself with television for now. This I envision will be a long-running feature. I’ve settled on what I consider to be the ten best animated programs, but there’s always the possibility I could continue to add to it even after I do a write-up on my ten favorites. It’s also possible I never finish. The possibilities are endless!

Before getting to my top 10, I wanted to make an introductory post on the feature and use it as an opportunity to highlight the shows that just missed the cut. My list does not exclude the animation aimed at children and my top ten is almost half kid’s shows and half adult programs. I tried to approach all of them with the same basic questions:  Is the show entertaining? Is the medium used well? Is the artwork pleasing to the eye while suiting the show’s needs? Naturally, the list will be influenced by the era I grew up in, the 80’s and 90’s, so the shows that came before that time are unfairly penalized (though in my opinion, most of the cartoons from that era are garbage). I also didn’t include the package shows like Looney Tunes. I loved those cartoons growing up, but they’re theatrical shorts

With that out of the way, it’s time to hit on the ones that just missed my list. One of the first cartoons I can remember watching daily as a kid is DuckTales. DuckTales was extremely pleasing to the eyes, like just about all of the Disney cartoons from that era, and featured a fun, engaging plot with likable characters and a catchy soundtrack. It holds up pretty well today, but is obviously aimed at children. The show could get redundant as well as the premise for most episodes was Scrooge having to thwart the Beagle Boys, but as far as children’s entertainment goes, it’s hard to beat DuckTales.

Spider-Man has made numerous appearances on television, but the oddest looking is probably the best.

Spider-Man has made numerous appearances on television, but the oddest looking is probably the best.

DuckTales was an adventure program, and another adventure program that’s still fun to this day is Dragon Ball. Hailing from Japan, Dragon Ball tells the tale of Goku who travels the world in search of the seven magic dragon balls. The plot gets more complicated than that as the show moves along, but it’s packed with equal parts action and humor. Since it arrived in the states after its sequel series, Dragon Ball Z, anime dubbing was able to improve and english speaking audiences were treated to a wonderful dub, something that was rare during the 90’s. Dragon Ball Z is the more popular show, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the quality of Dragon Ball.

Superheroes have seen a great many takes on their comics in the world of televised animation. One such character has received numerous adaptations: Marvel’s Amazing Spider-Man. Two adaptations stand-out for the wall crawler, the simply titled Spider-Man from the 1990’s and the more recent Spectacular Spider-Man. The 90’s Spider-Man was a great introduction for kids unfamiliar with the character. It hit on lots of Spidey’s most famous stories from the comics, and even though it was for children, it took itself very seriously. Sometimes too seriously. Spectacular Spider-Man distinguished itself with a unique look. It’s style was a bit off-putting at first, but the animation was crisp and the show packed a ton of energy. Sadly, it was a casualty of the Marvel purchase by Disney and an inferior Spider-Man program took its place.

Superhero shows were quite popular in the 90’s, but one stood out amongst the crowd for its satirical take on the genre. I am, of course, talking about The Tick. The Tick closed out the mega-popular Fox Saturday Morning block of programming and was a particularly zany take on the superhero genre. It was probably too weird and too out there for a lot of kids, but it’s definitely a show that works better on older audiences. So obvious was this fact that Fox attempted a live-action sitcom starring the dim-witted blue hero starring Patrick Warburton. It was not a success.

The Tick was a breath of fresh air coming on the heels of numerous melodramatic superhero cartoons.

The Tick was a breath of fresh air coming on the heels of numerous melodramatic superhero cartoons.

In the world of adult cartoons, Family Guy is pretty popular these days. It was roughly animated when it first showed up, but the increased ratings lead to better production and the show looks much better these days. Unfortunately, like another very famous adult cartoon that I’ll get to much later, its current output is far less creative than the first couple of seasons. Family Guy really only had 2 and a half seasons of good content before the formula became too obvious and the characters unlikable. An even more vulgar program for older audiences, Beavis and Butt-head dominated a small chunk of the 90’s. It was impossible to find a teen that didn’t know who those two were. The show was a lot sharper than most gave it credit for, though the animation was as crude as it comes. It would make a Hell of a nice time capsule kind of show.

When it comes to cartoons not aimed primarily at children though, all present cartoons owe a great deal to The Flintstones. The Flintstones were basically a stone-aged take on The Honeymooners and the first primetime cartoon. It’s premise is clever, and the setting is a good example of one that works far better in animation that it ever could have as live-action (just watch The Flintstones movie if you’re not convinced of that). It’s also a show hurt by the age of your humble writer. I grew up watching The Flintstones in syndication when it aired as just another cartoon among many others. I enjoy it for what it is, but it doesn’t engage me enough to make my top ten. It very nearly did though just on its laurels, but I wanted to go with the programs that I personally enjoy the most, because after all, it is my list.

All of those shows I just mentioned were good at one point or another, though truthfully, other than The Flintstones, it wasn’t hard for me to leave any of them off my list. The ten I have picked as the best really are ten shows I enjoy quite a lot and I look forward to doing write-ups on them as I find time. And now, a few others I considered for this post:  Rugrats, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012, 2003), Rocko’s Modern Life, Sealab 2021, Batman Beyond, and Bob’s Burgers.

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May 17, 2015

Lego Simpsons: The Kwik-E-Mart and Mini Figures Series 2

By Joe

IMG_0445Last year, Lego released its first set and series of mini figures styled after The Simpsons, the animated institution that has anchored Fox’s Sunday Night lineup longer than Justin Bieber’s been alive. Debate the merits of the program’s more recent seasons all you want, but it couldn’t diminish my curiosity for a set of Legos based on the venerable series. The first set, predictably, was the home of the Simpsons while series one of the mini figures focused on most of the key characters from the show. Because the cast is so large, and the world so developed, there was already instant demand for a series two and Lego has delivered. And for the second construction set Lego tabbed Springfield’s most iconic convenience store:  The Kwik-E-Mart.

