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Dec. 12 – King of the Hill – “Pretty, Pretty Dresses”

Original air date December 15, 1998.

The 2024 edition of The Christmas Spot has been a year in which we return to a show we haven’t talked about in a little while. Today’s subject is certainly one such show as we’re heading back to Arlen, TX for a Christmas episode of King of the Hill. Up to now, the only episode of the long-running Fox sitcom included on this countdown was covered back in 2020. This episode has been on my list ever since, if not longer, and is one of my favorite episodes from King of the Hill. It does take place at Christmas, though it’s perhaps not as full of the holiday as some other King of the Hill holiday episodes. What it lacks in Christmas cheer it certainly makes up for with a heaping helping of one Bill Dauterive (Stephen Root).

Bill is one of my favorite characters from the show even if he is one of the saddest. He’s a very depressed man and it all stems back to his divorce which took place before the events of the show. It took several episodes to figure out just how pathetic Bill is, but this episode is going to capture it well. When I think of Bill and the word “pathetic,” I think of him eating spaghetti off of his counter and taking a swig of sauce right from the jar to wash it down. Remember the show Step by Step and the Cody character who would pour milk in his mouth, squirt the chocolate syrup in after, then shake his head all about before swallowing? That was ridiculous and just stupid funny (to an eight year old, anyway), something TGIF featured a lot of. Bill’s spaghetti meal is similar in construction, but almost believably pathetic. I’m pretty sure I imitated the Cody milk trick as a kid, but it would never occur to me to do the same with Bill’s spaghetti.

Nothing sums up how pathetic a man Bill is than this right here.

“Pretty, Pretty Dresses” puts Bill’s mental health at the forefront. I suppose this one comes with a bit of a trigger warning as Bill is suicidal and it is played for laughs. It’s similar to how Moe would be portrayed on The Simpsons, only with Moe there was really no one caring about him to talk him down. Bill does have people who care about him. They don’t really take his suicidal actions with 100% seriousness as some of the actions by Bill are pretty, well, pathetic. That’s the word of the day, apparently. He probably lacks the conviction needed to go through it and it’s the classic “cry for help” we sometimes hear about. I’m also no psychologist and while I’ve had my share of bad days I’ve never gone to a place even remotely close to what one would call suicidal. In other words, this isn’t the sort of stuff that is likely to bother me, but it might bother you. It’s also just dawning on me that I have quite a few animated sitcoms in the countdown this year and just about all of them have a suicide joke. That’s admittedly a bit weird, but maybe not that surprising considering the darker side of Christmas. The most famous Christmas movie of all time even dabbles in suicide so maybe we should be blaming Frank Capra?

Bill is sad, and no one in his life is well-equipped to respond to that fact.

The episode begins with the usual suspects standing in the alley drinking a beer. Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer look as they do so often in the show, and then Bill just starts sobbing. As he cries, a very jolly, instrumental, rendition of “Sleigh Ride” comes in as Bill continues to sob and his friends continue to ignore him by just staring blankly straight-ahead. This smashes to the intro and when that ends we go right back to the alley. Bill gets ahold of himself and very plainly remarks, “I love Christmas.” Then he continues with the sobbing and we find out that it was at Christmas time his wife, Lenore, left him. He tries to convince himself it was the best thing that ever happened to him, but he just goes back to sobbing. Bill heads home leaving the others behind. Hank (Mike Judge), being the better friend of the three, remarks out loud that he’d like a cookie and can always count on Bill to have cookies in his house. This is his cover to go check on Bill because these men could never admit to one another that they care about each other.

One gets the impression that if Lenore was dead instead of just gone this would get even uglier.

Hank enters the house to a sad scene. There’s a very dead tree in the corner with Lenore’s stocking on it and a bunch of wrapped gifts with her name on them beneath it. Some must be old from when she left, but there also appears to be new ones as Bill was apparently in the middle of wrapping his toaster. Bill enters the room and is surprised to see Hank and starts hiding gifts and shoving the very dead tree in a closet. Hank awkwardly asks if these are all gifts for Lenore and Bill proudly admits that they are and he suspects that she’ll appreciate his saving them when she comes back. Hank then tries to level with his old friend, but he can barely get a word out before Bill starts to whimper. Hank can’t bring himself to do it and just remarks that stranger things have happened. Bill cheers up and thanks him before confirming with Hank that he’ll be attending dinner at their house through the holidays. This is apparently a thing the Hills do each year so that Bill isn’t alone.

Maybe having Bill over dinner every night won’t be so bad?

We are then treated to one of those dinners. Peggy (Kathy Najimy) is excited about a Christmas party they’re hosting and Bill decides to awkwardly steer that subject into a conversation about break-ups. He reminds Luanne (Brittany Murphy) about her dead boyfriend and how it can be hard to find someone else as he reckons there was only one person meant for her. This disarms Luanne and Peggy immediately tries to steer the conversation back to the party and asks Luanne to help out hosting it, but she’s still reeling from Bill. Bobby (Pamela Adlon) is happy to volunteer to host the party, so Bill brings up the girl who dumped him a few episodes prior and he too looks defeated. He then brings up a high school boyfriend of Peggy’s, Cecil, but she insists she didn’t even like him. Bill just reminds her matter-of-factly that she did, but he didn’t like her.

Oh Hank, this should be the least of your concerns when it comes to Bobby.

The next morning, Bobby is serving breakfast which Hank seems to be uncomfortable with (“Shouldn’t you be doing this, Peggy?”), but like a lot of things with his son, Hank is just going to have to roll with it. Peggy is just happy to have an appetite following last night’s dinner and makes a comment that suggests Bill is like that at every dinner. Bobby remarks that he could live without him, which Hank objects to. He takes the time to remind the two that he set Arlen High School’s single season rushing record in football and Bill was his lead blocker. A running back who forgets his frontline is the person Hank could live without, not Bill, and leaves the table without touching his bacon and eggs saying “Shame on you two.”

The addition of a pet has only made things worse. Of course, it’s not helping that the pet is an iguana.

We cut to another dinner scene and Bill is playfully feeding someone off camera that the Hills seem to find…disturbing. When the camera centers on Bill we see that he’s brought an iguana to dinner which he has named Lenore, naturally. Hank carefully asks Bill if the store was all out of puppies, but Bill insists that iguanas are the new trendy pet. He’s trying to get the thing to eat what looks like a carrot and insists that he’s just shy (and it does sound like this is a male iguana that he’s named Lenore) and is probably nervous with all of the new faces. He looks to his right and stares at Luanne as he says this and she picks up on his social cue to ask if she should leave to which Bill responds simply, “Thank you.” He then opens up what looks like a pill bottle and dumps a cricket onto the table. The rest of the family is shocked, but Bill says “Don’t worry, it’s dead.” It then wriggles a bit and everyone gasps as Lenore jumps on the table and scarfs it down.

Dear God, someone might see Hank in his boxer shorts!

That night as Hank and Peggy get ready for bed, Peggy lets Hank know that this thing with Bill has gone far enough. She doesn’t want him at another meal of theirs, but Hank insists that he thinks Bill seemed happier so maybe things are getting better? Peggy just refers to the iguana (which she mispronounces) as a cry for help, but before their argument can go any further they’re interrupted by the door opening. Hank immediately cries out to Luanne to knock first, but it’s Bill. He apparently had a nightmare where Lenore returned and kidnapped Lenore and drove off with him while he chased after the car until his teeth fell out. He informs Peggy that she was there too then requests to sleep on their couch. I was ready for him to ask about sleeping at the foot of their bed. Hank just says “Yes, Bill,” and once the door is closed Peggy delivers an ultimatum, “I’m giving you twenty-four hours to get me out of that man’s dreams!”

Very normal behavior.

The next day, Hank and Bill are pounding beers in the alley with Lenore. Bill chucks an empty into his cooler, pats his belly, then turns to Hank and says “Shall we?” Hank awkwardly delivers the news that he’s not welcome at dinner tonight. Bill takes the news rather well, even adds that he prefers to eat alone, though he’s not exactly convincing anyone of that. The Hills have a nice dinner without Bill, while Bill eats his pathetic spaghetti meal off the counter I talked about earlier. He really chugs that meat sauce. We cut back to the Hills and Hank is apparently pitching a movie to his family about propane that would involve Clint Eastwood. He does a bad Eastwood impression then turns to the family for approval. Bobby, his ever reliably enthusiastic son, tells him it’s a great idea. They all laugh and we see Bill is watching sadly from the street.

Does this count as an attempt?

Bill takes a ladder out of Hank’s open garage, and as he walks off, it gets caught on some string lights and he inadvertently pulls them down. Or he always intended to leave a mark since this gets Hank’s attention from inside. He’s irritated to find his ten foot ladder missing and immediately accuses Dale, then Bill, then Dale again. He then takes his longer ladder (I guess a 12 footer) and heads up to the roof to fix the lights. From there, he sees Bill across the way on his own roof. He asks him what he’s doing and Bill just casually tells him he’s up there to kill himself. He then goes to jump, but instead awkwardly rolls off the side of the house grasping the gutter. He dangles a moment, then the gutter breaks and he falls to the ground below. It’s important to note that Bill’s house is a ranch. Even if he jumped, he’d be at almost zero risk of killing himself. Hank still cries out in horror when Bill falls though as he’s a good friend.

Nancy looks concerned, but it’s probably for show. Hank seems to be the only one who gives a damn about Bill.

The neighborhood is now gathered in front of Bill’s house to discuss what to do with him. In the background, we can see Bill on his own stoop with his arm in a sling so he apparently got hurt a little bit in his fall. Peggy acts like she’s going to say something mildly profound when she says “You know who I feel sorry for the most in all of this? Bill.” Yeah, no kidding, Peggy. She suggests he see a psychiatrist, but Hank snaps “He’s suicidal, Peggy, not crazy.” Hank seems to think they just need to keep a constant surveillance of Bill until he snaps out of it while Dale (Johnny Hardwick) thinks he’s too far gone and they should sit back and watch the bloodbath. Hank is not about to let that happen and lays out the Bill Suicide Watch schedule for all to hear and adhere to. And since it’s nighttime, Hank is up first.

It’s electric, Bill.

Hank leads Bill back into the house and suggests that Bill get to bed. Bill remarks that all he does is sleep and suggests that maybe he’s preparing himself for The Big Sleep. Hank shudders and goes into the kitchen for a beer. Bill declines one on account of beer being a depressant which causes Hank to angrily snap at him, “Don’t go blaming the beer!” As he goes into the fridge to get himself one, Bill comes in and sticks his head in the oven. Hank ignores him as he heads back into the living room then calls over his shoulder to remind Bill it’s an electric stove. When he says that it’s still pretty hot, Hank relents and yanks his head out of the oven and deposits him on his bed face first. Hank is trying to get him some pajamas and is surprised to find silk ones in Bill’s drawer. Bill refuses to go along with this so Hank is basically forced to dress him, then brush his teeth for him, and then he has to sit beside the bed while Bill sleeps. Only Bill isn’t sleeping! He’s just waiting for the right moment to resume his suicide attempts and when Hank nods off he does just that…by trying to slam his own head in the drawer of his nightstand. Hank wakes up with a “Damnit, Bill,” and is forced to take the drawers away while Bill tumbles out of bed.

Bill has lost all ability to function within society.

