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Dec. 24 – Animaniacs (2020) – “How the Brain Thieved Christmas,” “Santamaniacs”

Original air date February 17, 2023.

It feels like, at this point in time, we have hit peek 90s nostalgia. I can recall when it felt like 70s nostalgia hit pretty hard and then the 80s arrived not too far after. It’s inevitable whenever a generation that spent much of their adolescence in a given decade hits adulthood. And by adulthood I mean post-grad, rank and file, done with my 20s, sort of adults. They’re usually folks with some disposable income to spend on things that take them back or they’re willing to just sink time into old TV shows. And that’s where a lot of nostalgia used to reside. Programming blocks like Nick at Nite would literally air old television shows its target audience likely enjoyed when they were younger and a whole bunch of small television stations picked up similar shows to fill their programming schedules. Now, with an abundance of television and streaming platforms, the same still takes place, but now more than ever it seems companies are turning to new content with old IPs and that’s fueled a different kind of nostalgia-boom for 90s kids.

Netflix is partly credited (blamed?) for this rise in nostalgic programming as when the platform pivoted from DVD on-demand to streamer it needed a lot more content to pad things out. And when the network found certain things were popular, it was used as a springboard into new content. That is how we ended up with a brand new Animaniacs in 2020. The old episodes were popular enough on Netflix that it convinced Steven Spielberg and Warner Bros. to explore bringing the show back. Either Netflix wasn’t interested, or they were simply outbid, because the show would come back as Hulu’s first original programming for families. The funny thing is, when Hulu made that announcement way back in 2018, a large portion of the company was owned by 20th Century Fox. Fox would famously sell that entire sect of its business to Disney in the ensuing years giving the company majority ownership of Hulu making it a de-facto Disney+ for broader audiences (and they’ll apparently be merging in 2024). Suddenly, Disney was financing a Warner cartoon, and for animation nerds that was kind of amusing. And not only was a new version of Animaniacs bound for the platform, the legacy Warner cartoons were added to Hulu where they resided for a few years before the agreement eventually expired.

I thought we weren’t going to get a Christmas special out of the reboot, but thankfully I was wrong.

Now, if you’re a regular reader of this countdown, you may be thinking “Didn’t we already do Animaniacs this year?” We did, back on the 3rd, but the recent shakeups with Warner have made me a bit uneasy. Since those classic cartoons were dropped from Hulu they’ve failed to show up elsewhere. HBO Max has become just Max and it’s been dropping shows left and right. I don’t know how long Hulu has the Animaniacs reboot for, but I assume it’s not indefinitely. Once it’s removed from Hulu it may be gone for awhile, maybe even forever. Do I want to chance that Animaniacs (2020) will be around next year? Nope, so I figured we might as well double-up on the brand this year. And since we did look at the first iteration of the show early in the countdown, it feels like a nice bookend to come back to it on Christmas Eve. Plus, this episode is more of a Pinky and the Brain episode that feels like an unofficial sequel to the fantastic A Pinky and the Brain Christmas. In short – who cares? This is worth looking at in 2023 just as it would be in any year.

The new Animaniacs is a lot like the old Animaniacs except only five of these characters came back.

If you haven’t caught up on this new version of Animaniacs, it’s essentially the same as the old, just slimmer. The original Animaniacs was an ensemble and much of that ensemble has been left in the 90s. Some of that makes sense – do we really need a Goodfellas parody or a Rainman one in 2023? Probably not. On the other hand, a character like Slappy Squirrel, who was basically a retired Golden Age character in the original show, could have worked in this show as well, but she wasn’t returned. Imagine if she had been updated to be a retired 90s toon? Or better yet, Slappy got older, but now Skippy was a 90s toon out of his era? At any rate, outside of some cameos basically the only characters brought back were the Warner siblings and Pinky and the Brain. There were a few new segments added, the most prominent being Starbox and Cindy, but that one was limited to only 5 segments across 36 episodes and was still the most frequent outside of the returning characters. Also not returning is series creator Tom Ruegger. No reason was given for it, it seems he just wasn’t asked to come back. I get the sense that Spielberg and others at the company viewed their involvement as the most important essentially slighting Ruegger in the process, be it intentionally or not. He was asked to contribute as a writer, but he turned it down claiming it felt like he was auditioning for the show he created.

Ruegger may not have come back, but the original voice cast did. Which was definitely the right move as it’s hard to imagine Yakko, Wakko, and Dot being voiced by anyone other than Rob Paulsen, Jess Harnell, and Tress MacNeille, respectively. Maurice LaMarche also returns as Brain. And I’m happy to say, that despite the 30 year lay-off, everyone sounds pretty damn great. Paulsen is a wonder as a voice actor as he’s seemingly ageless. I wasn’t surprised his Yakko sounded basically unchanged, but was floored by how he can still handle the manic Pinky with apparent ease. Harnell sounds largely the same as Wakko, while LaMarche will probably be able to execute his Orson Welles impersonation flawlessly from his deathbed. The only one who sounds different is MacNeille, but she also had the hardest task voicing the very high pitched Dot. She seems to play Dot with more of a low voice that’s closer to her natural speaking voice. Sometimes Dot would go low for emphasis in the original run, but she mostly stayed pretty high. Now, it’s more like the opposite and it’s most noticeable with the singing portions. I’m not blaming the actress for getting older or anything, it’s just something that’s likely to stand out for those who watched the show in the 90s.

These three at least came back basically unchanged.

The penultimate episode for the series is the one devoted to Christmas. Hulu originally ordered a batch of 26 episodes spread over two seasons which began airing in November of 2020. A second order was then placed for a 10 episode third season which is apparently the end for Animaniacs. A lot of these direct-to-streaming shows seem to include a Christmas episode, so I was a little surprised (and disappointed) when the first two seasons did not feature one, but at least we had the third season to pick us up. Though it did arrive in the unseasonable month of February meaning a lot of viewers have probably used this holiday season as an excuse to watch it for the first time or revisit it. The other two seasons dropped in November which would have made so much more sense. And one of them featured a Halloween episode after Halloween. Go figure.

The show begins with its version of the classic Animaniacs opening. The song is almost unchanged, but it was re-recorded by the voice actors for this one. Some lyrics have been altered, most notably Dot is no longer defined by cuteness but by her wit, they’re gender-balanced, pronoun neutral, and their careers have made comebacks! And in keeping with the holiday tradition, there’s snow falling over the opening and there’s some subtle chimes added as well. The animation is obviously no longer ink and paint, but what they created looks pretty good. This is probably as good as Animaniacs could possibly look in 2023, and the character designs are basically unchanged. They’re a little less rounded, the Warner faces are slightly off-white instead of pure white, and that’s pretty much it. For you kids reading this, these basically are your father’s Animaniacs. Credit goes to Titmouse, Inc. for making the show look as good as it does.

It’s tough to be a mouse.

After Dot discovers she’s getting “Socks a-gainy,” we go right from the title into the title card of the first segment: How the Brain Thieved Christmas. It’s obviously a Pinky and the Brain segment and basing the title off of the best Christmas special is definitely a promising start. We forego the usual Pinky and the Brain opening and jump straight into the plot. At Acme Labs, a holiday party is underway and all of the researchers are singing “Deck the Halls” and getting toasted on eggnog. The Brain is soon seen lurking behind the water cooler and he whips out a grappling hook and pulls himself towards the door to the lab and a sleeping security guard. The door is locked with a palm reader, and Brain has to struggle to lift the guard’s hand up to the scanner. When he realizes he can’t do so without assistance, he calls out “Who wants eggnog?” and the sleepy guard raises his hand in the affirmative allowing Brain to slap it on the palm reader granting him access to whatever is hidden inside.

This is going well. Too well…

As Brain enters a long corridor, we see another researcher show up in the background and promptly pass out. Clearly, by making this show direct-to-streaming it allowed them to bypass the usual censors that probably would not have allowed for such flagrant drunkenness to exist in a kid’s show. Brain makes his way to a pedestal containing some form of anti-matter that he desires. It’s basically a small, floating, ball of light and he apparently needs to extract it from its confines in a very delicate manner to avoid total annihilation. He plays it up for dramatic effect, but seals the ball in a jar with relative ease.