A few months ago I blogged on the subject of a series two for Lego and concluded that the Kwik-E-Mart was the most likely follow-up set. The only location that could possibly rival it is Moe’s Tavern, but Lego’s anti-alcohol policy makes that one a no-go right from the start. The Kwik-E-Mart may seem like a smaller set when compared with the Simpsons’ house, but Lego managed to stuff almost as many bricks into it as it did for the house, due in large part to all of the goods being peddled by Apu and his corporate masters. The set retails in the US for the same $200 the house retailed for, which felt high but wasn’t enough of a deterrent to keep me from purchasing it. In hindsight, it’s probably still too high but I think I actually like this one more than the Simpsons’ house, and I’ll tell you why.

imageThe Kwik-E-Mart is fairly large when compared with the house. It’s only one story high but the floorplan is more square and deeper than the house. It too features hinged portions to open it up for viewing/play and the roof lifts off for easy access to the store’s innards. Two of the store’s walls are lined with freezers, one of which features a decal of Frostillicus, and their construction is creative and adds depth. There’s a teeny, tiny, backroom that’s not true to the actual layout of the store, but I appreciate the fact that Lego at least attempted to include it. The other walls are lined with a cash machine, arcade games, and a coffee area. The central desk features a hot dog heater and a donut rack. Behind the desk is the all important Squishee machine and display cases come with copies of Angry Dad and other prints recognizable to Simpsons fanatics. All of the little details, like the puddle of Squishee on the floor or the different levels of the fruit punch and lemonade coolers are creative and extremely well done. Some of the aisle goods are a bit bland, but they’re the exception. Much of the detail of the freezer goods is almost wasted considering how unnoticeable it is and I love that Lego included a lone hot dog wedged between the counters. Adjacent to the store is a dumpster area and the roof features a crude representation of Apu’s garden. It may not come close to resembling the television garden, but it’s great that Lego included it.

A familiar site for Apu.

A familiar site for Apu.

The set comes packed with five mini figures:  Apu, Homer, Marge, Bart, Chief Wiggum, and Snake. Of the five, only Snake is exclusive to the set. Apu and Wiggum feature new outfits with Apu in clerk attire and Wiggum in a donut-stained suit. Homer, Marge, and Bart are essentially the same figures released in wave one of last year’s mini figure line. I understand that Lego likely feels compelled to include members of the Simpsons clan in any set it does, but it could have done something to make these three feel a little special. Marge and Bart could have had screen-printed jackets and Homer could have come with the giant hat he wore to spy on Apu for the local investigative news report. Or he could have been clothed in his clerk attire from the episode he took a part-time job at the Kwik-E-Mart. At any rate, it wouldn’t have required much effort to make these three figures unique but Lego opted not to. Also included is a squad car for Wiggum that can actually fit both he and Snake inside it. Accessories-wise, Lego doesn’t really do guns but there is a piece in the set that certainly resembles a gun (pictured) that Snake can utilize. It’s the same piece that’s also used to create Bart’s spray-paint. Marge has a basket, and Wiggum has some handcuffs. Nothing exciting, but certainly appropriate. The store has the better accessories, including a better looking Squishee cup (when compared with the coffee-like cup the mini-figure of Apu came with) and tiny cans of buzz cola.

image

It’s like kissing a peanut!

The Kwik-E-Mart, minor nitpicks aside, is a success for Lego and fans of the Simpsons. As for series two of the mini figures, it’s somewhat a success but not as obviously so. First, let’s talk about the bad. As expected, each member of the family gets another figure. For Homer, Marge and Lisa, they’re given more formal attire. For Homer and Marge it’s their date attire we see from time to time while Lisa is wearing the dress we most often see her wearing when the family attends church. Bart is dressed as his alter ego Bartman, which was expected. Joining him is Milhouse as Fall-Out Boy. I don’t think anyone was clamoring for another edition of Milhouse, but at least he pairs well with Bartman. Maggie is also back but this time she’s exactly the same as she was in series one. This is unacceptable. Lego could have at least put her in her white onesie she sometimes wears or her starfish snow suit. Unfortunately, Maggie comes packed with Santa’s Little Helper (who really should have been included with the house last year) so fans who want to have a complete Simpsons’ family will have to pick her up again (Lisa comes with Snowball). The other members of the wave include some familiar faces: Willie, Professor Frink, Dr. Hibbert, Pattie, Selma, Smithers, Hans Moleman, Martin, Comic Book Guy, and Mrs. Krabappel.  It’s easy to second-guess Lego here as should we really have received a Frink before a Skinner? Dr. Hibbert before Sideshow Bob? Complaints about the selection aside, most of the new characters look great. My only gripes there are with Hibbert and Frink’s lab coats, which are printed on instead of being actual pieces. Comic Book Guy also, like Wiggum from last year, appears too thin. I wish Lego would do something to make the really obese characters stand-out as such, but it’s apparent they’re not going to do that. The included accessories for each character make sense, with the Simpsons’ pets being the obvious stand-outs. Willie probably should have come with a rake, and Hans a cane, but that’s no great omission.

Like all of Lego’s mini figures, these are released in blind bags. Those willing to swallow their pride and hang out by the display case feeling-up the bags should have little trouble in coming away with a complete set with minimal doubles. I was hasty in my first attempt and mistook a Selma for a Pattie, a Hans for Martin, and a couple other screw-ups. I ended up keeping one double, the Hans, and made use of the many Barts that have been released by swapping heads and depicting Hans as he appeared in the episode “Burns’ Heir,” when he briefly joined the Simpsons.