It’s the next day and we see Bill is on his couch. He goes to get up, but he’s soon ordered back down. It’s Dale’s watch, and he isn’t taking any chances as he sits in front of Bill with a shotgun. Bill just asks to go “tinkle,” but Dale informs him “Not on my watch.” The humor here is Dale is threatening a suicidal person with death so I suppose if the audience wasn’t convinced that Bill’s suicide attempts were lacking conviction they should be now. We then cut to Bill at a bar called Uglys because it’s now apparently Boomhauer’s (Judge) turn. He’s slow dancing with a woman while Bill looks on from the bar looking sad. He remarks to the bartender that he and Lenore used to come here and watch other couples dance indicating that they were never very much in love. He gets up real close on one couple who is making out at the bar, whimpers, then runs out crying. He runs straight into the road intending to have a tractor trailer truck be his end. It’s just careful editing though and when the camera zooms out we see the truck make a harmless left turn as it was more than a full block away from Bill. Boomhauer then appears to just angrily grab Bill by the arm and drag him back inside.

Dale isn’t about to wait and see what Bill left him in his will.

We next see Bill seated on his couch with his head down from a distance. The camera is in the kitchen and it pans to reveal that Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer are having a little conference about their friend. Dale insists he can’t keep doing this because it’s not in his nature to care about others while Boomhauer remarks it’s all “Work. Bill. Work. Bill,” and suggests that it’s making him want to put a bullet in his own head. Hank doesn’t really put forth any argument to try to keep them onboard with Operation Keep Bill Alive and instead says that he’ll take over all shifts, if he can clear it with his boss. He then calls out Dale for wearing Bill’s silk pajama top under his shirt, but Dale sees no harm in doing so since Bill’s as good as dead anyway.

If it’s any consolation, Hank, it’s the end of the year and Bud Strickland doesn’t seem like the sort of boss who lets his workers rollover vacation time year-to-year.

Now, we head to Strickland Propane, Hank’s place of employment, to see how his time off request goes. We find him in the office of his boss, Bud Strickland (Root), as he starts into his request. Bud thinks Hank is requesting time off to get ready for the party he’s hosting, and since he invited their whole client list, he seems to think it’s a good idea. Poor Hank can’t lie to his boss though, and clarifies it’s for a friend and even categorizes it as a matter of life and death. Strickland doesn’t care, and just tells Hank to have the secretary zero-out his vacation days which elicits another, “Damnit, Bill,” from Hank. We then cut to Hank and Peggy at their kitchen table where Hank is bemoaning his current state. He tells her that Bill tried to drown himself in the toilet earlier and then asks her if she can find him a date? Peggy starts into trying to make an excuse for why she can’t since she’d have to invite a woman over and not tell her anything about Bill and Hank just thinks this is Peggy outlining a plan. He thanks her and walks away in what is basically a repeat of the dinner scene between Bill and Luanne. It’s still funny though so I’ll allow it.

Pay no mind to the iguana piss on his uniform, ma’am.

And who did Peggy find to join them for dinner that night? Why that would be Mrs. Tobbis (Janet Waldo), perhaps the stuffiest looking woman character one could draw. She is visibly angry to be at dinner under false pretenses. To Bill’s credit, he put on his old military uniform and looks nicer than usual, but he still brought Lenore who is nestled on his shoulder. He informs Mrs. Tobbis that he isn’t allowed to have a knife at the table because he’s in the middle of killing himself. Tobbis doesn’t even comment on that and instead accuses Peggy of setting her up with this man against her will. Peggy tries to reason with her by saying Bill is a collector of exotic reptilia and she collects throw pillows – they’re practically the same! Tobbis admits to having a few pillows, but justifiably doesn’t see what that has to do with her being there. Bill then asks her if she likes iguanas and she informs him, in no uncertain terms, that she does not calling the thing filthy. Bill takes the criticism lightly and suggests they all could use a bath which is Lenore’s cue to pee all over his shoulder. Bill just dabs at it with a napkin and says “When it’s your own.”

The only thing Bill had left just ran out the window on him.

Mrs. Tobbis informs Bill that he is a gross man so Bill does the expected and proposes to her! Tobbis is rightfully aghast at the suggestion while Luanne shrieks with glee like she’s witnessing something truly romantic going on. Bill starts clinging to her and she demands someone get her coat – for the love of God! Ladybird then enters, the Hill family’s dog, and once Lenore and her lock eyes the iguana goes into flight mode. It scampers down the table and out an open window prompting Bill to cry, “Lenore! Don’t leave me!” As he goes out the window to chase down his pet, Peggy decides now is the right time to tell Mrs. Tobbis that she’s already given Bill her phone number. That poor, poor, woman.

This is the point where Hank runs out of patience with his old friend. Honestly, it took him longer than I would have expected.

Hank goes outside and observes Bill searching through his bushes and even his mailbox for the iguana. He then goes inside, I guess because he thinks the reptile might have went home, and once inside we see Dale emerge from behind the house carrying Bill’s television. Hank yells at him, but Dale insists that Bill would have wanted him to have it. When Hank points that Bill is still alive, Dale just returns with a “Nitpicking ain’t gonna bring him back.” We head inside the house to find Bill searching under couch cushions as Hank enters. Bill grabs onto his legs begging his friend to help him search for Lenore, but Hank has had enough. He gives Bill the dose of reality he declined to give him earlier in the episode. He tells him that it’s his fixation with Lenore that is his problem and she isn’t coming back. To emphasize this he also throws the presents at the wall and stomps on them. Thankfully, he didn’t find the toaster and they were all clothes so it’s not much of a mess. Bill cries out at first, but then just looks shell-shocked. Hank sees this change as an improvement and even thinks Bill is fine. His demeanor shifts and he’s quite happy as he tells Bill he was worried for a bit since he was acting so crazy. Bill can only say “Yes,” in a monotone fashion when asked if he’s all right as Hank leaves. Once out, Bill slumps against the wall and slides to the floor defeated.

Something isn’t right here…

The next morning, Hank is getting what looks like a leftover pork chop out of the fridge while proudly telling Peggy how tough he had to be with Bill. Peggy actually seems worried about Bill, but Hank is not since he asked him twice if he was okay. He then sees Lenore just hanging out on top of the fridge and, rather calmly, just notes it. He brings Lenore over to Bill’s house and lets himself in. As he walks into the kitchen he puts Lenore down for he spies a woman hanging clothes in Bill’s backyard. He angrily goes out the slider and demands to know what she’s doing in Bill’s backyard, but a very, bad, female voice returns “Why Hank? Don’t you recognize me? I’m Lenore!” She turns around and we see that it’s Bill in a long dress and woman’s hat. She (he?) adds that she’s just washing her dress for Hank’s big party which causes Hank to gasp, yet again.

If Hank was at the end of his rope with Bill the night before he is now well past it.

After an act break, we find Hank demanding Bill knock it off. Bill insists that he’s Lenore, though he has trouble keeping his voice high enough to produce his “Lenore” voice. “Lenore” insists that she’s returned because she loves Bill “sooo much!” Hank can’t wrap his head around this one and brings it back around to football. He points out how Bill blocked for him when he set the single season rushing record, but that he also had to help himself by hitting find the running lanes. He says he’s blocking for Bill now, but Bill isn’t even playing the same game. Feeling he needs a sport to complete the metaphor, he just suggests Bill is playing some sort of crazy tennis. As he storms off, “Lenore” just thanks him for coming by and says “See you at the party!” Hank spins around to tell Bill that no, he is not allowed at his party, before walking off. Lenore-Bill isn’t dismayed though and just smiles to herself and notes she was already invited. Technically, Bill was already invited, but not Lenore, though Bill isn’t really in a state where he can be reasoned with right now.

It’s a nice dress, and Bill did coordinate the shoes rather well.

Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer are drinking in their favorite alley, once again, when “Lenore” comes strolling in. She’s ditched the hat, but has a very nice yellow dress instead. Lenore asks if any of these gentlemen can spare a beer for a lady and you just know that Dale cannot go along with this. When Bill insists he’s Lenore, Dale challenges him to produce Bill. “Lenore” says that Bill is in the house and offers to go get him to which Dale responds, “I’m skeptical that you could, but yet intrigued that you may.” Lenore leaves to get Bill and Dale just turns to Hank to remark that Bill has been acting weird as if he thinks no one else has noticed. Hank doesn’t even dignify this observation with a response. Lenore then returns with a sweater and a beer and says that Bill was busy wrapping presents. Then she takes a sip of her beer and does the usual “Yep,” but in the high, Lenore voice. Hank can’t do this and walks off.

Now Hank, don’t go taking out your frustrations on the potatoes.

Hank is shown massacring a potato that he’s supposed to be peeling. Peggy remarks that he’s peeling in anger and Hank confirms as much. He’s pretty sore about blowing his vacation days on Bill and in the process reveals that he had to actually help bathe the guy. Peggy is sympathetic to Bill’s plight remarking that the only way he could get over Lenore was to become her, then adds it must be a psychological thing – a classic Peggy-ism. Luanne admits she isn’t qualified for such a determination, but suggests that what Bill needs is closure adding that’s what her dead boyfriend’s angel told her. No one seems willing to touch that, but Peggy loves the suggestion and decides to invite the real Lenore to the party! Hank seems skeptical while Luanne is just worried that the two might show up in the same dress which would just be a disaster.

This is sure to go over well.

It’s now the evening of the Christmas party we’ve been hearing so much about. The Hill house is hopping and Hank is ladling out punch to his boss. Bud informs Hank that all of their clients have showed up tonight describing them as big fish and little fish and tells Hank it’s his job to pull him out of any conversations with the little fish. Hank tells his boss they should treat all of their clients like big fish and Bud just tells him that’s a good thing to say to the little fish before walking off. Then Bill, as Lenore, enters and everything seems to stop. Bill is wearing a purple, shoulder-less, dress and hat and upon entering Bud demands to know “what that is.” Hank just says he ordered a Santa and that there must be some mistake as he goes over to order Bill to leave. Bill just does what he’s been doing lately and insists he’s Lenore, will not be leaving, and is here to mingle. She then goes over to a table and pours herself a glass of wine while her inner Bill causes her to pick up a beer as well.

If you were hoping to catch a glimpse of the real Lenore sadly this is as close as the episode gets.

Peggy answers the phone in the kitchen and it’s the real Lenore on the other end. She shouts to Bill that Lenore is on the phone and he looks shocked. We don’t hear anything Lenore says, just Peggy’s reaction to whatever it is she is telling her, and it becomes clear that Lenore isn’t coming. Desperate, Peggy asks Lenore if she could just speak to Bill and send her love, but that’s clearly a nonstarter. Lenore hangs up, and Bill hangs his head in sorrow. With tears streaming down his face and his hands trembling, Bill tries to top off his wine glass while the other party goers look on with actual venom in their eyes. Bill turns to face them with his tear-stained face and is told to go back to Hollywood and that this isn’t the Democratic National Convention.

Why Hank Hill, aren’t you just full of surprises?

Hank has left the room at this point seeming to abandon his old friend. When it looks like things are about to get real ugly, Hank reemerges. He’s wearing what I assume is one of Peggy’s dresses and tells everyone enthusiastically, “Yeah, it’s one of those kind of parties!” Dale is both hurt and confused because this wasn’t on his invitation and he asks Hank if he gave Bill a special invitation? Bill just screeches in as high a voice as he can probably go for everyone to stop it before storming out. Hank gives chase while Peggy tries to smooth things over by asking who is up for Boggle, but no one seems interested.

This is Bill having a breakthrough. You’re just going to have to trust me on that.

Hank catches up with Bill out in the alley and tries to play by his rules. He tells Bill that he’s Lenore and he doesn’t love him. Bill still tries to insist that it is he who is Lenore, but Hank just keeps laying into him. He tells him that he’s lazy and no good. Then he adds how they fight all day and all night and that even the neighbors can hear giving us some more insight into how terrible a marriage they had. Bill has not dropped his Lenore persona and is trying to reason with Hank, bargaining, really. Obviously it’s not working, so Bill instead gets angry. He’s pretty upset that he never even got a “Dear John” letter and turns things around by yelling at “Lenore” and insisting he’s worth more than that. He tells her to leave and Hank responds by removing the dress signifying that Lenore is gone.