That Pinky, always fouling things up for The Brain!

As Brain stands and basks in his success, he ponders aloud why something hasn’t suddenly startled him to foil his plans as so often happens? On cue, Pinky emerges from basically out of no where singing very loudly his own version of “Deck the Halls,” “Check the stalls for hanky-panky. Narf-narf-narf-narf-narf, narf-narf-narf-poit!” Again, more stuff the Fox censors definitely wouldn’t have allowed. Pinky does indeed startle Brain with his singing thus causing him to drop his jar and spoil his plans for world conquest once again. Brain is understandable angry, but as he tries to articulate what Pinky has just done he fails to grasp at the words he’s looking for because Pinky (and the other lab denizens) have started singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas” which is essentially breaking Brain’s brain.

This meltdown by Brain should have probably happened long ago.

All of this leads Brain to the conclusion that Christmas is an obstacle for his ambition, and when he asks Pinky the question, “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” Pinky gets to come back with “Yes, but where I’m going to get you – FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!…in this economy?” Brain has to correct him and inform Pinky that he must thieve Christmas, and we have our plot. I was sort of wondering how stealing Christmas was going to factor into Brain’s larger goal of global domination, and now we have our answer. We’re basically taking a night off from the usual in order to setup another quest for conquest that will have to wait until Boxing Day, at the earliest.

According to Brain, these are the best Christmas toys of all time.

We next find Brain and Pinky back in their usual spot in the lab where Pinky is enjoying a thimble full of popcorn while Brain details his plan. In order to steal Christmas, Brain intends to create a toy so popular that it will end up under every Christmas tree. On Christmas Eve, he will activate the toys which will then steal all of the presents under the tree and bring them to he where they will be destroyed. The obstacle before them is how to create a toy of such popularity? Brain then decides he must examine the most popular toys of all time: the Slinky, Silly Putty, the yo-yo, hula hoop and the fidget spinner. As he runs them all down, he demonstrates their simplicity and most also harm him in some way in the process.

This is unlikely to end well for Brain.

Brain concludes that all of these toys share three things in common: they are simple, pointless, and incredibly irritating. I’m not sure I agree on the irritating thing as I can think of a lot of toys far more irritating than these, but we’ll go with it as it leads him to the next plot point. As Brain ponders what embodies those three attributes, Pinky continues to eat his popcorn but in a very loud, irritating, manner. As Brain paces back and forth trying to devise a toy that includes all of the features he identified, he grows more and more frustrated with Pinky before eventually shouting at him to chew with his mouth closed! Pinky then chokes, gags, and spits out the popcorn in his mouth all over Brain. Brain is about to blow a gasket when he has his eureka moment and declares that Pinky is by far the most simple, pointless, and irritating thing in all existence! Pinky thinks this is a compliment and Brain gets right into the design phase of his toy.

Pinky is one confident mouse, despite what he hears from Brain.

Now, I had mentioned this episode felt a bit like a sequel to A Pinky and the Brain Christmas and this is partly why. In that episode, Brain created a doll that looked like him that was supposed to hypnotize the world into viewing him as its leader. This time, Brain is creating a Pinky doll that he’s hoping will carry out his plan. We head into a bit of a musical number featuring Brain designing the toy. It’s a bit of a pseudo-montage as the characters are going to pause to speak and make jokes during this otherwise quick passage of time. Brain is first shown drawing the toy, but has to scold Pinky for posing too seductively. We’ll also see Brain working at a sewing machine, much like the Grinch did before him, but instead of catching Pinky’s tail in the device, he picks up a ratty looking garment and discovers that Pinky is chewing on his finished work. We also get to see Brain inspecting his handiwork, but he’s irate when he finds the Pinky doll he designed has the body of a world class body builder. Pinky was apparently in charge of inserting the stuffing and Brain demands he “De-swolify” the doll immediately causing Pinky to lament “Hot Mouse Summer ended before it even started.” Pinky has become quite the sexual being in this reboot of the show.

This show has always been willing to get meta.

Brain then moves onto the programming stage. He beams the program over a modem to the first doll and tests it by asking him the fateful question, “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” The doll returns with a “I think so, Brain, but perhaps try Javascript for my base code?” causing Brain to conclude, “Too smart.” He then makes a modification and the Pinky doll responds with, “I think so Brain, but if we evolved from monkeys how can there still be monkeys?” This is apparently too stupid and Brain gives it another try, “I think so, Brain, but didn’t we already do a Christmas-based plot in the Emmy Award-winning special A Pinky and the Brain Christmas?” Brain looks at the camera and concludes, “Too meta” following that one. And there’s the acknowledgement I needed.

At long last, the perfect plan to steal Christmas is upon us!

Frustrated and out of options, Brain unplugs the doll and does something he never expected to do: call for Pinky’s help. Pinky does as he’s told and we soon find him getting plugged into some sort of brain scanning device. Brain tells Pinky to prepare for a long, arduous, process as scanning a rodent’s brain can take months, but before he can even finish his sentence the computer beeps to indicate it’s done. Chalking that one up as a “freebie,” Brain uploads the scan of Pinky’s brain to the doll and asks it once again what he’s pondering. Both Pinky and the Pinky doll come back in unison with, “I think so, Brain, but if love is all we need then why do I still have to go to the bathroom?” Brain smiles a somewhat menacing grin and simply responds with “Yes, why indeed?” as he launches into a fit of maniacal laughter complete with lightning strikes in the background. Pinky then claims he “gets it” and starts laughing too and is soon joined by his duplicate. Brain can only stare dumbfounded so he unplugs the doll from the computer which shuts it down. Pinky looks at it a moment, then agrees that this is a good idea as Santa won’t come if they’re awake. He then wraps himself in the power cord and puts himself to sleep. Brain saunters over and declares they have a Christmas to thieve as he grabs Pinky by the snout and drags him off somewhere. We close with an iris shot of the deactivated doll ending part one of this two part story.

It’s not uncommon for a Christmas show to feature an extra long segment, but it is a bit uncommon to break it up with an intermission.

The show is going to take a break from the main plot with what could basically be described as an intermission. “Santamaniacs” is a lot like the Christmas special we looked at earlier this year. It’s a parody of A Visit from Saint Nicholas/‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and uses a narrator (Lesley Nicol) who informs us it’s the day before Christmas at the WB lot. Everyone is working because the company slashed vacation days in a bid to raise productivity. There’s not much to detail as the narrator admits it’s all boring, so we pivot to see what’s going on in the Warner Tower. There we find the Warner siblings all a snooze in their bed…at quarter past 1 in the afternoon. Yakko interrupts the narrator to explain that they’re trying to sleep as much as possible so that Christmas Day arrives faster. The narrator offers to whisper to accommodate their sleeping and Dot pops up to indicate that’s fine as long as she doesn’t get “too ASMR” with it.

Wakko sleeping with a slice of pizza is a life goal for me.

The clock then moves faster to indicate the rapid passage of time and we find the Warners waking up at the dark and early time of 2:23 AM. They spring from their beds to find…nothing under the tree. Wakko is confused as he confesses they’ve been naughty before and always got presents. Yakko adds they’ve been exceptionally less naughty of late due to the disappearance of Hello Nurse and Minerva Mink. He holds up 8x10s of both for emphasis (they weren’t brought back for this series). Dot grabs the pictures and crumples them up indicating she knows what they must do now. Wakko tries to finish her thought by suggesting they need to learn that the true meaning of Christmas isn’t presents, but love, generosity, and good will to all. Yakko and Dot stare at each other a moment with confused expressions before all three Warner siblings collapse in a fit of laughter indicating that Wakko’s suggestion is preposterous and meant as a joke. Dot then decides to get serious and informs her brothers that they’re going to go annoy Santa until he gives them presents.

No toys under your tree? Thankfully, the Warners are on it!

Stuffing themselves into an envelope, the Warners mail themselves to the North Pole with tremendous speed and arrive at Santa’s work shop. There they find a mailbox overflowing with letters that are apparently being ignored. They knock on the door of the home and a gruff voice inside tells them to go away unless they’re the mailman with his reindeer wee-wee pads. Dot wonders what’s stuck up his chimney as the three peer in to investigate. There they find a Santa (John DiMaggio) that’s absolutely jacked and downing peppermint whey protein shakes to generic sounding heavy metal music. The room is being heated by burning Christmas letters, but as Santa sits down to read from an old man magazine, he soon finds himself accosted by the relentless Warner siblings.