The two sets side by side.

The two sets side by side.

In the end, this wave of figures and the Kwik-E-Mart are fun and rewarding for longtime fans. They also accomplish the goal of making fans hungry for a series three. There are numerous essential characters that have yet to be featured and still plenty of Homer and Bart variants that Lego could fall-back on. As for a third set, Springfield Elementary seems like a logical resting point, though some sacrifices would have to be made to keep it in scope with both the house and Kwik-E-Mart in terms of the amount of bricks. Other locations that could be featured are The Android’s Dungeon and Krusty Burger. Series one sold well, and as far as I know series two has continued that trend so a third seems likely. Hopefully Lego can come up with a worthwhile successor to the Kwik-E-Mart, but even if they don’t, there’s a good chance I’ll buy it anyways

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March 28, 2015

WrestleMania XXXI Preview/Predictions

By Joe

WM31PosterIt comes every year along with the spring. The “Showcase of the Immortals,” the grand-daddy of them all:  WrestleMania. Ever since WWE Chairman Vince McMahon concocted the idea for a wrestling (ahem, sports entertainment) show with the same prestige as the NFL’s Superbowl it’s been an annual tradition. The event has had its ups and downs over the past 30 years. WrestleMania III famously set an indoor attendance record in Detroit with Hulk Hogan taking on Andre the Giant in the main event, and yet, the wildly popular Attitude Era, was kicked off with Stone Cold Steven Austin defeating Shawn Michaels for the WWF Championship in front of a modest crowd of 19,000. The massive stadium shows have really only come back in the last ten years, and along with it, WrestleMania’s prestige. WrestleMania XXX was the best of the WWE Pay-Per View events in 2014, and that’s how it should be.

WrestleMania XXXI is arriving with a little less pomp than it has the last couple of years. The card for WrestleMania XXVII was not spectacular, but The Rock was hosting and had some real heat with John Cena. The following year, the two locked horns in the main event of WrestleMania XXVIII and would do so again at WrestleMania XXIX. Last year, Daniel Bryan was red-hot as he road into the Superdome for WrestleMania XXX, though arguably the event will forever be associated with The Undertaker and his loss to Brock Lesnar, his first loss at WrestleMania in 22 appearances. This year, the main event is champion Brock Lesnar taking on the up and comer Roman Reigns. The WWE fanbase is not as behind Reigns as the company probably expected they would be, with fan favorites like Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, and Dean Ambrose trapped in the undercard. Despite that though, the card has come together pretty well and there’s a chance for some classic WrestleMania moments. There’s also the chance the whole thing could blow up in WWE’s face. This is an important show for WWE as the company needs to keeping adding subscribers to its WWE Network. There’s a strong chance a lot of people jumped on board for WrestleMania season and plan to cancel after March (last year, a six month commitment was required to keep this very thing from happening but that restriction has since been removed) and a good showing could keep people around a little longer. I am cautiously optimistic about WrestleMania XXXI so let’s get onto the card and how I see things unfolding (note: I avoid online “dirt sheets” so I’m insulated from what is rumored to happen).

The Andre the Giant Battle Royal – Pre-show Match

NXT star Hideo Itami will make his WrestleMania debut during the Andre the Giant Battle Royal.

NXT star Hideo Itami will make his WrestleMania debut during the Andre the Giant Battle Royal.

Last year, the WWE debuted the Andre the Giant Battle Royal and the win went to Cesaro, who stole the spotlight by slamming The Big Show over the top rope. This year, the match has been moved to the pre-show and given that Cesaro quickly found himself buried on the undercard following his victory there’s less enthusiasm for the match this year. The biggest storyline going into the event is the growing rift between The Miz and his personal assistant, Damien Mizdow. There’s also a minor feud between Kane and Big Show while Ryback has been showcased as a potential winner on Raw and Smackdown. Sheamus has had numerous teasers air over the past month advertising his imminent return to the main roster and it’s possible he’ll be a surprise entrant. NXT star Hideo Itami won a tournament on Thursday that puts him in the match as well.

Prediction: Mizdow turns on The Miz and eliminates him, but he eventually is eliminated by Ryback who picks up the win. Itami gets a chance to shine while Curtis “Axelmania” Axel gets taken out before he enters the ring.

Tag-Team Championship Match: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (C) vs The Usos vs Los Matadores vs The New Day

Cesaro and Kidd have been one of the few bright spots in a lackluster tag division.

Cesaro and Kidd have been one of the few bright spots in a lackluster tag division.

The tag-team division has been rather bland for the past year+ as The Usos dominated 2014 with little competition to play off of. Some of that has been poor writing and booking as there’s talent in the division, but with so much time devoted to long-winded promos on Raw focused on the main event talent, a lot of the undercard has suffered. Even though 2014 didn’t go well for Cesaro in singles competition, he and Kidd have made for a pretty entertaining tag-team and they have good chemistry in the ring. The New Day has been a flop, Los Matadors a side-show, with The Usos seemingly representing the only threat. There’s been no flow to the tag-team division all year, so given that, the match has a bit of a chaotic vibe. This match could be a nice opener for the show if given enough time (and really, that shouldn’t be an issue considering the show is booked to be four hours long), but it also could come across like a typical Raw match. If a match is to be squeezed for time, it will be this one.

Prediction: WWE could put the belts on The New Day in an attempt to jump-start a program that the promotion spent a lot of time hyping. The safe bet, and most likely outcome, is for Tyson Kidd and Cesaro to retain.

