Tag Archives: The Undertaker

A Bloated Preview of WrestleMania 34

3365454-dekI swear the WWE won’t rest until it dominates every facet of my life. WWE already wants me to watch 5 hours of television programming per week, plus 2 hours of additional content on the Network each week. Then they drop in a special Facebook tag team tournament and a Pay-Per View event almost every other week that routinely runs 4 hours. Now they want me to devote upwards of 7 hours of my Sunday to WrestleMania every year. Let’s be realistic, 7 hours is way too long for any single event be it a World Series game, Super Bowl, Daytona 500, or whatever. I’m not even sure how often I’ve sat and watched 7 hours of a favorite TV show in a marathon fashion. And in the case of WrestleMania, that 7 hours is the capper to a weekend of wrestling content as the Hall of Fame ceremony and NXT Takeover events occur the previous nights.

I’m exhausted just thinking about it, and honestly it does dampen my enthusiasm for WrestleMania, which I otherwise normally really look forward to. I like that it’s over the top and the big capper on what feels like a “season” for WWE programming. And I do understand why it ends up being so damn long because the talent on the roster all know how important WrestleMania is so WWE seems to try its best to include everyone. This is how you end up with a giant card and two battle royals. It used to be that everyone on the card would receive a payment proportional to the “gate” for the event, which included PPV buys. As a result, WrestleMania was always one of the best pay days of the year for wrestlers. Now, with everything being on the WWE Network for the low, low price of $9.99 per month, that annual payment probably is much smaller since fewer people watch the event via PPV, but it’s still probably a better pay day than every other event they put on.

Nonetheless, I try to do a wrestling post once per year around this time, though i failed to last year. It’s something I still follow, though I can’t keep up with everything as there’s just too much content (as highlighted earlier). This WrestleMania though is pretty interesting. It’s a start for some, and an end for others. There’s some uncertainty on the card, and the roster is just so damn big now that it’s hard to figure out where all of the moving pieces are going after the event. And since this card is so massive, and this post is also kind of a year-in-review for WWE, this entry is going to be equally massive so maybe I should stop with the introductions and just get on with it. Let’s start with the Pre-Show matches:

The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

maxresdefault-23The big battle royal, named after the 8th Wonder of the World, has seen its prestige drop over past few years. It debuted at WrestleMania XXX and was won by Cesaro who went on to experience a push immediately following the event. He was paired with Paul Heyman and seemed destined to be a singles star, but behind the scenes Vince McMahon wasn’t sold (as he openly discussed on an episode of Steve Austin’s podcast) and the push was quickly cooled. Cesaro would then suffer a pretty serious shoulder injury and miss a bunch of time and ever since returning to health he’s been relegated to the tag division once more where he and Sheamus currently hold the Raw Tag Team Championship. Despite all of that, he’s still the most successful winner of this battle royal. The following year, The Big Show won as sort of a lifetime achievement award that did nothing to really further his character. Following him, a debuting Baron Corbin won. He received a push on Smackdown that peaked with him winning the Money in the Bank briefcase. He then suffered the embarrassment of being one of the very few to fail to win the championship with that security blanket and he now finds himself competing in the battle royal once again. Would winning a second time be an achievement or the ultimate rib? Last year, with help from New England Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowski, Mojo Rawley won the battle royal and he too is featured in the match again this year. Unlike Corbin, he has really nothing to show for winning the event other than a heel turn. One year later, it seems clear he was allowed to win more for his real life friendship with Gronkowski than anything else. This year, who wins seems less important than ever. Is this match a true stepping stone for a young wrestler, a gift for an old reliable superstar, or just the pre-show filler it truly is? I have no idea, and thus my prediction feels kind of pointless so I’ll say a new version of Bray Wyatt debuts and wins, because why not?

Prediction:  Bray Wyatt

WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal

womensbattleroyalThe women’s roster, thanks in part to a rise in the quality of women’s wresting on WWE programming and the brand split, is now large enough that it can support its own battle royal. Decades ago, the women were more likely to be tossed into some stupid pillow fight or just used as eye candy for an unrelated match or event, so even though I kind of dumped on the men’s battle royal, this one does feel like progress. Next year we can get cynical about it. Though WWE almost dropped the ball with this by originally naming it after The Fabulous Moolah who has been accused of stealing from other wrestlers and for essentially being a pimp. In other words, whether true or not you probably shouldn’t name a match after her on your brightest stage. Rather than finding someone else to name it after, they just went with a conventional name. This match actually has some storylines heading into it as both Absolution and The Riot Squad  have been booked as invading wrestlers on Raw and Smackdown respectively, so a number of the other women probably want to get their hands on them. There’s also the rivalry between one-time bestie Sasha Banks and Bailey. The feud between those two is deserving of its own match, so it’s rather disappointing to see it relegated to this event. Unfortunately, the card is so stacked that there wasn’t really any room for a traditional grudge match. Personally, I would rather see that match instead of either of the non-title tag team matches, but I get why those are on the card and this is not. Because of their rivalry though, I don’t expect either Banks or Bailey to win this match. It’s possible this match goes to a debuting NXT star, but I’m not sure if any of the ladies at NXT are in-line for a promotion at this point in time. Instead, it may be used to elevate one of the members of the aforementioned stables, or as a lifetime achievement award to a vet like Natalya. WrestleMania typically doesn’t feature many heel victories, and this card appears to be no exception, so perhaps this is an easy spot to toss in a heel win.