Merry Christmas, Bill.

Bill says nothing, just removes the dress and shoes he’s been wearing. He must have been practicing to be able to walk so well in those heals. Standing in his shorts, Bill remarks to Hank that he hit rock-bottom there. Hank just confirms that he did and Bill responds that there’s no where else to go but up. Hank agrees and wishes his friend a “Merry Christmas” as the two turn to look at the stars. The camera repositions in front of the two who are just smiling as they look at the neighborhood all covered in Christmas lights. In the background, we see Dale emerge from his house in a purple dress. He sees that Hank and Bill have ditched their own and quickly turns around before the two spot him.

I think Bill looked better in a dress than Dale.

And so ends a Christmas special unlike any I can think of. It’s a pretty complex plot as we go from the uncomfortable reality that is supporting Bill around the holidays, to suicidal Bill, to Bill as Lenore, and ultimately a resolution. I said upfront that it wasn’t the most festive Christmas episode out there, but it never lets the holiday become irrelevant to the plot. It’s always there in the background and we even get to see some festive attire on the main cast during the party scene. I find it amusing that the first Christmas episode of King of Hill involved Hank losing his sight due to mental trauma and here in the second it’s Bill losing his sense of self and becoming his ex. That is, if you believe him. I think the show is pretty clear that Bill knows what he’s doing the whole time. He’s probably more in control than he lets on, but at the same time, he’s also out of answers and willing to try something drastic in order to cling to the memory of his wife.

Oh Bill, we love to watch your pain.

Bill is a very sad man, but one played for laughs. The show is very careful with his portrayal here so that I think we can feel bad for him while also laughing at him. He needs help, but as Hank observed, he also needs to help himself and he’s basically unwilling to do that. Maybe turning to a pet was actually a start, though naming the pet after his ex-wife undermined that. A huge amount of credit needs to go to Stephen Root who is so wonderful as Bill. It’s one of those voice performances where uninformed people are surprised to see who the actor is behind the role. He must be appreciated by Mike Judge given the role he played in Office Space, and like a lot of this cast, it would be hard to imagine anyone else playing Bill as well or as convincing as Root.

I think we witnessed Bill come real close to getting murdered.

What it comes down to with this episode of King of the Hill is are you able to find humor in suicide and depression? If you can’t that is understandable and you will want to avoid this episode of King of the Hill. I think it arguably gets a little darker during the party when it looks like Bill is about to get lynched for presenting as a woman. Transgender rights weren’t as forefront in 1998 as they are now, but this episode did air just over two months after the murder of Matthew Shepard. King of the Hill rarely shows the ugly side of Texas when it comes to such things. Usually, the show delights in playing against expectations, but in that scene they presented a gathering of people who almost all seemed united in wanting to inflict harm on a biological male who dared to identify as a woman. It reads a lot heavier than maybe the show intended.

Even so, I think this is a very funny episode of King of the Hill. I find Bill’s halfhearted attempts at ending his life harmless and the reactions of those around him are also pretty damn amusing. It’s not a typical holly, jolly, Christmas episode, but it does have a happy ending and no one is irreparably harmed. Well, maybe Mrs. Tobbis. It was a real dick move on the part of Peggy to offer up her phone number to Bill. If you want to catch this episode, it’s currently streaming on Hulu with the rest of the series or on Disney+ depending on your location or subscription. If physical media is more your thing then it’s also available with the rest of Season Three on DVD.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 12 – Regular Show – “The Christmas Special”

I have a pretty tremendous blind spot for most animated shows produced between 2005-2015. If it was a show animated and marketed at adults, then I might have checked it out. If it was a show created primarily for kids and not based on some existing IP I knew from my childhood then I almost…

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Dec. 12 – A Very Venture Christmas

This one has been a long time coming. One of my all-time favorite television shows is The Venture Bros., but it’s a show I really haven’t spent much time discussing on this blog. I guess because I view it as contemporary, even though the pilot premiered almost 20 years ago now. For most of this…

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Dec. 12 – Bob’s Burgers – “The Bleakening”

All right, we’ve been at this for a few years now so you probably don’t need much of a primer on Bob’s Burgers, right? The animated sitcom which is shockingly in its 12th season (shocking because it still feels new to me) has become a reliable spot for Christmas fun each and every year. The…

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Dec. 15 – Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas

Original air date December 19, 1995

Today we continue our lookback at the best holiday specials ever sent to television and today’s subject is everyone’s favorite pair of Gen X deadbeats Beavis and Butt-Head. Beavis and Butt-Head were created by Mike Judge and the pair got its start on MTV’s Liquid Television in 1992. There they were a cruel, destructive, pair that delighted in smashing innocent frogs with baseball bats. They would evolve into being just plain stupid with Butt-Head taking on a more sociopathic personality and Beavis that of a subservient pyromaniac. The two were also victims of their environment as there were never any parental figures in their life, most of their teachers treated them with open hostility or just failed to listen to them, and they were basically forced to fend for themselves without ever receiving any training on how to do so. As a result, they spend most of their time watching television, eating junk, masturbating, and trying to find ways to “score” which will likely never happen because who could ever love Beavis and Butt-Head?

The duo that captivated a generation and told us who was cool and who was a “bunghole.”

Millions of adolescents at home, that’s who! When Beavis and Butt-Head got their own show in 1993 they were an instant hit. Who could forget that classic animated block airing weeknights on MTV of Beavis and Butt-Head at 7 PM followed by Speed Racer at 7:30? Yeah, that happened, though maybe my memory is mixing up the order in which they aired. Then some kid set his home on fire and the outcry over Beavis and Butt-Head being responsible forced MTV to move the show to late nights which made it harder for a kid like myself to watch, but not impossible. And for the record, it was found that kid had never even seen the show or was aware of its existence, but like that has ever stopped a media crusade against a television show, movie, or video game?

The show is quite stupid, but intentionally so. It’s satire, and when it’s on the show is quite funny. There is an odd juxtaposition at work though as the structure of the show was to take a roughly 5-7 minute cartoon and extend it with segments of the characters watching music videos on their own TV. During these segments, the two became much smarter and more clever than they were in their cartoons and that’s mostly because these segments were just Mike Judge (who voiced the pair) riffing on what he was seeing. It’s the type of thing many a Gen Xer or millennial would do throughout the 90s just watching television, be it MTV or something else. We hung out with our friends, watched whatever was on, and made fun of it to amuse ourselves. For the show, it was a genius way to fill time on the cheap as MTV had the rights to air those videos basically however they wanted and the little animation needed to go along with those videos could be recycled often. And it was amusing how these characters were presented as morons that no one would want to hang out with during the cartoons, but suddenly seemed cool while watching the videos. I’d watch videos with them, and if they liked an artist or song I was likely to enjoy it as well. Though it was far more entertaining when they watched something they didn’t like.

This Christmas special might set a record for most title cards.

In 1993, the show had its first Christmas special. “A Very Special Christmas with Beavis and Butt-Head” was an episode of the show that was just the two watching television. A whole bunch of Christmas videos were shown and the pair riffed on it. I think there were also some segments of the two just watching a burning Yule log as well. I say “I think” because that special hasn’t been made available on home media. You see, filling episodes with videos may have been cheap and easy to do at the time, but for home video it made the show a nightmare. MTV could air those videos as often as it wanted and whenever it wanted, but it couldn’t put them on a tape or DVD and sell them. That’s why most episodes of Beavis and Butt-Head released on home video are just the cartoons and it’s a shame because they don’t work nearly as well on their own as they did as part of a larger package. Even Paramount has found it hard to get all of the old episodes onto its streaming service. Despite telling consumers they were coming, the network has failed to deliver. Sure, there’s some on there, but it’s patchy at best, so if anyone is sitting on a VCR recording of the first Christmas episode how about hooking up your favorite Christmas blogger?

Because it could be released on video, the more popular Christmas special featuring the duo is “Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas.” This special is primarily composed of two cartoons with some segments of Butt-Head reading viewer mail. I don’t think the original broadcast featured any videos and I’m curious if that was by design so that MTV could release it on VHS since Christmas specials usually do pretty well on home video. Either way, it’s the subject of today’s post and it’s a special I enjoy a lot even if it commits my least favorite sin against the holiday as it adapts not one, but both of A Christmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life. That’s a Nostalgia Spot no-no when it comes to Christmas specials, but thankfully this isn’t a special that’s going to adapt them straight. It also isn’t super creative as it does what you would probably expect of Beavis and Butt-Head in that it takes the story and delivers the opposite conclusion. Or in the case of “It’s a Miserable Life,” presents the opposite premise. It manages to be entertaining, and since the segments aren’t that long, it manages to make it work.

Part 1 stars Beavis, who I think we can agree is the favorite of the two?

Part One of “Do Christmas” is titled “Huh-Huh-Humbug” and it’s obviously going to be our A Christmas Carol parody. It begins with an instrumental of “Jingle Bells” on a black screen with snow filling the air. Then a dead rat falls through the screen to shatter our idyllic, Christmas, imagery. It lands with a splat on the flat-top grill at Burger World, Beavis and Butt-Head’s place of employment. Beavis is applying a cleaning agent to the dead rodent which is what the snow-like substance was as it fries on the grill while Butt-Head is asleep at the register. Beavis starts pressing down on the carcass with his spatula while uttering “Not a creature was stirring.” He’s more clever than we tend to give him credit for.

To the tune of “The Christmas Song,” Dead rats steaming on a flat-top grill…

Beavis is interrupted by his manager (Judge) who rightly asks what he’s doing. Beavis, who possesses limited skills but one is apparently talking himself out of trouble, says he’s just trying to clean the grill like his boss asked of him. This sets off a lecture from the manager who accuses Beavis of screwing around. He points to himself as a success story and I think we’re supposed to laugh at him because his life’s ambition was to be an assistant manager at a fast food restaurant, but hey, if this guy has a home and is able to provide for his family then who are we to judge? As he lays into Beavis, he does do the asshole boss thing of pointing out that he gets to go home and spend Christmas with his family (I assume this is Christmas Eve) while these two stay and work, but little of his lecture gets through because Beavis has fallen asleep while standing. We then hear the sound of slapping as the manager wakes Butt-Head up on his way out as the screen dissolves to take us into the mind of Beavis.

Looks like Beavis does have some ambition after all.

We’re still at Burger World, but now Beavis is in charge and it’s his principal, McVicker (Judge), who is manning the grill as his underling. Beavis is just laying into him for screwing around, much like his manager was, only McVicker wasn’t. Beavis concedes this, but doesn’t care and accuses him of doing nothing instead which won’t pay the bills. McVicker, in his shaky, pathetic, voice, asks Beavis if he can go home to see his family on account of business being slow and it’s Christmas Eve. Butt-Head, who hasn’t changed roles in Beavis’s dream, asks if he can see his family too, but Beavis calls him a “bum-hug” and reminds him he doesn’t have a family to which Butt-Head responds, “Oh yeah.” Beavis then lays into McVicker about how they would all like to go home. Hell, he’d like to go home and spank his monkey, which Beavis notes is a good idea and decides to do just that because he’s the manager and he can do whatever he wants. He puts Butt-Head in charge who orders McVicker to clean the grill. He does as he’s told while moaning like he’s in tremendous pain as Beavis puts on his coat and hat and heads out to go “unwrap his wiener.”

Beavis only wishes he could spend Christmas Eve at home, on his couch, with a porno.

