Category Archives: Television

March 30, 2014

Ranking the WrestleMania Main Events (11-4)

By Joe

We’re now just one week away from WrestleMani XXX, which means I need to get this feature wrapped up!

 

 

Triple H and Jericho felt like natural rivals whenever they matched-up.

Triple H and Jericho felt like natural rivals whenever they matched-up.

11. Triple H vs Chris Jericho (WrestleMania XVIII)

WrestleMania XVIII is remembered for pretty much one match:  Hollywood Hogan vs The Rock.  It was Hogan’s first official match since re-signing with the WWF and the Montreal crowd didn’t seem to care that he was supposed to be the heel heading into it. It was a fun match, but the main event was pretty damn good too. It featured the newly crowned Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho vs Triple H, making his second appearance in a WrestleMania main event. Jericho and Triple H are a natural pairing. Both guys are good, technical wrestlers and Triple H’s more power-oriented offense complements Jericho’s up-tempo maneuvers just fine. The only thing that kind of sucks about this match is that the outcome is never really in doubt as it was pretty much a given that the WWF would put the strap on Triple H after letting Jericho have his fun for a bit. It was nice while it lasted though.

10. John Cena vs The Rock (WrestleMania XXVIII)

The first match-up between John Cena and The Rock is markedly better than the second. The year-long build-up worked well and seeing The Rock back in the ring was a novelty that hadn’t grown stale. Yes, he still wasn’t in great ring shape as the match was plagued some-what by rest holds and the like, but the two guys played off each other well and the finish was well-executed. This was one of the few matches in recent years where I had an interest in the outcome. Would the WWE let its top star get disrespected over and over by a visitor ultimately losing to said visitor in the main event of its most prestigious event? Would The Rock bother making a comeback just to lose to an opponent he seems to genuinely consider inferior to himself? The capper was the event being held in Miami, Rock’s hometown, so I was pretty sure Cena would be asked to take the loss. What I wasn’t expecting was the finish to be a clean loss, with Cena attempting to humiliate The Rock by performing the People’s Elbow only to have Rock bounce-up and nail him with the Rock Bottom for the 1-2-3.

 

Note to aspiring wrestlers: this is not how to land a shooting-star press.

Note to aspiring wrestlers: this is not how to land a shooting-star press.

9. Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar (WrestleMania XIX)

This match is mostly remembered for Lesnar’s botched shooting-star press towards the end. Lesnar had created a buzz for himself long before he debuted on WWE television by performing the shooting-star press at Ohio Valley. For a man his size to be able to pull off such a crazy maneuver was unheard of. Turns out, big men aren’t meant to fly like that because when he unveiled it at WrestleMania he damn-near killed himself. It overshadows what is a great match of technical excellence. The only low-note for me is the early going where Angle and Lesnar both try to one-up each other with amateur wrestling maneuvers. I never understood why guys would choose to go in such a direction. Pro Wrestling is popular because it’s not the ground-based amateur style. We want flashy! Whenever guys with that kind of background step into a ring though it’s as if they feel they need to acknowledge where they came from. I’m very impressed by the fact that Kurt Angle has won Olympic gold in wrestling, but I don’t want to watch it.

8. Triple H vs The Rock vs Mick Foley vs The Big Show (WrestleMania XXVI)

The only four-way-dance in WrestleMania main event history! The genesis for this match was unconventional. Most had assumed that The Rock and Triple H were destined to headline WrestleMania 2000 as The Rock was the hottest thing going and Triple H was the company’s biggest heel (and Austin was still on the shelf following neck surgery). To keep Hunter’s momentum going, they had him battle Foley for two pay-per-views ultimately defeating him a retirement match at No Way Out. Vince McMahon, in a rare bit of booking with his heart, wanted Foley to realize his dream of main eventing a WrestleMania so he convinced him to come back for this one match just a month after his retirement. Foley was apprehensive, but went ahead with it as it’s just not something any pro wrestler can turn down. And since The Big Show wasn’t doing anything, they added him to the mix as well as part of this four-way feud between the McMahons. It wasn’t a classic match, and the most memorable spot is probably Foley coming up well short on a diving elbow to the announcer’s table, but it ended with Triple H vs The Rock anyways so it’s not like the fans were denied the match they were probably supposed to have. And with Triple H coming out on top it was really the first time in WrestleMania history that the event ended with a bad guy wearing the WWF Championship.

 

Undertaker earned a rare WrestleMania main event submission victory over Edge.

Undertaker earned a rare WrestleMania main event submission victory over Edge.

7. The Undertaker vs Edge (WrestleMania XXIV)

For all of the success that The Undertaker has enjoyed at WrestleMania, he really hasn’t appeared in many main events. At least he can say the ones he’s appeared in were all pretty good. This match with Edge is a pretty good representation of a good Undertaker match. Edge and Taker work really well together with Edge being one of my favorite opponents for The Undertaker for that very reason. At this point, The Streak was a plot line so there was little doubt that The Undertaker would come out on top, but despite that, the finish was still surprising and even a bit sudden with Undertaker locking in his Hell’s Gate submission maneuver for the victory allowing The Phenom to hoist a major championship at the show’s close for just the second time in his career.

6. John Cena vs Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania XXIII)

Shawn Michaels can wrestle a great match with seemingly anyone. Not that John Cena is an Ultimate Warrior or anything, but he’s certainly not one of my favorite workers. This match may not be a WrestleMania classic, but it’s great entertainment. It starts off kind of slow but the two eventually pick-up with the pace with a lot of back and forth momentum swings. HBK is the heel here and it’s the role I’ve always preferred for him. Once again he proves he belongs in the WrestleMania main event and it kind of makes me wish he could be included in all of them. Certainly he should have been in more during his career but at least the ones we have are preserved forever.

5. Triple H vs Shawn Michaels vs Chris Benoit (WrestleMania XX)

Oh boy, how do you rank this one? I suppose the easiest thing to do is to just judge it based on the merits of the match alone, which to probably no longtime wrestling fan’s surprise, is to say it’s fantastic. These are three of the best workers in the history of the business on the grandest stage going all out to entertain the masses. The only negative thing I can say about the match itself is that too often one guy gets taken out for too long of a time. It would be one thing if a guy was taking a piledriver to the concrete and being down for five minutes but it mostly seemed like generic maneuvers were keeping guys down just to keep the match a series of one on one confrontations. Such is the weakness of the triple threat match. Of course, judging the match in such a way ignores the elephant in the room which is that Chris Benoit is a known murderer who committed the unthinkable act of killing his own family. It’s impossible to separate the wrestler from the man when such has taken place, so I do not blame anyone if they have no interest in watching this match today. For me, it does harm the match quite a bit as the big storyline within the match is Benoit trying to win his first major championship in WWE, and at the time, the ending was immensely satisfying and one of the best examples of pure joy being on display in the ring. Sadly, the image of Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit celebrating at the conclusion of the match is beyond bittersweet today.

 

One of the more memorable images from any WrestleMania conclusion.

One of the more memorable images from any WrestleMania conclusion.

4. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs The Rock (WrestleMania XVII)

WrestleMania XVII is justifiably remembered as one of the best WrestleManias of all time. It’s main event was a pretty big deal at the time too with two mega-stars in Austin and The Rock. The only other main event that even compares in terms of how popular both guys were heading into the match is Hogan vs The Giant; these two guys were just hugely over with the fans. Austin was competing for the Championship for the first time since his return from neck surgery and The Rock was not expected to just role over for the big star. With Rock becoming the top baby face in Austin’s absence, the decision to turn Stone Cold heel at the match’s conclusion was reached. Austin was the main driver behind this as he was concerned his character was growing stale. Plus he liked playing the bad guy. He also admits that if he could push the reset button on anything in his career it would be the end of this match. The two battled and had an astoundingly entertaining match with good in-ring spots as well as out of the ring spots. There was violence and comedy, and the end certainly left people talking. I too think the heel turn for Austin was a bad move. Not because he shouldn’t be a bad guy, but just the way it was done to have him suddenly align himself with Vince McMahon in such a way. It just wasn’t believable for his character. If he had used McMahon to win and then nailed Vince with a stunner or something it would have made more sense and let Austin play a tweener kind of role. Instead he became a sniveling coward which effectively killed his character.

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March 21, 2014

Ranking the WrestleMania Main Events (19-12)

By Joe
The year long feud between Macho Man and Hulk Hogan came to a head at WrestleMania V.

The year long feud between Macho Man and Hulk Hogan came to a head at WrestleMania V.

19. Hulk Hogan vs Macho Man Randy Savage (WrestleMania V)

The clash of the Mega Powers!  The WrestleMania V main event was another early WrestleMania main event that wasn’t much to write home about, but one thing it did have was legs.  The main event for WrestleMania V was unofficially booked at the conclusion of WrestleMania IV when Savage won the WWF Championship to close out the night with the aid of Hogan.  For the next year the two would tag team and feud with Dibiase and The Giant until conflict would surface between the two.  With both guys being pretty popular with fans, the WWF needed to turn one heel and it unsurprisingly went with Savage, who despite being the champion, was not as over with the fans as Hogan.  When the two finally collided, it was a case of excellent booking with a good pay-off, the type of thing that doesn’t really happen in today’s world of short attention span fans.   As I alluded to at the start, the match itself was rather poor.  Savage was a real in-ring talent, but there was nothing he could really do to elevate Hogan and the match ended up being a typical Hulk Hogan match.

18. Triple H vs Batista (WrestleMania XXI)

Batista was a real throw-back superstar.  The only things separating him from guys like Hogan and The Warrior were tattoos and a crew cut.  He had the look of the behemoth and the grace to match.  His matches never did much for me and this encounter with Triple H was a dud.  The two would go on to have better match-ups centered more around gimmicks (maybe someone realized a straight wrestling match just wasn’t playing to their strengths), but never any real classics.  Triple H has also been a pretty good worker and he has the reputation of being a technical wrestler.  Personally, I’ve always felt his reputation was forced.  Great technical wrestlers can elevate their opponents and find a way to have good matches, I don’t think Triple H has ever been that guy and he certainly wasn’t able to pull a good match out of Batista at WrestleMania XXI.

