Hugh Harman was one of the early stars in the field of animation. In fact, we talked about one of his shorts already this year, but perhaps his most famous and most celebrated is the 1939 anti-war film Peace on Earth. According to Harman, the short subject was nominated for The Nobel Peace Prize, but no such record exists of that officially happening. Perhaps it was merely in the conversation and Harman was mistaken or the record of its nomination was simply lost to time. Either way, it’s often a distinction tacked on to any conversation about the short, but in truth, it doesn’t need such accolades to justify its relevance as the short carries a very simple, relatable, and irrefutable message.
The cartoon centers around the lyric and Bible verse “Peace on Earth / Good will to men,” or as stated by Luke “on Earth, peace, good will toward men.” It came during a time when the world was moving towards another global conflict that would eventually be labeled World War II with many people alive still able to remember the first World War. It’s understandable why there would be a lot of uneasiness at that time, and Harman seemed to think that Christmas would be the appropriate backdrop for this anti-war piece. It was released by MGM in December of 1939 and would receive an Academy Award nomination, though it lost to Disney’s The Ugly Duckling. It’s certainly a bit heavy-handed, so maybe that explains why it wasn’t embraced more in the moment, but it came to be relegated as one of the best short subjects that takes place during Christmas. In my youth, Cartoon Network could be guaranteed to show it every Christmas Eve, usually late at night and possibly right around midnight, and that’s where I saw it most. Laying in my bed, unable to sleep due to the excitement to follow the next day, watching as many Christmas cartoons as I could find on television.
Not many Christmas cartoons begin with a look at a church in ruin.
The short opens with an animated title card. “Peace on Earth” is in an elegant font while shadowy men run by and a church appears to burn in the background. The camera pans across weapons of war all covered with snow and the ruins of an old church, possibly the burned out one from before. A choir can be heard singing an original composition, sort of. It’s “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing,” but the words have been adjusted to really emphasize the “peace on Earth” portion of the song. At least I think it’s original as the old audio and the fact that it’s sung by a choir can make it hard to decipher the lyrics. There are other songs out there called “Peace on Earth” that may or may not be the same or similar. Either way, it sounds lovely enough.
Sing it, boys! That’s the good stuff!
It’s a snowy, nighttime, setting and an old, gray, squirrel (Mel Blanc) is walking through town. The song is originating from a trio of carolers that appear to be red squirrels or chipmunks. They’re anthropomorphized and wearing clothes while the buildings appear to be made out of human items so they’re not giant animals like Mickey Mouse or even Bugs Bunny. The old squirrel walks with a cane, but he’s got a big smile on his face as he sings along really emphasizing the whole “Peace on Earth, good will to men,” part. He encourages the carolers in their singing and when he reaches a small house with a wreath on the door he pauses to remark how it’s a wonderful world! He sure is in high spirits.
I want to call this a cozy, Christmas, setting, but there’s really nothing Christmassy in the shot.
In a small house, a mother squirrel knits while two smaller squirrels sleep in a cradle. One is in blue pajamas and the other pink so I’m guessing they’re brother and sister assuming animals abide by the gender norms of the era. The old squirrel bursts in singing his song and the two little ones wake up instantly shouting “Grandpa!” It would appear grandpa here mated with a red squirrel at some point if the mother is his daughter. We don’t know, as she will only have one line. I have to give her credit for not getting ticked off with the old guy for waking the children.
Uh oh, it’s grandpa and he’s ready to party!
The kids and their grandfather exchange “Merry Christmas,” and all that. There’s apparently no material component to animal Christmas as the grandfather has not come baring gifts or anything, they’re just happy to see him as they jump into his arms. He waddles over to an arm chair the mother vacated for him, but she failed to remove her ball of yarn and crocheting tools and the poor guy sits on them. He pops up immediately and for a moment appears ready to lose his cool, but he just tosses the yarn aside and sits down. That little gag is basically the only physical comedy we’re going to get in this one.
Settle in kids, it’s time to talk about the apocalypse.
The whole time the grandpa squirrel has been walking around he’s been continuing the song and also just muttering to himself the “good will to men,” line. One of the children then asks their grandfather what the line means. It would seem there are no more men so the kids have no reference point for them. Well, this just means we’re going to have to have a bit of story time as old grampy squirrel tells the kids about who man was and why he’s no longer around.
It’s easy to see why they’d fear us.
How does a squirrel describe men to those who never saw them? Well, as monsters! He rises from the chair to demonstrate and all we see are the shadows of the characters on the wall, but they soon fade and are replaced with images of men. He describes them as great, big, monsters with iron pots on their heads that walked on two legs that carried terrible looking shooting irons. The image we see is of a soldier wearing a helmet and gas mask carrying a rifle. The uniform is brown and likely deliberately nondescript so as not to put the blame on what’s to follow on any one group of people, but all people.
A banner Bugs Bunny would support.
The grandfather continues to describe the man we’re looking at and mistakes the hose on the gas mask for man’s nose. As he describes them, we cut back to the little home and the two kid squirrels are a little scared. One of them expresses relief that all of them are gone and the other agrees. The grandfather then goes on to say he couldn’t figure them out and describes them as always fighting. When one argument was settled, another came up. This whole time we’re watching tanks and artillery getting moved into position and the grandfather describes the escalating hostility as so silly that vegetarians began waging war against meat eaters. We see that displayed via banners of war, another rare instance of legitimate humor in this one.
Now he’s getting into it!
He then goes on to say that one day they got into a terrible fight. Now we’re seeing those weapons of war being used, and the burning church from the intro is back as men run past it. Artillery weapons are firing, planes are dropping bombs, and soldiers are banging away. The grandfather is shown acting things out by swinging his hat and cane around in the living room and banging on a pot. He describes hearing a whistling sound, which we then cut back to the scenes of war and recognize them as bombs. The music has been steadily rising in intensity as well. There’s explosions, soldiers firing machine guns, troops running around and that same background of the flaming church shows up again. The sequence ends with soldiers at a stationary machine gun and fades to show the grandpa mimicking them using his cane as the gun and rattling it over some logs. He’s wearing the pot on his head.
The death of the last man.
The children then ask what happened next and the grandfather confirms it was terrible. Just two men were left. We see one soldier aiming from inside a trench and another waist deep in a swamp. A gun shot rings out and the soldier recoils, but before he falls he’s able to squeeze off a round of his own presumably hitting the other. The swampy soldier then sinks to his demise.
The world belongs to them now.
Among the tattered trees and desolation, the woodland critters poke their heads out. As they begin to explore the now man-less world, a mournful instrumental of the main theme plays. They soon flock to a blown out church and a younger version of the grandfather squirrel approaches a wise owl looking over a book. It’s a version of the Bible, likely the old testament, and when the squirrel asks what it says he reads aloud the commandment before him, “Thou shalt not kill.” He then flips through the pages and remarks that it seems like a collection of mighty good rules, but man chose to ignore them. He comes to rest on a page that reads, “Ye shall rebuild the old wastes.”
All right, we get it!
Upon hearing that, the other animals (which are basically all small mammals and a few birds) declare that’s what they’ll do. They’ll rebuild! They start picking up the wreckage left behind, mostly old helmets from fallen soldiers, and start building around them. The music picks up and the scene shifts to a brightly lit setting. The animals are now wearing clothes and utilizing tools to build their new society from the ashes of war. If you didn’t get the message of this short, the name of the town will drive that point home for you: Peaceville.
They fell asleep once they got past all of the killing.
The camera pans over the animals building and it transitions to a shot of the town in the present day. The choir comes back in singing “Peace on Earth” and the camera pans across the town until it comes to rest on the little house where the story is being told from. The carolers then shift to “Silent Night” and the grandpa is shown sitting in the armchair with his grandkids in his arms fast asleep. He’s finishing his story, but before he can actually finish the line “Good will to men,” the mother “shushes” him. He smiles and puts the kids back in the cradle then he hobbles his way towards the door grabbing his hat along the way and reciting over and over to himself “Peace on earth.” He leaves, though without his cane, and the camera pans back over to the mother squirrel who finally gets a line, “Sleep in heavenly peace.” The image fades to one of clouds with the words “Peace on Earth” in the center of the screen. It fades out and we see the clouds with beams of light passing through them.
The mother finally gets to do something just before the thing ends.
That’s how Peace on Earth concludes its message. It’s a nakedly obvious message, but one that really can’t be refuted. The Harman directed short is able to sidestep most politics of the day by not depicting any one army and puts the failure of war squarely on all of mankind. The mood is sort of hopeful as we see the animals come together to build their own society, but at the same time it feels pessimistic since, you know, all of mankind had to die in order for peace to be achieved. It gives the short a time capsule feel as this was likely the mood of many a person as the world was on the verge of all-out war once again. The short also offers a solution in the form of the Bible, or church, which feels a bit dated now since it seems all of the worst people are backed by evangelicals in the United States, at least. The messages are still there, but few seem interested in following the basic tenants.
There certainly are some cutesy looking animals in this one.
It’s a nice sentiment that’s baked into this one, but it’s also pretty on-the-nose. It feels like “Oscar bait,” but at least that’s reflected in the budget. The animation on this one is Disney level. I am having a hard time thinking of many non-Disney shorts that look this good. Maybe some of the early Tom and Jerry stuff or the Chuck Jones early works that were deliberately trying to imitate Disney. The characters all have that round, soft, look to them which makes them pleasant to look at while the men are done in a realistic style. Some of their movements may be rotoscoped, but it’s hard to know for certain. The backgrounds are highly detailed, though they are a bit few. Especially in the scenes of war as many are recycled and they got a lot of a mileage out of that burning church background. I suppose it’s fine though since they look good and there are only so many ways to portray a darkened, war-torn, setting in an 8 minute short. The quality of the score also matches the production quality of the images as it’s very cinematic and often intense.
The short gets a lot of mileage out of this background, but at least it’s a good one.
I don’t know if Peace on Earth is worthy of being considered for a Nobel Peace Prize, but it is a good cartoon. It does straddle the line as far as taste goes so I can see it being too much for some who might respond in a cynical fashion. And I can also see plenty of folks finding it profound. For me, my response is more in the middle. It’s a sweet little cartoon and I enjoy the visuals, but it could use some subtlety as well. As a kid, there was a shocking element to the short for me the first time I saw it when it just tosses out that mankind is gone. As an adult, it’s less shocking and on my darker days almost seems likely. As a Christmas cartoon, I think it appeals more to the devout since the religious aspect of the holiday is pretty front and center without actually mentioning Jesus. The modern trappings of Christmas aren’t present, and that’s fine. We don’t need Santa in everything.
That’s the goal. It sure would be nice to live to see it.
If you want to check out Peace on Earth, MeTV will probably air it either on the show Toon in With Me or as part of its Tom and Jerry Saturday morning block. Considering today is a Saturday, it might air this morning or next Saturday. If you can’t catch an airing of it though, it has been preserved on the Internet Archive and can be streamed there as well as in other places. It’s not hard to find and these 8 minute shorts don’t even need to be as good as Peace on Earth to make them worth watching at this time of year.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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The answer is not as far as you may have thought. Solar Opposites is a fine show, but definitely a less focused one when compared with Rick and Morty. It works in the streaming model as it’s the type of show I’ve found I can just toss on when I’m not really feeling like investing in anything I’m overly attached to. The characters are designed to be fairly unlikable and the plots can be a bit nonsensical so there’s no requirement to pay much attention to the show’s continuity. There is a show within the show that takes itself more seriously and it does become more of a focus in the more recent seasons, but even that is pretty easy to jump into. It’s funny, but also absurd, and the sci-fi elements are still very much a huge presence in the program.
The aliens: (left to right) Korvo (holding Pupa), Terry, Yumyulak, Jesse
Solar Opposites is about a family of aliens that had to flee their own world. Korvo (Roiland) is the leader and the only one who seems to place any sort of value on their mission to terraform Earth so their species may rise again. He despises Earth and basically everything on it. Or at least he claims to, but there seems to be plenty here he does enjoy. Terry (Thomas Middleditch) is Korvo’s evacuation partner and is sometimes portrayed as a mate. Unlike Korvo, he seems to like Earth culture and enjoys indulging in it and all of its pop. He’s also the designated pupa specialist as each evacuation group from their home world was issued a pupa (Sagan McMahan) which will one day grow to gargantuan proportions and terraform the Earth, basically destroying all sentient life in the process. They are joined by their individual replicants, Yumyulak (Sean Giambrone) and Jesse (Mary Mack) who are forced to live as Earth teenagers. It is them who shrink and capture random humans to toss into a terrarium where the show’s “Show within a show” takes place.
In between the second and third seasons of the show a Christmas special was released. Titled “A Very Solar Holiday Opposites Special,” it basically takes these fish out of water characters and just tosses all manner of Christmas at them. We’re going to get a lot of subversion of Christmas tropes, numerous references to more famous specials, and we’ll likely finish with something that’s not exactly heartwarming and Christmassy.
These aliens know how to decorate.
The special begins with the Solar Opposites house looking very, very, festive. Korvo is inside jumping around with a pair of handguns blasting the Christmas tree. The guns he is firing are apparently Christmas guns, or something, because when they strike the tree they just make ornaments appear. Terry then enters carrying a Santa statue sporting a Santa for President t-shirt and both talk about how much they fucking love Christmas. Yes, since this is for streaming there is a ton of casual swearing. Korvo reminisces about an annual festival on their home world that involved hunting the elderly and looks back on it with nostalgia. Terry just seems to love the kitsch aspect of Christmas as he demonstrates the Santa statue he’s carrying is a novelty hot cocoa dispenser. I bet you can guess where the chocolate comes out.
Everyone is down with Christmas except for the Pupa.
Yumyulak, Jesse, and the Pupa enter and they’re excited for Christmas as well. Yumyulak loves that they get to kill a tree and decorate its corpse while Jesse states she loves getting gifts and then returning them for store credit. They all then gang up on the Pupa as it apparently dislikes Christmas. We have to trust the others on this because it does nothing to demonstrate its dislike for Christmas. It just maintains a neutral face while the rest hurl insults at it until it’s had enough and leaves through the window. Terry demands it not return until its found the Christmas spirit. Meanwhile, Yumyulak seems ready to fuck the tree which I guess would make him a necrophiliac by his own definition? Jesse produces a tray of candy cane Hot Pockets which they all seem to enjoy and Terry lets us know we’re about to experience the Solar Opposites Christmas special! Woo!
Even their origin story is getting the holiday treatment.
We then get a festive rendition of the opening credits. Basically every character is wearing a Christmas outfit and the home world of the aliens is shown being destroyed by Santa instead of an asteroid. I approve. When the credits end, we see what the Pupa is up to: church. It would seem the Pupa is the only one that cares about the secular aspect of Christmas as it attends mass and does so without irony. After a brief sermon by the pastor (Troy Baker), the Pupa goes over to a man who is sobbing in the pews. He confesses to the Pupa (basically none of the humans on the show bat an eye at the aliens, they just accept them as a thing that exists) that he made a mistake by kicking his son out of the house because he confessed he’s a little bit bisexual. The pupa comforts the man and looks up at a large sculpture of Jesus and seems to smile at it.
The Solar Opposites are about to experience Jingle All the Way, a Christmas movie without Will Ferrell elves or leg lamps.
Terry is ready to commence a festive tradition of watching a Christmas movie. And today’s feature: a VHS copy of Jingle All the Way. They’ve never seen it, but Terry boasts about the recommendation it received from the Christian Science Monitor. Korvo chimes in and asks the group if they want to watch Jingle All the Way, or truly live it? He then leads them to the lab where he asks if they remember seeing Ready Player One. No one seems to, but Korvo explains a part of the movie gave him an idea when a character went into The Shining, or something. I’ve never seen it. Yumyulak uses this as an opportunity to likely channel one of the writers on this episode by seeming unimpressed that the movie put a better movie into it to try and seem good. Korvo explains he made the same device though and calls it The Ready Player One Device and receives shit from Jesse for his unoriginal names to which he responds, “Tough ta-tas.”
This isn’t the most exciting movie to enter.
Korvo activates the device and they’re all magically transported into Jingle All the Way complete with a festive, snowy, wipe effect. All four characters find themselves in a home and all are dressed the same. Yumyulak is not impressed to just move from one suburban house to another and when they question their attire Korvo informs them that the device is only able to replace one character in the film so they’ll all be playing Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character. A kid (uncredited) then runs up to them to inform their dads that what they want for Christmas is a Turbo Man action figure. Terry finds this request ridiculous since it’s so close to Christmas and the product is sold out and says as much to the boy, but he reacts as if Terry agreed to purchase the doll. He runs off and the Opposites are left to assume the kid’s father promised to get the toy and they all find this absurd. The screen then goes black and Terry freaks out as he thinks he’s having a stroke, but Korvo just lets him know they’re being transported to the next scene.
Watch out, Jesse! It’s Sinbad!
And that next scene finds them all outside a store. The Sinbad character (Gary Anthony Williams) comes barging through them and Terry remarks that his presence cannot be a good sign for the quality of this movie. Korvo just gets pissed at the lack of holiday décor around them and the absence of snow. Terry apologizes for taking the advice of the Christian Science Monitor while Jesse suggests they bail. Yumyulak is the only one who seems slightly invested in the film’s plot, but he doesn’t protest when Korvo whips out his device to eject them from the film. Back at the house, Korvo suggests they all split up and do something festive to get the horrible taste of Jingle All the Way out of their mouths. Terry calls dibs on calling Santa, while the other three disperse.
Too late for a Game of Thrones joke? Or, is the joke that a mall Santa is precisely the kind of place where you would see a too late Game of Thrones joke?!
At a nearby soup kitchen, Pupa is ladling out food to the less fortunate while holding up a picture of a lost boy. One of the individuals says “Hey, isn’t that Everett, the little bit bi kid,” which is amusing that everyone just knows him as the little bit bi kid. He’s been working at the bus station so Pupa smiles and takes off to go scope it out. At the mall, Jesse is shown emerging from a store with a pile of gifts and bags under her eyes. She seems worn out, as does Korvo, who is waiting to see Santa. They go to meet Santa, who’s seated on a Game of Thrones styled chair made of dangerous looking candy canes. The two get their picture taken, but look depressed in it. At the house, Yumyulak is taunting the tree with a pitcher of water, but this little game he’s playing doesn’t seem to thrill him like it used to. On the couch, Terry is in actual tears on the phone while the Santa on the other end suggests he deposit another 50 bucks to talk about it. He hangs up and wails “Who even cares?” as the Christmas spirit has been sapped from the Opposites!
The spirit is no longer willing.
Jesse is at the house too and is cutting herself wondering why she doesn’t feel right. Korvo is also perplexed while Yumyulak doesn’t understand why torturing the sexy, dead, tree is failing to make him hard. Jesse asks if anyone wants to go get hit by a bus with her and Terry absolutely does. Korvo figures out the problem though and takes the group back to his lab. He uses an X-Ray device which reveals their hearts are too small. Jingle All the Way sucked so hard that it depleted their Christmas spirit and it must be fixed. Yumyulak suggests drinking the blood of someone full of cheer, but Korvo has a better idea. He suggests they use The Ready Player One Device to go into other, better, Christmas movies to regain their Christmas spirit! The others are onboard as Korvo holds up a VHS of “It Be A Wunderful Life” and tells us, the viewer, to suck his ass because the Solar Opposites are going into all of our favorite Christmas movies!
Yes, it’s that kind of show.
Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You” comes on as Korvo inserts his tape into the device. They’re all shown playing the role of George Bailey during the bridge scene from It’s a Wonderful Life. All just repeat the line that they want to live, except Yumyulak who says he wants a limited edition Animal Crossing Nintendo Switch and to live again. We then see Korvo’s next tape, “Rodolfo the Rogue Nose Deer.” All four are in Rudolph costumes and Korvo declares “Nobody likes our stupid, fucking, noses,” while Jesse adds “Being different sucks.” Clarice (Kari Wahlgren) is there though to reassure the group that she likes their nose, and their musk, then whispers to Terry-Rudolph that she’s at the height of her cycle. He says he can tell and begins to fuck her. As he thrusts, the nose on his costume blinks. The other three just watch and smile. It’s wholesome.
Hard to top a pickup line like that.
Our next tape is “luvindeed,” which I think is a romantic comedy parody of Love Actually which is a movie I’ve never seen. A woman answers her door to find the crew all standing with signs for her. Korvo’s says, “Shut the fuck up,” Terry’s reads “Pobodie’s nerfect,” Jesse’s is “Merry Christmas, please cheat on your husband with me,” and lastly we have Yumyulak who is going with “Epstein didn’t kill himself.” The woman seems touched as she has tears in her eyes. The Opposites then whisk back into the lab and Jesse demands Korvo check their spirit levels. They all still look exhausted and worn out, so it’s no surprise the trip through the other films didn’t work as intended.
In order to save Christmas, the Solar Opposites must Jingle ALL the way!
Korvo can only reason that by not finishing Jingle All the Way they ruined their Christmas spirit. Terry really doesn’t want to go back and points out that the film had no stakes. He adds Kindergarten Cop is a way better Arnold movie because you actually care if the kid lives or dies. I have to agree. Jesse confesses she’s feeling some regret about not being a better father while Korvo insists they have no choice. They can’t just jingle some of the way, they have to jingle all the way! He rummages through a box of tapes and asks the others if they remembered what happened to them on Veteran’s Day? Apparently they all lost their Veteran’s Day spirit and now they don’t support the troops. He finds the VHS of Jingle All the Way and insists they have to go back to the Jingle-verse and finish it if they want to save their Christmas spirit!
Before Christmas can be saved, we must check-in on the Pupa.
We check-in with Pupa who is at the bus station in search of Everett. The guy working there tells him he just left on the 7:36 bus to Vegas where he feels he can be a little of whatever it is he is. We then cut to the bus being driven through the falling snow and Pupa smashes into the windshield causing the driver to scream, then stop, to let Pupa on. Pupa finds Everett who tells him “You don’t want to sit next to me, nobody does.” Pupa then holds up the picture of Everett with his parents and he looks at it like he’s about to cry. It cuts to Pupa smiling, then cuts to the two of them standing on the side of the road watching the bus drive away. They begin walking, presumably to Everett’s home.
Something looks…different.
We then return to the Jingle-verse, only now the title of Jingle All the Way is in a destroyed font. The setting looks like a post apocalyptic war zone which confuses the Opposites as they resume their role in the movie. Korvo checks his device and discovers that time moves faster in the Jingle-verse because 80 years have passed since they left. Terry suggests it might not be all bad since he spots Santa peeking over a fence at them, but when they investigate they find it’s just a bunch of Santa heads on pikes in someone’s lawn.
It’s all starting to make sense.
The group walks the ruined streets in search of some way to advance the plot. Terry is repulsed by a guy taking a shit in the road, and then suddenly that same guy is attacked by a pack of miniature, monstrous, Sinbads. They appear to be eating him and when one hisses at Korvo he tells it to go fuck itself. A one-eyed man emerges from a nearby building and asks what the hell they’re doing out there. He tells them to get inside and they do as suggested. Once there, they ask what those things were and he says they’re mutant Sinbads which roam the streets in search of Turbo Man dolls. They asks why the Christmas presence is gone from this movie and the man explains it’s been like this since Jamie took over. Hearing their “son’s” name, Korvo presses the man and finds out that when Jamie didn’t get his Turbo Man doll they promised him and was subsequently abandoned by his father, he rebelled against Christmas. The events are all covered in his book Christmas is a Lie and on the cover Jamie is depicted as an obvious parody of Donald Trump made even more obvious by the words “Sequel to The Art of the Deal.”
If you’re to get murdered and consumed by cannibals might as well have it be Christmas cannibals.
The one-eyed man continues explaining this current predicament and references a wintertime parade that Jamie forces everyone to participate in at 11:45 PM on Christmas Eve. The others are surprised at how much backstory this guy is able to cram into this moment and Jesse just points out that shallow characters are a staple of the Jingle-verse. The man basically confirms as much, but then also adds that he’s stalling for time so his buddies can kill them and help him prepare their bodies for a feast! He calls them out and shouts “We have the meats!” which causes Korvo to ask if they have Arby’s in the Jingle-verse. The guy just responds with “What the fuck is Arby’s? That’s just what I say,” as his “reavers” emerge to attack the Opposites. Their attire is basically Mad Max meets Christmas, but before they can attack a bunch of them start getting shot. The shooter is Jesse who reveals she stole George Bailey’s gun when they were in It’s A Wonderful Life. It’s depicted as a grayscale revolver with a static effect on it which is pretty neat. Korvo confiscates the weapon on account of Jesse likely shooting her eye out if she’s allowed to hold it. He then says they have to find a Turbo Man doll and gift it to Jamie if they want to end this so the four begin searching. As they leave the building, Terry notes that Bailey didn’t display a gun, but Jesse tells him everyone carried back then including Shirley Temple who hid hers up her “hoo-ha,” “That’s what the song “Lollipop” is all about.”
I feel like he’s seen grosser stuff than this.
