Category Archives: Television

Dec. 5 – A Flintstone Christmas

Original air date December 7, 1977

It’s the fifth of December so that means we are returning to one of the 25 Greatest Christmas Specials (as decided by me because it’s my blog) to take a deeper look than what was done some 8 years ago. When I re-evaluated my Top 25, one of the biggest fallers was A Flintstone Christmas. It dropped from number 9 all the way down to 25! I attribute that drop to some of the shine waring off. When I did that countdown in 2015, I had probably only had the DVD for A Flintstone Christmas a short while. Prior to that, it was a thing I felt like I had to get lucky to catch on TV as a kid. It was the sort of special I only saw once a year, if that, so it never had a chance to ware out its welcome. Now that I own it, I’ve easily more than doubled my viewings over the years from when I was a kid, and while I still enjoy it, I do see more of the flaws. And at approximately 48 minutes, it gets a bit long. Had I known I was going to revisit all of these specials in the future in more detail, maybe I would have dropped it all together? Doing these write-ups for a broadcast hour-long special is pretty tiresome. I could have saved myself a whole lot of time if I just kept Morel Orel, but that would also be cheating! I think this one still belongs, even if just barely, so lets get to it.

A Flintstone Christmas was released in 1977 by Hanna-Barbera as one of the first post The Flintstones television specials. For all of the comparisons that we used to see between The Flintstones and The Simpsons, The Flintstones never had nearly the kind of run The Simpsons is still having. That’s true of a lot of shows, but I can still recall when passing The Flintstones was an important milestone for The Simpsons so it’s always a bit surprising to be reminded that The Flintstones aired from 1960 to 1966. This special came out more than ten years after the show had ceased production. It obviously aired seemingly endlessly in re-runs and there were spin-offs, but the show proper had a somewhat short existence. This special was apparently pretty successful though and the franchise gained new life via a series of specials in the early 80s. These cave people refused to die, though now they’re mostly cereal and vitamin pitchmen.

During the show’s run, there was the episode “Christmas Flintstone.” We’ve already covered that one extensively here, but to summarize, Fred ends up taking on the role of Santa Claus to basically save Christmas. For A Flintstone Christmas, the same plot is recycled and expanded upon with some differences. Perhaps most notably, Barney is now along for the ride. And since this was a television special, the running time is doubled and we get some songs tossed in. Perhaps most notably these days, is the circumstances for Fred taking on the Santa role have been altered. In “Christmas Flintstone,” Santa has a cold and has his elves track down the guy he thinks is best at playing him which turns out to be Fred. In this special, Santa falls off of Fred’s roof and gets hurt so he needs Fred to take over. It’s a plot that’s pretty damn close to a certain movie starring Tim Allen. Of course, in The Santa Clause old Saint Nick actually kicks the bucket. That movie was more interested in showing how some jerk can basically turn into Santa Claus and assume that identity permanently. A Flintstone Christmas just wants to put Fred in a sled.

The Flintstones are probably a safer bet than this drugged-out dog and mouse.

Something I did not talk about when first covering A Flintstone Christmas was its relation to another Hanna-Barbera Christmas special: A Christmas Story. That special about a mouse and a dog trying to deliver a letter to Santa doesn’t share any plot details with this one. It doesn’t even feature any popular characters. The only thing it does share with this special is the music. Multiple songs from the 1972 special are recycled and repurposed for this one. It’s pretty odd, and I can’t find any account for why that took place, but I have some thoughts. A Christmas Story, not featuring any recognizable Hanna-Barbera characters, may have been viewed as a dud. It’s a lot easier to market Fred and Scooby-Doo than it is Goober and Gumdrop. That special was also written by Ken Spears and Jack Ruby, the former top duo at Hanna-Barbera who would leave to form Ruby-Spears animation. That duo is credited with creating Scooby-Doo and they left Hanna-Barbera in 1977. Ruby-Spears was created to compete directly with Hanna-Barbera, so maybe burying their Christmas special and using some of the assets to create this new one was a shot at them? Considering the timing, that seems unlikely, but it is more juicy to think of this one as born out of a grudge between the aging duo of Hanna and Barbera waging war with their former proteges.

I suppose it’s time we just dive into this one since this is going to be a rather lengthy write-up. For A Flintstone Christmas, most of the case of The Flintstones was able to return. One person who was not was Alan Reed, the original voice of Fred Flintstone. He passed away in 1977 opening the door for Henry Corden to assume the role. This was not Corden’s first time voicing Fred, but it was probably the most exposure his Fred voice had received as previously he was doing things like records and wrap-arounds on package shows as the character. He had also already been Fred’s singing voice in The Man Called Flintstone as singing was something Reed either couldn’t do or disliked doing. As for the rest of the cast, both Mel Blanc and Jean Vander Pyl were back as Barney and Wilma. Gay Hartwig voices Betty Rubble and she had been doing the character since 1970, though she had never voiced Betty on the actual series. Also returning is John Stephenson as Mr. Slate and Hal Smith as Santa Claus. Smith was basically the Hanna-Barbera Santa. Making her debut as Bamm-Bamm Rubble, is Lucille Bliss, a prolific voice actor who, to my surprise, didn’t voice Bamm-Bamm much. He and Pebbles (voiced by Vander Pyl) are basically kids in this one and I don’t think there is a ton of Flintstones productions where they are at this age so that might explain things.

Betty and Bamm-Bamm are just along for the ride, I guess.

The special begins with a snowy setting. Dinosaurs are peering around and some serene music fills the air. The song is “Sounds of Christmas Day,” our first piece of recycled music from A Christmas Story. After we’re shown the title, a sleigh comes into frame. It’s being driven by Wilma and she’s joined by her daughter Pebbles, friend Betty, and her son Bamm-Bamm. The sleigh is being pulled by a blue mastodon and they’ve just picked out their tree for Christmas. Curiously, only Wilma and Pebbles have selected a tree and it would seem the Rubbles are just along for the ride. They’re rather content with their selection though as they head towards Bedrock.

I’m a little jealous of Fred and Barney’s relationship. I wouldn’t mind having a buddy to do my Christmas shopping with.

In the snowy town below, Fred and Barney are roaming the streets. They’re dressed as they always are, but they’ve added a scarf to fight the cold. They still have not invented shoes, apparently, so they’re just walking through the snow in bare feet. Barney remarks how another Christmas is upon them which allows the two to reminisce a bit as they look at toys through a shop window. Already, the special has committed a sin against The Flintstones brand by depicting a toy train that’s just moving on its own without any explanation for how it could be powered. I’ll overlook the lighting in the street, but come on, at least have it being pulled by a mouse or something!

A lot of people get in on the Santa act this time of year, but I can’t say I’ve ever seen this many in one spot.

As the two walk through town, Barney keeps casually tossing coins into the collection buckets manned by bell-ringing Santas all about town. Fred makes a crack about Barney going Bro-bro-broke this holiday season if he keeps this up, but Barney confesses he has a weakness for Santa. And since there are so many, he has to keep donating just in case one of them happens to be the real Santa! This leads us into our first song break of the special, “Which One is the Real Santa Claus?” This is another of the recycled songs from A Christmas Story and it’s basically the same, only now Fred and Barney get to interject here and there as they look over these Santas. The premise of the song is just to show us a bunch of different people playing Santa, and Fred and Barney get to point out the inaccuracies like the one with his whiskers tied to his head or the one with a belly full of straw. The recording sounds like its exactly the same from A Christmas Story, and even Fred and Barney’s comments are the same as Gumdrop’s remarks. It’s amusing to me that they apparently didn’t bother to re-record it, but I guess they liked it as-is. I will say, the animation is more lively for A Flintstone Christmas and not as repetitive. And it’s a good observation for a Christmas special to base a song on.

When the song is finished, Fred and Barney resume this town crawl they’re on. I assume they’re Christmas shopping since Fred does have a gift under his arm. Their meandering leads them to a pet shop where the two look at a bunch of little dinosaurs that look in Dino. Fred thinks one looks like his boss, I guess because it’s small? Barney ponders the thought of getting Bamm-Bamm a pet for Christmas (I thought they had Hoppy?) and theorizes that one could double as a guard dog. When Fred laughs and points out how little the pup is, he gets bitten on the finger for underestimating the runt.

Since it’s the morning of Christmas Eve I guess they didn’t wait until the last minute.

The next morning, the Rubbles approach the Flintstone’s house. Barney is apparently giving Fred a ride to work while inside Fred is decorating the tree Wilma and Pebbles picked out the night before. It seems an odd time to decorate a tree, but maybe it’s an ancient cave man custom? Barney yanks the door bell, which is a monkey’s tail. He’s alerted to ding some bells which are colored red and green for the holidays. When done, he just goes back to sleep. What? No sarcastic remark?!

Fred must have one hell of a tree stand under that tree skirt.

Fred, who is on top of a ladder in a precarious position, seems excited that Barney is here to take him to work. Dino is excited too and his running by caused Fred to teeter. Eventually, the ladder will fall leaving Fred dangling from the tree like an oversized, grumpy, ornament. As the Rubbles enter and admire the tree, Betty quietly asks Wilma if she had a chance to ask Fred about something. She has, twice, and he’s said “No” to whatever this secret request is. Barney and Fred need to have a contest of ornament placement for some reason, with Barney selecting a spot for the final one (they all look like painted rocks) that Fred disagrees with just because they’re men and everything has to be a competition. He then places it in the spot he declares is perfect with predictable results. The tree falls on him pinning him to the floor, but good thing Barney is here to remind us that Bamm-Bamm is the strongest kid in the world and he effortlessly picks the tree up with one hand to free his Uncle Fred.

You know Wilma, he’d probably be willing to play Santa if you stuck up for him every once and awhile when someone calls him fat.

Wilma thanks the lad for his assistance then tells Pebbles to take Bamm-Bamm to go listen to some records because she needs to talk to her father. When the kids are gone, Wilma and Betty try to bring up the topic again. It seems that a local women’s group is hosting a gathering tonight, on Christmas Eve, for the town kids and they want Fred to play Santa. Fred refuses on account of the guys at work will poke fun at him and right on cue Barney wonders where they could find a suit big enough to fit Fred. Fred uses that as proof of what he’s talking about and refuses to discuss it further. Barney kisses his wife goodbye while Fred storms off. He then pops back into frame to give Wilma a kiss as well (on the cheek, these guys are still prudes) which softens her demeanor. They don’t seem too discouraged by Fred’s refusal, likely because they have an ace up their sleeves. Or they would if they wore sleeves.

You have to be close friends to be willing to ride in that together.

We next find Barney dropping Fred off for work. Barney’s car appears to be a hollowed out log on wheels. We only see it from the side, but it sure doesn’t look like a two-seater. That must have been a very uncomfortable ride (or perhaps extremely comfortable, depending on how they feel about each other). Fred heads into work and is immediately told by the foreman, Ed (Don Messick), that Mr. Slate wants to see him. This immediately unnerves Fred, but Ed doesn’t care and cheerfully tells him that he’ll help Fred look for a new job. Nice guy.

The dinosaur being named Otis is a smart touch.

Fred heads inside to the elevator and pulls the lever to take it down. As he does so, he’s just muttering to himself trying to reason why Mr. Slate would want to see him. It’s a reassuring exercise as he’s trying to convince himself there’s no way he should be fired. Once the elevator is engaged, we see it’s operated by a brontosaurus like dinosaur. He’s green and he operates the elevator via a rope in his mouth. When Fred pulls the lever, the guy on his back (voiced by Hal Smith) gives the command to start moving which lets the elevator go down. He then complains the dinosaur is moving too slow and that this is supposed to be an express elevator (it’s only one, maybe two stories at most). The dinosaur just looks at the guy and says “Huh?” and as he does he lets go of the rope causing the elevator to plummet to the bottom. Fred is in such a daze though that he doesn’t even notice and continues walking like nothing happened.

I probably don’t need to tell you what he’s saying. You know.

Outside Mr. Slate’s office, Fred tells the secretary he’s here. She speaks into an intercom telling Mr. Slate that Flintstone has arrived and a little purple bird makes a stereotypical parrot sound and flies off. It lands in another intercom box in Mr. Slate’s office and repeats what the secretary said. Mr. Slate calls for Fred to enter, and the bird flies off and relays the message. After doing so, he mugs for the camera and remarks, “Eh, it’s a living.” I feel like anytime someone makes a joke about The Flintstones in such a way that’s the line they always parrot, pun intended. Family Guy has definitely done this, right? I wonder how many times that line has been delivered by a creature on the show in a similar manner?

Oh Fred, have some dignity.

Fred enters the office and asks Mr. Slate what he wanted to see him about. Mr. Slate starts talking about a new job for Fred which immediately causes him to start groveling. He dives under Mr. Slate’s desk so he can grab his ankles and beg which just annoys the guy. He requests Fred to grovel standing up and Fred does as he’s told. This is so pathetic, Fred. Mr. Slate then tells him that the Women’s Auxiliary Club is hosting an event for underprivileged children and that Mrs. Slate wants Fred to play Santa Claus. This is the exact same gig Wilma and Betty were trying to get him to take, but since it’s now coming from his boss, Fred is more than happy to accept. He shakes Mr. Slate’s hand so hard that it won’t stop shaking. Fred happily scoops up the box containing the Santa suit and assures Mr. Slate he won’t regret this. As he heads out, he exits through a door that is clearly not the one he entered through. He closes it behind him, but then reemerges to wish Mr. Slate a “Merry Christmas!” Slate then orders Fred to get out of his closet and he sheepishly pokes his head out and apologizes referring to him as “Boss” in the process. Pathetic.

Always a popular move to have your main character build a snowman.

With that settled, Fred can now merrily exit the office. He punches in, and we see a tired, worn out, little bird has to chisel the time cards each time someone punches in and out. He’s too tired to offer a quip of any kind. There’s then a time skip and Fred is leaving work much happier than he entered. He tosses a coin to the first Santa he sees before going into his solo song – “It’s My Favorite Time of the Year.” This is Fred just galivanting about town telling us how Christmas is his favorite time of the year. Similar to “Which One is the Real Santa Claus?” Fred will sing a part then interject a comment of some kind like “Every house wears a blanket of snow!” This breaks up the melody, which is a bit jarring and an odd choice. We also get another shot of a toy train, different from before, and for some reason Fred indicates it will soon be his? I may have missed a detail in the song. It ends with him putting his turtle shell helmet on a snowman some kids made before stepping on a sleigh that sends him hurtling towards the neighborhood.

I can’t decide if Dino is being sweet or weird. This goes on for minutes.

When Fred arrives, his helmet has returned to his head and he eagerly heads into the house calling for Wilma. Dino (Blanc) has other plans as the dinosaur practically mauls his beloved master and Wilma has to get him off. She points out that Dino just loves him, and as Fred stands and tells Wilma the now good news Dino has a hand on his shoulder like a supportive lover. It’s both adorable and a little weird. Fred then tells Wilma how Mrs. Slate wants him to play Santa Claus at the party tonight. When Wilma asks what changed his mind, Fred starts to go over the events from earlier, but he retells them in a very different manner. In his version, Mr. Slate called him into the office and started buttering him up and told him he was selected for his fantastic acting ability (Fred already asked Mr. Slate if that was the reason, and the bird from the office confirmed it was because he’s fat). He’s excited now though and Wilma, who likely sees through her husband’s ruse, just lets him have this small victory.

You would think Mr. Slate could afford a better suit.

With Pebbles across the street at the Rubbles’ house, Fred is free to try on the suit Mr. Slate gave him. He’s a bit dismayed to see it’s pretty rugged looking. Wilma assures him he’ll look better with the hat on which seems to work to cheer him up once he places it upon his head. Strangely, there’s no beard with this suit which seems like a pretty serious omission. Barney then arrives and he’s able to get in a bunch of fat jokes at Fred’s expense. Seriously, is Fred really that big? He looks pretty normal for a character on this show. Anyway, Fred even tries to just go along with him this time claiming he’s dedicated to the role, but Barney just keeps going and Fred has to basically threaten him with violence, in a subtle manner, to get him to stop. Fred’s actually a decent guy for not going low with return insults. Barney is both short and also struggled with infertility, those are some easy targets. Wilma then announces she’s leaving to help set up for the party. She blows her husband a kiss and heaps a ton of praise on him for doing what he’s doing. It’s actually really sweet.

Maybe the presence of footwear on Santa indicates that he exists outside of time?

As Fred and Barney muse about what a great “gal” Wilma is, they hear a crashing sound coming from the roof. They race outside and see what should be two unfamiliar objects poking out of a snow bank. They’re boots, and apparently they do know what boots are despite never wearing any. Fred and Barney both give a tug which just causes the boots to come off. When they wonder who they belong to, a voice from offscreen says “They’re mine!” It’s Santa, and he has completely emerged from the snow bank with not a flake upon him. He’s been redesigned since “Christmas Flintstone” and looks far less ragged. Fred is wondering what this guy is doing so far from his street corner while Barney immediately recognizes the guy for who he is. He then complains to Fred about his roof and describes it as an obstacle course up there. The guy’s hurt too, so Fred decides they better bring him inside.

Not many mall Santas have one of those.

Once in the house, Santa requests the use of Fred’s telephone. Fred says okay, but tells him no long distance calls! Santa then flops on the surely comfortable stone couch and asks the operator to connect him with The North Pole. Hey, he said no long distance! Fred hears this and surprisingly doesn’t get mad, instead he tells Barney to go alert the asylum that one of their boys got out. Barney reluctantly does as he’s told, but once outside he hears something which directs his gaze to the roof. Sure enough, upon that roof sits Santa’s sleigh and eight reindeer. Surprisingly, we’re playing it straight with the reindeer and not going with some sort of dinosaur hybrid. Barney shouts out for Fred to come and see this and initially Fred tries to silence him so as not to alarm the neighbors. Fred then finally looks at the roof and sees what Barney sees. Finally, he’s convinced this is the real Santa which excites the crap out of him! He jumps up and does his running in place gag and yanks Barney backs inside the house.

Now they’re starting to look the part.

Now that Fred has been made a believer, the three of them can get down to the matter at hand. Not only is Santa injured, he’s also caught a cold. Fred points out the obvious that Santa is in no condition to deliver presents tonight and Santa is forced to admit that sad truth. He can’t take a day off though, not on Christmas Eve! He then wonders how he could possibly find someone jolly enough, and fat enough, to replace him. Barney is happy to point out that his chubby friend is the perfect fill-in and even volunteers to be Fred’s elf helper. Santa thinks this is a great idea and uses some Christmas magic to outfit Barney with a green tunic with orange stockings and a hat. Fred, in his rather sad excuse for a Santa suit, can’t be seen in public like that so Santa uses his magic to bestow his suit on Fred instead complete with a big, white, beard. Fred is pretty smitten with his new threads, and after Santa thoroughly confuses him with instructions for piloting the sleigh, Fred vows to not let Santa down! He then immediately trips over Santa’s legs and falls flat on his face. Santa seems less than confident about what’s about to take place, but I say cut the guy some slack. This is likely his first time ever wearing boots!

There aren’t a lot of effects shots in this one, but the glittering sleigh is at least a nice touch.

Up on the roof, Fred tries to remember how to start the sleigh. Barney reminds him that he has to call out the reindeer by name and we soon find out that Fred has no idea what their names are. As he embarrasses himself, Barney is left to chuckle and then correct him. He calls out the reindeer’s names and as he does we pan to each one like the animators are showing off that they did indeed draw eight of them. The sleigh rockets into the sky and Fred congratulates himself for remembering. The animation of the flying sleigh isn’t super ambitious, but it is nice looking as there’s a lot of sparkle effects added like it’s running atop a glittering road.

This is going about as well as expected.

Fred and Barney arrive at the first house and Fred dives into the chimney with his customary “Yabba dabba do!” and has a fairly harsh landing. At least the fireplace wasn’t lit. Barney calls down to see if he’s okay and Fred sarcastically tells him he loves falling down chimneys. He then calls for the presents and Barney just dumps them down the chimney burying his friend below. Some helper. We then cut quickly to the party that Fred is supposed to show up at. Mr. Slate is wondering where Fred is while Wilma is there to assure him that Fred will be along soon. We’ll be checking in on this situation a lot tonight. Back at the house, Barney asks Fred if he’s done yet only for Fred to reply that he’s been done for awhile, he just can’t get back up the chimney. Barney suggests the front door and Fred agrees that’s a sensible solution to his problem. He quietly exits the house, but as he does he fails to notice the “Beware of Dog” sign. A little triceratops style dinosaur sneaks up on Fred and bites his foot. He howls, but the pain caused him to jump up onto the roof so I’d say mission accomplished!