That is not a body that eats nothing but milk and cookies.

They go through a “better not pout,” routine ending with Dot asking if he wants to tell them why he’s about to cry? He relents and tells them he’s basically depressed because for centuries he puts in all of this work, but gets nothing but complaints in return. He dumps a bag of letters on the Warners for emphasis as he rattles off some of the complaints he gets. When Dot points out they’re just the complaints of dumb, entitled, kids he responds with “That last one was from you!” He’s done, but when Wakko asks who is going to deliver all of those presents (an elf peeking from behind the door to the work shop proper closes it in a creepy sort of way) the big man just mutters “I don’t know. Why don’t you do it?”

He must go through lots of reindeer.

The Warners look at themselves for a second and then Yakko decides to use this opportunity to launch into a song. The premise of which is that without Santa’s magic they couldn’t possibly hope to accomplish what he does in a single night. Yakko, through song, points out how long it would take to travel around the world and points out they’d need to move at 12 miles per second which would obliterate the reindeer’s bodies in the process. As he sings, he loads Santa into a sleigh and they all fly as the lead reindeer’s nose catches fire. There’s only five reindeer, which is a damn shame.

Now that’s a body that eats mostly milk and cookies.

There’s a break in the song where Santa resumes sitting in his chair and tells the Warners that exploding reindeer is a risk he’s willing to take. We then get a callback to the wee-wee pad remark as Prancer is fixing to piss all over Santa’s tree and he has to jump up to stop him from doing so (I realize the reindeer are supposed to be female, but he was clearly about to pee like a male dog would). Wakko then takes over song duties from his brother and his portion of the song is focused on all of the milk and cookies they’d have to consume throughout the night. The end result of such a caloric intake would make them larger, and denser, than the sun and would destroy the Earth itself. That doesn’t seem possible since the milk, cookies, and the Warners have to exist at the same time to begin with and matter can neither be created nor destroyed, but I’m probably thinking about this too much.

I bet you didn’t expect to see these guys here.

Santa then concedes they may have a point, but he’s not allowed to come around just yet because Dot still has to sing her part! She hops on his lap and goes into her part which concerns trying to figure out which kids were naughty and which were nice. She concludes they would need to create a system of mass surveillance, but the load would be intense since 5 moms give birth per second in the world. She determines this whole thing would run afoul with the FBI and they’d likely wind-up with an elf version of Edward Snowden who would find asylum in Russia and the Warners would land in prison making their conclusion “We could try to do it Santa, but we’re not the NSA!” It ends with the Warners now in festive Christmas attire singing in front of a massive Christmas tree with dancing elves, presents, and agents in reindeer costumes.

They do like their big musical numbers.

The top of the tree opens up and presents start blasting out which land all around Santa standing in front of the remnants of his home. Apparently, the events of the song destroyed it at some point. Santa then asks the Warners if he agrees to deliver the presents will the three of them shut up? Yakko offers no promises, then adds they need a ride home. Santa pulls a lever causing a large pedestal to arise from the ground with his sleigh atop it. The Warners cheer and run for it as Santa drags behind them. The narrator returns to wrap the story up and in the process lets us know (through rhyme) that Prancer still needs to pee. They take to the sky and we get ourselves a Santa moon shot while an “S” searchlight shines overhead. The narrator sets Santa up for the fateful closing line of the poem, but he goes off-script with a “Happy Christmas to all and will you three stop singing?!”

Pinky loves himself some Pinky. Brain should probably give them space.

Thus ends “Santamaniacs” returning us to “How the Brain Thieved Christmas.” A massive assembly line is underway assembling Poity Pinky dolls for consumption. Pinky tries to convince Brain to let him keep one for himself, but Brain just takes the box from Pinky and chucks it down a chute while the doll, and rat, declare they’ll never forget “me.” This cuts to a news broadcast and it would appear that Brain did succeed in creating a toy that everyone wants. And it’s in such demand that the reporter (Kimberly Brooks) on TV gets jumped because she happens to be holding one of the dolls.

Brain is very Mr. Burns-like in some of these shots.

Brain is mighty pleased at what’s unfolding. He goes into his own rendition of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, which feels a bit redundant after the last segment if I’m being honest. His version is just to setup the realization that 122 million of his inventions are stirring this night ready for action. He holds a remote control to the heavens and sends out the signal, presumably to the other side of the world where Christmas has already settled under the tree. The dolls rise out of their boxes like zombies and begin stealing everything in sight to the sound of “Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairy.” One doll is spotted by a toddler, a very poor one it would seem since her tree makes Charlie Brown’s look nice, and when she asks “Santa?” it almost ruins the whole thing as the doll starts looking for the jolly, old, elf, but another blast from the remote and it resumes its mission.

The plan is working, but something has to go wrong, right?

A whole army of dolls are marching on ACME Labs and Brain is looking on with glee. He gets to parody the Grinch now with, “All those fools soundly slept while their gifts, I retrieved. Hark, Pinky! They’re about to learn Christmas is thieved!” He looks at his partner rather smugly and waits for the reception. You can probably guess how this is going to go. At a nearby tree, not unlike the one erected in Who-Ville, a little girl approaches. To the cries of people (Kari Wahlgren, Danny Jacobs) realizing Christmas was stolen, the girl begins to sing “Silent Night.” Pinky declares this to be his favorite carol while Brain looks on curiously. He opines that this could be bad if it leads to some anti-commercialism sing-a-long, but the shouts of others witnessing this act of “It’s choir or bust for me,” gives Brain some confidence that this will go no where. Of course, then the girl is joined by another – Pinky!

Brain should have foreseen this problem, it’s exactly what foiled the Grinch!

With both Pinky and the girl singing, Brain looks a bit concerned. Then he spies the Poity Pinky dolls returning and a smile spreads across his face. With the dolls there to destroy what has been thieved the singing will be rendered moot. As the dolls approach a burning furnace, they hear the singing, and since they’re all copies of Pinky, they can’t resist. Despite the protests of The Brain, the dolls all stop what they’re doing and run to join in on the sing-a-long. All Brain can do is watch as soon other people join in. His attempt at thieving Christmas went as well for him as it did for the green guy. “I stole all of their presents. I robbed them of cheer! I ruined the happiest day of the year! But now thanks to Pinky’s pig-ignorant brain, they’re caroling louder, and Christmas still came!”

I feel like we’ve been here before.

Brain starts angrily disposing of the gifts himself. As he does, he makes mention of the name on the gift and basically taunts the poor kid as he burns their desires away. He then gets to one that is to “The Brain.” Brain pauses and mutters it’s probably another mug with Pinky’s face on it, but his curiosity gets the best of him and he opens it up. It’s not, and instead Brain is shocked to find a perfectly stable particle of antimatter, the very same he destroyed at the beginning of the story. It’s a gesture that moves the mouse to tears.

Ah yes, even Brain is not impervious to the Christmas Spirit.

As the song outside builds to a climax, Brain approaches. Pinky encourages him to “Bring us home, Brain!” He seems a bit reluctant for a moment, but then belts out “Sleep in heavenly peace!” much to the delight of Pinky. The rest of the crowd seems confused, but then cheer alongside Pinky and we get a quick glimpse at a swole Pointy Pinky doll that apparently made it through production. This story isn’t over yet though as Brain needs to do as the Grinch and give back all of the presents. He pulls out his remote and activates it. A rumbling can be heard, and then a massive, robot, sleigh bursts through the walls of ACME Labs overflowing with presents. Little robot arms pop out and start tossing presents to the onlookers, some more forceful than necessary, causing Pinky to declare this the best Christmas ever! He credits that to Brain, but Brain corrects him and says it’s thanks to Pinky. As Pinky embraces Brain, it’s time for him to get his present. A taped-up box drops from the sleigh and Pinky approaches it with nervous energy. He unwraps it to find – what else? – his very own Poity Pinky doll!