A nearby clock chimes indicating it’s now 2. Korvo instructs them all to meet back at this spot and reminds them to spread Christmas cheer wherever they go. While he does so, he casually snaps the necks of attacking Sinbad mutants. Mariah returns as we get a mini montage of the Opposites searching for Turbo Man dolls. Jesse is at a decrepit looking toy store, but is soon attacked by zombies and is forced to flee while shouting, “Ho ho ho!” Terry is at an elementary school when more reavers attack him. As he runs for his life he chooses to shout, “Snowflakes! Sugar plums! Shitty orange chocolate!” Korvo is in the bedroom of a long dead individual who might be clutching a Turbo Man? Hard to tell since it’s off model, but that could be done for licensing reasons. As he tries to pry the toy from the corpse, he’s clearly fighting back the urge to vomit, but eventually fails and throws up all over the corpse and the toy.
Pupa’s Hallmark Christmas movie appears to be headed for a happy ending.
We’re then back at the church from earlier as Pupa leads Everett inside. Everett is reluctant for he feels no one in there wants him to be there, but his dad stands up and runs to him. Everett is confused because he thought his dad didn’t want him around anymore since he confessed he’s a little bit bi. The dad apologizes for being wrong and then adds that Anna Paquin is a little bit bi and she’s an integral part of the X-Men! Everett smiles because his dad saying that indicates he read his Livejournal. As father and son embrace, the Jesus on the crucifix opens its eyes to look at the two. Pupa looks up at it, winks, and the statue winks back. It’s a Christmas miracle!
Meanwhile, the very un-Hallmark plot is heading for a bloody thrilling conclusion!
Inside what remains of Jingle All the Way, the Opposites have regrouped only to confirm none have found a Turbo Man doll. It’s proposed that the group just “sci-fi” themselves out of this mess by making a Turbo Man doll, but Korvo says he already tried that and his 3D printer won’t break copyright laws unless they’re in Guam. Yumyulak is ready to throw in the towel and let the Sinbads eat him while Terry just wishes he never picked Jingle All the Way and instead picked a better Christmas movie like Die Hard, Gremlins, or Piranha 3D. Korvo tells him to shut the fuck up and says they’d still be in this mess then starts off a debate whether or not those are even Christmas movies. Terry defines a Christmas movie as any movie that takes place on Christmas, then concedes Piranha 3D has nothing to do with the holiday. Jesse sees this definition as an answer to their problem because it’s Christmas now. All they have to do is wrap up a plot on Christmas and their movie is over. Korvo agrees and declares they need to find Jamie and apologize for something they did 80 years ago to save Christmas. He cocks the shotgun he apparently found for added emphasis.
Okay, I think we’re done here.
We then switch to a small, warm, home. It’s Everett’s house, and his father is leading a toast before their family. Pupa is there to witness the dad declare that he was wrong to kick Everett out and that everyone should be free to be who they are as that’s what Christ would want. When Everett thanks his dad, he tells him to thank Pupa instead. He turns to Pupa and asks if there’s any way he can reward him for all that he’s done. Pupa whispers into the dad’s ear and he seems surprised at the request. The only clue we receive about what Pupa asked for is the dad replying “And it’s just locked up in a child proof cabinet?”
They’re willing to go to great lengths to save Christmas.
Back in the movie, the Opposites have nailed down where Jamie is hiding – in the penthouse of a giant building. Terry is proud of their son’s success, but before anyone can tell him he’s an idiot the parade marches by. Jesse points out that means it’s 11:45 and they only have 15 minutes to save Christmas! Korvo declares he’s about to go on the naughty list as he grabs a severed Santa head. The rest do the same and they jump into the parade with corpse heads over their own doing the same karate chop motion other Santas are using in the parade. The one-eyed man is marching behind them though and immediately recognizes them. He rallies his remaining reavers this time with “Where’s the beef?” which just further annoys Korvo since he has to know it’s an old Wendy’s slogan.
This is where Jesse basically takes over.
The Opposites are able to ditch the cannibals and Yumyulak tries to assess the defenses of the penthouse. He wears some special goggles to identify the security, plus one guy who is jerking off in a bathroom. By Yumyulak’s words, he’s really going to town as he’s also fingering his butthole. Korvo is distressed at this reveal as men who jerk off are always stronger afterwards. Terry is freaking out, but Jesse breaks the tension by casually smoking a cigarette and producing a pair of knives. She confidently says they have plenty of time to finish this and Korvo agrees. He and Yumyulak just magic up some weapons like Jesse did with the knives, but Terry just smiles and holds up his fists. When Korvo questions his lack of weapons, he says he’s been learning a martial arts kill punch technique as a Christmas present for Korvo. Korvo is overcome with emotion and the two share a sweet kiss before embarking on their journey.
This is probably the image with the least amount of blood I could have taken from this sequence.
We then get a montage of the Opposites going on a rampage. It begins with Jesse entering the building looking innocent. A security guard smiles at her, but then she pulls out her knives and stabs him in the eyes. They head up the elevator where they’re forced to take out security guards, followed by a floor full of Santas, and then a bunch of the Sinbad mutants. As they move through each floor, they acquire more and more blood splatters on their clothing. Terry gets to demonstrate his kill punches, and there’s a cool silhouette shot of them running up the stairs on a green background as they demolish Sinbad mutants. Eventually they’re covered entirely in blood, though it fades for a slow walk shot of the four as they approach Jamie’s penthouse.
This “kid” must be pushing 90 at this point. I guess it’s good they got to him when they did.
Once they enter the penthouse, the blood is almost completely gone from their clothes. They call out to Jamie and indicate they’re here to apologize, but the laughing maniac isn’t interested. He floats over via a contraption not unlike what the Emperor is supported by in The Rise of Skywalker. Terry remarks he’s as ugly and twisted as his soul. When he apologizes for not getting him that doll 80 years ago they find out Jamie has all of the Turbo Man dolls. He’s assembled a T-shaped throne out of them and indicates he’s far more angry about being abandoned than not getting the doll. Jamie tries to explain his backstory further, but Korvo interrupts him since they’re running out of time and no one cares. He demands Jamie accept their apology so they can end this movie, but Jamie just laughs and tells him to eat shit.
The Opposites regroup, but they’re not sure how they can complete their emotional journey without Jamie accepting their apology. Jesse then has a realization and approaches Jamie. He taunts her by asking if she’s come to beg him to accept the apology once more, but she indicates she’s not there for that. She grabs one of the Turbo Man dolls, and declaring Jamie the bad guy of this film, starts smashing him with it.
Remember, it doesn’t matter how you celebrate at Christmas, just who you do it with.
It works! Jesse’s heart responds to the beating and grows in size. She urges the rest of her family to help kick this old guy’s dick into his ass, and they soon jump in. Korvo is the first and his heart starts growing too, followed by Terry. Yumyulak grabs a snow globe and starts beating on Jamie with it and smiles. A narrator them comes in to say, “Against all odds, each time the aliens struck the withered, old, asshole their hearts grew bigger and bigger filled with Christmas joy until they were ready to burst!” Beams of light shoot out of Jamie’s smashed skull and each place they touch is converted back into a joyous, Christmas environment.
Time to bring it in.
Yumyulak notes that Jamie’s blood tastes like Christmas while Terry says he’s filled with warm, hugginess. Korvo declares they’ve restored their Christmas spirit because they killed their son as a family, “And doing things as a family is the most Christmassy Christmas shit you can do.” Jesse tells them all that she loves them and they share a group hug. Then the credits for Jingle All the Way start to roll. Yumyulak doesn’t want to stay and watch them, but Korvo thinks they owe it to the movie since they skipped so much of it. Plus, he can’t imagine it took a lot of people to make this thing. They appear to be over, but before they can leave the room the second unit credits begin and the replicants indicate their displeasure at having to endure more.
Just look at that room. Amazing!
Back at the home of the Solar Opposites, we’re ready to put a bow on this thing. They’re all dressed in festive Christmas sweaters and Terry says he’s glad they spent Christmas together as a family. The rest are in agreement and Korvo is the one to reiterate that doing things as a family is what Christmas is all about. The Pupa then comes in playing a whistle and the mood immediately goes sour. Korvo demands to know how the Pupa got its Harry Potter whistle back and asks Terry if he locked it up like he was supposed to. Terry insists he did, then he yells at the Pupa for ruining the mood and chastises him for not even participating in the family Christmas adventure. They all angrily leave the room and the Pupa pauses his playing to say “Merry Christmas, everyone!” to the camera to close it out.
They’re mean to the Pupa, but I have to agree that introducing Harry Potter to Christmas ruins my mood too.
And that is how the Solar Opposites spent Christmas that one time. The show is definitely crude and it loves to take advantage of not being on broadcast or even cable TV with its language and violence. It has that same Justin Roiland timing that Rick and Morty has with Korvo basically just being a Rick character, only he’s not as mean and his dialogue sounds even more ad-libbed than Rick’s. He speaks fast and Roiland’s pauses, hesitations, and stutters are kept in as part of the character’s traits, he just doesn’t burp. There’s a lot of quick jokes that just fly by via the characters which really helps when one doesn’t necessarily stick since nothing is really allowed to linger. There’s certainly a “metta” component to the show as it’s basically self-aware, though that’s not as obvious in this episode. And while there’s nothing focused on the terrarium plot from the main show, we do get a B plot involving the Pupa.
I am actually a little surprised at how hard Solar Opposites went to incorporate Christmas into its special. It would be odd not to, but I was expecting something more like the Rick and Morty episodes that feature Christmas where the holiday is treated more like the B plot. Here it dominates as we get the Opposites going on adventures through Christmas movies to get easy jokes and references into this finally leading to more of a spectacle in the final act to finish Jingle All the Way. The Pupa B plot is actually a straightforward and simple Christmas plot. It’s brief because it can be since it’s just continuing a joke from the first act where the Pupa is ridiculed for not being onboard with Christmas to setup the payoff in the end. I really like how the main cast is actually very into Christmas when it could easily have made Korvo a Christmas antagonist and Yumyulak indifferent. The tree lust was a bit weird, but it didn’t feature much into the plot. I don’t know if this will ruin some of my Christmas cred, but I have a low opinion of Jingle All the Way so it didn’t bother me that this special rips on it quite a bit.
I’m just surprised he didn’t say “God bless us, every one!”
This one also delivers as a visual spectacle. Everything is covered in Christmas when it needs to be and it certainly feels like that was emphasized since the characters complain about the setting of Jingle All the Way not being Christmassy enough. I get the impression either Roiland or some of the writers on the staff filtered through there and it’s something I can go along with. This episode was probably born from them watching the movie and ripping on it. This one gets it though as if you’re doing a Christmas special, animated or otherwise, I want to see the characters at least put a sweater on or a Santa hat. The special also does a good job of working Christmas into the soundtrack and I’m actually surprised Hulu sprung for some Mariah Carrey not once, but twice.
The Solar Opposites Christmas special is definitely not one for everyone. And it should go without saying that it’s not for kids. If you like the show and similar ones like Rick and Morty or South Park then you’ll probably like this. It earns it’s title of Christmas special in basically every way though it obviously subverts the ending message when a group of dads restore the spirit of Christmas by killing their son. Again, not for everyone and if you’re offended by that type of program then you definitely don’t need this one in your life. If you do like that stuff, even if you’ve never watched the show, then I say give it a shot. The only way to watch it is via Hulu in the US and whatever serves as Hulu in other territories.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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Today we are continuing our look back at the best of the best when it comes to Christmas specials and today’s entrant comes from the quiet, mountain, town of South Park. South Park burst onto the scene in 1997 and basically transformed the Comedy Central network from the get-go. The show about four foul-mouthed kids who seem to live amongst the most over reactive collection of adults in the world was an instant hit and creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker suddenly found themselves amongst celebrities and the like. The show had a very distinct style to it as it was animated on computers, but in such a way that it resembled stop-motion paper dolls like the original short that spawned the series. It was so convincing that I recall many a friend at the time that would insist that’s how the show was animated, or it was only the first season that was, but in truth it was almost all of it as only the pilot contained some true stop-motion.
“Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo” is the first of several Christmas episodes the show would air and it’s still the show’s best. It tackles a relatable and sometimes overlooked aspect of Christmas which is how do the Jewish kids feel? This part of the special came from Stone, who is Jewish and had to deal with seeing all of his non-Jewish friends receive presents from Santa as a kid. Since it’s also South Park, it subverts some Christmas tropes and adds a healthy amount of gross-out humor to the mix to make it something not broadcast network friendly. We’ll get more into it as we go through it, but it’s interesting that you could basically swap Mr. Hankey for something inoffensive and the special would work for any network, provided the swearing was also dropped. This episode is also a musical, which is something the creators would obviously return to time and again both with South Park and outside of it. I realize that Tuesday’s special revolved around a fart and this one will center its plot on a poop. I suppose I could have planned it out better, but maybe they should be paired?
You’re unlikely to confuse any of the children of South Park with Linus.
The episode begins without the usual intro and instead presents the children of South Park elementary all singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” which is a direct call-back to the short that started it all: The Spirit of Christmas. The kids are onstage in their school auditorium and we’re witnessing a rehearsal for a school Christmas pageant. The singing stops and Stan (Parker) comes out on stage and requests, “Lights please,” and he quotes Luke (002:08-14) in an obvious reference to Linus from A Charlie Brown Christmas. Stan’s version doesn’t go on for as long as Linus and ends with “And now South Park Elementary presents the birth of Jesus!”
Messiahs are so ugly when first born
Stan takes his leave as the curtains open on a manger scene. Wendy (Mary Kay Bergman) is playing the role of Mary while Kyle (Stone) is playing Joseph and a bunch of other kids are on the stage with them including Cartman and Kenny, who is apparently an angel (fitting). Wendy is portraying Mary in labor while Kyle is basically ready to receive the little savior. She does some panting before a pop noise is heard and a crude little doll is sent shooting into Kyle’s hands. He holds the doll up like one might hold a prized fish they just caught while Cartman “oo’s” and Kenny says something unintelligible from his perch. Mr. Garrison (Parker), the director of this play, shouts “Wait! Wait! Wait!” cutting the scene short. Garrison criticizes Kyle for holding baby Jesus by the head and he also critiques the realism of Wendy’s labor pains.
The show could have just said portrayed Sheila as being too uptight, but she’s right to object to a nativity scene for a school play. Plus, she seemed willing to overlook it if her son was cast as someone else up until Mr. Garrison sassed his way out of any compromise.
As they get ready to try it again, Kyle’s mom Sheila (Bergman) shows up. She demands to know just what Mr. Garrison thinks he’s doing. He explains he’s trying to direct the Christmas play, but points out her son was holding “baby Jesus fetus” by the head. Sheila is incensed that Garrison would stage a nativity scene for a school play and demands to know why he would cast her son, who is Jewish, in the role of Joseph. Garrison responds in a derogatory fashion concerned she’s about to lay that “Chanukah crap” on him which gets her even more flustered. As she explains that her son is Jewish, we cut briefly to Kyle looking ashamed and the other kids looking at him confused while Stan even asks “Dude, why are you Jewish on Christmas?” Garrison then gets back on his megaphone and asks Kyle if there is anything he can do in the play not related to Jesus. His mom suggests The Dreidel Song while Kyle proposes the Mr. Hankey song, which goes something like this: Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo / he loves me and I love you…
This episode is the start of Cartman ripping on Kyle for being Jewish, something that seemed hilariously ludicrous back then, but feels a bit different these days.
The other kids interrupt him to question what a Christmas poo is and the song doesn’t go over well. Sheila is mad at Kyle for singing such a song (who taught it to him if not her or her husband?) while Mr. Garrison sees this as an opportunity for a zinger and tells her “That’s what you get for raising your kid to be a Pagan.” That’s the last straw for Sheila who tells Garrison she’s going to talk to the mayor about him. As she takes off, Garrison chases after her asking “Was it the Pagan remark?” seemingly realizing he pushed her too far.
Kyle is going to need confirmation from the law on this one.
Wendy, in another callback to a classic Christmas special, points out to the other kids that it’s snowing outside. This is intended as a joke since this is South Park where it snows constantly. The kids react like it’s something special though and all run outside where Wendy suggests they catch snowflakes on their tongue because it’s, you know, fun! The kids do as they’re told while a facsimile of the music from A Charlie Brown Christmas is played from the same scene of the kids trying to catch snowflakes on their tongue in that one. The kids seem pretty happy about the whole thing, all except Kenny who has the misfortune of a bird defecating on his face. Cartman then takes exception to Kyle participating in the snow eating declaring that Jews can’t eat Christmas snow. Kyle disagrees, but surprisingly, Stan sides with Cartman and seems to think it’s against the law. Conveniently enough, Officer Barbrady (Parker) is out front directing traffic and Kyle calls out to him asking if it’s against the law for Jews to eat Christmas snow. Barbrady replies “Yes,” but in such a way that indicates he’s confused or unsure forcing Kyle to accept this likely untrue regulation on snow consumption.
Kyle’s first attempt at explaining The Legend of Mr. Hankey to his friends.
Stan then reminds the others that they need to get to the mall so they can tell Santa what they want for Christmas. Cartman is quick to point out that Kyle can’t come since he doesn’t get presents from Santa. Kyle tries to throw Chanukah back at him by claiming he gets presents for 8 days, but Cartman dismisses the boast with “Yeah, but it’s probably just a dreidel or something lame.” Kyle then tells them he has Mr. Hankey and the boys finally ask what’s the deal with this Christmas poo? Kyle explains that Mr. Hankey comes out of the toilet on Christmas Eve and gives presents to all the kids who have a lot of fiber in their diet. Best of all, he doesn’t care about religion! The boys are understandably skeptical, but Kyle says they’ll be sorry when he’s the one riding in Santa’s sleigh with Mr. Hankey. Cartman shoots back “You’re not gonna ride on Santa’s sleigh ‘cus you’re a Jew, Kyle!”
This episode mostly plays things straight with Kyle as a sympathetic figure. There’s just lots of poop jokes.
Stan tells him they’ll see him later leaving Kyle all alone to sing about his feelings. He goes into “I’m a Lonely Jew on Christmas” which is actually a sweet song: “Chanukah is nice but why is it/ that Santa passes over my house every year?” It’s punctuated with some light humor through Kyle juxtaposing Christmas norms, like singing “Silent Night”, comparing it with Jewish songs sung in Hebrew so they sound ridiculous to non-Jews. He also gets in some bleeped profanity when he asks “What the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles – tell me please!” While he sings and strolls through the park, there’s lots of Christmas details in the background to drive the point of his loneliness home. It’s a song with comedic elements in a crass comedy cartoon, but it would take little effort to make this work for a much more benign Christmas special. It’s surprisingly earnest.
Mob scenes like this were not uncommon in the early days of South Park.
That evening, an angry mob has gathered outside City Hall and the mayor is addressing the crowd. It would seem a group of folks are angry about the nativity scene on City Hall grounds and demands it be removed on the basis of separation of church and state. Sheila also chimes in about the school Christmas play and how it isn’t being sensitive to the Jewish community which causes Mr. Garrison to fire back, “You are the Jewish community!” Cartman refers to Kyle’s mom as “Super Bitch” at this point and Kyle screams back at him to not call his mother a bitch which is something that will pay off later. The Christians demand that if the nativity is taken down then they need to take down all of the non-religious Christmas symbols like Santa and Frosty and the hippies demand there be an end to the cutting down of Christmas trees. After every demand is made, the mob shouts in agreement, until we get to Stan’s Uncle Jimbo who uses the opportunity to complain about flap-top coffee lids. The mob is silent after he registers his complaint, but then ends up cheering him anyway after thinking it over for a moment.
It’s a little surprising to see Cartman be the one to stop Kyle from further embarrassing himself.
The mayor expresses a desire to reach a compromise and asks if anyone in the crowd has a suggestion for a new non-offensive Christmas icon. Kyle responds with his suggestion of Mr. Hankey once more. The mayor is obviously confused, but Kyle runs with it jumping back into the Mr. Hankey song despite his parents trying to shush him. He gets only a little further into the song this time than he did before with the song getting interrupted this time by Cartman covering his mouth and explaining to the mayor that Kyle is “a disturbed little boy.” The mayor seems to take this explanation at face value and simply vows to find a non-offensive way to celebrate Christmas this year. She then asks if there are any more questions and Mr. Garrison offers one up, “Can we get rid of all the Mexicans?” When the mayor, in an exhausted voice indicating Garrison must bring this up frequently, tells him they cannot do that he responds in Peanuts fashion with, “Rats!” There is so much Charlie Brown in this one.
Time to face the wrath of dad, Kyle.
We’re then taken to Kyle’s house which is all decorated for Chanukah in a way a celebrator of Christmas might decorate their house which is honestly something I’ve never personally encountered. Inside, Kyle’s dad (Stone) is reprimanding Kyle for bringing up Mr. Hankey in public. I still have no idea how Kyle came to know of this Christmas tradition of Mr. Hankey, but it sounds like it wasn’t from mom and dad. As Kyle’s dad lays into him, Sheila just floats around behind him agreeing with everything he says while little brother Ike (Jesse Howell) manages to set himself on fire by knocking over the menorah. Kyle’s dad then sends him to bed and tells him he won’t be opening his Chanukah present tonight which Kyle mumbles a response of “It’s probably just another stupid dreidel anyway.” When his dad raises his voice demanding to know what he just said, Kyle just yells back “Ike’s on fire.”
He’s real!
Kyle heads upstairs to brush his teeth while his parents deal with Ike. As he brushes in front of the mirror, a haunting voice calls out “Kyle” from the toilet. Kyle tries to convince himself he’s just hearing things, but it doesn’t work as we finally get introduced to Mr. Hankey (Parker). He pops out of the toilet with a “Hidey Ho!” and he is literally a log of poop. He has big, inviting, eyes and two stick arms that end with white mittens. He has a tiny Santa Claus hat on his head and basically a permanent smile. He’s adorable, but also a piece of shit. It’s a real conflict of emotions looking at him.
The perfect Christmas card.
Kyle tells Mr. Hankey to go away as he hops out of the toilet and onto the vanity. It’s important to note that Mr. Hankey doesn’t fly, he just bounces around, and everywhere he lands he leaves behind a skid mark. Kyle tells him that his dad told him he isn’t real, but that just eggs Mr. Hankey on. He decides to sing Kyle a song to prove he’s real, and as he sings he bounces all over the bathroom and even writes “NOEL” on the vanity mirror with…himself. Kyle keeps trying to shush him because he fears getting in trouble, but it’s too late as his dad is already pounding on the door demanding to know what’s going on in there. When he finally is able to barge in he finds Kyle standing in the middle of the room clutching Mr. Hankey in his hand. Only Mr. Hankey is no longer a magic Christmas poo, just regular poo, and Kyle shakes him and orders him to dance, but the only response he gets is Hankey’s “head” just lists to one side.
Kyle is so committed to Mr. Hankey that he doesn’t even react to all of the shit stains the little fellow leaves everywhere.
We cut to Kyle in bed while his dad yells at him. He tells Kyle to go to sleep and think about his poor mother who has to clean that bathroom up. From offscreen, we hear Kyle’s mom shout, “What! What! What?!” to the notion that it will fall on her to clean the poop in the bathroom. Kyle’s dad shuts the door, and then Mr. Hankey returns. From where? I don’t know, but he pops up from behind the bed with his “Hidey Ho!” Kyle demands to know where Mr. Hankey went earlier, but he ignores the question and just politely reprimands Kyle for not wearing socks to bed. Kyle then tells him no one believes in him and Mr. Hankey just gives an “Aww shucks.” Kyle proposes that Mr. Hankey come with him to school tomorrow and Mr. Hankey thinks that’s a great idea. He vows to show Kyle’s friends the true meaning of Christmas!
The joke here is that no one should care about mistletoe, but I think I’m with this guy.
The next day, the mayor is out on Main Street as she tries to find all of the offensive Christmas decorations and get rid of them. The other people around her set to work taking down wreaths and a Santa display when Jimbo asks if mistletoe is offensive? The mayor asks the mob and when one guy raises his hand she instructs Jimbo to lose the mistletoe. At the bus stop, Stan tells Kenny and Cartman that he knows what he’s getting for Christmas, some Jon Elway doll. When they ask how he could know that he says because he checked his parents’ closet. Cartman then chimes in that he knows what he’s getting for Christmas because he looked in his mom’s closet: the Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000. When the others ask what that is, Cartman just says “I don’t know, but it sounds pretty sweet!”
What’s in the box?!
Kyle then shows up carrying a shoe box which prompts Stan to ask what’s inside. He tells him it’s a surprise, which naturally gets the boys even more interested as they gather around Kyle. He relents, but cautions his friends not to scare him. The lid is removed and inside is a dried out looking turd that was once Mr. Hankey. Stan cries out “Sick dude!” while Cartman angrily asks if this is some kind of Jewish tradition? Kenny is even offended and it sounds like he says something along the lines of “That is the sickest thing I have ever seen.” Kyle insists he’s alive and starts shaking the box back and forth demanding the poop dance, but it does no such thing.
The woman on the right really doesn’t like camels.
We’re then taken to a focus group where a researcher tells a small group of people he’s going to read off some things and measure how offended each person is by them. He begins with “Christ” and a couple of people are offended as indicated by a headband they’re wearing. He lists some benign stuff like “Sand” and “Camel” and one little old lady on the end seems to be mildly offended by some of these. It climaxes with the researcher saying “Stupid wop dago” which offends everyone. It’s kind of a lame segment.
Everyone seems to love Cartman’s song, except Kyle.