17. The Undertaker vs Sycho Sid (WrestleMania XIII)

This is a match that really has no business being as good as it is.  That’s not to say it’s a classic by any means, but before I sat down to re-watch it recently after all of these years I was expecting the worst.  My preliminary thoughts on this list had this match coming in at around number 27 or so, but here it is at 17.  Sid Justice, at the time going as Sycho Sid, is not much of a wrestler.  He was a big guy and could do some big moves, but when it came to selling a match he was awful and that part of his game is on display in this one.  Despite that, there were some good moments and he and Undertaker were able to tell a pretty decent story.  By contrast, Undertaker has always been a big guy who was a plus worker, a hard combination to find, and both guys aren’t so big that they can’t take each other’s big moves and make them look good.  The match does suffer from too many interruptions (I’m not sure if Sid was balking at losing clean to Undertaker or if the Brett Hart run-ins were just meant to setup a new feud), but otherwise is solid entertainment.

16. Triple H vs John Cena (WrestleMania XXII)

With these last few matches, we’ve entered into the part of the list where the matches aren’t bad matches, but they’re not exactly main event at the biggest show of the year quality matches.  This is another match that kind of surprised me when I watched it recently.  I’m not a John Cena fan.  Like Batista, he’s a throwback to the eighties.  He’s a superman like Hogan was where he’ll take a beating and then suddenly kick-out of a big move and hit his finisher for the win.  He’s an attraction as he was in his match with Big Show years earlier where he got the giant up onto his shoulders.  This match though is a pretty hard hitting affair with some good pacing (after a slow start).  It’s nothing to write home about, but the fact that it’s not one of the worst matches is an accomplishment I wasn’t sure it would have.

The Rock loomed large at WrestleMania XXVII despite not even being on the card.

The Rock loomed large at WrestleMania XXVII despite not even being on the card.

15. John Cena vs The Miz (WrestleMania XXVII)

As a match, this one is probably worse than the previous two.  I’ve already shared my thoughts on Cena, but The Miz is no better.  He’s Cena without the look.  As a heel, which he was at the time of this match, he was pretty good at getting heat.  In the ring though he’s sloppy, lacks polish, and has a pedestrian arsenal.   The build-up to this match though had almost nothing to do with The Miz, who was actually the champion heading into WrestleMania!  No, the storyline centered around John Cena and the host of WrestleMania XXVII:  The Rock.  When The Rock returned to Monday Night Raw he almost immediately began picking a fight with John Cena.  Their feud would carry over into the next year’s WrestleMania, especially after The Rock played a role in the outcome of this match between Cena and The Miz, and it’s the buzz that surrounded this match that helps elevate it.  Otherwise, this was a main event more befitting of Raw than WrestleMania.

I'm pretty sure there's a law somewhere that says I have to post this picture if I'm going to talk about WrestleMania III.

I’m pretty sure there’s a law somewhere that says I have to post this picture if I’m going to talk about WrestleMania III.

14. Hulk Hogan vs André the Giant (WrestleMania III)

In terms of build-up and anticipation, there is no equal when it comes to Hogan vs The Giant.  This is the main event that shattered the all-time attendance record and would stand for a long, long time.  The Giant was a huge attraction and was billed as being undefeated over his career.  Hogan was Hogan, the biggest current attraction in the wrestling world. André had also never wrestled for the championship, mostly because promoters didn’t need him to and allowed for them to have two big matches on a card: an André the Giant match, and a world championship match.  Of course, come 1987 André was a shell of his old self and nearing the end, and Hogan was…well, I think I’ve ripped on him enough at this point.  This match is awful.  The Giant can barely move and Hogan is forced to try to sell his limited offense.  The only part of the match worth watching is “The Slam” at the end.  That was a huge moment and the crowd reaction sells it perfectly.  If this were a list of best moments from a WrestleMania main event, that would be the easy choice for number one.  It’s a big enough moment that it elevates a garbage match up to number 14, which isn’t too bad if you ask me.  It was one Hell of a slam.

13. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania XIV)

Transitioning from the original mega stars of wrestling to perhaps two of the biggest in recent memory, here we have a match that really could have been something special.  It is special, but only because it marked the first time Austin won the WWF Championship and the added Mike Tyson factor at ring-side.  Unfortunately though, this was when Michaels was in tremendous pain following a serious back injury at Royal Rumble.  The injury would force him into retirement for four years before a comeback, but during the match it’s clear that Michaels isn’t right.  Some of it is a sell-job since play-by-play man Jim Ross wasn’t hiding the fact that Michaels was hurt, but a lot of it is legit discomfort.  Because of this, the match is real slow-paced with lots of rest holds and a feeling of restraint throughout.  It’s disjointed, but the finish was strong and the crowd certainly didn’t seem to mind once Austin hit the stunner.  Still, it’s hard to watch this and not wonder what could have been.

12. John Cena vs The Rock (WrestleMania XXIX)

Cena and The Rock ended their three year long feud at the conclusion of WrestleMania XXIX.

Cena and The Rock ended their three year long feud at the conclusion of WrestleMania XXIX.

The most recent main event, and part two of the Cena/Rock feud (unless you count their confrontation at WrestleMania XXVII as part one, then it’s part three) and at this point it was starting to run out of steam.  As much as people loved The Rock, myself included, it was hard to disagree with Cena’s assertions that at least he was a full-time wrestler, unlike The Rock.  The Rock was coming off as disingenuous, but he was still making people laugh.  In the ring though, it was becoming clear that Rock wasn’t the same guy as he was years ago, which is understandable.  This version of The Rock was really bulky, and since he wasn’t a full-time wrestler, he really didn’t have the stamina to carry a one-on-one match.  The two made it work the prior year, but come WrestleMania XXIX it was clear they were out of ideas as both guys resort to hitting their signature moves over and over.  Having a wrestler kick out of another guy’s big move can be a really effective way to sell the enormity of a match, but three times?  Four times?  It just loses impact.  In defense of The Rock, he did get injured during the match which may have affected his performance.  The enormity of the feud and star power of the characters is what elevates this match to this spot, not the in-ring performance.

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March 16, 2014

Ranking the WrestleMania Main Events (29-20)

By Joe

images-202It’s that time of year when WWE programming is officially declared as being “on the road to WrestleMania!”  This year, WrestleMania will be on April 6th and the main event will likely be a triple-threat match consisting of WWE Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton, Batista, and Daniel Bryan.  I say “will likely be” because technically Bryan needs to defeat Triple H in a one-on-one contest earlier in the card to secure his spot in the main event, which feels like a certainty considering the hostile crowd reactions of late towards the original main event of Orton and Batista.  No matter who is in the main event, this WrestleMania will be historic for the simple fact that it’s WrestleMania XXX.  Back in 1984 when the first WrestleMania hit pay-per-view it was considered a huge gamble for the then World Wrestling Federation.  The fact that we’re approaching the 30th edition of this event is remarkable.

WrestleMania is the big one.  For the WWE, it’s the Superbowl of professional wrestling.  And as we’ve learned over the years, just because the Superbowl contains the top two teams in the NFL each year, it doesn’t mean we’re about to see the best game of the year.  WrestleMania, and its main event in particular, is guilty of that same phenomenon.  WrestleMania has been host to some of the best matches in professional wrestling history, some of which have been main event matches, but there have been a whole host of bad ones too.  The early events are particularly guilty of this as the main event was dominated by Hulk Hogan.  Hogan is arguably the most popular wrestler in history.  Kids loved him because he was basically a super hero in the ring, but from a wrestling perspective he was awful.  His arsenal of moves was pedestrian and his no-sell antics were cartoonish.  For wrestling fans, particularly modern ones, his matches are terrible.

Hulk Hogan was involved in some capacity with the WrestleMania main event a record nine times, all of which occurred within the first nine WrestleManias.  WrestleMania IV was the only one he did not compete in, while WrestleMania IX was billed as Bret Hart versus Yokozuna, only for an impromptu match between Hogan and Yokozuna to come together after the fact (it lasted for all of a minute).  And in those eight matches Hogan participated in, he only would lose one.  Yes, Hogan dominated the early period of WrestleMania.  Since his departure, other wrestlers have come close to matching the amount of main events that Hogan amassed.  Triple H has logged six main event appearances while Shawn Michaels has managed five.  John Cena, who currently is very much active in the WWE and not likely to quit anytime soon, has also managed five giving him a legit shot at matching, or even surpassing, Hulk Hogan for main event appearances.

Hulk Hogan was synonymous with WrestleMania for the better part of its first decade.

Hulk Hogan was synonymous with WrestleMania for the better part of its first decade.

As far as the WWE is concerned, Cena or Triple H probably already holds the record.  That’s because the WWE often likes to declare multiple main events for WrestleMania (which is why when discussing Stone Cold and the Rock you will often hear it said that Austin vs Rock is the only match to be included in the main event three times at WrestleMania, even though it was the final match of the night only twice).  As far as I’m concerned, the main event is a singular phrase, and therefore, there can be only one per card.  For this feature, I’ve decided to rank the final matches on each WrestleMania card one through twenty-nine to name a best match.  It should be said that a list of the twenty-nine best WrestleMania matches would likely look very different.  After all, some of the most talked-about matches in the history of the event did not occur in the main event.  I’m talking about matches like Steamboat vs Savage, Undertaker vs HBK, or any of the many ladder matches that have taken place over the years at WrestleMania.  Coming up with the thirty or so best matches would just be too daunting a task for me, but with the help of the brand new WWE Network, revisiting and ranking the best main events is a task I think I can handle.

29. Lawrence Taylor vs Bam Bam Bigelow (WrestleMania XI)

When it comes to WrestleMania, one thing fans are certainly assured of is a celebrity appearance or two.  Vince McMahon seems to love it when he can get a celebrity to participate in his events as a way of legitimizing what the WWE does, even if most of these appearances are looked-down upon by his hardcore fan base.  This trend began with the very first WrestleMania and continues today.  When a celebrity takes on the form of a guest ring announcer or valet most fans can excuse it, but when they get in the ring?  And when that celebrity is in the main event?!  It’s nothing short of awful.  To his credit, professional football player Lawrence Taylor doesn’t embarrass himself in the ring against Bam Bam Bigelow, but the two hardly put on on a match worthy of occupying any main event, let alone the main event at WrestleMania.