Well, Brain, better luck next year.

Brain then decides to share what he’s learned this Christmas, but as he does we see the sleigh has gone haywire and people are running from it screaming. Brain starts to tell Pinky that he’s shared something with him, but the doll he just gifted Pinky bursts from the box and interrupts him causing him to drop his container of antimatter. It shatters upon the ground and is, once again, lost to Brain. The Pinky dolls all break out into song once again, and it’s the same version of “Deck the Halls” concerning hanky-panky in the bathroom. Brain looks positively dejected, but he turns it around quick. Declaring that it wouldn’t be the holidays without depression and feelings of hopelessness, he commands Pinky to return with him to the lab in preparation for tomorrow night. When Pinky and the dolls ask what they’re going to do tomorrow night, Brain responds, “The same thing we do every Boxing Day, Pinkies. Overdo it on the nog before it expires, and then try to take over the world!” Pinky and his buddy laugh as they skip along behind Brain while we get to see a legless doll crawling after them through the snow with “Happy Holidays” written in spent oil behind it.

Quite possibly the most unsettling “Happy Holidays” I’ve ever seen.

And so ends this episode of Animaniacs which is perhaps the last holiday episode any of these characters will be a part of. The third season ends with the following episode and as of right now there are no plans for a fourth. It’s likely this is the last of this version of Animaniacs and if another is to come about it’s probably far off and likely to be a true reboot with an all new cast and creative staff. And if that is the case, at least the original group had a nice send-off as the new version of the show was pretty good!

It’s Pinky. It’s Brain. It’s Christmas. It worked so well before that I’m not surprised to see them try it again.

As for this holiday episode, it’s fine, but lives in the shadow of A Pinky and the Brain Christmas. That is one of the best Christmas specials produced so it’s not like it’s a true negative for this one to not be as good. I was surprised at the similar plot though, but that was clearly intentional as a bit of an in-joke. I do think it was a mistake to have Brain once again find the Christmas spirit via a gift from Pinky. It just doesn’t land with any real emotional impact the second time around. I’m curious how it would play to someone who never saw the original special, but I’m guessing it still comes up a bit short because it just isn’t setup in a sincere fashion. We know it’s coming because we’re watching a Grinch parody so there’s no surprise here, no gut punch, no feels.

This one does deliver a moon shot, though with only five reindeer.

That doesn’t mean the special is a failure, because it most certainly is not. Instead, this one succeeds as a comedy. Just a straight-forward satirical takedown of Christmas. It doesn’t quite set its fangs into the holiday, but it pokes fun at its expense. The middle segment starring the Warners is solid, but I did think the musical number felt flat. The idea was good, and the animation that accompanied it was entertaining, but the song itself lacked the usual polish the show is known for. It lacked a fun melody and as a result the actors felt like they were just reading off a piece of paper. Were the song’s lyrics too complex? Perhaps, but it’s not up to the show’s usual standards.

Pinky is terrific in this one. Hopefully he got that Hot Mouse Summer he was dreaming of.

It’s a relatively minor critique as the gags still functioned well in telling the story. I’m not sure why Santa was some buff dude as it appeared to be a gag that only existed to subvert expectations that didn’t add any layers. I did enjoy the more “adult” situations and jokes like Pinky’s song about sex in a bathroom stall, his desire to be seductive, and his affection for muscular mice. I guess I just really liked all of the Pinky stuff.

I hope all who read this are as happy on Christmas morning as Pinky.

This one may not be as good as A Pinky and the Brain Christmas, but it holds up very well compared to the other Animaniacs Christmas episodes. I’d even entertain an argument that it’s the best one. And if you want to check it out for yourself you can find it on Hulu. It’s also available for rent and purchase via other means if you don’t want to sign up for the service, it’s just too bad the older series isn’t still on there. And if you can’t tell, I think you should! Especially if you’ve ever considered yourself an Animaniacs fan.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 24 – Shrek the Halls

2021 marked an important anniversary in animation: Shrek turned 20. The animated film from DreamWorks is credited as really helping to launch the company as a viable competitor to Disney’s Pixar. Prior to Shrek, DreamWorks had found success at the box office with Antz and Chicken Run, but Shrek was the first to really explode…

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Dec. 24 – The SpongeBob Christmas Special

When I listed out the best Christmas specials over a week ago, I included the stop-motion A SpongeBob Christmas. And I stand by that as that special is pretty great. Before there was A SpongeBob Christmas, there was The SpongeBob Christmas Special. Confused? Well, there are only so many ways to title a Christmas special.…

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Dec. 22 – Future-Worm! – “Lost in the Mall”

No title card for this one, so here’s the title card for the show. Original air date December 12, 2016.

I realize we just did a Christmas post the other day set in a mall, but at least this one is actually set at Christmas! And we’re pivoting from Nicktoons to Disney toons (which surprisingly don’t have their own fun branding) with the short-lived cartoon Future-Worm! I’ll be honest, before doing this post I had never heard of this show. It ran for close to two years (one season plus five shorts) from August 2016 to May of 2018 and is the creation of Ryan Quincy. Quincy is probably best known for his work as an animation director on South Park, a Christmas Spot veteran itself, but has had a few opportunities to oversee his own work. Future-Worm! is an animated show about a boy named Danny (Andy Milonakis) who is something of a genius as he’s able to create a time machine out of an ordinary lunch box. That time machine gets sent into the future and returns with a worm, the titular Future-Worm (James Adomian), or Fyootch for short.

It’s a pretty wacky premise, but the 2010s are full of cartoons with pretty wacky premises, from what I’ve encountered. My initial impression upon just viewing the show was that it had a very Adult Swim appearance to it. And I suppose that makes sense since the animation was provided by Titmouse, which made a name for itself via many Adult Swim shows. Titmouse has since gone on to really broaden its portfolio and is one of the more respected names in animation today, but there’s no denying that they’re really good at that sort of minimalist, almost intentionally cheap look a lot of Adult Swim shows (and something like South Park) embody. There also appears to be some influence to the design of the show from Rick and Morty, which was fast becoming the latest breakout hit for Adult Swim when Future-Worm! was in development. Even the concept for the show sounds like it could have been a Rick and Morty episode.

Despite my unfamiliarity with the show, I’ll do my best to relay what’s happening in this holiday themed episode in which one of the protagonists becomes lost in the mall at Christmas time. It’s a solid premise, but it’s a bit of a surprise that the one getting lost is our main character’s father, Doug (Quincy), and not the child lead. What happens to a man who gets lost in the holiday scrum and trapped in the mall after hours? It’s time to find out!

You gotta be careful at the mall on “Holiday” Eve.

“Lost in the Mall” is the second segment of the episode we’re looking at. The first, “Future-Worm and the 54 days of Snordfest,” could also be described as a holiday episode. Rather than do both in one entry, I picked the more “Christmassy” episode of the two. If I need to fill a day down the road, I could always come back to it. This one begins with Doug declaring it’s “Holiday Eve,” and that this is a time for family, only he doesn’t get to finish his thought as he gets knocked over by patrons in the mall. It would seem the family is out at the mall for some last-minute Christmas shopping.

Apparently Mrs. Douglas (yes, the father’s name is Doug Douglas) is an inventor and toy maker.

Doug sees nothing but senseless violence all around, but the rest of the family is just going with it. Danny calls for his dad to help push through the crowd while Fyootch informs him he’s here for a last run on the holiday themed latte. When Doug suggests he himself makes a mean latte, Fyootch shoots him down. He’s a bit of a connoisseur. Megan (Melanie Lynskey), Danny’s mom and Doug’s wife, is actually there to see how well her product is selling: The action figure chair! She holds up a sign for the product and it would seem she made a chair that people are supposed to buy for their action figures. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I’d probably buy such a thing.

I’m guessing this vision has no chance of happening.