We’re back at the school and Mr. Garrison is disappointed when the Christmas tree is removed from the play. He then concedes he’s having a hard time coming up with a play that conforms to the mayor’s new orders. He asks the kids if any of them know a non-offensive Christmas song they could do and Cartman suggests “Kyle’s Mom is a Stupid Bitch,” which obviously offends Kyle, but not Mr. Garrison who has a strong dislike for the woman. Cartman goes into his jaunty tune which is both catchy and funny. Cartman is at his best when he’s just a little shit. His behavior would escalate into anti-Semitic, super villain, levels and would lose most of its charm so I like watching these older episodes sometimes where he’s just a more conventional asshole.
Oh, and Mr. Hankey really doesn’t like it as well.
As Cartman goes through his song everyone starts clapping and tapping their feet. Mr. Garrison is really enjoying it, but Kyle is not. As his anger rises, Mr. Hankey comes back to life and pops out of his box to see what’s going on. He’s not impressed with Cartman’s song since it is very mean-spirited. He proposes that someone needs to teach him a lesson. He allows Cartman to do his big finish, but once the song is over Mr. Hankey lunges for him despite Kyle apparently not being onboard with this idea. The second he does, he goes back to being just an ordinary piece of poo that strikes Cartman on the cheek. Everyone is stunned and Mr. Garrison breaks the silence by demanding to know if Kyle just threw “doo-doo” at Cartman? Kyle doesn’t know what to say, but he’s caught shit-handed as he looks at his mittens while Cartman just screams “You sick bastard!”
I’m Mr. Mackey, mmmkay.
In our next scene, we’re introduced to a new character: Mr. Mackey (Parker), the school guidance counselor. Kyle has been sent to him since he has some clear issues that need to be addressed. Mr. Mackey, with his “mmmkay” cadence, which is a bit of a rip-off of Beavis and Butt-Head’s Mr. Van Driessen, basically walks through how he assesses the situation describing Kyle as a fecalpheliac. When Kyle asks for an explanation on what a fecalpheliac is, Mr. Mackey tells him it’s someone obsessed with “mooky stinks.” Kyle repeats the phrase mooky stinks in a surprised tone indicating he’s never heard the expression before, but Mackey ignores him and points out that Kyle is Jewish. He theorizes that this must be a hard time of year for Kyle, and when Kyle admits that it is he asks him if it makes him mad? When he says it does he interjects, “Mad enough to KILL, Kyle?!” which Kyle insists is not the case.
If the scene in the bathroom didn’t gross you out, now the poop is getting into the mouth region.
Mackey then describes Kyle’s condition and he does so with unkind terms and even refers to Kyle’s brain as a “sick little mind,” basically the kind of language a school counselor would want to avoid. While he continues to insult Kyle, Mr. Hankey reappears once more only this time it’s in Mackey’s cup of coffee. Mr. Hankey is sporting a shower cap and scrubbing his back with a toothbrush while he hums his “Hidey Ho” song from earlier. Kyle is obviously disgusted by this and seems unsure of what to do. Eventually, Mackey finishes ridiculing Kyle by telling him he’s going to prescribe Prozac for him finally looking down at his mug (which he’s been sipping from this whole time). We then see Mackey’s point-of-view as a turd floats around in his cup. He shouts and calls Kyle a sick little monkey as he tosses the cup aside.
If you ever want to be institutionalized, chasing around your counselor with a log of poop in your hands is probably a quick way to do so.
Back in the auditorium, Mr. Garrison is explaining how they have to take down the Christmas lights because they offend people with Epilepsy. He asks Kenny to go unplug the lights and we see they have an outlet overloaded with them and water is dripping down onto it and has formed a puddle. Some ominous strings come in as Kenny walks over suggesting death is imminent, but he just pulls the plugs out without incident and the suspenseful music vanishes. Once done, Mackey comes running in as Kyle is apparently chasing him with the remains of Mr. Hankey in his hands insisting that he’s real. Mackey pauses to angrily shout at Stan that he needs to do something about his friend before he hurts somebody. This seems like a pretty crazy thing to expect an 8 year old to take care of.
Bye, Kyle! Happy Chanukah!
Stan does as he’s told, and he, Cartman, and Kenny take Kyle to a nearby mental institution. When he tells the woman working the front desk that they need to commit their friend Kyle the woman asks why. Kyle describes himself as a clinically depressed fecalpheliac on Prozac in response which is apparently enough for the woman. She confirms he has no allergies then calls out “Jacket” and some orderlies rush in, wrap Kyle in a straitjacket, and usher him out in the span of about 5 seconds. As Kyle disappears into the back, Cartman calls out (sincerely?), “Bye, Kyle. Happy Chanukah!”
They’re all convinced this play will be amazing, an absurd expectation of any 3rd grade play.
It’s now time for the Christmas play and Mr. Garrison is making sure all of the kids have their leotards on. There’s a rather large crowd of people for an elementary school play, but they’re all pretty invested in this play now to make sure there’s no offensive imagery. The crowd is excited for the play to come and Sheila insists it will be great as a result of their meddling, though she’s sad Kyle isn’t there. We cut quickly to Kyle who’s in a padded room just singing The Dreidel Song over and over to himself indicating that maybe he is crazy? Back at the play, they’re ready to start until someone points out a star hanging above the stage as offensive to non-Christians. When Jimbo replies with a “Aww, come on,” the man shouts back not to force their beliefs on him. Randy, Jimbo’s brother and Stan’s dad, chimes in that he’s in agreement with the random guy and the star needs to come down.
Once again, Kenny is forced to stare death right in the eyes.
Mr. Garrison once again turns to Kenny. As Kenny gets ready to ascend a rickety looking ladder to remove the star, Garrison reminds him to avoid the shark tank they have for the third act of the play and the ominous strings come in again. Do I need to remind the reader that, up until now, Kenny has died in every episode? I guess I should since I don’t think they do that anymore. As Kenny attends to this task, the MC welcomes Chef (Isaac Hayes) onto the stage to sing a non-offensive Christmas song. As Chef sings, Kenny has to reach for the star and it looks like he’s going to fall, but ends up removing the star without incident. As for Chef, the gag here is his song is fairly explicit as it’s about making love down by the fire and it’s a holiday version of his “I’m Gonna Make Love to You, Woman” song he’s sung before, but since he doesn’t reference Jesus or Santa, everyone is seemingly cool with it.
Big surprise – the play sucks!
With Chef’s song over and Kenny out of peril the play can begin. The MC introduces the composer and lyricist for the play: Philip Glass. The play begins and the kids are all in gray leotards just sort of milling about on stage while Glass plays at his synthesizer. The lyrics for this performance are: “As I turn and look into the sun/ the rays burn my eyes/ How like a turtle the sun looks.” Sheila starts complaining about how horrible the play is while the priest declares it the most God-awful piece of crap he’s ever seen. Mr. Garrison blames them for making the play this way which causes the priest to get defensive and blame the Jews. Kyle’s dad points out they didn’t demand they remove Santa while another person cries out “All you bastards ruined Christmas,” which sets off a brawl.
There was a lot riding on that play, and those kids failed.
The kids just watch this scene unfold feeling pretty crappy about it. Chef comes over and asks Stan and Cartman where Kyle is and they tell him they had to commit him. When Chef asks why, Cartman explains it’s because Kyle kept seeing some little Christmas poop everywhere he went. When Chef responds, “You mean Mr. Hankey?” Stan says “Uh oh,” in realization that maybe his friend isn’t crazy after all.
This is the wholesome, holiday, content you came here for, right?!
We head into a commercial break, only it’s a fake commercial for a Mr. Hankey play set. A live-action mom walks in on her two kids who are bored causing her to pull out the Mr. Hankey Construction Set. The announcer, Trey Parker, explains you select your “best” Mr. Hankey from the toilet with the included net and go from there. The boy proudly proclaims he made a mariachi Mr. Hankey while the girl makes a Mrs. Hankey. The boy suggests they put the fez hat on him while the girl just says to her mom “I wish daddy were still alive.” This causes the bouncy soundtrack to drop for a moment before resuming again as Parker returns as the pitch man. The fake commercial depicts Mr. Hankey as a clay construction and the kids are covered in Mr. Hankey’s signature skid marks. It’s pretty damn gross. The commercial ends with the mom asking what happened to Mr. Hankey and we pan to see a baby in a high chair who has apparently ate Mr. Hankey. The kids and mom all laugh innocently while the girl declares she loves her mom.
So Kyle’s box of shit has just been hanging around backstage this whole time?
Back at the auditorium, the battle wages as the kids are despondent that they didn’t believe their friend. Chef reasons there’s still time to set things right and the kids one by one all declare that they believe in Mr. Hankey. The magic of their belief summons Mr. Hankey with a “Hidey Ho!” Suddenly, they all can see him and this is where Cartman utters his catchphrase “Screw you guys, I’m going home. Talking poo is where I draw the line.” Chef gives Mr. Hankey a brief rundown of the situation. This looks like a job for Mr. Hankey! He shouts for everyone to stop fighting which works because if a living piece of shit tells you to do something you listen! The mayor demands to know what the hell that “thing” is as everyone looks to the poo for guidance, and Mr. Hankey delivers:
Sometimes in order for a message to be received you just need to hear it from a poop.
Come on gang, don’t fight. You people have focused so hard on the things wrong with Christmas that you’ve forgotten what’s so right about it. Don’t you see? This is the one time of year we’re supposed to forget all the bad stuff, stop worrying and being sad about the state of the world, and for just one day say “Oh the heck with it. Let’s sing and dance and bake cookies!”
A hush falls over the crowd leading to a slow clap. It starts with Kyle’s dad and soon everyone joins in with applause. Stan then surveys the situation with a “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here,” which will be a running joke in Christmas specials to come from South Park.
Now Kyle gets to experience what Charlie Brown did.
We cut back to Kyle in his padded cell. He’s singing his lonely Jew song again until Mr. Hankey appears through the barred window. Kyle declares he’s still insane at the sight of the Christmas poo and starts singing The Dreidel Song again to cure himself. Mr. Hankey insists to Kyle that he’s real and this time he brought some friends to prove it. Somehow, Kyle is able to get himself up high enough to see through the bars to find the whole town of South Park gathered outside the hospital. They respond in unison, “Merry Christmas Kyle Broflovski!”
Watch out, Kyle, he’s coming in for a kiss!
An overjoyed Kyle is allowed to leave and goes out to join in the revelry. People are holding candles and sporting festive attire once more seemingly casting aside all of the silly regulations imposed by the mayor. Kyle takes his rightful position between Stan and a returning Cartman as the whole crowd sings the Mr. Hankey song which goes:
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo / He loves me, I love you / Therefore vicariously he loves you / Even if you’re a Jew! / Sometimes he’s nutty, Sometimes he’s corny / He can be brown or greenish-brown / But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve / He might come to your town / Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo …
Don’t worry, there’s always time for a Santa moon shot!
Mr. Hankey chimes in at that point to tell everyone it’s time for him to be on his way. He jumps into the night sky as Santa Claus flies by, past the moon, with a “Howdy ho ho ho!” to pick him up. As he leaves, Cartman cries out to Mr. Hankey that he always believed in him and to bring him lots of presents. Stan then says to Kyle, “You know, I learned something today. I learned that Jewish people are okay and that Chanukah can be cool too!” Kyle then remarks that something feels missing and the other boys agree each saying basically the same thing. Everything goes quiet as all four look in Kenny’s direction. There’s a drum roll and the words “The End” appear over them causing Kenny to cry out “Woohoo!” The credits roll, but are interrupted as we head to a public access building. Inside, Jesus (voiced by Stone, who is a character on the show and hosts a talk show) is all by himself at a birthday party singing “Happy Birthday” to himself. He blows out the candles and the room goes dark. It’s a funny way to acknowledge that in the universe of the show, Jesus is real and alive so most of the debate surrounding how to celebrate Christmas shouldn’t exist.
Congratulations Kenny, you finally made it!
And that’s the end of the very first South Park Christmas episode. Or is it the second following The Spirit of Christmas? Actually, there were two versions of that short so maybe it’s the third? Ahh, who cares? This was the first one broadcast on Comedy Central and it holds up well. Kyle feeling like an outcast at Christmas is understandable since his family is literally the only Jewish family in the whole town. His friends are 8 and lack empathy so he gets zero support from them while the adults in his life seem ill-equipped to talk with him about it.
Apologies to Jesus.
Because Kyle is seemingly all alone at Christmas, he turns to his imagination: Mr. Hankey. From there it’s a bit of a conventional plot of “Is Mr. Hankey imaginary or truly real?” leading to awkward moments for Kyle where he thinks he’s in a position to prove the character is real, only to be letdown. The obvious twist here is that Mr. Hankey isn’t some traditional spirit of Christmas, but animated poop. Mr. Hankey feels like a challenge imposed by Trey Parker and Matt Stone to make a piece of shit likeable. And it’s also just funny to see a very wholesome character presented in what many would describe as an obscene manner. Mr. Hankey gets to track poo all over Kyle’s bathroom, slam into Cartman’s face, bathe in Mr. Mackey’s coffee, and finally plant a wet one on Kyle’s cheek. Each time the visual is disgusting since the smear he leaves behind on everything he touches is rather convincing looking. Each time I see this I think I’ve become desensitized to all of the poop scenes, then we get that shot of the turd floating in the coffee and I get a little sick to my stomach.
The other aspect of this special that works so well is it’s very balanced amongst the major players from the show’s first season. We get just the right amount from characters like Mr. Garrison and Chef while Cartman is great in his role of “little shit.” And it’s a bit surprising because we get introduced to new characters in both Mr. Hankey and Mr. Mackey. Mr. Hankey would be boring if he weren’t literal poop since he’s so sweet and kind. Though I do feel it’s a bit of a cheat to have him try to hurt a child in Cartman, even if he was acting like a jerk, just to make it appear like Kyle threw poop at Cartman. Mr. Mackey is a hit in his brief exposure in this one as his mannerisms are almost immediately funny to go along with a ridiculous and unique character design. I do feel like his character was tweaked in later episodes to be more aloof and less mean-spirited since he really rips into Kyle when describing how insane he feels the kid is. The town itself is also a character and I do miss these “small town” vibes the show had in the early seasons. It felt like South Park was insulated from the world, where as if this episode were made today they would probably have Fox News show up to the play and lampoon divisive, political, commentators throughout the episode for it’s “War on Christmas” style plot.
Ugh, that’s the one shot in this one that makes me ill. Future appearances by Mr. Hankey would have to escalate what took place here and they get pretty gross.
As was customary at the time, Stan learns a lesson in the end and spells that out for us and it’s the most benign take-away one could find here which is that “Jews are okay.” Though it felt more benign in 1997, these days maybe it’s more important to say that out loud given the overall rise of anti-Semitism in parts of the world. As for the episode’s real message, it’s the usual “Matt and Trey see something they think is stupid and dismiss it.” In this case, that message is mostly fine as they’re taking aim at the phony “War on Christmas.” They think it’s dumb and I tend to agree with them and it’s a premise that’s easy to have fun with. That approach in later years doesn’t land as well, but it works with this episode.
“Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo” is a true holiday classic at this point. It’s been around for 25 years now to the point where a talking poop isn’t quite so shocking anymore. The songs are almost as well known as the gags at this point, though we have yet to move so far beyond the satire present to hear the Mr. Hankey song played on Christmas radio stations. And I don’t think we’ll ever quite get there, but if not for the profanity, I’d be comfortable showing this one to my young kids because it has a solid message and teaches kids about being sensitive to their non-Christmas celebrating friends and classmates. My son is nearly the same age as the kids of South Park and it is challenging to try and explain to him why Santa Claus would come to his house, but not the homes of some of his friends. And those reasons can vary, and I don’t even know if it’s a question I have an answer for as I sit and type this.
If you want to watch this one this year then you need only pay attention to what Comedy Central is broadcasting this month. If you don’t have cable, this is streaming on HBO Max and is available to purchase digitally in various places. It’s also available on DVD as part of the first season of South Park and was featured on the DVD Christmas Time in South Park, an essential DVD if you’re as into Christmas specials as I am.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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Yesterday, we took a look at the 1992 Christmas special from the third Nickelodeon Nicktoon The Ren & Stimpy Show. Today, we’re basically working backwards and talking about the second Nicktoon to premiere: Rugrats. The Ren & Stimpy Show is probably the most celebrated of the original Nicktoons when it comes to animation circles, but I don’t think there’s much of an argument to be made as to which was the most commercially successful. That honor fell to Rugrats, the Klasky-Csupo original that is still relevant even today. Like Ren & Stimpy and Doug, Rugrats was a show in production basically until Nickelodeon had enough episodes to fill an entire calendar. And it did, because Rugrats aired seemingly all of the time on the network in the early to mid 90s to the point where I feel like I’ve seen each episode from that run a hundred times, and Rugrats wasn’t even a favorite of mine! It was solid though and rarely failed to entertain me as an adolescent, and even as an adult now that has watched the series more than once with my children, I can still say it’s pretty charming. Unlike the other Nicktoons, the success of Rugrats could not be ignored by Nickelodeon and the show returned to production in 1996 followed by a movie in 1998. That film would receive sequels and the show even got a spin-off in 2001 in the form of All Growed Up. And it’s still going today as Nickelodeon airs a new CG version of the series on its network and Paramount+.
Following a successful first season for each Nicktoon, Nickelodeon brought back all three seemingly with the mandate of making a Christmas episode. Two shows debuted a Christmas episode in 1992, though as we saw yesterday, The Ren & Stimpy Show Christmas episode was booted to MTV. Doug would follow with its Christmas episode in 1993. In the years following this episode, Rugrats would become somewhat famous for shining a light on non-Christian holidays. Lead baby Tommy Pickles lives in a mixed-religion household with his mother being Jewish and father some form of Christian. During the show’s hiatus, Nickelodeon would commission two Jewish themed specials for Passover and Chanukah, which was pretty cool. I had some cousins on my mother’s side who were Jewish as the result of my uncle marrying a Jewish woman and I remember my mom actually making it a point for my sister and I to get an understanding of the Jewish religion. Well, the holidays anyways as she bought us a kid’s book or two and even made us watch those specials. I think we even tried to add the Rugrats Chanukah special to our treasured Christmas Tape, but it didn’t record. Probably because we forgot to remove the piece of Scotch tape from the VHS that prevented it from ever getting recorded over. Or, the spirit of The Christmas Tape struck and decided only Christmas specials may appear on it. It’s probably the latter.
Anyway, before that could happen Nickelodeon apparently wanted Christmas to occur so we have “The Santa Experience.” This is one of those rare episodes of the show where both segments are combined into one. Like many cartoons of the era, Rugrats aired in half hour blocks and consisted of two roughly 11 minute cartoons that were unrelated to each other. It often felt like one segment would try to contain the whole ensemble, while the second would focus on just a baby or two with Tommy almost always included. And if you happened to have made it this far in your life without ever experiencing Rugrats, it’s a show about babies. Tommy Pickles (E.G. Daily) is the de-facto alpha baby and most of the episodes seem to occur at his house. He lives with his mom Didi (Melanie Chartoff), dad Stu (Jack Riley), and grandpa Lou (David Doyle). Lou, being a retiree, is seemingly counted on to watch the babies often (despite his narcoleptic tendencies) thus explaining why they always end up at Tommy’s house. The other babies are fraternal twins Phil and Lil (Kath Soucie for both), the cowardly Chuckie (Christine Cavanaugh), and 3-year old Angelica (Cheryl Chase), Tommy’s bully of an older cousin. The babies often go on adventures where they’re relying on their imagination to create the show’s visuals, sort of like Muppet Babies. Often their adventures stem from them misunderstanding something from the adult world with Angelica often pushing them along into a situation likely to get them into trouble or in one where she can take advantage of them.
“The Santa Experience,” revolving around Christmas and all the weird stuff that goes along with the holiday, seems ripe for a Rugrats plot. Tommy, being the youngest, has never really experienced Christmas and his buddy Chuckie, who is 2 and afraid of everything, has some stuff to share about Santa Claus. Meanwhile, the spoiled Angelica is going to see Christmas as the perfect opportunity to get more stuff and if she can ruin things for the babies then that will make her happy too. And for the parents, Didi is pretty obsessed with marking milestones with Tommy and it can be expected that she wants to make sure one of his earliest Christmases is a memorable one. It’s so easy that it’s no wonder why they wrote it!
Tommy has to set his friend straight on this Santa guy.
The episode begins following a normal version of the credits (they did change-up the music, but not really for the better) with an image of snow falling. It’s fake snow because we’re at a mall, and Tommy and Chuckie are waiting in-line with their dads to see Santa Claus. Chuckie is describing Christmas in grave tones and seemingly doesn’t like that the grown-ups all smile more during the holidays. He’s working towards the worst part though: Santa Claus! Tommy, who seemed concerned during Chuckie’s big explainer, laughs when he gets to Santa and tells him that Santa is good because he’s big and fat and brings presents. The kid’s only 1 and he already figured this stuff out.
Angelica is the type of kid mall Santas dread.
The next child is then summoned to meet Santa and Angelica declares it’s her, whether it was or wasn’t I can’t tell. She runs into this makeshift Santa’s village and jumps into the big guy’s lap. We get a closeup of his face as he grimaces indicating that Angelica must have landed on a sensitive area. The Santa (sounds like Michael Bell, who voices Angelica’s dad Drew) then goes into the usual routine and asks Angelica what she wants for Christmas. She tells him that she wants a Luxurious Hair Cynthia doll, which is kind of funny because the defining characteristic of her beloved Cynthia doll is that most of her hair has been pulled out. The Santa seems agreeable to this, but Angelica stops him because she has more. She then lists off a bunch of stuff she wants that’s all designed to sound insane. Something about a nuclear fission game and a real surgical kit are the highlights. As the Santa starts to pushback by telling her that’s a lot, she raises her voice to yell “I’m not finished yet!” You see, the big item she desires is a Deluxe Cynthia Beach House with real working hot tub, satellite dish, entertainment center, and attached garage.
She just shoved that poor elf aside.
She ends her list with a smile while leaving the Santa stammering and unsure of what to say. Obviously, this guy is pretty good at his job and doesn’t want to put that kind of pressure on the kid’s parents as he tries to tell her that’s a very long list of presents. Angelica pushes back and questions why he doesn’t already know this stuff already. He stutters and stammers some more and then Angelic lays a harsh accusation upon him: You’re not the real Santa! She goes for the beard and it’s a fake, a rookie mistake by the department store, and she runs screaming out of the little hut “Santa is a fake! Run for your lives!”
Terrific off-model shot right here. This is the type of thing Klasky-Csupo wouldn’t have been allowed to do on The Simpsons.
We then dissolve on a Happy Holidays banner and find ourselves in the Pickles’ living room. Angelica is opening a “Thanks for Shopping” box that’s apparently full of toys. Phil and Lil ask where she got it and she tells them from Santa Claus. They respond with confusion since it isn’t Christmas yet, but Angelica tells them you just have to know how to work him. Stu, Drew, and Chuckie’s dad Chas (Bell) enter carrying boxes and Drew is concerned for his daughter’s well-being following the incident at the mall. Stu tells him she looks pretty happy to him as we cut to Angelica gleefully ripping open another box and Chas confirms that the store gave her practically every toy they had. Drew is still worried that she’ll be traumatized by the ordeal and it’s not hard to see how Angelica came to be as spoiled as she is with a father like Drew.
The adults just completely ignore the two scared toddlers.
The fathers continue doing dad stuff while Angelica continues rummaging through boxes. She’s extremely dissatisfied with the toys gifted to her and refers to it as a bunch of junk since none of it came from her list. Phil and Lil try to take a peek in one of the boxes and she swipes at them sending them running scared into the kitchen. The boys are seated at the table while Didi appears to be helping Betty (Soucie), the mother of Phil and Lil, with some plumbing under the sink. This is supposed to be a bit of gender humor where the men are just gabbing while the masculine Betty does the manual work. It’s dated.
Best character on the show, right here.
Drew is still fussing over Angelica’s experience while Chas tries to tell him she’ll be fine. He had horrible Christmases growing up and states the best gift he ever got was a rubber glove and tongue depressor. He’s worried for Chuckie and doesn’t want him to have as lame a Christmas as he did. Drew states he wishes he could reaffirm Angelica’s faith in Santa and it’s Betty who chimes in with the idea to rent a cabin up north and have a good old-fashioned family Christmas. Well, not her words exactly, but they sound good to me. Everyone seems enthusiastic at the idea, which is always weird for me since my Christmases always involved going to the homes of grandparents and the idea of just dropping everything to do something else is completely foreign. Didi runs to call a travel agent (and renting a cabin should probably be an impossible task given their proximity to Christmas ) while Stu, who is a bit of a techie, declares he’ll get some lights while Grandpa Lou vows to drink a couple of quarts of eggnog and fall asleep in front of the TV. Now that’s my idea of Christmas!
Angelica is an ungrateful brat, but she is right to complain about getting a Reptar Space Helmet and no Reptar doll.
We return to the living room where Angelica is still upset with the quality of the toys she was given for free. She draws particular attention to a pack of crayons and a Reptar Space Helmet, an accessory for a Reptar doll and not a role play toy, which she tosses aside. In the playpen, Chuckie is playing with some blocks and Tommy his favorite ball while the two resume their Santa conversation. Chuckie stacks the blocks up and then knocks them over to punctuate his description of Santa as someone who breaks into your house while you’re sleeping. Sadly, the blocks do not appear to contain any hidden messages via their orientation. Tommy is still firmly in camp “Santa is Good” and the camera pans over to a dejected looking Phil.