When Beavis arrives home it’s basically exactly like his home in the real world. He discards his coat and hat and takes his usual spot on the couch to watch a porno: Ebenezer Screw. He’s pretty jazzed up about it and even declares this film a Christmas classic. As the video begins we get to see some of the cast which Beavis reads aloud for us: Tiny Johnson and Bob Scratchit. Scratchit kind of looks like a Ron Jeremy parody which would make sense for a 90s TV show. As Beavis demands the video get to the chicks, the screen goes dark and reads “And introducing Butt-Head.” A black and white version of Butt-Head draped in chains floats out of the television. Attached to the ends of the chains are video tapes. As he stands before Beavis he explains, “In life I was your partner, but now I’m some dead guy with cool chains.”

Beavis and some dead guy with cool chains.

Beavis is impressed, more so that Butt-Head managed to get into a porno and not for being a ghost (even though we just saw him alive a moment ago, but this is Beavis’s screwed up dream). Butt-Head takes his usual spot on the couch as if he’s about to do what he always does, but then remembers he has a task. He stands up and announces that Beavis will be visited by three ghosts, or something. He then returns to the TV with a “Later, dude,” and his visage is soon replaced by the porno. Scratchit is about to get down with an actress, but just before she can remove her top the face of Tom Anderson (Judge) steps in front of her.

Anderson looks like such a dork.

This enrages Beavis who just wants to watch a porno, but Anderson comes out of the TV dressed like an angel with a goofy hat. He’s here to show Beavis his past and he does so by sitting on the couch beside him and changing the channel. He shows Beavis he and Butt-Head on Christmas day when they were five. It’s just the two of them seated on the couch as usual. As Anderson changes it to show the two age up, they just remain in the same spot. Beavis thinks his past is pretty cool, but Anderson tells him he’s wasted his life which just leads to Beavis responding with “Yeah, well at least I’m not some old fat guy.” He’s very hostile towards Anderson and tells him to get the hell out. As Anderson fades away he remarks, “You can’t lead a jackass to water and make him drink.”

Just let the guy wank it in peace!

With Anderson gone, Beavis can now resume his porno, but we all know what’s coming and I think, deep down, he does too. The girl is back on the screen, but she is soon replaced with an image of Mr. VanDriessen, Beavis’s hippy teacher. Beavis immediately gets annoyed as VanDriessen floats out of the TV in a meditative position wearing a Father Christmas robe and wreath on his head. He tells Beavis, who is furiously fighting with the remote to bring back his porno, that he can’t be tuned out. He then announces himself as the Ghost of Christmas Present, but Beavis shouts back, “No way, you’re Mr. VanDriessen and you’re pissing me off!” Beavis then realizes he said “present” and asks if he brought some Christmas presents. VanDriessen tries to explain his role here, but it’s in one ear and out the other with Beavis who instead asks more questions like can he sneak him into the girl’s locker room since he’s a ghost and all. VanDriessen does his best to ignore him and instead takes the remote to show him how Christmas is today, but Beavis just asks if they’re going to watch some bare ass.

Try to keep in mind that this is how Beavis imagines the McVicker family, though it does make me wonder what they’re really like.

We’re then shown the home of the McVickers. The family is huddled inside at the kitchen table anxiously awaiting the return of their patriarch with Christmas dinner. All of them look the same as if McVicker married a cousin, or sister, or worse, and they all shiver and moan like McVicker. There’s six kids, and one of them is just hoping for some fries while the smallest, and most sickly of the lot, hopes their dad comes home with a big bag from the dumpster! The mom cautions them not to get too carried away and urges them to keep praying. I guess their prayers are answered as Mr. McVicker does show up and in his hands is a Burger World Merry Meal. It’s basically a Happy Meal which means the family has a single cheeseburger and order of fries to share amongst themselves. It also contains their Christmas present: stick-on tattoos. The little one thinks they’re pretty great as the scene ends.

This little potato-headed kid is basically our Tiny Tim, only he won’t be saved.

On the couch, VanDriessen tries to show Beavis how a family who has nothing, like the McVickers, still have each other. Beavis doesn’t see things that way and just sees an employee stealing food. VanDriessen tries explaining that it’s the only food they’ll have this Christmas and tries to reason with Beavis by telling him that if he doesn’t give McVicker a raise his kids may not see another Christmas. Beavis is unmoved and instead vows to fire him. VanDriessen concedes that he can’t force Beavis to think a certain way and he floats off into the sky. Beavis calls him a butthole, then grabs the remote to resume his porno.

Buzzcut doesn’t screw around.

Only he doesn’t even get teased by a woman this time. Instead, it’s Coach Buzzcut (Judge) as the Ghost of Christmas Future who comes screaming out of the television to show Beavis how things will end up if he doesn’t change his ways. Beavis is quite annoyed at this latest intrusion, but Buzzcut isn’t taking any crap from him. Despite being a ghost, he’s able to grab Beavis by the ear and yank him towards him and threatens him with sodomy by Christmas tree. Beavis actually smiles at this threat and notes “That would hurt,” before Buzzcut tosses him back onto the couch and grabs the remote.

The future we all want.

He brings up the McVicker house, only now the kids are gone and it’s just Mr. McVicker and his wife. Beavis asks what happened to the kids and Buzzcut points out that this is the future and they didn’t have enough food to feed them. Beavis concludes that they must have ate them, but Buzzcut corrects him. He doesn’t actually say they’re dead, so maybe the state just took them. At any rate, Beavis disagrees with this view of the future and we’re shown a dream within a dream (Beavis and Butt-Head did it before Inception!) as we’re whisked to another version of the future. This one is more like Star Trek, but we’re in Burger World again. Butt-Head, now sporting bad teenaged facial hair, is telling a customer that he’s going to pay for his fries whether he likes it or not. When the customer demands to see the manager, Beavis comes bursting in. He basically looks like a Terminator carrying a goofy laser rifle. He lays waste to all of the customers and the building itself and then announces “I’m back. Heh, heh, this is cool.” Butt-Head thanks him for taking care of the customers, but Beavis tells him to shut up and shoots him in the dick.

This dream has officially become a nightmare.

We’re back in the living room where Beavis has concluded that the future is pretty cool. Buzzcut just grabs him by the shirt with both hands to scream at him that that is not what the future is going to look like. He reasons he’ll have to take him out of the house to show him in order to drive his point home so some mist enters through the window and a bolt of lightning shoots through the sky. We’re now in a cemetery and Beavis declares that the future kicks ass! Buzzcut just points out a nearby open grave with a headstone that reads “Here lies Beavis. He never scored.” Beavis struggles to read it, but eventually gets through it, and at first just thinks this is some loser with the same name as him. Buzzcut backhands him into the open grave and makes it clear to Beavis that this is his grave. He never left the house, just sat on the couch and watched pornography his whole life and thus never scored. Beavis sits up in the grave and finally realizes that this sucks. He’s struggling though to find a conclusion, and before he can get it out we’re back in Burger World.

Who runs this franchise? Why pay two kids to work when no one is there or will be there? Is it possible Beavis and Butt-Head know how to cash a check and essentially work for free?

Butt-Head has been shaking Beavis trying to wake him up because it’s midnight. This is setting up some Christmas realization, but when Beavis asks “So?” Butt-Head informs him it’s his turn to sleep. Beavis then tells Butt-Head he just had a dream about the future and now his conclusion is “It’s gonna be okay.” He becomes Butt-Head’s boss, has a VCR and some porn – what more could a kid want? Butt-Head concludes that this is pretty cool and Beavis declares that working on Christmas is cool too. An instrumental of “Joy to the World” accompanied by the incessant laughter of our two protagonists takes us out. As the camera pans out we see the Burger World sign which reads “Open 24 hours Xmas Day.” What an awful place to work.

Poor Beavis just gets abused throughout these segments.

Our next segment is Letters to Santa Butt-Head. In this one, Butt-Head (dressed as Santa, naturally) reads viewer mail and responds to questions while Beavis stands around dressed like a reindeer for Butt-Head to whip. The genius here is that Beavis is restrained and even has this uncomfortable harness in his mouth and we’re going to laugh at his misery. The first letter is from a kid who doesn’t like Christmas. He prefers Thanksgiving because he can eat all he wants and then go burp and poop. The duo have a giggle at the mention of poop and Santa Butt-Head promises to take a dump under his tree. The next letter is from a girl who wants a man. He should be young, blonde, and into Metallica. Butt-Head thinks he sounds like a wuss, but Beavis realizes he fits that description, but Butt-Head won’t give him the letter and whips him instead. The next one is from another girl who makes it clear she wants Beavis, but Butt-Head won’t deliver and whips Beavis some more. The next girl also plainly states she wants Beavis and will basically treat him like a pet. This leads to another disagreement, and Santa Butt-Head is a little frustrated at all of this Beavis love. Our final letter is more in his wheelhouse as it’s from some guy who just wants him to kick “the bejesus out of Beavis.” Santa Butt-Head is happy to oblige.

Now it’s Butt-Head’s turn.

The next segment is the two just watching an electronic Yule log while “Dance of the Sugar Plum” fairy plays in the background. They’re just critiquing Santa’s laugh and doing their own version while all we see is the fake log. This segment is brief and then goes into “It’s a Miserable Life” which stars Butt-Head. This one opens on an aerial shot of Highland and we hear the prayers of some of its citizens. There’s Stewart’s mom (Tracy Grandstaff), Principal McVicker, Tom Anderson, and Mr. VanDriessen, among others. They’re all asking for God to make Beavis and Butt-Head go away with McVicker explicitly asking that the lord kill the pair. I like how VanDriessen raises the possibility the pair could breed as if it’s justification for dealing with them now, even though we know the two will never score. The prayers seemingly worked though as we pan to the heavens and see two constellations, essentially, having a conversation about answering prayers. One tells the other to summon an individual named Charlie.

Would a RoboCop Christmas be cool? We may find out later on…

We then find Beavis and Butt-Head doing what they’re most often doing: watching television. They catch a bit of It’s a Wonderful Life, which is amusing because they’re parodying it as we speak. They stay on the channel just long enough for the Jimmy Stewart (Kristofor Brown) character to remark that a bunch of people gave him money so he wouldn’t kill himself! The two find this stupid and change the channel, but every channel has some “dumb Christmas thing” on including a RoboCop Christmas that might have been pretty cool. This realization forces the pair to conclude that it must be Christmas.

There’s no subtlety to Charlie’s tactics to reach Beavis and Butt-Head, and yet they still fail.

Back in the sky, the godly beings resume their discussion now that Charlie (Chris Phillips), their guardian angel, has shown up. Charlie tries to tell them he’s tried many times to reach Beavis and Butt-Head, but they’re simply unreachable. He demonstrates by going into their television where he appears on screen and talks directly to them. The two still don’t respond and Butt-Head turns the TV off in disgust. Beavis lasts about two seconds before he starts freaking out about no TV and Butt-Head has to slap him. He tells him no, this is Christmas, so lets go out and find some chicks. Beavis perks up at the suggestion and the two leave. In the heavens, Charlie is told there is no redeeming these two and he must take from them their very lives. Charlie doesn’t seem to like the suggestion, but also doesn’t exactly put forth much of a protest either. Beavis and Butt-Head must die!

They’re simple creatures at heart. Just give them porn and nachos and they’ll be set.

We next catch-up with the pair as they stand in a cinema parking lot in the pouring rain. The two don’t understand why no one is around, so they head to their favorite spot, the Maxi-Mart. When they arrive, the manager (Judge) is closing up for the night and tells the two to get lost. It’s Christmas Eve! Beavis notices there’s a new issue of Wet Hooters inside while Butt-Head laments that everything he needs for the rest of his life is behind these locked doors. Beavis kicks at them in frustration, then says “Life sucks, and then you…” and he can’t remember the rest. Butt-Head finishes the proverb for him, “and then you die, bunghole!” and the two walk off.

Is this the end for Beavis and Butt-Head?! No, of course not.