Apparently, things have to get worse before they can get better.

At the next house, Fred has decided that it’s Barney who should go down the chimney instead. He has Barney standing on the chimney with a rope around his waist that Fred is holding onto at ground level. He’s wrapped it around the mailbox for added security. Barney has to ask why it’s he who is going down the chimney now and I assume he just wants to hear Fred admit that he’s too fat. With a chuckle, Barney jumps down the chimney, but he does so before Fred can yell “Go!” His descent catches Fred by surprise pulling him up onto the roof and into the chimney as well where he gets stuck with his feet sticking out. I wonder how many more fat jokes we have to endure?

It’s now time for a montage! Clearly, if we were to follow Fred and Barney to every house this thing would last way longer than 48 minutes so instead we just see them fly past obvious, global, landmarks while presents rain down from the sky. It’s set to the main theme of the special in an instrumental fashion, but soon some lyrics come in. “Sounds of Christmas Day” is performed as we see kids receive their presents which fall from the sky. They celebrate Christmas by ice skating, sledding, and doing what kids love to do most on Christmas Day – open presents!

And things were starting to turn around too.

When the song is over we check in with Fred and Barney. They’re feeling mighty good about the job they’ve done and Fred informs us they’re halfway through. Unfortunately, we have about 20 minutes left in this thing still to go so we need some conflict. Enter: The Storm! Turbulence causes things to get pretty bumpy in the sleigh. Fred tries to fly over it, but it’s no good. We see the pair bounce around and then cut to a close-up shot of the sleigh to see that there are no presents in the sleigh! This is a true Christmas emergency, but we back out for a longer shot and see the presents are returned. Phew, it was just an animation error. Wait a minute! They’re bouncing around again, and now the presents have bounced out! Oh, woe be to Christmas, presents for half of the kids in the world just fell out of the sleigh to land who knows where. This is a problem.

Falling off the roof probably wasn’t fun, but this is still a pretty sweet gig for Santa.

Barney soon takes note of a CB radio in the sleigh. He suggests they see if they can contact Santa via that device and Fred jumps onto it calling out for Santa. Barney tells him he can’t talk like that on a CB radio, you have to use CB talk! Barney takes over and calls out “Sky Sled to Big Red, do you have a copy?” which allows Fred to ask “A copy of what?” I’ve definitely never heard that one before. Eventually, Santa does answer and we see him back at Fred’s house where he just pulls the radio out of…lets not speculate. He doesn’t even let Barney explain and tells him he knows that they blew it. Fred then jumps on and tells Santa about the storm and, to Santa’s credit, he sounds concerned for their well-being upon hearing that detail. Fred tells him what happened, and Santa declares there’s only one thing they can do: head back to the work shop for more toys.

If I were William Hanna or Joseph Barbera I would have this background hanging on my wall. I’d also be dead, so maybe it’s not so bad that I’m not one of them.

This is the point of the special where things start to feel a little long. This is clearly a detour that exists to just pad this one out, but it is what it is. Santa phones ahead to alert the shop to expect the two and we soon see Fred and Barney arrive. The exterior of Santa’s place is lovingly painted with the northern lights hovering in the sky overhead. The two head inside and are greeted by Mrs. Claus (Virginia Gregg) who tells the two the work shop is already working hard to fill the order. Barney and Fred take some time to admire the toys and when Mrs. Claus remarks they have the biggest Christmas list in the world, Fred gives her a “Yeah” that sounds so unimpressed, but I think it’s unintentional.

Maybe this sequence exists because someone felt we had to see the work shop?

The two offer to assist in the work shop and Mrs. Claus, either humoring them or admitting they need all the help they can get, leads the pair in. They have to take a tram of sorts to get there and in no time at all Fred and Barney find themselves accidentally on the assembly line. Fred gets painted blue and the two get stuffed in a box by an automatic wrapper. They poke their heads out to take in the sights and see the elves hard at work. At this point, another song has kicked in and it’s called “A Brand New Kind of Christmas Song,” which sounds like the type of song one would write when padding out a Christmas special. It’s fairly unremarkable, but also not offensive or anything, and it has this horn gimmick it returns to frequently. Fred and Barney, predictably, are of no help as they act like kids might if they happened upon a magic toy shop. About the most help they provide is singing the final verse of the song.

Thank goodness these kids aren’t armed.

When the song is over the pair thank the elves and Mrs. Claus and say their goodbyes. Fred tries to recall the names of the reindeer, but can’t get past Dasher without the aid of Barney. He only calls out four names, but the reindeer get the idea and take off anyway. As the two remark what a great lady Mrs. Claus is, we cut back to the Bedrock Hall where Fred is supposed to make an appearance as Santa Claus. At this point the kids are all loudly demanding that Santa show his face and the adults don’t know what to do. Mr. Slate is more than a little irritated and threats of someone getting fired have begun. Wilma wonders where they could be and checks her watch. It’s digital, but it displays time in Roman numerals so…eh? Betty tries to reassure her that they’re probably planning a dramatic entrance, but Wilma is unconvinced and walks off wondering if Fred will lose his job. This leaves Betty to break the fourth wall by telling us that will be a great Christmas present – a pink slip. It’s a common style of delivery for jokes on The Flintstones, but it feels weird without a laugh track.

When the realization hits that you’ve ruined Christmas by saving Christmas.

We then rejoin Fred and Barney as they deliver toys. They’ve solved their chimney problem by having Fred just drop presents from the sleigh down the chimney -that’s convenient! Barney remarks this is like having a party which causes Fred to remember the actual party. He immediately gets knocked off his game since he is sure that Mr. Slate will fire him for being a no-show tonight. With no other thing they can do, they call Santa once again. This time we’re not privy to the conversation and instead we jump forward in time so Fred can tell us that Santa told them to push the super speed button in the sleigh. Now that we’ve deus ex machina’d this little problem it’s time to return to Bedrock Hall.

There’s going to be a lot of stale cookies in the morning out there.

And at the hall, the kids have not let up and Mr. Slate is implying there will be violence the next time he sees Fred. If you thought that meant he and Barney were about to show up then you’d be wrong. The special instead feels it’s important that we jump back to Fred and Barney just to see them make the last delivery. The super speed button is the biggest cheat code in any Christmas special as it allows them to zoom over a village and the presents just fall from the sky like homing missiles. They know where to go apparently, and so does Fred as he commands the reindeer to head for Bedrock!

Pebbles’ idyllic Christmas.

In Bedrock Hall, Mr. Slate is now apparently hiding from this agitated mob of children behind a curtain. He tells Wilma that if Fred doesn’t show up in one minute he need not show up at all – here or at work! Wilma looks rather concerned, understandably, but has to put on a happy face as Pebbles approaches and declares that Santa isn’t coming. Wilma tells her she needs to have hope, which is when another recycled song from A Christmas Story enters – “Hope.” It’s a melancholy little song and it’s really not bad if you’re into that sort of thing. As it’s played, we see images of Pebbles waking up on Christmas morning and heading for the tree. We see Fred and Wilma looking on and exchanging gifts as well. I like the closing line of “Hope believes in Santa Claus,” and it’s a sequence I really want to love, but at this point in the special it’s arriving when we’re firmly in “Get to the fireworks!” mode.

Welcome, Santa!

And we are finally there as we cut to Fred and Barney flying over Bedrock. They basically crash land on the roof of the hall which throws them from the sleigh and down the chimney. They land on their butts, but the kids don’t care about style points tonight as they immediately start cheering for Santa! Mr. Slate looks rather bewildered at the entrance, maybe he’s a bit shocked to see how well the ratty old suit he gave Fred earlier looks on him, and he soon approaches the pair. Betty and Wilma embrace in relief that the two arrived while Mr. Slate angrily gets in Fred’s face. “Ten seconds more and you would have been fired Flintstone!” His face then immediately switches to a smile as he adds, “But not after an entrance like that! Welcome Santa Claus, welcome to Bedrock!”

If Santa can just magic-up presents when he needs them then why did they have to go back to the work shop after losing all of the presents? Why have a work shop at all?!

Unfortunately for Fred, he doesn’t have time to bask in the praise he just received from his boss because these kids are demanding presents. Fred reaches into his sack to retrieve them, only to find it empty. It’s at this point he realizes they got rid of all the presents in the sleigh and have none left. The kids are practically frothing at the mouth as Barney encourages Fred to try and see if he has any of that Christmas magic in him. He concedes that he can try, while Mr. Slate is thoroughly confused at what they’re talking about and demands they produce presents! Fred points his mittens at the bag and it explodes with presents! They land on the floor around them and the kids stampede on over. In yet another sign that we’re stalling for time, the animation cycles twice of the kids running so we see Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm, along with the other random kids, run past the camera twice despite said camera remaining in a fixed spot.

He makes it look so easy.

Fred and Barney bask in the glow of a job well done, but only for a moment as they soon realize they left Santa back at the house. They run out of there and race back to Fred’s house where the jolly old elf has apparently made a full recovery. He thanks the boys for a job well done and even offers that, should he ever find himself in another pinch, he’ll be calling. Santa then takes back his suit and he needs to get out of there because Wilma, Betty, and the kids are approaching. The women are also pretty salty at Fred and Barney for not staying to help clean up so they will have some explaining to do. Before Santa can leave though, Fred has to ask him one thing: how to get back up the chimney? Santa gives a chuckle and apologizes for not telling him how. He then demonstrates by placing a finger beside his nose, and then up the chimney he goes in a cloud of sparkles.

Time for the boys to come clean.

The gang then enters and Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are still excited from their visit from Santa Claus and his elf. Fred and Barney give a little chuckle as Wilma and Betty storm over and demand to know what happened with them tonight. There’s no sense in hiding it, so they tell the truth: Santa fell off the roof and they had to pitch in and help with the presents. Wilma and Betty laugh and when Fred suggests they don’t believe them Wilma adds “Of course I don’t!” However, they’re still pretty smitten as well following that grand entrance and just can’t stay mad at their boys.

Fred getting bailed out by Christmas Magic yet again!

It’s then proposed that they exchange presents. Betty starts off by giving Barney his and he, in turn, pulls a present out from behind his back. Just where was he hiding that thing? Wilma hands Fred his and Fred reaches into his pocket to find…a hole. It’s implied he forgot, but lucky for him a certain magic man in a red suit owes him a favor. A wrapped present comes floating out of the fireplace and lands in Wilma’s hands. She laughs and remarks what a thoughtful way to deliver her gift completely ignoring the implausible nature of it all. She then does exactly what parents tell their children not to do -she openly speculates that it’s the present she wants most as she opens it. Seriously Wilma? That’s a real dick move! Fred can only cross his fingers that Santa got her the earrings she apparently wanted, but since this is Santa we’re talking about, Fred has nothing to fear. The gaudy sabretooth earrings are indeed in the box and both Betty and Wilma admire them. We don’t get to see what anyone else got.

Safe to say that these two will never lose the Christmas Spirit.

Wilma thanks Fred, and he apparently learned something tonight to not take credit for other people’s work (like he did with Barney all night) and tells Wilma she should really be thanking Santa. The kids then start calling out that they see Santa flying in the sky from the window. Wilma and Betty have a giggle at the imaginations of children while Fred and Barney race over to the window and start waving bye themselves. The women seem stunned a moment, but then laugh again. Wilma remarks that they certainly have the Christmas Spirit and Fred and Barney confirm to her that they sure do. We cut to the sky and are treated to a moon shot as Santa flies by. It’s he who gets the customary last line as he calls out “Merry Christmas to all!” and we close on a shot of Bedrock from sky level.

They sure know how to end a Christmas special.

That is definitely a long one, but a charming one. I wasn’t shy about sharing my thoughts on when things started to feel like they were overstaying their welcome, but I enjoy the final pay-off at Bedrock Hall. Mr. Slate essentially does a Scrooge routine where he acts like he’s about to make life miserable for the protagonist, only to turn the tables on him. It’s effective and I love it here. The overall plot is also a good one. It’s easy to lose sight of that since it is so similar to “Christmas Flintstone,” but having your main characters take over for Santa on Christmas Eve is a good premise. Certainly far better than a parody, which The Flintstones will resort to in the future.

This being Hanna-Barbera, the animation isn’t anything to write home about. It’s better than a typical TV show and at least we get new character models with Fred and Barney in their Santa and elf costumes. They did do all eight reindeer, so I’ll give credit there since so many shows skimp on that detail, and the shots from the sleigh look rather nice. There’s just little to no attempt at special effect shots. Dino tackles Fred offscreen, Santa emerges from the snowbank offscreen, shortcuts like that permeate this one. There’s also a liberal use of recycled animation throughout. The train set from the beginning of the special is the same train set we see at Santa’s work shop, for example. It adds to the padded nature of this one. It definitely didn’t need to be 48 minutes, though I do think having a little extra than a typical episode of The Flintstones helps. A recut would certainly benefit the special. Or, if instead of making it shorter we just got to see more Fred and Barney delivering presents hijinks instead of the North Pole that might have been better. We basically see them deliver gifts at just two houses.

The train set so great we had to see it twice.

The music is rather pleasant throughout. “Sounds of Christmas Day” is essentially the theme of the special and it’s lovely as an instrumental. The special didn’t rely on public domain music, though it did recycle songs from that other Christmas special. It’s kind of funny that they did because those songs weren’t remarkable by any means, but again, it’s probably better than hearing “Jingle Bells” once again. The only song I could have done without is the one from the work shop, but that whole sequence could be dropped, as far as I’m concerned. And even though I said it was weird for Betty’s joke to lack a laugh track, that doesn’t mean I miss one. It’s actually really refreshing to watch The Flintstones and not have to hear one every 10 seconds.

I’m happy with where I have this ranked, but it could have been higher without this needless detour.

Is A Flintstone Christmas one of the top 25 Christmas Specials of all time? For me it is. I’m not really a fan of The Flintstones, but I did watch the show a fair amount growing up. I’ve always liked the premise more than the execution when it comes to the show. I can’t really remember any specific episodes in great detail from my youth as it was one of those shows that was just on. As such, I don’t think nostalgia is playing a huge role in my enjoyment here. I suppose it is in the sense that I did get a little excited when I would come across this special as a kid just because it was something I didn’t see a lot. As someone who watched the same specials over and over year in and year out you can probably see how anything that felt “new” to me could be appealing. And yet, aside from the over reliance on fat jokes, this one charms the hell out of me. If it was just a little tidier it would be better, but as is, I still enjoy it quite a bit and I think you will too.

If you would like to make A Flintstone Christmas part of your Christmas viewing this year, it’s both easy and a little difficult. The DVD is one of those burn-on-demand releases and can still be found for fairly cheap and it comes with A Flintstone Family Christmas, a decent 90s addition to The Flintstone world. The special is available to rent on Prime video and Vudu, but is not presently on a streaming service. It is available for free on The Internet Archive and in great quality at that. It’s also available in other corners of the internet for free, but maybe at a lesser quality and likely with a Cartoon Network or Boomerang logo in the corner.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 5 – A Garfield Christmas

This year, I’m bringing back a feature from last year where I take another look at, what I consider to be, the greatest Christmas specials ever made. I explained my reasoning for doing this in prior posts, but in short, the first time I looked at some of these specials I did just a short…

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Dec. 5 – Pluto’s Christmas Tree

Today we’re doing the second look-back to one of the best Christmas specials ever conceived, as chosen by yours truly, and it’s one of my all-time favorites: Pluto’s Christmas Tree. Despite being titled Pluto’s Christmas Tree, this Jack Hannah-directed cartoon short from 1952 is actually considered a Mickey Mouse cartoon. Mickey apparently had it written…

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Dec. 5 – The Captain’s Christmas

Did you ever wonder where those speech balloons in comic books came from? Maybe you just assumed they were always there, but they actually originate from a comic strip titled The Katzenjammer Kids. The strip was created by cartoonist Rudolph Dirks and it debuted in newspapers in December of 1897. It was incredibly popular for…

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Dec. 4 – Doug – “Doug’s Christmas Story”

Original air date December 12, 1993.

Last year, we covered in depth the inaugural Christmas episodes of Rugrats and The Ren & Stimpy Show, two of the three original Nicktoons that premiered in 1991. Now, we’re going to look at the Christmas episode for the other original Nicktoon: Doug. Doug was created by Jim Jinkins and was one of the first of the Nicktoons to go into production. Back when Nickelodeon set out to commission its own animation, the studio didn’t actually have an in-house animation studio, or at least not one capable of producing three shows. This meant the original three Nicktoons were all animated independent of Nickelodeon which would in turn make them more expensive than the shows that followed. Rocko’s Modern Life was the first Nicktoon produced by Nick’s own internal studio, Games Animation, which also took over The Ren & Stimpy Show following the firing of John Kricfalusi. I think it’s because of that aspect of the show’s production that Nickelodeon was always reluctant to order more. The original contract with Jinkins was for 65 episodes which were ordered in chunks and spread out as seasons, a common tactic unique to animation where one production season is treated as multiples by a network. Nick ended up stopping at 52 episodes though as Doug wasn’t the hit they had envisioned. Not that it was a failure, it just wasn’t on the same level as the other two original Nicktoons. Combine that with it being more expensive to produce than some of the Nicktoons to follow meant Jinkins got to take his project elsewhere. Nickelodeon had agreed to let Jinkins retain ownership of the property from the onset which is how it ended up in the hands of Disney where it would be revived in 1997 and run for a few more years.

It’s easy to see why Doug may not have been the success that Rugrats and The Ren & Stimpy Show were. Rugrats was fairly unique in its depiction of toddler life which was ripe for comedy while The Ren & Stimpy Show was just off-the-wall zaniness. Doug was a gentler show that was basically a coming-of-age story about a kid who was actually older than the show’s target demographic. Doug was roughly 11 and a half and said to be in the 7th grade and most of the episodes dealt with Doug facing pretty ordinary problems: allowance, rumors, popularity, peer pressure, etc. The show was able to flex its animation muscle a bit with Doug’s imagination. Doug acted as both main character and narrator for each episode and would often fantasize about a way out of his problems where a superhero, secret agent, or some other product of his imagination would save the day. In the end, Doug would have to figure things out on his own that didn’t involve superpowers or fancy spy gear. Alongside him was always his trusty canine sidekick, Porkchop, who is basically on the level of Scooby Doo or Astro as far as intelligence goes. He’s way beyond a normal dog and he’s a character that helps remind the viewer that they’re watching a cartoon and not something set in the real world.

Jim Jinkins created Doug to not be an education show, but he did want each episode to have a moral of some kind which gave it a decidedly different flavor from the other Nicktoons.

Unlike the other two debut Nicktoons, Doug saved his Christmas episode for what Nickelodeon dubbed Season 4 of the show. Airing in 1993 was “Doug’s Christmas Story,” one of the last episodes of the show to premiere on Nickelodeon. Only three episodes remained from the Nick production run after it with Doug wrapping up on New Year’s Day 1994. And like a great many Christmas episodes from shows that customarily split their half hour block in two, “Doug’s Christmas Story” takes up the full 23 minute runtime for the episode so it can tell a more complete story. It’s one of tragedy and triumph and I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler to say Doug will have an okay Christmas when all is said and done.

Pictured: the kids actually able to afford hockey sticks.

Following the standard opening credits (boo!), we find Doug and his friends doing something familiar for the opening of a Christmas episode: skating. More precisely, they’re playing hockey on a frozen pond, but it’s impossible not to get some A Charlie Brown Christmas vibes from the scene. Doug chimes in as narrator to tell us that basically the worst possible thing that could happen in the lead-up to Christmas is about to happen. He doesn’t actually tell us what that something is, we have to watch and find out. Once he’s done setting the stage, we see the town kids playing hockey. You get a sense of which kids come from money and which don’t. Some have nice gear and actual hockey sticks, while Doug (Billy West) and his buddy Skeeter (Fred Newman) are using a rake and broom, respectively. Apparently, no one owns a hockey puck though as the kids are playing with a pine cone.

This isn’t going to go over well.