Angelica is so cruel here.
Angelica comes along dragging a massive box of toys and asks Phil what’s up with him? He says he can’t figure out what to get his sister Lil for Christmas, which is a lot of pressure for a toddler. Angelica suggests he get her some crayons for her favorite coloring book which strikes me as a dumb suggestion since I’m sure they already have crayons, but we need this to happen for plot purposes. Phil thinks that’s a great idea, but then gets sad again because he doesn’t know how he can get ahold of a new box of crayons. Angelica is there to wave the box she just got form the store, but when Phil comes running over to grab them she pulls a “Not so fast!” on him. If Phil wants the crayons, he’s going to have to trade his Reptar doll to her for them. He resists at first, but when Angelica declares no crayons for him then, he relents and hands over the doll.
There’s a lot of mopey faces in this episode so far. Didn’t they ever hear “You better not pout”?
Now, you may have thought Angelica just wanted a Reptar doll for that new Reptar Space Helmet she just got, but Angelica is a very cruel child and has other ideas as she spies Lil. In the kitchen, Didi is on the phone with a travel agent and having little luck finding a cabin, which as I pointed out, makes sense. Outside, Drew and Chas are moping on a picnic table as both try to find solutions for their anxiety, Drew wants to restore Angelica’s faith in Santa while Chas just wants Chuckie to have a nice, memorable, Christmas. The two jump up at the same time declaring they have an idea and the gag is they’re supposed to have come to the same conclusion. And they did! Sort of. Chas goes first and says he can dress up like Santa to surprise the kids on Christmas. Drew enthusiastically declares he was thinking the same thing, only when a surprised Chas asks “You were?!” he shoots down the part about Chas playing Santa in favor of hiring a professional actor. Chas seems hurt by this and reminds Drew he played the lead role in their fourth grade rendition of The Wind in the Willows. Drew deadpans, “Chas, you were a tree,” and he points out “I was the willow!” I guess they’re both right.
Not only does she know that she’s a bad kid, she revels in it. Hard to come back from this one, Angelica.
In the living room, Angelica comes upon an unsuspecting Lil and asks her what she’s doing. She’s just sitting on the floor with that coloring book she apparently loves looking a little sad. Angelica confirms that she’s thinking about what to get Phil for Christmas, and Angelica tries to help her think of something by asking what his favorite toy is? Lil then lists off a series of three items starting with blocks and ending with a stuffed alligator that has a missing eye. Angelica says “No” to each one and yells at her after the third suggestion that his favorite toy is his Reptar doll and Lil just smiles and says “Oh yeah!” She’s adorable. Angelica then asks Lil what she could get Phil to go with his doll and we go into the same routine again ending with Angelica calling her a dummy for suggesting a bunch of other things and telling her a Reptar Space Helmet is what she needs. Lil, completely unphased, just smiles and thanks Angelica for the suggestion. We skip the bargaining routine this time and we just see Lil hand over the coloring book in exchange for the space helmet. As Lil walks off, Angelica grabs her Cynthia doll to fill her in on her doings. She outlines this Gift of the Magi scenario and punctuates it with a villainous laugh before confirming out loud “I’m bad, Cynthia, real bad!”
It’s story time with Grandpa!
This is then carried over to Chuckie who insists “He’s bad, Tommy, real bad,” as they’re apparently still debating the merits of Santa Claus. Tommy still insists he’s nice, then Chuckie wishes that he could catch him and show Tommy how bad he is. Tommy thinks that’s a great idea and declares they’ll simply catch him, but Chuckie doesn’t actually want to catch him because that would be scary. They’re interrupted by Grandpa who gathers the kids to tell them about Santa. He gives them the usual rundown, but ends with a dramatic description of what happens to the bad kids: a great, big, lump of coal! He then dismisses it by declaring none of the kids present have anything to worry about, but Angelica looks a bit distressed. Didi then shouts out they got a cabin!
Now she’s having second thoughts.
Later that night, Drew is tucking Angelica into bed, but as he walks out of the bedroom she asks him if it’s true that Santa brings coal to bad kids on Christmas. Drew confirms that’s the case for her without much of a thought as to why she’s asking as he turns off the light and walks out. Alone in her bed, Angelica pulls out Cynthia and tells her she doesn’t care what the grownups say and tries to reassure herself that there’s no way Santa could possibly know about the trick she played on Phil and Lil. Insisting it was a great trick, she drifts off to sleep.
Here comes the coal!
Smash cut to Angelica waking up in the morning. It’s Christmas! She bolts from her bed and runs down the stairs to find her tree loaded with gifts. Her dad appears and assures her they’re all for her and she dives in, but as she rips open the first one she finds a box with a lump of coal in it. She rips open another one: coal! And another: coal! Coal! Coal! Coal! Nothing but coal in each box! Angelica insists that this is impossible and that Santa can’t know about her trick because he’s just a smelly old guy in red pajamas! Santa (Tony Jay) then appears, laughing, but we only see him from a low angle never getting a good look at his face. He tells her that he knows everything and then details that Phil got a new Reptar doll and Lil a new coloring book, and for her he dumps a sack of coal over her. This causes Angelica to wake up from her nightmare screaming. Drew enters to check what’s wrong and she demands he tell her if it’s Christmas. It’s not, obviously, and when she says she needs to see Phil and Lil he sleepily tells her she’ll see them later on at the cabin and urges her to go back to sleep. He shuts off the light and Angelica confesses to Cynthia that she needs to trade Phil and Lil their presents back before it’s too late!
Not pictured are Chas and Charlotte, so are they driving up together with the rest of the kids? That’s an interesting pairing.
That’s normally where the first segment for an episode of Rugrats would end, but since this is a double episode our story continues. They didn’t want it to feel too different though so we get another title card that this time reads: Later That Day. We get a shot of the clan driving up to the mountains. I think this show is supposed to take place in Arizona so I have no idea where they’re actually going or how long of a ride it is. Geography is not my strong suit, but I feel like the implication is they’re heading to Colorado? If so, that’s quite the ride! The adults are singing “Jingle Bells,” and in a sign of the times Tommy is in the front seat of his parents’ mini van. Seemingly all of the adults are in the back, including Phil and Lil’s dad Howard who is making his first appearance of this episode. Missing are the other kids who apparently had to hitch hike their way to the cabin.
No one in their right mind would come down a chimney? Hah! Stupid babies.
Everyone enters the cabin and it sure looks pretty. Angelica immediately goes for Phil and Lil, but before they can talk Betty scoops them up to tell them they’re going to go cut down their first Christmas tree. Grandpa is shown hanging a wreath and manages to strike his thumb with a hammer, which only seems to happen in cartoons, while the dog, Spike, runs past him causing him to fall off a stepladder. Chuckie is still fretting about Tommy’s plan to trap Santa and Tommy reassures him it will work. They then survey their new surroundings to check for all of the places Santa could enter. As Tommy calls them out, like door or window, Chuckie responds with a “Check.” He gets to “chimly” (sic) and Chuckie responds “Chimly?!” and, for once, Tommy agrees with his friend and says “Yeah, no one in their right mind would try to come down a chimly.”
That looks like a standard cordless phone meaning it likely belongs to the cabin. Charlotte must be racking up a massive long distance bill then!
In the kitchen, Chas is show preparing a turkey while we hear the unmistakable voice of Charlotte, Angelica’s mom (voiced by Tress MacNeille) as she’s on the phone with her assistant Jonathan while apparently making cranberry sauce. Angelica interrupts her to ask if it’s okay for her to go chop down a tree with Aunt Didi and Charlotte pauses her conversation to tell her it is before getting right back into it. Stu then interrupts her by saying it’s nice she could join them for Christmas and Charlotte remarks how she loves Christmas for being the season of hope before returning to the phone to shout in a stern voice “We have to crush the competition! Crush them now!” She’s a bit intense.
This sudden sense of conservation on the part of Didi kind of came out of no where.
Betty is shown helping Angelica get dressed for the cold with Phil and Lil as Didi shows up with the axe. Betty confirms she has the permit to cut down a tree while Angelica assures Phil and Lil they’ll have time to talk on the sleigh. We smash cut to Angelica on the sleigh and her scarf has been wrapped around her mouth preventing her from speaking. Betty points out trees to Didi who shoots them down for one reason or another before enthusiastically pointing one out as the perfect tree. When Betty goes to chop it down, Didi jumps in the way as she seemingly has had a change of heart about tree slaughter. Angelica uses this as an opportunity to explain the concept of gift-giving to Phil and Lil with a phony history of how the whole tradition started. As she starts to ramble about the Easter Bunny getting slapped with a lawsuit by Santa over the whole thing, the sleigh she’s standing on starts to slide backwards slowly. Soon it’s soaring down a hill with Angelica screaming, her plans foiled again.
They either got a terrific deal on that tree or were raked over the coals with likely no in-between.
We cut again quickly to a new shot inside the cabin of Stu and Betty setting up a fake tree. It would seem Betty was unable to convince Didi to permit her to chop down a tree, but they all look pretty happy so I guess it’s not a big deal. We then see Tommy and Chucky pushing a log in front of the doggy door, seemingly to thwart Santa, while we see other shots of Didi and Chas decorating the tree. It’s sort of a montage in that the characters are speechless save for the low murmur of Charlotte talking on her cell phone. Angelica approaches the twins, but Betty intercepts them and scoops the pair up. Tommy and Chuckie wrap popcorn garland around a doorknob as another trap and seemingly no adults take notice, while Angelica continues to pursue the twins, who are now in jammies. It’s all broken by the sound of Grandpa howling in pain, for as he went to hang a stocking, Spike barked causing him to strike his finger once again with a hammer. Didi then can be heard calling out “Dinner!”
This looks unsafe.
At the dinner table, all of the adults are chatting and it’s like a dull, indecipherable, roar. Tommy and Chuckie are seated together on a chair and further boosted by a pile of newspapers. Apparently, there was no room in the car for high chairs. Chuckie asks Tommy if he thinks the traps will work while Tommy just tells him that he worries too much. Spike barks at Grandpa, who scowls at him likely still angry about the hammer incident. Spike lowers his head submissively while Grandpa smiles and hands the dog a big hunk of turkey. Charlotte is still on the phone and has a fun slip-up where she instructs Jonathan to add a “Santa clause” to a legal document, but catches herself as she meant to say “Sanity clause.” Angelica asks her Aunt Didi if a hypothetical child tried to make up for a bad thing, but was unable to do so in time for Christmas, if Santa would still bring her coal. Didi just dismisses the concern Angelica has by wondering why she’s so consumed with asking about bad kids when she’s such a good girl. She sounds genuine, which just makes it extra sweet since you know she and Stu probably talk about how spoiled that kid is when she’s not around. Stu then points out that Tommy and Chucky are yawning and Betty declares it’s time to put the “young’ens” to bed which causes Angelica to look dejected and say “Oh no!”
Deck the Malls?!
The parents put the kids in cribs, Tommy and Chuckie in one, Phil and Lil in the other, and leave them. Right as they do, Tommy reminds Chuckie that they have to stay awake. Chuckie clearly would prefer to go to sleep and Phil and Lil already have. As he lays back down, Tommy decides he can rest a little while as he waits for Santa to spring one of their traps and he too falls asleep. In the living room, the adults are singing “Joy to the World” and that’s probably the last thing a group of adults in my family would do after putting the kids to bed, but it’s their party, who am I to judge? Charlotte is still on the phone and she’s basically just boasting at this point about her accomplishments and I question if she’s doing any real work. Chas slips away and goes into another room with a Santa suit as Angelica just walks by without even noticing him because she’s still upset about what she did to Phil and Lil. Chas them emerges giddy and dressed as Santa as he takes off somewhere.
I feel like that is supposed to be a Coke can, but they made it coffee for some reason.
Drew is shown on the phone calling The Santa Experience (how did he get Charlotte off of the phone to make a call, there’s no way this cabin has two lines) which is apparently a company that specializes in doing the whole Santa thing. He’s able to confirm that the Santa act he booked is still on. We then find Grandpa doing what Grandpa does best: sleeping in front of the TV. Angelica is there as well, but she snaps out of her funk when she hears a commercial for a seasonal depression hotline encouraging folks to call-in to talk to someone who cares. Angelica draws an odd conclusion from this and dials a number, the wrong one as she just presses “5” over and over, which gets her connected with Cogs Unlimited which is some guy with what looks like a bunch of film canisters behind him, but I assume they’re supposed to be cogs. Angelica demands to speak with Santa Claus, because apparently he’s someone who cares, which confuses the man on the other end. He tries to tell her she has the wrong number, but Angelica being Angelica, screams and demands he let her speak with Santa. The guy then decides to pretend he’s Santa and asks Angelica what she wants. She says that she’s just calling to confirm whether or not she’s on The Good List or The Bad List this year. The fellow, seemingly still a little salty about her screaming at him decides to tell her she’s on The Bad List before thanking her for calling. Angelica buys it and declares her future as a kid is over, which seems rather dark.
It’s not that Santa is in good shape Chas, it’s that you’re in bad shape. You’re climbing up a ladder, for God’s sake! Not a rock wall!
Outside, Chas is struggling to climb onto the roof, but he gets there and remarks that Santa must be in good shape. The background music seems to play this off like a joke on Chas since everyone knows Santa is a fat guy. Is he actually going to go down the chimney? Hasn’t he seen Gremlins?! Stu is then shown opening the front door with a stack of presents in his arms which causes him to not see one of his son’s traps. He trips over the popcorn string and tumbles over the sound of which causes Tommy to wake up and call to the other babies “Our traps!” They effortlessly free themselves from their confines and race out into the living room, but are disappointed to see it’s just Tommy’s dad.
That would make me scream too. I’m surprised the other adults are so nonchalant about Chas’ little stunt.
Chuckie is relieved to find it wasn’t Santa as the four stand around the fireplace. That’s the cue for Chas to come down the chimney and the sight of him in his Santa costume covered in soot causes Chuckie to scream. Tommy reacts quickly by grabbing a fire poker and laying it across the glass door on the fireplace effectively trapping his buddy’s dad who is now screaming in a panic. This is going well. Stu comes over and frees his misguided friend which causes the babies to all run away screaming. Chas comes out calling to Chuckie that he’s not Santa before sadly adding “It’s just me,” as he removes the hat and beard. Chuckie then stops cowering in the corner to look at him, smiles, and runs over to him embracing his leg. Chas picks him up and now a smile crosses his face as the other adults all say “Aww.” I’ll always have a soft spot for old Chas the single dad just trying to get things right and often screwing up.
Well look who showed up. Why doesn’t this ever happen at any of the Christmas parties I go to?
The other babies then come out of their hiding spots relived it was only Chuckie’s dad. Angelica declares there is no Santa and that she’s saved! You know we can’t leave it at that right? Of course not, which is why the doorbell rings. Grandpa answers it and it’s Santa (Neil Ross) who informs the crew there’s a problem with the chimney. Angelica gulps while Drew comes over to welcome Santa into their cabin, clearly thinking this is the guy he hired, but is it?
What a good shot, the wholesomeness here is causing me to melt!
Santa immediately walks over to Tommy and calls him by his name handing him a present. He does the same for Phil and Lil, but when he gets to Chuckie he asks him “Still think I’m so scary?” Which brings him to Angelica, who greets him with a wide smile and thumb’s up. He hands her a pretty large box and she tares into it to find a Deluxe Cynthia Beach House with real working hot tub, satellite dish, entertainment center, and attached garage! She shouts “I didn’t get a lump of coal!” and Santa responds with a chuckle, then adds “Sometimes trying to be good is as important as being good in the first place.”
I don’t know how I feel about Angelica getting a happy ending, but I am glad Phil and Lil got one.
His task done, Santa bids them all farewell as he exits through the front door. Didi declares it’s almost morning and suggests they all open gifts. I’m guessing she means it’s almost midnight, because it would be pretty ludicrous if they all had stayed up all night singing carols. This also only needs to be said so that Phil and Lil have a reason to exchange gifts. How they got them up there wrapped and all is a mystery that still confounds us all to this day. They’re obviously disappointed when they open their gifts for each other, but once the realization hits what each gave up in order to get the present for the other, they smile and hug. It’s at this point Angelica enters the picture with presents of her own. It seems she finally figured out that trading back with Phil and Lil was pretty stupid and still selfish on her part, so she just gifted them back the things she took. They run over and give her a big hug, and even though Angelica cries out “Eww, baby germs!” she does it while looking pretty happy.
Well, on the bright side Barney, I don’t think you have to suffer through many more Christmases given how you live.
Chuckie then finally admits to Tommy that he was right all along and that Santa was a nice guy. At the same time, Chas admits to Drew that he too was right to hire a professional. Drew agrees and is more than willing to give himself credit for the idea, but a phone call interrupts him. It’s some gray-bearded guy named Barney (Tony Jay) and we see he’s in a bathrobe in his home fetching himself some milk and cookies (he lives his gimmick). He says he’s calling from a car phone and tells Drew his vehicle skidded off the road and asks if they can reschedule the Santa thing? We just hear indecipherable screaming on Drew’s part from the other end as Barney hangs up the phone and says “I hate Christmas,” as he sinks into a lounge chair.
It’s impossible to draw a lump of coal and not have it look like a turd.
Drew angrily hangs up the phone as Chas asks him who that was. He starts to complain that the guy he hired to play Santa just cancelled, but as he says it out loud he realizes just what that means and looks shocked. Chas then asks “…who was that?!” as the two look confused on the couch and we hear the sound of sleigh bells in the background. We then find Angelica seated on the floor gushing over her new toy. She wonders aloud if there’s a car in the attached garage. She opens it and there’s something in there all right: coal! Didi even walks over and asks, “Angelica, is that a lump of coal?” Which just leaves Angelica to look stunned.
We then move to an exterior shot of the cabin and pan up into the sky as Santa flies by, with all eight reindeer, laughing “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” and the trail of stardust he leaves in the sky actually spells out the words “Merry Christmas.” And that’s the end of this one. Of course he’s real!
I’m actually a little surprised that Rugrats went full “It’s Santa!” I suppose they had to given they made it seem like he was fake all episode.
“The Santa Experience” is a bit of an odd episode of Rugrats because it’s light on babies, heavy on Angelica. Angelica has other episodes centered around her, but it’s a little surprising that a big double episode like this one would choose to follow her. And in a way, it makes sense that Angelica, who is famously spoiled, would play a big role in an episode about a holiday known for toys. She’s not the nicest kid, and even Arlene Klasky kind of hated the character, and most probably would just assume she’s going on The Naughty List. That would seem a bit mean-spirited for a cartoon though, so we need to get the full Angelica experience here so we can see what makes her bad, but also what makes he redeemable. Placing her in the center of The Gift of the Magi as the reason for why the sympathetic characters are in the predicament they wind up in and giving her the power to make it right is a rather creative solution. Though I don’t know about that conclusion from Santa. Is simply trying to be good equivalent to just being good? Especially when the good deed Angelica is trying to do is really just corrective action for something awful she did. In that, the episode tries to have its cake and eat it too by giving Angelica what she wants, but slipping in a lump of coal that’s really inconsequential.
Chuckie and his dad are so likable, maybe they should have leaned more into this relationship at the expense of some of the other stuff? As an aside, have you seen the Mother’s Day special? That’s a real grab the tissues watch.
The angle with the adults plays about as big of a role as Tommy and Chuckie’s quest to trap Santa. Neither is that interesting as the Angelica plot takes center stage, but it at least leads to the satisfying conclusion with Santa. The cabin was basically just the easiest way to get everyone under the same roof, and honestly, it’s kind of sweet to see this group of friends be so close that they want to spend Christmas together. It’s also rare to see adults openly talk about Santa as if he isn’t real in a show that is unquestionably meant for young children. This episode might have caught some kids in that sweet spot where they still believe, but are also questioning things, and that ending feels like a reassurance. On the other hand, it probably found just as many kids who weren’t yet in that questioning stage and now suddenly are. If I sound a bit obsessive or nitpicky here, it’s because this is the type of stuff I’m careful to avoid with my kids, especially my youngest. I guess what I’m asking is does it make it okay for a kid’s show to present Santa as fake, only to reveal he’s real in the end? That’s something I personally grapple with, but I could be in the minority.
As for other Christmas stuff, there actually isn’t a lot. Most of the adults just sport their regular attire and the same is true for the kids. It would have been nice to see the babies in some ugly sweaters, but I guess they blew the budget on the new backgrounds for the cabin, mall, etc. I like that the episode’s title ties into The Santa Experience of the show and the final reveal of Barney is pretty comical, and also pitiful. Barney’s not long for this world. The bit with Angelica calling the fake help line feels almost cruel, and yet a touch satisfying since for once it’s Angelica who is having the tables turned on her. How much you enjoy that scene of the guy telling her she’s on The Bad List might be a litmus test for how you’ll respond to her actually getting a present in the end. As for that guy, man is he something. Even if a kid was rude to me on the phone, I don’t think I’d have the heart to play Santa and tell them they’re not getting any presents this year.
Note that there’s only one car, the mystery of how the babies got here deepens!
“The Santa Experience” ends up being a solid episode of Rugrats. I don’t think it’s the classic it could have been though. Klasky-Csupo was right to dedicate a full 22 minutes here, but it still feels a little too unfocused. There’s little riding on the non-Angelica stuff, and while I love the Chas/Chucky embrace and the Santa payoff is nice, getting there just seems to take longer than it should. It just needed a jolt of excitement and that’s really obvious when doing a write-up like this as we keep just returning to Tommy and Chuckie having the same conversation scene after scene. Those two never even talk to Phil or Lil in this episode, or Angelica, which is bizarre. Still, if you like Rugrats and you like Christmas shows then this is probably worth watching each year and it’s pretty easy to come by. It’s streaming on both Hulu and Paramount+ and it’s been released on DVD several times which are probably fairly cheap at this point. And you might as well pair it with the other Nicktoons Christmas specials from the 90s. I guess that means I’ll have to do Doug some day.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
For today’s subject, we’re going all the way back to 1937 to talk about the Columbia Pictures Gifts from the Air. This particular cartoon comes from an era dominated by Disney, Warner Bros, and MGM with a tip of the cap to Noveltoons. The Color Rhapsody Theatrical Cartoon Series is not particularly well-remembered outside of…
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It was just last year that Four Horsemen launched a subline of its popular Mythic Legions brand of action figures called Figura Obscura. Practically speaking, there’s little difference between the two lines as Mythic Legions seeks to serve as a modular line of toys based on myth and legend and that doesn’t feature licensed characters. Figura Obscura uses the same tools and approach, it’s just the character selection will apparently trend towards popular characters of folklore that don’t necessarily conform to the Mythic Legions aesthetic. The first figure was Krampus, and I loved him. The second was the Headless Horseman, and while I didn’t purchase that one, I do admit it looked awfully cool and I was tempted by it. Now, we have the third figure in the line and for it we’ve gone back to Christmas as Four Horsemen have delivered a character to pair with Krampus in the form of Father Christmas.
They sure know how to package a figure over at Four Horsemen.
Father Christmas, Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas – whatever you want to call him, he’s certainly a known character. And he’s a character that has had some different looks and interpretations over the years and is a natural pick for such a line. And Four Horsemen delivered. The figure was announced and solicited basically within 24 hours as it was December 2nd when the figure was teased and it was made available on the Four Horsemen website the next day. I know of some who had more of a Mythic Legions mindset when the thought of a Santa was floated that included armor, battle axes, or maybe a look that resembled a wizard or something. After all, this being just the third figure in the line, expectations could be allowed to go a little wild. For me, I was just hoping for a classic, European, take on the character: robes, a satchel, a ring of holly as a crown. I’m happy to say that I basically got what I wanted. After placing an order that Saturday morning, I had to wait a mere six days to have the figure in-hand and, spoiler alert, he’s a great addition to my Christmas display.
He’s got a hood for when it gets really cold.
Father Christmas comes in the same style of box as Krampus. It’s a window box, but it’s wrapped with a thick, magnetized, cover that covers three sides of the box. Once removed, it can be used as a backdrop or just put back on the box. It has some lovely illustrations on it with a depiction of the character on the front and a quiet, snow-covered, village on the reverse. The figure itself is presented well in the box, but he’s not long for it! Once removed, Santa stands right around the 6″ mark. He’s pretty much eye-to-eye with Krampus and looks resplendent in his red robes. The tailoring on the soft goods coat is impeccable. It fits the figure well and the trim-work on it looks as good as any garment one would buy. Underneath the robe is another purple robe which is secured via Velcro on the figure’s rear. It’s basically just a thin, filler, robe to help hide the ordinary Mythic Legions body underneath which is garbed in leather armor and devoid of paint. That’s fine since he’s meant to be displayed with the soft goods. The headsculpt looks terrific though and he has this massive beard that goes all the way to his belt. The paintwork on the head is well done and I like that 4H used a wash on the hair. And I swear the right eye is shinier than the left to give it a “twinkle” effect. The only other part of the actual figure visible are the hands and feet. The hands are brown while the feet are more of a grayish, gun-metal, color which extends to the greaves that aren’t visible. He has a belt that fastens around the waist rather tight and mine was unfastened in the box, but it goes together painlessly. It’s just prone to popping off when handling the figure which can get a little annoying, but it does fit the figure well.