28. Hulk Hogan and Mr. T vs Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff (WrestleMania)

The very first WrestleMania was the riskiest, and to make sure the event was a success, McMahon recruited any celebrity he could and even found one to include in the main event.  Mr. T, star of The A-Team, made numerous appearances for the WWF and was able to attract a lot of attention from the mainstream media.  Piper was able to get legitimate heat and people genuinely wanted to see Hogan and Mr. T kick he and Paul Orndorff’s ass.  The crowd was into it, which is the only good thing I can say about this main event.  Other than that, it’s awful.  Mr. T looks the part of a wrestler when he’s standing still, but when he tries to get involved he’s sloppy and out of place.  The other guys are unable to direct him and coach him to a decent match.  Hogan and T come out on top, but it’s not a fun ride getting to the finish.

Hulk Hogan vs King Kon Bundy at WrestleMania 2 has never been confused with a "classic" Mania match.

Hulk Hogan vs King Kon Bundy at WrestleMania 2 has never been confused with a “classic” Mania match.

27. Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy (WrestleMania 2)

It’s somewhat surprising that WrestleMania has been the success that it is considering two of the first three matches on my list are occupied by the first two WrestleMania main events.  Hogan was able to avoid being in, what I consider, the worst main event in WrestleMania history, but the next few spots aren’t going to be too kind to the Hulkster.  This match appears in this spot not because it’s awful, but mostly because it’s so uneventful.  It took place in a steel cage and I can’t decide if that helped or hurt it as it limited what the already limited competitors were able to do.  Bundy was a mountain of a man whose size limited what Hogan could do to him.  He was also too big to scale the cage walls, not that he and Hogan were likely to orchestrate a big spot from up high even if he could.  At least Hogan won by going over the cage instead of out the door, because it always sucks when a cage match ends without someone at least climbing over it.

26. Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice (WrestleMania VIII)

If you wanted to find a silver lining for the previous match, at least it was for the WWF Championship so that gives it some buzz.  This match between Hogan and Sid Justice was a non-title match, but the fans didn’t seem to care as they were pretty loud and solidly behind the Hulkster.  Sid is about as limited in the ring as Hogan, and when two big men with limited arsenals clash there just isn’t much room for a good match.  By now, Hulkamania was nearing its expiration date and the Hogan formula was well-established which meant there were no surprises, aside from the match ending in a DQ victory for Hogan.  This was a pointless main event at a forgettable WrestleMania.

25. Hulk Hogan vs Sgt. Slaughter (WrestleMania VII)

The main event for WrestleMania VII was supposed to mirror the conflict in Operation Desert Storm with the American aligned Hulk Hogan taking on the champion and Iraq sympathizer Sergeant Slaughter.  Slaughter was portrayed as a turncoat and traitor to America, which helped get the crowd into it.  In the ring, it was just another Hogan match where two guys wail on each other for ten minutes or so before Hogan “Hulks up” and takes care of business.

WrestleMania VI was hyped as The Ultimate Challenge by the WWF.

WrestleMania VI was hyped as The Ultimate Challenge by the WWF.

24. Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior (WrestleMania VI)

Some things that seem awesome when you’re a kid appear totally different through the eyes of an adult.  By WrestleMania VI, Hulkamania was running wild.  The super hero thing was working for Hogan, so why couldn’t it work for someone else?  Enter the Ultimate Warrior, who was basically an even more cartoonish version of Hogan.    He did everything Hogan did but just seemed crazier and looked more wild with his flowing locks and wild tassels.  He was impressive looking to me when I was a kid, but when I look at him now he just looks like a steroid junkie.  In the ring, he was arguably worse than Hogan as his arsenal consisted of clotheslines, shoulder tackles, and slams with the guerrilla press followed by a running splash being his version of Hogan’s big boot and leg drop.  He would even “Hulk-up” like Hogan, often running in place or grabbing the ropes for power, according to the announcers.  The whole show of the Warrior was ridiculous, and it’s no surprise he didn’t have the lasting power that Hogan did.  This match is now mostly just notable for being the only time Hogan lossed clean as a baby-face to someone.  Considering how much of a rip-off the Warrior was, it’s almost shocking that Hogan agreed to it.  The match itself is terrible, with Hogan either teasing a heel turn at one point or just plain forgetting that he was supposed to sell a leg injury.  Warrior even botches the press slam, but at least his splash looked okay.

23. Brett “The Hitman” Hart vs Yokozuna (WrestleMania IX)

Vince McMahon, and the rest of the wrestling industry, seems to love big men.  They’re viewed as attractions on their own and usually don’t even need an interesting opponent to be a draw.  Unfortunately, they’re also usually terrible in the ring due to their size.  Yokozuna is one such big man.  Billed as over 500 pounds, he’s every bit that and more.  He was supposed to be a sumo wrestler, though like most gimmicks, this was untrue but it didn’t matter because he looked the part.  He was huge and fat, and as a result, he couldn’t do much in the ring, and when he did, he became winded pretty quickly.  Brett Hart, one of the all-time great technical wrestlers, deserved better for his first WrestleMania main event.  Hart’s the type of performer that can elevate a poor opponent, but there was no elevating Yokozuna.  You either liked the spectacle or did not.  I did not, and this match is a series of clotheslines and rest holds.  Hart did manage to apply the sharpshooter, though it was kind of silly looking.  After the match ended in a Yokozuna victory, his manager Mr. Fuji quickly challenged Hogan to a match that the Hulkster would win in less than a minute.  This ridiculous finish is why I rate this match as slightly worse than the next one…

Yokozuna was a very big man.

Yokozuna was a very big man.

22. Brett Hart vs Yokozuna (WrestleMania X)

A rematch of WrestleMania IX, only with the roles reversed with Yokozuna now the defending champion.  Both guys had to wrestle a match on the undercard, and the short-of-breath Yokozuna had even less stamina than usual for the main event.  This match is actually probably worse than the one at WrestleMania IX, but without the stupid finish.  Instead Hart wins and a bunch of wrestlers come out and celebrate with him.  Yokozuna, mercifully, never appears in another WrestleMania main event.

21. Triple H vs Randy Orton (WrestleMania XXV)

This was a joyless match.  Both guys are solid technical wrestlers, with Triple H probably being the better of the two.  Neither guy is so good that on paper this would be expected to be a classic, but a good, solid match was certainly likely.  I don’t know why these guys didn’t try to put on a better showing.  It was the main event of WrestleMania XXV for crying out loud!  Instead, this was a main even fitting of television.  They just don’t do anything to make it feel special, and adding to the lack of atmosphere is the fact that the crowd isn’t into it.  Both guys immediately blow through their special moves and a lot of the early part of the match consists of both men laying on the canvas.  It picks up slightly in the second half, but never to an exciting level.  This match just sucks, and for now, is the last main event Triple H has appeared in at WrestleMania.

20. Macho Man Randy Savage vs The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase

Randy Savage spent the better part of the 80’s playing second fiddle to Hulk Hogan, even though he was clearly the superior wrestler.  His match with Ricky The Dragon Steamboat at WrestleMania III is one of the all-time classics.  Come WrestleMania IV, the WWF finally saw fit to put the strap on him, but of course, Hogan was involved.  DiBiase was one of the great workers of his generation and a classic heel.  Given different circumstances, these two could have had a great match, but the format for WrestleMania IV was not conducive to that.  WrestleMania IV consisted of a tournament for the vacated title (Hogan and André the Giant battled to a double DQ which is why he wasn’t in the main event) which meant both Savage and DiBiase had wrestled multiple times already.  As a result, the main event was pretty conventional, with both Hogan and The Giant getting involved on the outside.  Savage would get the win with the flying elbow drop, setting the stage for a year-long storyline that would lead into WrestleMania V.

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March 2, 2014

A Week With the WWE Network

By Joe

sg-ntwk_sizzle_today_revIt’s been a long road for World Wrestling Entertainment to launch its own network.  As early as September 2011, the WWE was teasing the network to its fans.  Once the calendar flipped from 2011 to 2012, WWE was ready to announce that its own network would launch by year’s end.  2012 came and went, with nary a word spoken about the network.  Fans were left to wonder if the network would go the way of GTV and vanish from thought.  After all, no one even knew what the WWE was trying to do with its own network.  Was it to be a premium cable channel?  An on-demand network?  What kind of content would fill the network?  Did anyone even really want a channel dedicated to wrestling 24/7?

WWE was quiet until late in 2013 when it came to the subject of its seemingly dead-on-arrival network.  And then, like a perfectly executed heal turn, the network was announced to great fanfare.  The long hiatus was put to good use by WWE as nearly every question that could be asked was answered immediately.  The WWE Network would be an on-demand internet channel in the same style as Netflix or Hulu.  For ten dollars a month, fans would receive access to the network and their ten dollars would go a long way:  access to new series, access to every WWF/WWE/WCW/ECW pay-per view, on-demand episodes of Raw, Smackdown, Nitro, Hardcore TV, etc.  And the kicker, every new WWE pay-per view was included live.  That meant that individuals who subscribed in April would get all of the historical content plus Wrestlemania XXX for just ten bucks.  The catch?  Well, the only catch was the announcement that a subscription was a six month commitment making the entry level price sixty bucks for Network access.  As far as catches go, this is a perfectly reasonable one otherwise fans would be constantly signing up and canceling their subscriptions just for ten dollar pay-per views (for those unaware, a WWE PPV usually runs fifty to sixty dollars, with Wrestlemania sometimes going higher).

The WWE Network has a very simple and easy to use interface, though improved search features would be appreciated.

The WWE Network has a very simple and easy to use interface, though improved search features would be appreciated.

This past Monday, the WWE Network was officially launched.  The Network is available on several platforms including PC, Mac, iPod/iPad, smart phones, PS3/PS4, Xbox 360, Roku, and probably some I’m forgetting.  The only notable exclusions right now are Smart TVs (other than Samsung), Nintendo devices, and Xbox One.  Some Smart TVs will receive support this summer, as well as Xbox One, though no word on the Wii U.  Regardless, most households have at least one of those things and should be able to access the WWE Network provided they have a broadband connection.  The first week is free on laptop and desktop devices, but I was intrigued enough to pay the sixty bucks for the six month commitment.  After one week, how do I feel about my purchase?