Prediction:  Mandy Rose

WWE Cruiserweight Championship (vacant)

Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali

mqdefaultTwo wrestlers making their WretleMania debut, Alexander and Ali will be competing for the vacant Cruiserweight title. The Cruiserweight Division experienced a rather tumultuous 2017 marked with outside of the ring scandal and beset with poor story-telling and little direction. The brand has been sort-of rebooted over the past six weeks and I hear its show, 205 Live, is much improved, but I personally haven’t watched it. As a result, I’ve got little to say about this match. I doubt these two talented wrestlers will be given enough time to really shine under the bright lights, but there’s a small chance they put on a show-stealer. Alexander seems like the rising star of the division so a win for him is likely, though it could really go either way.

Prediction:  Cedric Alexander

WWE Smackdown Tag-Team Championship Triple Threat

The Usos (C) vs The New Day vs The Bludgeon Brothers

bludgeon-brothers-vs-usos-vs-new-day-wrestlemania-34I’ll give credit where credit is due, Smackdown has done a good job of making this match something to look forward to. The rivalry between the champs, The Usos, and The New Day has been very enjoyable and evenly matched. Toss-in the undefeated Bludgeon Brothers and you get a nice twist. Though a match between The Usos and New Day may have been a better direction, at least The Bludgeons, in spite of their stupid gimmick, are competent wrestlers and should work well. Truthfully, I do not know what the order of the card is so I’m predicting this will be the curtain-jerker for the main show because The New Day seem like the perfect cats to get things started. Last year they didn’t get to compete and were relegated to host duties, so this is a welcomed to return to actual competition. Meanwhile, the other four participants weren’t featured on the main card and instead were relegated to the battle royal, except for Rowan who was injured. In other words, they all have something to prove. A lot of the titles look like they’ll be switching hands during this event, so I’ll predict that the Smackdown Tag Titles will be one of the few that does not.

Prediction:  The Usos

Raw Women’s Championship

Alexa Bliss (C) vs Nia Jax

maxresdefault-24This storyline had one of the shortest build-ups thanks to the uncertainty over who Royal Rumble winner Asuka would challenge at WrestleMania. That was unveiled at Fastlane when she challenged Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte Flair leaving Alexa without an opponent for WrestleMania. Truth be told, I always assumed Asuka would be paired with Charlotte leaving Bliss to square-off against either multiple women or Nia Jax. Jax has played the role of protector for Bliss for most of 2017 into 2018. With Bliss being a natural heel, it made sense for her to not appreciate what Jax does for her leading to a fractured alliance. Bliss is also conventionally attractive and that’s worked into her persona as she’s presented as conceited, shallow, and just one of those “mean girls.” Jax, on the other hand, is a pretty large woman making her weight an easy thing for Bliss to poke fun at and that’s been the basis for this feud. Both women are returning to WrestleMania looking to make-up for losses at last year’s event. Bliss dropped the Smackdown Women’s Championship to Naomi in a six-woman match, a classic brief match where WWE just tosses a bunch of women into a chaotic match to get them on the show (it lasted barely over 5 minutes), while Jax failed to come away with the Raw Women’s Championship in a four-woman match won by Bailey. Jax has also never held a title at either WWE or NXT despite being booked like an unstoppable monster at times. She’s essentially a victim of the big wrestler bias where the “monsters” are often kept away from the titles (like Undertaker, Big Show, Andre, etc.). Lucky for her though, every big wrestler usually gets a couple of title reigns here and there and I think she’s in-line for one here. The storyline of Bliss poking fun at Jax’s weight is inherently mean and it makes little sense for WWE to go there and not have the heel get what’s coming to them. Of course, they’ve done stuff like this in the past and gone the other way (perhaps most infamously with Triple H vs Booker T from WrestleMania XIX), but WWE seems to be more concerned with its image now more than ever. Jax has also come close on numerous occasions to winning the belt and it seems like another tease could really harm her progression. For her to not win, it will likely take interference from Bliss ally Mickie James. Neither woman appears primed for a new opponent after WrestleMania, so they could always trade wins at the next PPV too.

Prediction:   Nia Jax

WWE United States Championship Fatal Four-Way

Randy Orton (C) vs Bobby Roode vs Jinder Mahal vs Rusev

79e67b33cf6b943828442923f43ce53b_1200_675Aside from perhaps the pre-show matches, this match for the US Title is likely the one fans are looking forward to the least. All four participants are decent enough workers in the ring, but at least three aren’t particularly interesting. Orton is overexposed, and 2017 felt like the year where he tumbled from the main event scene, possibly for good, with his series of matches against Mahal being a low point for WWE programming after winning the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 33. And Mahal was equally a low point as WWE Champion as he shockingly won the belt not long after last year’s embarrassing elimination from the battle royal by Gronkowski. Mahal is an effective heel on the mic, but totally uninteresting in the ring. Perhaps for a heel to truly be hated though he should be a crappy wrestler since so many heels end up being crowd pleasers. Roode was promoted from NXT after last year’s WrestleMania and had an okay 2017. He’s terrible with a mic in his hand, and I’m not sure it’s a good thing when your entrance is the best thing anyone can say about your character. He’s also been booked like a babyface, even though his Glorious persona feels more like a heel one. Saving this match from being a total drag is the recently added Rusev. He was scheduled to participate in the battle royal and only recently was added to this match. It was done because his Rusev Day gimmick has gotten way over with fans, even though it probably was meant to just be comedy filler for Smackdown. It’s great to see though because Rusev is a tremendous talent and his fall in the company has been extremely odd. Since he was added in at the last minute, one could theorize that WWE has no real plans for him and they’re just capitalizing on his flavor of the month status. Or, as really the only guy in the match who’s even remotely over, he could be viewed as a lock to win this thing.