AJ Lee and Paige vs The Bella Twins

Apparently WWE couldn’t settle on an opponent for Divas Champion Nikki Bella so we’re getting a tag-team match pairing her with her sister Brie against former champs Paige and AJ. Paige and AJ spent much of 2014 feuding with each other and they enter this match on rocky footing. Much of the build-up has been focused on those two at the expense of their opponents as well as on the Give Divas a Chance social media movement. Because of that movement, it seems likely these women will be given a solid amount of time and a legitimate chance at having a good match, as opposed to being a five-minute after-thought. I’d rather see a traditional one on one bout where two ladies are given the chance to steal the show, but we may have to wait until WrestleMania XXXII when (hopefully) NXT stars Charlotte and Sasha Banks are on the main roster.

Prediction: I’d actually love it if the nefarious Bellas took-out AJ before the match and one of those aforementioned NXT ladies took her place. That’s no slight on AJ, she’s just been a part of WrestleMania’s past, unlike Paige. The NXT women, and their incredible matches throughout last year, are the driving force behind the whole Give Divas a Chance thing and it would be great to see one of them be showcased at the event. Absent that though, I’m predicting Paige and AJ’s inability to cooperate leads to defeat, setting up a feud going forward while Nikki is free to focus on Charlotte, who I expect to debut on Monday’s Raw.

Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match: Bad News Barrett (C) vs Daniel Bryan vs Dolph Ziggler vs R-Truth vs Dean Ambrose vs Stardust vs Luke Harper

The mega-popular Daniel Bryan will be looking to win his first Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania XXXI.

The mega-popular Daniel Bryan will be looking to win his first Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania XXXI.

Barrett defeated Ambrose at Fastlane, the PPV event that preceded WrestleMania, and following the conclusion of that match, Ambrose made off with Barrett’s belt. Since then the belt has traded hands amongst the competitors in this bout despite no one actually winning the belt from Barrett. It was funny at times to watch, silly as well, but it’s hard to argue with this outcome. All of the guys in this match, even the often forgotten R-Truth, are extremely talented and if one match is likely to steal the show it’s clearly this one. Toss in the chaotic nature of a ladder match and this easily becomes one to get excited about. Some fans are ticked that a guy like Daniel Bryan is suddenly battling for a lesser title than the WWE Heavy Championship, but with Brock Lesnar being a part-time champ it makes sense to elevate the prestige of the mid-card belts.

Prediction: And that’s just what WWE wants. Bryan wins and becomes Smackdown’s fighting champion and a feud with Ziggler seems imminent. Those two could bring the house down if allowed and perhaps finally the Intercontinental Championship will seem like an important title, which it really hasn’t been for years.

Randy Orton vs Seth Rollins

This one is a classic grudge match between two personalities who hate each other. Orton was off of television for months to sell an injury at the hands of Rollins. Following a return at Fastlane, Orton played coy with Rollins before finally snapping a couple of weeks ago. Orton is a good worker, not a great one, but he’s fully capable of having a great match when paired with a complementary talent. Rollins definitely qualifies as he’s become one of the most electric competitors in the business. Strangely though, he’s still largely untested on the big stage when it comes to singles competition, with his best work often taking place in six-man or triple threat settings. Since the stakes in this match are so low, it’s also possible this match gets is a victim of time constraints if any of the earlier matches go on longer than expected.

Prediction: This one is hard to predict. Orton could use a big win, but Rollins could too. The wildcard is Rollins’ Money in the Bank contract which gives him a title match whenever he chooses to exercise it, meaning he could potentially end the night as WWE Heavyweight Champion. If that were to happen, then I could see Orton winning kind of like Owen Hart beat his brother Brett to open WrestleMania X, only for Brett to go on and defeat Yokozuna for the WWF Championship in the main event. I think the likelihood of Rollins ending the night as champ is low, so I expect him to go over Orton here.

United States Championship Match: Rusev (C) vs John Cena

For the past year, Rusev has been the unstoppable monster heel of WWE. No one has pinned him or made him submit yet, and his anti-US rhetoric makes him kind of a throwback heel. He’s fought mostly lesser stars, until last month when he took on, and defeated, John Cena. Cena has shown off a mean-streak since in getting Rusev to agree to a rematch at WrestleMania. Oddsmakers think this one will go Cena’s way, but I’m not sure.

Prediction: It seems hard to fathom that John Cena could lose twice in a row to Rusev. Last year, he was in a similar situation as he took on an up and coming monster heel in Bray Wyatt. Cena won that encounter, but it just doesn’t make sense to me for him to beat Rusev. Cena does not gain anything by beating Rusev, I’d prefer to see WWE save Rusev’s first loss for a less-established guy who can gain instant credibility. Someone like Adrian Neville, who’s expected to be promoted from NXT, would make sense. Cena does not. I expect Rusev to win, possibly by DQ so Cena can save some face.

Bray Wyatt vs The Undertaker

The last time wrestling fans saw The Undertaker it was following one of the most shocking moments in wrestling history.

The last time wrestling fans saw The Undertaker it was following one of the most shocking moments in wrestling history.

The Undertaker losing at WrestleMania XXX was one of the most shocking moments in WWE history. At the time, I wasn’t sure it was the right move to have Undertaker lose to an already established guy like Brock Lesnar, but credit WWE for handling Lesnar well since then. Undertaker, meanwhile, has not appeared on WWE television since then even during the build-up to this match with Wyatt. Last year’s match with Lesnar was not a good one, due in part to Undertaker suffering a severe concussion during the match, but also due to Undertaker being 49 years old. It remains to be seen what he has left in the tank, even with a year off. And as much as I like Wyatt, I’m not sure he’s the kind of talent that can carry a hobbled Undertaker through a match. Expect a lot of posturing in this one.