Porkchop (Newman) is also present and sliding around on the ice, but he comes to a section marked as a hazard for thin ice and freaks out a bit. As he backs off of the ice, it breaks, and the sign sinks below the surface of the water. A scrum around the not-puck results in the pine cone sliding over in the direction of the area Porkchop just vacated. Beebe (Alice Playten) skates over to retrieve it completely unaware of the thin ice. Despite the pine cone being located near open water, Beebe still heads in the direction to retrieve something that literally grows on trees while Porkchop tries to warn her. Now, I said Porkchop possessed intelligence far beyond a normal dog and compared him to the likes of Scooby Doo, but one thing Scoob can do that Porkchop cannot is actually talk. He communicates with pantomime mostly, and it’s pretty hard to figure out how to get the message of “thin ice” across in such a fashion. Especially when time is a factor, so he does the only thing a dog can do: he bites Beebe. By locking his jaws on her leg, he’s able to pull her away from danger, but to Beebe and any onlooker, it just looks like he attacked her (well, that’s how we’re supposed to read it and thereby ignore the actual open water she was skating towards). Beebe screams and the other kids gather around. As Doug approaches to find out what happened he’s given the bad news: Porkchop attacked Beebe. Doug is rather flabbergasted, but does the normal thing of reprimanding his dog as he has to go off of what the eyewitnesses saw, even if it makes no sense.

Following a quick break to introduce the title card, we find Doug and Porkchop at home. Doug is reprimanding Porkchop for what he did by telling him that you don’t bite people, even if it is Beebe. Beebe is basically the spoiled rich girl of the show that is hard to like, so if the viewer was going to enjoy seeing any of the characters in the show have pain inflicted upon them, chances are it would have been Beebe. Or the school bully, Roger, who is surprisingly absent from this one. Anyway, Porkchop tries to pantomime what happened for Doug, but his message isn’t getting across. Doug just tells him to quit goofing off and sends him into his igloo, which is his dog house. After Porkchop sullenly heads inside, Doug’s sister Judy (Becca Lish) pulls into the driveway and beckons Doug to come with her so they can get Christmas presents for their parents while they’re out. Doug seems a bit reluctant to leave Porkchop, but hops into the car anyway.

The former mayor turned disc jockey.

We then cut to a radio station where the former mayor of Bluffington, Bob White (Greg Lee), is hosting a talk show. He’s relaying some recipe that involves cocktail weiners soaked in grape jelly, which just sounds terrible. We also find out that he’s a bit of a sore loser as he lost his re-election bid in an earlier episode to Doug’s neighbor, Mrs. Dink, but he points out on his show that she’s out of town which practically makes him the acting mayor for the holidays (I don’t think that’s how it works, Bob, but whatever). Some of his terminology is eerily similar to some of the stolen election rhetoric that’s become all too common in our current society. Anyway, his caller brings up the incident at the pond and Beebe getting attacked by a dog. Seems like a weird thing to gossip about, but okay, it’s a small town. White is understandably just hearing about this for the first time, but he seems to view this incident as an opportunity to get some much needed publicity.

This seems a little over-the-top for a dog.

Doug and Judy are shown shopping and apparently Judy wants to get their father a new golf club. He needs a 9 iron and she mistakenly thinks getting him a 7 and a 2 iron would be better than just getting him one club! Doug, for his part, has his mind still on what happened earlier and can’t really focus on the task at hand. He does see a hat that he thinks would look great on Porkchop and decides to buy that for him for Christmas. This seems to cheer him up a bit as we find the two driving home, but when they get there they find a huge crowd assembled. White has apparently summoned the media and the police and demands that Porkchop be arrested for what happened earlier. He even brought his back-up singers from his radio show to punctuate everything he says. Referring to Porkchop as a trained killing machine, he orders the dog be taken away where he’ll be put away forever. This is all done in the name of keeping the children of Bluffington safe. Doug is understandably confused and a bit distraught, but there’s nothing he or his family can do to stop the cops from tossing Porkchop in a paddy wagon and hauling him off to the pound.

It’s not visible in this shot, but I like how the animators decided to put pants on Doug instead of his customary shorts considering it’s winter and all. For some reason, he’ll be back in shorts though before this one ends.

We then find the Funnie family in their nicely decorated family room. Doug’s dad, Phil (Doug Preis), is trying to cheer his son up by saying how the spirit of the season should help everyone come to their senses. Judy, on the other hand, is ranting about how unbelievable it is they had a killer in their midst this whole time which earns her a reprimand from their mother, Theda (Lish). Doug’s mom then asks him if he’s sure Porkchop was just trying to play with Beebe and that’s the story Doug is running with as he can’t fathom Porkchop ever actually hurting someone. They’re interrupted by the doorbell and it’s a letter for Doug. He opens it to find out it’s from Beebe’s father, Mr. Bluff, and he’s pressing charges against Porkchop. The family is pretty surprised by this development, but they cheer up when Phil suggests they start a petition that has every signer declare that Porkchop is in fact a good dog. Doug thinks it’s a great idea, but also one that he should undertake by himself since Porkchop is his responsibility. I get the sentiment on Doug’s part, but maybe he’s not taking this as seriously as he should? Four people canvassing the town would cover a lot more ground than one, but his parents don’t object and Doug sets off to do right by his pal.

She is just the worst.

Doug gets started right away on gathering signatures for his petition. He starts with his neighbor, Mr. Dink (Newman), who is happy to provide his name for Doug’s cause. He finds other neighbors in a similar position, but soon runs into trouble. When one person finds out he’s trying to help the dog they saw on the news, he declines to sign it. Others seem to follow suit and one older lady even reprimands Doug for spreading such negativity at Christmas time. The fact that Doug just stands there and lets her lecture him makes him a better person than I for I would have gone off on the woman. Defeated, Doug walks off and ends up downtown. A store display has a television running and Doug happens to catch a news report on what the media is calling the incident at Lucky Duck Lake. A re-enactment is shown which features a particularly vicious looking dog basically maul a young girl which gets Doug’s dander up. Realizing this is all getting out of hand, he decides he needs to talk to Beebe to try to put things in perspective.

Mr. Bluff is almost cartoonishly evil given his indifference, or disgust, towards dogs.

And Beebe is currently in the hospital. Doug races over there and tries to enter her room, only he runs into her father, Mr. Bluff just outside it. When he tells Mr. Bluff who he is the man refuses to grant him access to Beebe. In doing so, we also find out that the Bluffs don’t just want Porkchop put away, they want him killed, though he uses the kid friendly term of “put to sleep.” As Doug tries to reason with him, the man just walks away forcing Doug to follow. When he offers up the excuse that Porkchop was just playing, Mr. Bluff just reiterates that they’ll let the court decide if putting an innocent girl in the hospital is just playing. Doug follows him to his limo where the old man finally states it plainly that it’s no use, he doesn’t like dogs on account that they don’t have any money or even understand the concept of money. Now that we’ve established that this man is cartoonishly evil, we can remove any sympathy we might have felt for him as the father of a girl wounded by a dog. Doug tries to appeal to him once more by stating Porkchop is his best friend, but Mr. Bluff just tells him to get a new best friend. As he drives off, Doug suggests he knows just who to turn to in order to solve this crisis.

You know it’s a special episode when Doug’s personas have to get together to formulate a plan.

If you’ve watched an episode of Doug before then you probably know what’s coming. Doug is going to dip into his imagination and consult with one of his personas. Only since this is the biggest crisis we’ve seen Doug face to date, one persona just isn’t enough. We’re taken to a Hall of Justice like building where Doug’s Indiana Jones rip-off, Race Canyon, comes sliding down a firepole. He’s surprised to find the superhero, Quailman (who is just Funnie with a belt on his head and his underwear over his pants), is there already. He thinks Quailman summoned him, but he did not, and soon enters the James Bond wannabe Smash Adams. He’s brandishing a pair of non-alcoholic drinks that he hands to the others and notes they were all summoned here by someone else over a missing dog or something. And that someone else is: Doug! He spins around in a chair dramatically to announce he’s the one who assembled this collection of the world’s greatest heroes (his definition, not mine) because it’s going to take their combined might to get Porkchop back!

Apparently none of them are wise enough to tell Doug that breaking his dog out of prison is probably a bad idea.

Doug shows the assembled heroes a map of the pound where Porkchop is being held. He solicits a plan from each hero and it goes about as well as you might expect. Quailman suggests flying in and using his super powers to subdue the guards, which Doug can’t do. Next is Race who just suggests beating everyone up, but Doug isn’t about to do that. Smash suggests using high tech gadgetry (as he puts it) which Doug actually thinks is a good idea. He then seeks out the real world help of the Sleech twins (Eddie Korbich), the class nerds capable of inventing stuff, to see if they have a solution. They’re eager to help Doug since he’s likely one of the few kids at school who doesn’t make fun of them for their nerdy ways. And since their dad is a donut maker (a plot of a prior episode), they suggest Doug use subterfuge by hiding a smoke bomb in a cupcake. Apparently, these boys have been spending their Christmas break devising weapons that combine with holiday desserts which is a bit alarming. Doug is right to treat these future school shooters kindly.

Poor Porkchop.

Doug sets off with Skeeter and his cupcake bomb to execute his horrible plan to spring Porkchop from the pound. Only upon entering the premises, they find a No Cupcakes sign waiting for them. I guess the plan was to give the cupcake to Porkchop who would then use the cover of the smoke to escape? Seems like the actual cell is an obstacle Doug didn’t account for. Well, with that obstacle in place, Doug still decides to push ahead and alerts Skeeter that he’s up. Skeeter does as he’s told and fakes an illness, only the cop doesn’t really care. He takes a phone call, and it’s about Porkchop too, and that’s the distraction that allows Doug to slip inside to find Porkchop. At first, Doug can’t find him, but he calls out for Porkchop and a helpful dog points him in the direction of a door labeled Very Bad Dogs. In there, he finds a spiral staircase that leads deep into a dungeon-like setting where Porkchop still can’t be found and that’s because he’s in the section for Very Very Bad Dogs. Meanwhile, the cop tries eating the cupcake despite Skeeter’s warning not to and activates the smoke bomb, which will surely reflect poorly on Doug. He soon finds Porkchop who is basically in solitary confinement. He’s locked in a box which in turn is locked in another room separate from the others. Or not locked, as Doug is able to enter, but he sets off an alarm in the process and is hauled away. We briefly get a glimpse of a teary-eyed Porkchop waving goodbye to his best friend. It’s the saddest shot in the episode.

Aww, look how cute they are!

The guards at the pound must have felt some pity for Doug as he apparently avoided his own arrest. We next find him standing outside of Porkchop’s igloo which is covered in police tape. He’s at a loss as to what he can do next and starts to reflect on his past with his dog. We see a toddler Doug opening a present on Christmas which just so happened to contain Porkchop. We also get a shot of last Christmas when Porkchop gifted Doug the very journal he’s writing in as he narrates this story. We then see a vision of the future and a Doug draped in a black coat standing beside Porkchop’s grave. It’s at this point that Doug finally allows himself to cry for how could he not feel helpless knowing that if he fails his dog is as good as dead?

If things weren’t serious before, they are now.

The next day is the trial, and it starts with Mr. Bluff speaking casually to the judge and refers to him by his first name, Dave (West), and informs him he wants this over with quick so he can get to his office Christmas party. The judge tries to discourage him from being so casual, but lets him know he’s of the same mind, essentially. Porkchop is then brought in, muzzled and tied-up, and apparently Doug will be representing him. I guess the Funnie family couldn’t afford a lawyer? I’m also guessing that since this is essentially a civil matter that they’re not entitled to representation. Bluff’s attorney presents an expert on dog psychology who has predictably decided Porkchop is predisposed to being a killer. While he’s giving his testimony, Porkchop is trying to communicate something about the lake to Doug which the expert just uses against him as further proof the dog is nuts. Then they drop the hammer by bringing in their last witness: Beebe. She’s confined to a wheelchair with her leg wrapped and Doug is legitimately alarmed to see the state she’s in. She looks rather sad, like she doesn’t want to be there, but takes the stand, nonetheless.

With how cavalier everyone is towards Porkchop in this one, I’m guessing dog ownership isn’t that high in Bluffington.

Upon seeing the state Beebe is in, Doug does what he always does when overwhelmed: he retreats into his imagination. This is just further proof that someone else should be representing Porkchop here, but clearly he’s ride or die with Doug. In his head, Doug imagines his three heroes proposing suggestions on what to do next, which Race thinks should be to plead guilty. The three then get into a physical altercation which just forces Doug to realize that the only one who can get he and Porkchop out of this mess is himself. Beebe is then shown finishing her testimony and it’s now made clear she’s not really fully onboard with this charade. As she says what happened she tells the court that Porkchop did bite her leg, but tries to clarify that it didn’t hurt, which her father’s attorney tries to gloss over. When Doug asks if he can cross-examine the witness, Mr. Bluff objects declaring the girl has been put through too much already. The judge apparently agrees as he asks the people present “Isn’t she a brave girl, ladies and gentlemen?” Again, we’re talking about a dog here so apparently the same rules don’t apply. Doug then approaches the bench to try to plead his case that Porkchop should be allowed to tell his side of the story. He explains that Porkchop has been trying to tell him something about the lake and proposes going there, but the judge finds this suggestion ridiculous. He points out that a dog can’t tell it’s side of the story, and since it’s Christmas Eve, they all have families they need to return to.

Finally! Porkchop has a reason to smile! Though I don’t understand why he would suddenly be permitted to remove the muzzle.

Doug takes that as an opening and declares that Porkchop is a part of his family just as Beebe is to the Bluffs. The judge still seems unconvinced, which is when Doug addresses the assembled crowd to point out how Porkchop is a part of the community. It’s at this point the episode goes off the rails a bit for me as we hear about all of the good deeds Porkchop has done. Doug calls out one woman and points out that Porkchop babysat her kids when she had to go out of town to see an aunt. Another family had their house burn down, and Porkchop showed up the next day to help them rebuild. Another person chimes in that he lent them money and a woman stands up to declare that Porkchop fixed her transmission. The capper is that even the judge has encountered Porkchop in his day-to-day life. It seems his daughter suffered an accident and Porkchop actually taught her how to walk again. The judge probably should have recused himself from the case given that, but even so, the dog taught his kid how to walk! This is one absurdly amazing animal. This judge is ready to execute him after that experience?! This dog should be world famous and Bluffington’s number one citizen!

Old Killer is at it again!

After Doug pleads his case, the judge finally allows for Porkchop to do the same and orders everyone to reconvene at Lucky Duck Lake. Once there, Beebe explains what happened to the judge once more and points out where she thought she was at the time of the attack. Doug asks her to point out exactly where she was, but she’s not sure. Patti (Constance Shulman) spots the pine cone they were using as a puck and determines that she must have been there. Of course, there’s open water still present and even the Thin Ice sign is visible floating on it. As Beebe heads over there, Porkchop once again goes into a panic as he tries to warn everyone about the ice. To the onlookers, this just makes Porkchop look like he wants to maul her again and the judge even suggests that he’s seen enough. Doug assures them that Porkchop is just trying to tell them something and he gets on one knee to consult with the dog. It’s too late though as Beebe falls through the ice!

If you want a rich person to care about a poor dog, you basically have to save their life or the life of a loved one. And they better witness you doing it too!

Mr. Bluff immediately cries out for someone to help his daughter, but Doug shouts out a warning about the ice (finally, someone gets it!). Porkchop is able to break free of the guards and runs after Beebe diving into the water as Beebe goes under. He’s able to pull her up and onto the ice and drag her to safety. We then cut to everyone gathered in a hut of some kind as Patti declares that Porkchop was trying to keep Beebe away from the thin ice. Finally, the last horse, or horses, cross the finish line and the people gathered rightly acknowledge that Porkchop is a hero, not a devil. Porkchop is set free and we cut to Christmas morning and Doug looking at a newspaper which declares Porkchop a hero for saving Beebe. Porkchop is gifted the hat Doug bought for him and he seems to like it, though he also has a cold. Doug also narrates that people kept coming by all morning to see Porkchop, including Mr. Bluff and Beebe, whose leg is suddenly all better. Mr. Bluff, who clearly has had a change of heart, wants to know if there’s something he can do for Porkchop as a showing of thanks for saving the life of his daughter. Doug doesn’t know of anything, but Porkchop apparently does.

There’s the happy reunion we’ve been waiting for!

Porkchop is somehow able to communicate that what he would like most is for Mr. Bluff to put on a feast for all of the dog’s at the pound. We then get to see how it all unfolded as it took place in the center of town. The former mayor attended and Doug informs us that he was able to use his radio show to find homes for all of the dog’s in attendance. Mr. Bluff, who apparently has a different outlook on dogs now, offers a toast to all in attendance and a special toast for The Hero of Bluffington – Porkchop! Porkchop is there as well dressed as Santa Claus and he joins the Funnie family for a toast. The camera pans out as the assembled crowd break into “Deck the Halls” which takes us into the credits. As a parting gift, we’re treated to an image of a Christmas card from the Funnie family.

Doug even channels The Grinch with a “He himself,” line in reference to Mr. Bluff.

And that’s how Porkchop went from villain to hero one Christmas. It’s a solid approach to tug at the heart strings, have a dog wrongfully accused of being a bad dog and toy with the emotions of the viewer by suggesting the life of the mutt is over. And while the premise is a bit preposterous, it fits with the setting of the show since Porkchop is a bit preposterous himself. It just takes things too far by making the people of Bluffington look incredibly stupid by not realizing what is obvious to anyone who looks at that lake. And they also look like lunatics for wanting to terminate Porkchop from the start. The dog is amazing! Too amazing as it undermines the situation because no one would assume the worst of Porkchop given what he’s demonstrated in the past. It’s to the point where it’s absurd. Am I taking this cartoon too literally? Possibly, but it did it to itself by going way too far in characterizing Porkchop as a force in the community. We didn’t need all of those incredible examples of the dog’s good nature in the courtroom to be on his side. And if the show didn’t portray the people of Bluffington as being so readily out for blood then it wouldn’t have taken such a speech to grant Porkchop a defense. Sure, heading to the scene of the crime to let a dog tell its side of the story is a bit odd, but the judge was literally denying Doug any kind of defense for his dog. He couldn’t even cross-examine a witness!

Looks like it was a merry Christmas after all, just as I predicted it would be.

This one is clunky, but don’t assume that means I wasn’t still moved by it. Of course I was! I get a little choked up each time I watch that silly dog pull Beebe from the water and I do feel good for Doug and his dog when all is said and done. It’s still a heartwarming story, it just pushes things too far. It tries way too hard to be that kind of story when it didn’t really have to. That’s why a much better Christmas Nicktoon is “Arnold’s Christmas.” That plot needed some pretty crazy things to fall into place as well, but it doesn’t feel like it’s reaching to the degree that “Doug’s Christmas Story” is. Does that make this one bad? No, but I can totally understand someone having more of an eye roll reaction here than feeling truly moved.

Season’s greetings from the Funnie family!

If you would like to see this one for yourself, your best option is to stream it on Paramount+. Doug, being a less celebrated Nicktoon, isn’t assured of finding airplay on cable this year. It’s also a little messy in that Disney owns the character now so Nickelodeon might not be eager to promote this one, even though the company retains ownership of this era of Doug. The episode was released on both VHS and DVD if that’s your fancy, and it can be rented on other streaming services. I give it a bit of a tepid recommend. While I think anyone can enjoy it, it’s probably best enjoyed by those who watched the show as a kid. Anyone else might just find it too ridiculous to take seriously.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 4 – The Pups’ Christmas

Hugh Harman and Rudolf Ising were among the first stars of cartoon creation to burst onto the scene. Together, the duo would work for Disney, Warner, and MGM (among others) creating and overseeing some of animation’s most memorable characters from the golden age. After working with Leon Schlesinger’s studio to produce Looney Tunes shorts, the…

Dec. 4 – Family Guy – “Christmas Guy”

In the fall of 2013, beloved family dog, Brian, met his demise. Brian was an extraordinary dog capable of communicating in English with his family members who was often seen walking on two feet. Despite that though, he met a rather ordinary end for a dog when he was unceremoniously struck by an automobile. Life…

Dec. 4 – A Christmas Story (1972)

For today’s Christmas post, we’re going to take a look at A Christmas Story. No, not that Christmas Story, the first one. Way before Ralphie started obsessing over a BB gun, the duo of William Hanna and Joseph Barbera brought us a story about a mouse and a dog trying to get a last-minute letter…


Dec. 3 – Animaniacs – ‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

Original air date November 29, 1993.