Prediction:  It’s Rusev Day

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship

The Bar (C) vs Braun Strowman and TBD

maxresdefault-22Possibly the weirdest match on the card. Cesaro and Sheamus went from after-thought singles wrestlers to tag team champs over the last two years. Meanwhile, Strowman has been one of the hottest guys in the company, but as a monster wrestler, WWE has struggled to find a place for him. His popularity warrants main event status, but he’s been booked as unstoppable and maybe they worry about how to book him as a champion, or as a failed challenger, even. In reality, it’s a total head-scratcher why Strowman isn’t the one getting setup to destroy Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship, but chalk that up to WWE’s insistence on making Roman Reigns “The Guy” in the promotion. Rather than demote Strowman to the IC title picture, they went in an odd direction and had him win a tag team battle royal to become the number one contender for the Raw championship, despite not having a partner. Since WWE has decided to withhold who will be competing alongside Strowman until the event, it would seem likely it will either be a returning superstar from either injury or outside the promotion, a celebrity, or an NXT call-up. I haven’t paid attention to the dirt sheets leading up to the event as I’d prefer to not have anything spoiled, but I’m well aware that Rey Mysterio is out there and would elicit a pop from the audience if he indeed teamed with Strowman. On the injury front, both Dean Ambrose and Big Cass could be ready to return as could Somoa Joe. Of the three, Ambrose is the biggest name, but I’d personally be really interested in a Somoa Joe/Strowman team should Strowman remain in the tag division for now. As for NXT, I have no idea, but Johnny Gargano would get a nice reaction if it were him so that’s who I’d like to see most. He being the consummate underdog could even eat the pin, allowing for him to move onto 205 Live and Strowman to resume his singles career. Lost in all of this is The Bar, who actually make a great team. While I would prefer to see a guy like Cesaro flourishing in the singles division, I’ve at least enjoyed their run, so I won’t mind seeing it continue. They will need some fresh meat following WrestleMania, so maybe a feud with The Hardys is to come.

Prediction:  The Bar

WWE Championship

AJ Styles (C) vs Shinsuke Nakamura

styles-vs-nakamuraStyles had a nice conclusion to 2017. Last year, he was the placeholder heel champ expected to carry the WWE title during the lean months, only to drop it before WrestleMania. As a result, he found himself in the curtain-jerker position last year facing off against Shane McMahon in a match that ended up being way better than it had any right to be. Perhaps as a reward for enduring such ignominy, he’s now the champ heading into WrestleMania where he gets to resume his New Japan feud with Shinsuke Nakamura, who is participating in his first WrestleMania. Because these guys have such great in-ring chemistry with each other and because they’re both world class workers this match is expected to be a show-stealer. I can’t think of another recent non-main event match that had such expectations, maybe the TLC rematch though that’s hardly recent. Smackdown did not have a good second half in 2017, but Stlyes and Nakamura remain over with fans and this is one of the few face vs face matches at this year’s event. It feels like if WWE is ever going to commit to giving Nakamura a run with the belt then it has to do so here. He had some big wins in 2017, but failed to dethrone Mahal when he got a title shot. Styles has sometimes been an after-thought as champ, with most of his feuds serving as vehicles for feuds between other wrestlers (namely, Zayn and Owens vs McMahon) so it’s hard to see where he’s going as a character. In other words, regardless of what happens at WrestleMania, these two seem destined to continue their rivalry.

Prediction:  Shinsuke Nakamura

WWE Intercontinental Triple Threat

The Miz (C) vs Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor

The-Miz-vs.-Seth-Rollins-vs.-Finn-Balor-WrestleMania-34-Intercontinental-Championship-MatchIt’s been a bit of an odd year for the participants of this match. Last year, The Miz found himself in a program with part-timer John Cena leading to a mixed tag match that was just a vehicle for Cena to propose to his real-life girlfriend and former WWE Superstar Nikki Bella. When he wasn’t away filming bad WWE films though, The Miz usually was wearing the Intercontinental Championship and doing well for himself as one of the company’s best heels. Rollins, on the other hand, has somewhat floated around for the past year. At WrestleMania 33, he had a big blow-off match with former mentor Triple H in which he had to return from a serious knee injury in short order to even compete. Since then he’s kind of flirted with the main event while remaining the workhorse for Raw. A Shield reunion and tag title run with Dean Ambrose was derailed by an injury to Ambrose. He was then paired with Jason Jordan and the two appeared to be on a collision course until he too suffered a real-life injury. As a result, Rollins has been tossed into the mix here along with fellow participant Finn Balor. Balor, of course, famously won the newly minted WWE Universal Championship (against Rollins, no less), but had to relinquish it the next night on Raw due to injury. He was ready to return at this time last year, but WWE chose to hold him out of WrestleMania saving him for Raw the next night. He had a way too long feud with Bray Wyatt, that he ultimately emerged victorious from, but has since been adrift much like Rollins. Balor has always felt like a main eventer in waiting, and his Universal Title win seems to add credence to that. He still needs some work refining his character a bit, but I could see the IC title being a reset for him. Rollins doesn’t need it, and if former stable-mate Roman Reigns is indeed victorious in his match with Lesnar, it’s possible WWE sees money in a Rollins/Reigns program atop the card. Meanwhile there’s The Miz, who apparently is approaching some sort of title reign record for the IC belt. He’s sort of become attached to the belt and will likely be remembered for his many reigns with it when all is said and done as more and more people forget that he once appeared in, and won, a WrestleMania main event. His retaining here would not be all that surprising perhaps leading to a one on one program with Balor.