Prediction: WrestleMania XXXII will be held in Dallas, Texas. Even though Taker has been famously billed as being from Death Valley, it’s fairly common knowledge that he’s actually from Texas. Therefore, I expect Undertaker to compete next year in what may very well be his retirement match. As such, Undertaker losing here and heading into next year 21-2 seems unlikely. I expect either an Undertaker win or a non-finish. If Wyatt and Taker deliver a great match, it’s possible next year we’ll get a rematch where Wyatt gets the win. Or it’s possible that Undertaker competes against another Texan, like a returning Stone Cold, or we could get The Dream Match which pits Undertaker against one of the guys competing in the next match…

Triple H vs Sting

After years of waiting for the right moment, Sting will make his in-ring debut for WWE against Triple H at WrestleMania XXXI.

After years of waiting for the right moment, Sting will make his in-ring debut for WWE against Triple H at WrestleMania XXXI.

After flirting with WWE for years, Sting finally appeared in a WWE ring this past November at Survivor Series, foiling the plans of Triple H’s Authority stable in the main event. Since then he has appeared sporadically, but the last month has been a busy one for the Stinger as he and Triple H have built up this match. Unfortunately, the wait for Sting to appear in a WWE ring has been so long that he’s now past the age of 50. These two men, combined, are over 100 years old and the quality of this match is very much in question. Hopefully, the prestige of the match-up is enough for them to feed off of because it would be a shame if Sting’s first, possibly only, WWE match was a poor one. Triple H, despite being a part-timer himself, has continued to look good whenever he does lace up his boots. He’s in great shape, and his ability to carry Sting through a match is likely the main reason why he’s in this position as opposed to The Undertaker.

Prediction: It seems almost pointless for Sting to finally appear at WrestleMania only to go down in defeat. Even though the opposite momentum rule, where wrestling often follows a predictable booking pattern of having the guy who looks strongest leading up to a big match lose, strongly favors Triple H, I still envision a Sting victory. Because these guys are as old as they are, it’s possible there will be a lot of interference in this one to slow things down. In the end though, Triple H taps to the Scorpion Deathlock. And if all goes well, maybe we see Sting next year against Undertaker.

WWE Heavyweight Championship Match: Brock Lesnar (C) vs Roman Reigns

Uncertainty clouds the main event of WrestleMania XXXI, which is how it should be.

Uncertainty clouds the main event of WrestleMania XXXI, which is how it should be.

Much to WWE’s surprise, Roman Reigns’ victory in the Royal Rumble was greeted with boos. Even a rare appearance by The Rock couldn’t change things. Since, WWE has tried to repair Reigns’ image with the fanbase, pitting him against Daniel Bryan in the main event at Fastlane and by limiting his mic work. Reigns has done well in this role and he is an up and coming talent. Maybe the spot will prove too big for him, but he and Lesnar make for a pretty solid pairing. The issue there is that “solid” isn’t what you want for a WrestleMania main event. Lesnar has been the absentee champion. His part-time contract with WWE means he’s been booked as an attraction. It was a risk putting the title on him, but he’s been so good in his role that it’s hard to argue with the results. The belt has real prestige, and whoever knocks off Lesnar is going to get a big boost in credibility from such a feat. I think these two are going to have a very good match, probably not the match of the evening, but a damn good bout.

Prediction: Up until this past week, Lesnar’s status with the company was very much in question. His contract was going to expire after WrestleMania, making his defeat at WrestleMania XXXI seem almost guaranteed (which is one reason why so many fans were upset when Reigns won the Royal Rumble as the perception was whoever won that match would be the next WWE Champion) as he teased a return to UFC. Speculation about Lesnar’s future ended though when he announced on ESPN that he had resigned with WWE and was closing the door on his MMA career. Now, it seems, the tide has turned completely and many now expect Lesnar to retain at WrestleMania. There remains the possibility that WWE will turn those jeers aimed at Reigns into a full-fledged heel run having Lesnar’s manager, Paul Heyman, turn on him helping Reigns claim victory.  I don’t think that will happen, but it is a possibility. WWE has spent so much time building up Lesnar this past year that it just doesn’t feel like the right time to have him go down in defeat. Lesnar retains at WrestleMania.

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February 7, 2015

Revisiting The Simpsons as Lego

By Joe

Lego-The-Simpsons-episodeLast July, I made a post about 2014’s newest addition to the Lego family:  The Simpsons. Two of the world’s most popular brands teamed-up not just for a Lego-themed episode of the iconic television show, but also to bring several of the show’s many characters to life as little three inch plastic toys. The big addition was also the release of The Simpsons’ house in Lego form which covered the bulk of my post.

Well now it’s 2015, and if this Lego fan-blog can be believed, we’ve got a new round of Simpsons Lego merchandise to look forward to in the spring. And considering the snow is piled high outside my home right now, spring can’t come soon enough. I ended that post from last summer wondering about what was to come as it pertained to Lego and The Simpsons. There was the possibility that The Simpsons would be one and done, and had they been, it wouldn’t have been a slight. An entire wave of mini figures was devoted to the brand and The Simpsons house is positively massive by Lego standards. It’s questionable how well a brand that is mostly aimed at older individuals would sell as a toy, especially considering that the show is no longer as popular as it used to be. Truth be told, I have no idea if kids today watch The Simpsons as I did when I was young enough to be interested in Lego as a plaything. Still, I hoped we would see more from Lego concerning The Simpsons because there is so much left untouched as it stands now, and my Simpsons’ house could use some company.

Maggie doesn't have many looks on the show, but this is her most popular aside from her traditional blue onesie.