Children’s cartoons often take to Christmas when the season rolls around. The holiday is usually ripe for parody or just direct adaptations so it’s easy for the writers to kind of phone it in. What’s not customary is for a cartoon series to feature two dedicated Christmas episodes in a single season! That’s what Animaniacs did in 1993 airing the episode we’re about to talk about one week, followed by the episode which featured “A Christmas Plotz” the next week. I’m not sure why this approach was undertaken. Maybe they had too many ideas to settle on? “A Christmas Plotz” is the sort of special I dread as it’s just a re-telling of A Christmas Carol. It’s not bad, but it’s a bit that was stale even come 1993 unless the writers found a way to really upend it, which the show did not. This episode, which features “‘Twas the Day Before Christmas” and is the segment I consider the meat of the episode, is more a scatter-shot type of episode. None of the segments are particularly long, but most tie into Christmas in some way. And they’re a bit more original than a parody of A Christmas Carol, though there’s some DNA from other Christmas specials to speak of.

It doesn’t take much effort, but just adding falling snow to the opening credits really adds to the Christmas feeling.

The episode begins with a short segment called “Slippin’ on the Ice.” The Warners, Yakko (Rob Paulsen), Wakko (Jess Harnell) and Dot (Tress MacNeille) are literally slipping on some ice as they sing about it. It’s very brief and feels like a time-filler, but it’s well animated. It takes us into the opening credits which are the standard ones, only they’ve added falling snow over them. It’s a simple, but effective, way to make the episode feel more special. When the credits end (the credit joke is Yakko singing “Citizen Kaney”) we launch right into the intro for Slappy the Squirrel, only this time, there are no Christmas accents. We then get a title card for the main attraction “‘Twas the Day Before Christmas.”

This framing device is just a way to include Slappy and Skippy as there seemed to be a desire to fit in all of the regulars.

When the cartoon begins we find Skippy (Nate Ruegger) in his room by the window when his aunt Slappy (Sherri Stoner) enters. Skippy is in his pajamas, and Slappy too, and she’s wondering why he isn’t asleep. It’s Christmas Eve, and the kid keeps hearing the sound of Santa’s sleigh bells outside and can’t sleep (Oh, do I know the feeling). Slappy tells him he’s just hearing the LAPD choppers and throws him over her shoulder to dump into bed. Skippy then tells her he can’t sleep and would welcome a story. Slappy remarks “For the love of Al Gore,” which certainly dates this one a bit (the main failing of this show and Tiny Toon Adventures is they both relied on topical references that don’t always age well), but then agrees to provide one story to send Skippy off into Dreamland. He agrees to the proposal, which is followed up with Slappy asking if he wants to hear about the time she stuffed live piranhas down the pants of Sonny Tufts? I had to look up who Sonny Tufts was. Apparently, he’s an actor who did most of his work for Paramount and starred in the film Cat-Women of the Moon. Also, by the time this episode aired he had been dead for 33 years.

Ladies and gentlemen: Sonny Tufts!

Skippy is not interested in hearing about some dead actor’s piranha troubles and insists on Slappy telling him a Christmas story. She still tries to sell him on the Tufts story by saying he was drinking eggnog at the time, but Skippy just hands her a book. Slappy agrees and takes the book, but before she can start reading she has to noisily clear her throat which Skippy responds to with his catchphrase, “spew!” The title of the book is The Day Before Christmas and it’s basically A Visit from Saint Nicholas, or ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, only it’s going to be about some characters we all know and love: the Warners!

The pattern on those giant ornaments just makes me think of Easter eggs.

Slappy begins reading it, but her narration is only going to be used to get us into the story. From there, the characters present will speak their own lines without the aid of a narrator, but they’ll speak in a cadence reminiscent of the source book. It’s a little annoying, but not overly so. As the story begins, it’s the day before Christmas (as the title implied) and it’s 90 degrees in Burbank, CA. The Warners are busy decorating their water tower so Santa knows just where to deliver the presents. Elsewhere, some characters are fretting though. And those characters are Mr. Plotz (Frank Welker), Dr. Scratchensniff (Paulsen), and Hello Nurse (MacNeille). Plotz is fretting because he needs to find someone to deliver presents to the Warners, but he doesn’t know who is stupid enough to do so. He turns to the doctor first, who refuses on account that he did it last year. They drove him bonkers and kissed him a lot then made him stay up late singing carols and he apparently got creamed in a pillow fight.

I bet the artists loved working on Hello Nurse.

Hello Nurse, and I forgot just how absurdly curvaceous this character was drawn until now, asks Plotz why bother when they can just leave the job for Santa? He informs her it’s because they have a clause in their contract that mandates it and if they don’t they can sue. Plotz understandably doesn’t want to deal with that, but wonders aloud where he can find someone stupid enough to do it? Right on cue, he spins in his chair and spies the security guard, Ralph (Welker), who certainly qualifies as stupid enough. Ralph is one of those characters that I don’t think children’s shows do anymore as he’s one of those “Dahh, okie dokie,” kind of morons that could be read as being an insensitive take on someone with an actual genetic condition.

Come on! It’s Christmas! Can’t we give Buttons a reprieve from crippling pain?

When we’re taken to Ralph, he’s basically closing down the Warner lot and saying goodbye to celebrities as they drive on out. The first to go is apparently Kevin Costner in a limo. The next is a station wagon and when Ralph wishes the vehicle a “Merry Christmas” the window rolls down to reveal it’s Buttons (Welker) and Mindy (Nancy Cartwright). She gets to utter her catchphrase, “Okay, I love you buh bye!” while Buttons has pain inflicted upon him when the car window goes up and catches his snout. It feels almost too cruel and looks especially painful for the poor dog. The hippo characters then walk out with Flavio (Welker) shown following his wife while carrying a mountain of wrapped gifts. He looks exhausted, but his wife Marita (MacNeille) calls out for him to come along as they have more shopping to do. Behind them is the mime character and as Flavio moves along an anvil tumbles out of a gift box from his pile and crushes the hapless mime.

Of course I’m getting in this image of the Batmobile.

Off to the side, Rita (Bernadette Peters) and Runt (Welker) are lurking and seeking a way onto the lot as Rita reasons they may be able to find some unguarded dumpsters. Runt is just along for the ride and by pairing him with the Ralph character it becomes quite apparent that Frank Welker’s voice for each character is essentially the same. Only Runt is doing a Rain Man impression to Ralph’s moron voice. Anyway, they slip in undetected as Ralph waves bye to the next guy to pull up, Michael Keaton, who is driving the ’89 Batmobile which Ralph refers to as a “lovely sedan.” Plotz, from his office, is able to build off of this rhyme by declaring “Give him a Santa suit, Ralph is our man!” as he and Dr. Scratchensniff shake on it.

They would get their own classic Christmas special years after this, but I feel like the show really should have given Pinky and The Brain their own Christmas cartoon.

We cut to later that night and the Warner tower is plastered with signs welcoming Santa and instructing him where to deposit their gifts. Yakko’s voice then comes in reading the start of “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas,” with Dot picking up the line about creatures stirring, only she points out there was a mouse stirring. This is our cue for Pinky (Paulsen) and The Brain (Maurice LaMarche) to enter. Brain is dressed as Santa and Pinky an elf and they apparently have a Christmassy plan to take over the world tonight which involves stealing Santa’s sleigh. Pinky responds by saying “Brain, you’re a genius, you simply astound me,” and as he does he whirls around and knocks Brain off of the water tower. As he goes screaming towards the ground, Pinky looks down and exclaims, “Narf! Brain’s gonna pound me!”

I have to hand it to the Warners, they keep a tidy home.

With Brain a pile of goo on the ground, we head inside the water tower. It’s looking rather festive including a giant tree in the middle. The Warners are gathered at the fireplace hanging their stockings and Wakko’s is the one that’s unusually large. Dot explains, “The stockings all hung so our name’s clearly showed,” and Wakko finishes the line by saying, “In hopes that old Santa would leave a big load.” That sounds gross. Yakko then blows us a kiss and says “Goodnight everybody!” as the three hop into bed. They continue with the poem and Wakko gets the part about sugar plums which appear in a thought cloud that he promptly eats. Yakko continues by saying “We were all feeling tired when we turned out the light,” then clicks the light back on to admit, “Forget it! There’s no way I’m sleeping tonight!”

We can’t forget about The Goodfeathers!

We then go to the part about the kids hearing a sound. They jump from their beds, take a tumble, and throw open the door to the water tower. And lo and behold they spy…a cat and a dog in the garbage – P-yew! It’s Rita and Runt again and they’re nosing around for some grub. Then the Warners hear a different sound – a miniature sleigh and eight pigeons with antlers! It’s Ralph Claus and he’s flying through the air being pulled by, as Yakko just told us, eight pigeons with antlers! This allows the Goodfeathers to sneak in as we see Squit (LaMarche), Bobby (John Mariano) and Pesto (Chick Vennera) struggling along with the other five pigeons to keep the rather large Ralph and his sleigh airborne. Despite his appearance, the Warners still refer to him as a little old driver and we get to see Ralph call out to his pigeons, “Duh, now, Bobby. Now, Squit. Now, Pesto. Now, Vixen. On, Comet. On, Cupid. On Richard and Nixon!”

I feel like Brain isn’t usually subjected to this much abuse.

The little sleigh gets tugged up to the top of the tower where Santa is hurled with Brain (now back on the tower) declaring “As soon as it lands we’ll take over the world!” Only the sleigh lands on the two mice and it’s not a pretty sight. They yank themselves out from under the runner of the sleigh, only for Santa Ralph to step on them as he exits it. Brain remarks, “Pinky, I am in considerable pain,” but Pinky is only able to reply in nonsense words of “Narf! Zoit! Poit! Gake!” before finishing with “I’m with you, Brain.” Inside the tower, the Warners are preparing for Santa’s imminent arrival, but before he can do that Squit has to tell Pesto his antlers look cute so the hot-headed pigeon has an excuse to whack him. With that out of the way, Santa makes his grand entrance by dropping through the ceiling like a sack full of bricks. The Warners inform us he’s likely concussed, and Ralph confirms it by wishing “Happy Easter, you guys!”

Everybody is getting creamed in this one!

The Warners haul him to his feet so that Yakko can make fun of his appearance before Ralph heads over to the tree to unload all the presents. Then it’s time for him to make his exit, but since this is a 90s cartoon he can’t lay his finger beside his nose, but inside it! Yakko tells us the dear network censor finds it totally gross so we don’t actually see him go three knuckles deep and instead we just see him climb the Christmas tree and out the hole in the roof. There Ralph hops back into his sleigh to signal the flock, but when they take off they drop like a rock. Ralph and the pigeons look rather worse for ware on the ground below, but what’s this? Up in the sky! Could it be?!

It just keeps getting worse for Ralph.

Yes, it is! It’s Santa! The real Santa who bellows out “Season’s greetings to all,” as he flies by the moon with all eight reindeer. Rita and Runt are then shown shouting out their thanks as Santa apparently left them some food that didn’t come from the garbage. Santa then circles back to make another pass before the moon while shouting out, “Merry Christmas to Yakko, Wakko, and Dot!” The Warners are shown waving from their tower at the departing Saint Nick as the cover from the book we’ve been reading from closes upon them.

A picture perfect ending.

We’re back in Skippy’s room and his aunt Slappy has apparently fallen asleep. Skippy closes the book and sets it aside and says “And Merry Christmas Aunt Slappy and to you girls and boys. As for me,” he curls up under his covers and closes his eyes. Then they snap open and the little squirrel leaps high in the air to add, “I’m going downstairs to open my toys!” And the little scamp races off while an iris shot closes out the scene.

Go check out that tree, Skippy! I guess he has a tree within a tree?

That’s the end of the main cartoon I want to talk about, but it’s not the end of the episode. A “Good Idea/Bad Idea” segment follows juxtaposing singing Christmas carols at Christmas with doing the same thing on the Fourth of July. The skeleton family gets blown up for their holiday mix-up which seems rather harsh. After that, we go into another cartoon: Jingle Boo. It’s a Chicken Boo sketch with a holiday theme, though it foregoes the usual opening. If you’ve never seen one of these, Chicken Boo is just an oversized chicken masquerading as a man, only he’s really not personified at all. He’s just a chicken. Most of the people in his orbit don’t seem to notice, but sometimes there is one person who does making it feel like a goofy Twilight Zone bit sometimes, which is how this one is going to go.

Just a perfect gift from the perfect Santa Claus.

The short begins with a shot of a Christmas tree positioned on top of a building. “Oh Tannenbaum” plays in the background which is soon replaced with an instrumental version of “Jingle Bells” as the camera pans down to reveal we’re outside of a store named Marcy’s. Inside we find a mall setting and there’s a massive line of children and parents waiting to see Santa Claus. One woman (Gail Matthius) remarks he’s the most convincing Santa she’s ever seen. The other adults, another mom (MacNeille) and a dad (Paulsen) seem to agree as the first woman’s child runs up and jumps on Santa’s lap. She seems to be credited as Sabina (MacNeille) in the credits and she has a real Pistol energy from Goof Troop which makes me wish they had Nancy Cartwright voice her. Anyway, she jumps onto Santa’s lap and we see that it’s clearly Chicken Boo in the suit. Sabina wants a Baby-Go-Burp doll for Christmas and one comes down a chute beside Santa and he hands it to her. It does a very exaggerated burp which the child is happy to show off to her mother by having it belch in her face.

The only smart person in this picture.

Another kid (sounds like Nate Ruegger again) follows and he asks for a Mr. Dude action figure complete with polyester power suit and dude accessories. The kid gets handed a figure of a man in a business suit with a cell phone and he seems pleased as he cries out “He is the real Santa!” before departing. Santa’s attention then turns to the next kid, Colin (Colin Wells). He has the same design as the little boy who is used in quick-hitting segments where he comes out of his house to tell the audience a story about some kid named Randy Beemer which always ends with him saying, “K – bye.” Only here, the little kid is terrified and it’s because he’s seemingly the only one who knows that Santa is actually a chicken. The two moms, who are still lingering despite their kids running off, derisively ask the boy’s father “Isn’t he a little old to be afraid of Santa Claus?” The dad seems embarrassed by his son’s behaviour and encourages him to go see Santa, but the kid refuses. There’s a rising hysteria in his voice as he says “He’ll peck my eyes out!” which sounds great.

Chicken Boo has been outed.

The rest of the patrons in line laugh at the kid for thinking Santa is a chicken which doesn’t seem to phase his dad. The other moms remark the kid needs therapy, but the dad just takes him by the hand and leads him to Santa. I’m surprised at the gentle touch being employed by dad here as I was expecting him to get angry, grab the kid, and slam him on Santa’s lap. The kid basically goes willingly, but with some hesitation, and the dad reassures him once he’s seated on Santa’s knee that it’s just jolly old Saint Nick. The kid remarks, “More like jolly old Saint Chick,” and begins tugging on Santa’s beard. It doesn’t come off initially, but a more forceful second tug causes it to come free and the whole stage area basically collapses. When the boy pops his head out, so too does Chicken Boo. The boy screams, Chicken Boo (Welker) clucks a return scream, and the dad finally realizes that Santa was, indeed, a chicken.

I guess he can try putting those wings to work.

The dad grabs his kid and runs off while Chicken Boo emerges from the rubble and shakes off some of the holiday ornaments stuck to his leg. The manager of the store (Welker) then comes storming over while the children scream and demands to know what’s going on. The angry moms then storm off with their kids threatening to never come back to this store again leaving the manager to direct his anger towards Chicken Boo. He fires the chicken on the spot, and then takes a jab at Arkansas by suggesting they may let chickens play Santa down there, but they don’t up here in New York City. He then boots Chicken Boo like a placekicker would a football and he goes crashing through the ceiling of the store and soaring into the air.

He is one lucky clucker.

Because it’s Christmas, there’s someone flying high above to catch the soaring chicken: Santa Claus (Harnell)! Chicken Boo lands in his sleigh and the jolly old elf gives out a hearty laugh and informs Chicken Boo that since it’s Christmas, they’re going to give him a happy ending for a change. Some elves then emerge from Santa’s sack and start singing “Jingle Bells,” but they change the lyrics to better describe the present situation. They soar through the night sky and head for a full moon, and as the elves finish their “Jingle Boo” song, Chicken Boo looks at the camera and clucks before an iris shot signals the end.

If you like moon shots then this episode has you covered. I think this is our third one?

Our next segment is “The Great Wakkorotti: The Holiday Concert” and it’s Wakko just belching the melody to “Jingle Bells.” There’s not much to say about it, but my kids think it’s one of the funniest things they’ve ever seen. It’s followed by yet another “Good Idea/Bad Idea” and this time it’s finding Easter eggs on Easter compared with finding Easter eggs on Christmas. Then we get another short starring the Warners titled “Toy Shop Terror.” It’s a strictly visual short that’s also not really Christmas themed. The Warners don’t speak until the very end, but it’s basically them causing mischief in a toy shop after the old toy maker goes to sleep. They get into a chase sequence with a security robot, which they end up destroying and returning to the old man. It’s okay. Following that is one of Yakko’s song sequences, this one “Yakko’s Universe,” which had been used in a prior episode. They clearly had some time to fill and since it begins with a snowy scene it must have felt appropriate to toss it in.

The toy shop short is fine, just not very Christmassy.

Following that, the episode is over. It’s a bit interesting for a Christmas episode of Animaniacs because it starts out very centered on the holiday, and then it sort of just peters out. It’s a bit of a shame that the main cartoon, “‘Twas the Day Before Christmas,” wasn’t simply longer. It felt like there was more that could have been done with that one which may have allowed for some of the other stuff to get cut. Not that anything that follows is bad, it’s just not entirely onbrand with a Christmas episode. “Jingle Boo” is a solid edition of Chicken Boo so if you like that character you’ll probably enjoy it. I’m a sucker anytime a character that usually just has misery inflicted upon it gets a happy ending, sort of like Barney Rubble finally getting some Fruity Pebbles in the classic holiday commercial. The toy store sequence doesn’t do much for me and belching Wakko makes me feel ill to my stomach. The final segment is pleasant enough though and that line about being tiny specs the size of Mickey Rooney has been stuck in my head for almost 30 years now.

Animaniacs has its own style of humor, sort of a modernized golden age toon, and it either works for you or it does not. I’m mostly charmed by it, but I know some people just can’t get into it. If I had to pick one Christmas themed episode of the show to watch, I’d go with this one as it’s superior to yet another version of Dickens even if it’s less focused as a result. If you would like to check it out, Animaniacs has been made available on DVD over the years and I still see it in big box stores when I’m in them. The show used to be streaming on Hulu, but their agreement with Warner has since expired leaving Yakko, Wakko, and Dot without a streaming home at present. Hopefully, that won’t be forever.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 3 – Popeye the Sailor – “Mister and Mistletoe”

Last year for the Christmas Spot we took a look at the 1960’s TV series Popeye the Sailor and its Christmas episode “Spinach Greetings.” There are a lot of Popeye fans in the world and my assumption is that most would not put Popeye the Sailor above the theatrical shorts that helped catapult Popeye to…

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Dec. 3 – The Simpsons – “The Way of the Dog”

It’s not often I get to look at a Christmas special from the same year I’m doing The Christmas Spot, but it also helps when that Christmas special premieres in May of the same of year. May?! Yeah, it’s weird, but for the 31st season finale of The Simpsons the show rolled out a Christmas…

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Dec. 2 – Justice League – “Comfort and Joy”

Original air date December 13, 2003.

In 1995, Warner Bros felt it was a big enough entity that it could launch its own broadcast television network. Dubbed The WB, it would try to compete with the big four of ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox, but never really achieved that level of success which is why it no longer exists. The strategy seemed to be to go for a younger demographic with its prime time shows, similar to Fox, but even younger. Maybe they felt there was a market for the kids who had outgrown Nickelodeon and were searching for something else to watch. The American household had long since evolved past the one television per home model and kids basically had as much access to TV as adults so I suppose it made some sense. Warner never did leave the little kids behind entirely though as they also programmed afternoon and Saturday mornings tailored to children. Kids WB was definitely meant to challenge Fox Kids who had become the dominant brand for broadcast children’s programming behind the strength of shows like X-Men, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Spider-Man, Batman, and Animaniacs. The interesting part about Warner’s decision to launch its network when it did is that a lot of its intellectual property was tied-up in other places, like Fox. They basically had to run out the clock on the likes of Batman and Animaniacs until they could get those rights back which meant in the meantime turning to other characters like Superman and Tweety (seriously, Tweety was somewhat inexplicably popular in the mid 90s).

Eventually, Warner did get those rights back and Batman was able to join Superman on Kids WB with his old collection of episodes from the Fox days as well as some new ones. We’ve already talked about this pretty extensively in the Batman section of this blog, so we probably don’t need to dawdle any longer. That power hour of Superman and Batman would eventually give way to Batman Beyond as the continuation of what was becoming the DC Animated Universe. Bruce Timm, Paul Dini, Dan Riba, and other creators behind those shows would continue to flesh out their world. It seemed obvious to anybody keeping up that the end game was to collect all of these heroes in place for a new Justice League show. The problem with that strategy ended up coming from an unexpected place.