Prediction:  The Miz

Tag-Team Match

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn

Daniel-Bryan-Shane-McMahon-Sami-Zayn-Kevin-Owens-WrestleMania-34-645x370At this time last year, Daniel Bryan was simply an on-air character. Forced into retirement by a series of concussions, it was up in the air whether he would ever wrestle again. Most thought he’d finish his contract with WWE in his current role and then head to either Ring of Honor or New Japan to resume his in-ring career since it was WWE’s doctors that wouldn’t clear him. Instead, he surprisingly was medically cleared just a couple of weeks ago and immediately has been thrust into this match-up. Throughout much of the year, he was seen as an ally to Owens and Zayn and butted heads with his boss, Shane McMahon. After Owens and Zayn kayfabe sent Shane to the hospital following Fastlane, Bryan felt like he was forced to fire the duo resulting in them attacking him and thus leading to this match. Bryan and Shane are out for revenge, while Zayn and Owens need to win if they want to resume their careers on Smackdown. Notice the terminology there? It leaves open the possibility that Owens and Zayn could lose, but be hired by Raw. What shouldn’t be forgotten, is that Bryan and Shane were pretty adversarial throughout the year so their alliance is shaky at best. McMahon has more reason to hate his opponents, but that’s never prevented WWE from executing a swerve before. Now, I love all of the participants in this match (well, not so much Shane) because they’re great characters and even better wrestlers, so I’m actually disappointed to see them here. Owens and Zayn deserve better, but at least they aren’t in the battle royal. At this point last year, Owens was the recently defeated Universal Champion forced to do battle with his former ally Chris Jericho in a match for the US Title. That match was some-what famously not enjoyed by Vince McMahon which apparently put Owens in the doghouse. Zayn was forced into the battle royal, so his match here is definitely an improvement over last year. Ultimately though, this feels like a waste of Bryan’s in-ring return. In a rush to get him onto the WrestleMania card, I feel like WWE missed an opportunity to have his return be the main event at a different event. Here he’s kind of lost in the shuffle of a massive card in a feud that wouldn’t have made sense a month ago. A return match pitting him against Shane would have made way more sense, or better yet, one with The Miz. Alas, here we are though. I think these guys are capable of telling a good story and delivering a good match, but I don’t know if they’ll have the time for either. It seems weird predicting Bryan losing his return bout, but Shane could eat the pin or even turn on him, putting him right back into that underdog role he flourished in before his career came to a premature end.

Prediction:  Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn

Smackdown Women’s Championship

Charlotte Flair (C) vs Asuka

maxresdefault-21Of the matches on the undercard, the two most likely to steal the show are the two big Smackdown title matches, the previously covered Syles vs Nakamura and the women’s match featuring champion Charlotte Flair vs Asuka. Flair went from a heel contender on Raw at least year’s WrestleMania to a babyface champion on Smackdown. Part of the reason for the switch seems to be the real life near death experience of her father, Ric Flair, which garnered her much sympathy as a result. She’s a much better heel than babyface, so I expect this match to be the start of a turn for her as she faces the mega-hot Asuka. Asuka has ridden an undefeated streak to the top of the Women’s Division that got started in NXT. At this time last year she was successfully defending the NXT Women’s Championship, which was kind of a surprise as most thought she would drop the title and then show-up on Raw or Smackdown following WrestleMania 33. Instead, she kept the belt and would eventually get injured forcing her to relinquish her title without defeat. As a result, we don’t know if the plan was for her to head to the main roster undefeated or not, but that’s what happened when she was cleared to return to action. Since joining Raw, she’s mostly been kept out of any major feuds instead simply winning whenever she’s featured in a match, including tag matches and most famously the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble match. At NXT, she never crossed paths with Charlotte so a match between the two has been something fans have been dreaming of for the past couple of years. The fact that it’s finally happening at WrestleMania is pretty awesome, though there is some fear that their lack of experience with each other could lead to a disappointing match. Both women are great in the ring, but neither one has yet developed a reputation for having great matches with anyone they’re paired with, though Charlotte is pretty close to that level at this point. What hasn’t been addressed in storyline is if Asuka is now a Smackdown competitor. Since challenging Charlotte, she has appeared on both shows and if she wins it’s assumed she’ll be Smackdown exclusive going forward. If she loses though, does she return to Raw? I don’t know, but it seems like a waste of her streak for it to end at WrestleMania against Charlotte, who doesn’t need the rub. Her streak has reached a point where it will be a major accomplishment for whomever ends it. While WrestleMania is a big enough stage for such a moment, it just feels like it could be a way to anoint an up and comer (even though Asuka is pretty much an up and comer herself). What I sincerely hope does not happen, is for Asuka’s streak to end at the hands of Carmella after she cashes in her Money in the Bank briefcase.