Maggie doesn’t have many looks on the show, but this is her most popular aside from her traditional blue onesie.

Here’s how 2015 is currently looking: We’ve got another wave of mini-figures on the way and at least one more building set. The lineup for mini-figure wave two is quite appropriate given what came out last year and what would be expected of a second wave. First off, there’s a new version for each member of The Simpsons family. Collectors and fans of the show are probably disappointed by that as we already have two versions for each as it is, but anyone who has ever followed a toyline as a kid or adult knows this is par for the course. Just like every wave of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures needs another version of each turtle, expect future waves of Simpsons figures to contain Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, and Maggie. I was kind of hoping maybe Lego would just include another Homer and Bart, given that they’re the two most popular, but oh well. At least we’re getting Bart as Bartman, a pretty popular version of the character, and while we don’t know what Lisa and Maggie will look like, both are being bundled with one of the family pets, Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball II, who really should have been included with the house last year. Homer and Marge are both in their “Sunday best” so I take that to mean Homer’s blue suit and Marge’s long, green dress that the duo often wear to church. It wouldn’t surprise me if Lisa and Maggie are similarly dressed, though I’m kind of hoping we get Maggie in her starfish-like snow suit.

The remaining supporting characters rumored to be a part of wave two are a mix of popular characters and those that pair well with other figures. Martin naturally fits in with Bart, Milhouse and the other kids while Smithers can finally be placed alongside Mr. Burns. Groundskeeper Willie and Comic Book Guy are fan favorites and it’s nice to see the retired Edna Krabappel included as well. Some notable omissions though are still present. It’s nice to have Edna, but it would be better if we had a Principal Skinner to pair her with. Milhouse as Fall Out Boy is likely included to pair with Bartman, even though it doesn’t make much sense from the perspective of the show and it just makes me want a Radioactive Man (Rainier Wolfcastle) as well. Dr. Hibbert and Professor Frink have been around awhile, so I’m not disappointed to see them included but I personally would prefer Lenny and Carl. There are images of a head mold for the infamous criminal Snake floating around the internet and he is noticeably absent from the list for wave two. My guess is he is being bundled with the Kwik-E-Mart set which will probably also contain another version of Apu, or better yet, Sanjay or Manjula. I’m curious if they’ll sneak another version of one of the Simpsons into the set as well, maybe a version of Homer as a Kwik-E-Mart clerk.

Which brings me to the second part of this post: what I want going forward! We know we’re getting a Kwik-E-Mart which is both logical and welcomed, but we don’t have confirmation for anything else. So here’s a small list of ways Lego could bring Springfield to life (as lifeless plastic):

That's a pretty extreme reaction to Lego's choice to bypass you, Moe.

That’s a pretty extreme reaction to Lego’s choice to bypass you, Moe.

1. Moe’s Tavern: Let’s get this one out of the way upfront. I want it. You want it. Anyone who has any interest in Lego versions of Springfield wants it, but isn’t going to get it. Lego has a pretty strict policy against alcohol and certain forms of violence, and a Lego version of Springfield’s most famous dive is probably out of the question. I’m hopeful that Lego could compromise and give us mini-figures of Moe and his number one patron, Barney, even if they’re in less memorable versions. Moe could be in his casual attire he sometimes wears on the show while Barney could be depicted as either the Plow King or as he was when he got sober. If Lego really wanted to give us Moe’s Tavern while saving face they could always do Moe’s Family Restaurant, which is just Moe’s Tavern from when he decided to try to be more like TGI Friday’s. It’s better than no Moe’s at all!

2. The Android’s Dungeon:  I mentioned this one last year, mostly because it just makes so much sense given the market Lego is courting with The Simpsons. The Android’s Dungeon is the infamous comic book shop run by Jeff, aka: Comic Book Guy. It played a prominent role in the Lego episode of the show and would be a natural set to include a Radioactive Man to pair with Fall Out Boy. Lego could also bundle it with Homer as Angry Dad when he came to resemble the Incredible Hulk or versions of Bart and Lisa from the Halloween special where they became superheroes. I’m actually surprised this set hasn’t already been announced.

These are definitely going to be on display in my house come Christmas time. If I can wait that long.

These are definitely going to be on display in my house come Christmas time. If I can wait that long.

3. Springfield Elementary:  When Department 56, a company known for crafting ceramic Christmas Villages, partnered with The Simpsons last year to do a series of Simpsons inspired ceramics it selected The Simpsons house, the Kwik-E-Mart, and Springfield Elementary to focus on. Lego should do the same. The school would probably end up out of scale when placed beside 742 Evergreen Terrace, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. As long as it includes a classroom (complete with chalkboard gag), cafeteria, and Principal’s office I’ll be happy. It would pair extremely well with the children of Springfield already released as well as Groundskeeper Willie and Edna. Skinner could also be included along with Lunch Lady Doris and Superintendent Chalmers. Willie’s tractor and shed could be a part of the package and Lego could even include some of the students who have yet to be released. There could be a school bus with Otto. There are so many possibilities! Like the already released home for The Simpsons, this would be an expensive set but one I’d be willing to invest in.

4. Krusty Burger:  We already have a Krusty, so why not the fast food restaurant that bares his image? Krusty Burger would be an attractive piece and would fit in with the Kwik-E-Mart as a smallish-scaled release. It could include another version of Krusty, maybe Sideshow Mel, as well as Mr. Teeny and everyone’s favorite local teenager, Jeremy, the squeaky-voiced teen! If we need to toss-in another member of The Simpsons family, how about an obese Homer?

It sells itself.

It sells itself.