Something that has not aged well is the CG intro. The shoulders on these guys are absurd!

A little known cartoon outside the US called Pokémon made some headlines in the 90s due to it causing a bunch of kids in Japan to have seizures during an episode. It was basically just a peculiar story and I bet a great many folks who read it assumed they’d never hear about this show again. They would be wrong as the game would arrive in the US eventually and the show followed. While it didn’t make a huge splash at first, it would gradually rise in popularity until it became the ratings king of Saturday morning. And it was on the Kids WB Network. The success of Pokémon seemed to convince the powers that be at the network that the future lied in licensing Pokémon adjacent programming for their network essentially forcing out their homegrown stars. Those shows were costly to produce and the only revenue they saw from them was ad revenue. Luckily for fans of the DC shows, there was a new home waiting for them in Cartoon Network, which had found tremendous success on weekday afternoons with its action block Toonami. That network started airing reruns of Batman and they performed well enough that they were willing to make a deal with Warner for new content thus becoming the home of the Justice League.

Justice League premiered on November 17, 2001. It’s another animated series from Warner and DC developed by Bruce Timm with Butch Lukic and Dan Riba returning as directors. Stan Berkowitz and Rich Fogel are the credited head writers, but they received contributions from the likes of Dwayne McDuffie, Paul Dini, and a host of other writers. It would definitely seem that Dini was less involved with this show than past DC animated programs, but he is the writer of today’s episode “Comfort and Joy.” This is, obviously, a Christmas episode and it excludes Batman. Maybe because he already did two Christmas episodes? It’s the only episode of the series, which was one order of 52 episodes, that’s a stand-alone one. Every other episode is either a two-parter or more. The main team consists of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Hawkgirl, and Martian Manhunter. It’s not a show I ever watched so I’m banking on my familiarity with these characters from outside this show to help me through this one. And even so, I mainly know Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman and both Wonder Woman and Batman aren’t featured. I guess it’s time to get acquainted with Martian Manhunter!

It’s certainly a Christmassy setting.

The episode begins with Martian Manhunter (Carl Lumbly) standing in a snowy environment silently assuring some alien lifeform that they will save their world. Apparently, these aliens (who look like uglier versions of The Snorks) have entrusted the Justice League with some sort of gravitational device. I guess we’re not on Earth, even though the snowy area has evergreen trees on it, and the aliens that Martian Manhunter is communicating with are on a different planet. Superman (George Newbern) and Green Lantern (Phil LaMarr) are assembling the device which is rather massive and ugly looking. This show is digitally animated and the characters and backgrounds mostly look fine and can pass as cel-animated. The device, however, is rendered in 3D and just looks really bad. It’s the type of thing that probably looked bad even back then, but so many shows loved incorporating that sort of thing into their look.

These are the guys the Justice League are trying to save.

As the two super men do their part, we see Hawkgirl (Maria Canals-Barrera) delivering some rope and parts to The Flash (Michael Rosenbaum) who dashes about the assembled device and inserts what looks like circuit boards into a compartment. He indicates that J’onn (apparently Martian Manhunter’s real name, which just sounds like “John” but they had to make it annoying to type since he’s an alien, or whatever) is “beaming the directions” into his head as he goes along. When he’s done, he dashes over to the others who have assembled where J’onn has been standing and we see the device in action. The planet they’re on is some ice planet and it was going to collide with the planet those Snork guys are inhabiting. The device envelops the ice planet with some green beems and basically backs it off. It’s all done with some pretty bad CG. It worked though as the aliens cheer and Superman remarks that the ice planet will never threaten the other one again.

All in a day’s work, I guess.

Show’s over, right? No, because now we can get to Christmas! Flash indicates that this was the best way to start a holiday break, which apparently Green Lantern is no fan of? He immediately bails, I guess he can just fly through space, and Hawkgirl decides to join him. Flash asks J’onn what his plans are for the holidays and he responds, without a trace of emotion in his voice, that these times hold no special meaning for him. He then walks onto the device which apparently doubles as a spaceship, or the this is an unrelated spaceship. Flash remarks that his personality is rather “frosty” and then Superman, with a sly smile, indicates that they’ll have to do something to change that. And that’s our A plot – show Martian Manhunter the spirit of Christmas!

Real creative, GL.

That takes us into the usual opening credits and when they end we’re back on the ice planet. Green Lantern has created a green snowboard using his power ring and is blasting down the side of a mountain with glee. Hawkgirl is there to watch and when Green Lantern comes to a stop she remarks that she thinks it’s odd for a man who can fly through space to get so worked up by snow. Green Lantern tells her it reminds him of his grandmother and how he used to play in the snow as a kid. He offers a “See?” like he’s going to prove to her how awesome snow is and goes on to assemble a snowman with his ring. When Hawkgirl doesn’t heap praise upon him he flops to his back to show her another “secret” and makes a snow angel. He points out his “wings” and Hawkgirl is appropriately unimpressed. What is this? Are we to assume Hawkgirl has never seen snow before or the things that kids do with the snow? When she turns her back to him he nails her with a snowball and when she angrily asks what that was for, he responds with “It’s supposed to be fun.” Predictably, Hawkgirl returns the remark with a smile and uses her mace to conjure up a wave of snow herself and sends it in Green Lantern’s direction. They both then enthusiastically commence what is sure to be an epic snowball fight before we cut to another scene. That might be the worst thing Paul Dini has ever written.

You can’t have Christmas without orphans.

The next scene begins with an exterior shot of an orphanage. It would seem the structure of this episode is going to be “how each member of the Justice League (minus Batman and Wonder Woman) spends Christmas.” And for this one, it’s The Flash. Well, I suppose I ruined the surprise there as the scene begins with a woman (Kimberly Brooks) prepping a group of kids for the arrival of the man in the red suit. We’re probably supposed to think she means Santa, but The Flash comes zipping in to the delight of the kids. I was hoping they’d be bummed it wasn’t Santa, but I guess we’re playing things pretty straight. He mentions he’s there and he’s bringing gifts and questions what the kids want this year. They direct his attention to the TV where a commercial for a DJ Rubber Ducky is playing. It’s terrible, but likely intentionally so, as it’s a rapping duck who shakes his ass at the screen and makes farting noises. I can’t tell if they’re supposed to be farting noises or if they’re just a poor imitation of traditional, animated, duck noises that we see from the likes of Donald Duck or Quackers. Flash seems amused though and promises the kids he’ll get that for them while the woman cautions him about making a promise he can’t keep since the stores are apparently sold out. Flash is dismissive of her concerns setting up this plot for us as Flash needs to supply some orphans with a sought after Christmas toy. This is definitely going to be a low stakes episode.

He’s feeling just a bit out of place.

Next we check-in with Superman and Martian Manhunter. Superman has apparently decided to take his green buddy back home to the farm for a good old-fashioned Christmas. Hey, if it worked for Garfield then it can work for the Manhunter. J’onn is unsure of his presence here, but Clark insists he wasn’t leaving him alone at the Watchtower, which I assume is their headquarters. We also get our one mention of Batman as Clark remarks that he insisted on monitor duty tonight. When they enter the house we’re introduced to Martha (Shelley Fabares) and Jonathan Kent (Mike Farrell) who welcome their son in. Clark tells them he brought a friend, and J’onn introduces himself and lets them know that their son insisted on his coming. He also introduces himself as a martian which naturally doesn’t phase the Kent parents and they welcome him into their home. Once inside, Clark asks where Kara (aka Supergirl) is and we’re informed she’s skiing with Barbara (Batgirl) and won’t be home until New Years. Clark remarks that J’onn can stay in her room then we cut to the big man entering a very, girly, looking bedroom. He indicates to Clark that it’s a bit strange seeing this side of him, but Clark just lets him know that’s because here he can be himself and relax. We then hear his dad call out from the other room that he’s lighting the tree causing Clark to bolt out of the room like a child crying out “That’s my job!” Left alone, J’onn takes a seat on the bed and seems a little sad. A cat saunters in and we actually see the green guy smile and call out “kitty,” but he just gets a hiss in return which seems to wound him more than a scratch would have.

That’s better, much more creative this time around.

We next check in on the snow fight (yay). Green Lantern has magicked up a trio of glowing, green, catapults which sling a volley of massive snow balls in Hawkgirl’s direction. She maneuvers around them through the air and smashes her mace into the ground sending a shockwave in Green Lantern’s direction. He takes a direct hit which knocks him into a tree causing a mass of snow to fall from its branches and bury him. Hawkgirl lands with a cocky grin on her face that soon fades when a dozen, green, hands emerge from the snow all brandishing a snowball. They fire off an assortment of snowballs in her direction causing her to give up. Immediately after her concession a snowball hits her square in the face to add insult to injury. Green Lantern then emerges from the snow to inquire if she’s feeling more festive now. She indicates she’s not and that she just doesn’t get the holidays on Earth. She mentions that on her home world (okay, so she is an alien which makes the last scene slightly less ridiculous) they had a different sort of celebration and that she’s only encountered one other like it on another planet. She apparently can’t get home, but she could get to this other world and Green Lantern seems game. It sounds like we’re going to see an otherworldly holiday when we next check-in with this pair.

Is Flash going to meet Santa?!

Back on Earth, Flash is shown running through traffic pausing for a moment to wave to a little kid riding in a car. He whirls past a Santa on the corner and deposits a dollar into his collection box and helps himself to a candy cane. His ultimate destination though is a toy store which is surrounded by a mob of angry folks. When Flash gets there, one man urges him to do something and accuses the store owner of hoarding this DJ Rubber Ducky toy, but he insists he’s completely sold out as he tries to hold the doors closed. The crowd disperses and we’re shown Flash race from store-to-store and all have a “Sold Out” sign posted regarding the toy. Flash then grumbles how dealing with Gorilla Grodd was easier than finding this thing, but takes notice of a store display featuring Santa’s workshop. He then remarks that’s his solution – to go straight to the source! Is Flash going to visit Santa? No, apparently not. He heads to a factory in China where the toy is made and we see him walking out with the factory’s last DJ Rubber Ducky. A Mr. Hama (Robert Ito) tells him that they’re happy to pass on the last unit to someone like The Flash and we see that this silly toy is freaking huge! It’s basically the size of Flash’s torso.

“You drink from the skull of your holiday idol?”

Next we return to the home of the Kents to see how Martian Manhunter is doing. The family is gathered at the kitchen table and the Kents are telling stories about young Clark at Christmas. Jonathan remarks that they used to have to wrap his presents with lead foil so he couldn’t peek and Clark rather sternly remarks, “You mean Santa wrapped my presents,” and the Kents just go along with that. Meanwhile, Martian Manhunter looks a touch confused and looks down to the steaming mug in his hand which bares the visage of Santa Claus. Martha then informs J’onn that anyone who attends Christmas at their home leaves with a present and she hands over a box to J’onn. He seems surprised, and conjures his inner little drummer boy by pointing out that he brought no gift in return. Martha insists though and J’onn opens his gift to find it contains a rather nice looking sweater, not an ugly Christmas sweater. She says she hopes it fits as he slips it on, over his cape I might add, and then tells her not to worry as he smiles and expands his body to fill the sweater. It’s actually pretty absurd that the sweater was too big in the first place since this guy is a massive man, or rather, a massive martian.

Sometimes you want to go…

We cut to a billboard of a scantily clad woman on a foreign world. I’m guessing Bruce Timm is responsible for this shot. This is the planet Hawkgirl was talking about and we spy she and Green Lantern descending to ground level. Despite that billboard containing a shot of a human looking woman, the streets are largely filled with inhumanoid aliens including one that’s just a big snake scooting about. Green Lantern asks if this is the place she goes to relax and Hawkgirl responds with a no, this is the place she heads to for fun! She leads him to a sleazy looking nightclub and the two make their way to the bar. She orders a pair of drinks that just look like frothy milk in a beer stein. She chugs one and lets out a loud belch when done remarking it’s delicious and slides the other one over to Green Lantern. He gives it a try and promptly spits it out. When he looks at the drink he spies two worms floating in it. I suppose it makes sense that a hawk girl would enjoy such a delicacy. She then turns to him and the background audio drops as she remarks only one more thing is needed to make this evening better. Green Lantern says “Yeah?” and he seems to think she’s looking for a kiss only for her to whirl around and smash this gigantic alien seated at the bar with her mace. She quickly hands the mace to Green Lantern while the monster rages and when he turns to her she gestures to Green Lantern indicating to the creature that he is the one responsible for the pain in his hand. The monster pounces on him and the two roll around the floor. A pair of aliens look at the brawl and then smile at each other before one blasts the other in the face with its mug. This sets off a bar-wide brawl leaving Hawkgirl to sip her drink with a contented smile upon her face. I thought this was the sort of carnage heroes were supposed to prevent, not start.

Finally! Some action!

We find The Flash racing towards Central City duck-in-hand. Upon arrival though he encounters an explosion at a museum and heads over there to survey the damage. As he walks inside he sets the duck down and wonders who would blow up a bunch of priceless artwork? His answer is Ultra-Humanite (Ian Buchanan), a big man-ape in suspenders with a huge cranium indicating he’s rather intelligent, though lacks fashion sense. He apparently finds the use of public money to fund art offensive so he decided to blow it up – makes sense. He’s also armed with a laser gun and starts firing off at Flash who manages to avoid it. He ends up under a suspended sculpture that the villain blasts from the ceiling and it falls on him. He even looks up to see it, but still gets nailed. I thought this guy was fast? Ultra-Humanite then approaches eager to finish him off, but he takes too long for when he blasts he finds no Flash. Worse, his gun won’t even fire as Flash brandishes the giant battery he yanked from it when he ran by and taunts him by suggesting he should have asked Santa for some more. This enrages Ultra-Humanite, but Flash just pummels him. The shot is from behind Ultra-Humanite so we don’t actually see his fists land, but it’s more than implied. Unfortunately though, he lands right on old DJ Rubber Ducky.

No! Not DJ Rubber Ducky!

Flash hears the crack and knows what happened immediately. When Ultra-Humanite gets up to reveal the broken toy, Flash runs over to, I guess, check on it. Ultra-Humanite doesn’t care and just casually strolls away remarking how it’s just plastic and crude electronics. Flash tries to appeal to him by asking him if he can recall having his hopes and dreams dashed when he doesn’t get what he wanted most and Ultra-Humanite just remarks it happens quite frequently and the Justice League are usually the ones responsible. He thinks the kids would be better off with a book, and he’s probably not wrong, though impractical. Flash is pretty heartbroken and as Ultra-Humanite reloads he even suggest he can go ahead and use that gun on him since he couldn’t possibly feel any worse than he already does. When he said this, his back was towards the villain and Ultra-Humanite is happy to oblige! As Flash turns his head he gets smashed in the face with the butt of the gun.

This is an unexpected development.

Flash is then shown waking up from his concussion laying on the floor. He’s in a lab, or work shop, of some kind and as he rubs his head he sits up and finds Ultra-Humanite at a work bench fixing the duck. Ultra-Humanite tells Flash that his words did not fall on deaf ears and in the spirit of the holiday he proposes a truce. Flash is confused, but seemingly accepts the truce by shaking the hand of the man-ape. He’s then told by Ultra-Humanite that he is repairing the toy while also making some improvements. Flash asks him if he’s rigging it with explosives and Ultra-Humanite rather sternly says “Flash, it is Christmas!” Flash then counters with the question we’re likely all wondering, “Then why did you hit me?” “You hit me first.” Okay, seems fair. He then asks Flash to hand him a screwdriver and I guess we’re just all going to forget about that whole blowing up the museum thing?

They always wind up at a church.

We return to Martian Manhunter who has apparently ditched that nice sweater gifted to him by the Kents. He’s just staring out the window, but then goes intangible and passes through the floor. From there he spies the Kents doing the dishes and making out a bit in the process. It’s an odd kink, but we don’t kink shame here. He then moves onto the living room where Clark is placing gifts under the tree. He picks one up and remarks, “Lead,” so he’s not placing gifts, but peeking! Good thing you have a lot of good will built up with Santa, Clark! J’onn then moves outside and into town where he returns to a solid state and transforms his appearance to that of a human. He then sees a couple walking down the sidewalk who wish him a “Merry Christmas,” and he returns the gesture with a polite wave. He observes them head into a diner and then moves on. J’onn finds himself outside a home and he can hear a young girl inside assuring a “Tommy” that Santa is real and she just knows he’ll come and eat the cookies she left out. This seems to stir something in J’onn who smiles a bit. He drops his disguise and flies up onto the roof, the sound of which wakes the little girl up with a start. We see the cookies and milk left out, and J’onn’s hand pops out of the fireplace to snatch one of the cookies. We next find J’onn outside a church and we can hear singing from within. He’s just standing outside in the snow back in his normal, green, appearance listening to the hymn which is “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.” When the verse ends with “The world in solemn stillness lay to hear the angels sing,” he almost winces and perhaps a look of understanding crosses his face.

This is going well.

Back at the brawl, Green Lantern is still tangling with the big guy while Hawkgirl is now involved smacking around some poor fools of her own. The whole place is in chaos and Hawkgirl is quick to point out that this is way better than a snowball fight! Green Lantern agrees, but I’m detecting some sarcasm here, as he blasts the big monster man away with his ring. He then conjures up a green boot to kick an alien off of Hawkgirl and goes to help her up, only for her to call out “Don’t let your guard down!” He turns and finds the monster has returned and he knocks him into Hawkgirl.

You know what, I like it.

We somewhat abruptly cut back to the orphanage and Flash and Ultra-Humanite’s silhouettes appear on the door as they approach the building. They’re arguing about Ultra-Humanite wearing a costume and Flash points out that he put on the beard and also suggests that the big gorilla guy wouldn’t want to scare the kids, would he? We can tell he’s trying to place a top hat on him, and I’m guessing it’s a Frosty look. Flash then enters the room and declares himself Santa Flash! The prior shot made it look like they were at the entrance to the orphanage from outside, but the entrance shot makes it seem like they were already in the orphanage. I’m guess it’s just an error. Flash is sporting the hat and beard, but that red suit of his could really use some padding. He’s greeted with cheers and then goes on to introduce his helper: Freaky the Snowman! Ultra-Humanite enters to no reaction from the children. He’s clad all in white and sporting the top hat and deadpan expression. He rather curtly instructs Flash to give them the toy and then take him to jail, so I guess we aren’t just going to forget about the arson from earlier.

Time for a Christmas rave!

Flash once more seeks to confirm that it won’t explode and Ultra-Humanite seems offended by the suggestion. He places the toy on the floor himself and turns it on. The kids are then surprised to hear the voice of Ultra-Humanite come from the toy duck as it beckons them to come closer and hear a story. It’s going to tell them the tale of The Nutcracker and Ultra-Humanite rather smugly mentions to Flash how he improved upon the original. Flash doesn’t seem convinced and remarks he preferred the “poopy noises.” He then notices the kids all sitting around the duck with smiles on their faces. They may not have received the duck they thought they were getting, but they seem content with this one. Flash then smiles and agrees that this present is good too. We then fade out to see Ultra-Humanite being lead into prison by two guards. As he enters his cell he remarks “Haven’t I seen enough of you for one night?” He’s speaking to Flash, who was waiting for him. He setup a little Christmas tree in the big guy’s cell and tells him he thought he could use a little Christmas cheer. Ultra-Humanite approaches and observes that it’s an aluminum tree. Flash basically starts to apologize for being corny and all, but Ultra-Humanite stops him by saying he had one just like it as…though he trails off a bit. Flash leaves him to his tree and once out of the cell Ultra-Humanite turns on a floor lamp that projects Christmas lights all throughout the cell. He sits on the bench and a hint of a smile seems to cross his face as Flash looks on with a more obvious smile from outside the cell.

It’s an unconventional relationship, but this is a no judgement zone.

We return to the D plot of the episode where the bar brawl has apparently come to an end. The place is trashed and there’s one, lone, janitor uselessly sweeping the floor which is littered with numerous unconscious bodies. The camera pans over to find Green Lantern and Hawkgirl in a seated position with the big monster guy. His arm is draped around the two of them and it would appear they’re enjoying a post brawl cuddle session. Green Lantern and the monster guy are unconscious, but Hawkgirl isn’t. She’s sporting a very contented smile and plants a kiss on Green Lantern’s cheek and says, “Merry Christmas, John.” Too many John or John sounding names in this show. That’s apparently the end of this one though as she basically returns to the cuddles.