So are these guys friends? Enemies?
Let’s bust out the articulation on this guy now since it’s going to be the biggest weakness. The head sits on just a big ball so the only movement you get is just the head sliding around on that ball. And since this guy has a massive beard, it means he can’t look down. Range to the side is minimal as well, and looking up is hindered by the soft goods. The shoulders are just ball-hinges and they’re ball-hinges, nothing special. The elbows are single-hinged and swivel while there’s also a gauntlet swivel and a wrist swivel with horizontal hinges. Santa just has two gripping hands and I do wish he had some vertical hinges instead. There is a diaphragm joint, but it’s going to be limited by the robes, but you get some twist there. The hip articulation is fine and Santa can basically do a split if the robes are moved out of the way. He kicks forward just fine, back a little, and has some thigh rotation. The knees are single-hinged and can hit a 90 degree bend and there is a swivel there as well, but the shape of the greaves limit how far they’ll twist. The ankles rotate, hinge up and down, and also have a nice rocker. Lastly, the robe is wired so you can play around with that to create a windswept look and such. This articulation is purely basic and the soft goods hinder most of it, which is fine and expected, as far as I’m concerned. I wish the head worked better, but short of hinging the beard or something I don’t know how it could have been done much better. A joint in the lower neck would have helped, and even though I typically don’t love it, a hinge there would let him look up better. Personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal. The only change I really would have preferred is to have vertical hinges on the gripping hands, but that’s it.
He has a lot of stuff, but he can also store it all which is pretty cool. Well, except for the tree.
The articulation may not impress, but this guy is designed to “wow” with the soft goods and the stuff. And this guy has a lot of stuff. For starters, we have a separate soft goods hood that can hook under the chin. You pretty much have to pull the head off to get in there, but once in place it looks solid. As a hood, it can be tough to get it just right, but 4H included a wire in it so it can be laid down flat very easily and looks great. And if you prefer the hood down look, there’s a pair of holly crowns to put on the figure’s head. As far as I can tell, they’re identical to one another so one is basically just an extra, but it’s well-sculpted and well-painted. You also get a second head and this one has a shorter beard and a fuller face. I suppose this makes him look more like a modern Santa, but I do prefer the shorter beard look and will probably display this one. Mine does have a minor paint blemish near the right temple which is unfortunate, but not something that will be visible from the shelf. Father Christmas also needs a staff and he has this long, gnarly, one that looks like old oak. It ends with a hook and from that a lantern can dangle which also looks fantastic. It’s done with transparent plastic for the glass and paint job on the weathered, “metal,” portion is great. There’s a candle inside designed to look lit, and the only thing missing is an actual light source. There’s also a small evergreen tree that’s basically flocked, which makes it a tad messy to handle. It’s mostly made of green wire and slots into a piece of sculpted, plastic, wood which in turn pegs into a snowy base. It’s not terribly convincing as a small tree, it looks like something one might find with a model train display, but it’s nice for ambience.
He’s got a sack full of toys for all the good girls and boys.
What would Santa be without toys? Not much of a Santa! This guy has quite a few to deliver this year. For starters, there’s a doll that looks like an elf. The red coat has a deep pocket on each side and the elf fits rather nicely into one. For the other, we have a trumpet which looks lovely as well, or he could just hold it. There’s a satchel that can either be hung off a shoulder or over the neck. It’s full of stuff including a bear, nutcracker, book, candy cane, drumsticks, and more. And speaking of drumsticks, they pair nicely with the drum that Santa comes with. It has a chain affixed to it with a plastic hook on the end of it which clips right onto his belt. It’s so well done too that it looks like it should produce sound like an actual drum, but it’s all plastic. Lastly, we have a sack of goodies and some of them are meant to be a surprise so I won’t spoil them. Basically, you have two toys in there and two accessories. The accessories seem like they’re geared more towards the Mythic Legions enthusiast, but that’s all I’ll say on the matter. The sack itself is more soft goods with a rope around the top. The rope is held onto the sack via some brown thread which I like as it makes it easy to secure it. I wish NECA did something similar with the Santa figures I’ve purchased from them as manipulating the bags can be frustrating.
This drum looks incredible, I just wanted to slip in another shot of it.
With the Figura Obscura Father Christmas, I do think we have ourselves a case of “What you see is what you get.” The soft goods means he’s not going to pose all that dynamically, so if you like how the figure looks in pictures here or on Four Horsemen’s website then chances are you’ll like the figure in person as well. And if you do like it, you’ll want to head over there to secure one. Last year’s Krampus did get a re-release in red which was sold elsewhere so it’s possible this figure will follow a similar path, possibly in a green robe. This version though will likely be a Store Horsemen exclusive and once it’s gone that could be it. It presently retails for $60 which is steep, but I think it’s worth it given the quality of the soft goods and the abundance of stuff in the box. I also really get excited for Christmas so your mileage may vary. Personally, I am thrilled to add this one to my collection and I’m already wondering what next year may bring.
Over the years, I’ve acquired quite a few action figures designed by the good people over at Four Horsemen LLC. They’ve been designing figures for companies for awhile now. My first exposure to the company was via NECA’s inaugural line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles based on their appearance in the Mirage Studios comics. Lately,…
We interrupt our regularly scheduled holiday posts with something very familiar to this blog: a toy review! Yes, we have ourselves another Christmas toy to talk about and it too comes from Hasbro. We already looked at a Star Wars toy at the end of November, and now we’re turning to what I suppose is…
The Christmas Spot is just around the corner, but before we can get to there we have a new Christmas action figure release from NECA Toys to talk about: Santa Stripe! NECA has done an admirable job of mining material from the film Gremlins and it’s sequel Gremlins 2: The New Breed, and Santa Stripe…
This one has been a long time coming. One of my all-time favorite television shows is The Venture Bros., but it’s a show I really haven’t spent much time discussing on this blog. I guess because I view it as contemporary, even though the pilot premiered almost 20 years ago now. For most of this blog’s life it has been considered ongoing, but the eighth season of the show ended up being a COVID casualty, or whatever Warner Media wants to blame it on, so it has come to an unceremonious end. As of this writing, a finale is said to be in the works that will someday air on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block, but with how things have been going with Discovery and Warner that finale seems to be very much in doubt. Hopefully, I won’t have to update this to say it’s been cancelled, though it would be nice to have to update it to say it has a release date.
The Venture Bros. began life as a Johnny Quest spoof. Doc Venture, his bodyguard Brock, and his twin sons Hank and Dean travel the world in their high-tech jet and go on adventures. Only with the Ventures, Doc is basically a huge failure who is often just after a quick buck. He gets by on selling his dead father’s legitimate inventions and sometimes to the wrong people. The central theme of the show is failure as Doc Venture isn’t a real doctor of anything who basically fell backwards into the role his dad played (he was a boy adventurer and basically his world’s version of Johnny Quest, though there’s also a character named Action Johnny, it gets confusing) when he died suddenly before the events of the show and he’s basically just treading water. Because of his name and reputation, he has a bodyguard in Samson issued by the government to keep an eye on things. The show’s lore would expand exponentially as it went along and the Johnny Quest spoof was essentially dropped as a result.
This is the rare Christmas special that has two title cards. I couldn’t decide which I liked more.
The show’s first season ended its broadcast back in October of 2004, but waiting for Christmas of that year was a special: A Very Venture Christmas. Cartoon Network had (has?) a notoriously tight checkbook when it comes to its original content and especially so with Adult Swim. They were able to get by with very cheap, but also very entertaining, shows like Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Sealab 2021 in the early days and that basically had a ripple effect on everything that follows. The Venture Bros., being a more traditionally animated show, was also scrutinized by the network due to its costs relative to those other shows even though its animation budget was nothing compared with Saturday morning cartoons or even primetime ones like The Simpsons. It would get better, but that first season especially didn’t look that much more impressive than the rest of the original content airing on Adult Swim.
This one begins with an almost perfect recreation of the old CBS Special Presentation animation.
Because of that, the budget for the special was small and it was so small that it remains the only episode that’s 11 minutes, basically half the length of a standard episode. This made it more like a standard Adult Swim original and there’s another reason for that. Originally, series co-creator Jackson Publick (real name Christopher McCulloch) conceived of the special as being part of a block of Christmas originals to air in 2004. Making this one shorter than usual made sense since it could slot in with the other shows to form an hour or a half hour’s worth of content. He thought he had the network and the other shows onboard, but it apparently all fell apart and the only episode of TV to come of the whole thing is the one we’re about to talk about. It was even supposed to be shorter, but Adult Swim wouldn’t be able to find time for a 7 minute thing and by filling a quarter of an hour it at least worked well enough for them. Partly because of that, Publick doesn’t seem to think much of this episode because it ended up being rushed and the unique running time only adds to that feeling. Other series co-creator, Doc Hammer, is even less complimentary of it saying “I hate that fucking Christmas special.”
Oh no, not another Christmas Carol parody…
This one begins with a spoof on the old CBS Special Presentation graphic. According to Hammer, he got it so close to the original that they had to make some changes because it looked too much like it. This homage has certainly been done a lot since, but this is one of the first I can recall seeing (I think South Park beat them to it). After that, we’re taken to a cemetery in an obvious parody of A Christmas Carol. Doc Venture (James Urbaniak) is being shown his own grave by the Grim Reaper-like Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come and he’s obviously in some distress. When he asks the ghost to confirm it is indeed his grave, despite the tombstone being clearly marked, he throws back his hood to reveal himself to be Brock Samson (Patrick Warburton), Venture’s bodyguard, and responds to him sarcastically since the grave is obvious.
Nah! This isn’t a straight parody of anything, but it is front-loaded with a bunch of quick hits to more famous Christmas specials.
Venture wails and begs on his knees until he wakes up grasping an orange husband pillow in his own bed. He is delighted to find he has woken up and declares he will live in the past, present, and the future. As he says that, we get an X-Ray shot identical to the one from How the Grinch Stole Christmas that shows his heart growing in size until it breaks through the frame. He goes into the Scrooge routine of jumping around and declaring his glee before running out onto a balcony to call out to a boy. The boy is his son, Hank (Jackson Publick), who is clearly dressed to resemble Charlie Brown and is even carrying a sad, little, tree. Venture asks the kid what day is it and Hank responds, “Duh. It’s Christmas Day!” which just further delights this Scrooge-Venture.
Why if it isn’t old Hank Brown and his pathetic little tree!
Suddenly, Venture’s nose glows red and his pajamas disappear as he starts to float. He then soars over the Venture compound like Rudolph wishing a “Merry Christmas!” to all he passes over like George Bailey at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life. He passes by Dr. Orpheus (Stephen Rattazzi), a necromancer who rents an apartment on the Venture compound, who returns the greeting by calling him Mr. Venture. I love that he refuses to acknowledge Venture’s phony doctorate. He also wishes a merry Christmas to the family robot, H.E.L.P.eR., which is dressed as Tiny Tim. After he passes the camera pans over to son Dean dressed as a clown who wonders why his dad didn’t wish him a merry Christmas. The camera zooms out further as Dean (Michael Sinterniklaas) declares “No one wants a Dean-in-the-box!” and we see he is dressed as Charlie from the Rudolph special.
You’re right, son, no one wants a Dean-in-the-box.
The image then dissolves into static and we see Dr. Venture waking up yet again. It would seem he fell asleep on his TV remote causing the channel to just keep changing. At it does, we hear lines from famous Christmas specials like the ones we just saw depicted in the dream. Some of the lines are modified slightly, while others are left completely unchanged. Most sound like they’re voiced by Publick and I do really like his “Thirty-nine and a half foot pole!” chant. Venture then sits up and rubs his head and says “Oh thank God, I thought I turned into a complete [censored],” It’s bleeped out even on the DVD release, but I think he just said “asshole,” but I’m not certain. We then smash-cut to a festive rendition of the traditional show opening. There’s snow falling and jingle bells playing and there’s wreaths and a new red-green color scheme and other festive stuff inserted. It’s very corny and silly, but what can I say, this stuff works on me!
This is extra funny because the Sears Wish Book really would hang around for years. It was as big as a phone book and must-read for kids year in and year out.
When the credits end we find Doc heading down the stairs to the kitchen with a cup of coffee in-hand. It’s apparently no good as he winces when he takes a sip. Brock is on the phone with a store of some kind and he can be heard asking if they have the Joker Mobile in-stock. The voice on the other end of the phone tells him they haven’t had that in-stock for years and he hangs the phone up with disappointment. Doc smiles and asks if he’s still shopping for the boys and Brock confirms he’s all set with Hank, but Dean is proving to be a challenge. When Doc suggests it’s because he’s too feminine, Brock just says he’s hard to shop for, which is sweet of Brock. Doc points out that Dean has been not-so-slyly leaving some Sears catalog laying around for a month and Brock encourages him to check the date on the cover as he holds it up. It’s a Sears Wish Book from 1976, which explains the Joker Mobile thing, and Doc just grumbles that the Green Machine he ordered probably isn’t showing up too as he walks out.
Old man Venture sure enjoys some novelty Christmas pornography.
Dean enters the kitchen to see if Brock is done with the phone. As Brock exits, Dean sees the catalog and asks if anyone misplaced it in a cheeky fashion. His question is ignored, but he doesn’t seem too disappointed by it as he starts dialing a number on the phone. It’s for some Christmas story hotline. As Dean settles in for a Christmas story from Holland, Hank can be seen snooping in a closet. Brock catches him and tells him his present isn’t in there, but Hank tries to dismiss the accusation by saying he was just looking for the Christmas videos. He then pulls out a stack and reads off some of the titles: Miracle on 69 Street, Jingle Balls, and my personal favorite, Frothy the Blowman. We get a quick look at the box art for some of them and it’s rather bawdy. For some reason, Frothy looks like the Pringles guy with a top hat. Brock interrupts him and takes the obviously X-Rated novelty films and tells Hank he needs his help hanging up the lights and hands him a staple gun. Hank twirls it like a revolver and holsters it somehow on his belt as Brock returns the tapes to the closet. As he does, Hank asks him “What were those elves doing to that lady?” and Brock just replies with “They’re called dwarves, Hank.”
Quick! Get out of there, Tiny Joseph!
As Hank goes to head outside he says, “Oh! Baby Jesus is out of the manger!” Brock reacts by checking the fly on his pants, then realizes that Hank was actually talking about the Baby Jesus porcelain doll which is just laying beside a manger scene on-top of a shelf. Hank goes to put the baby in the cradle, but Brock stops him and tells him the baby doesn’t get put in there until midnight. It’s apparently a Venture tradition that Hank forgot about, or just never knew. They head outside and the baby Jesus rolls over to reveal some wiring. The camera cuts to the manger and then to a bunch of C-4 under it!
You must have known we’d get a Monarch sighting in this one.
We immediately hear the voice of the arch nemesis of clan Venture – The Monarch! Monarch (Publick) orders Tiny Joseph, which is revealed to be the Joseph statuette in the display, to get out of there! He mops some sweat from his brow and returns the real Joseph statue to its place as he bails. Monarch is relieved they didn’t lose an agent on this mission, though he does concede that his specialty is rather limited.
He is good at these villain speeches.
In the background, Dr. Girlfriend (Doc Hammer) can be seen trimming a tree with a pair of henchmen. She’s dressed in a festive, girly, Santa suit, and questions Monarch about what he’s up to. Monarch tells her it was supposed to be a surprise, but she’s irritated that his surprise for her is killing his arch enemy on Christmas. Monarch tries to assuage her by saying he has stocking stuffers too, but it’s not working. Dr. Girlfriend, ever the understanding partner, asks him what the plan is since it’s obvious he’s dying to tell her. Monarch then walks over to a model of the Venture compound and explains how at the stroke of midnight during Venture’s annual Christmas party, the baby Jesus will be placed in the manger which is wired with C-4. At that moment it will explode decking the halls with bowels of Venture! He’s really into it, but Dr. Girlfriend just tosses her hat on the floor in anger and says “That model was supposed to be a surprise!” which forces the Monarch to respond in a meek voice, “I peeked.”
They included almost everyone from Season One as a background character for this party.
Back at the compound, it’s night time and the party is in full swing. In the background are basically all of the guest characters from the first season with the exception of Jonas Jr, who was revealed in the season finale. This thing takes place sometime before that. The Impossible family is there, including Sally who looks pregnant, Sasquatch, the old Team Venture, and even one of the lucha libre guys from the first episode. H.E.L.P.eR. is serving drinks in a festive apron and reindeer antlers and some of the guests have different attire, including Triana Orpheus (Lisa Hammer) who is in a crimson dress with holly in her hair. Lurking behind her are Pete White (Publick) and Billy Quizboy (Hammer) as the two eye Triana. It’s rather gross since both of them are adults, and Triana is a minor. Pete is extra gross since he’s wearing a mistletoe headband. As he tells Billy he’s going to talk to her, Billy just tells him he has no chance because he’s 1. Totally gay, 2. She’s hot and he’s an albino, and 3. He’s totally gay. He’s not really gay, but he has a feminine cadence to his voice which makes him the target of gay jokes. This was made in 2004.
You deserved worse, Pete.
Pete and Billy then venture over to the couch and sit on either side of Triana. Pete tries to impress her by saying he was one of the first DJs at his college radio station to play The Bauhaus which causes Triana to say “Wow, you must be, like, 60?” clearly not impressed. Pete ignores the sass and tries to make use of the mistletoe on his headband but it immediately goes up in flames. Dr. Orpheus is the reason for that, and Pete makes a hasty retreat as Triana tells her dad she can take care of herself. He responds in a calm manner with understanding, but drops the façade quickly and declares dramatically to the rest of the party goers that “My pumpkin’s maidenhood is not a prize to be,” further embarrassing the poor kid.
Probably shouldn’t just leave that laying around, Dr. O.
Orpheus leaves his daughter to sulk on the couch and encounters Venture coming down the stairs. Venture remarks that he’s surprised to see a necromancer like Orpheus attending a Christmas party. Orpheus responds that Christmas is about as real as Kwanzaa or the Wookie’s Life Day, but that he finds it charming. Me too, Byron, me too. In the kitchen, we see Dean on the phone yet again listening to another story as Hank enters, sporting a white and green sweater that I think depicts a reindeer, to warn Dean that the “Gay albino is hitting on your not girlfriend.” Dean can’t be bothered as he’s maxed out their dad’s credit card and still doesn’t have a good story. I think the implication is they’re being counted on to tell a Christmas story at this party? Either way, the problem appears to have a solution sitting on a nearby table: Dr. O’s Necronomicon!
The beast approaches!
The boys open the foreboding book and immediately a black cloud emerges. They think nothing of it and start flipping through it and Dean finds an entry that intrigues him: Krampus! He starts reading it aloud and it’s written in another language, which looks like German and would make sense given a joke to follow. As he reads it, we cut back to the party and a bored looking Orpheus is stuck listening to Venture talk about a book he’s writing. Some creepy chanting has been added to the background music as the rest of the sounds of the party fade out. Orpheus’s face then changes to one of worry and he springs into action. A first person shot of something running towards the compound is shown before we cut back to the kitchen where Dean declares this book makes no sense. A lock appears over his mouth as the door slams shut and Orpheus is revealed to be the source of this magic, but he cries that they’re too late!
This dude looks ready to party!
The front door gets blasted in and the Krampus enters! He’s mostly faithfully depicted as a brown-furred demon with a long tongue and a basket of children on his back. This version has very pronounced nipples and we get a sequence of quick cuts of people reacting to the entrance, including Monarch who is watching a video feed. He demands to know who this guy is, but pauses to admire the costume. As Krampus stalks the party, everyone just looks on. Doc asks Orpheus what the thing is and he informs him it’s Krampus. He describes him as a demonic spirit that once rode alongside Saint Nicholas dishing out punishment to bad children. Doc is confused since he though Santa was fake, but Dr. O tells him he was real up until 1963 when a plane took him out. He adds that Krampus hasn’t been seen since the Pope banished him to Purgatory during Vatican II.
Everyone seems rather calm about the whole demon in the room thing.
Hank and Dean, who still has the magic lock over his mouth, emerge to proclaim their innocence in this whole mess when Dr. O tells their father that it was they who released him. As Hank blames Dean, we see Krampus licking the face of Triana. Hasn’t the poor girl suffered enough tonight? Doc asks Dr. O what kind of kinky spirit this thing is and he responds “Well, it is Germanic in origin.” Doc then asks Orpheus if he can “magic” it away and his response is “No more than you can ‘science’ it away,” He then explains it will merely punish those it deems wicked and be on its way.
Now there’s a Christmas card for ya!
Doc insists there’s no one wicked in this house, which is just the cue for Krampus to grab him! He starts flaying him with his reeds with a look of delight on his face as Doc hangs upside down in the grasp of Krampus. The rest of the crowd gasps as Krampus slams Doc’s head into the floor then drops him on all fours and starts dry-humping him from behind. Doc has no idea what to do aside to call for Brock who soon enters dressed as Santa Claus. He informs Krampus that he’s been naughty and promptly swings his sack of gifts at the demon. He knocks him from Doc and begins pounding on him. Krampus gives as good as he gets and the two are locked in fisticuffs when the clock strikes midnight.
He didn’t even get a chance to put his beard on.
Suddenly, Krampus stops and Brock backs off. Dr. Orpheus informs him that it’s now Christmas and the Krampus is done for the night. Krampus very calmly walks towards the door, but pauses when he sees the baby Jesus figurine still sitting on the shelf. He picks it up and we cut to Monarch who was covering his eyes in terror, but immediately perks up when he see Krampus pick up the porcelain baby. He places it in the manger, and we cut to an external shot of the compound exploding.
That’ll wake you up.
Doc Venture, once again, awakes from a dream. Brock is telling him to wake up and we see his head is wrapped in bandages and they’re aboard their supersonic jet, the X-1. He’s relieved that everything is all right, but Brock informs him that they’ve crashed in hostile territory, but the boys are excited because it’s the town of Bethlehem. Doc also presently has no pants on and H.E.L.P.eR. has a thermometer inserted into his anus because it’s funny to wake up with something in your bum. The boys declare this the best Christmas ever because they got to see where Jesus was born and Hank tells their dad that there was magical god-fire shooting out of it. Brock then tells Doc he thinks they hit a gas line, then explains their situation further to be that if the Israelis get there first, they should be fine, but if it’s the PLO then they’re in trouble. Doc doesn’t seem dismayed as he reminds Brock their plane runs on plutonium and declares that the PLO will love them! Dean gets in a “And that’s what Christmas is all about,” before we smash-cut to another title card and the credits roll as this one is over and it’s the rare episode to not feature a post credits scene.
Suddenly, getting assaulted by Krampus doesn’t seem so bad.
And that is how the Ventures celebrated one Christmas. Or, how they didn’t? I guess it was all a dream, though Brock mentions he’s giving Hank his old bass guitar for Christmas and Hank will be shown with that bass in future episodes so I guess some of it came true. It is weird to rely on the dream trope for more than one gag in an episode, especially an 11 minute one, but given that this thing came together so quickly I guess it can be forgiven. Though maybe they could have just written Monarch’s bomb to be a dud to avoid having to play the dream card again? Interestingly enough, the bit at the end with the gang in Bethlehem is actually how the special was originally conceived and it’s one of the few things that survived the change from a 7 minute thing to an 11 minute one.
There’s a solid amount of laughs in this brief special and definitely some quality visual gags.
As a Christmas special, and one that lampoons others, I think this one is fine. I don’t really get why Doc Hammer hates it so much, but he has a very specific sense of taste so I guess I can see him just not being at all onboard with a Christmas special. Especially one he had very little input on. There are certainly moments I don’t like, such as the adult characters hitting on a minor. I suppose it’s not that bad to see such a thing in here because part of the show is that many of these characters aren’t of strong, moral, character, but I feel like Pete deserved more punishment than what he got. Plus, Billy was basically an accomplice and he gets nothing. A lot of the stuff with Krampus and the pornography joke earlier is a bit lewd, or crass. It definitely dates this one as it feels very much like something that aired on Adult Swim in 2004. A lot of the jokes here aren’t something they would have done in later seasons. The gay jokes are the most cringe-inducing, but they’re not as bad as some jokes from that era are.
The animation for this one is pretty much on-par with the rest of the first season. It’s perhaps a bit simpler with some of the character movements, but the effort in presenting a lot of them in different outfits is certainly something to commend. Some of the character animation also saves the more bawdy scenes, like just how happy Krampus looks as he’s violating Dr. Venture. The demon is just so joyful in his work, it’s infectious! The little we see out of The Monarch works too and I enjoy that early series dynamic he has with Dr. Girlfriend.
Part of me wishes they didn’t blow up the compound so that the continuity was more clear, but I suppose it doesn’t matter much in the end.