Doug expresses his desires to just have a nice holiday at home by the fire. We even get to see how he envisioned this unfolding and I’m assuming regular viewers of the show would find this idyllic scene to be implausible for the family. Doug seems down, and Danny is too because he’s afraid he’ll never get a copy of Lettuce Delivery 2, the apparent cool game of the season. Danny basically gets stuck in a loop thanks to his anxiety over missing out on the sequel to the greatest game of all time forcing Fyootch to slap him in the face with the end of his tail. Danny thanks his worm-buddy for snapping him out of it, then asks for his help. Fyootch uses his tongue to press a button on a device fastened to his tail that sort of looks like a smart watch, but with buttons. It apparently makes him grow in size as he goes from being a fairly normal-sized worm to one that’s more like the size of a dog.

Who is out here throwing cookies?!

Once embiggened, Fyootch calls out to the mob that someone is giving away free money. This, not surprisingly, causes a stampede as people rush to get some cash and we get to see what they had been crowding around before: the mall Santa shop. Mrs. Claus (Paget Brewster) has a pretty sour expression on her face when she sees her crowd disappear and I’m guessing that’s going to cause some problems. As Future-Worm laughs at the mob for running for free money (which he thinks is worthless), he gets pelted by gingerbread. More gingerbread comes raining down on the family and it’s being tossed by the elves from the Santa setup. Mrs. Claus is now on a megaphone as well announcing there’s free gingerbread which, despite Fyootch mocking the dessert as gross, turns the mob around. The family is forced to run for their lives, but Doug slips on a gingerbread man. He picks it up to regard it in a curious fashion, and then a little girl essentially sets the entire mob on him by claiming he has the last cookie. It sure seemed like those elves had a ton more, but these are mob rules and they don’t have to make sense.

Did he have a bad experience with gingerbread in the past? Or future?

We cut to Fyootch at the counter of a coffee bar. He cheerfully announces that he would like one, seasonal, latte, please. The barista (Charlyne Yi), somewhat aggressively, calls for a gingerbread latte which shocks Fyootch. He then looks around and sees people sucking down lattes and chomping on gingerbread men and he’s horrified. He falls off of the counter in shock and starts backing away towards the door wondering aloud how someone can drink bread. He bumps into a store display gingerbread man which causes him to cry out in fear as he makes a break for it. This worm really doesn’t like gingerbread.

The most efficient way to travel through a stampede.

At the store Toysasaurus Rex, Danny is back to freaking out because he can’t get through a crowd. His mother is beside him when an alarm goes off announcing that the mall is dangerously overcrowded and that all patrons must stampede to the nearest exit. This sets off the requested stampede which Doug finds himself in. A girl comes running at him with a sign reading “The End is Near” which causes him to stumble and crash into a store display coffin. Pretty weird for such a thing to still be hanging around at Christmas, but okay. Danny and his mom end up crowd-surfing atop the mob and it works out for them as we next see them at home looking exhausted. Megan is reclined in a chair when she pops up screaming “Doug!” I wonder how long they were home before they realized they left Doug behind?

Uh oh, Doug’s in trouble!

We go back to find Doug shoving open the coffin. It’s dark now and he’s in some, weird, goth, shop I guess. He questions if he died in the stampede and decides to call home just to make sure. Before he can complete his call though some shadowy figures emerge causing him to shriek, “Ghosts!” and drop his phone. We smash cut to the rest of the family literally smashing their way into the store. Megan seems uneasy about breaking and entering as she tries to assure herself the mall’s “Lost shopper insurance,” will cover the damage. Fyootch, who is still embiggened, wonders why Doug isn’t answering his phone, but Danny declares he implanted a tracking device in his father for just such an occasion (didn’t Peter Griffin claim to do this to Lois in a Family Guy Christmas special?) and his tracker shows that his father is in the security office for lost and found. Makes sense!

Doug may be in trouble, but how often do you get the chance to shop in an empty mall? Oh, right, that’s pretty much every mall these days.

Fyootch gets the line of the episode so far with, “Typical, Doug. Whole place to himself and he goes to hang out with mall cops.” Danny then brings up that the toy store is on the way to the lost and found and they could stop there. Megan is apparently in no hurry as she points out how her husband loves to rummage through lost and found sections. Fyootch also has no intention of going straight to Doug as he’s planning on fixing himself a proper latte – one with peppermint. I’m not a latte person myself, but in the war of peppermint vs gingerbread as a flavoring agent I’m going to have to side with the worm here.

Apparently, the goths are to blame. They all seem to be uncredited, but I’m guessing the main cast voice them.

We cut to Doug who is now tied to a chair in a dark room with wavy, red, lines on the floor that could be mistaken for blood at first glance which adds to the danger. We then see the face of his kidnapper – some goth dude, who asks Doug if he’s a spy because he has some kind of device in his neck. Doug is surprised to hear this, but then tells the guy it was just his kid who implanted the thing. He’s then shocked to find it gone, and then two other even creepier goths emerge from the shadows to inform him they pulled it out and stuck it in the lost and found. They’re not buying his story, but Doug explains he got left behind and expresses his desire for a nice, quiet, holiday at home and we get to see his idyllic image once again. He’s crying now, and a third person emerges from the shadows, this one dressed like a princess (Chelsea Peretti). She relates to Doug’s feelings of abandonment and unties him. She then adds that he can be of assistance to them with their “special mission,” which horrifies Doug for some reason.

So…do they guard all holidays? Or just this apparent Holiday?

At the toy store, the place is in ruins and all of the copies of Lettuce Delivery 2 have been picked clean. In fact, it would appear that everything in the store has sold out (or been stolen) except for a full rack of the action figure chair. Future-Worm comes slithering in with his latte to talk down to a dejected Megan declaring that no one needs chairs for their action figures. I beg to differ, worm. We then jump back to wherever Doug is being held as the goths are apparently ready to explain their plan to him. He’s told they just formed this group this morning because they like belonging and they like acronyms. He pulls down a sign that reads “G.O.T.H.S. – Guardians of the Holidays” to better illustrate his point. Doug, demonstrating that he’s a real square, reads it as “Go-ths” with a long “o” vowel, but no one corrects him. The goth dude just continues to explain their mission is to investigate “this,” and he holds up a flyer that reads “Join Us! Enjoy Us!” and it’s a man in a pile of gingerbread men. A gingerbread sun is also shining down upon him like some sort of religious experience. Honestly, it’s a flyer worth investigating. They feel that someone is trying to replace regular families with gingerbread ones and they want to fight for families because no one ever fought for them.

This must be so damaging for Doug. It would have been better for him to walk in on Megan and Future-Worm than see this!

The goth kid then concedes there’s a good chance they’re going to abandon their mission and just chill out and listen to music. These goths definitely are lacking in self-confidence as this isn’t a confession he’s proud to admit. They ask Doug if he’s willing to help, but Doug is clearly looking for a way out of this social setting. He theorizes that his family is likely worried about him, but the goths have a surprise. They show him the security feed which displays his family at the mall shopping. Doug can’t believe it, while the goths see this as a way to recruit him to their cause. They need a purist like him, and when Doug indicates he’s willing to help, they tell him he needs to first pass their test: by kicking his family out of the mall!

Well, looks like Doug entered his goth phase a little late in life.

Future-Worm, Danny, and Megan are strolling past the Santa area from the episode’s beginning. Fyootch pauses to regard a standee of a gingerbread man which he strikes down and taunts with the question “Are you bread? Or are you cookie, because you sure aren’t a man!” Danny tells his buddy to essentially knock it off as they need to find his dad, but it turns out his dad has found them. They all gasp when they turn to see Doug, now in full goth regalia. He definitely doesn’t look sure of himself while Megan asks if he pierced his nose. We then hear the voice of the princess girl announce that they sell clip-ons. She and the rest of the squad emerge from the shadows and the princess one adds a “Hi Megan. Thanks for saving my planet. P.S. I work at the mall now.” Apparently, they know each other as Megan refers to her as Ennuisha (see episode “The Forever Five”) and seems genuinely happy to see her again.

This is a fun little reunion. I guess?

Megan starts to go on a bit with her surprise reunion before essentially reminding herself that she’s both mad and confused at what’s going on. She demands an explanation from Doug who tells her that he’s joined their group. Fyootch has no interest in what’s going on and requests the keys to the car, but when Doug mentions the gingerbread conspiracy he’s suddenly all ears, assuming worms have ears. Megan doesn’t seem convinced and asks Doug if he got brainwashed by a secret society again? Doug has the rather childlike retort of “I didn’t get brainwashed! You did!” and goes on a rant about Christmas consumerism. Megan tries to defend herself by saying they rushed over to find him, but he throws the surveillance tape at them (figuratively) and they really have no response. Well, Future-Worm shoots back that he’d have gotten another latte if he knew this was going to take so long.