5. Vehicle sets:  New buildings are nice, and probably preferred, but if Lego wanted to do cheaper sets they could always turn to vehicles. One fans would be sure to eat up is Homer as Mr. Plow, one of the show’s most famous episodes. Naturally, that would pair well with Barney’s Plow King. A police cruiser for Wiggum that includes Eddie and Lou seems plausible. The Homer, with Herb Powell, would certainly be an interesting vehicle to behold. Any of Burns’ vehicles or the family’s station wagon would also make sense. If it can’t be included with Springfield Elementary, then Otto’s bus would also be a good one and would be another way to introduce more children of Springfield. Sadly, we probably would never get a Duff Blimp given the previously mentioned alcohol policy, but a man can dream!

There are countless other sets that would be welcomed but didn’t crack my top five. Ned’s house would make sense given it sits right next to The Simpsons’ and we’ve seen the interior of it many times on the the show. Something incorporating the Nuclear Power Plant would make sense, even if it’s just Homer’s control deck or Burns’ office. Burns’ mansion would also be interesting, complete with hounds, and a version of Lard Lad Donuts would fit in nicely with the other smaller builders I proposed. It’s probably unlikely that Lego supports The Simpsons line long enough for even half of these to get produced, but as long as it continues to sell well, Lego will likely keep putting out stuff. If you liked last year’s offerings and if the Kwik-E-Mart turns out well, let Lego know with your dollar that you want to see more of the many locations around Springfield!

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January 18, 2015

The WWE Network: The Review

By Joe

WWE-NetworkIt has been nearly a year since WWE launched its streaming, on-demand network and even longer since the company originally announced it. First conceived as a standard television channel, the WWE Network would go missing for the duration of 2012 and 2013 despite teases prior to that of a nearing launch. When it finally did make it to consumers it was as the on-demand network present today. Consumers are able to access the network, for a monthly fee, through various external devices such as gaming consoles, Roku, and smart TVs much like other on-demand networks such as Netflix and Hulu. Priced at $9.99 per month, the cost is right around the same as other similar networks but with the obvious difference being this one appeals solely to fans of professional wrestling. Are there enough fans of professional wrestling, and specifically WWE, to sustain a pay-per-month service?

That question has largely gone on unanswered since the Network’s launch in February 2014. I posted back then about my initial impressions and have kept my subscription active ever since, despite some early problems and a lack of original content. I am happy to say that the WWE Network has improved immensely in less than a year, but subscription numbers are reportedly still not where the company needs them to be in order to insure the long-term viability of the WWE Network.

The overall strategy of the WWE Network seems to be something along the lines of giving wrestling fans everything they could possibly want at a low monthly price. The WWE Network is loaded with content ranging from old editions of forgotten television shows such as Saturday Night Main Event to original documentaries of wrestling’s biggest stars. Each month, the WWE airs a pay-per-view event that is free to subscribers of the Network and there’s also new wrestling shows such as Superstars, Main Event, and NXT; WWE’s developmental show. Current episodes of WWE’s main cable programs, Raw and Smackdown, do not air live on the Network but many older editions are present. Joining them are old episodes of WCW Nitro and ECW Hardcore Television. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s also every single pay-per-view ever aired by the big three, along with lots of archival cards from the 70’s and 80’s before the wrestling television boom. Since there’s so much content to cover, I decided I would list out and elaborate on the biggest pros and cons of the service to give my own personal take on the WWE Network.

NXT

The NXT events have been light-years ahead of the WWE events.

The NXT events have been light-years ahead of the WWE events.

NXT used to air on cable but ever since the launch of the WWE Network it has become a network exclusive. When it was on television I never checked it out, but strong word-of-mouth and the ability to watch the programs whenever I want turned me on to the product and I couldn’t be more impressed with what I’ve seen. NXT is recorded in a small arena at Full Sail University in Florida. There’s a weekly, hour-long show as well as quarterly “event” shows that are structured like a typical WWE pay-per-view event. What makes NXT so special is its incredibly talented, focused, roster. The best workers in WWE right now are at NXT. Grapplers like Adrian Neville, Sami Zayn, and Charlotte are supremely gifted, dedicated, in-ring workers who are honing their craft right in front of our eyes. The women’s division is so strong it’s stunning given the quality of the “Divas” matches that take place on Raw. And even though each show is only an hour long, there’s probably still more time devoted to actual wrestling than what takes place on Raw, where three-minute matches are common-place and long-winded Authority-led promos often dominate the show. NXT is simply a breath of fresh air and each one of the “pay-per-views” it’s put on have been better than every WWE pay-per-view that aired in 2014. The only bad thing I can say about NXT is that it makes the main roster look like crap making it even harder to tune into Raw on a weekly basis.

Beyond the Ring

Beyond the Ring is the section of the WWE Network devoted to biographical programs often focused on one wrestler. These should be familiar to WWE fans who have ever purchased a DVD set on one of their favorite wrestlers as these biographies are first released through that medium. Buying every DVD put of by WWE would be both costly and cumbersome, so it’s pretty cool to have them all here on the Network. There’s also wrestlers and personalities I was interested in learning more about, but I wasn’t quite willing to throw down cash on a set. There’s no set amount of time in place between release and when a biography will show up on the Network, but there’s already a healthy mix of new releases (the newest being the Paul Heyman feature which first hit retail shelves last summer) and older ones. Some of the wrestlers featured thus far have been Stone Cold, Rock, John Cena, Roddy Piper, Brett Hart, the Road Warriors, and many more. There’s also some “countdown” style features (not to be confused with the Network show called Countdown) that look at the best wrestlers of the 2000’s or top finishing moves. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed each of the features I’ve watched (the only one I really didn’t care for was Brock Lesnar’s) and often I learned something I didn’t know before.