This special from The Venture Bros. is perfectly fine for what it is. It would have been great to get something longer with a bit more effort put into it, but they did what they could with it. There’s enough humorous lines and visuals and at this point in the season I think the character voices were pretty well established too which helps carry it. The Christmas parody stuff this thing is front-loaded with is also fun and a bit clever as it would have been easy to assume they were just going with a full-blown parody for their special, since many shows have gone that route. If you’re into The Venture Bros., I think there’s enough here to make an effort to watch this one. If you’re not, well you’ll probably be lost since the show is very reliant on the viewer being familiar with it. And if you do want to watch it, the special was included on the Season One DVD release and is also streaming on HBO Max. There’s also a chance Adult Swim runs it at some point this month so you have options.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
All right, we’ve been at this for a few years now so you probably don’t need much of a primer on Bob’s Burgers, right? The animated sitcom which is shockingly in its 12th season (shocking because it still feels new to me) has become a reliable spot for Christmas fun each and every year. The…
After yesterday’s horrid feature, I feel that today calls for a Christmas special that’s actually good. And in order to satisfy that desire, I’m heading for Arlen, Texas for our first look at a special from the animated sitcom, King of the Hill. Back when King of the Hill premiered on the Fox Network in…
It’s a battle for the hearts of children around the world! What is the superior holiday: Halloween or Christmas? Today’s entrant is founded on the premise that Halloween is the only holiday to rival Christmas as far as what children look forward to most. This feels more or less on point as a kid…
When I was a kid growing up in the 80s The Berenstain Bears was a popular series of books that usually imparted a simple, clear, message. I seem to recall a fire safety book being a go-to in school for fire safety week and I know I got a copy of one about not eating junk food from one of those Scholastic catalogs they just gave out in school. Isn’t that kind of shitty? Schools would just send kids home with catalogs for books and similar products that they could bring back to school with a check. A few weeks later, the class would come back from lunch or recess and there would be books and things on some desks, but not others. Basically, each class got to figure out which kids were the poor kids through these things and there was probably a bit of peer pressure on parents to let their kids get in on the fun. I did okay in that sometimes I was allowed to get a book, and sometimes I wasn’t. And when I did it was pretty great, but when I didn’t it left me feeling pretty down. Even though a book is something I’d look at for a day or two and then forget about it. Oh, and they still send those things home with kids today.
Tangent aside, The Berenstain Bears were a favorite of mine as a kid and I think my sister as well. We mostly interacted with them via the library which also had tapes of the cartoon series available to rent. I don’t remember ever watching the show on live television in the 80s, but I do remember renting it and really liking the main song. I had no idea that in the previous decade the franchise first made the move to television in a very similar fashion to Charlie Brown which came about via the animated holiday special. The very first of which debuted in 1979 and was called The Berenstain Bears’ Christmas Tree.
When you want to unveil a new IP in tandem with a holiday it’s never a bad move to go with Christmas. Christmas more than any other holiday just demands we all stop and take notice and television networks love to have Christmas specials on-hand. It’s why a blog like this can exist and have enough material for years on end! The creators of the franchise, Stan and Jan Berenstain, were the ones to seek out a deal and were initially turned away, but they eventually found a partner in producer Joseph Cates. They basically agreed to do the special in the late winter of 1979 and had enough time to write, draw, and animate this thing in time for a December premiere. The Berenstains themselves drew an estimated 20,000 sketches for it that were utilized by the animators and they also wrote the thing, including the song lyrics. It wasn’t based on an existing book at the time, but one would be created the following year to capitalize on the success of the special. More holiday specials would follow before the series was turned into a proper cartoon series for 1985.
I am surprised that I never was able to rent this from the library. I have to assume they didn’t have a copy or else my sister and I surely would have picked a Christmas episode. It’s possible my mom shot us down if it wasn’t that time of year, but either way, I never saw this thing before watching it for this entry. I don’t recall it ever being promoted on television and my memory is that the show aired pretty early in the morning and once it concluded its run in 1987 it was basically done. If it showed up on cable later on I never found it. It feels like a series that would have felt right at home on PBS instead of CBS Saturday Morning, and had it first premiered there it probably would have been re-run for a decade or more. A new series did eventually premiere there, but that was in 2003 when I long had outgrown The Berenstain Bears.
Meet Papa Bear. He’s a dope.
The grammatically correct title of this one implies we’re going on a quest for a tree. I remember next to nothing about the actual characters in this series, so this should be interesting. The special opens with an original composition by Elliot Lawrence called “Christmas Day is Here (It’s Almost Here)” which is a pretty confusing title. Is Christmas Day here or almost here? Why not just call it “Christmas Day is Almost Here”? Was there a conflicting copywrite? Anyway, the animation shows Papa Bear (Ron McLarty, who will also play the narrator to come) walking casually through town with a fishing rod over his shoulder and a giant fish under an arm. He has neglected to secure the hook on the rod and it gets into some mischief without him knowing. He first accidentally plucks the beard off of a Santa Bear which makes the kid on his lap laugh instead of cry. It then winds up on the face of another character mid-conversation with someone. The hook then nearly swipes a wreath from Grizzly Gus, but he catches it and glares at Papa Bear as the hook finds his hat and removes it.
This clock might be my favorite character in the whole special.
We’re then taken to the home of the titular family. As the next series will tell us, they live in a split-level tree: Mama, Papa, Sister, and Brother. Apparently, this family finds little value in names. There’s a wreath hanging in a window, but otherwise, the house isn’t very “Christmassy.” That’s because the Berenstains are one of those weird families that waits until Christmas Eve to decorate. The clock strikes two and it’s a pretty cute cuckoo clock as the bird pops out of the bear’s mouth and then gets pulled back causing the bear to lick its lips like it just snacked on the cuckoo bird. The narrator tells us we’re 10 hours away from Christmas and the camera pulls back to reveal Mama (Pat Lysinger) hanging some decorations while Brother (Jonathan Lewis) and Sister (Gabriela Glatzer) sit on a mountain of wrapped gifts. Papa Bear enters and the narrator tells us the fish he caught is a magnificent Christmas salmon! He doffs his cap and says “Huh Huh, I’m home!” and I did not remember him sounding like a dim-witted yokel. He then slips and falls and the salmon goes sliding through the gifts. The kids land on it as it skates into the kitchen where Mama is waiting to open the refrigerator door for it to gently slide into. We then get a shot of the fish from outside the fridge and it’s frowning, but Mama and Papa reorientate the mouth so it appears to be smiling and the whole family smiles around the happy, Christmas, corpse!
Let’s all smile with the corpse!
Papa is then shown digging through a trunk as he prepares for what the narrator calls the most fun of all: the tree! Papa pulls out a tree stand and places it in the center of a room as the narrator romanticizes the subject. He’s infatuated with the Christmas tree being full and fat, and it’s a sentiment this special comes back to repeatedly and it just strikes me as an odd way to talk about a Christmas tree. I’ve certainly used the word full before, but never fat. As the family looks at the tree stand they envision what this fat tree will look like via pine needles overtaking their father and that’s where we get our title card for the special.
This bear has an unnatural attraction to Christmas trees.
When that is done we go back to Papa posing like Captain Morgan on the tree stand as he details his tree lust. He runs to the closet to get out the “hooks” and Mama looks very concerned as he tries to open the door. Brother assists and eventually the door opens to reveal a mountain of junk piled high. At first, it just sits there and Mama bear gives a sigh of relief, which is the cue for everything to pour out. We get to witness this via Mama as it’s way easier to animate a wince than a closet full of contents pouring out onto two bears. We then get a look at a lot of the stuff as the narrator details it. He uses a rhyme and I don’t really like it. Anyway, the best decoration is some gaudy eighteen-pointed star the whole family is real proud of. Papa seems to think this silly star will make all of the other bears want to see their tree, but maybe that’s how it goes every year so who am I to judge? He nearly drops it though as it bounces from Brother to Sister and comes to rest on Mama’s finger. She just looks at the camera (a lot of characters do) with a tired expression.
The bears hold this ugly thing in high regard for some reason.
Papa continues his fat tree fantasy on the stoop as he calls for his cubs. The narrator adds a “…said Papa Bear,” after his command which is just the most useless form of narration. We can see and hear he spoke, thank you very much. Mama Bear (“Wise Mama Bear” according to the narrator) instructs the children to dress warmly as she fears there’s a hint of snow in the air. Papa dismisses her claims because he’s the dumb man in this scenario for he can’t sense any pain in his left, big, toe. The three set out and grab an axe, and despite Mama Bear’s suggestion, they pass up a tree at Grizzly Gus’s in favor of finding their own, but not before Papa Bear accidentally insults Gus and the quality of his trees, though nothing comes of it.
Papa Bear is just another dumb husband character who refuses to take direction from his wife.
The three bears head into the woods, despite Mama Bear’s direction to just buy a tree. The narrator lets us know that, under normal circumstances, Brother and Sister would listen to their mother, but not their dad. Any bad things that happen from here on out are definitely the fault of Papa Bear. The narrator blames this on his tree lust, and Papa Bear reinforces this by declaring he will find the right tree even if it takes a week! Sister reminds him that Christmas is mere hours away so a week they do not have, not that he pays her any mind. This leads into another song, “We Need a Tree For Christmas.” Papa sounds a bit funny singing, and they just detail all of the stuff they’re looking forward to which always comes back to that they need to get a tree first. The narrator chimes in towards the end to remind us that Christmas isn’t all about trees and things, but giving, and blah blah blah.
Behold! The perfect tree!
The bears soon come upon a lovely, fat, tree. They drink it in while the narrator sounds like he’s salivating at the sight. Papa Bear declares it the perfect tree, but as he readies his axe, Sister notices something. A mailbox placed at the base indicates this tree belongs to a skunk. We then see it’s also the home of squirrels, chipmunks, and crows. Papa Bear obviously isn’t malicious, so he doesn’t cut it, but the crows in the tree aren’t so easy to forgive. The bears are forced to run as they’re chased by a literal murder. We then pivot back to the tree as the narrator reinforces, rather needlessly, that this tree means more to its inhabitants. The skunk is shown opening its mail which contains a Christmas card from its mom and dad. All of these animals seem to be as smart and sentient as our bears, but they see no point in clothes. Fair enough.
…or not!
The bears march further and further into the woods in search of the perfect tree. Papa Bear vows to find the perfect tree and the animation details his proclamations. He’ll cross rivers, conquer the fog, sail over Niagara Falls on a log – yes, he does make it a point to rhyme. He reiterates his vow to find one if it takes a week as he is just blinded by his compulsion. I’m finding it hard to like this imbecile. He even ends his series of vows with a “Just as sure as my name is…uhh…” as he has to ask his son to remind him what his name is. This guys is dumber than Homer Simpson, and possibly more negligent.
Not only is Papa Bear incapable of focusing on more than one task, he’s pretty delusional as well and fancies himself some sort of Christmas tree hero who will have to battle all kinds of evil to get what he wants.
Papa Bear trips over a stump which stops him momentarily. It grounds him literally, and then his kids are there to ground him figuratively as they remind him it’s getting late and they need to find a tree soon. The old bear still shows no concern for their well-being even as the snow begins to fall. The kids follow him up a mountain as the three resume their tree-hunting song while the snow falls harder and heavier. They sing about the stuff they’re looking forward to which includes Sister fantasizing about sardines in a cherry sauce, but when Papa Bear mentions chocolate-covered snails that’s the point at which the kids are disgusted. I don’t know, cherry-flavored sardines actually sounds worse to me than chocolate-covered snails. I mean, I don’t want to eat either, but if I had to choose I might go with the snail.
Mama Bear probably runs when Papa Bear gets this look in his eyes.
Papa Bear tells us that a tree with all of the trimmings is what Christmas is all about. He gets “tree eyes” once again as he spies the new perfect tree. Positioned on a ledge, the lone pine entrances both he and his cubs. They’re ready to chop it down, when an eagle emerges from the top of the tree. Then a hawk, and an owl, and you get the idea. This one is inhabited as well so they can’t cut it down. Worse, these birds are even less forgiving than the crows. The eagle especially dive bombs the crew and snatches the axe. It soars into the sky and even poses like the image on the back of a quarter complete with the appropriate Latin verse, before it dives at the bears with the axe! That’s a pretty frightening sight, but the eagle is a bit unconventional in that it spins the axe like Thor and his hammer and whips it at the bears where it harmlessly strikes a stump.
When eagles start dive-bombing you with axes you know you screwed up.
Papa Bear tries to save face by claiming that tree was no good, it was too green, as he pulls the axe out of the stump. Now the snow is really falling hard, and it’s dark. Papa Bear is still enthusiastic, but the kids seem like they’re faltering as he leads them up another mountain only now in waist-deep snow. The kids are literally falling backwards because the hill is so steep while Papa Bear continues to fantasize about a thick tree. His eyes then catch another tree and it looks almost exactly the same as the previous one. It’s again another tree on a cliffside, but I don’t think it’s the exact same image. Regardless, Papa Bear approaches the tree intent on cutting it, but wouldn’t you know – it’s home to some birds. This time, the birds are literally inside the trunk of the tree and there’s a window and lighting inside making it more like the tree the Berenstains live in. They’re a family that’s basically the bird version of the Berenstains right down to the choice of clothing. They’re decorating a twig for a tree and, at first, are frightened by the giant bear eye in their window, but they respond with a “Merry Christmas.”
Another tree, another home.
Papa Bear is forced to just smile and wave. He’s finally ready to give up on this dream of cutting down the perfect tree for he’s reminded of what Christmas is all about. The kids are a bit dismayed, but he tells them they’ll just get a tree from Gus. The kids seem apoplectic at the thought for some reason, but Papa ignores them and finally uses that axe for something good when he chops a stump into a trio of skis. Papa, Brother, and Sister put on their makeshift skis, and the craftsmanship is actually quite nice for a bear with just an axe, and head down the mountain. The score from the opening song accompanies the bears down the mountain as they avoid death here and there. They go off a cliff which sends the three rolling the rest of the way. They all acquire a bunch of snow to form three balls, then a snowman with Sister’s face sticking out. It looks comical enough, but the ending of the sequence is awkward as it just sort of floats towards the screen looking like South Park animation.
Now we’re in Wacky Town.
The snowman smashes into the sign for Gus’s tree farm and the snow falls away from the bears within. They’re immediately saddened to see that Gus is gone and so are his trees. He sold every one of them which may be the most unrealistic part of this special featuring anthropomorphic bears on a hunt for the perfect Christmas tree. Dejected, the three hang their heads and head for home cold and tree-less. Once they get there though they witness a glorious sight!
Well I’ll be damned…
Their home, which in case you forgot is an actual tree, has been decorated with all of their many decorations. And the decorators? Why, it’s all of the animals they very nearly inconvenienced along the way. I don’t know how they got all of the decorations out of the house, did the murder of crows fly down the chimney and grab them? Did someone knock on the door to get Mama’s attention? I suppose it doesn’t matter as the treehouse is all aglow and looks pretty spectacular. The eagle even puts the eighteen-pointed star in the center of the…roof? Canopy? Whatever.
Turns out, they had the perfect tree the whole time!
Mama Bear joins her family outside to gawk at the marvelous tree. She seems surprised which, again, just makes me wonder how this all happened, but I’m trying to dismiss that. Papa Bear points out the star on top, but the narrator tells us they’re not looking at the plastic one, but the spectacular Christmas Star flashing in the sky high above. And as Papa had predicted earlier, all of the other bears turned out to see their tree. Then Mama decides it’s time to sing again as we move into the final song, “The Christmas Star.” It’s just a generic song about Christmas being for everyone and we get lots of shots of animals putting their arms around each other. Sister even pops in to say Christmas is for people too which just raises further questions. Do humans exist in this world? Her suggestions seems to confuse Papa, but what doesn’t? Mama puts the bow on the song by saying “Merry Christmas to us all, fellow creatures one and all.” The camera zooms out to show the crowd around the tree and the star above.
I do enjoy a good post-Christmas carnage sort of shot.
That last shot felt like the one to go out on, but we’re not done! We then head inside the house and it appears to be daylight now. The camera pans across a bunch of Christmas stuff inside and empty packaging – the wreckage of Christmas post gift exchange. The kids aren’t playing with their new toys though as we find the family in the kitchen getting ready to eat that Christmas salmon. As Papa readies his knife, Sister points out the lesson from last night about thinking about others and wonders why that doesn’t extend to the poor, dead, salmon. Papa and Mama are surprised and a bit stumped by this question, but Papa Bear just adds “…in the case of the salmon, we’ll make an exception.” Yeah kid, we’re eating this fish! We’re then shown another external shot of the tree at night as the credits roll.
Christmas is great when you’re not at the bottom of the food chain.
The Berenstain Bears’ Christmas Tree isn’t quite what I expected. I had absolutely no recollection of Papa Bear being such a boob. Was he in the books? Or in the show that followed? I don’t know, but it was hard to get into for some reason. I found myself annoyed by him, and maybe the rhyming pattern didn’t help matters, even though I don’t place any fault with him wanting to cut down his own tree. I do the same each year because they last longer, but I also go to a farm to cut mine down. I don’t go searching in the woods. One would think the bears of this world would be accustomed to all of the nice trees being inhabited by other animals and would thus be discouraged from undertaking such a task, but again, Papa Bear is an idiot so maybe that’s obvious to all but him?
The other characters really don’t make much of an impact. This does remind me of some early episodes of The Simpsons where Homer is in the lead and the rest of the family has very little to offer. At least in their debut Christmas episode we see Bart pranking a mall Santa (his dad) which gives us a glimpse at the type of scamp he is. This special really does nothing for the kids, while the mother is allowed to convey some of her personality via her facial expressions. Which brings me to the animation which is pretty solid. No, this is unlikely to truly impress, but the main characters emote well and there’s a few flourishes here and there like Papa excitedly moving his toes in giddy anticipation. They do fall back on repeated gags, like Papa’s tree eyes, that takes away from the fun of the visual through too much repetition. It also tries to do something a bit more “out there” with the ski sequence, but it doesn’t pull it off.
Papa Bear is a Grade A boob. He cares about trees and salmon, possibly in that order. Is he the original moronic cartoon dad?!
The audio portion is also a mixed bag. I found the characters to be well-cast at least. Papa Bear took a minute for me to get used to as I wasn’t expecting this “Golly Gee” kind of character out of him. He’s basically a bumpkin, and in hindsight, I suppose that makes sense given his attire. Brother and Sister are fine and what little Mama says also works. Only a few of the animals actually say something with the rest of the cast being mute. The narrator did feel superfluous to me, but given they were adapting a children’s book property for animation I can see why they went in that direction. It just strikes me as a crutch though and one that’s not needed if the visuals work well (and they do). The music is mostly jaunty, though a little repetitive. None of the lyrical portions of the songs did much for me, but they don’t offend. I’ll always award some bonus points to a special that doesn’t recycle public domain music, especially if the end result isn’t something annoying.
The other aspect of this special I wasn’t so sure about going into it was the age range. I associate The Berenstain Bears with my preschool days so I thought I might get a preschool vibe from this. I’m happy to say that I did not. Not that we’re courting a teenaged or adult audience here, but it’s pretty comfortably G rated, if you will. It tried to be funny and convey a generic Christmas message, and it’s only so-so as a result. G-rated for content, C-rated for quality. If you grew up with this stuff, it might be worth a look for the nostalgia or if you have little ones that are currently into The Berenstain Bears. Though in that case, probably try and steer clear of the new stuff as the current version of the family has basically been taken in an ultra-conservative direction by the offspring of Stan and Jan. A message of Christmas for everyone is probably not something you would get out of the property today. The special streams for free on YouTube and has been released multiple times on DVD and VHS for you physical media types. If you’re an adult with little or no connection to this franchise, you’ll probably be content to continue ignoring it.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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Alvin and the Chipmunks is one of the oldest, family-owned, pieces of intellectual property left in the world. And it might not be for much longer as the franchise is reportedly up-for-sale and has been since last year, but as-of this writing nothing has been agreed upon. The Chipmunks date back to the 1958 novelty song “Witch Doctor” written and recorded by Ross Bagdasarian. Technically not the first Chipmunks song, but it did feature the same high-pitched, squeaky voiced characters the franchise would become known for. The true, real, debut of the trio came in the song “The Chipmunk Song” later in 1958 which is also titled “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late).” That song is when the chipmunks were given names and Bagdasarian also assumed the persona of David Seville, who would come to be known as the group’s manager and adoptive father.
Following the success of that song came a media empire. The Chipmunks recorded additional novelty songs and would be featured in comics, television, and even movies. The Alvin Show, which premiered in 1961, basically established, or confirmed, that Alvin was the alpha chipmunk of the group and the one the franchise would center around. And thanks to that show as well as the 80’s revival is why a whole generation of people (like myself) actually think of the franchise as Alvin and the Chipmunks as opposed to just The Chipmunks.
In 1972, Bagdasarian passed away suddenly from a heart attack at the age of 52. His son, Ross Bagdasarian Jr., eventually took over recording duties for the group, but their star had waned by then. Thanks in part to reruns of The Alvin Show, the group never completely faded away and come the end of the decade NBC was ready to do something new with Bagdasarian which is how we got A Chipmunk Christmas. For the trio’s return to television, Bagdasarian went back to their roots and produced a special that incorporated the classic song where it all started. The special isn’t an adaptation of the song in the same sense that Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is, but it does feature the “recording” of it and it’s certainly an easy thing to leverage. Given how the Christmas special took off as a thing in the 60s, it’s actually surprising that we didn’t see this special until 1981 given the popularity of the song.
The chipmunks retain their look from The Alvin Show, but with a little Chuck Jones mixed in.
A Chipmunk Christmas is a joint venture between Bagdasarian Productions and Chuck Jones Enterprises with direction by Phil Monroe. The newly married Bagdasarian and wife Janice Karman would serve as producers and voice actors for the show with Jones handling direction and design work. Marvel Productions was also onboard as producers with NBC set to broadcast for Christmas 1981. A Chipmunk Christmas, as well as the album Chipmunk Punk released the previous year, was a re-introduction of the franchise to a whole, new, audience. In 1983, Alvin and The Chipmunks would debut as an animated series which would air on Saturday morning and eventually in syndication with the franchise’s first film arriving in 1987. It was a big decade for the franchise and it would continue into the 90s before waning a bit, but a lot of people my age know this franchise because of A Chipmunk Christmas and the media it spawned.
A Chipmunk Christmas basically carries forward the designs of the characters established in The Alvin Show. The chipmunks are presented as anthropomorphized creatures that are basically the size of a normal, human, child of the same age. It’s not explained how these chipmunks came to be. There’s no ooze, radiation, or toxic waste involved, they just simply are. Given that show was produced in the 60s for television, the designs were rather simple with Alvin looking almost like a red triangle with a head. For this special, and in the hands of Chuck Jones, the chipmunks were given much softer features. Their cheeks are more defined, they have freckles, and big eyes. Their clothing looks like actual clothing and they were able to animate better than they ever had. They still have the same general aesthetic as the old show; Simon is the tallest, Theodore the chubbiest, and Alvin wears a hat and has a big “A” on his shirt, but they just look much nicer. They would never look exactly like this again as the 1983 series had its own aesthetic which is what was carried forward for the next two decades, but for my money the chipmunks never looked as good as they do here.
In this story, we have ourselves a sick, little, boy suffering from a bad case of Iwannaharmonicitus.
The special begins with a lovely look at what I believe is supposed to be New York City, or a city center of a nearby suburb, all decorated for Christmas while an instrumental rendition of “Deck the Halls” chimes in the background. The background designs for this special are just gorgeous. They’re so textured and intricate, especially the interiors. The camera pans to an apartment building and inside we find a doctor (Frank Welker) and a woman (June Foray) having a discussion. It would seem the woman, Mrs. Waterford, has a very ill child on her hands. Tommy is shown laying in bed asleep. On the wall is a picture of Alvin so we know the Chipmunks are stars in this world. The doctor indicates that he’s done all he can, but they just don’t have a solution for what ails Tommy. His mother says he’s lost interest in his music, which is apparently something that normally interests him, and he has almost no reaction to his sister’s nightly readings. Speaking of, Tommy’s sister Angela (Janice Karman) sits down to read to him to no reaction from Tommy. Sounds like he has a severe case of plot flu.
Skateboarding down a banister – welcome to the 1980s chipmunks!
The soundtrack switches to “Here Comes Santa Claus” as the camera pans across the city and comes to rest on a large house somewhere outside the city. It’s the home of our favorite rodents, Alvin (Bagdasarian), Simon (also Bagdasarian), and Theodore (Karman in her first time voicing the chipmunk). We find the three getting excited for Christmas, and given the darkness, it would appear to be very early in the morning. The three want to go Christmas shopping, but first must wake up their father, David (Bagdasarian), who seems uninterested in rising at this hour and really doesn’t appreciate being woken up by his kids skateboarding through the house.
Well, he doesn’t look mad.
The chipmunks bounce on David’s bed which gets him to bounce in the air, his face still heavy with sleep. As he bounces, the three sing “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” and each time David bounces one of the chipmunks follows with an article of clothing. Eventually, David rises from the bed and walks over to a full-length mirror to take-in this new look. He has a pillow on his head, socks on his hands, and a coat on for pants. An irritated look overtakes his face as he recites the boys’ names, “Theodore. Simon. ALVIN,” rising with intensity for each until he practically yells Alvin. It’s essentially his catchphrase.
That’s a good look for you, Dave.
David then reminds them that he knows how many days there are until Christmas as he stomps around. The three boys are shown just laying in David’s bed with their eyes closed the whole tirade feeling quite a bit routine. When they grow tired of David’s ranting, Alvin whips out his harmonica and plays a note which is the signal for the other two to start singing. It’s an original composition, but I don’t know what it’s called or who wrote it as it isn’t featured on the soundtrack. Chris Caswell is credited with the music for this special, but that might not extend to anything with lyrics. As the chipmunks sing David continues his ranting, but eventually he takes note of the song and comes to rest in his lounge chair. In the distance, we can see the sun is now rising as David sinks into the chair and remarks that the song sounds pretty. The song ends with a line about gifts under the tree and Alvin adds a solo embellishment of, “…and I hope the rest are for me!” Fade to title card.