I think this may be the most frightening Mrs. Claus I’ve ever seen.

With that out in the open, Doug does as he was told to do and casts the family out of the mall. They hang their heads and slink off as Doug turns his back on them. The goth dude then tells him to snap out of it as they’re already gone and a voice chimes in to suggest they should have done the same! A lasso gets tossed from out of nowhere that binds the goths together. Then, they see their attacker: Mrs. Claus! And her elves! She offers up no initial explanation instead choosing to unleash a maniacal laugh revealing some sharp, scary-looking, teeth which Mrs. Claus isn’t typically known for. Then again, it might be hard to come by good dental up at the north pole, especially when you mock every elf that wants to become a dentist.

The elf deposited a nice load on Doug’s chest, there.

The rest of the family is shown walking through the parking lot with Danny asking his mom if they’re really going to have holiday morning without his dad? It’s at this point I’m realizing they’re avoiding the word Christmas – is that a Disney thing? I remember the Buzz Lightyear show did the same thing. Anyway, Megan refuses to do such a thing and vows to go back for Doug. Meanwhile, that very same Doug finds himself strapped to a conveyor belt while an elf piles up gingerbread batter on his chest which could be a subtle poop joke. Doug laments that his son is going to have a gingerbread man for a father and Mrs. Claus butts in to basically tell him, “Duh!” She wants to replace all families with gingerbread because families suck, or something, and this machine is going to achieve that. As Doug starts moving along, we see a hydraulic press is in his immediate future which I guess will merge him with the batter on his chest. Or it will just create some human-gingerbread mush.

I’m getting the sense there’s a lot about Megan I don’t know.

Lucky for Doug, he has one heroic wife. Megan cries out to him from the balcony and comes swinging in like Tarzan on some holiday garland. She gets in-between Doug and the press and literally holds it up. This woman is some kind of strong! Doug is understandably happy to be reunited with his wife as Danny comes rushing in to unplug the machine. He then decides to taunt Santa over his plans being foiled which is awfully sexist of him. Mrs. Claus is rather quick to point out that this whole plan is her idea and the Santa standing behind her is just three elves in a costume. Not just any elves, gingerbread elves and their skin basically melts into shapeless mounds of gingerbread which is pretty horrifying stuff. Mrs. Claus then tells the shocked family that it is she who made gingerbread the flavor of the season.

Well, that’s a bit unexpected.

She goes on and on about her efforts to advance gingerbread, but Danny casually interrupts to ask if she’s the Bread Baron? He then explains to the goth people that the Bread Baron is a nemesis of theirs and even refers them to the “Old Man Duck Head” video, which is a previous episode of the show. Mrs. Claus seems insulted he would think that she’s him and Danny is momentarily relieved, only for Mrs. Claus to declare that she’s really the Bread Baroness! She rips off her fleshy head to reveal a head that’s actually a gingerbread house which gets a laugh out of Fyootch. She then explains that her husband thought too small and didn’t think gingerbread was a real bread, which also explains why he left her for “a little French croissant.”

Aww, a little holiday magic.

She cackles that she doesn’t need her ex, or anyone, but is interrupted by Ennuisha who points out that she’s doing all of this just because her marriage deteriorated. She relates to the Baroness and apologizes for that happening to her. The Bread Baroness is caught off-guard by this showing of sympathy and tries to dismiss it, but seems genuinely touched. She soon finds her resolve though and vows to carry out her plan to replace families with gingerbread ones so that people can simply eat their families when they get sick of them. Doug then steps up to essentially say “Not today, Bread Baroness!” He explains that families are imperfect, but they still love each other and there’s no replacing one’s family. They all share a hug, and then Doug declares that “It’s time to break bread,” though not with much bravado.

I guess it was all a story.

A narrator then chimes in to tell us what happened next. Still images of the family beating down the gingerbread squad play before us as the episode basically decides to “Yadda yadda,” what should have been the best part. Some of the stills are amusing, like the family clotheslining the Baroness with a giant candy cane and the crew stomping some elves into mud. We’re then told that’s how the family saved the holidays as a book closes on it. It’s revealed that our narrator is an older version of Future-Worm who just finished reading a story to a really old, and sleeping, Danny. This is apparently some holiday tradition. He then wishes us a “Happy holidays,” to close it out.

That show really did feel like Rick and Morty for kids. Doug is such a Gerry character while Future-Worm himself embodies the selfishness of Rick with the genius of Rick going to Danny, who being a young boy, also embodies some Morty. It kind of works and I definitely didn’t hate what I just watched, but did I like it? I guess I’m not sure. I was definitely annoyed by the avoidance of the word Christmas. I’m not one of those “War on Christmas” types and I think when you’re out and about at this time of year and want to send some holiday wishes to a stranger “Happy Holidays” is the perfect way to do so. I just find it annoying when a television show is clearly celebrating Christmas, but goes out of its way to avoid saying the holiday’s name. It’s not a make or break thing, just a pet peeve.

The fight scene could have been something special, but instead we just got three still images.

This one positions itself as an offbeat Christmas holiday special and it’s out to make the viewer laugh. It’s just not particularly clever. I feel like anyone can come up with an outlandish premise like a time-traveling worm that speaks like Otto from The Simpsons. It’s just after that how do you make such a premise work? The plot with the goths just wasn’t particularly funny. It’s like they thought of the acronym first and then tried to make it fit, but the characters added nothing and it seemed to only exist for the sight gag of Doug in goth attire. I’m also not sure why the character of Ennuisha was brought back, but maybe this show just likes rewarding its viewers with callbacks for the sake of callbacks.

I will concede that the plot of gingerbread trying to replace humanity is pretty creative.

What did work for me was Future-Worm’s disdain for gingerbread. It feels a bit like a Seinfeld routine (“What is the deal with gingerbread? Is it a cookie or a bread?!”), but it works given the character’s preference for peppermint as his chosen holiday spice. I just wish the episode got more out of it. We get the scene at the coffee shop, then it’s reduced to just an occasional quip out of the character. I wanted to see him take charge against the enemies and truly vanquish the gingerbread squad. Instead, the episode wanted to put the focus on the family, which I get, but it’s also not exactly an original conclusion for a Christmas holiday episode. And then to just not even attempt to animate the action part was a cruel joke. Would the censors have not allowed for them to do it justice? If so, then okay, but otherwise that was a cheap cop-out.

All that being said, Future-Worm! isn’t a bad show from the little I’ve seen, it’s just flawed. And perhaps that’s why it wasn’t around for very long. I’ve never really encountered any praise for it online, nor have I encountered the opposite. It’s just a cable animated series for kids that came and went without much of an impact and television is loaded with many such programs in its history. The last remaining question is should you take the time to spend your Christmas holiday with Future-Worm!? I guess if you want to show your kids something a bit different it has some value. If you’re an adult and looking for something truly subversive, there’s better stuff out there.

Future-Worm! can currently be found streaming on Hulu for those in the US. For those outside of the US, check Disney+. It’s also available for purchase digitally.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 22 – Santabear’s High Flying Adventure

As we’ve maneuvered through the countdown for 2022 the theme of The Christmas Tape has stayed strong. And today, I am going down a rabbit hole because of that tape. If you read the first entry this year, you may recall I talked about a Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial that contained a contest for kids…

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Dec. 22 – Extreme Dinosaurs – “Holiday on Ice”

After looking at what I considered to be a pretty good cartoon yesterday, I’m feeling like I need to take-in some trash today. It’s to the late 90s we go and the Bohbot/DiC Street Sharks spin-off Extreme Dinosaurs! Ah yes, everything was extreme around this time. Surge was packing the soft drinks aisle in stores,…

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Dec. 19 – American Dad! – “Minstrel Krampus”

“Minstrel Krampus” originally aired December 15, 2013.