Initially, a little wary.  Because of the hype, and because of the free access, the servers were absolutely flooded when the Network launched on the 24th of February.  I didn’t have any problems signing up for it (unlike many folks), but when it came time to watch it quickly became obvious that the Network could not meet the demands of wrestling fans.  I first tried watching Wrestlemania XIV on my PS3.  My PS3 is on a wired connection (unlike my PS4, plus I have a remote for the PS3) so it seemed like the best way to view the network.  The PPV started with no problems and I was having a pretty damn good time with it.  The picture, up-converted since it wasn’t originally aired in HD, was sharp.  Best of all, the old WWF logo wasn’t blurred out, nor were Stone Cold Steve Austin’s one-finger salutes.  I was quite impressed and genuinely surprised at how well the experience was going, until I tried to fast-forward.  That’s when everything went to Hell and the PPV endlessly went into a buffering loop until eventually the PPV quit and I was back at the main menu.  Repeated attempts to re-launch the event stalled, and I eventually gave up.

Night two went even worse.  It started off the same, but when trying to launch an event it would only last a few minutes before crapping out.  I tried the Network on my laptop over Wi-fi, just for the Hell of it, and had the same results.  Night three was more of the same as well, and it wasn’t until Thursday that I finally was able to view an entire PPV event.  By then, the interface had been improved slightly by adding chapters to each event, making navigating to a favorite match a lot easier.  And ever since then, everything has been running smooth as silk.

As you may have guessed, I’ve been practically glued to my couch all weekend basking in wrestling nostalgia.  I’ve watched several events at this point, mostly reliving the glory of the Attitude era, but also pausing for some WCW and ECW events.  I made it a point to check out some of the more controversial items to see how WWE handled them, below:

The brief Owen Hart tribute that appears before Over the Edge '99.

The brief Owen Hart tribute that appears before Over the Edge ’99.

Over the Edge 1999 – this is the event made famous for tragic reasons as Owen Hart fell from the rafters and perished in the ring.  The camera did not catch the accident live, but the original broadcast obviously couldn’t ignore it.  WWF chose to continue with the show, but it has never been aired since or released to home video.  The WWE Network version contains a tribute to Owen at the beginning, and all mention of the accident has been cut from the program.  It’s pretty eerie watching the matches that took place after it, as it’s easy to see the concern and dread on some of the wrestlers faces.

Chris Benoit – Benoit is famous for pretty horrific reasons, and ever since he murdered his wife and son in 2007 he has not been mentioned or shown in video by the WWE.  All events that he took place in are here on the Network, uncut.  I heard there was to be a disclaimer before events containing him, but when I watched Wrestlemania XX and ECW One Night Stand there was none.  I though perhaps they would cut some of the praise aimed at Benoit from the announcers or promos, but no alterations appear to have been made.  Benoit and Eddie Guerrero’s past match celebration at the end of Wrestlemania XX is even still intact.

Other censorship – WWE promised there would be no censorship, but there are edits made to some programs.  Brief nudity, such as was the case at Fully Loaded ’98, has been blurred.  Some licensed music tracks have been removed as well, and oddly, some wrestlers have their entrance music changed.  I watched a match between Chris Jericho and Fake Goldberg which took place at WCW Fall Brawl and Jericho’s music had been replaced with his WWF Y2J theme.

In addition to all of the past PPV events, the WWE Network will have original programming as well. Of the ones announced, the Monday Night War has the most potential.

In addition to all of the past PPV events, the WWE Network will have original programming as well. Of the ones announced, the Monday Night War has the most potential.

Currently, there are no episodes of Nitro on the network and the advertised Monday Night Wars program has not been added yet either.  One surprising inclusion so far has been DVD only programs.  Last night I enjoyed watching Stone Cold Steve Austin:  The Bottom Line on The Most Popular Superstar of All Time, the documentary released on home video in 2011.  Either WWE is pulling out all the stops early, or this is a sign that other wrestler documentaries will be added that were previously only available on DVD/Blu Ray.  Other original programs, such as Legends House, have yet to be added but I don’t know if anyone is really looking forward to that one…

The real test for the WWE Network is coming:  Wrestlemania XXX.  Will the servers be able to handle it?  I’m also curious about their plans for the future, as right now all of the press releases for the Network make it a point to say 12 pay-per view events are included.  Does that mean the pay structure will change by this time next year for pay-per view events?  Questions aside, right now I would call the WWE Network a success.  It’s quite possible that after six months I’ll have had my fill, as I’m not huge into the current product, but maybe I’ll be convinced to keep it.  If you’re a long-time fan though, or someone who’s into the current product, this is for you!

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January 12, 2014

Gargoyles: Season 2 – Volume 2

By Joe
Gargoyles: Season 2 - Volume 2 (2013)

Gargoyles: Season 2 – Volume 2 (2013)

It was a long wait for fans of Disney’s Gargoyles in between DVD releases.  Volume 1 of the second season was released back in 2005 in an attractive three-disc set.  Apparently the sales for the set were not up to Disney’s standards and volume 2 of the set was either pushed back or outright cancelled.  Volume 2 was only recently released this past summer, nearly six years following the release of volume 1 and it was done in a quiet fashion.  Now Disney has its own movie club which it uses as a vehicle for delivering to people DVD sets of their less popular shows as movie club exclusives.  These sets are cheaply done but for fans of the obscure it is currently the only avenue for them to get a physical copy of their beloved programs.  Such was the fate of volume 2 for Gargoyles.  The movie club exclusive contains a minimalist jacket with a gaudy yellow border.  The DVD case itself is like that of a standard DVD with a larger central tab where all three discs are stacked one on top of the other.  The only insert is an ad for the movie club and a number to register the DVD with.  The actual DVDs contain no bonus features of any kind, just the episodes and a mostly ugly DVD menu.  It’s about as bare-bones as it gets, but for fans waiting six years for the episodes, I suppose it’s better than nothing.

The set contains the final 26 episodes for season two.  It starts with the episode “Monsters,” which if one were to look at an official episode list for the show, should have been the final episode of volume 1.  Instead, the episode “Kingdom” was moved to volume 1 for pacing issues with “Monsters” getting pushed back.  That’s because these episodes comprise the World Tour section of season 2 where Goliath, Elisa, Angela, and Bronx are being sent to all parts of the world by the island Avalon for unknown reasons.  As a result, much of season 2 does not include the other characters such as Broadway or even Xanatos.  Often times, Goliath and co. will encounter a villain from back home while on their travels but just as often they’re paired with someone new.  They also encounter many new gargoyles as Goliath gradually learns that gargoyles are alive and well all around the globe.

Angela is added as a member of the main cast in the second half of season two and plays an important role in the development of the Goliath character.

Angela is added as a member of the main cast in the second half of season two and plays an important role in the development of the Goliath character.

Because of the World Tour format, the second half of season 2 is even more episodic than the first half, meaning the episodes function mostly as stand-alone stories.  I suppose one could argue there’s an overall plot since it’s Avalon that is sending them to these destinations, but it’s a fairly loose one.  Having the setting change each episode is an easy way to inject variety into the show, but the format grows stale.  The stories often feel like filler, and as a viewer I just wanted the group to get back home or for Avalon to finally unveil it’s true intentions.  Not all of the episodes follow the Would Tour group, as there are a couple that take place back in Manhattan.  In one such episode, “Pendragon,” the legendary King Arthur and the gargoyle Griff, two individuals encountered by Goliath and co. during their travels, wind up in New York and interact with the remaining members of the Manhattan Clan.  The World Tour basically lasts for 17 additional episodes of volume 2, with the two-part “The Gathering” representing its conclusion.  It’s far too long, and getting through those episodes started to feel like a chore for me (hence why it took me so long to get to reviewing this set) which is never a good feeling for television viewing.

Thankfully, the remaining handful of episodes are pretty interesting, as is the two-part “The Gathering,” though it’s not as grand as some of the series’ other multi-part arcs.  In that story, the god Oberon is attempting to steal the newborn son of Fox and Xanatos for he possesses some unusual abilities for a mortal.  It is interesting to see Xanatos and the gargoyles take on a god, though the resolution felt a little too neat and tidy for my tastes, but I can’t deny the alternative would have worked much better.  We learn some interesting tidbits about some of the supporting characters of the show, which is one of its great strengths.  The writers never miss an opportunity to focus on a secondary character and add importance to it.  As a result, just about any character who ever had even a minor role in a prior story returns at some point, including one background character viewers likely never noticed in “Vendettas.”  This type of writing helps make the show feel more rewarding for loyal viewers and it does add depth to what would otherwise be shallow characters.

The production values for volume 2 are largely the same as that for volume 1, though the DVDs this time around are of a lower quality.  The colors aren’t as rich and sometimes the image can be grainy, but that’s expected considering this was done on the cheap.  There are still episodes where the animation is of a noticeable lower quality, while others more resemble the quality of season one.  The A+ animation is largely reserved for the bigger stories, but even a stand-alone episode here and there (like “Future Tense”) is given a more striking look.  The score remains excellent as well and the voice acting is the usual high quality Disney output.

The alternate future depicted in "Future Tense" is one of the more fun stand-alone episodes in volume 2.

The alternate future depicted in “Future Tense” is one of the more fun stand-alone episodes in volume 2.

While from an episode quality standpoint I enjoyed this set less than the previous two, there are still some excellent stand-out episodes.  I mentioned “Future Tense” already as being a stand-out in terms of production values, but it’s also a really fun story that looks at an alternate future for Manhattan.  “Sanctuary” is one of the better World Tour episodes as it includes MacBeth, Demona, and Thailog.  Thailog also makes an appearance in another strong episode back in New York, “The Reckoning,” which contains the long anticipated confrontation between Angela and Demona.  The Goliath, Angela, Demona triangle is an anchor in a few stories, and the tension between Goliath and Angela over her lineage is done well.  I don’t think it’s giving away anything to reveal that Angela is the biological daughter of Goliath and Demona, but the writers do a good job of explaining Goliath’s and the clan’s view on children, which is that all gargoyles are children of the clan.  Angela, having been raised by humans, has a human’s perspective when it comes to parents and longs for Goliath to acknowledge her as his daughter.  She has similar feelings towards Demona, though they’re obviously complicated by the fact that Demona isn’t the most likable person/gargoyle.