The two end up on a rather rickety looking bridge. Below, the torrential rain has caused the river to run wildly so they do the smart thing and start wrestling with each other on the narrow bridge. Charlie shows up and uses “angel powers” to make the water on the bridge freeze, but rather than slip and fall, the two complain that they’re cold and stop fighting. This frustrates Charlie who calls out to them to get their attention, but he slips and falls into the river below. Beavis and Butt-Head enjoy watching him flail around and if you thought they were going to render aid then you’re watching the wrong holiday special. When Charlie eventually makes his way back onto the bridge the two just ask if he’s going to jump again. When he informs them that he will not, they get bored and decide to leave.

There’s no intellectual curiosity with these two. Plus Charlie is stupid. If he tossed an issue of Wet Hooters off the bridge these two would certainly jump.

Charlie chases after them and is shocked to see that they have zero interest in him. When he asks the two if they’re even curious about how he knows their names, Butt-Head just responds matter-of-factly, “No.” He tries explaining the whole guardian angel thing, and then informs the two he’s actually there to relieve them of their lives. He apparently has no spine for this sort of task, so he politely suggests they go voluntarily. Butt-Head surprisingly realizes that Charlie is suggesting they jump off the bridge and refuses since they’d likely die. Beavis then theorizes that this guy might pay them to jump, and Butt-Head is the only one of the two smart enough to know that money is no good when you’re dead.

I kind of want to know who lives in the house next door to Anderson in this universe.

Charlie then gets the “bright” idea to show Butt-Head what the world would be like if he were never born. He raises his hands and calls forth a bright light which stops the bad weather, restores the bridge to something more secure, and makes Beavis vanish. Butt-Head seems to think this is cool and Charlie leads him back into town. There they find the place has come alive with the sights and sounds of Christmas. Butt-Head is confused, but Charlie tells him this is all because he was never born. The two walk past Anderson’s house and Butt-Head notes that his lawn isn’t in disrepair and Charlie, once again, explains it’s because he wasn’t there to wreck it. Anderson is standing at the end of his walkway ringing a bell and wishing everyone who walks by a merry Christmas, but as Butt-Head and Charlie walk off Butt-Head’s foot gets caught in one of the wires for his Christmas decorations which sets off a chain reaction destroying his whole display. Anderson can only slam the bell on the ground and cry out “God damnit!”

McVicker is actually a well-adjusted man in this world. Or he’s still an asshole that is willing to sing Christmas carols.

Charlie leads Butt-Head to the Burger World parking lot which is hopping since the duo of Beavis and Butt-Head haven’t ruined the restaurant’s reputation. Next, they walk past the school where Butt-Head is shocked to find McVicker leading a group of students in song. McVicker has hair and Daria is there with her boyfriend because Butt-Head wasn’t around to destroy her faith in men. Butt-Head is disgusted by what he’s seeing and demands to know where Beavis is since Beavis owes him a dollar. Charlie cautions Butt-Head that he won’t like it when he finds out. He then reveals that Beavis is with Stewart (Adam Welsh) at a homeless shelter. Butt-Head assumes Beavis is homeless and finds this cool, but we know better.

Probably not that surprising that Beavis found someone else to be number 2 to. Heh, number 2…

The two head to the homeless shelter where they immediately find Stewart ladling out soup to the homeless. He chastises a guy for going for seconds before everyone else has had a chance at firsts and kicks him out of line. Butt-Head is surprised to see Stewart acting this way, but Charlie reminds him that he wasn’t there to crush Stewart’s self-esteem. Stewart then calls out to Beavis because he needs more soup and Beavis humbly emerges from the kitchen with a fresh pot. He’s sporting a hair net and wearing a black Winger t-shirt, the same we’d usually see on Stewart (he’s wearing a blue Poison shirt), but is otherwise still Beavis, just more cheerful. Butt-Head then demands to know what Beavis is doing hanging out with Stewart and calls him a bunghole. Beavis, having never met Butt-Head before, is confused and asks, “What’s a bunghole?” Butt-Head retorts with, “You’re a bunghole – bunghole!” and Stewart jumps into the conversation to tell him you can’t define a word with itself.

This isn’t going to work, Butt-Head.

Butt-Head has had enough and demands that Beavis leave with him. He grabs Beavis by the arm who naturally resists. He starts to freak out in his usual Beavis way while Butt-Head insists he come with him on account of owing him that dollar. Eventually, a bunch of guys come to Beavis’s aid calling him a good kid and they tell Butt-Head to leave him alone. The drag him out offscreen and tell him to never come back as we hear the sound of Butt-Head getting punched. Stewart asks Beavis if he’s all right and he responds that he is while noting that they get “a lot of crazies in here.” He then repeats the word “bunghole” to himself. Remarking that he kind of likes it, he just starts saying it over and over as we fade out.

And our two heroes, having vanquished the murderous angel, walk off into the…gray.

Butt-Head is back on the bridge, and after finding that the world sucks without him, asks Charlie to undo what he has done. The weather starts to turn and the bridge turns to shit as Charlie and Beavis appear in a flash of light. Butt-Head is amazed and Beavis is wondering what he’s doing, calling him a bunghole in the process. When Butt-Head acknowledges that Beavis knows what a bunghole is, Beavis replies with “You’re a bunghole – bunghole!” With everything seemingly back to the way it was, the two walk off forcing Charlie to chase after them. As he cries out about making the world a better place, he slips and falls back into the river only this time the current takes him away presumably to his death. Beavis and Butt-Head laugh and Butt-Head shares what he’s learned today: the world sucks, but it would suck a lot more without them in it. The familiar Beavis and Butt-Head outro theme kicks in and the two head off to find some chicks.

I kind of like how the animation would get crude during the video segments, which it does here for the Yule log bit.

We’re not done though! We return to the Yule log and “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” as the two comment on how they like the song. Beavis decides it sounds like Ozzy and the two start imitating the notes of the song, but as low guitar tones. Eventually, this turns into the two doing their “Iron Man” routine before the scene fades out and is replaced with another segment of Letters to Santa Butt-Head. Butt-Head is going to read more letters and the first is from some kid named Boner. He wants Santa Butt-Head to get his dad off the crapper and to come spend Christmas with the family, but Butt-Head, having concluded this father figure must be pretty cool if he named his son Boner, tells the kid to let his dad take a crap.

We still have time for more letters from Santa Butt-Head.

Our next letter comes from Jeff Boogers who wants to know what happens to the reindeer turds when the reindeer take a dump in mid-air. “Well Jeff, they hit the ground and go ‘plop.'” The next letter is from a guy wanting to know if he kicks the ass of some guy after his chick if he’ll still get presents. Santa Butt-Head informs the gent to go ahead and kick this guy’s ass, then send his girl to Santa Butt-Head. The next letter is from a guy named Ethan who just wants to shout out his friends. Santa Butt-Head keeps telling the voice over to shut up as the shout outs ring out. Santa Butt-Head is forced to confess to Ethan that he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about any of these people.

Their prayers have been answered.

The last letter is from a woman named Karen Kleavage. She has big “thingies” and just dumped her boyfriend so she can wait naked under the tree for Beavis and Butt-Head. The two are entranced as the letter is read and shaking with excitement. Butt-Head then returns the letter to his sack while Beavis reminds him that she wants both of them. Surprisingly, Santa Butt-Head doesn’t crack the whip and instead takes this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Yuletide or something and then announces that they’re gonna score!

Santa Butt-Head needs to take his sleigh and go now, boys and girls.

And thus “Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas” is concluded. Did they score? Probably not. I think we can consider those segments non-canon, if anyone cares about what is and is not canon in the world of Beavis and Butt-Head. The special is a delightfully subversive take on the Christmas special format and the two works it is lampooning. In some ways, it shouldn’t work since as I noted in the intro these two stories have been adapted, parodied, and what-not to death at this point, but the show makes them work. It’s not a special that has a lot of observations to make about the holiday or society, it just wants to present Christmas through the lens of Beavis and Butt-Head.

The Yule log bit is a decent idea, but no substitute for actual music videos.

And that’s enough. A lot of the jokes are easy and delivered in a rather blunt manner. There are lines in this one that make me laugh out loud, but just reading them doesn’t do them justice. At this stage in the show’s production, Mike Judge has basically mastered the two and knows how to deliver his lines. He does the heavy lifting too as he’s just one of three regular voice actors. A bunch are credited as additional voices and I assume they’re the ones doing the voice overs for the Letters to Santa Butt-Head segments. I swear one of the angelic bodies sounds like Toby Huss, but he’s not credited so I guess I’m wrong. The sound design as a whole is fairly basic with jolly Christmas songs ushering in the shorts and sprinkled throughout. The no videos thing is kind of strange, but we get the Yule log segments instead. They’re nothing special, but I appreciate the effort to find a music video substitute.

Charlie got what he deserved.

The two cartoons are the meat of “Do Christmas” and they’re both pretty entertaining. I think I prefer the first segment more as the visual of Beavis pressing a rat on the grill and his frustrations about not getting to enjoy his porno do it for me. “It’s a Miserable Life” is funny as well, but is almost a little too obvious with its jokes. I wish there was one genuine surprise in the alternate timeline for Butt-Head to experience, but I don’t think that’s really the show’s style. The animation is pretty standard for an episode of the show so there’s no extra layers or anything present and that’s fine. The show is actually animated fairly well, but its style is intentionally ugly as that’s what suits it. Imagine if they had altered the style in Butt-Head’s alternate timeline? That could have been pretty fun.

“Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas” is a classic in my book because its subversive nature makes it unique. Well, it did in 1995, but since then we’ve had a lot of such specials arrive. I’m not saying this one was the first or anything, but it was one of the first I personally encountered. And I like the show and it makes me laugh. I enjoy every holiday season watching Mickey, Garfield, and the Grinch with my kids, but I also enjoy putting this one on after I’ve sent them to bed. If you would like to do the same this year, “Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas” was released on DVD many moons ago alongside “Butt-O-Ween” and can still be found for a reasonable sum. It’s also streaming on Paramount+ where it’s listed among the Mike Judge Collection of episodes. I think it lacks the log and letters segments, but does contain both cartoons.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 15 – South Park – “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo”

Today we are continuing our look back at the best of the best when it comes to Christmas specials and today’s entrant comes from the quiet, mountain, town of South Park. South Park burst onto the scene in 1997 and basically transformed the Comedy Central network from the get-go. The show about four foul-mouthed kids…

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Dec. 15 – Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

It’s December 15 which means it’s time for another retro throwback and I bet you’re surprised to see the green guy here. Since I dubbed Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! as the best ever Christmas special not just once, but twice, you may have expected it to appear on this year’s edition in…

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Dec. 12 – King of the Hill – “The Unbearable Blindness of Laying”

Original air date December 21, 1997

After yesterday’s horrid feature, I feel that today calls for a Christmas special that’s actually good. And in order to satisfy that desire, I’m heading for Arlen, Texas for our first look at a special from the animated sitcom, King of the Hill. Back when King of the Hill premiered on the Fox Network in 1997, creator Mike Judge was basically known for one thing: Beavis and Butt-Head. The dimwitted pair of Gen-Xers were often misunderstood by the general public. Most saw it as a stupid show and not as the parody it was. That was also partly due to kids like me watching the show and actually viewing the titular duo in a positive light. If they liked a band or music video, then it must be cool, even though the whole premise of the show was that these were a pair of losers worthy of mocking.

The lazy way to describe the premise of King of the Hill is to say Judge took his character Tom Anderson from Beavis and Butt-Head and gave him his own show, only now he had a new name: Hank Hill. And while the two characters certainly share a similar voice, King of the Hill is very much a conventional sitcom about how one family continues to adapt to an ever-changing world. It’s surprisingly open-minded as I think most turn to Hank Hill as some sort of beacon for conservative thought, but the man is far more nuanced than just some redneck Texan. He certainly possesses some prejudice and strong opinions on masculine matters, but he often reacts in a positive manner when he’s shown his point of view is wrong. And the things he remains stubborn on, like the virtues of propane or his preference for beer, are often inconsequential.