Prediction:  Asuka

Mixed Tag-Team Match

Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey vs Triple H and Stephanie McMahon

v2-Wrestlemania34The star power of Ronda Rousey will likely mean this is one of the last matches of the evening, even though few probably expect a good match. Rousey, having never wrestled professionally before, is about as green as it gets. That doesn’t mean she can’t make the leap and do so quickly, but it’s an unfair expectation even for the likes of her. Stephanie McMahon has also never been a full-time performer and to call her part-time is even a stretch. Still, she’s married to a future Hall of Famer and her McMahon lineage likely means she doesn’t want to embarrass herself so I expect competence, at least. Triple H is as good as ever, which is to say he’s a steady worker. He was never flashy, even in his prime, but usually effective. Kurt Angle, on the other hand, is one of the best all-time. Even thinking about his career last year when he was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame I wondered if he was my favorite wrestler of all-time. He could do anything in the ring, have a great match with anyone, and he was superb on the mic. Sadly, time and injury have left him a shell of his former self. He can’t be expected to carry a match in 2018, so I have no idea how he and Triple H can be expected to cover-up for the women if they’re not up to the task themselves. Even though it’s a four-participant match designed to protect Rousey, a lot does really rest on her shoulders. I expect this to be be brief, and more spectacle than anything. Angle and Triple H will probably get things started with a few minutes of mat-wrestling, but it could quickly turn into a squash. Stephanie’s character does not require any sort of in-ring credibility, and I don’t think Triple H is averse to putting over the biggest signing WWE has had in perhaps ever. This is the Rousey showcase match – hopefully she comes through and proves that she belongs in WWE.

Prediction:  Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey

Unadvertised Singles Match

John Cena vs The Undertaker

John-Cena-vs.-The-Undertaker-WrestleMania-34-750x430At this time last year, The Undertaker lost in the main event for only his second defeat ever at WrestleMania to Roman Reigns. Following that match, he removed his hat and coat (after briefly putting them back on which was sort of awkward) and laid them down in the ring before walking off into presumed retirement. In the real world, Taker was in need of hip surgery and it showed. His match with Reigns was not good, and it’s actually been awhile since he put on a good match. He looked like a guy who was ready to go, but here we are a year later and John Cena is issuing open challenges to him on WWE programming lobbying for a match at WrestleMania. The two part-timers certainly have the name power to make any match between them an event, even if there’s no real reason for it to happen. Which is probably why Undertaker has failed to answer those challenges. I expect him to finally do so at the event, which is still weird since it means WWE can’t exactly advertise it without giving it away. Now the prevailing theory around the internet seems to be that last year Undertaker retired his dead man gimmick and will return as American Bad Ass Undertaker, or Biker Taker, if you will. The fact that Kid Rock, who lent his song “American Bad Ass” to that gimmick and will be inducted into the Hall of Fame this weekend for his contribution, will be around seems to make that possibility seem likely. I can’t stress enough how much I hated that era of Undertaker so I won’t be popping on my couch when he comes riding out on his chopper, but I expect it at this point so I’m kind of at peace with it. He could come riding out on a chicken and the crowd would go nuts, so I don’t expect any snark. Kid Rock would probably normally be booed if he stepped out onto a WrestleMania stage, but since the crowd will know what his presence means they’ll likely pop for him too. What this match means for the future of The Undertaker is entirely unknown. Is this some encore to last year’s match and a true final match where he gets to go over without harming a young star? Or is it just another year of Undertaker serving as WrestleMania’s final boss with more to come? It’s quite possible it means nothing at all and it’s mostly being done as a favor to Cena, giving him a dream match for his years of loyal service to the company. One thing I do feel certain about is there’s no way Undertaker is returning just to lose to John Cena.

Prediction:  The Biker Taker

WWE Universal Championship

Brock Lesnar (C) vs Roman Reigns

WrestleMania-34-645x370Finally, we’ve arrived at the last match on the card. Though even as i type this I’m frantically looking over the card to make sure I didn’t miss anything because it feels like this damn thing is never ending. It feels kind of crazy, but Lesnar has been Universal Champion for an entire year having won the belt from Goldberg at last year’s event in a brief exchange that never made much sense. Lesnar has had a pretty bland year. WWE has built him up so much that actually defeating him is meaningful (even if Goldberg did it in about 20 seconds), so it’s probably put too much thought into how he should eventually drop the belt. In the real world, Lesnar’s contract with WWE is up following the event. I don’t know if it ends immediately or if there’s an appearance or two left, but all signs point to Brock leaving WWE to pursue a UFC career once again. Lesnar has never been a fan of pro wrestling, so it’s not surprising that he seems to get bored with it. His match quality has steadily gone downhill and a break from the company is probably needed. Hopefully, he takes some pride in in appearing in the main event for WrestleMania and gives a good performance in what could be his final match. Reigns, of course, got to take down The Undertaker last year and temporarily retire the Dead Man. His appearance in this spot has been assumed pretty much ever since despite his failing to become a repeat Royal Rumble winner. Reigns moves a ton of merchandise, which is why he’s booked as a top babyface despite the crowd often being very much against him. For this match, WWE has wisely booked him as the full-time dedicated wrestler railing against a no-show superstar like Brock. They even booked no-shows for Lesnar making fans wonder if his absence was part of the show or if he legitimately didn’t show up for Raw. It’s probably the only way WWE could make Roman the good guy here, but in reality a snarky WrestleMania crowd might just shit all over this one from the start making its placement at the top of the crowd some-what risky. WWE has proven that, if nothing else, it’s all in on Reigns so don’t expect a big surprise. Whether the crowd boos or not, this one is going on last and Reigns is going over. It might not be the best ending for WrestleMania, but after 7 hours, at least it’s an ending.