The Goliath/Elisa relationship is handled quite tastefully by the writers of the show.

The Goliath/Elisa relationship is handled quite tastefully by the writers of the show.

Another tension of the series is the obvious affection Goliath and Elisa feel for each other that largely goes unstated between the two.  The conclusion to the set, “Hunter’s Moon,” addresses it for the first time in a very satisfying way.  It’s hard to write such a relationship because it takes care to make it believable that an attractive woman like Elisa would have romantic feelings for Goliath.  The writers sell it well though, and while I’m not sure they could have ever pulled off a full-on romance for the two, they did find a way to get the point across.  That conclusion, by the way, is a three-part story that actually brings everything full-circle for the gargoyles.  It would have been a fine way to end the series, but a thirteen episode season 3 was picked up by ABC for their then Saturday morning block.  Series creator Greg Weisman wrote the premier for that season, dubbed The Goliath Chronicles by ABC, but had no involvement in the remaining twelve episodes.  As a result, they are not considered canon by Weisman and the series actually continued in comic book form years later.  I may look into checking out those comics but I need to know more about them first and if they’re worthwhile.  I’m pretty happy with “Hunter’s Moon” as a conclusion, as I don’t expect a season three set, and I may choose to just leave Gargoyles with how season two ended.

As for this set, it is what it is.  For those who just want the episodes, it’s the only option save for bootlegs that are probably even worse quality.  When it was released last summer, it was available for a short time on eBay through Buena Vista’s store but once those copies were gone the movie club and secondary market were the only options.  The movie club is actually worth looking into for those looking to start a Disney collection.  For those (like me) who already own a ton of Disney DVDs and Blu Rays, it doesn’t make financial sense.  Very quietly though the set moves to the traditional Disney Store website and is available there for twenty bucks.  The secondary market has yet to adjust, it would seem, as the copies are still routinely priced in excess of forty dollars.  Even so, this is likely not going to be produced in large numbers so if you’re a fan of the show it’s probably a good idea to get it while it’s relatively cheap.  Bland set or not, it’s still 26 episodes of a pretty strong show for twenty bucks and if you already have the first two it’s basically a must-have.  Gargoyles is among the elite action cartoons of the 90’s, and for me it ranks among Batman and X-Men as the best of the best.

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January 5, 2014

Space Dandy – Live With the Flow, Baby

By Joe

Space_Dandy_promotional_imageA new anime series premiered last night on Cartoon Network’s Toonami block:  Space Dandy.  Space Dandy is the latest series from Shinichiro Watanabe (which is how it got my attention, it also didn’t hurt that Toonami used a Misfits song in the TV spots leading up the premier), best known for  being the director of Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo.  I never got into Samurai Champloo (never really tried to, either), but I love Cowboy Bebop and consider it the finest anime series I’ve ever experienced.  Granted, my experiences with anime have decreased in volume over the years.  As a kid and teen I took in quite a bit.  I’m familiar with pretty much all of the big ones from the 80’s and 90’s such as Akira, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Dragonball, Fist of the North Star, and so on.  Like any medium, there are good and bad representatives.  There are also common threads amongst the various programs.  Most anime certainly shares similarities in look and appearance.  There are also certain tricks that have become cliché since, like the screaming hero jumping through the air, still frames with nothing but a mouth moving, mouths going from being really small to really large, etc.  Even so, it’s not fair to generalize and say that anime is either good or bad, or that someone is an anime fan or non fan.  Anyone with an open mind can find anime they like and don’t like, just as they can with live-action movies and television shows.

All of that was a long-winded way of saying that the success Watanabe has had in the past has little baring on Space Dandy.  Cowboy Bebop is among the greats, and holding Space Dandy up to that standard seems unfair, and yet they invite comparisons due to the Watanabe connection.  They also share other similarities.  For one, Space Dandy takes place in space (big shocker there) and the main character, Dandy, is an alien hunter.  That is quite similar to the space bounty hunter profession of the Bebop crew.  And like the Bebop crew, Dandy doesn’t appear to be very good at his job.  He’s alone on his space ship when the episode begins accompanied only by his robot assistant QT.  We soon learn QT is out-dated and becoming obsolete and the spaceship is in need of some repair as well.  Dandy’s occupation as a space hunter is to apprehend unclassified aliens, and then turn them in for profit.  I presume they need to be alive, but I’m not positive.

Expect to see lots of T&A with this program.

Expect to see lots of T&A with this program.

That’s the basic premise.  Where Space Dandy seeks to differentiate itself from prior Watanabe programs is with its look and humor.  Space Dandy is riddled with sophomoric humor.  The first episode opens with Dandy debating the merits of ass-men and boob-men before going to his favorite hang-out, the Hooters parody simply known as BooBies.  The show is accompanied by a narrator, who informs us that Dandy hopes to one day own his very own BooBies.  This narrator is really a third character, and the other characters in the show break the fourth wall more than once to acknowledge him.  The narrator is forgetful and provides updates throughout the show and fills in some of the back story, which in the first episode, almost seems irrelevant.

Dandy himself is rather dim-witted and perverted.  He’s a slow thinker, though he’s not obviously dumb like a Homer Simpson or Peter Griffen.  He’s also really self-absorbed and appears to have an obsession with his own hair.  He’s also a pretty lousy shot and poor judge of situations.  He’s not mean-spirited though, which makes him likable.  QT is similarly incompetent at its job, some of that due to the fact that its obsolete.  QT, despite being a robot, also doesn’t seem to mind being lazy.  Other characters introduced in the first episode include an alien from Betelgeuse with an unpronounceable name (he looks like some kind of space cat, so Dandy dubs him Meow against his will) and a mysterious ape-like scientist named Dr. Gel.  Dr. Gel is an ominous figure in the debut episode who is pursuing Dandy as he is the key to a war raging on.  Gel answers to a strange monarch-like figure with a flaming skull for a head and pilots a spaceship that contains the head of the Statue of Liberty with a ball-gag in its mouth.  Clearly it’s a reference to Planet of the Apes though I do wonder if it will have any relevance beyond that or if it’s just a visual gag (no pun intended).

The main goal of the show appears to be to induce laughter.  The tone is very silly and the neon colors and up-beat electronic music add to the feeling.  The plot of the first episode mostly exists to introduce the characters and then show us just how bad Dandy is in action.  It ends on an apocalyptic note, and I wonder how the second episode will open.  It’s possible there will be an absence of continuity from one episode to another though I personally doubt that.  It’s impossible to judge a series based on one episode, but Space Dandy did not make an overly strong impression on me.  It seems fun enough, but I do wonder if it will have much staying power.  It may prove too silly for my taste, but I am comforted by the fact that it took a few episodes for Cowboy Bebop to hook me so it’s possible Space Dandy will require the same.  To make myself stick with it, I’ve programmed my DVR to record it each week.  Maybe I’ll have reason to revisit this topic in a few months.

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December 15, 2013

Christmas Time in South Park

By Joe
Christmas Time in South Park (2007)

Christmas Time in South Park (2007)

South Park famously began as a video Christmas card, so it should come as no surprise that the television series (which just concluded its 17th season) has spawned many Christmas specials of its own.  Series creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone actually haven’t done a new one since 2004’s Woodland Critter Christmas, but still have output seven Christmas specials which have been conveniently compiled for the DVD release Christmas Time in South Park.  The first run of Christmas specials for the show actually felt connected to one another as they all explored the spirit of Christmas:  what is it?  What does Christmas mean?  Of course, this being South Park, don’t expect a lot of feel-good and overly sentimental holiday themes as is found in most Christmas specials, though surprisingly some of these episodes echo their tamer counterparts and some even have a good heart at the center of the story.

Lets talk about these episodes, and specifically, the DVD release of Christmas Time in South Park.  The DVD case and menus echo those Little Golden Book releases you may remember from your childhood.  The menus are animated and the characters will berate you for taking too long to select a feature.  The cursor of your DVD player, naturally, is represented by a smear of Mr. Hankey leavings.  All seven Christmas specials are featured in chronological order.  Unfortunately, all seven are also censored like their season release counterparts (for South Park’s older episodes, uncensored versions do not exist as no one anticipated there being a huge market for full seasons of TV shows) which means you’ll be hearing beeps whenever the characters utter a colorful phrase.  Also missing, is the short that started it all:  The Spirit of Christmas.  This seems like a huge and careless omission to me.  Why go through the effort of putting out a compilation of Christmas specials and leave out the very first one? My only guess is that the studio felt that The Spirit of Christmas was too strong a selling point for releases like South Park:  The Hits and its inclusion would harm other DVD sales.  Quite possibly, it was just forgotten as this DVD was slapped together quickly to cash-in on the holiday season.

The first Christmas special, and the one that introduced Mr. Hankey to the world.

The first Christmas special, and the one that introduced Mr. Hankey to the world.

At least there are still seven, mostly excellent, Christmas episodes for your viewing pleasure.  The first being Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.  This was South Park’s first Christmas special and apparently Parker and Stone wanted to create a new Christmas icon for the world they created so they turned to a talking piece of shit.  Parker and Stone hold nothing back when it comes to Mr. Hankey.  He’s disgusting, and they don’t want you to forget that so we get bits of him leaving poo trails everywhere he goes and even bathing in Mr. Mackey’s coffee, while he sips it.  The framework of the episode is Kyle feeling excluded from all of the Christmas excitement on account of him being Jewish.  Simultaneously, Kyle’s mother (the Jewish community) is upset about the inclusion of the nativity in a school Christmas play.  Her complaining to the mayor sets off a chain reaction where in response the devout Catholics in town demand to see Santa removed from the play, hippies want to get rid of Christmas trees, epileptics demand the removal of Christmas lights, and the virgins (presumably) want to get rid of mistletoe.  The show is clearly poking fun at all of the people that get uptight over Christmas, and Mr. Hankey is called on to save the day.  That the town needs to listen to crap in order to see the error of its ways is probably a commentary on something too.  Everyone thinks Kyle is insane for seeing and believing in Mr. Hankey, until the boys find out Chef does as well.  Once everyone believes, Mr. Hankey reminds everyone that Christmas is a time to be nice to one another, forget about all of the bad stuff in the world, and bake cookies.  Kyle is released from the nut house, and Kenny lives to see the end credits for the first time.  It’s a wacky Christmas special, that may still be the show’s best, with tons of gross-out and hilarious moments.

Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson! is the second season’s Christmas special and it’s subversive in a different way.  Rather than try to be absurd and gross people out with singing poop, Parker and Stone decided to use an unlikely character and have him saved by Christmas.  Enter mass-murderer Charlie Manson, faithfully depicted with a swastika tattooed on his forehead.  Cartman and his mom are heading to Nebraska to visit family for Christmas, and the boys have been invited along.  Kyle is allowed to go presumably because his family is Jewish and couldn’t care less that it’s Christmas while Kenny’s family is sending him on a  mission to bring back leftovers.  Stan’s mom is the only one who has a problem with her son being away from the family at Christmas, so Stan sneaks out and tells the Cartmans that his family is dead.  When the boys get to Nebraska (after a long and torturous car ride full of singing) they find that a house full of Cartmans is a horrible place to be as all of them basically act just like their own Eric Cartman.  They soon find out that Cartman has an incarcerated Uncle Howard, as he breaks out of jail and (stupidly) returns to hide-out in his parent’s basement.  He brings along his buddy, Charlie Manson, whom the boys are ignorant of.  When no one will take them to the mall to see Mr. Hankey, Manson offers to do it himself to avoid sitting and watching Christmas specials all day.  At the mall though, he watches a poop version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas and begins to see the light.  He gets his tattoo altered into a smiley face, and takes the kids home, but not before attracting the attention of the local police.  They’re soon all trapped in the house as Uncle Howard takes the family hostage.  Manson, now full of Christmas spirit, convinces Howard to surrender and even reminds Stan that Christmas is a time for family.  The episode ends with the characters from the episode in Manson’s jail cell wishing him a merry Christmas, Charlie Brown style.  As Stan reminds us, this is some pretty fucked up shit right here.

If you don't like his special, he has some balls you can suck.

If you don’t like his special, he has some balls you can suck.

Season Three’s Christmas special is Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics.  It’s just a collection of songs, some traditional and some new, sung by the characters of South Park.  It’s kind of a love it or hate it episode, and one I’m not really fond of.  However, Mr. Hankey instructs the audience during the intro that if we don’t like it we can suck his tiny little balls.  As small as they may be, I don’t want to suck any poo balls so I’ll cease to speak of this episode right here.

Season Four brings us A Very Crappy Christmas and it could basically be re-titled as The Story of South Park.  That’s because in it the boys actually create and animate The Spirit of Christmas just like their creators.  Following the events of the first two Christmas specials, the people of South Park now understand that Christmas is a time for being merry and spending with one’s family.  The commercialism is gone, and the boys are pretty pissed off about not getting presents so they go looking for a strangely absent Mr. Hankey.  They find their favorite piece of crap has been MIA because he now has a wife and turds of his own.  As the boys lament the absence of what they perceive to be the Christmas spirit, they get the idea to make their very own Christmas special.  The mayor, who needs the commercialism to spur the economy, agrees to fund their little project.  Nothing goes right, but when Kyle channels his own inner Christmas spirit (and the Rankin/Bass feature Twas the Night Before Christmas) he gets everyone back on track.  Most of the episode is a parody of Twas the Night Before Christmas while also containing numerous in-jokes for longtime South Park fans.  In the end, they’re able to show the town The Spirit of Christmas and everyone realizes that Christmas is about one thing:  presents.  Everyone starts shopping immediately and the town’s economy is saved.  Yay!

The Hankey family expands in A Very Crappy Christmas.

The Hankey family expands in A Very Crappy Christmas.

Season Five was the first to not feature a Christmas episode, but season six restored order with Red Sleigh Down, a parody of Black Hawk Down and the conclusion of what I see as the Christmas story started in season one.  In it,  Cartman desperately wants some slick new toy but realizes he’s been far too naughty to hope to get anything from Santa so he goes all out to be nice at the last minute.  His scheming leads him to believe that if he helps Santa bring Christmas to Iraq that will be enough, so he enlists the help of Stan and Kyle (Kenny’s been dead all season) and eventually Mr. Hankey in order to do so.  Mr. Hankey is thrilled at Cartman’s Christmas spirit and agrees to help by taking the boys to the North Pole aboard the Poo-Choo Express (it’s just as disgusting as you imagine).  Santa agrees that Christmas should be brought to Iraq, and the boys watch from the North Pole as Santa’s sleigh is shot down by an RPG over Iraq.  Now feeling guilty and terrified by the prospects of no more Christmas presents, the boys enlist the help of the one man who can save Santa:  Jesus.  They all take Santa’s back-up sleigh to Iraq where Jesus becomes a one-man death machine as he takes out numerous soldiers to save Santa.  Their escape goes wrong when Jesus is shot from behind and dies in Santa’s arms.  They’re able to escape, but not before a vengeful Claus does finally bring Christmas to Iraq.  Back in South Park, the townspeople have been distracted by the speech impediment of Jimmy who’s attempting to recite The Twelve Days of Christmas, an episode-long gag.  Santa lights the town tree and addresses the crowd telling them that Christmas should be a day to reflect on the sacrifice one man-made to save Christmas:  Jesus.  And with that, the spirit of Christmas is modified once again in the South Park canon to be a day dedicated to Jesus.

Santa and Jesus team-up in Red Sleigh Down.

Santa and Jesus team-up in Red Sleigh Down.

With the spirit of Christmas now fully defined, Parker and Stone decided to take the boys on a Christmas adventure to Canada, of all places.  The new Canadian Prime Minister has decided that all Canadian born children be returned to Canada, which means Kyle’s adopted brother Ike is required to go.  Kyle enlists the help of his friends to go appeal to the Prime Minister, though they’re all reluctant to risk missing Christmas.  They go anyway, and in Canada they find a world not unlike Oz where the locals instruct them to “follow the only road.”  Just like The Wizard of Oz, the boys encounter other Canadian citizens looking to appeal to the Prime Minister about something, while the villainous Scott, from the Terence and Philip special, makes a return.  In the end, they discover the new Prime Minister is actually Saddam Hussein in hiding, and his new laws are overturned while the boys do in fact miss Christmas.  Cartman is unable to see the bright-side in Kyle getting his brother back, while Stan laments on missing out on a Christmas adventure, oblivious to what just happened.  It’s Christmas in Canada is not one of my favorites, and it’s probably the weak link on this DVD, though I do know more than one person who finds the episode hilarious.  I think I would like it more if it had more to do with Christmas.  It’s not really a Christmas special, just an episode that takes place during Christmas.

"It's Critter Christmas, dude, it sucks ass!"

“It’s Critter Christmas, dude, it sucks ass!”

This brings me to the last episode on the DVD, and so far, the last Christmas episode South Park has done:  Woodland Critter Christmas.  Seemingly out of ideas for a Christmas special, Parker and Stone decide to just completely subvert the idea of a Christmas special.  In this episode we have an innocent sounding narrator tell the story of a boy trying to help a group of talking woodland critters so that they can have a merry Christmas.  The critters are intentionally made to seem sterile and innocent while the episode is also intended to appear to be a cookie-cutter Christmas special with little thought or effort (the main character has no name, all of the animals names are just the name of the animal with a long “e” sound at the end, such as Deery the deer, Rabbity the rabbit, and so on).  Of course, the catch is that these animals are trying to bring about the birth of their lord and saviour.  Porcupinie has been impregnated by their god, but a mean old mountain lion wants to kill her, so the boy (Stan) is enlisted to help.  He succeeds by killing the mountain lion, who also happened to be a mother to three cubs, only to find out the critters worship Satan and the porcupine is set to deliver the anti-christ.  The tables are turned and soon Stan is left trying to prevent the coming of the anti-christ and he’ll receive help from Santa and a little thing called abortion.  Woodland Critter Christmas basically sets out to be the most obscene Christmas special one could dream up.  It’s almost as if Parker and Stone just wanted to top their prior specials in terms of shock-appeal and perhaps because they haven’t thought up a way to top this one is why we haven’t seen any new Christmas specials from South Park.  If this is the type of thing you can laugh at, then Woodland Critter Christmas should do the trick.  It’s ridiculous, but also pretty damn hilarious.

These specials are a big part of my memories growing up, even into college.  It seemed like each one was a topic of conversation when it originally aired because people generally couldn’t believe what they just saw.  South Park has had a lot of moments like that over the years, and for whatever reason, Christmas seems to bring out the best in it.  I love the sappy, sentimental Christmas specials that dominate the air during this time of year, but sometimes it’s nice to watch something that is decidedly less reverential towards the holiday season.  South Park does the trick, and Christmas Time in South Park is a convenient release and a suitable way to get my laugh on during the month of December.

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December 8, 2013

A Mickey Mouse Christmas

By Joe

Mickey Mouse has appeared in many Christmas themed specials and shorts over the years.  I suppose that should be expected of a character who has been around for over 80 years.  I don’t think he’s appeared in more Christmas specials than any other popular character (the boys in South Park actually had a nice streak going on of a Christmas special nearly every year) but he’s certainly in the discussion.  Many of Mickey’s Christmas exploits took place on the big screen in the form of shorts, but have since become television staples during the Christmas season.  Rather than make an individual post here and there on certain ones, I’ve decided to make one long post that hits on the ones I’m most familiar with.  This list isn’t exhaustive as I’m sure there are more modern television specials that I’m not familiar with, but consider this a good start.  The following list is in chronological order, starting with the earliest.  They’re all available on DVD in some fashion, and the old shorts can be found on youtube as well (Disney is pretty lax with its old shorts when it comes to youtube, probably because the Treasures line of DVDs is out of print)

Mickey’s Good Deed (1932)

The original version was in black and white, but colorized versions exist today.

The original version was in black and white, but colorized versions exist today.