King of the Hill was pretty successful from the get-go. It premiered in May of 1997 with the usual small order of episodes for a first season, but was quickly picked up. The second season would premiere a mere four months after the series premiere and it’s in that second season the show would give us its first Christmas episode. “The Unbearable Blindness of Laying” is a pretty funny episode and it might be the show’s best Christmas episode. I know a lot of people like the Season Three episode “Pretty, Pretty, Dresses” and maybe we can look at that one next year, but I’m still pretty attached to this one. This episode is yet another episode of the show where Hank is forced to adapt to a pretty significant change in his world. His mother, long since divorced from his father, is going to show up for Christmas with a new man in tow. And to make things just a bit more complicated, he’s Jewish. Hank isn’t an anti-semite or anything, but he’s often awkward when forced to deal with something he’s unaccustomed to. I also wanted to pick this episode because it features a guest starring role from the late Carl Reiner, who was unfortunately one of 2020’s victims. It’s hard to feel bad for someone who passed away at the ripe old age of 98, but 2020 was such a shitty year that it would have been nice if Reiner could have made it to 2021.

The episode begins with a twangy, instrumental, rendition of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” which is the perfect song to choose considering what the plot has in store for us today. All of the folks in the neighborhood are out stringing lights in celebration of the coming holiday. As a denizen of the north eastern part of the US, it’s always a little funny for me to see Christmas in a warm environment. Hank (Judge) is finishing up with his lights when wife Peggy (Kathy Najimy) approaches. Hank is making sure the colored lights are in their proper order as Peggy questions why he’s not excited to see his mother. Hank corrects her that he is excited to see her, it’s been two years since they were last together, but he’s nervous about meeting her new boyfriend.

Hank’s memory of how his father treated his mother.

As Peggy and Hank wait for Hank’s mother, Tilly (Tammy Wynette), at the airport gate, Peggy tries to get Hank to warm up to seeing his mom with a new man. Hank is clearly traumatized from his youth when his father treated his mother like a footrest. We even get a cut-away of Cotton Hill (Toby Huss) literally using Tilly as a footrest in the kitchen while she scrubs the floor. He can’t imagine why she would sign-up for more of the same as he apparently can’t fathom his mother finding a man who treats her well. Tilly then emerges from the the connecting tunnel carrying two pieces of luggage which irritates Hank immediately. Tilly then shakes his hand, two-handed style, which unnerves Hank who is not one for public displays of affection as he tells his mother one-hand only.

The Hills meet Gary.

Tilly’s boyfriend then comes strolling in from the restroom (“You flush it and where does it go?”) and goes right into a much bigger display of affection. Reiner voices him as the stereotypical old Jewish man, which makes sense since Reiner himself is an old Jewish man. He embraces Peggy and kisses her cheek and goes for a big hug with Hank. Hank is clearly unnerved, but Tilly’s boyfriend, Gary Kasner, isn’t going to back down or allow Hank’s obvious discomfort to sway him.

At the Hill residence, Hank informs his mother and Gary of the expected sleeping arrangements. Gary is to sleep on a cot in son Bobby’s room, which prompts Tilly to ask if Hank is uncomfortable with she and Gary sleeping together. Hank assures her it never entered his mind until she said something, and now he can’t possibly think of anything else as he heads down the hall to presumably setup the cot.

When times get rough, turn to your buds and suds.

Outside, Hank drinks beer with the rest of the nieghborhood: Dale (Johnny Hardwick), Bill (Stephen Root), and Boomhauer (Judge). Hank is venting about Gary, and when he says the man’s full name Dale questions if he’s German. Hank corrects him that he’s Jewish, and there’s an awkward silence before Dale demonstrates that he’s surprisingly receptive. Hank is mostly suspicious of the guy because of the luggage thing and the fact that he won’t eat steak after having a bypass, noting his boss gets an annual bypass and eats steak every day! This gets Bill and Dale discussing sacred animals to certain faiths, prompted by Bill first mistakenly thinking cows were sacred to Jews, ending with Bill rationalizing that he can’t follow a religion that restricts his diet. There are ways to get into Heaven, but if that’s one of them then Bill wants no part of it!

Bobby, the budding comedian, finds a role model of sorts in Gary.

Inside the house, Gary and Bobby (Pamela Adlon) are getting ready for bed as Gary will be sleeping on a cot in Bobby’s room. Bobby notes that he and Gary have the same build, which feels like the start of a subplot where Bobby and Gary become kindred spirits. Gary agrees with Bobby’s assessment and Bobby asks him if he’s a war hero like his biological grandfather. Gary replies he’s not, though he spent a lot of time on a submarine in Korea which prompts Bobby to ask about toilets on a submarine. Gary laughs and remarks, “You, I like.” Bobby has apparently never heard anyone phrase “I like you,” in such a manner and concludes it’s funnier to say it that way, but in a very nonchalant, deadpan, manner. It also causes Bobby to think everyone from Arizona, where Gary and Tilly traveled from, speaks like Gary.

Hank is then shown tossing and turning in bed. Apparently, he is so bothered by the presence of Gary it’s affecting his sleep, even though he successfully managed to get Gary and his mom into separate rooms. We see time pass from 11:00 to 1:20 and at that point Hank gets up. In the living room (or den, or whatever) he finds Gary sitting on the couch eating something he found. Gary is happy to see Hank as he wants to know what this “delicious cutlet” he’s eating is. Hank tells him it’s chicken-fried steak and Gary suggests he’ll count it under chicken, since he’s allowed to eat that. He then tells Hank to sit down and suggests they have a talk.

Hank’s “favorite” TV program.

Hank, obviously a bit uneasy about this situation, does as suggested and takes a seat beside Gary. Gary starts by saying Hank’s mother means a lot to him and begins to weave a tale about lonliness in the senior years that Hank cuts off quite quickly by turning on the TV. He tells Gary his favorite “program” is on and what comes on is some TV preacher curing hiccups. Now it’s Gary’s turn to be uncomfortable as he asks Hank, rather carefully, if he believes in this stuff and Hank is fully committed to the lie to get Gary to shut up as he insists he’s not to be disturbed while watching his favorite program.

Love is in the air.

The next morning, the Hills are getting ready to go watch middle school basketball. Bobby is annoying Hank with his “Arizona speak” while Luanne (Brittany Murphy) is insistent they get there before tip-off so she knows which basket belongs to which team. Hank asks his mother if she wants to come along, but she declines. The Hills leave and Gary pops into the kitchen. The sight of Tilly in her robe has Gary feeling a bit frisky after spending the night apart and Tilly seems receptive to his advances.

Oh, my!

In the car, Hank asks Peggy if she remembered to bring the novelty foam finger for the game. She replies in the affirmative, but Hanks keeps escalating the questions: “Does it say number one on it?” “Yes, Hank.” “The basketball one?” “Ugh.” Hank turns the car around because this finger is obviously very important to the middle school basketball game experience. When Hank gets back in the house, he finds the finger on the couch, but hears an odd noise coming from the kitchen. He remarks to himself (in his head) that it sounds like the dryer is on, but his mother’s robe and Gary’s pajamas have been strewn about in the living room. Hank then peers into the kitchen and a look of horror spreads across his face. We’re then “treated” to numerous close-ups and cuts of two, old, wrinkly, bodies going to Pound Town. We see Gary’s USS Trout II tattoo, his pacemaker scar, lots of veins, a few smiles, with the camera lingering on a medical alert bracelet which glistens in the morning sunlight.

Hank backs away from the scene, shaking. His pupils have retreated from each other and we then see Hank’s perspective as the den starts to fade away into nothing. Hank stumbles outside groping for the car. He gets in and tries to start it up, but fumbles the keys. Peggy then realizes her husband is blind! Bobby, ever the comedian, uses this as an opportunity to try out some Gary-speak with a “Blind, he’s gone now!”

Hank’s googly eyes on display.

Hank and Peggy visit an optometrist who concludes that there’s nothing wrong with Hank’s eyes and it doesn’t appear as if he’s had a stroke. He then accusingly asks Hank if he poked himself in the eye, and Hank is adamant he did not. At this point, one of Hank’s pupils is looking down and the other is looking up which is a distracting, but funny, visual that will persist for the remainder of the episode. Peggy is a bit delirious and starts demanding the doctor use some of the fancy machinery she sees all around them to fix Hank’s eyes, even insisting he use some laser in the corner. The doctor says “All right,” but Hank shouts over him. It’s a line delivered with such subtlety that I missed it the first time I watched the scene. Hank then asks if it’s possible to lose your sight after seeing something terrible. The doctor then talks about hysterical blindness and gives a couple of books on the subject to Peggy. He then tells Hank the only way to cure it is to confront what he saw, then adding in a line about when Hank is ready to admit he poked himself that he should come back and get fixed right up.

On the car ride home, Peggy confronts Hank about what he saw. Hank says he can’t tell her lest he lose his voice. Peggy keeps prodding and Hank finally relents. He can barely get it out, but he tells her he saw his mother and Gary in a compromising position. Peggy initially laughs at him, then tells him to get over it referring to him as a big baby. Hank tells her it’s not that easy then asks her how she’d feel if she saw her mother in the arms of a 65 year old man wearing nothing but a submarine tattoo on the kitchen table? Peggy then turns dark and angrily says “I eat breakfast on that table.”

When the two get home, Gary, Tilly, and Bobby are waiting out on the lawn. Hank says he poked his eye and it should get better. When his mom asks “What about the other eye?” he makes up a story about the other eye compensating for the damaged one by shutting down. Gary is confused and remarks he never read about a sympathetic eye condition in any of his psychology magazines which prompts Hank to suggest he read the Ten Commandments. Only Hank is gesturing to a wall and confusing Gary. When he asks “You want I should come over there?” Bobby lets out a chuckle as he picks up more “Arizona speak.”

Lady Bird! No!

In the house, the boys are over watching TV and plenty eager to give Hank a hard time about poking his eye. Hank is wearing the foam finger still as that’s now his guide when he walks around. Bill is really laying into Hank, only his zingers are terrible. He makes a “ring ring” sound and tells Hank the phone is for him and hands him his boot. Hank tries to score one on Bill by throwing the boot back at him, but misses. And worse for Hank, he was holding onto the dog’s, Lady Bird, leash and she bolts after the shoe.

In the kitchen, Bobby and his grandma are rolling dough for cookies when Peggy walks in on them. She freaks out seeing the two prepare cookies on the now defiled table and sweeps everything off of it. Tilly lets out a “Peggy!” while Peggy just starts washing the table and matter-of-factly asks if anyone wants to make cookies.

Poor Hank is then shown shaving, and being a real Texas man he uses a blade, and he’s impossibly bad at blind shaving. He manages to shave off a sideburn and nick his face before giving up. He puts some toilet paper on his cut face, only he doesn’t tare it off of the roll so when he stumbles out he has a rather long trail following him. He notices it and lets out a sigh, then tells Jesus that what he really wants for Christmas is his sight back. He then adds he’d like a wrench set too, but that’s more for Santa. Gary witnesses the whole ordeal and has a rather sad expression on his face.

That poor tree is unaware of the danger it’s in.

Later that morning the family is celebrating both Hanukkah and Christmas. Bobby blows out the candles and everyone claps while Hank is kept in the dark over by the tree. He then takes it upon himself to do his usual task of handing out the presents. He picks up the first one and asks if anyone requested something “square” from Santa. He then tosses it in the general direction of everyone saying it’s for Bobby. Of course it’s not and Luanne sees it’s for her and tries to get it from her cousin’s grasp, but Bobby insists it’s now his. He opens it to find a nightgown and indicates he’ll enjoy wearing it when he’s older. Hank then reaches for another one and ends up pulling the tree out from under itself.