Prediction:  Roman Reigns

 


Ranking the WrestleMania Main Events (11-4)

We’re now just one week away from WrestleMani XXX, which means I need to get this feature wrapped up!

 

 

Triple H and Jericho felt like natural rivals whenever they matched-up.

Triple H and Jericho felt like natural rivals whenever they matched-up.

11. Triple H vs Chris Jericho (WrestleMania XVIII)

WrestleMania XVIII is remembered for pretty much one match:  Hollywood Hogan vs The Rock.  It was Hogan’s first official match since re-signing with the WWF and the Montreal crowd didn’t seem to care that he was supposed to be the heel heading into it. It was a fun match, but the main event was pretty damn good too. It featured the newly crowned Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho vs Triple H, making his second appearance in a WrestleMania main event. Jericho and Triple H are a natural pairing. Both guys are good, technical wrestlers and Triple H’s more power-oriented offense complements Jericho’s up-tempo maneuvers just fine. The only thing that kind of sucks about this match is that the outcome is never really in doubt as it was pretty much a given that the WWF would put the strap on Triple H after letting Jericho have his fun for a bit. It was nice while it lasted though.

10. John Cena vs The Rock (WrestleMania XXVIII)

The first match-up between John Cena and The Rock is markedly better than the second. The year-long build-up worked well and seeing The Rock back in the ring was a novelty that hadn’t grown stale. Yes, he still wasn’t in great ring shape as the match was plagued some-what by rest holds and the like, but the two guys played off each other well and the finish was well-executed. This was one of the few matches in recent years where I had an interest in the outcome. Would the WWE let its top star get disrespected over and over by a visitor ultimately losing to said visitor in the main event of its most prestigious event? Would The Rock bother making a comeback just to lose to an opponent he seems to genuinely consider inferior to himself? The capper was the event being held in Miami, Rock’s hometown, so I was pretty sure Cena would be asked to take the loss. What I wasn’t expecting was the finish to be a clean loss, with Cena attempting to humiliate The Rock by performing the People’s Elbow only to have Rock bounce-up and nail him with the Rock Bottom for the 1-2-3.

 

Note to aspiring wrestlers:  this is not how to land a shooting-star press.

Note to aspiring wrestlers: this is not how to land a shooting-star press.

9. Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar (WrestleMania XIX)

This match is mostly remembered for Lesnar’s botched shooting-star press towards the end. Lesnar had created a buzz for himself long before he debuted on WWE television by performing the shooting-star press at Ohio Valley. For a man his size to be able to pull off such a crazy maneuver was unheard of. Turns out, big men aren’t meant to fly like that because when he unveiled it at WrestleMania he damn-near killed himself. It overshadows what is a great match of technical excellence. The only low-note for me is the early going where Angle and Lesnar both try to one-up each other with amateur wrestling maneuvers. I never understood why guys would choose to go in such a direction. Pro Wrestling is popular because it’s not the ground-based amateur style. We want flashy! Whenever guys with that kind of background step into a ring though it’s as if they feel they need to acknowledge where they came from. I’m very impressed by the fact that Kurt Angle has won Olympic gold in wrestling, but I don’t want to watch it.

8. Triple H vs The Rock vs Mick Foley vs The Big Show (WrestleMania XXVI)

The only four-way-dance in WrestleMania main event history! The genesis for this match was unconventional. Most had assumed that The Rock and Triple H were destined to headline WrestleMania 2000 as The Rock was the hottest thing going and Triple H was the company’s biggest heel (and Austin was still on the shelf following neck surgery). To keep Hunter’s momentum going, they had him battle Foley for two pay-per-views ultimately defeating him a retirement match at No Way Out. Vince McMahon, in a rare bit of booking with his heart, wanted Foley to realize his dream of main eventing a WrestleMania so he convinced him to come back for this one match just a month after his retirement. Foley was apprehensive, but went ahead with it as it’s just not something any pro wrestler can turn down. And since The Big Show wasn’t doing anything, they added him to the mix as well as part of this four-way feud between the McMahons. It wasn’t a classic match, and the most memorable spot is probably Foley coming up well short on a diving elbow to the announcer’s table, but it ended with Triple H vs The Rock anyways so it’s not like the fans were denied the match they were probably supposed to have. And with Triple H coming out on top it was really the first time in WrestleMania history that the event ended with a bad guy wearing the WWF Championship.

 

Undertaker earned a rare WrestleMania main event submission victory over Edge.

Undertaker earned a rare WrestleMania main event submission victory over Edge.

7. The Undertaker vs Edge (WrestleMania XXIV)

For all of the success that The Undertaker has enjoyed at WrestleMania, he really hasn’t appeared in many main events. At least he can say the ones he’s appeared in were all pretty good. This match with Edge is a pretty good representation of a good Undertaker match. Edge and Taker work really well together with Edge being one of my favorite opponents for The Undertaker for that very reason. At this point, The Streak was a plot line so there was little doubt that The Undertaker would come out on top, but despite that, the finish was still surprising and even a bit sudden with Undertaker locking in his Hell’s Gate submission maneuver for the victory allowing The Phenom to hoist a major championship at the show’s close for just the second time in his career.