Alvin’s anger about having to work does raise some good questions about how this whole arrangement works.
After the title card, we cut to the boys sharing a skateboard and David strolling behind them as they head into town. Alvin is angry with Dave for making them work on their Christmas vacation, but David insists it’s just a short recording session. Alvin rightly retorts with “It’s work!” Remember kids, no matter how much you love your job in the future, work is still work. Is this exploitive on Dave’s part? Hard to say. They are, after all, chipmunks which normally would live outside in trees so having a nice, warm, house and all they need is certainly a good gig. On the other hand, as we’ll see later, they live in a pretty large house and yet all three share one bedroom. What the hell, Dave? Yeah, I think he might suck. Anyway, during the course of the conversation Alvin is reminded he left his precious harmonica at home, so he turns his legs into an airplane propeller and flies home, grabs it, and flies back. It’s this weird running animation that we’ll return to more than once.
Alvin feels the need to introduce his harmonica to the store display model.
As a solution to their problem, Alvin proposes that while David gets the studio ready that he and his brother do some window shopping, which Dave agrees to. As they speed away he reminds them, “Don’t be late!” The boys skate into town singing their own version of “Jingle Bells” that’s at least a bit charming, if not exactly an improvement over the standard version. We pan to a mall and dissolve on an image of a display for the Golden Echo Harmonica. Have you ever seen a gaudy store display for a harmonica before? I certainly have not. Alvin stops to look at it and whips out his own version of the harmonica, so it would seem this won’t be a story about Alvin desiring one of these. As he “shows” his harmonica to its brother, Alvin hears a voice calling out about it. He ducks, for some reason, behind the display as we see the voice belongs to Angela Waterford. She’s shopping with her mother and points out the harmonica and says it’s the thing Tommy wants more than anything. She begs her mom to buy it for him, but she reminds the child they can’t afford it. The girl wails that “Tommy will just die without it!” Her mother tells her not to talk like that and then says it will take all that they have to make sure that Tommy makes it through Christmas.
Alvin just isn’t feel it right now.
We then cut to the pair walking on the city streets and it’s already getting dark by the looks of it. Angela is asking her mother what she meant about that comment regarding Tommy making it through Christmas, but her mom is non-responsive. Alvin is lurking in the background as he’s apparently stalking the pair. As we zoom in on his sullen expression, the background dissolves to the recording studio. The chipmunks are performing their signature song, but Alvin is too sad to sing. Dave stops the recording to tell Alvin he’s a little flat, who proposes they take a break. When David sarcastically responds, “Take a break,” Alvin takes this as an agreement and runs out. As he does, his feet spin like a propeller once again and that whistling run animation from earlier returns.
I don’t like this.
Alvin races over to the home of the Waterfords, the weird run animation is utilized the whole way which makes him look like he’s floating over the streets as opposed to running on them. He arrives and Mrs. Waterford wakes Tommy to tell him he has a visitor. When Alvin is introduced, Tommy sits up and says, “Oh, hi Alvin!” like they’re buddies and not like this is an impromptu visit from a celebrity. Alvin somewhat clumsily explains to Tommy that he’s here as a delivery boy and says someone entered his name into a contest and he won. His prize? A Golden Echo Harmonica! Tommy is overjoyed to receive such a gift and his mother gives her daughter this side-eyed look with a sly smile. I don’t think this is the conclusion I’m supposed to draw, but it almost looks like she’s saying to her kid, “Hah, see? Our plan to get the chipmunk to gift him the harmonica worked, now we don’t have to buy it!”
A present for Tommy. Smells like chipmunk spit.
With his delivery completed, Alvin informs Tommy that he has to run and he resumes his odd, whirling, run animation. We cut back to the studio and a voice can be heard informing David that his time is just about up. David reluctantly decides to proceed with the recording and indicates they’ll dub Alvin later, but as the boys start to sing Alvin comes running in and nails it. David throws his hand up in the air with exasperation, but then settles into a smile as the boys perform. The song is allowed to linger for a bit, not ending until the boys actually since the line, “Please Christmas don’t be late.”
How chipmunks trim a tree.
At the Seville house, it would appear to be the next day. Dave is then shown answering the phone and remarks to the man on the other end that “It’s not too late to talk business,” so I have no idea when this is supposed to take place. It’s not even dark out. The boys are decorating the tree and Simon and Theodore can’t believe Alvin gave away his harmonica. When they ask him if he told Dave, Alvin indicates he has not as he thinks it would break his heart since he gave Alvin the harmonica. He says he has a plan to use his Christmas money to buy a new one before Dave finds out, but of course that’s not going to work. Dave enters the room right after to tell the boys they’ll be performing at Carnegie Hall on Christmas Eve! And best of all, they want Alvin to perform a harmonica solo! I know I always expect a harmonica solo when I head to an event.
I’m surprised this rinky dink setup is so successful with the neighborhood kids. Also, I hate how that moustache is drawn on Alvin.
Now suddenly burdened with a need for money and before Christmas, Alvin starts scheming. The sound of the neighbor’s dogs barking gives him an idea and he whispers it to his brothers. Soon we see Simon and Theodore enthusiastically carrying a chair outside. Theodore and Alvin are then shown in the attic pulling some clothes out of a trunk and it becomes obvious it’s a Santa suit. We then cut to a hastily painted sign that reads: Have your picture taken with Santa Claus and his reindeer – only 25 cents. The dogs are all lined up in a row and playing the role of the reindeer, which none are fit for, but the boys at least put antlers on them. Blitzen looks rather cheeky about something, maybe he farted? Alvin is playing the role of Santa, and Theodore is his elf, while Simon works the camera. When a kid comes over, Theodore uses a rope and pully to lift Alvin up out of the way for the kid to have a seat in the chair and he’s then lowered onto the kid’s lap, which seems backwards. It’s at that point Simon takes the picture. It looks like there’s a design, or animation, error with Santa Alvin as his moustache is drawn coming out of his mouth, but will be fixed in a later shot.
Somehow it’s Dave that always takes the brunt of it.
David is reading a newspaper in his chair when he hears the dogs barking. He goes outside to investigate and immediately looks irritated. He asks Simon what’s going on, who says they’re helping Alvin make money. He probably could have softened that explanation some, and I thought he was the smart one. Dave then calls for Alvin, who has to remind him that he’s to be addressed as Santa. David tells him he’d like a word and now the moustache on Alvin has been moved to under his nose. Alvin doesn’t have time to explain things though and moves over to his seat which is now occupied by a girl, Cindy Lou, who does bare a small resemblance to Cindy Lou Who and I have to believe that was intentional on the part of Chuck Jones. Cindy Lou is not alone though as she brought her cat. When Alvin realizes this, so do the dogs, and they chase the cat. There’s an animation error where one dog just disappears from the shot. Carnage ensues, leaving David covered in snow which Alvin casually flicks from his nose. The moustache continues to move all over the place on Alvin throughout.
I’m with the boys, I don’t want to hear this poem.
That night, David leans upon the mantle and tells the boys it’s time they all be reminded about how lucky they have it. He asks if they remember a poem he wrote, “The Spirit of Christmas,” and the boys moan about having to endure it once again. As David recites it, the boys finish certain lines and it’s pretty bland as it’s all about being generous at Christmas. Dave works up to a big finish and says the line, “So let’s all give a big cheer for…” and the boys respond in unison with “Money!” They immediately clutch at their own mouths to indicate that they didn’t intend to say that and it causes David to probe the boys for more information following their stunt earlier that day. When Dave asks why they suddenly need money, Theodore is the one to say that Alvin needs it so he can buy a present – for himself. David is disgusted at the idea that Alvin is thinking about himself at Christmas and sends the boys to bed. He takes a seat in his chair once more and Alvin approaches cautiously from behind. He asks Dave if he’s mad at him and gets the response every kid hates, “No, I’m just very disappointed.”
All these years later, I’m still surprised Clyde Crashcup made it into this.
We’re then shown the chipmunks asleep in their beds. Alvin’s is decorated with Christmas lights, and given this was in the era before LED lights, this strikes me as super dangerous. Alvin is tossing and turning as we hear him thinking aloud about his problem. We then enter the special’s oddest moment, Alvin’s dream in which he meets a character from The Alvin Show: Clyde Craschup (Charles Berendt). Alvin is shown entering a lab where both he and the hapless inventor confuse each other for a loan officer. Craschcup is a man who enjoys puns and when Alvin tells him he needs a loan, he remarks “Well, of course you’re alone!”
Ladies and gentlemen: Santi Claus!
Crashcup leads Alvin inside. Clyde explains that he’s busy working on the spirit of Christmas and leads Alvin to a door labeled Santi and his Reindeer. He explains Santi as a man with a beard and a hat, but when he opens the door to reveal his creation, we see it’s Abraham Lincoln in a Santa hat riding in a pumpkin. The date is also February 12th and the reindeer are pink elephants. One such elephant apparently dislikes being portrayed as a reindeer and grabs Crashcup with its trunk and flings him into a wall. The now likely concussed inventor sits up and declares his invention a success.
It’s munny. Get it?
Alvin then tries to explain to the inventor that he hasn’t lost the spirit of Christmas, he just needs money to buy a harmonica. Crashcup seems irritated, then a bit confused as he ponders what money is. Alvin tries to explain it, but Crashcup is rather dense. He think it sounds wonderful though and declares that he’ll just have to invent it adding that it will go rather well with his other invention: the I.O.U. He whips out a canvas and easel and gets to work. He paints an image of an inverted magician’s hat and out jumps a green bunny – “munny,” get it? When Alvin objects, the “munny” makes an annoyed face and jumps back in the hat, flips it over, and with its feet poking out of the bottom runs off. Alvin then says that he needs “Money!” and he repeats the word over and over as the dream apparently ends.
Dave is then shown coming up the stairs remarking to himself that maybe he was a bit too hard on Alvin. He enters the room and finds the boy crying for money, throws up his hands, and walks out. The next morning, we begin with an exterior shot and then find the boys inside. Theodore and Simon are lending Alvin all of the money they have, which isn’t much considering Theodore spent most of his on cookies. Alvin graciously accepts and heads off to the store, but Simon remarks to Theodore that Alvin doesn’t have nearly enough cash to buy that harmonica. Dave then enters the room and asks the boys if they’re ready to head to Carnegie Hall and immediately becomes irritated when he finds out Alvin isn’t here. Before he can ask further questions, he’s interrupted by a phone call. It’s Mrs. Waterford, and she was just calling to tell Alvin that the harmonica worked wonders for Tommy! Dave is delighted and gestures for the boys to come closer. He then tells them it’s time they tell him the whole story.
The tactic of “If I stare at something long enough looking real sad maybe someone will buy it for me,” has only ever worked this one time.
We then find Alvin by the display for the Golden Echo Harmonica. Just as Simon predicted, he doesn’t have enough money to buy it. The special is also pretty smart to never let us know how much this thing costs which helps to insulate it from inflation. He’s without his hat for some reason, but his moping is soon interrupted by an old woman (June Foray). She approaches in need of help and has identified Alvin as someone who can help her. Only, she has an unusual request in that she would like to buy Alvin a Christmas present. Why? We don’t know, she just refers to herself as a lonely old woman far from home. Alvin is basically speechless as she purchases the harmonica and immediately gifts it to Alvin. He unwraps it and the thing practically glows in his hands. He thanks her, but she refuses his thanks and instead asks him to play her something. Alvin is happy to oblige as he plays a slow rendition of “Silent Night” which attracts a small crowd.
I’ll give the harmonica credit, it sure is shiny.
As Alvin plays, the camera zooms out and we see Dave and the boys watching from a balcony. The camera pans up to the sky to focus on the North Star as a choir is introduced to sing a few lines of the song. When it’s over, Dave scoops up Alvin and apologizes for how he reacted to Alvin earlier. Alvin is completely unphased as he just wants to find the old woman who gave him the harmonica. She’s gone though, and Theodore soon reminds Dave that they need to go if they want to make it to Carnegie Hall on time. David then tells Alvin they have a surprise for him when they get there and we cut to a horse-drawn carriage apparently taking the chipmunks to their destination as the trio sing “Sleigh Ride.”
Let’s see that harmonica, Tommy!
At Carnegie Hall, Alvin is shown finishing his rendition of “Silent Night” on his harmonica before their sold out crowd. He exits the stage to applause and bumps into a kid backstage – Tommy! Alvin is shocked to see Tommy (R.J. Williams), who just responds by complimenting Alvin on his solo. Dave then tells Alvin this is the surprise he was telling him about and we see Tommy’s mom and sister are there as well. He’s all better, and best of all he brought his harmonica. Alvin pulls him onstage in the spirit of celebration!
And the concert went off without a hitch, in case anyone was worried about that.
Alvin introduces Tommy to the audience as the curtain lifts to reveal a model of Santa in a sleigh with Theodore and Simon positioned behind it. Alvin takes his place beside his brothers as Tommy plays “Deck the Halls.” The chipmunks sing their own version, like they did with “Jingle Bells” earlier, only this one is a bit more lame as it begins with “Deck the world with smiling faces.” Dave is shown with his arms around Tommy’s mom and sister, then the scene cuts back to the performance, then back to Dave who is now standing with his arms at his sides. He then reaches out and wraps them around the Waterfords and it makes me think the shots were ordered wrong as it doesn’t make much sense. Alvin then concludes the verse with a line directed at the Santa display, “And don’t forget your gifts for me!” Dave covers his face with his hand indicating this was an ad-lib on Alvin’s part and scowls in Alvin’s direction, but Mrs. Waterford seems amused by it.
That’s better.
We then cut to a familiar face soaring high in the sky above Carnegie Hall – Santa Claus! He’s looking down and can apparently hear the performance. We pan over the city and it’s just a still image. It looks nice, but awkward, because the cars on the streets aren’t moving. It cuts to a silhouette shot of Santa and his reindeer as they fly through the city and eventually into a less inhabited area. These shots are the easiest Santa shots since you only need to animate 4 reindeer when it’s from the side. He never passes in front of a moon though.
This is how I picture Santa after a hard night’s work. Hell, this is me every Christmas Eve!
We’re taken to the North Pole and a tired Santa is shown stretching as he enters a cozy, little, home. There’s a roaring fire and a big sandwich by a lounge chair waiting for him. He greets his wife who we can’t quite see as she’s seated in a chair doing some knitting and is presented from behind, but her voice sure sounds familiar. Santa (Welker) then collapses into his chair and tells his wife she should get out of the house some Christmas and see how the world celebrates. We pan over to her and can see her now. It’s the old woman from the store and she dismisses Santa’s suggestion and remarks that making children happy is his “thing.” Santa doesn’t even hear her as he’s already snoring away in his chair. Mrs. Claus then looks to the camera and makes a “shush” gesture. She blows us a kiss as the special ends. A sweet ending for a sweet special.
She’s so cute!
A Chipmunk Christmas is a Christmas special that’s very easy to poke holes in and have a little fun with. Tommy is apparently a devious child who made himself sick so he could get a harmonica for Christmas that his apparently single mother couldn’t afford and it worked. They got a harmonica out of Alvin who then made the unwise decision not to tell his own father about and instead set out on what should have been an impossible task only for a little divine intervention to take place and set things right. Obviously, that’s not how we’re supposed to interpret things, just as we shouldn’t interpret that mental manipulation Mrs. Waterford engaged in to get that harmonica from Alvin, but so much is left unexplained that there’s room for the viewer to fill in the gaps with whatever they please. And since Santa exists in this world, why couldn’t he just bring Tommy the harmonica he wanted so badly? Plus I still maintain that glance Mrs. Waterford gives her daughter is bizarre and out of place.
What is this glance?! I think Alvin’s been played.
If I allow myself to drop the cynicism and think back on this special as I did when I was young, then it works much better. Tommy is just sick, with what we don’t know, and it’s the Christmas Spirit that saves him. Or residual chipmunk saliva in the harmonica. Alvin has to keep it a secret so we can have some Alvin-type hijinks and it all works out in the end. We get a nice dose of the chipmunks, plenty of singing, and Mrs. Claus gets to be the hero for a change. I think it’s her inclusion that puts this one over-the-top for me as it’s a clever way to deus ex machina Alvin out of his predicament without taking back the harmonica or just having a rather simple reveal that ends with David buying him a new one. Because that’s probably what would have normally happened. Logic even suggests that Alvin just find the new one under the tree, and that’s likely where most headspaces go with this one until we find out Alvin needs the harmonica for a performance on Christmas Eve! Whoops, Santa can’t help you there, little buddy!
The plot, which just highlights the spirit of giving at this time of year and does it through a normally selfish character, works well enough and the reveal is a fun one. We get a lot of songs throughout this one, but it is a bit light on Simon and Theodore. I suppose that’s nothing new for the duo as Alvin absorbs a lot of the spotlight frequently, but it would have been nice to see them more involved somehow. Instead, they’re just needed to cover for Alvin and serve as extra hands. Maybe we could have cut out the dream sequence, which feels out of place, in favor of another scheme involving those two. Perhaps Simon could have taken on a bigger role in said scheme or something. I just know I would much prefer more of the chipmunks in favor of a Clyde Crashcup cameo.
It was a pretty smart move to incorporate “The Chipmunk Song” into their first Christmas special. Kills a few minutes too.
That’s really the special’s only weak spot and it’s not exactly a big one. The dream has some decent jokes in it, so it’s not as if I groan when it gets to that mark. Mostly, I’m just charmed by the chipmunks. They look cute, they’re mostly well-voiced (Simon is a bit robotic at times), and have never looked better. There are some animation gaffes here and there, but not enough for me to render this one problematic from a visual perspective. The characters animate well (aside from when Alvin is running) and I love the backgrounds. The other character designs are fairly basic, but still look fine. I like the Chuck Jones Santa who has more of a “dad bod” than an obese one. It would have been nice to see a full reindeer design, but that whole sequence works well as-is so I can’t say I miss it.
A sweet story with some lovely visuals, it’s a shame this one isn’t still shown annually on network TV.
If you want to check out A Chipmunk Christmas this year, your best bet is to just track down the DVD release Christmas with the Chipmunks. It’s pretty inexpensive and contains some holiday themed episodes of the 1980s series. The only downer is that those episodes omit the theme song, which must be a rights thing. Currently, this special isn’t streaming as part of a service anywhere as everything Chipmunks-related seems to be in limbo given the franchise is up for sale. There are sometimes rights issues as well since the Bagdasarians are always partnering with someone to make these things. Again, I say just grab the DVD. As one of the best specials of all time, it’s well worth the purchase.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
For December 10, we are returning to the theme of this year which is to revisit the best of the best. When I originally ranked my favorite Christmas specials, I had the recently released It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! ranked at #19. The years have been kind to this throwback Christmas special as last year I…
Come the 1990s, the cartoon juggernaut known as Hanna-Barbera was fading. It’s said the company once had control of approximately 80% of the children’s programming on television and even come 1990 it was still around 20%. The studio’s last big hit had been The Smurfs which set all kinds of Saturday morning records despite few…
There are a lot of cartoons that have come and gone in my lifetime, many I forgot even existed until something jars my memory. Earlier this year we lost comedian Bob Einstein. Einstein is probably best known for his role on Curb Your Enthusiasm, but twenty years ago he was best known for his…
If the 70s were defined by Scooby Doo when it came to Hanna-Barbera, then the 80s belonged to The Smurfs. The little blue creations of Pierre Culliford, better known by his pen name Peyo, had an animated series that basically spanned the entirety of the 80s totaling an insane 258 episodes. And once the 80s ended, it wasn’t like The Smurfs suddenly disappeared. The show would air in syndication for much of the 90s before the franchise finally seemed ready to retire, but like all things from the 80s, it came back.
Relatively early in the show’s run was The Smurfs Christmas Special. The grammatically confusing title at least did not confuse would-be viewers: it was The Smurfs and it’s Christmas. The special aired in 1982 and would see re-runs for years to come, maybe not primetime network re-runs, but they can’t all be Charlie Brown. We actually looked at a later Smurfs Christmas special a few years ago and it was…Smurfy? The Smurfs was one of those shows I watched because it was on. I saw so many episodes of this thing, but I can’t recall any real plot details. I just remember the archetypes and some of the characters and voices, but that’s mostly it. Most of the episodes probably just involved Gargamel trying to capture the Smurfs so I can see how it would just all blend together into the brain of an adolescent. It was never my favorite show though and I don’t recall owning much merch. I think I might have had a little Papa Smurf plush and there was always a little Smurfette spoon at my grandma’s house for some reason.
It looks like a big tree, until you remind yourself the houses are mushrooms.
Let’s check this one out, shall we? I know I’ve seen this before, but like the regular series, the various Smurfs holiday specials sort of blend together in my brain so this might feel almost new to me. Since we are talking Smurfs and Christmas though, I feel like I have to mention that Smurfs creator Peyo actually died on Christmas Eve in 1992. Ok, now that we’re all sad it’s Christmas time and the Smurfs are getting ready! There’s snow on the mushroom houses, we get a little title, and the usual Smurfs theme has some bells added to it to give it a jingle quality. The Smurfs are decorating a massive tree and we get some cuts of Gargamel’s snow-covered house and a horse-drawn sleigh is seen going across the land. We’ll see this again as this is just fluff for the credits.
This one is all about Harmony and his quest to write the perfect Christmas solo. Actually, no it’s not he’s barely in it.
When we get into it, Harmony (Hamilton Camp) Smurf is practicing a trumpet solo and he’s eager to share it with the others, but no one is interested. Smurfette (Lucille Bliss) seems to react in pain when Harmony tries playing for her while Grouchy (Michael Bell) is, well, grouchy and basically tells him to piss off. A whole group of Smurfs then pass by as they’re bringing a giant pot of pudding or something to the town square. I don’t know why it needs to be prepared there, but I suppose that cauldron isn’t fitting in any of those tiny houses. None of them have any interest in what Harmony is up to while Brainy (Danny Goldman) tries to lecture him on the importance of pudding preparation. These Smurfs have some odd priorities.
Someone should probably get him out of there.
A dejected Harmony tries to find a friendly ear in Lazy who’s sleeping on the ground, in the snow. He plays his trumpet, rather poorly, and it causes some snow to fall off of a nearby house and bury every part of Lazy except his nose. He continues with his nap. Harmony then comes across Jokey (June Foray) who is loading up a sleigh with presents. If you know Jokey, then you know those presents are all explosives. He’s giddy about Christmas since he has a gift for everyone in the village. Harmony informs him that he’s written a solo for Christmas and asks Jokey if he wants to hear it? Jokey tries to refuse, but Harmony plays on. As Jokey tries to stop him the sound of the solo causes the gift in his hands to blow up leaving him all charred and blackened. Declaring it not funny, he basically tells Harmony to beat it.
Hah, looks like the joke’s on you, Jokey!
Greedy Smurf (Camp) is then shown stirring the massive cauldron of pudding. He promises it will be his best pudding yet which just prompts Brainy to start talking about how much he contributed. Greedy and the other Smurfs apparently do not like hearing Brainy take all of the credit, as he soon goes soaring through the air and lands in the snow beside Harmony, who is still working on that solo. You just know that solo is going to come back before the episode’s end and perform some Christmas miracle or something.
The Smurfs have apparently unlocked the secret of turning acorns into a light source.
We then cut to the Smurfs decorating the tree, it’s the same animation from the intro only we see a bit more. Papa Smurf (Don Messick) finally makes an appearance just to tell us that this might be their best holiday celebration yet. Aren’t we lucky to be witnessing this one?! The best one ever! You just can’t have a Christmas special in the 80s without someone speculating it will be the best one yet, which will then follow with it seeming like the worst one yet, before it then becomes the best one ever again. These things write themselves.
Unlike Harmony, these characters are actually important to the plot. Well, two of them are.
The scene shifts to the sleigh from the intro and we now get to see who is in it. It’s some old guy and two kids, one boy and one girl, and he’s giving them a lesson on Santa Claus. The old man (uncredited) is the grandfather of the two children, Gwenevere (Alexandra Stoddert) and William (David Mendenhall), and they’re heading home for Christmas. The kids are pretty excited about this Santa Claus guy, and who wouldn’t be? The scene then shifts to the home of the evil Gargamel (Paul Winchell). He hates Christmas and lets us know in no uncertain terms. He’s seated at a table with books all around him, and he slams one of them shut. Unfortunately, his cat Azrael (Messick) was taking a snooze on the table and the book slams shut on her tail. She yells and jumps into the rafters causing a bunch of books to scatter all over Gargamel. He’s pretty angry with the cat, because all villains blame their animal companions for their own mistakes, but soon he brightens up. In his lap is a book that apparently details a spell for making things miserable. He’s positively giddy now as he’s found a weapon that will ruin the Smurfs’ Christmas – muahahahahaha!
The chef isn’t even allowed to sample the pudding? Harsh.