Martha seems to be a little freaked out by J’onn’s singing, but is trying to put on a nice face.

At the home of the Kents, it’s still dark. We find Clark asleep in his bed, but his eyes soon pop open and a smile crosses his face. He hops out of bed and puts on his robe apparently intent on heading for the tree on Christmas morning. He opens his bedroom door and we can see from the window that the sun is just starting to rise, so the tree is fair game at this point. As he walks into the hall he finds both of his parents standing there with smiles on their faces outside the bedroom door where J’onn is staying. We can hear singing coming from within the room, and the melody is similar to “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” but the words are unintelligible as he’s apparently singing in his native tongue. Clark places a hand on the shoulder of each parent and remarks “And he said he didn’t bring a gift,” so I guess they’re enjoying the song. We then cut to inside the bedroom and J’onn is seated by the window, naked, stroking the cat. He’s in a more alien form than usual and I suppose the takeaway is that he found the Christmas spirit and apparently the cat did too. We get one last exterior shot of the Kent home before the credits roll.

Petting a cat with no pants on is definitely a bold move.

The premise of “Comfort and Joy” makes a lot of sense for this show. If you’re going to do a Christmas episode about a superhero team it would seem the approach is to either have some big, Christmas, mess or just try to show what the holidays mean to each hero. It’s a bit odd to completely exclude Wonder Woman (Batman is essentially excused by Clark and we’re left to assume that Christmas Eve is just another work day for grumpy Bruce, or an act of selflessness on his part since he doesn’t have a family to spend Christmas with), but that’s the issue with superhero teams: it can be hard to find room for everybody. And on the surface, the approach makes sense. For Flash, we just see how he solves a problem that arises from the mere existence of Christmas. For Hawkgirl, she’s from another world and needs to find a way to relate to Christmas and also wishes to share her interpretation of a holiday with her apparent lover. And for Martian Manhunter, who seems to be mostly devoid of emotion, he really has nothing in his past to allow him to relate or identify with the holiday so Clark takes it upon himself to bridge that gap.

This guy is the show-stealer for me. His motivation to educate the children with finer points is both clever and amusing.

The problem lies in the execution. This episode really wants to be profound. It wants to be a feel good story and also likely seeks to ask the audience what Christmas means to them. It’s just overly simplistic with the approach that leaves little room for a genuine emotional response. The first half of the episode is pretty dreadful. I hated that initial scene between Hawkgirl and Green Lantern and honestly their plot never landed for me. There were no stakes and nothing about the resolution was all that fun or interesting. The plot with Flash had some stakes, albeit they weren’t exactly important. I mean, I want orphans to have a nice Christmas and all, but the material possessions aren’t that important. At the same time, I do appreciate it not completely dismissing the material component as we all know kids want to wake up on Christmas morning to find that toy they want. And if it doesn’t happen, they’re going to be pretty bummed. Still, it found its footing once Ultra-Humanite was introduced via the humor he injected into the story. I liked his deadpan delivery and he’s a well-written character in a very literal sense as his words and delivery are quite entertaining. The resolution was corny, as Flash pointed out, but what Christmas episode isn’t?

Hey look, he gets it!

With the Martian Manhunter plot, Dini was really trying to hit a home run, but he only managed a bloop single. There’s some good character animation with Manhunter via his reactions to what is around him and his struggle to find something in the holiday he can relate to is interesting on the surface. I enjoyed the small bits of humor sprinkled into the story via Clark and his attitudes towards Christmas. I love that Superman believes in Santa and he’s very serious about it and his regression to a more childlike state is handled well and not overdone. Manhunter finding some meaning in the song he hears from outside the church feels forced. It’s like Dini was trying to find a unique way for J’onn to find the Christmas spirit, but the manner in which he settled on is just an empty one. The climax of that plot just doesn’t do it for me. I’m not a talented enough writer to offer a suggestion on how to better craft the climax, I just know it doesn’t land for me. And as someone who consumes and enjoys consuming a lot of cheesy Christmas stuff, it’s not hard to move me with such a tale, but I got nothing out of this one. Sorry, J’onn.

If you like your superhero shows to possess some realism and a serious approach, then I suppose this is still worth giving a look since there really aren’t a lot like it. The Christmas episodes for Batman and The New Batman Adventures aren’t particularly strong either, but they are more fun. I would much prefer those to this one, but maybe you’re a Superman or Martian Manhunter fan more than you are a Batman one. If you want to watch it, it’s presently streaming on the Max platform despite threats of removal earlier this year. If this is after 2023 that you’re reading this, then who knows if it’s still there (or if Max is even still alive)? It’s also still available to rent or buy digitally from places like Amazon. The show was released on DVD and they were still reasonably priced at the time of this writing, but if the show were to get delisted, it wouldn’t shock me if aftermarket prices started to rise. I think such an approach is only merited by those who want to take-in the full series as dropping some coin for the full 52 episodes just to experience this one is probably not worth it.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 2 – Toy Story That Time Forgot

When the credits started to roll in 2010 signaling the end of Toy Story 3 I think most who were watching it assumed this was “good bye.” The toys which had captured the hearts of movie-goers going on two decades were saying good bye to their former owner and playmate, Andy, and so too were…

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NECA TMNT Toon Turtle Van

It’s finally here!

It’s our last Turtle Tuesday before Christmas, though probably not of the year, and it’s a pretty big one: The Turtle Van! NECA solicited its version of the Turtle Van based on the same from the animated series Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in April of 2022. It was originally scheduled to be released before the end of the year, but that turned out to be far too optimistic. The vehicle did undergo a redesign between solicitation and release. Originally, it was going to have a big hump in the roof that most didn’t seem to care for (including me). To NECA’s credit, they listened and adjusted the design and the finished product looks much closer to the show than the prototype. Did that redesign account for the lengthy delay? Maybe, maybe not, I don’t know. All I know is that the Turtle Van is here and I’m going to tell you how I think it turned out.

The Turtle Van was one of my favorite toys back in the day. Of course, then it was referred to as The Party Wagon by Playmates, but I don’t think any of my friends referred to it as such because on TV they called it the Turtle Van. Like a lot of characters and playsets in the vintage line, the toy wasn’t modeled to look exactly like the one on TV. The Party Wagon was pretty close, but had more of a VW bus design to it. I still loved it, and the Christmas it came out it was a very hot item. I have an old home movie from Easter the following year where my grandmother can be overheard saying how impossible it was to find the Turtle Van at Christmas, which is why I received it as an Easter present (don’t weep for me, I got the sewer lair from her for Christmas). It was a big deal to a kid, right up there with the Ecto-1 and the Batmobile. It was hard to have an assortment of TMNT action figures and no Turtle Van. The thing was a necessity.

Ready to launch.

As an adult, vehicles for my action figures have limited appeal. I’m no longer a kid looking to actually play with my toys, so everything is purchased for posing and display. Vehicles rarely offer much in the posing department and they often take up a lot of real estate and come at a much larger price tag. This item was $250 plus $15 shipping since it was sold exclusively on NECA’s webstore, and for me, that price was basically right at the tipping point. I was hoping for $200 and assumed that wishing for less than that was a waste of time and $250 was about the most I was willing to pay. At the same time, I felt like I owed it to the kid in me who always wanted a Turtle Van that resembled the one from the cartoon to get this, and NECA’s seemed sure to deliver.

The Turtle Van comes in a giant box adorned with original artwork by Tim Lattie. The box itself measures 13″ x 17.25″ x 11.75″ and inside is a big clamshell held together by some tape. The van comes almost fully assembled, only the laser canons need to be inserted into the top, and there are no decals required. The van is approximately 7″ x 14″ x 11″ at the highest/widest points (excepting the canons). It’s a big vehicle and it will take up quite a bit of space wherever you plan to place it. The body is a matte, pale, yellow with a green bumper and roof. The tires are rubber with the inner rim a flat gray. All of the paint details in the bumper, on the tire cover on the front, and the roof look great. They are applied very well. The only paint imperfection I could find on mine is a tiny nick on the corner of the rear door. The windshield is transparent plastic or plexiglass as are the windows. The lights on the front and rear are LED lights which can be activated via a switch on the underside of the vehicle. There’s a dome light on the inside that sadly does not turn on as well. It very much looks the part and I really like how it turned out. The only critique I have is that the scale seems a touch off. It’s probably bigger than it should be and that seems most obvious when figures are placed in the front, bench, seat as they get kind of lost in this thing. I’m guessing the scale of the vehicle in the show wasn’t the most consistent, and it’s better to be too big than too small, but it is something I’ve noticed.

The Turtle Van has numerous features to it which help replicate how the vehicle behaves on TV. The roof opens up just like it did in the opening, though there’s nothing inside to launch them out. The interior has a bunch of generic electronics built into the walls so you can have Donatello messing around with stuff in there, though there aren’t any working levers or anything that intense. The driver’s side flips down to reveal a platform as it did on the show for Leonardo to take a stance and slice at some enemies. The opposite side swings open with a little half door below it that flips down similar to the Playmates version. For that side, there’s an included seat and laser canon that has to be snapped together, but then can be plugged in. By making it removable, it creates more space inside and I honestly can’t remember how often the turret showed up in the show after its first appearance. Sometimes, a collapsed version appears on the wall and NECA included what’s basically a plastic brick of the same which snaps onto the driver’s side platform.

Speaking of show inconsistencies, the wall behind the front seat seemed to change constantly. Sometimes it was wide open which is the default look for the Turtle Van. Other times, there was a brown hip wall which NECA included which can be plugged into the back of the bench seat. And then on other occasions there was basically a full wall which, for some reason, featured a ladder. I remember seeing that ladder as a kid and wondering where the heck it came from. I think there was, on occasion, an opening in the top for the turtles to emerge from, but my memory could very easily be faulty at this point. Nonetheless, the ladder wall is also included so you can have the Turtle Van resemble basically whatever version shown on TV that you want. It’s the type of attention to detail that I think collectors appreciate of a company like NECA and it’s something other companies just don’t seem to care about.

This thing is big!

In order to make use of these modular elements, NECA needed to make sure the inside of the van is accessible. We have the openings on the sides of the vehicle and the top and also the rear doors swing open too. The front of the roof can be removed as it’s just tabbed in and you’ll may need to do so in order to insert the optional wall parts. This is where some criticism can come in. The plastic feels a bit thin when it comes to the roof and removing that portion is definitely uncomfortable. The front doors, as well as the passenger side swing-open door for the canon, are attached via a lone, small, hinge each. It’s not the most reassuring design and I worry about displaying a figure behind the turret for a long time and what kind of stress that may place on said hinge. The driver’s side platform feels more secure, though the hinge could have been tighter as it basically needs to hit the surface of whatever you have the van on to support the weight of a figure when really it should be off the ground. The rear doors feel more secure, though are a tad finicky to get closed properly. The weight of the entire package feels fine though so this isn’t a cheap feeling product by any means, but there are some design decisions that aren’t as well thought out as I’d like. I would describe this as fragile, and if there’s one last thing I wouldn’t have minded to see included would have been some kind of stand to prevent accidental rolling of the wheels. A shelf drive would likely be catastrophic for this thing so plan accordingly.

NECA’s take on the Turtle Van easily qualifies as the definitive take on the vehicle from the show. It looks great, displays well, and even has some variety too in how it’s displayed. It may be a touch oversized, but at least that means you can fit a whole bunch of characters in it/on it which helps justify the amount of shelf space needed to display it. The only real bummer about the product is that it was pretty expensive and presently is not available to purchase at MSRP for those who wanted to wait and see how it turned out. I especially feel for anyone who disliked the hump in the original design, only to see NECA correct that after the preorder window had closed. Chances are, NECA will offer this again for purchase and it was even suggested by NECA that they may have extra after preorders are fulfilled. I guess keep your eyes open. At $250 (plus shipping), this thing is certainly in the luxury good category. No one needs it and your display of TMNT characters probably looks great without it, but there’s no denying it can also look pretty damn awesome with it.

Damn, this collection just got a lot bigger!

Well, if you want a Turtle Van, you’re going to need some figures to go with it:

NECA TMNT Turtles in Disguise

When NECA started on this journey into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon it first began with a video game. An adaptation of a video game, to be more precise. The 2016 San Diego Comic Con exclusive contained a four pack of the famous, green, pizza destroyers in a pixel deco. They were the first…

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NECA TMNT Toon “Mutant Interest Story” – Deluxe April O’Neil

Whenever I approach my rankings for NECA’s now long-running action figure series based on the 1987 cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I don’t always just pick the objectively best or worst toy in the line to slot them into the rankings. It’s a combination of the figure’s quality and the character’s importance. A great figure…

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NECA TMNT Toon “Colossus of the Swamps!” Deluxe Napoleon Bonafrog

NECA’s line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures based on the animated series which debuted in 1987 has had some big figures. Most of these are what NECA terms “deluxe” releases and have included the likes of Krang in his android body, Chrome Dome, and the more recently released REX-1. The latest addition to…

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Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Bishop

He comes from the future with a warning.

We’re going to keep this Marvel/Mutant Monday thing going for one more week! After taking a look at a trio of figures from Hasbro’s new X-Men ’97 line of figures in its Marvel Legends catalog I’ve decided to do one more: Bishop. The first three figures I looked at were basically all missing pieces to the VHS line Hasbro did last year for X-Men, the animated series which aired on Fox in the 90s. Bishop wasn’t featured in that line either despite being the most frequent guest star in the series so it would stand to reason that I’d be interested in adding him as well. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your view, Bishop’s character received a redesign for the new show. It’s not incredibly drastic, but it removed his most mighty possession: his fabulous mullet.

Yes, Bishop decided to ditch the 80s haircut he had (despite being a guy from the future – maybe the mullet makes a comeback?) for something a bit more modern. He now sports a closely cropped head of hair, but largely maintains his look outside of that. He’s still sporting the yellow and blue, still has that kerchief about his neck, and also carries a big gun. Well, more on that last part later. Still, for someone like me who just wants to assemble the team from the show I grew up watching, it seemed like this was a figure I could skip. Then I saw him in a store, then I saw him again, and eventually I caved and bought the thing. I just like how it looks! Something about that yellow and blue will always appeal to me, but beyond that the figure looks better than a typical Legends release. It’s more in-line with how I would personally design the line if asked to so let’s dive into this one so I can explain what it is about Bishop that made me want to take him home.

He’s a bit bigger than your “Vulcan” body figures, but smaller than some of the villains presented in an oversized fashion. And yes, that is a custom Morph head.

Bishop stands at right around the 7″ mark making him the tallest figure in his wave. He’s composed mostly of blue and brown plastic with some yellow where it makes sense. His belt and the cuffs around his shoulders are soft, yellow, plastic keyed into the figure and secured with glue. The ends of his sleeves also appear to be yellow strips of plastic glued into place. The only paint needed on this figure was the yellow and black stripe down the body, the red and black X logo on the belt, and the details on his face. And perhaps to no one’s surprise, the painted areas are the weakest part of the figure and it’s mainly just that yellow stripe that runs the length of his body. All of the figures I found on the pegs had some issue with that part of the figure, either messy application or a chipped spot and I settled on the one that bothered me the least. The yellow isn’t as saturated as it needs to be so some blue shows through while the black line running down it gets messy in places. The easiest way for Hasbro to have prevented that would have been to cast the figure in yellow and paint on the blue and black, but Hasbro really doesn’t want to use that much paint so this is what we got.

I really like how the torso has a lot of mass to it.

Aside from that, I really like the presentation on this figure. I don’t have any other Bishop figures (I never even got the Toy Biz Marvel Legends one), but I believe most of what is presented here is new. He has a much sturdier build than most Legends figures I’ve encountered. His shoulders are broad, his chest has a lot of mass, and his proportions look great. I do think the cuffs at the shoulders help to minimize that low shoulder look a lot of Legends have and they also make the shoulders appear bigger. I’m guessing if I cut those off I’d be less impressed, but since they’re present I have to give the figure its do. I also really like the matte finish this thing has. It’s on the blue portions as well as the skin and it’s just really, really nice. There’s a temptation to seek out an older Bishop head that would better match the character I know, but I doubt any head I found, custom or official, would have the same finish. It means I’ll probably just have to get used to short haired Bishop, unless someone wants to sell custom pieces of hair since it appears to be a separate piece that’s glued down.

The gun is small and gummy, but it appears to look like the one from the show. At least the muzzle does.

The accessories for Bishop are like the other figures in the wave – terrible. It’s basically bare minimum type stuff here as Bishop has a set of trigger hands, a right fist, and a left gripping hand. I’m not sure why we need the gripping hand and trigger hand, I’d have preferred two fists, but either way the accessory count is too low. Bishop also has his gun which looks a lot like the one from the original show. It’s pretty small though and I wish it had more size to it. Maybe it’s accurate to the new show – I don’t know. In the 92 series, his gun wasn’t very consistent and there are some shots where it looks puny, but I would say it’s supposed to be on the bigger side. He has a holster behind his left shoulder that it slots into fine and the sculpt is solid on the weapon. It’s cast in gray plastic and unpainted so it’s certainly not flashy. There’s nothing else in the box though – no effect parts, no alternate head, no nothing. It’s Hasbro doing the bare minimum at a not bare minimum price point.

“I’ve still got my eye on your, cajun!”

Assuming much of what’s here is new, Bishop should articulate fairly well. Or at least as well as a burly fellow like him can. The head is on a double ball peg and it’s just okay. He looks down enough and the rotation is obviously fine, but looking up is severely limited. That’s because Hasbro just buries the lower part of the peg in the neck and doesn’t allow for as much range as it could. The shoulders are just hinged ball pegs and they rotate and can go out to the side to a horizontal position. The biceps swivel is fine and the double-jointed elbows bend past 90 without much fuss. The wrists swivel and the trigger hands have vertical hinges, the rest horizontal. In the torso is an ab crunch that’s pretty “clicky.” It basically has three positions: neutral, forward, and back. Going back just makes his belly stick out and he looks pretty silly, going forward is fine, but it’s not a great joint. The waist twist is a peg twist. The hips go out to the side well past 45 degrees though not to full splits. He kicks forward about 90 degrees, but doesn’t kick back very far. There is a thigh cut and a boot cut, though the thigh cut breaks up not just the striping down the left side of the figure, but also the sculpted pouches on the thighs so it’s a pretty useless joint. The knees will go past 90 degrees, and are on the tight side. The ankles hinge forward and back a good amount while also pivoting just fine.

“For the future!”

The articulation for Bishop is probably acceptable given he’s a big dude with a gun, he’s not here to do high kicks and such. My only real complaints are with how they did the joint at the head since he should have more function up there if they just did it right. I’m also kind of tired of these Legends figures with useless thigh cuts that break up the costume in unnatural ways because who is going to pose their figures in such a way? Put the rotation at the ball joint and it will look so much better. The torso also sucks and I’d like to see Hasbro ditch these ugly ab crunches in favor of double ball pegs in the abdomen. That will let the figure bend forward and back, especially if paired with a ball joint at the waist, while also providing tilt and rotation. It’s not something that’s really any more expensive to produce compared with what we have, it’s more a matter of changing over the infrastructure that’s the real cost. They’ve been doing it with pin-less joints for years now, a figure of mostly new tools like Bishop would have been a great place to incorporate more advances.

It’s not the Bishop I want, but he does look pretty nice.

The criticisms I have for this representation of Bishop are basically criticisms directed at Marvel Legends in general. For a Legends release, I think this Bishop is pretty damn good and it largely just comes down to the finish and proportioning. He’s supposed to big a big, burly, man and he is. He has the mass to his chest that so many figures lack. Just look at a figure like the well-received VHS Cyclops or the new Magneto from the side – there’s so little mass they’re almost flat. That’s not the case with Bishop and he looks a lot better than most figures as a result. He looks so good that I bought him when I had no intention of doing so. I probably could have waited for a clearance sale, but didn’t want to chance it. Now watch them re-release the figure with a ’92 inspired head (you know they will) so I can kick myself for giving Hasbro money in the first place.