I’m quite surprised to have made it all the way to December 19 without resorting to The Simpsons, American Dad!, Bob’s Burgers, or some other animated sitcom that has an annual, or near annual, Christmas episode. Not that I have been avoiding such shows, and I may turn to one again before this is all over, it’s just worked out that way. American Dad! is the animated sitcom that might have the best claim to possessing the highest quality Christmas specials. They’re not an annual guarantee anymore, but the library the show has accumulated is quite good. Bob’s Burgers might be the runner-up at this point, but The Simpsons have a solid claim due largely to just having such a vast library of Christmas episodes at this point (and it could have been a lot more if not for the fact that the show was reluctant to go back to the holiday following the first, aired, episode).

“Minstrel Krampus” just might be my second favorite of the American Dad! Christmas episodes, but even that’s a tough battle. Last year, we looked at my favorite such episode and rather than go to the next in-line we’re doing Krampus. I suppose it’s slightly redundant given we already looked at a Christmas special this year featuring the beast, but if we can fit Santa into multiple specials then why not Krampus? This Christmas episode, like so many others, does tie-in with previous ones via The Smith family’s relationship with Santa Claus so it makes sense to look at this one this year. There was a Christmas episode released in between “For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls” and this one (“Season’s Beatings” which is excellent and likely to be looked at later), but it didn’t contain Santa so we’re not really missing anything continuity wise.

We have ourselves a festive framing device for this one.

This episode foregoes the opening credits and begins on the title screen with the sound of sleigh bells in the background. They should have brought back the candy cane font, but I’ll forgive them. The absence of an intro would seem to indicate we’re in for a slightly longer episode than usual. Normally, that’s a good thing, but when you’re writing a blog entry that has to cover the whole of an episode it’s less thrilling. Once the title is removed we’re presented with an ornate looking storybook that lets us know this is an American Dad! Christmas episode. A narrator, who is clearly Stan’s father Jack (Daran Norris), chimes in to set the mood. It’s Christmas, the time of year when children are the worst! They’ve figured out they’re getting stuff whether they’re bad or good and that just sucks.

In order for this episode to work, Steve has to be a giant brat. Just go with it.

We then find ourselves at a toy store. To apparently illustrate this point, we see Stan (Seth MacFarlane) and Francine (Wendy Schaal) pushing a cart filled with toys while their teenaged son Steve (Scott Grimes) rides in the basket. He grabs an RC car from the shelf and tosses it into the cart, which Francine removes and places back on the shelf. He immediately protests and when Francine tells him it’s too expensive he throws a tantrum. Stan reminds him he only gets what he wants if he’s good, and Steve responds by slapping his father in the face. Stan doesn’t understand what’s gotten into their son while Francine just refers to him as a mystery. This is apparently an inspirational quote for Steve who hops out of the cart and breaks into song, the first line of which is “I’m the one they call a mystery.”

This is the first of a handful of musical numbers in this one, most of which are really well done and catchy.

I think this is around the time of the show where the writers fell in love with Scott Grimes and his singing ability. And with good reason – he sounds great! Steve sings his song, which I assume is titled “Bad Bad Boy” or something to that effect, with a simple, synthesized, backing track. His vocal inflections remind me of Bad era Michael Jackson, and considering the song’s premise, that’s probably intentional. Steve basically just dances around the store plucking items from the shelf and tossing them, which Francine has to pick up. It cuts into segments of Steve dancing in hip hop attire with background dancers on top of a giant, green, red-ribboned, present with flames in the background. It’s absurd, but quite entertaining. It goes on for a half minute or so before Francine demands an end to this song and dance. Stan then laments that he can’t just beat Steve like his father used to beat him, which actually gives him an idea as he tells Steve he’s going to show him what happens to bad boys when they grow up.

Jack Smith has a little story to tell his grandson.

We switch scenes to a penitentiary. Stan’s dad, Jack, is locked-up here and Stan wants Steve to speak with his grandfather and hopefully get scared straight. When the two sit-down with Jack, divided by the usual security features of a prison, Stan demands Jack tell Steve how awful prison is, but Jack just reminisces about Krampus. Neither Steve nor Stan have any idea who Krampus is, but Jack says Steve is lucky he’s not around anymore because when he was a kid Krampus would punish the naughty. He then tells the tale of Krampus which is displayed via still images as if they’re from an old storybook. He covers the usual stuff, like how Krampus rode with Santa and beat on bad kids, but when Steve calls it a bunch of bull-jizzle (eww) Jack explains he’s not around anymore because he trapped him! One Christmas Eve night, little Jack got out of bed to get more of his mother’s strudel, but he found Krampus with his head buried in the copper pot full of the stuff. Jack slammed the lid on him trapping him forever!

You have to feel for a kid who walks in on some goat-man going to town on his mother’s strudel.

Stan and Steve don’t believe the old man’s story which is when Jack tells him to check his basement. It would seem all of Jack’s stuff is stored there, on account of him being in prison and all, and that includes the copper pot containing Krampus. He urges Stan to investigate, but the two get up and leave forcing a guard to enter to drag Jack back to his cell all the while with him screaming for Stan to check his basement (he also mentions some really fast skis he’s keeping down there too).

This feels like the setup for a B plot, but it really doesn’t go anywhere.

Back in town, Main Street is all decorated for Christmas and Hayley (Rachel MacFarlane) is out doing some window-shopping with Klaus (Dee Bradley Baker), the fish. Klaus is comically riding around in a hamster ball full of water while wearing a festive Santa hat. He asks Hayley if she’s decided what she’s getting the family for Christmas and she indicates she has not. This is her opportunity to break into song. It’s not particularly funny or anything as she just needs money for Christmas (to just buy popcorn?) which leads her to Roger (MacFarlane) who demands she stop singing and just tell him what she wants. It’s a job she wants and she’s hoping she can work in Roger’s attic bar, but he gestures to the open area that he has plenty of help since he hired some collegiate water polo team. A bunch of physically fit men in red speedos are serving drinks and Roger remarks suggestively he has “more hands than jobs.”

Oh my!

Roger tosses Hayley a newspaper and tells her to check the want ads. She finds an ad for airport work and puts a circle around that. One of Roger’s waiters then walks over and he inspects the young man’s…area. He’s not satisfied with the fit of the speedo and complains that it’s too loose and that you could fit two men in it! He demonstrates by squeezing himself into the garment and the poor waiter looks rightly uncomfortable with the situation. Roger complains it’s still too loose and calls over another waiter to get in.

What are the Smiths going to do with this boy?

Later at the Smith residence, Steve is ripping open his Christmas presents and finding them not up to his standards. He pulls out what looks like a futuristic looking RC car and questions if his parents bought the floor model before emphatically smashing it on the floor. Francine comes over demanding to know, “By the power of Grayskull,” just what Steve thinks he’s doing. Stan gathers up the remaining unopened gifts and says he’s going to hide these ones until Christmas. This takes him down into the basement while muttering how Steve has him “…talking like Bernie Mac.” He tries to place the gifts on the top shelf of some wall unit, but he ends up knocking down a whole bunch of boxes which reveals his father’s copper pot.

A Krampus moon shot! Now there’s something you don’t see in most Christmas specials.

Stan approaches the pot with trepidation, but soon hears a voice calling from inside. It’s Krampus (Danny Glover), and he wants to be let out! He mistakes Stan for Jack, but Stan corrects him by telling the demon that Jack is his father. The beast continues urging Stan to free him, but he’s apprehensive about unleashing a literal demon upon the world. Then he hears Steve screaming at his mother upstairs about his Mickey Mouse towel and it gives him an idea. He offers Krampus a deal: he’ll let him out, but he has to scare Steve straight. Krampus is more than willing to do so as he reminds Stan that’s basically his thing, so Stan removes the lid. Immediately, a black, wraith-like, being comes flying out and past Stan! We cut to Steve sleeping in his bed when his window smashes in and Krampus appears. He picks Steve up by the neck and shoves him in his sack. Stan comes bursting in just in-time to see Krampus fly out of the window riding his sack like a witch rides a broom. Before he leaves, he tells Stan to bring him Jack if he ever wants to see his kid again. On the way out, we get to see Krampus fly past the full moon – a new holiday tradition!

That’s one way to do it.