Mickey’s rise to fame nearly coincided with The Great Depression.  As such, it’s a pretty common site to see Mickey depicted poor and penniless.  In Mickey’s Good Deed, he’s a street performer looking to make a buck.  As far as we know, his only possessions are his cello and Pluto.  After a day of playing, Mickey and Pluto look to score some dinner and find that passer-byes have been tossing nuts and bolts into Mickey’s cup instead of coins.  Down on their luck, Mickey has a mishap that leads to the destruction of his cello, while a rich pig offers to buy Pluto for his bratty kid.  Mickey, of course, refuses but he soon happens upon a family of poor cats.  Wanting to give them a good Christmas, Mickey reluctantly sells his dog, dresses up as Santa, and gives the cat family a nice Christmas.  Pluto, meanwhile, is miserable as he’s abused by the bratty boy pig leading to the father tossing him out and spanking his kid.  Pluto is able to happen upon a despondent Mickey and we get a nice, happy ending.  It’s a cute little Christmas short that unfortunately is never shown on air because of one instance of perceived racist imagery.  A little balloon the Santa Mickey carries appears to depict a blackface character portrait on it.  This means the short is relegated to the vault section on the release Mickey Mouse In Black and White Volume 2.  Despite that, it’s actually been released here and there on VHS and DVD, including a colorized version on the most recent release Holiday Celebration with Mickey and Pals.

Toy Tinkers (1949)

It's all-out war when Chip and Dale sneak into Donald's house.

It’s all-out war when Chip and Dale sneak into Donald’s house.

I’m cheating here, because this is actually a Donald Duck short and does not feature Mickey, but who cares?  This Christmas themed short pits Donald versus perhaps his most famous antagonists:  Chip and Dale.  While out chopping down a Christmas tree, the mischievous chipmunks take notice and follow Donald back to his home where they see a nice, warm environment and bowls full of nuts.  The duo slip in and immediately start using the toys around the tree to transport the nuts out of there.  Donald, not one for charity, takes note and a full-scale battle breaks out over the nuts with the two using pop guns and toy cannons on each other.  It’s a silly, and fun short where Donald is mostly punished for his cruelty (and because it’s more fun to see Donald lose his temper) and things mostly work out for Chip and Dale.  Unlike Mickey’s Good Deed, this one will pop up from time to time on the Disney channel during the holiday season.  Otherwise, it can be found on some compilation releases and the Treasures release The Chronological Donald Volume 3.

Pluto’s Christmas Tree (1952)

Pluto is very protective of his Christmas tree.

Pluto is very protective of his Christmas tree.

Despite what it’s title suggests, Pluto’s Christmas Tree is actually considered a Mickey Mouse short instead of a Pluto one, for some reason.  It’s also one of the few shorts to feature Jimmy Macdonald as Mickey Mouse, as Walt found he didn’t have the time to voice the character any longer.  Pluto’s Christmas Tree is actually fairly similar to Toy Tinkers.  Mickey and Pluto set out to get a Christmas tree and they settle on one that happens to be occupied by Chip and Dale.  Once inside the house, Chip and Dale immediately start to make themselves comfortable in the Christmas tree while Pluto takes notice.  Pluto tries, in vain, to point out the chipmunks to Mickey who just sees Pluto’s antics as the usual.  Eventually he can’t take it anymore and attacks the tree, finally revealing the chipmunks to Mickey who basically has the opposite reaction as Pluto.  The short ends with Christmas carols, where the chipmunks take issue with Pluto’s singing voice.  This is another wildly entertaining Chip and Dale story mostly full of slapstick humor.  This one is really easy to get ahold of as it’s been released several times on VHS and DVD and is one of the most well-received Disney shorts.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983)

Not a Christmas season goes by where I don't watch this one numerous times.

Not a Christmas season goes by where I don’t watch this one numerous times.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol is fairly recent compared with the other shorts.  It’s also quite easy to catch on television or find on DVD and was even recently rereleased on Blu Ray (along with Pluto’s Christmas Tree, among others) this year.  It’s the classic Dickens’ tale with Mickey as Bob Cratchit and Minnie as his wife.  Scrooge McDuck is, naturally, the film’s Scrooge while other Disney characters show up in supporting roles.  As far as takes on A Christmas Carol go, this one is my favorite as it’s both funny and poignant and the inclusion of Disney characters somehow makes it more relatable.  The recent re-release does make it all the more obvious that one giant Christmas release from Disney is necessary.  Mickey’s Christmas Carol is also how many were first introduced to the longest running voice of Mickey Mouse, Wayne Allwine (who passed away in 2009), and also marks the final performance of the original Donald, Clarence “Ducky” Nash.

Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (1999)

Once Upon a Christmas is far from timeless, but it is nice to see all of the Disney characters together at Christmas time once again.

Once Upon a Christmas is far from timeless, but it is nice to see all of the Disney characters together at Christmas time once again.

Once Upon a Christmas is a traditionally animated direct-to-video collection of three shorts starring Donald, Goofy, and Mickey.  It’s shown annually on television still and represents the modern Mickey Mouse and friends.  The first short, titled Stuck on Christmas, stars Donald and his nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie and is a take on the story of What if Christmas Were Every Day?  In it, the three boys wish it could be Christmas every day and are then forced to deal with the consequences.  It’s a bit like Groundhog Day, in that the boys need to be considerate of others and have the perfect day to undo the spell.  The second short, A Very Goofy Christmas, stars Goofy and his son Max as Goofy tries to prove to Max that there is a Santa Claus after their neighbor Pete informs him there’s no such thing.  The third short, Mickey and Minnie’s The Gift of the Magi, once again depicts Mickey as rather poor as both he and Minnie try to scrounge up some money to buy each other the perfect Christmas gift with both discovering the only thing that matters is having each other.  The animation on all three is pretty well done and it’s kind of fun to see modernized versions of the characters.  Aside from the Mickey short, the others tend to run a bit too long and run out of steam towards the end.  It’s a solid Christmas special but falls short of being a classic due mostly to the pacing issues.

Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas (2004)

Another direct-to-video Christmas special, Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas is naturally the sequel to Once Upon

The CG look for the characters just doesn't do it for me, and as you can see here, the backgrounds suffer too.

The CG look for the characters just doesn’t do it for me, and as you can see here, the backgrounds suffer too.

a Christmas, though the stories contain no obvious references to the previous ones.  Differing itself from its predecessor, Twice Upon a Christmas is entirely computer animated and the results are something less than spectacular.  The characters are mostly harmed by the transition to 3D models which makes sense considering they were never drawn for such a look to begin with.  This collection also contains five shorts which does address the pacing issues from the first set.  The shorts are:  Belles on Ice, Christmas: Impossible, Christmas Maximus, Donald’s Gift, and Mickey’s Dog-Gone Christmas.  The first one stars Minnie and Daisy as competitive figure skaters and is easily the worst of the set.  There just isn’t much to it.  Christmas: Impossible stars Huey, Dewey, and Louie as they sneak into Santa’s workshop to get on the nice list.  It’s kind of cute, but the CG really shows its limitations as the should-be wondrous Santa’s workshop is really unimpressive looking.  Christmas Maximus stars Goofy and Max, who’s now returning home for the holidays from college with his new sweetheart.  It’s only slightly better than Belles on Ice but is ultimately forgettable.  I also found Max’s look to be really off-putting for some reason.  Donald’s Gift is a rather simple Donald tale where his grumpiness and overall bad demeanor nearly ruin Christmas for his family, but he redeems himself in the end.  I’m a Donald sucker, so I was entertained by this one but it can’t hold a candle to Donald’s classic shorts.  Mickey’s Dog-Gone Christmas is definitely the strongest of the collection as Pluto runs away to the North Pole after Mickey gets mad at him.  There he befriends Santa’s reindeer and adopts the moniker Murray (Murray Christmas, get it?!) and even gets to fly.  The reindeer characters are entertaining, and the CG look actually works for Pluto, though I still prefer the traditional look.  Eventually Pluto is reunited by Santa with his depressed owner and everyone’s happy in the end.  Overall, this is a weak collection and the CG makes it hard to watch.  Check it out if you happen to catch it on TV, but don’t feel like you need to go out of your way to see it.

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December 7, 2013

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (4Kids): The Christmas Aliens

By Joe

images-166In 2003, Fox and 4Kids Entertainment launched a brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon series.  This series was the first re-launch for the TMNT after a long hiatus from both film and television and was an attempt at introducing the Turtles to a whole new generation.  One of the consultants for the show was TMNT co-creator Peter Laird and his Mirage Studios.  Something everyone seemed to be in agreement on was that this new show would borrow more heavily from the original comic book run of the Turtles while still keeping a general audience in mind.  This is, of course, in stark contrast to the original cartoon which all but abandoned the comics as both Laird and Kevin Eastman felt it was impossible to adapt that for a children’s show.  It would be easy to point to that decision as a mistake, but really that original show gave the world a whole separate take on the Turtles that proved endearing, if nothing else.

The 2003 series was more mature, but still pretty much directed at kids.  It took a lot from the old comics but also did its own thing.  Eventually, it would more or less go off on its own, especially once it hit the Fast Forward seasons towards the end of its run.  I can’t pretend to be an expert on the series as I really only watched the first season before eventually losing interest.  The show seemed to be fairly successful, though not a huge hit, with kids.  There was a new toy line and I’m sure the show’s success had some part in the decision to do the feature-length TMNT film.

The source material for this episode.

The source material for this episode.

Something unique to this series is that it contains what is, so far, the only animated Christmas special the Turtles have ever done.  It seems crazy to me that there was a never a Christmas episode during the original cartoon run, but I checked, and there isn’t!  The new series has also yet to do one, but it wouldn’t shock me to see one pop up eventually.  The only Christmas special featuring the TMNT so far is the live-action “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas” and if you’ve never seen it, DON’T WATCH IT!  The 4Kids series decided for its third season to adapt the Michelangelo (then Michaelangelo) Micro Series story for its first episode, “The Christmas Aliens.”  Having read that issue, I was interested in checking this episode out as that story is one of my favorites from the comics as it puts Michelangelo in the starring role as he attempts to make sure a donation of Christmas toys gets to a local orphanage.