If you’re interested in X-Men ’97 here are my other reviews on the line:

Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Gambit

Everyone can relax – Gambit has returned. Or arrived, since I’ve never reviewed a Gambit action figure in this space, but that’s because I haven’t bought a Gambit figure in about 20 years until now. When X-Men arrived on airwaves in the fall of 1992, hardly anyone on that team could be considered a true…

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Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Rogue

Previously, on X-Men reviews we looked at Magneto from the upcoming series X-Men ’97. The animated series may have been delayed into 2024, but the action figures from Hasbro are already here. And if you were collecting Hasbro’s line of figures based on the animated series from the 90s, this new line offers a chance…

Keep reading

Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Magneto

It was two years ago that Hasbro made the announcement that it was wading into the weeds of X-Men, the cartoon series that aired on the Fox Kids Network from 1992-1997. The line was released across eight installments in 2022 (plus a ninth if you include the obviously animated-inspired Apocalypse released on a retro card)…

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Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Gambit

Gambit has arrived.

Everyone can relax – Gambit has returned. Or arrived, since I’ve never reviewed a Gambit action figure in this space, but that’s because I haven’t bought a Gambit figure in about 20 years until now. When X-Men arrived on airwaves in the fall of 1992, hardly anyone on that team could be considered a true household name. Wolverine was certainly the closest. He was featured in a lot of Marvel related ads and had his own solo comic series as well. Other characters showed up as guests on Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends or in the pilot for the never was series, “Pryde of the X-Men” and the arcade game essentially based on it. My own familiarity with the team was mostly from the first run of ToyBiz action figures featuring Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, Nightcrawler, Archangel, and Colossus.

Gambit was not featured in any of those things. For me as a kid in ’92, the first episode of the cartoon series was my introduction to the character and I don’t think I was a unique case. Gambit was the break-out star of the series, as far as I’m concerned. He was essentially designed to be cool. He’s probably over-designed, but somehow Marvel pulled it off. He looks ridiculous, and yet come 1993 that’s who I wanted to be for Halloween. I think it’s the trench coat that brings a lot of that “it” factor upfront and the way his face is framed with that unusual hood he wears and red eyes which adds a mysterious component. I remember thinking his gloves were cool, and for some reason exploding playing cards just struck me as bad ass. All of that allowed him to pull off the hot pink undershirt and that weird, blue, thing he wears around his neck area.

This figure should be pretty familiar to more dedicated Legends collectors.

Following the debut of X-Men, most of my peers would cite either Wolverine or Gambit as their favorite character. That’s just how it was. ToyBiz hit stores with Series 2 of its X-Men line around the same time and Tiger Stripe Wolverine (or Wolverine II) and Gambit were the two hardest to find. Maybe the character’s popularity has faded over the years, but I was surprised that Gambit wasn’t featured in the VHS line of Marvel Legends based on the show. I think the real reason for his exclusion was due to the fact that Hasbro had somewhat recently released a Gambit figure in the same getup on a retro card exclusive to Target. I think it’s even still available. The same was true of Rogue and I think Hasbro made a business decision not to compete with itself for both figures, but if you’re going to have a line of X-Men figures based on the animated series you have to have Gambit.

The heigh isn’t quite right, but I’m not sure it is with any figure in this line. Look at how massive Sinister is, for crying out loud.

Enter X-Men ’97 and its first wave continues to right the wrongs of the VHS line by including, among others, Gambit. This figure is basically a re-release of that Target exclusive with minimal changes that come down to a new head and new overcoat. I don’t have that Target figure, but as far as I know, everything else is the same including the accessories. The paint application is a little different to better reflect the new source material, but that’s it. Chances are, if you have that figure and you’re happy with it, you probably won’t need this one. I, on the other hand, just want an animated Gambit to put on my shelf with the rest of the animated X-Men so I grabbed this one along with Rogue and Magneto so lets see if that was a good decision or not.

The portrait is very animation inspired.

Gambit comes on the same card as the rest of the line with artwork from the show on the front. Out of the box, Gambit stands at approximately 6.25″ to the top of his head and 6.75″ to the top of his hair. Like the rest of this wave, the scale is suspect. Gambit is a bit too tall, but not egregiously so. The head sculpt will get the most attention here as it has a very animated look to it. It’s a very clean approach with few lines to make it easy to animate. I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t look like Gambit from the original series. It looks more like him than the Target figure, but that’s it. He looks reasonably enough like the art from the new show, so that’s fine. The paint is iffy though. The eyes are good and he doesn’t have lipstick, but the edge of the cowl isn’t clean. There’s a spec of flesh color on the right eyebrow of my figure and they added some stubble to his chin via paint. It’s on the character model, so I can’t kill it, but I wish it wasn’t there. The hair is huge and probably divisive. I don’t mind it though. Again, not at all accurate to the ’92 show, but looks fine for X-Men ’97 based on what I’ve seen. There’s no shading on it, but it’s probably fine for the source material.

Gambit comes with his staff, though I’ve never understood why he would need one.

And speaking of shading, you won’t find any on this figure. The coat is an overlay and it’s fine. It’s pretty stiff though and won’t pose at all, but it looks okay in a default pose. The sleeves are part of the sculpt and we’ve seen these before. The hands are unique to Gambit, at least the left hand with two finger gesture, so it’s odd to see fingernails sculpted onto the digits covered by the glove. They’re black, so the flesh part is painted which ironically covers up the fingernails to make them barely noticeable. Maybe this hand is reused for another figure? I don’t know, it seems odd to me. The torso is molded in pink and the blue portion appears to be molded in blue as well and keyed in. The very bottom of the shirt is painted pink and doesn’t match as a result. It’s pink over black plastic, which is an odd choice. I guess it’s because they wanted to do the legs in black so they could paint the pink thigh stripes, but it’s a lot easier to paint black over pink than the opposite. The pink stripes are also sloppy and the black shows through. The boots are just blue plastic and it shows.

It’s a very mixed bag on the presentation. Excepting the boots, the parts in molded plastic look fine, but the paint is bad. Gambit also has the same issue as Rogue in that the overlay coat isn’t snug enough at the shoulder. There’s plenty of pink showing between the sleeve and overlay when it didn’t need to be that way. It’s basically just another figure that is only concerned with the bullet points when it comes to the presentation, but the finer details are most certainly lacking.

Holy crap! An actual effect part!

Gambit does get to have more accessories, at least, when compared with Rogue and Magneto who both just got a hand swap. That’s not to say Gambit is loaded, by any means. He has his staff which is molded in blue, and to my surprise, it appears to be a darker shade than the boots. It’s a staff, so it’s fine. What’s not is the gripping right hand which is too loose for it. Gambit can hold it if you’re patient and careful, but it’s not good enough. And if you wanted a two-handed pose you’ll have to search for a new left hand somewhere because Hasbro didn’t provide one. I mean, you can kind of use the default left hand, but it looks a bit silly. Instead, they provided an effect part hand. It’s molded in a transparent pink plastic or acrylic and has three cards extending from an open hand with a swoosh effect. It looks fine, there are fingernails on the hand again for some stupid reason, but the swoosh kills it for me. It makes no sense because it extends beyond the hand in both directions. The swoosh should end at the front of the hand and extend only one side, not past the hand on both. It makes it look like an energy wave is shooting out with cards too. At any rate, there’s also a single card effect to place between the two fingers of the default hand. I like this one much better and it’s good, but no second portrait? No second gripping hand? No gripping hand that actually works?!

Though it’s not exactly a good effect part. That swoosh makes no sense, but Hasbro keeps re-releasing this damn thing.

The articulation is basically as expected with Gambit. The head is on the hinged ball peg that provides range up, down, and rotation, but zero tilt for more nuanced poses. The shoulders are hinged ball pegs that raise out to the side just past a horizontal position. The biceps swivel is fine and the single-hinged elbows give the figure better than 90 degrees at the elbow plus some swivel. The hands swivel and the gripping hand has a vertical hinge and the other a horizontal one. The torso has an ab crunch that goes forward pretty far, but the coat prevents much use going backwards. There is waist twist, but it’s pretty ugly because it just sits on a peg flush with the hips. The hips kick out to side about 45 degrees and kick forward all the way. There’s some range going back that’s stopped by the coat. There is a thigh cut for a swivel there and they put it in between two of the leg stripes so that’s a plus. The knees bend past 90 pretty far and there is a boot cut in the middle of the shin if you want it, but it’s ugly. The ankles hinge forward and back a solid amount and the ankle rocker is fine. My left ankle is pretty stuck at the hinge and I haven’t tried heating it up to free it.

This is definitely not the most fun figure to pose. The torso joints have acceptable range, but they’re of little use on this figure.

Aside from the left ankle, the rest of the figure is fine as far as joint tolerances go. Like Rogue, the shoulders are a bit tight, but with Gambit I don’t feel any binding at the joint. This one seems less gummy than the other two figures so at least the feel is fine. This is just one of the few figures where I wish Hasbro had inserted a butterfly joint. It would serve him well with his staff and cards, plus the coat would hide it. Double ball joints at the head and waist would also have improved the figure. I don’t think the ab crunch offers much use and a ball joint there that gets some rotation would be better. It’s a very dated approach to articulation, but Gambit’s unique attire means unique tooling is needed and Hasbro doesn’t want to spend money it doesn’t think it has to.

If he’s just going on your shelf then I guess this animated Gambit is passable. When that Mondo one shows up though he’s going to really look like a piece of crap.

The X-Men ’97 version of Gambit is essentially another compromised take on an animated character that will be acceptable for some and unacceptable for others. At $26, it’s too expensive for what’s in the box, but if you want an animated version of Gambit this is what you’re stuck with. And, for me, it’s mediocre, but passable. On the shelf with the rest of the crew, he looks okay. In hand and on its own, the figure isn’t much fun to mess with and a bit frustrating to pose the way I want to. Add the mediocre accessory load-out and frustrating gripping hand and it results in a below average action figure by today’s standards. Here I am essentially talking myself out of what little affection I have for this figure, but to summarize, if you (like me) just want a Gambit for your animated shelf it will probably get the job done. If you want something that’s an improvement over what Hasbro has already released, then you’re going to be let down. As seems to always be the case with Marvel Legends, you’re better off waiting for a sale.

Need to catch up on other X-Men animated Marvel Legends releases?

Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Rogue

Previously, on X-Men reviews we looked at Magneto from the upcoming series X-Men ’97. The animated series may have been delayed into 2024, but the action figures from Hasbro are already here. And if you were collecting Hasbro’s line of figures based on the animated series from the 90s, this new line offers a chance…

Keep reading

Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Magneto

It was two years ago that Hasbro made the announcement that it was wading into the weeds of X-Men, the cartoon series that aired on the Fox Kids Network from 1992-1997. The line was released across eight installments in 2022 (plus a ninth if you include the obviously animated-inspired Apocalypse released on a retro card)…

Keep reading

Marvel Legends X-Men Animated Series Mr. Sinister

This week, the long wait for an in-person San Diego Comic Con comes to an end. For the first time since 2019, attendees, creators, and the like will be invited back into the city of San Diego for a celebration of all things comics, movies, and general “nerd” culture. One of the many panels this…

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Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Rogue

Rogue is back with a facelift.

Previously, on X-Men reviews we looked at Magneto from the upcoming series X-Men ’97. The animated series may have been delayed into 2024, but the action figures from Hasbro are already here. And if you were collecting Hasbro’s line of figures based on the animated series from the 90s, this new line offers a chance to fill in some gaps. That’s what drew me to Magneto, and that’s what is drawing me towards Rogue.

Rogue comes at us in the same style of card back as Magneto with artwork from the show on the front and a cross-sell on the back. Rogue is in her animated attire which is very similar to the costume Jim Lee designed for her in the comics, but with some minor differences. Her headband is just a headband with no knot on the back and her jacket is green instead of brown. Otherwise, she still has her two-toned hair and her yellow and green bodysuit. And her costume in the new show is the same as the costume from the old show. There is a style change going from the old show to the new and that’s reflected in the figure, but on the surface, this figure should be a candidate to serve as an animated Rogue in your X-Men animated series collection.

If you were introduced to Rogue via the 90s cartoon then you probably prefer her in the green jacket.

Rogue stands at about 6.25″ to the top of her hair. I was critical of the size of Magneto so I should do so here. Rogue is a bit too tall, not egregiously so, but she’s not perfect if that matters to you. I’m okay with it, personally. Her head sculpt is all new. The hair is done with two pieces: one brown and one white. It looks fine. There’s no shading which would probably help, but the two-toned nature of her design covers up for that. Her face and said hair are the most obvious change for the new show. She doesn’t have the big 80s hair she had before, and while her face looks fine, it just doesn’t look like Rogue to me. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is about her face that differentiates it from say Jean, and I think it’s how her eyes are shaped. Usually stretched a bit and diamond shaped. It looks close enough though to the image on the box so ultimately I’m fine with it, this is more information for those looking to fill in the ’92 collection. Her face does have some shine to it, which I don’t care for, but that’s hardly surprising for a Marvel Legends release.

Rogue stands mostly in-line with the other female figures from X-Men.

The rest of the figure is a mix of old and new. The jacket is a floating piece while the sleeves are sculpted. It looks fine, the X logo on her right arm looks pretty ugly, but I have no issue with the approach. The opening for the arms is pretty large though so it’s something you have to be mindful of when posing if you don’t want her to look like she’s wearing a vest. The upper torso piece is new to better match the new show. She’s still a tremendously busty woman, only now the suit isn’t so skin-tight that she looks like she has cantaloupes on her chest. Some might complain that her breasts have been slightly deemphasized, but I personally think this looks better. This new torso does appear to have a slightly different finish to it though, at least the upper part, as the yellow on top doesn’t match the yellow of her abdomen perfectly. It’s slight, but something I notice with the figure in-hand.

You have probably seen a similar meme before. Cartoonists and figure sculptors just love working on Rogue’s butt.

The other main difference between this Rogue and the previously released retro card figure (which I don’t have), is that the boots are now fully sculpted. That figure had the top of the boot represented by a floating piece, but now that’s just sculpted to the thigh. It looks okay. When fully bending the knee it’s probably not as good looking as the previous solution, but at least there’s no fussing with the extra piece. The majority of the figure is molded in yellow and the green is painted on and the paint application is mediocre. The torso is okay, I have some yellow spots but they’re hidden under the jacket, but the thighs are a bit messy. The green straps on the boots also aren’t cleanly applied. And something sure to irritate some, myself included, the green portion of her thighs doesn’t line up on the front and back of the leg. Meaning if you twist the thigh to line the yellow and green up properly on the front of the figure, it will be mis-aligned on the back and vice versa. That’s just annoying, but also speaks to Hasbro as I often get the impression they just don’t care about the details. There’s also a weird paint detail on the side of each thigh. It’s like an extra application of green, but on the plastic seem of the upper thigh. It’s on both sides and I don’t really know what’s going on with it.

“Momma!”

The figure looks fine, it’s just imperfect when some of those imperfections don’t really need to be there. The articulation is also mostly fine. The head is affixed via the usual Marvel Legends hinged-ball peg. For Rogue, it works okay as her hair hides the gap and odd angles when pushing her head all the way down or up, she just doesn’t have a ton of room for nuance posing. The shoulders are hinged pegs and they’re really tight. Perhaps this is the result of creating a new upper torso, but not new arms? They’ve been doing that for years though so one would think they’re experienced at it. The joint is tight though on Rogue and sometimes when rotating it feels like the peg is binding more than rotating. It’s unpleasant, to say the least. The elbows are single-hinged and bend about 90 degrees. There’s also a swivel which works fine. The wrists swivel and hinge horizontally and they’re fine.

“I hate you!”

The diaphragm joint feels like a double ball peg. There’s a little movement to either side and some tilt forward and back, but nothing extreme. It should rotate, but like the shoulders, the joint wants to fight any rotation and is prone to binding. The plastic they’re using is just too gummy. There is no waist articulation and the hips are big ball sockets. She can do better than 45 degrees, but splits are out of the question. She kicks forward pretty well, but she can’t kick back much at all because she’s got herself a pretty ample backside. There is a thigh twist, but the design of her suit means it looks bad when utilized. I would have preferred her hips be designed to swivel on the ball peg. The knees are double-jointed and they’re fine, though there’s some paint transfer from the green to the yellow kneecap on my figure. The ankles are hinged and feature a rocker. The range is fine, but they’re very “clicky” so you basically just have 3 or 4 positions they can get into as there’s no smoothness to the joint.

The glove is off!

The articulation is mostly there, but the quality of the plastic lets the figure down. Those shoulders are problematic as is the diaphragm joint. She should have a joint at the waist, especially considering she has a belt to hide it, but that’s a spot where Hasbro seems to favor aesthetics over articulation with its female figures and I can accept that limitation. She could have double-jointed elbows and it’s mostly Hasbro being cheap in reusing old parts that prevents that from happening. There’s no butterfly joint, but I don’t consider that a terrible loss. Even though she’s a figure that could benefit from being able to rear back in a punching pose. It’s another figure where the quality control, the finer tuning, lets it down so it’s not much fun to pose. She’s also difficult to stand which I think has a lot to do with her body being more slight and her head top-heavy. The lack of nuance with the ankles adds to the frustration.

Sorry Logan, no going back for Morph and Beast.

As was the case with Magneto, Rogue is not going to shine when it comes to accessories. Of those, she has just two: an ungloved right hand and a second left fist that is holding her removed glove. The left hand is reused from the last Rogue release while the right hand is surprisingly different. I’m sure it’s not new, but it’s more of a reaching hand, I suppose? She should have a set of ungloved open hands for grabbing other figures. A second portrait with a more aggressive expression would also be nice. If you want her to look like she’s going to syphon someone’s energy she kind of looks like a creeper with that smile she’s sporting. The cuffs of the gloves are at least separate pieces that slide off of her arm so at least you can make the ungloved hand look convincing, but it feels half-assed still. I feel like a good company would include a ’92 inspired head or something, maybe some effect parts, but that’s not Hasbro.

Rogue comes away feeling a lot like Magneto. This is a fine enough likeness of the new X-Men ’97 design and probably a tolerable stand-in for the ’92 series. Considering the VHS line from Hasbro rarely seemed to feature new tooling, chances are a ’92 Rogue would have just been the previously released retro card with some haphazard cel-shading. At least this figure doesn’t have that blemish. It has problems with the articulation though and the accessories stink. At $26, it’s a harder sell than it should be. I don’t regret buying it, but I can’t give it a full-throated endorsement either. This is the sort of figure one buys out of a sense of obligation: I have an animated X-Men shelf, and it needs a Rogue. It’s not really one that’s bought because it’s a terrific product, but that seems to sum up the Marvel Legends experience.

Interested in more figures based on the animated X-Men?

Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Magneto

It was two years ago that Hasbro made the announcement that it was wading into the weeds of X-Men, the cartoon series that aired on the Fox Kids Network from 1992-1997. The line was released across eight installments in 2022 (plus a ninth if you include the obviously animated-inspired Apocalypse released on a retro card)…

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Marvel Legends X-Men Animated Series Mystique

The penultimate figure in this series is a bit of a curveball. When one thinks of the animated series X-Men, the first villains that come to mind are Magneto, Sinister, Apocalypse, Sabretooth, and then it gets muddled. Graydon Creed made quite the impression in the show’s second season and may even be the most hate-able…

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Marvel Legends X-Men Animated Series Morph

This is it! This is the big one! Back on Halloween of 1992 Fox premiered X-Men and we were introduced to a character named Morph. For comic readers, it was a bit of a re-introduction as Morph was based on the character Changeling, but for copywrite reasons, had to undergo a name change. Changeling wasn’t…

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Marvel Legends X-Men ’97 Magneto

New show, new toyline, that’s how the world works.

It was two years ago that Hasbro made the announcement that it was wading into the weeds of X-Men, the cartoon series that aired on the Fox Kids Network from 1992-1997. The line was released across eight installments in 2022 (plus a ninth if you include the obviously animated-inspired Apocalypse released on a retro card) and you probably don’t need to be a huge fan of the property to know that eight figures just isn’t enough to properly capture the series in action figure form. Fans can debate on what the biggest omission was and it would certainly be easy to select one of the several X-Men not included, but for me, the one I missed the most was Magneto.

Magneto has long been one of my favorite villains in anything. While he really wasn’t the big baddie he could have been in the show, he still had tremendous presence and was a captivating figure. I was delighted to see Mondo turn to him second for their line of sixth scale figures based on the show and they basically nailed the likeness of the character. In a perfect world, we would all be enjoying X-Men 97 right now, the sequel series to X-Men from the Fox days set to launch on Disney+ in early 2024. It was going to launch this fall which would have coincided with the 31st anniversary of the original show’s premiere, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. The show could be pushed back, but the tie-in merch was basically locked into their release windows so we at least have a new line of Marvel Legends based on the show to talk about.

He’s a bit of a slender boy.