6. John Cena vs Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania XXIII)

Shawn Michaels can wrestle a great match with seemingly anyone. Not that John Cena is an Ultimate Warrior or anything, but he’s certainly not one of my favorite workers. This match may not be a WrestleMania classic, but it’s great entertainment. It starts off kind of slow but the two eventually pick-up with the pace with a lot of back and forth momentum swings. HBK is the heel here and it’s the role I’ve always preferred for him. Once again he proves he belongs in the WrestleMania main event and it kind of makes me wish he could be included in all of them. Certainly he should have been in more during his career but at least the ones we have are preserved forever.

5. Triple H vs Shawn Michaels vs Chris Benoit (WrestleMania XX)

Oh boy, how do you rank this one? I suppose the easiest thing to do is to just judge it based on the merits of the match alone, which to probably no longtime wrestling fan’s surprise, is to say it’s fantastic. These are three of the best workers in the history of the business on the grandest stage going all out to entertain the masses. The only negative thing I can say about the match itself is that too often one guy gets taken out for too long of a time. It would be one thing if a guy was taking a piledriver to the concrete and being down for five minutes but it mostly seemed like generic maneuvers were keeping guys down just to keep the match a series of one on one confrontations. Such is the weakness of the triple threat match. Of course, judging the match in such a way ignores the elephant in the room which is that Chris Benoit is a known murderer who committed the unthinkable act of killing his own family. It’s impossible to separate the wrestler from the man when such has taken place, so I do not blame anyone if they have no interest in watching this match today. For me, it does harm the match quite a bit as the big storyline within the match is Benoit trying to win his first major championship in WWE, and at the time, the ending was immensely satisfying and one of the best examples of pure joy being on display in the ring. Sadly, the image of Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit celebrating at the conclusion of the match is beyond bittersweet today.

 

One of the more memorable images from any WrestleMania conclusion.

One of the more memorable images from any WrestleMania conclusion.

4. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs The Rock (WrestleMania XVII)

WrestleMania XVII is justifiably remembered as one of the best WrestleManias of all time. It’s main event was a pretty big deal at the time too with two mega-stars in Austin and The Rock. The only other main event that even compares in terms of how popular both guys were heading into the match is Hogan vs The Giant; these two guys were just hugely over with the fans. Austin was competing for the Championship for the first time since his return from neck surgery and The Rock was not expected to just role over for the big star. With Rock becoming the top baby face in Austin’s absence, the decision to turn Stone Cold heel at the match’s conclusion was reached. Austin was the main driver behind this as he was concerned his character was growing stale. Plus he liked playing the bad guy. He also admits that if he could push the reset button on anything in his career it would be the end of this match. The two battled and had an astoundingly entertaining match with good in-ring spots as well as out of the ring spots. There was violence and comedy, and the end certainly left people talking. I too think the heel turn for Austin was a bad move. Not because he shouldn’t be a bad guy, but just the way it was done to have him suddenly align himself with Vince McMahon in such a way. It just wasn’t believable for his character. If he had used McMahon to win and then nailed Vince with a stunner or something it would have made more sense and let Austin play a tweener kind of role. Instead he became a sniveling coward which effectively killed his character.


Ranking the WrestleMania Main Events (19-12)

The year long feud between Macho Man and Hulk Hogan came to a head at WrestleMania V.

The year long feud between Macho Man and Hulk Hogan came to a head at WrestleMania V.

19. Hulk Hogan vs Macho Man Randy Savage (WrestleMania V)

The clash of the Mega Powers!  The WrestleMania V main event was another early WrestleMania main event that wasn’t much to write home about, but one thing it did have was legs.  The main event for WrestleMania V was unofficially booked at the conclusion of WrestleMania IV when Savage won the WWF Championship to close out the night with the aid of Hogan.  For the next year the two would tag team and feud with Dibiase and The Giant until conflict would surface between the two.  With both guys being pretty popular with fans, the WWF needed to turn one heel and it unsurprisingly went with Savage, who despite being the champion, was not as over with the fans as Hogan.  When the two finally collided, it was a case of excellent booking with a good pay-off, the type of thing that doesn’t really happen in today’s world of short attention span fans.   As I alluded to at the start, the match itself was rather poor.  Savage was a real in-ring talent, but there was nothing he could really do to elevate Hogan and the match ended up being a typical Hulk Hogan match.

18. Triple H vs Batista (WrestleMania XXI)

Batista was a real throw-back superstar.  The only things separating him from guys like Hogan and The Warrior were tattoos and a crew cut.  He had the look of the behemoth and the grace to match.  His matches never did much for me and this encounter with Triple H was a dud.  The two would go on to have better match-ups centered more around gimmicks (maybe someone realized a straight wrestling match just wasn’t playing to their strengths), but never any real classics.  Triple H has also been a pretty good worker and he has the reputation of being a technical wrestler.  Personally, I’ve always felt his reputation was forced.  Great technical wrestlers can elevate their opponents and find a way to have good matches, I don’t think Triple H has ever been that guy and he certainly wasn’t able to pull a good match out of Batista at WrestleMania XXI.

17. The Undertaker vs Sycho Sid (WrestleMania XIII)

This is a match that really has no business being as good as it is.  That’s not to say it’s a classic by any means, but before I sat down to re-watch it recently after all of these years I was expecting the worst.  My preliminary thoughts on this list had this match coming in at around number 27 or so, but here it is at 17.  Sid Justice, at the time going as Sycho Sid, is not much of a wrestler.  He was a big guy and could do some big moves, but when it came to selling a match he was awful and that part of his game is on display in this one.  Despite that, there were some good moments and he and Undertaker were able to tell a pretty decent story.  By contrast, Undertaker has always been a big guy who was a plus worker, a hard combination to find, and both guys aren’t so big that they can’t take each other’s big moves and make them look good.  The match does suffer from too many interruptions (I’m not sure if Sid was balking at losing clean to Undertaker or if the Brett Hart run-ins were just meant to setup a new feud), but otherwise is solid entertainment.