The family is then shown seated on the floor beside the repaired tree as Gary hands out the gifts he and Tilly brought. Peggy gets a book about comedians and when she shouts to Hank we see he’s seated in the corner by himself, apparently asleep, though Peggy’s yell wakes him. Gary then says they got another mink coat for Hank and he and Bobby share a laugh. Gary does apologize as he assumes the bit is getting old, suggesting this has been going on for awhile, and Hank sarcastically thanks him for turning his holiday into a Woody Allen picture. He then stands up and says he’ll wait in the truck until it’s time for Peggy to drive him to his dad’s house for Christmas dinner. As he stumbles out the door with his foam finger, Peggy assures Gary that Hank didn’t mean what he said. She then heads outside to confront him, only to find Hank with his foot stuck in a bucket. She tells him he needs to go back inside and face what he saw if he wants to get his sight back. Hank is in no mood and just replies by asking if she’s going to take him to his dad’s now.

I think most viewers expected it would come to this.

We cut to the truck on the road and Hank is relieved to be out of that house away from his mom and Gary. Naturally, this is when we find out that Peggy isn’t driving, but Gary. Hank is rightly confused when Gary responds by asking where they’re going. Hank demands he pull over so he can ride in the bed of the truck, but Gary insists he’ll be more comfortable in the cabin. He then narrates what they’re seeing as Hank gets progressively more and more agitated until he’s literally shouting “Shut up.” To Gary’s credit, none of this phases him as he’s determined to get Hank out of this funk.

The pair eventually arrive at Cotton Hill’s (Toby Huss) home in Houston. When Cotton answers the door he says “You’re late.” Hank says it’s good to hear his dad’s voice, and this time I think he’s serious since he’s probably sick of hearing Gary’s. Cotton asks if he’s still blind, and then slugs Hank in the gut for confirmation. “Either you’re still blind or slow. I’d believe both.” He turns his attention to Gary, and Hank refers to him as his driver. Gary gives Cotton his name, and Cotton reacts angrily to the name “Kasner.” At least he sounds angry, but he always does. He then says “Happy Hanukkah,” and tells Gary he served with one of his “tribe” in the pacific. He says his name was Brooklyn and asks Gary if he knows him. A bit confused, Gary says “I know a Brooks….stein,” which is good enough for Cotton who insists that’s the guy!

Cotton tells Hank they need to go get a tree. Hank tries to place his hand on his dad’s shoulder as a guide, but Cotton rebuffs him, “I didn’t fight off a horny bunker full of privates so you could cop a feel!” They aren’t going far anyway, as Cotton just grabs his shotgun and shoots down a skinny little tree in his yard.

Old shin-less Cotton is one of the show’s funniest characters. The writing is good, but what really makes him work is the performance of voice actor, Toby Huss.

Inside, Hank and Cotton are eating what looks like TV dinners. Hank is trying to talk about the holidays in a nostalgic manner, but no one cares. Cotton instead tries to make small talk with Gary, which is how he finds out that Gary is seeing Tilly. Cotton is surprised to find out anyone would want Tilly in a sexual manner, remarking she was too old for him when he got rid of her. He thinks he’s being helpful by telling Gary she’s spent, but Gary stands up for his woman and insists he doesn’t talk about her like that under penalty of getting his ass kicked! Cotton may be a piece of shit, but he has an odd moral code about him. He respects Gary for standing up for his woman and announces he’s backing down from a physical confrontation, though he does slip in a “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Gary then tells Hank he’ll wait for him in the truck.

Gary is shown in the truck as Hank stumbles out the front door. He gets out of the truck to help Hank to the passenger side door and tells him he didn’t have to leave early on his account. As the two pause to hear Cotton screaming for his eggnog, Hank sighs and says, “No problem.”

I can’t get enough of Hank’s blind eyes.

The two pull off the highway and Hank remarks they can’t be home yet. Gary says he’s taking him somewhere to get his eyes fixed. Hank tells him he’s already seen a doctor, but Gary corrects him by saying they aren’t talking medicine, they’re talking faith. Hank gets uncomfortable as Gary leads him into a building, worried his god will be angry with him if he sees him in another god’s temple. Gary tells him he’s not taking him to a temple, and if you haven’t figured it out yet, they’re seeing the televangelist Hank insisted hosted his favorite show. Gary confesses he knows how Hank lost his sight, and while he’s not flattered that he made Hank go blind, he’s understanding. Hank then finally realizes where they are when he hears the preacher’s voice.

Who wouldn’t want to spend Christmas here?

The preacher (uncredited, but it sounds like Toby Huss) is giving a sermon about Jesus working on his birthday as he surveys the crowd. Hank, even though he doesn’t actually like this church, is touched that Gary would do something nice for him, even though he’s been a jerk to Gary. Gary tells Hank he did it for his mother, because he’s fond of her. Hank then allows himself to suggest maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world for his mom to be involved with Gary. Gary gets a big, dopey, grin at the sound of that and poor Hank can’t see the incoming hug until it’s too late. He reacts with his usual gasp. He then returns the hug, though only one-handed.

The blindness fades, and old Gary comes into view.

The preacher continues his sermon and states that Jesus can heal the blind. Gary calls out to him to heal Hank and the guy saunters on over. When he asks Gary if Hank is his son, we get the sappy, predictable, “I’d like to think, maybe one day,” and Hank returns the gesture with a slightly less enthusiastic, but still mostly warm “I guess that’s an all right way of thinking.” Then, just like magic, Hank’s vision returns and he even smiles when Gary comes into focus as the priest winds up to smack the blindness away. Hank catches him by the wrist and proclaims he can see! The preacher of course takes all of the credit.

Bill never stood a chance.

As Hank and Gary pull up to Hank’s house, the boys are waiting outside. Dale calls out, “Hey Hank, how’s the weather? Oh wait, you’re blind!” continuing their poor performance in shit-slinging. Bill adds a “Hey Hank, you’re not wearing any pants.” As the two chuckle, Boomhauer is the only one to take notice of Hank emerging from the pickup with a rather large stick in his hand. “He’s got his sight, man, run!” The three scatter as Hank chases after them, easily shoving Bill to the ground, as the credits roll to an instrumental, twangy, rendition of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” We’re then treated to an additional scene during the credits in which Hank declares this the best Christmas ever. It’s mostly a vehicle though for Carl Reiner to make food munching noises as Gary gives Bobby advice on how to mix foods and reasons it’s okay for him to eat so much since it’s Christmas. The last line is the cliché “Are you gonna eat that?” from Gary.

The logical ending.

This is an entertaining Christmas special, and it even throws in some genuine sentimentality to please the Christmas traditionalists out there. I like how the episode tries to setup its southern cast for a bigoted, anti-Semitic, reaction on a few occasions, but instead uses dramatic pauses to make a different joke each time. Bobby mistaking Gary’s Jewish-isms as “Arizona Speech” is also pretty funny, and as a B-plot it only exists for a couple of quick jokes and isn’t meant to steal the spotlight from the main plot.

And the main plot of Hank losing his sight due to seeing his mother getting nailed on his kitchen table is a pretty damn funny way to go about telling a Christmas story. A lot of Hank’s reactions to the actual business are rather predictable, but Mike Judge’s performance as Hank is still so humorous and straight that it works. I was surprised by how far the animators took that particular scene as it’s almost gratuitous, but it also adds to both the humor and the horror for Hank. Gary is a character that’s easy to write since he’s basically a stereotype, but Carl Reiner brings a genuine warmth to him which helps sell it. Admittedly though, I’m a little tired of Gary by the time this thing ends. And to top it off, we get a little dose of Cotton in this one too. He is repulsively funny, and his brief appearance might be the funniest sequence of the episode, outside of the sex scene.

I do enjoy those exterior Christmas shots.

Ultimately, this is a funny Christmas episode of a well-made sitcom. It wisely doesn’t try to force the other characters into the plot in any meaningful way preferring to keep the story focused on Hank and his predicament. It’s a good enough episode that I’m a bit remorseful that Cartoon Network no longer airs King of the Hill. The show does air on some cable networks, but the easiest way to see this episode is to stream it on Hulu. It’s also available on DVD, and unlike yesterday’s Christmas feature, it is worth a watch this holiday season.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 12 – Teen Titans Go! – “Halloween vs. Christmas”

  It’s a battle for the hearts of children around the world! What is the superior holiday:  Halloween or Christmas? Today’s entrant is founded on the premise that Halloween is the only holiday to rival Christmas as far as what children look forward to most. This feels more or less on point as a kid…

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Dec. 12 – The Futurama Holiday Spectacular

Back before the advent of home video, when a show aired you either saw it or you didn’t. Miss something all of your friends were talking about the next day and you were at the whim of re-runs until your favorite show hit syndication – if it hit syndication. When VCRs were popularized you had…

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#18 – Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas

beavis-and-butthead-do-christmas-1

Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas (1995)

Apparently, I knew I would be making such a list last year because I got ahead of myself and did a full write-up for my #18 Christmas special, Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas. You can check it out here. As a result, I have little to add to what I wrote last year.

Because I feel the need to write something, I’ll just add that Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas holds up way better than it has any right to. The moronic duo probably should have only worked in the 90’s but they’re still hilarious even today. And even though this special goes the route of parodying the two most over-adapted Christmas stories of all-time (A Christmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life), the special works because they adapt them in a way that had never really been done before (the only comparison I can think of is the Married… with Children episode “It’s a Bundyful Life”). Like some of the other specials on this list, Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas is unlikely to be shown on television this season so you’ll have to resort to other means in order to view it.


Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas

Beavis and Butt-head Do Christmas (1995)

Beavis and Butt-head Do Christmas (1995)

Last year, I posted about the many Christmas specials featured in the animated series South Park. Well, before South Park came Beavis and Butt-head: the subversive, moronic duo who entertained millions during the 1990s on MTV. Created by Mike Judge, who’s now probably more famous for King of the Hill and Office Space, Beavis and Butt-head were basically a rip on the MTV generation. They were dim, violence obsessed, and wasted away their lives in front of the television watching music videos and eating nachos. Despite the fact that the two were clearly presented as losers on their own show, kids liked to emulate them and if the duo approved of a band or video on MTV it offered a credibility boost to said band. Every rock and metal act wanted to be endorsed by Beavis and Butt-head, because it’s what the kids were into at the time.

Beavis and Butt-head embrace the holiday spirit. Kind of.

Beavis and Butt-head embrace the holiday spirit. Kind of.

Beavis and Butt-head first debuted with “Frog Baseball” on MTV’s Liquid Television block. It was so successful that it was spun-off into its own show which ran from 1993 until 1997 with a brief one season return in 2011. Along the way there was also a feature-length movie, television specials, and a spin-off called Daria. A few years ago, I made an entry of what I considered essential Christmas viewing and among the many movies and specials was Beavis and Butt-head Do Christmas. Well here’s a full write-up on the special from 1995.

Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas refers to two shorts with other holiday content woven in. Do Christmas has been released on DVD and VHS though is likely out of print at this point. The two shorts are parodies of classic Christmas stories/movies that should be obvious just by reading the titles of the two cartoons: “Huh-Huh Humbug” and “It’s a Miserable Life.” First stars Beavis and the second Butt-head and are roughly 12 minutes a piece. This was one of the few episodes of Beavis and Butt-head that didn’t have any music videos (a prior Christmas special for the show featured nothing but the two riffing on Christmas videos) but is still pretty hilarious, nonetheless.