As someone who is a big fan of that original animated series, I saw this X-Men 97 line as a chance to add to what Hasbro gave me in 2022. And I think some of that attitude is present in the character selection as we’re getting four characters right out of the gate not featured in the VHS line: Rogue, Gambit, Bishop, and the subject of this post, Magneto. Hasbro knows people like me will supplement that line with these figures which have a more animated look than a standard Marvel Legend release, even if it’s based on the new series instead of the old one. The characters are all coming on blister cards with artwork from the show on the front and they’re a mix of old and new tools. Unlike the VHS line though, these are definitely designed to resemble the source material where as the VHS line was very inconsistent with its approach. The line was actually pretty bad, if I’m being honest, but I keep buying this stuff anyway because nostalgia is a hell of a thing. If you think Marvel Legends are only getting worse these days then I guess I’m part of the problem as I’m still buying compromised visions of the characters I love.

There’s no cel-shading in this line, but he does have shadowy eyes. I just wish they went a bit heavier on the shading like the source material.

I’m looking at Magneto first because, as I said, he was the one I missed the most from the VHS line. He’s also the figure that best fits the style of the 92 series as not much has changed. I don’t collect enough Marvel Legends to know if the parts here are new or not, but they’re new to me. Out of the box, he stands at approximately 6.25″ to the dome of his helmet. We’ll get the accessories out of the way right now as he just has clenchy hands out of the box and a set of fists. He’s depicted in his classic attire from episode 3 of the original series: helmet, purple cape, red gloves. His costume changed here and there throughout the show. Sometimes he had purple gloves, something the part of his costume covering his neck and upper chest was red, but this is how he looked in Season One (and how he’ll presumably look, at least in the early going, of the new show). The crest on his helmet isn’t painted, but it doesn’t appear to be in the new show either. An outline might have helped though. The helmet has a very glossy appearance, but since it’s supposed to be metal I’m okay with that. The rivets holding his cape on are also shiny and there’s a little pearl quality to the purple portions of the wrists and shins. Those parts are painted, and the application is just okay. There’s some red poking through on the left shin of my figure and the lines aren’t all clean.

“Why is my hand shrunken when opened?”

The red portions of the costume are just colored plastic, but they have a nice, matte, finish. The cape is also colored plastic with a similar finish. I like how they sculpted in some shape into the shoulders which adds a little flair to the look. There is no cel-shading with this line, but Hasbro did paint the face with some black around the eyes as Magneto is often depicted in both the comics and animation. I like it, but I think they could have gone a little heavier with the black. There’s also some missed spots in between the eye and the eyebrow. The helmet is a separate, non-removable, piece and the face is painted underneath it. I don’t like the lipstick and I feel like his eyes are a little too high, but the face is okay enough.

The dainty hands are more pronounced when compared with Cyclops.

What I can’t shake though is the feeling that Magneto is just too small. X-Men 97 is a continuation of the original series so it stands to reason that the characters are the same size as they were back then. In that original series, Magneto was around 6’3″ and was basically eye-to-eye with Cyclops and Gambit if not a touch taller. With this figure, he is shorter than both Cyclops and Gambit. He’s also a touch slighter of build in comparison with the VHS Cyke. Maybe the new show is going for a slimmer profile with its characters and if so, criticism revoked, but the height is still an issue. Also of issue are the clenching hands which are almost comically undersized. Compare his open hand with Cyke’s two-finger hand and it’s like comparing a child to an adult. The fist hands are fine, and actually look like they’re reuse from Cyclops, and it’s even easier to see how small the clenching hands are by comparing them with the fists as there’s no way those two hands could be the same. The only big parts of the figure are his feet, which look terrible. They look like loafers and not boots. Magneto is a character that’s all about presence, so his size feeling off is a bigger deal here than it might be with other characters.

These two will never see eye-to-eye.

Articulation for Magneto is a touch limited for a Marvel Legends release, but that’s not exactly a deal-breaker. The head is on a hinged ball peg so you get range looking up and down, but it lacks the nuance of a double-ball peg. The shoulders are standard ball hinges and they raise out to the side past horizontal and rotate as far as the cape allows. The cape can be moved as it’s glued down to the figure’s chest, but also pegs into the middle of the back which can be popped out easily if you need it to. There are no butterfly joints, but I’m okay with that. There is a biceps swivel and double-jointed elbows that go past 90. They’re not the best looking elbows, and the entire figure has a bit of a gummy feel, but they work. The wrists swivel and both sets of hands feature horizontal hinges.

Lets bring in Gambit for another size comparison.

In the torso is an ab crunch that actually works really well going forward and back. There is a waist twist below the sash that works, but it gets ugly if you go too far. The hips are simple ball socket hips which can almost hit a full split going out to the side. They kick forward 90 degrees and kick back a little bit as well. There is the standard thigh cut which works fine and double-jointed knees that bend past 90 without issue. The ankles hinge forward and back and at least these ugly feet have solid range. The ankle rocker is also there and works fine.

If only he had an effect part of his own.

The articulation isn’t amazing or anything, but at least what is here works about as well as it could, minus the tactile issues. It’s enough for Magneto who basically just raises out his arms and floats around. What is lacking are the accessories since there basically is none. No un-helmeted head, no flight stand, no power effects. Just a figure with mis-matched hands. Is it enough? This figure cost me $26 and it’s a pretty bare bones release, all things considered. Any way you slice it, that isn’t great value. That’s probably why a lot of Marvel Legends are clearance buys for many people out there.

Yeah, he doesn’t look as good or come with as much stuff as the Mondo version, but it is almost a tenth of the price.

I bought this Magneto to go with my VHS set of figures. I know others are buying it for their comic collection. Presumably, there are people out there buying the figure to put on an X-Men 97 shelf, but with the show not out I guess it’s not surprising there isn’t a lot of folks going in that direction. For what I wanted out of this Magneto, it works. It’s undersized and lacking in bells and whistles, but otherwise looks the part. Is that worthy of your twenty-six dollars? That’s for you to decide. As for me, I don’t regret this one and compared to the VHS line he’s honestly among the better of those figures. It’s just a terrible value for what you’re getting, but as long as Hasbro is the only game in town it’s all we got.

Interested in more figures based on the animated X-Men?

Marvel Legends X-Men Animated Series Wolverine

The toyline of my dreams was announced last October. In celebration of the 30th anniversary of the television series X-Men, Hasbro is doing a dedicated line of Marvel Legends with figures based on the look of the show. The show was obviously inspired by the designs of Jim Lee, but there are differences in the…

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Mondo X-Men TAS 1/6 Scale Magneto

If you showed a random individual this blog and asked them what my favorite cartoon was as a kid I’m guessing they would go with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And they wouldn’t be wrong as that was my favorite for a time, but come 1992 I was starting to drift away from that show. Batman:…

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Marvel Legends X-Men Animated Series Cyclops

I wasn’t sure he would make it in time, but Hasbro managed to ship Cyclops before the end of the year. Cyclops marks the final figure (for now) in Hasbro’s X-Men animated series subline of Marvel Legends. It has been…a ride. What was once a dream line of mine to see brought to fruition, turned…

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Mondo X-Men TAS 1/6 Scale Sabretooth

No one loves Sabretooth? I love Sabretooth.

It’s Halloween 1992. You’re sitting in front of the television with a bowl of candy and your costume in pieces. Coming on is a prime time airing of Fox’s newest superhero cartoon: X-Men. You’ve seen the comics at the grocery store and in other places. You know Wolverine, you know there’s a guy who shoots lasers out of his eyes and that the bad guy can stick to your refrigerator. Outside of that though, there’s still a lot to be discovered. The theme song kicks in composed by Ron Wasserman which gets your blood pumping. A dazzling array of colorful costumes and bright lights play before your eyes – it’s too much to take in with just a single viewing, but as the characters line up for a colossal battle they slam together and the logo “X-Men” overtakes them. The screen is then filled by the snarling, angry, face of someone you don’t know. He’s massive! And scary! And he sends a police car hurtling towards the screen!

That character is Sabretooth and he has the honor of being the first character shown in an episode of X-Men. In less than a year, the X-Men will practically be household names. It will be the highest rated show on Saturday mornings and it will stay there through reruns all summer finally ceding the throne in the fall to a little show called Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. It’s kind of a big deal considering Fox was also airing Batman at the same time which was coasting off of Batman Returns and starred a character that had already been a household name for decades. As for Sabretooth, I had never given much thought to him being the first character we see in the show following the opening credits (which prominently displays all of the heroes and a bunch of the villains, including Sabretooth), but it was apparently by design. Sabretooth is the fourth release in Mondo’s line of sixth scale action figures based on X-Men, and on the inner flap of his box there’s a write-up for the character by the showrunner, Eric Lewald, and his wife and fellow writer Julia which explains why Sabretooth was chosen to essentially lead-off the series. And it’s because he’s big, intimidating, and scary. They wanted the viewer to understand why humanity would fear mutants. X-Men was not a show that was going to show its characters in stark black and white tones, and it was important to see how something like the Mutant Control Act could come about while also showing why it was fundamentally flawed in the episodes to come.

Sabretooth may be listed as figure 5 on the box, but he’s the fourth release.

It’s always fun to learn new details on decades old shows, but it’s also more fun to get a brand-spankin’ new action figure! As mentioned before, Sabretooth is figure number four in this line of action figures from Mondo, even though he was actually solicited fifth. Somehow, he leap-frogged over Gambit, but I’m not complaining. Spoiler alert, Sabretooth is probably the best year in the line and it’s a line that’s been trending in the right direction. Each release has been better than the last. While I subjectively prefer Magneto to Jubilee, I can’t argue that her figure is just a little bit better when it comes to function. Magneto had some ticks about him and his articulation is very limited due to his cape, but Jubilee remedied a lot of the little things. Sabretooth has an even cleaner sculpt and the quality control on the joints is superb. It’s not a perfect figure, but it is pretty damn close.

Poor Sabretooth…

Sabretooth comes in a massive box adorned with production artwork from the series and a new illustration by storyboard artist on the show, Dan Veesenmeyer. Sabretooth is the biggest figure in the line, so he gets the biggest box – makes sense. It has a front flap that opens up to reveal a window behind it, but Mondo packages their figures so well in plastic that the window isn’t very revealing for in-box collectors. It at least allows space for that write-up I mentioned which is both enlightening and pretty damn entertaining as it contains the line, “No one loves Sabretooth.” It also contains a reveal, of sorts, in that we the viewer are supposed to interpret that Sabretooth murders his son, Graydon Creed, at the end of the episode “Bloodlines.” The Friends of Humanity essentially leave their disgraced founder to suffer at the hands of Sabretooth and it’s hard to imagine the cold-hearted fiend taking it easy on the mutant racist just because they’re kin, but still a bit shocking to have his end confirmed.

He’s bigger than the others, but he could be bigger.

Out of the box, Sabretooth stands an impressive 12.5″ to the top of his head and around 13″ to the top of his mane. This makes him the tallest figure in the line, though he’s not much taller than Magneto. As was the case with past releases in this line, it’s likely that Sabretooth isn’t true sixth scale. The model sheet with height references from the show had him at 6.5′. You may think that’s too short and you would be correct as the model sheet has him with bent knees and hunched forward. I’m guessing that’s how he was supposed to be drawn more often than not, though in his early appearances we see him splayed out in a hospital bed which makes him look far bigger. Six and a half feet at sixth scale is exactly 13″, but this figure is 13″ when standing upright so it’s not exact. I personally get it as making this figure much bigger would make things a lot more difficult. Bigger equals more weight and that’s more of a burden on joints. It’s also added cost and this guy was already $240 as is. The figure can work at this size, and it’s actually more of a problem with Wolverine who came in much too tall. If he were the proper height the display would look better. As it stands, the only scale-related issue I have with Sabretooth is that he needed to be downsized not just in height, but all around, so his head size is small compared with the other figures in the line. Not egregiously so, but it noticeably and at this price point we have to get picky.

Who ya got? The egg-suckin’ piece of gutter trash or the runt?!

Issues of scale aside, the rest of the presentation on this figure is pretty damn fantastic. Once again, we’re dealing with a sculpt from Alex Brewer with the paint master being handled by Mark Bristow. This figure presents Sabretooth as he appeared in the show’s first season in which he made multiple appearances with most coming in the the show’s third and fourth episodes. This means he has the red-brown chest that continues all the way up to his cowl. Later appearances would have the red stop at his pecs. He also seemed to be drawn smaller in those later appearances, but we’re done dissecting his height. This edition of Sabretooth sports a costume design very similar to the Jim Lee redesign that was in the comics, but there are some subtle differences most notably being that the sleeves don’t feature any red on the back. Instead, they’re orange and the red begins at the gloves. Sabretooth’s costume always was a bit tricky to figure out as he looks almost nude, but his face is a different color implying it’s all a bodysuit. The episode “Weapon X, Lies, and Videotape” would toss us a curveball though in having Sabretooth remove a glove revealing his forearm and hand to be the same color as his apparent sleeve implying he’s just plain naked. I think it was an animation error, but then there’s also a scene where Sabretooth basically transforms from a relatively normal looking person into the costume we see today so I have no idea what was going on there.

Sabretooth called the head of Talos an ashtray on the show which is kind of surprising that the censors allowed any reference to smoking to sneak in.

This version of Sabretooth is known less for the costume and more for just being a hulking monster. He is way bigger than he often was drawn in the comics and it’s almost all in his upper body. His shoulders and chest are just plain massive. His abs were also ridiculous with some shots in the cartoon giving him a 12-pack as his abs basically continued into his crotch. His design is over-the-top and I am here for it. This is how I picture Sabretooth in my head and basically every action figure I ever owned of the character have left me unimpressed because he just wasn’t big enough. For me, this figure is a long time coming as he looks like he stepped out of my VCR and into my room. While Mondo didn’t go as crazy on the abs as the show sometimes did, he does have an 8-pack and that feels appropriate. His shoulders and biceps are appropriately large as is the chest. His body tapers in towards his waist as it did in the show and his legs are long. The claws on his fingers are pronounced just enough and rather pointy too. We talk about shelf presence a lot in the action figure world, but this is a figure that has shelf presence to spare.

Protect yourself and your pet: buy a muzzle.

And a lot of that is due to the excellent paint job. The sculpts have been good in this line, but it’s the paint that really makes them next level. Anyone who turns their nose up at cel-shading on action figures has never held one of these figures in their hands. It’s impressive, and Mondo selected the exact right tones to shade this figure. Even better, is all of the black linework around every muscle and feature on this sculpt that really gives it that pop. And even with all of this paint, it’s applied in a very clean manner. You have to go hunting with this guy to find imperfections. Some of this has to be hand-painted so there will be some variations from figure to figure, but on my copy at least there’s little to no paint slop to be found. There’s just little spots here and there along the black lines where it could have lined up with the sculpt a little better, but it’s by and large pretty damn good. The only thing I would categorize as an eyesore on this figure are the elbows, which are unpainted. They have black linework on then, but the joint is bare plastic and it’s not a perfect match for the painted parts. It can be hidden some by bending the elbows. It’s also going to show up more under harsher lighting, and in my photos which I utilized a flash for most it’s more visible than it is on my shelf as I type this.

He sure does love his explosives!

Sabretooth comes with a pretty substantial spread of accessories, though he’s a character that also doesn’t demand a whole lot. For heads, we get two to choose from: snarling/yelling and an open-mouth smile. I think both work very well and suit the character and it is hard to choose between the two. I’ll probably go with the smirk more often than the snarl, but I do enjoy both. For hands, we get three sets: fists, C-grip, and what Mondo describes as dramatic. They’re basically open, clawing, hands and what I think many will choose to pose him with. The gripping hands work with a pair of accessories. One, is the head of Talos (or ashtray) from “Weapon X, Lies, and Videotape.” It’s the head and the circuitry for the neck. Nothing articulates, but it’s painted very well and it’s a fun, episode-specific, inclusion. The other accessory he can grip is a handheld detonator and it goes with the explosives. This is from the episode “Cold Vengeance” where he and Wolverine battle in Alaska. Both aspects of the accessory are well-sculpted and well-painted and it’s another fun inclusion. I honestly can’t see myself ever displaying Sabretooth with the Talos head in hands, but I could with the explosives.

Does a mutant healing factor contribute to a healthy head of hair?

If you got the special timed edition of the figure from Mondo then you also got more stuff. For an extra 15 bucks, you get a third portrait of Sabretooth unmasked and sporting a smirk. This from the end of the episode “Bloodlines” referenced on the packaging flap. It looks great, but like the Fairy Tale Theater Jubilee head, it doesn’t match the rest of the figure as Sabretooth was out of costume for that scene. It’s still cool to get an unmasked head, but I’ll probably never use this and would have preferred a standard head with a new expression. Maybe unconscious? The timed edition also comes with the muzzle the X-Men put Sabretooth in when he was captured in “Beyond Good and Evil Part III.” You can basically slot it over either of the standard heads and then pop the head on to complete the effect and it looks pretty cool. It’s definitely a worthwhile inclusion. Lastly, we get a blaster and two trigger hands to hold it. The blaster is, once again, pulled from the episode “Weapon X, Lies, and Videotape” and it looks accurate to the show. This is an item I can see getting added to my display when I want to change things up because it looks pretty damn cool. The trigger hands also work well with the detonator, arguably better than gripping hands.

Sabretooth isn’t really a gun guy, but he pulls it off.

For the timed edition, I’d say that’s a pretty robust assortment of accessories. And if you wanted to save a bit of money and go the standard route, I don’t think you’re missing out on anything essential. Sabretooth is a brawler at heart, so really just the heads and hands are all he truly needs, but I’m always happy to have more. Where this line is typically not that impressive is the articulation. The characters really didn’t move all that well in the show so one could argue they don’t need to do much, but why be limited by the source material if you don’t have to be?

“Ya done nice, girly! And as a reward I’ll finish you off clean and fast!”

Sabretooth has a double-ball for the head that lets him look up and down a bit and rotate. There’s some nuance posing, and perhaps more important than the range, it’s easy to swap heads without scuffing anything. The shoulders are standard ball-hinges and he can get his arm up to about horizontal and rotate. There’s no biceps swivel, but he does have a swivel at the elbow which contains a single hinge that will bend about 90 degrees. The wrists are hinged ball-pegs so he can rotate and move the hand up and down or in and out depending on the direction of the hinge. And unlike Wolverine and Magneto, I had no issues getting the hands to rotate on the peg. In the diaphragm, there’s a big ball joint that lets the figure lean back a bit and forward a bit. It can rotate and tilt to the side as well. The waist is another ball joint, but it’s deep in there and the figure has one of those rubber diaper pieces so you won’t get much back and forth, but you will get rotation. The hips are big ball pegs that allow the legs to go out to the side past 45 degrees. He can kick forward as well, but not a full 90 with minimal range going back. The thighs do swivel, and the knees are double-jointed with swivels above and below the knee. The ankle hinges forward and back and have an ankle rocker. It’s the only joint that feels a tad stubborn, especially the right ankle, so the range isn’t quite what I’d like.

“Back off, dweeb!”

The articulation is basic, and the figure is quite heavy so there are limits to how it can pose. Aside from the ankle, nothing was stuck. The knees are a touch looser than I’d like and I’m sort of questioning if the double-joint makes sense here. Between the bending and the swiveling, the figure can sometimes want to kick out. I have had no issues getting him to stand, but I often don’t feel comfortable leaving him be in some poses. It does work better to have the figure in a crouch, which makes sense for the character, and I did leave him standing unsupported for days without falling. Mondo does include its usual stand and it’s actually slightly different. There’s more weight in the base so it probably works better than it typically does. And it’s actually usable with Sabretooth since he doesn’t have a cape or giant coat to get in the way. I’m not presently using it, but I did consider it this time around.

With each release, it gets harder to find space, but it’s a good problem to have.

Mondo is not trying to give collectors a super articulated line, just enough to create some distinct poses. What Mondo prioritizes is the aesthetic and it’s hard to imagine anyone making a better Sabretooth figure than what we have here. I love this figure. This is the Sabretooth I wanted when I was a kid. Maybe not at this size, but definitely these proportions. The sculpt is awesome, the paint incredible, and there’s plenty of stuff in the box. I am as pleased as I could be with this release. If Mondo were doing this line at 1:12 scale they wouldn’t be able to keep the stuff in stock. By doing sixth scale, it does shrink the market because this line needs a lot of space and it’s not cheap to collect, but it is so much more satisfying to behold than what some other companies have done with this property. If you’re in on this line and cherry-picking, this is a cherry to go after.

If this review has you wondering about the rest of the line, see below:

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