The Monday Night War

Consisting of twenty episodes, The Monday Night War has easily been the best original program put out by the WWE.

Consisting of twenty episodes, The Monday Night War has easily been the best original program put out by the WWE.

The Monday Night War is WWE’s anthology series focusing on the mid to late 90’s and the ratings battle that took place between WWF Raw is War and WCW Monday Nitro. Consisting of twenty one hour episodes, the series looked at the start of both shows, the key moments and players within the rivalry, and ultimately its conclusion. When the WWE Network was first unveiled, this show was one of the few mentioned and promoted and was a factor in my signing up. It didn’t arrive until the fall, but it has mostly proved worth the wait. Considering it’s rather tight focus, the show did repeat itself at times but as someone who experienced the phenomenon that was the Monday Night War in the 90’s I found it really entertaining to go back and re-examine it. One could potentially criticize the program for painting too flattering a picture of the WWE in comparison to WCW, but considering WCW really only competed for so long because of the nWo and Ted Turner’s checkbook, the show is probably fair. Narrated by Keith David, the presentation of the program is handled well despite having to rely on television footage from before the HD era. All of the major players one would expect receive their own featured episode including Bischoff, Austin, the nWo, Degeneration X, Rock, Mick Foley, and more. It’s just a shame the show had to end.

The Other Original Programs

NXT, the documentaries in the Beyond the Ring section, and The Monday Night War are all strong parts of the WWE Network. Unfortunately, the other original programming is somewhat lacking. The latest, and likely intended as a replacement for The Monday Night War, is WWE Rivalries which focuses on one historic rivalry in a documentary style program. The first episode focused on Austin and Vince McMahon and was extended to two-parts, each one being an hour. After already focusing on the rivalry in The Monday Night War, this one felt too familiar. Other rivalries, such as Edge and Christian vs The Hardys, just didn’t feel all that compelling. The show isn’t bad, but it needs to focus more on rivalries not already covered extensively elsewhere, which may be hard to pull off. “Reality” shows, like Total Divas and Legend’s House, are not my thing and have never been viewed by me. Countdown is an okay time-waster if you want to see current wrestlers list their favorite trash talkers, high-flyers, and so on. Legends of Wrestlemania is basically a one-hour show where a Wrestlemania match is highlighted and then shown. It’s not a bad way to pass the time, but considering every Wrestlemania is already included on the WWE Network it hardly feels necessary. The two other WWE roster programs, Main Event and Superstars, are just as bland as they were on cable. Nothing ever happens on these shows, but if you’re a big David Otunga fan, it’s probably the only place where you’ll see him compete.

The Pay-Per-Views and Current Television Product

Vince McMahon needs to make some changes if he wants to regain his reputation as a visionary in the world of professional wrestling, or sports entertainment, as he likes to call it.

Vince McMahon needs to make some changes if he wants to regain his reputation as a visionary in the world of professional wrestling, or sports entertainment, as he likes to call it.

Really, the WWE Network is actually pretty awesome. It has almost everything from wrestling’s past that a fan could possibly want as well as some pretty entertaining new shows to go along with it. And at ten bucks a month, with the original six-month required commitment now abolished, it’s pretty easy to talk yourself into subscribing, especially considering that the monthly pay-per-views are included. Unfortunately, it’s those events that are lacking the most, and in general, the current state of WWE programming. WWE Raw is a pretty bad show at this point. The storylines are stale, the main event talent too predictable, and the tone is just off. Which is frustrating, because the current roster, from an in-ring perspective, is quite possibly the most talented ever assembled by the WWE. It compares rather favorably to those early 90’s rosters that featured major up-and-comers like Shawn Michaels, Brett Hart, The Undertaker, and so many more. I love watching Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Cesaro, and Bray Wyatt work a match, it’s just that they aren’t always allowed to work a compelling one. The Divas division and tag team division are bad, and there’s little importance placed on the mid-card belts. This has lead to pay-per-view cards that are just plain boring, and WWE’s reliance on The Authority angle, where a heel personality (in this case, Triple H and his wife Stephanie) are in control and make life miserable in an illogical way for the “good guys”, is just plain boring. Everything has a “been there, done that” feel to it, and I often can’t stomach more than a few minutes of Raw before I inevitably switch-over to whatever Simpsons marathon is airing on FXX. The only pay-per-view event from 2014 I truly enjoyed was Wrestlemania XXX. If I had spent the fifty bucks or whatever the cable rate is for any of the other pay-per-view events in 2014 I would have been furious.

The WWE is at an odd place right now with its network. The company is coming up on one of its biggest events of the year, The Royal Rumble, and also planning on airing its annual Hall of Fame induction ceremony exclusively on the WWE Network. And there’s also Wrestlemania XXXI to think about in March. Right now, there’s enough content on the WWE Network that focuses on the past to keep me entertained, but I wonder how willing I’ll be to keep it once that content drys up. The Network does such a good job of high-lighting the glory days, specifically the Attitude Era, that it really harms the current PG Era by shining a light on just how bad it’s become. The Monday Night Wars program was very thorough in pointing out how silly and cartoony the WWF was in the mid-nineties before turning things around with a bold, new approach. Only the most ardent supporters of Vince McMahon would be unable to draw parallels between the WWF of the mid-nineties and the WWE of today. Sadly, McMahon had a sit-down with Stone Cold Steve Austin as part of a WWE Network exclusive in which he seemed to suggest that everything was great, and no one was worthy of a “promotion” to main event status(even singling out current superstar Cesaro, as being someone he was particularly down on despite most fans raving about him), demonstrating just how out of touch he is with the WWE audience. So long as he’s running the show, it’s hard to imagine things getting better.

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