In "Huh-Huh-Humbug," Beavis just wants to enjoy a porno but various ghost won't let him.

In “Huh-Huh-Humbug,” Beavis just wants to enjoy a porno but various ghost won’t let him.

“Huh-Huh-Humbug” puts Beavis in the role of Scrooge only he’s more of an idealized version Beavis sees of himself as opposed to a truly financially successful human being. The cartoon opens with Beavis squishing a rat on the grill at Burger World on Christmas when his boss comes over to admonish him for his lack of ambition and to brag about his position of assistant manager of a fast food restaurant. Beavis soon falls asleep on the job and dreams he is the manager of Burger World who gets to boss around Butt-head and Principal McVicker and make them work on Christmas while he goes home to watch a porno and jerk-off. When Beavis settles in to watch his porno, the various ghosts from A Christmas Carol start interrupting him beginning with Butt-head playing the role of Marley. The other ghosts admonish Beavis and point out how awful he treats McVickers, to which Beavis shows no empathy. He even disagrees with the Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come’s version of the future, instead choosing to imagine himself as a Terminator-like robot laying waste to the customers of Burger World.

A horrible future, indeed.

A horrible future, indeed.

The cartoon works because there’s no attempt to show one worthwhile quality within Beavis. He’s a selfish, stupid, person who is incapable of any kind of empathy. To add to the humor, there’s a lot of one-liners and the porno Beavis watches (also a parody of A Christmas Carol) is a great source for gags.

The second cartoon, “It’s a Miserable Life” stars Butt-head, but like the prior one, still features plenty of Beavis too. The twist on this parody is that the guardian angel for Beavis and Butt-head is sent to kill the two after God received numerous requests to make them disappear. The Clarence character here first tries to simply kill the two by freezing a bridge they’re walking on in hopes the two will slip and fall to their deaths. When that fails, he opts to show Butt-head what the world would be like if he never existed and how much better off people would be. Naturally, without Butt-head everyone is a lot happier and more successful. Bevies, in particular, is best friends with the dorky Stuart and volunteers at the soup kitchen on Christmas. After seeing all of this, Butt-head just gets pissed off and he and Beavis just determine that the world sucks, but would suck even more without them. The guardian angel tries to kill them again, but just ends up killing himself by accident.

Once again, the cartoon works by not resorting to any kind of Christmas sentimentality at all. Butt-head is portrayed as a parasite on society who refuses to embrace anything remotely “good.” It’s amusing to see the Butt-head-less world, but it’s more amusing to see Butt-head’s reaction to it. “Huh-Huh-Humbug” is probably my favorite of the two, but they’re both entertaining and pretty much for the same reasons.

Butt-head's guardian angel isn't here to help him, he's here to kill him.

Butt-head’s guardian angel isn’t here to help him, he’s here to kill him.

In between the specials we’re also tested to the Ask Santa Butt-head segments and a scene of a burning Yule log that the two riff over in place of music videos. The Santa Butt-head segments feature the duo playing Santa and reindeer, with Butt-head as Santa and Beavis the reindeer. Butt-head reads fan letters, with most of them being from women who want to have carnal relations with Beavis. Butt-head doesn’t understand this and refuses to give Beavis the letters. Since he’s roped up to the sleigh in his reindeer costume, there’s little he can do about it. When a letter-writer requests Butt-head kick Beavis’ ass, he’s happy to oblige by whipping the day-lights out of him. These segments are brief but do bring about a good amount of laughs with the two staying true to their characters even while playing other characters.

Beavis and Butt-head Do Christmas is not your typical holiday special. There’s no holiday cheer, unless you consider any amount of laughter brought on by a Christmas special a form of holiday cheer. It’s mean-spirited, low-brow, but also full of good satire that will make most people who remember the 90’s laugh often and frequently. Beavis and Butt-head are dumb, but the humor really isn’t which some people failed to “get.” I’ve always felt they were underrated in that regard, and perhaps South Park would end up better combining toilet humor with biting satire, but it doesn’t diminish what Mike Judge did with Beavis and Butt-head beforehand.


Essential Halloween Viewing

When it comes to holiday themed television specials and films, Christmas leads the way with its countless amount. Coming in second is likely Halloween. Unlike Christmas, there usually isn’t some serious undercurrent to Halloween specials. It also feels less sinister when it comes to marketing, even though there’s certainly lots of money to be made off of Halloween by costume and candy suppliers. For the most part, Halloween is just fun and it’s emphasis on scares helps to distinguish it from other holidays. Like many people, I enjoy a good Halloween special whenever the season rolls around, but with so many out there it can be hard to make time for them all in what amounts to only a month. There are some modern ones out there, like the entertaining Toy Story of Terror, but for the most part I like to watch the specials I watched as a kid. Without further adieu, here’s The Nostalgia Spot’s Halloween viewing guide.

Mickey Mouse in “Lonesome Ghosts”

220px-Lonesome_GhostsHere’s an oldie from way back in 1937, something that would have entertained my adolescent grandfather. Since I only discovered it a few years back, it’s not exactly something I remember from my childhood but certainly fits the theme of this blog. In this cartoon, professional ghost exterminators Mickey, Donald, and Goofy investigate paranormal activities in an old house. The twist is that the trio were hired by the ghosts themselves because no one ever enters their haunted house anymore and they’re just plain bored. Less creepy than it is humorous, it’s mostly a slapstick affair as the ghosts play tricks on their would-be exterminators. It’s an entertaining short, and one can’t help but wonder if it maybe partly inspired Ghostbuster, or at least the theme song, especially when Goofy declares, “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!” The short has been shown on television numerous times over the years as part of Halloween specials. It was also re-released to theaters in the 1960’s and has been released on VHS and DVD as well. The easiest way to see it these days is probably youtube.

Donald Duck in “Trick or Treat”

By the late 40’s and into the 1950’s, Donald Duck was basically the only classic Disney character still receiving new short films. There just wasn’t much money in the format anymore and the budget for each short was scaled back considerably. For the 1952 short “Trick or Treat,” Disney decided to increase the budget to give Donald a proper Halloween special. It has its own theme song and the animation is quite nicely done in comparison with other shorts from around that time. In this one, Donald’s nephews Huey, Duey, and Louie are out trick or treating and come upon their uncle’s house. When the boys knock on his door and request their tricks or treats, Donald (not surprisingly) elects trick. A witch, Witch Hazel, passing by happens to see this and decides to help the boys get their treats out of Donald. Apparently, the Halloween spirit does not include the tricks portion of the ages old phrase. Hazel uses her magic on Donald and a lot of physical comedy follows. Like “Lonesome Ghosts,” this one has been released on VHS and DVD over the years either on Halloween compilations or as a bonus feature with certain films. There’s a chance it could pop up on one of the Disney channels this Halloween, but if you want to see it better head to youtube.

The Real Ghostbusters – “When Halloween Was Forever”

Samhain, the spirit of Halloween!

Samhain, the spirit of Halloween!

A cartoon that centers around four guys (and a ghost) who hunt down paranormal creatures naturally lends itself well to Halloween. Pretty much any episode could qualify for such a holiday, but the episode “When Halloween Was Forever” happens to deal with the holiday directly. This episode features the ghost Samhain, the spirit of Halloween, who decides to freeze time on Halloween night so that it lasts forever. Since Halloween is said to be derived from the Pagan holiday Samhain, it’s a nice touch to name the ghost after it. The Real Ghostbusters was a DIC production and if you’re familiar with any of their cartoons from the 80’s then you likely know what to expect out of the audio and animation. It’s standard for the era, with the soundtrack being appropriately spooky. While no episode of this cartoon can come close to matching the film it was based on, it’s actually not a bad show and time has been far kinder to it than it has the more popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Ren & Stimpy – “Haunted House”

The premise for this one is conventional, Ren and Stimpy stumble upon a creepy looking house and, in need of shelter for the night, decide to head inside. Unbeknownst to them, the house is haunted and a malicious ghost lurks inside who can’t wait to scare them. The twist here is that Ren and Stimpy are seemingly in on the joke as they break the fourth wall and end up impervious to the ghost’s efforts. This naturally frustrates the ghost, to the point that he becomes depressed and suicidal (apparently, ghosts can “die” in Ren and Stimpy’s world). Highlights of the episode include a Psycho shower-scene parody and the previously mentioned fourth-wall breaking remarks (“This looks like a good place to kill 12 minutes!”). There’s also the usual random humor found in a Ren and Stimpy short that people either find amusing or stupid. This one is unlikely to show up on television so anyone looking to watch it will either have to pick it up on DVD or turn to the internet. Be warned, the version found on the official Ren & Stimpy Volume 1 is censored with the Bloody Head Fairy bit removed completely. Apparently it was considered too gruesome after the fact.

Beavis and Butt-Head – “Bungholio:  Lord of the Harvest”

Beavis and Butt-Head on a quest for candy.

Beavis and Butt-Head on a quest for candy.

Sometimes referred to as “Buttoween,” this episode features everyone’s favorite dim-witted duo as they go trick or treating in search of free candy. Since they weren’t even aware Halloween was coming until trick or treaters showed up at their house, the two do not have costumes so Butt-Head covers his head in cheese sauce (“I’m nachos.”) while Beavis wears his underwear on his head (“I’m a nad!”). Beavis eventually has too much sugar and his alter-ego, The Great Cornholio, shows itself. The two soon find themselves on a farm ripped right from a slasher film. Most of the humor comes from watching the two try and get some candy in the first part of the episode, while the second part puts the two in an obvious bad situation that they’re apparently oblivious to. The animation is pretty terrible, but anyone who has seen an episode of Beavis and Butt-Head before should already be aware of this. It’s stupid humor, but it is pretty funny. You either like it or you don’t.

South Park – “Pinkeye”

South Park is more known for its numerous Christmas specials, but early seasons often featured other holiday themed episodes. The first season episode, “Pinkeye,” remains the show’s top Halloween special. In this one, a mishap with worcestershire sauce causes a dead Kenny to turned into a zombie. Kenny, as patient zero, spreads a zombie plague all through-out South Park that a clueless doctor mistakes as a severe case of pinkeye. It’s up to Chef and the boys to put a stop to the zombie menace so they can go trick or treating and get some candy. The episode includes some notable gags such as Cartman’s mom on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine and a memorable parody of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” It also features Cartman’s attempt to find a non-offensive Halloween costume.

The Simpsons – “Treehouse of Horror V”

Treehouse of Horror V is best-remembered for its parody of Stephen King's "The Shining."

Treehouse of Horror V is best-remembered for its parody of Stephen King’s “The Shining.”

The Simpsons Halloween special, Treehouse of Horror, has become an annual tradition. With 24 to choose from, some may consider it a daunting task to select only one. As is the case with most things “Simpsons,” the earlier episodes are usually considered the better, and for me, it came down to a choice between Treehouse of Horror II and V. V is just slightly stronger and a little more horror-themed than the more sci-fi II. Treehouse of Horror V features parodies of The Shining, The Sound of Thunder, and Soylent Green. In the first segment, “The Shinning,” the Simpsons are basically dropped into the plot of its source material and includes the memorable line “No beer and no TV make Homer go something, something.” The second segment, “Time and Punishment,” puts a time-traveling toaster in Homer’s hands resulting in Homer unintentionally creating a new present time ruled by Flanders. The third segment, “Nightmare Cafeteria,” has Principal Skinner resort to cannibalism of the student body to cope with budget cuts at Springfield Elementary. If a Treehouse of Horror is able to hit on two out of three, it’s generally considered a good iteration of the venerable television special, but Treehouse of Horror V is the rare one where all three are pretty entertaining. With The Simpsons now being featured on the FXX channel, hopefully a Treehouse of Horror marathon is in the near future. The 25th version of the special is set to air tonight.