Each episode of the series opens with a scene from later on in the episode, usually with a turtle or turtles in some kind of trouble.  This one opens with Michelangelo driving a truck as he’s being chased by some crooks before the opening credits hit.  The opening song for this show is one of its weak points.  I don’t care for the song on the new series, but it’s at least a throwback to the old series so I give it some points.  This one is just lazy.  When we get to the episode it shows Michelangelo strolling through the park on Christmas Eve.  The other guys are back at home in the sewer decorating for the evening’s festivities while Mike befriends some kids in the park and finds a stray kitten he dubs Klunk.  It doesn’t take long for Mikey to stumble upon a toy store that’s in the process of being robbed.  Apparently, this season’s hottest toy is a Christmas Alien doll (I believe in the comics it was intended to be a parody of the then mega-popular Cabbage Patch Kids) and it’s sold out everywhere.  A delivery truck loaded with them is the target of the thieves, but Mikey overhears the truck driver tell the crooks it’s intended for a local orphanage.  The crooks obviously don’t care as they make off with the truck and Mikey feels compelled to stop them.

That's one weird looking Santa. I can't imagine he smells all that great as well.

That’s one weird looking Santa. I can’t imagine he smells all that great as well.

At the lair, various other characters start piling in.  I actually can’t name any of them since I didn’t watch the show regularly, except for Usagi Yojimbo who arrives with two other characters via some kind of portal.  All of the Turtles’ friends are here though to celebrate Christmas and some mischief is made.  Casey tries in vain to score a kiss under the mistletoe from April, while everyone tries their luck at beating the resident superhero in an arm-wrestling contest.  Everything has to be put on hold though as they all wait for Michelangelo to get home.

Meanwhile, Michelangelo has to contend with a bunch of crooks and even the police as he overtakes the delivery truck and heads for the orphanage.  The majority of the episode is a chase sequence, first with Mikey hanging onto the truck as he tries to take it over, then with more bad guys, and eventually the police.  The animation shows its limitations here as the truck looks extremely heavy.  It strikes parked cars and other moving vehicles and goes right through them without even the slightest wobble.  It’s an okay sequence, but not a very exciting one.  The Michelangelo character in this series is enjoyable though, and Klunk is supremely cute as he hides in Mike’s coat and pops his head out to take a look.

Michelangelo is eventually able to lose his pursuers and wind up back at the lair.  Everyone is ready to scold him for being late, but he of course explains himself and everyone heads to the orphanage.  The Turtles don elf costumes while Splinter goes as Santa and all the kids get their alien dolls.  We get a final lesson on giving, and everyone feels like a good person in the end.

Elf Mike and Klunk.

Elf Mike and Klunk.

As Christmas specials go, this is a solid entry.  It’s not too sentimental, there’s no silly drama, and everyone ends up with a good feeling when all is said and done.  There’s some light humor that is, while not inventive, at least amusing.  Michelangelo is a good choice for the lead role in this one as he’s always been the one that’s easiest to relate to.  His child-like state of mind doesn’t need to be exaggerated any further to make the story work.  In the comics, Klunk stayed around and would show up in future issues.  I don’t know if that was the case here or not but I never mind the addition of a kitten to story.  This episode was released on DVD as a Michelangelo’s Christmas Rescue and if you stumble upon it in your travels it wouldn’t be a horrible pick-up.  The running time is only around 22 minutes so definitely don’t pay too much should you come across it.  Since Nickelodeon launched the new series last year, episodes from this show are no longer on television so don’t expect to find it airing on any channels this season.  As always, there’s youtube if you really want to watch it.

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August 25, 2013

Gargoyles: Season 2 Volume 1

By Joe

Gargoyles_DVD_2The cover of the DVD release of Gargoyles Season 2 dubs it as Volume 1 of the second season.  At first glance, that may seem like a greedy way to release a show to DVD, but that is not the case.  A common practice of children’s animated television was to order 65 episodes as early in the life of the series as possible to make the programming eligible for syndication where more money could be made off of it.  I say “was” because I’m not sure if that is still the case with numerous cable outlets now providing a lot of the entertainment these days.  Gargoyles was not originally broadcast on cable though, which is why season 2 is 52 episodes long, which following the 13 episode first season, gets the series to 65 total episodes.  Sometimes networks are so confident the show will be a hit they go right from the pilot to a 65 episode order.  This was the case for the still popular Batman:  The Animated Series which featured a pretty bankable star in Batman, but Gargoyles was an all new intellectual property so Disney opted to go for a trial run with the first 13 episodes before going all in.

The process of large season orders seems like a win for fans of the show.  After all, a 52 episode season would theoretically allow for a new episode every week for an entire year, though this wasn’t the case for Gargoyles since it was an afternoon program.  It does usually mean shorter wait times between new episodes, but things can get a little erratic since the season will usually begin airing while a lot of episodes are still in production.  There’s also the other downside to a large season such as this which is these episodes need to get produced quickly, and more people are needed for production and story-writing.  The first season of Gargoyles was a tight, neat collection of episodes with high-quality animation for television.  Season 2 sometimes has the feel of “too many cooks in the kitchen” and episodes become more stand-alone in nature.  The animation is still among the best when Gargoyles is compared with its contemporaries, but there are some drop-offs and it’s apparent that the show had multiple teams for animation.  Some episodes feature sharp lines and tight animation while others are more rounded and toon-like with characters often making over-exaggerated gestures (those familiar with X-Men likely have an idea of what I’m talking about).  Which one looks best is a matter of taste though (I prefer the harder look for this program) at least, with the overall animation quality usually pretty strong from episode to episode.

There are some pretty interesting plot twists to find in season two.

There are some pretty interesting plot twists to find in season two.

Inconsistent animation is expected when a show requires a large amount of episodes be produced, but my main concern for Gargoyles was how the writers would respond when tasked with filling so many hours.  The first season largely operated in a serial format with each episode tied to one overall plot.  Some felt more stand-alone than others, but all plots were referenced at one point or another and the overall quality of the story-telling was quite good.  I knew season 2 would have to feature more stand-alone episodes, but thankfully very few feel like throw-away or filler episodes.  Many of these one-shots still contain plot devices that have repercussions on the episodes to follow, such is the case with the conclusion of the episode “The Mirror” when Demona gains a new power.  Many others choose to introduce new villains or allies that will pop up in later episodes, as is the case with the characters Doctor Sevarius and Jeffrey Robbins.  In short, the structure of the show remains rewarding for longtime fans.  This does come at the cost of making the show a little harder to jump into at any point for newcomers, but since it’s no longer on television, this is really no longer a concern.

There are many stand-alone episodes, but there’s also no shortage of multi-part arcs.  The first half of season two contains the four part “City of Stone” and the three part “Avalon.”  Both are heavily reliant on flashbacks as it seems one goal for season 2 was to flesh out the villains even further, specifically Demona and MacBeth.  We learn about their history together and how Demona has survived the centuries and remained largely the same in appearance.  In season one, we the viewers were basically left to assume that gargoyles are extremely long-lived given that Demona was not affected by the Masgus’ spell like the others, but we learn in season 2 that is not the case.  There are lots of other recurring characters in season 2 such as The Pack, Tony Dracon, Derek Maza, Coldstone, and of course Xanatos.  Xanatos is still primarily an adversary of the Manhattan Clan, but he’s also an unlikely ally in several episodes.  One could even suggest that the writers go to this well a bit too often, but such is the case when 52 episodes have to be written in a short amount of time.  Still, I like the role Xanatos plays on this show of the equal opportunist who has his own agenda that isn’t always clear.  By the end of the first half of the season viewers, and even Goliath to some degree, have mostly caught on to Xanatos and the game he plays making me wonder what role he’ll play going forward (as I honestly can’t recall from my days of watching this as a kid).  Xanatos is also paired this time around with Fox, of The Pack, as his love interest which is a rather interesting dynamic.

Now where have I seen that dress before?

Now where have I seen that dress before?

Another part of the plot the writers seemed eager to explore in season 2 was the relationship between Elisa and Goliath.  Elisa was Goliath’s main confident, along with Hudson, by season one’s end and he (as well as the other gargoyles) clearly feel a strong sense of protection with her.  In season 2 it’s becoming more obvious that they have a stronger bond than just friends.  Sometimes the show is pretty obvious about it, but for the most part they let it go unstated and attempt to keep things subtle.  It has a nice progression throughout.  Disney fans will also particularly enjoy a scene from the episode “Eye of the Beholder.”

Gargoyles was never a series afraid to introduce characters, and many new villains are brought into the fold in season 2.  New allies, as well.  A pet peeve of mine with X-Men was always how the writers would tease a new character joining the X-Men but would never go through with it.  Towards the end of season 2, the writers chose to add a new member to the clan.  To better introduce this character, the writers shrink the cast down to just Goliath, Elisa, Bronx, and the new-comer for the unofficially titles World Tour episodes.  These episodes spill over into the second part, and series creator Greg Weisman actually bumps up one episode from the second half, “Kingdom,” to serve as the final episode in this collection.  This final episode takes place in New York and we get to see what the rest of the clan is up to with Goliath missing.  This is probably something Weisman regretted not doing originally, as when these aired we went 10 episodes without seeing the other characters which seems much too long.  The World Tour will continue well into the second half though I do not suspect any other episodes were re-arranged as no one affiliated with the show had any say in the release of volume 2, that I know of.

The relationship between Demona and MacBeth is fully revealed in season two.

The relationship between Demona and MacBeth is fully revealed in season two.

Gargoyles:  Season 2 Volume One largely carries over the quality of the first season and only enhances the show’s reputation as one of the better animated programs from the 1990’s.  Season One is probably superior when judged on quality, but the second DVD release for the series obviously boasts more content.  The release itself is also much nicer and includes some bonus features in comparison with the bare-bones season one release.  Unfortunately, season two did not meet the sales expectations of Disney and volume two was never commercially released until just recently.  Volume two is even more sparse than the first season release, and is currently only available to members of Disney’s Movie Club.  I’m not a member of that club, but did find out Buena Vista has an ebay account that basically specializes in selling these exclusives and was able to get one from there.  I don’t know if they restock or not, but that is definitely the best bet for those who want a copy as the secondary market is a little inflated right now.

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