There’s a quick cut back to the old man and his grandkids merrily sleighing through the snow, but some creepy guy and a pack of wolves are watching. It then jumps back to Smurf Village where Papa Smurf is reprimanding Greedy for tasting the pudding. He literally took a finger to this massive pot that these Smurfs have no chance of consuming in its entirety. And if they do, well then they’re probably getting diabetes for Christmas. Brainy Smurf tries to add to Papa Smurf’s scolding which causes the old Smurf to roll his eyes initially. He then interrupts Brainy repeatedly until the annoying one finally shuts up. This allows Papa Smurf to then explain to Greedy, but mostly to us, that the pudding isn’t complete until they add the last walnut. Greedy responds in question by asking if it’s the last, ripe, delicious, walnut and Papa Smurf soon realizes that Greedy ate it. A single tear falls from Greedy’s eye, so at least he seems remorseful, but his name is Greedy for a reason. He apologizes to Papa Smurf who just says it’s all right and that he’ll get another walnut from Squirrel. Yeah, seems like this is not a big deal at all. I’m glad we got to spend time here.
Gargamel! Get your ass off of the ceiling!
The old man and the kids are once again shown singing “Jingle Bells” while the stranger with evil intentions looks on. I’m guessing something is finally about to happen. And it does! A wolf attacks, though the scene is edited clumsily. We just see it charge, the horse rear up, and hear the sound of wood crunching. The scary guy watches with approval. We then jump back to see what Gargamel is doing. He’s preparing his spell that will ruin Christmas, but he’s actually a pretty terrible alchemist and the concoction he’s working on explodes leaving him clinging to a chandelier, which soon falls. He then sobs, because he can’t ruin someone else’s Christmas. Poor guy.
Well that can’t be good.
On the outskirts of Smurf Village, Papa Smurf is borrowing another nut from Squirrel who is, as you probably guessed, just some random squirrel. The nut is dropped from the tree and hits Papa Smurf in the head. Funny. We then get to see the wreckage of the sleigh from earlier. The horse is just running free while the overturned sleigh has a hand sticking out from under it which is actually rather upsetting. The children are then shown approaching what they hope is a friendly home, but it’s Gargamel’s so that’s a big “No.” Gargamel answers the door and the young girl explains the situation as “Our sleigh overturned and our grandfather won’t open his eyes.” Sure sounds like he’s dead. Gargamel asks if they have any money and when they say “No,” he slams the door in their face. I remembered Gargamel as an asshole, but I didn’t know it went this far.
Here’s some important guy.
The scene shifts to a castle and it’s here we find out these kids are sort of royalty. Some guy in charge says his niece and nephew should have arrived hours ago and regrets letting them journey to him with their grandfather. He orders some soldier guy to organize a search party right away. We then are taken to the Smurfs who are singing their annoying “La La” song as they presumably march back to the village from Squirrel’s tree. We then get some quick cuts. First it’s to see Gwenevere’s doll in the snow, which she had just been carrying to Gargamel’s, but I guess got sick of doing so. Then to both kids as they lament their current state and reinforce the notion that they just need to find someone who will help them. Then it’s back to the doll and a wolf is sniffing it. That’s probably not good for the kids.
This guys is definitely evil, but just how evil?
Back at Gargamel’s, the old fool is trying to come up with a new potion, or spell, or whatever that will ruin the Smurfs’ Christmas, but doesn’t appear to be having much luck. Then his door suddenly swings open and it’s the creepy guy in the purple cape. He’s credited as Stranger (Rene Auberjonois) and immediately informs Gargamel that he can help him with his Smurf problem. In exchange, he just wants those kids. Gargamel, surprisingly, asks why he wants those kids and the Stranger goes on to say it’s for revenge. He has a bone to pick with their uncle who apparently thwarts his evilness with good deeds or something. He can’t abduct the children himself and explains that the only way for “goodness” to come his way is through treachery. I feel like there’s a far more interesting story here than what the Smurfs do at Christmas. Is this guy Satan? And if so, what’s that make the uncle of those kids?
That’s his scheming face.
At any rate, Gargamel is game as he wants the Smurfs and this guy has some scroll that will not only lead him to their village, but also provide instructions for what to do when he gets there. I personally think knocking over their tree and stomping on their tiny homes needs no instructions, but whatever. Gargamel sets out to find the kids, but instead he runs into their uncle. He’s with two others and informs Gargamel that they’re looking for the kids. It’s through his explanation we also learn that the grandfather survived and is apparently fine. Gargamel lies and says he hasn’t seen them, but when the uncle mentions he’s offering a reward of 10 gold coins for their safe return, the old alchemist gets a little gleam in his eye. When they wander off Gargamel explains to Azrael how they can get the Smurfs and the gold. That stranger did mention treachery, so this should follow suit, no?
Puppies!
Gargamel resumes his search while we’re shown what the kids are up to. They’re huddled together by a tree and the colors in the sky would seem to indicate it’s sundown. Gwenevere assures her brother they’ll be okay, but the sound of howling wolves would suggest otherwise. The two start singing “Silent Night” together and it’s overheard by Papa Smurf and the others. Brainy goes into an explanation of what they’re hearing while everyone just ditches him. These Smurfs are smarter than I thought. We then cut back to the kids and they’re surrounded by wolves. Seemingly every time we cut away and then back, another wolf is added and no one had to animate anything, which is quite the trick. Papa Smurf then barges in and sticks his finger right in a wolf’s face. The Smurfs is a show with very little actual, physical, conflict and I’m reminded of that as Papa Smurf tells the wolves to go away and they obey. The kids mistake him for Santa Claus, I guess their grandfather never mentioned his height, and quickly explain their situation to Papa Smurf. He orders the male Smurfs with him to go check on the grandfather while Smurfette is sent back to the village to get more help. When they depart, the kids ask him if he’s Santa Claus and he kind of laughs sheepishly, but doesn’t seem eager to correct them.
Is Brainy the only Smurf that can read?
Hefty (Frank Welker), Clumsy (Bill Callaway), and Brainy come upon the wrecked sleigh, but no one is there. Brainy notes that there’s a lot of foot traffic around the wreckage, while Clumsy is the one to find a note. He asks what it says, and Brainy goes into some bogus explanation about how it doesn’t matter what it says, but what it means, which just pisses off Hefty who tells him to just read it. Brainy does as he’s told and we find out it’s a note from Uncle Edgar instructing William and Gwenevere to remain with the sleigh and he will come for them. Hefty and Clumsy then take off for Smurf Village while Brainy pontificates on this meaning of them discovering this message not intended for them until he realizes he’s been left alone. A standard “Wait for me!” is uttered and Brainy runs out of frame.
Even with help from these kids I’m still not convinced they’re putting much of a dent in that pudding.
Gargamel is shown cresting a small hill with Azrael as he outlines to the cat how he’ll find the children, get the scroll, double-cross the stranger, and get the gold. He calls it a plan crafted in Heaven! The children are then shown seated by the massive cauldron of pudding in Smurf Village. The kids are eating pudding and discussing how they can’t wait to tell their grandfather they met Santa and his helpers. Meanwhile, Greedy is just disappointed to see someone other than him eating pudding. He is swiftly reprimanded by Smurfette and the whole village has apparently gathered with gifts in hand. Papa Smurf then presents the children with a gift since they’re far from home on Christmas. To do so, he stands on the platform that Greedy had been using to tend to the pudding. It seems very formal. The children are thankful, and whatever the girl received she declares is beautiful. William got a tiny trumpet he toots on. I’m not sure what use Smurf-sized gifts will be for these kids in the long run, but I guess it’s the thought that counts.
Oh boy…a song…
The trio of Hefty, Clumsy, and Brainy then return and tell Papa Smurf about the note. The kids are delighted to hear that their grandfather is all right, but in true kid fashion, ask if they can open all of their presents first before returning to the sleigh. Papa Smurf is fine with this arrangement, while Grouchy Smurf is not. Papa Smurf then decides to conduct some music for the kids while they open their gifts. A bunch of generic looking Smurfs then sing “Goodness Makes the Badness Go Away.” It’s a terrible little song that will obviously have some importance later. More importantly, it soaks up about 30 seconds.
These kids aren’t trying hard enough – he’s an old guy in rags! He’s probably malnourished – fight back!
With the song done, the Smurfs lead the children back to the wreckage of the sleigh. They tow a small sleigh of their own loaded with gifts so this is turning out to be a nice little haul for them. Papa Smurf orders the others to build a fire since darkness is falling at this point, but soon Gargamel strikes! The Smurfs run around like useless, frightened, idiots while Gargamel just marches off with one kid under each arm. Some Smurfs apparently muster up the courage to fling some snowballs at him, but snowballs aren’t exactly effective at deterring bad guys and Smurf-sized snowballs even less so. Brainy asks Papa Smurf what they can do and he replies there’s only one thing they can do: follow them!
It’s always satisfying seeing a deal come together.
Gargamel takes the kids back to his house and they ask him what he plans on doing with them. Gargamel has no interest in revealing those plans, and soon the Stranger arrives! Gargamel turns the children over to him, as promised, while the Smurfs look on and watch the man hand over the scroll announcing it as the means to destroy Smurf Village. Gargamel is positively giddy and tells the kids the nice man probably has a Christmas present for them, even though they’re now tied up and being lead by a rope. As they leave he even calls out a “Merry Christmas!” to them before running off to Smurf Village. Vanity Smurf (Alan Oppenheimer) worries about the village, but Papa Smurf tells him they can’t afford to worry about that while the children are in danger. This is going exactly as expected.
Merry Christmas, Smurfs…
Gargamel then arrives at an empty Smurf Village all decorated for Christmas. He’s initially dismayed when no Smurfs are there for him to torment, but he cheers up knowing he has a spell to destroy them. He opens the scroll and reads it and it’s pretty awful as the spell ends with “…let no one survive this year!” All the homes basically rot and the Christmas tree drops all of its needles and the whole place is basically in ruins. Gargamel laughs and just walks away for he still has 10 pieces of gold to collect.
I must confess I did not see that coming.
Gargamel quickly finds the search party and informs them that a stranger took the kids. He comes up with a story about nearly losing his life to the man and tells them where he can be found. Edgar thanks him for the intel and as they run off Gargamel asks about his reward. Edgar tells him he’ll have it when they find the children which Gargamel starts to fret over. He is soon surprised when the Stranger appears with the children right behind him. Angry over Gargamel’s betrayal, he tells him that he’ll be coming with him as well. Gargamel tries to back away, but the Stranger uses some magic to turn the husk of a nearby tree into a pile of bad looking snakes. Gargamel basically begs for his life and the Stranger makes the snakes go away and orders him to come along.
Meanwhile, the Smurfs have been tracking the Stranger and note that the footprints have added another human. They recognize Gargamel and Azrael’s tracks among them and we get this stupid routine of a Smurf saying “Poor William,” “Poor Gwenevere,” with Papa Smurf adding “And perhaps, poor Gargamel,” so the rest can then respond in unison “Poor Gargamel?!”
Yeah, this guy is totally Satan.
The Stranger and the kids are shown and the kids are seated at the ground. They claim they can’t walk any further and the Stranger is surprisingly fine with this. Gargamel tries to slink off, but the Stranger won’t let him. He informs them that they’re all going “home” with him and when Gargamel takes off running he conjures up a ring of fire to keep them together. He then goes into some spell while Gargamel and the kids beg him to stop. The Smurfs are watching from the hillside unsure of what to do. When Smurfette asks Papa Smurf what they can do to combat this evil power, he informs them there’s a greater power: love! I can’t believe they actually went there. Or maybe I can? Anyway, remember the song from before that literally spells out “Goodness makes the badness go away,” as its lyrics? Yeah, that’s our solution. The Smurfs sing it, soon the kids start singing it, and as a final insult Gargamel is forced to sing it as well. How he knew the words is not explained.
Sing, my Smurfs! Sing like you’ve never sung before!
The Smurfs and friends (and foe) literally shout at the devil and it makes him go away. With him gone so too is the fire, and old Uncle Edgar arrives at just the right time to find the kids. Gargamel foolishly still tries to claim a reward, but the kids let their uncle know that he is not a man deserving of a reward. Edgar looks ready to pound some alchemist, but Gwenevere stops him and reminds everyone that it’s Christmas and even a scoundrel like Gargamel deserves forgiveness. Gargamel, for once, smartly takes advantage of the situation and runs off looking very much like Professor Hinkle from Frosty the Snowman as he passes over a series of hills complaining to his cat the whole way. The kids then tell their uncle all about meeting Santa Claus, who laughs it off. As the sleigh takes off, the kids wave to the Smurfs and wish them a “Merry Christmas.”
Those kids they helped get to go to a nice warm castle for Christmas.
The Smurfs then return to find their village in ruins. Papa Smurf gives them a rundown of how shitty their situation is as they all huddle in blankets under a tree and imparts the classic Christmas lesson of “We still have each other.” The rest seem to agree and even Grouchy isn’t mad about the situation. Harmony (remember him?) then asks if everyone wants to hear his solo now? They do, and wouldn’t ya know, Harmony’s solo magically restores the village! Clumsy tries asking Papa Smurf for an explanation, but even the bearded one can’t explain this. The Smurfs are then shown holding hands around the tree as the camera pans up the tree. You think it’s going to rest on the star at the top, but it keeps on going until we see a twinkling star off in space. See? Jesus did it.
Oh wait, never mind, it all worked out.
And that’s the end of The Smurfs Christmas Special. For a special that features a team-up between Gargamel and Satan forcing the Smurfs into action to save some kids, it was rather boring and by the numbers. That is quite the concept and they even managed to keep Santa out of it. Was it the real Santa that made the miracle occur at the end? I suppose your guess is as good as mine. It’s Christmas magic, which needs no explanation. The Smurfs basically do Smurf stuff and help some kids, while Gargamel gets nothing in the end. He gets to have a momentary victory, which might have landed differently for regular viewers, but there was no way the Smurfs would end up having a bad Christmas.
Things start off swell, then some stuff happens, Christmas is ruined, and then it’s not. Pretty standard stuff, well, except for the presence of the devil.
I suppose this one could have been interesting if the solution to everything wasn’t just “Christmas magic.” To combat the devil, Papa Smurf just knows you have to sing at him. Wonderful. It’s just too simple and convenient, but the production values for this thing look no better than a standard episode so I guess it didn’t have the budget for a big action set piece. No, I wouldn’t expect the Smurfs to take on Lucifer, but the other humans could have battled by proxy, I suppose. And hey, maybe they whip up some cool traps or something? Anything would have been better than this. Even the grandfather being left for dead is just brushed aside with a “He’s fine.” The plot does not earn any of the resolutions presented.
All right, you’ve had your fun, now get out of here you little, blue, freaks!
Did that matter to kids in 1982? I honestly cannot say. I always found this one to be rather boring even as a child. It was nominated for an Emmy, but lost to Ziggy. What little memory I have of future Christmas specials from The Smurfs are that they’re better than this, but I need to revisit more of them to be certain. Good thing I’m always in need of Christmas specials! If you want to watch this against my recommendation it’s on YouTube as part of the official Smurfs channel. It is a pan and scan thing though so it looks pretty awful. If you dig deeper, you can find one in its native resolution that is slightly more enjoyable. Or you can purchase it on DVD, but I don’t have any of the DVDs so I can’t say how it’s presented there.
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We interrupt our regularly scheduled holiday posts with something very familiar to this blog: a toy review! Yes, we have ourselves another Christmas toy to talk about and it too comes from Hasbro. We already looked at a Star Wars toy at the end of November, and now we’re turning to what I suppose is Hasbro’s flagship franchise: Transformers. Like Star Wars, I don’t have a strong history with Transformers toys from my youth. I had one or two figures in the 80s and I couldn’t even tell you what their names were and I’m not even sure I could pick any of them out of a lineup of Generation 1 toys. When Generation 2 launched in the early 90s, I took a passing interest. I think I ended up with a mere four figures: Grimlock, Megatron, a fire truck, and Optimus Prime. Even though I wasn’t that into Transformers, that Optimus was a favorite toy of mine for at least a little while. I had to save up a lot of money to get it, 30 bucks in 1992 money, and I remember getting it on Halloween. I was pretty blown away by the diecast parts and the rubber tires on him and I quickly learned how to convert the figure with ease from robot to truck mode. The sound effects were neat, and once I had that Prime I basically had to get Megatron which I would for Christmas that year. I wasn’t that taken with that toy though as he was way bigger than Prime, had that camo deco that wasn’t show accurate, and just wasn’t a ton of fun to play with. Transformers was just filling a short gap for me between my obsession with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and my blossoming love of X-Men. Despite my enjoyment of that Prime though, I let my sister sell it in a yard sale many years later. I think she got 50 cents for it.
I will never get used to Optimus Prime as this style of truck.
Even though Transformers has never really been my thing, I’ve still ended up with some toys here and there including the Masterpiece Prime and more recently the Super7 offering. Transformers as a franchise is something I have basically zero interest in. The show never worked for me, I don’t care about these characters, and the movies are terrible. Well, Bumblebee was okay, but it was basically just E.T. with robots. As a toy though, I think the bots to vehicles concept is wonderful – it’s two toys in one! In actual practice, I just tend to find them to be less fun. Most are either clearly better as a car or a robot and it’s rare you get two worthwhile toys out of it. I was also more of an action figure guy and the robots and their limited articulation sometimes frustrated me so it’s been easy to not get sucked in. I am a major sucker for Christmas though, so when Hasbro announced this holiday themed Optimus I was pretty interested and put in a preorder right away. As the weeks went by though, I started to have second thoughts. Is this something I really need? It’s not exactly priced in the usual impulse territory, and I wasn’t sure where I’d put it or how I’d display it. I was pretty close to just cancelling the preorder, and then I got the “processing soon” email from Pulse so I just let it ride. Was that a good choice? I guess it’s time to find out.
And this is why I prefer the classic style for Prime as you don’t get this ugly seam down the middle in truck form.
This Optimus Prime comes from the Generations subline. I don’t really know what that means, but I see other figures in this line at big box stores. It looks to me like the releases are focused on classic characters with a modern lens. I wasn’t sure what to expect as far as quality goes. My son has acquired a few Transformers figures here and there, including the movie Grimlock from last year, I want to say. That thing is pretty cool, though he doesn’t seem to place much value in it. My nephew had a Transformers phase (and it’s what lead me to get the Super7 figure) and he had more of the standard releases which is what I’m expecting of this figure. That’s to say it’s not a gigantic piece nor do I expect it to feature any diecast parts. Paint is minimal, as it probably should be for a figure with this many moving parts, and it’s not something I expected to be of the rugged nature and I would say my expectations are largely met.
For those who prefer the no trailer look.
The figure comes in a nice holiday themed box that makes me think of the Hess truck releases over the years. I don’t know if Hess was a regional thing, but the company was a gas station in the northeast when I was a kid that always put out a special truck, or vehicle, each year. I had a few growing up and the trucks are still released through Speedway each year even though Hess no longer exists. Optimus Prime is certainly decked out for Christmas as he features a white and red color scheme. The trailer of his truck looks like a big candy cane and the “glass” on the cab of the truck is tinted green to drive the point home. Optimus is not in his standard Freightliner truck form with the flat front, but his more Peterbilt style as seen in the films, though this truck is actually a licensed model from Volvo. I prefer the gen 1 look for Prime as I think it’s better for transforming. This style of truck has an actual front-end which is something that needs to split down the middle. When in robot mode, it forms the side of his legs and it’s a bit clunky, but I guess this is the Prime the kids today are more familiar with. In addition to the colors, there’s some snow decals on the trailer to give the appearance that Prime is trucking through a blizzard to deliver some holiday cheer. The Autobots logo also has a festive Santa hat applied to it and the overall effect is achieved – this is clearly a Christmas toy. I am left wishing that Hasbro sought out a partnership with Coca-Cola for this one though. Imagine if Optimus was transporting Santa packs of Coke? That would have been pretty damn cool, even for someone like me who rarely drinks Coke products. Maybe Coke is still pissed about that Pepsi Prime variant from way back?
The trailer opens into a repair station, but it’s completely devoid of color and looks terrible.
As a truck, it looks fine. I hate the seam in the middle of the front-end, but that’s the type of thing you just have to accept with Transformers. As a robot, the Christmas theme is a little less obvious, but still apparent. Prime stands around 7″ tall and basically looks like Optimus Prime. He has his standard blue head, but the rest of the body is pretty well dominated by the color red with some white and probably too much black. The underside of the truck is what forms the front of his legs so there’s more black than I would like for a Christmas toy. They should have just substituted that for a dark green. It’s basically not important in truck form, so it could have been any color, really. I get why they kept his head blue, but I would have gone with green like the Super7 ReAction figure of Christmas Prime. We do at least get a hit of green right in the center of the chest as the transparent green plastic is used there to house the Matrix of the Holiday Spirit. The only other thing I’m not crazy about, visually speaking, is how most of the tires of the truck are now positioned on the figure’s back rather than the legs. It gives Prime a very rugged appearance and it’s a little messy. As for the trailer, it opens up into a “battle station” like the G1 Prime. It’s basically just all white plastic inside and it’s incredibly dull to look at. It has an articulated fixture with some claw arms on it, I guess like a repair station for Prime, but it’s so lifeless looking that I’ll never display this thing open. It’s basically just a play feature for the kids.
He’s packing a candy cane flavored blaster!
When it comes to accessories, there’s not a lot to talk about. I suppose the trailer can be considered one, but we’ve covered that. It looks fine as a trailer, bad as anything else. Prime has his Matrix of the Holiday Spirit, which as far as I know, is just the usual Matrix of Leadership. Only now it has a red core with a green center. It’s fine and it’s something that’s basically expected to come with every Optimus Prime figure. It fits in his chest, or it can be removed, but the figure can’t actually hold it since both hands just have a hole through them. The only other accessory is Prime’s ion blaster which also has a red and white candy cane deco applied to it. In his hand, it looks okay. He doesn’t have trigger finger hands so it’s not the most convincing thing when the figure is brandishing it as a weapon. It has a hinge in the center so it can be folded and stored on the figure’s back. What’s far more notable about it though, is Hasbro left a slot for it on the underside of the trailer when Optimus is in truck form. When it’s placed there it, well, looks like a penis:
Hmmm…
Now that you’re done giggling, we can talk about the figure as an action figure. The set arrives in vehicle form and Optimus transforms in what Hasbro considers 37 steps. It sounds like a lot, but some of the steps are pretty basic and are simply “this little piece needs to move on a hinge 90 degrees – done!” As someone who doesn’t handle many modern Transformers, I found the directions mostly descriptive enough. There are no words, just images, likely so that Hasbro didn’t have to print this in multiple languages. The only part I found tricky was actually pretty early in the process, step 3, as it involves moving the rear cab panel down, but they didn’t engineer much in the way of anything to gain leverage with. And it being the first time, it’s hard to pinpoint where the piece separates. Plus, the hinge is on some transparent, green, plastic and that stuff is usually pretty damn fragile. It’s not really a good idea to do that type of piece on transparent plastic, and I’ve already seen people share images online of the part breaking, so definitely be careful with step 3. It can be freed up from the side, just don’t force it.
The gun looks less obscene when stored on the figure.
Once transformed, Optimus has what feels like the usual amount of articulation for a Transformer. The head rotates and can look down and up a little. The shoulders rotate and the arms can raise out to the side below the shoulder joint as there’s a hinge inside the shoulder housing. Past that is a swivel and an elbow hinge that achieves a 90 degree bend. The hands just rotate. At the waist is a twist and he can crunch forward a little bit at the same spot. The legs kick forward and back 90 degrees and he can even do splits, if you wish. The knees bend 90 degrees as well and that’s where the articulation stops. There’s nothing at the ankles which is what will limit the posing the most. The most exotic thing he can do is simulate a running pose or a walking one. He looks convincing enough in a “blasting” position too, but like most Optimus figures I encounter, can’t do a two-handed pose with his blaster. This one also has some extra bits and such to watch out for, mostly on the back of the calves related to the truck’s front end. The mirrors and smokestack could conceivably be a breaking point if this guy were to take a shelf dive or something and I definitely tried to avoid grabbing those parts when transforming the figure.
Of course, we have to work the Matrix into this guy somehow.
Which brings us to the last bit of info that’s probably worth having: the price. This guy retails for $56 via the Pulse website as well as other retailers. I have no idea if this guy is headed to any brick and mortar locations, so feel free to tack on a shipping charge as well. That’s a bit steep for a Transformer with no diecast, no rubber, and few accessories. I’m guessing the plastic box that is the trailer is contributing to the cost, as well as a smaller production run, but it definitely feels like there’s a Christmas surcharge here. I already mentioned I was contemplating cancelling this one before it shipped and it was mostly due to the price. If this were 35 bucks I would be far more likely to recommend it, but at more than 20 beyond that it’s a tough sell. I guess if you’re into Transformers you may want this in your collection, or perhaps being really into Transformers makes it easier to pass since you’re probably sitting on a mountain of Optimus Prime toys. As a result, this figure feels like it’s more for people like me: toy collectors who are into Christmas offshoots. And as a Christmas version of a popular character, it’s fine. I would have liked more accessories, maybe a blast effect for the gun or something other than the matrix that the figure can actually hold, but it does get the job done. This is clearly a Christmas toy on your shelf. It’s just the price that’s hard to get past. If you’re okay with spending $56 or more on this guy, then you’ll probably be content to roll him out each Christmas to decorate your house. If the thought of spending that much on a red, white, and green Optimus makes you recoil, then feel free to ignore it. And if you’re somewhere in the middle, maybe waiting it out will pay off in the form of a discount in the new year.
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