16. Triple H vs John Cena (WrestleMania XXII)

With these last few matches, we’ve entered into the part of the list where the matches aren’t bad matches, but they’re not exactly main event at the biggest show of the year quality matches.  This is another match that kind of surprised me when I watched it recently.  I’m not a John Cena fan.  Like Batista, he’s a throwback to the eighties.  He’s a superman like Hogan was where he’ll take a beating and then suddenly kick-out of a big move and hit his finisher for the win.  He’s an attraction as he was in his match with Big Show years earlier where he got the giant up onto his shoulders.  This match though is a pretty hard hitting affair with some good pacing (after a slow start).  It’s nothing to write home about, but the fact that it’s not one of the worst matches is an accomplishment I wasn’t sure it would have.

The Rock loomed large at WrestleMania XXVII despite not even being on the card.

The Rock loomed large at WrestleMania XXVII despite not even being on the card.

15. John Cena vs The Miz (WrestleMania XXVII)

As a match, this one is probably worse than the previous two.  I’ve already shared my thoughts on Cena, but The Miz is no better.  He’s Cena without the look.  As a heel, which he was at the time of this match, he was pretty good at getting heat.  In the ring though he’s sloppy, lacks polish, and has a pedestrian arsenal.   The build-up to this match though had almost nothing to do with The Miz, who was actually the champion heading into WrestleMania!  No, the storyline centered around John Cena and the host of WrestleMania XXVII:  The Rock.  When The Rock returned to Monday Night Raw he almost immediately began picking a fight with John Cena.  Their feud would carry over into the next year’s WrestleMania, especially after The Rock played a role in the outcome of this match between Cena and The Miz, and it’s the buzz that surrounded this match that helps elevate it.  Otherwise, this was a main event more befitting of Raw than WrestleMania.

I'm pretty sure there's a law somewhere that says I have to post this picture if I'm going to talk about WrestleMania III.

I’m pretty sure there’s a law somewhere that says I have to post this picture if I’m going to talk about WrestleMania III.

14. Hulk Hogan vs André the Giant (WrestleMania III)

In terms of build-up and anticipation, there is no equal when it comes to Hogan vs The Giant.  This is the main event that shattered the all-time attendance record and would stand for a long, long time.  The Giant was a huge attraction and was billed as being undefeated over his career.  Hogan was Hogan, the biggest current attraction in the wrestling world. André had also never wrestled for the championship, mostly because promoters didn’t need him to and allowed for them to have two big matches on a card: an André the Giant match, and a world championship match.  Of course, come 1987 André was a shell of his old self and nearing the end, and Hogan was…well, I think I’ve ripped on him enough at this point.  This match is awful.  The Giant can barely move and Hogan is forced to try to sell his limited offense.  The only part of the match worth watching is “The Slam” at the end.  That was a huge moment and the crowd reaction sells it perfectly.  If this were a list of best moments from a WrestleMania main event, that would be the easy choice for number one.  It’s a big enough moment that it elevates a garbage match up to number 14, which isn’t too bad if you ask me.  It was one Hell of a slam.

13. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania XIV)

Transitioning from the original mega stars of wrestling to perhaps two of the biggest in recent memory, here we have a match that really could have been something special.  It is special, but only because it marked the first time Austin won the WWF Championship and the added Mike Tyson factor at ring-side.  Unfortunately though, this was when Michaels was in tremendous pain following a serious back injury at Royal Rumble.  The injury would force him into retirement for four years before a comeback, but during the match it’s clear that Michaels isn’t right.  Some of it is a sell-job since play-by-play man Jim Ross wasn’t hiding the fact that Michaels was hurt, but a lot of it is legit discomfort.  Because of this, the match is real slow-paced with lots of rest holds and a feeling of restraint throughout.  It’s disjointed, but the finish was strong and the crowd certainly didn’t seem to mind once Austin hit the stunner.  Still, it’s hard to watch this and not wonder what could have been.

12. John Cena vs The Rock (WrestleMania XXIX)

Cena and The Rock ended their three year long feud at the conclusion of WrestleMania XXIX.

Cena and The Rock ended their three year long feud at the conclusion of WrestleMania XXIX.

The most recent main event, and part two of the Cena/Rock feud (unless you count their confrontation at WrestleMania XXVII as part one, then it’s part three) and at this point it was starting to run out of steam.  As much as people loved The Rock, myself included, it was hard to disagree with Cena’s assertions that at least he was a full-time wrestler, unlike The Rock.  The Rock was coming off as disingenuous, but he was still making people laugh.  In the ring though, it was becoming clear that Rock wasn’t the same guy as he was years ago, which is understandable.  This version of The Rock was really bulky, and since he wasn’t a full-time wrestler, he really didn’t have the stamina to carry a one-on-one match.  The two made it work the prior year, but come WrestleMania XXIX it was clear they were out of ideas as both guys resort to hitting their signature moves over and over.  Having a wrestler kick out of another guy’s big move can be a really effective way to sell the enormity of a match, but three times?  Four times?  It just loses impact.  In defense of The Rock, he did get injured during the match which may have affected his performance.  The enormity of the feud and star power of the characters is what elevates this match to this spot, not the in-ring performance.


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