We cut to the prison and Jack is flipping out at the news that Stan freed Krampus. When he incredulously asks upon hearing the news, “You did what?!” Stan replies that he just wanted Krampus to scare Steve straight which causes Jack to scream, “Sexual orientation is not a choice!” For as shitty a person as Jack is, at least he isn’t a homophobe. Stan ignores him and just lays out his proposal: Krampus has Steve and will only return him if Jack takes his place. Stan informs his father that he can use his CIA connections to have him released if he’s willing to switch places with Steve. Jack flips up his eye patch exposing a hole where his eye once was and pulls a cigarette out from it that he must have been stashing. He inserts the filter end of the cigarette into the hole and lights it, takes a drag somehow, and then takes it out and smokes it in a more conventional sense. He then agrees to Stan’s proposal.

You just can’t trust that Jack.

We cut to Stan and Jack leaving the prison. As they do, Jack reasons that Krampus must have taken Steve to Bavaria where his castle is. He tells Stan to give him his keys, which Stan does only for Jack to punch him out and steal his car. As he does so, he shouts “See ya, sucker!” in Stan’s direction who is left sitting on the ground. He just chuckles to himself between mutterings of “Yup,” indicating he should have probably seen that coming.

They can’t all be teapots and candelabras.

At the castle of Krampus, Steve is being dragged by the leg to a holding cell. As he gets dragged by a large wooden door, it opens and some normally inanimate objects emerge and note their surprise at seeing Krampus. They are a toilet brush, bidet, plunger, and beer stein. It would seem Krampus’ castle is not unlike that of the Beast from Disney’s version of Beauty and the Beast. Krampus then chucks Steve into a caged area all the while Steve is insisting he can’t be treated like this because he’s an American child. He even refers to himself as a treasure. He then spits in the face of Krampus and tries to threaten him, but Krampus checks him to remind him who he’s dealing with.

You get the rod!

This is Krampus’ turn to break out into song (singing voice provided by Charles Bradley) and illustrate to Steve why he’s a creature to be feared. It’s a funky little R&B number and probably the highlight of the musical component to this episode. Krampus basically dances around torturing Steve with the climax of each verse being “You get the rod!” followed by him wailing on Steve’s ass with his birch sticks. There’s a break in the middle where Krampus explains to Steve that he doesn’t know real pain like he does which leads to a quick story about Krampus being dumped by a girl named Sheila in the middle of downtown Baltimore to go with a guy named Dennis. When he goes back into his song, he sings about Sheila presenting him with a baby she claimed was is, but looked just like Dennis. That damn, Dennis! This guy has some real trauma in his past. The song closes with him holding Steve by the ankles as he spanks his bottom with the birch sticks. He leaves the boy sobbing in a fetal position in the cage telling him that’s where he’ll stay until he gets Jack.

Roger seems like he’s actually a good bartender. Terrible boss, but good bartender.

At the Smith home, Stan is nursing a beer at Roger’s bar. Roger, being the ever attentive bartender, asks Stan to tell him what he did, or who he did, was it another boy?! Stan tells him what happened and Roger surprises him by actually knowing who Krampus is. He suggests that Santa would know where to find him, but Stan reminds Roger that Santa hates him and we get a brief flashback to their confrontation from before. Plus, Stan adds, he has no way to get to the North Pole, but Roger informs him he’s wrong about that assumption and calls for his “boys.”

If you’re feeling bad for the one dead one, I’m guessing the others aren’t far behind so at least he won’t be alone.

We cut to Stan and Roger on a floating sleigh with the water polo team pulling it through the arctic waters. One of them is clearly dead while the others jump and swim like dolphins. They arrive at a frozen island with a massive, 100 foot wall of ice in front of them. Roger just asks Stan to give him a boost so he does and the scene just cuts to Roger effortlessly climbing over the edge. He then calls out for Stan to grab his hand and the shot is positioned over Roger’s shoulder so that Stan is comically too far away to reach. The scene cuts back to Stan and Roger’s hand is in-frame. I don’t know if this is a reference to anything or just something the writers thought was funny, but it is! Stan is then jumped by a group of elves obviously working for Santa. The ice beneath Roger’s feet breaks away from the side of the wall causing him to fall and crash through the ice. An elf reaches into the newly formed crater with a snare to wrap around Roger’s throat. He pops up and commands the elf, “Harder.” He tightens the snare only for Roger to respond with, “Way harder!”

Roger’s just making the best of a bad situation.

At Santa’s workshop, Stan is tied to a chair with holly and a coat-less Santa comes strutting in to smash his face with a revolver featuring a candy cane pattern. Santa (Matt McKenna) is not happy to see Stan and seems ready to kill him, but Stan mentions Krampus. Santa is really not happy to hear about the return of Krampus as he hates sharing the spotlight with the demon, plus he used to nibble on his list. He then makes Stan an offer: help him kill Krampus, and he’ll help get Steve returned safely. Stan agrees and says “Come on, Roger,” and as the camera pulls back we see Roger is tied to a chair nearby and the elves are still choking him. He tells Stan he’s “Almost there,” indicating they can leave once he…finishes.

I see nothing wrong here.

Back at Krampus’ castle, the objects come to cheer up Steve. First he’s approached by a roll of toilet paper who offers to dry his tears, then the others appear. Bidet offers Steve a drink of water from his “spout” which Steve is happy to partake in. Steve uses the opportunity to complain about how mean Krampus is, but the others disagree and tell him he has Krampus all wrong. They let him out to illustrate their point and the group finds Krampus at a piano singing his heart out.

Yeah, Krampus, sing your heart out! I am here for it!

Krampus is in pain, and it hurts him to punish children, but it’s something he must do! Steve is touched and joins Krampus for a duet where he explains that he understands the demon now. The song is very soulful, and Charles Bradley sings his ass off. The song does devolve into Krampus singing about his love life again and brings up his ex, Sheila, once more. It gets dark when Krampus vows to kill her, but then ends by professing his love for her. He’s got some stuff to work out. When the song ends, the two have a heart-to-heart and reach an understanding about the role Krampus plays and Steve seems to have turned over a new leaf. Krampus tells Steve he just wants to see Jack so he can apologize for failing him as he blames himself for Jack turning out so rotten.

Another atypical moon shot, this one is really spoiling us!

At the North Pole, Stan, Roger, and Santa are ready to set out for Krampus. The three of them are in Santa’s sleigh which is only being pulled by six reindeer – but wait! Tagging along behind them are three additional reindeer being ridden by elves. Do we grant credit for the proper number of reindeer to this scene as a result? It’s inconclusive, but maybe. The sleigh takes off and they pass by a full moon once again and Stan even makes a comment about it. Roger adds that once you’re above the clouds the moon always looks full, but when Stans asks if that’s true Roger just blows him off. And if you’re wondering, the answer is “No,” that is not true. Santa then adds that Stan will be on the permanent Good List for helping him kill Krampus, right alongside Jesus. When Roger points out that Jesus is a Jew, Santa reacts with an incredulous, “What?!”

Ugh, let’s just forget this happened.

As the sleigh group passes over an airport, we pan down to check-in with Jack again who is trying to board a plane to Jamaica, but his flight has been delayed. He gets in a little tiff with an airline employee named Mary-Ann (Marissa Jaret Winokur) who refers him to customer service. There he finds Hayley (remember her arc?) working a customer service kiosk. She’s being accosted by a group of Jamaican men (all voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson) who seem rather upset about their flight. Jack is surprised to find Hayley here and when he asks her what she’s doing she says she needs money to buy presents for her family. When Jack expresses that he doesn’t understand why anyone would want to do something for their family, she breaks into a Calypso/Rastafarian number about how family gets you high and it is just awful. It’s not even funny bad, it just sucks. It’s apparently all the convincing Jack needs though as when the song ends he’s convinced he needs to help his family so he changes his flight to Bavaria to go after Krampus.

They just couldn’t help themselves.

It’s morning at Castle Krampus and Steve comes walking into the kitchen in an oversized dress shirt to find Krampus cooking breakfast. Are we supposed to read this like the classic setup of a woman wearing a man’s shirt the next morning after a night of sex? Normally, I’d say no, but with this show I’m betting they want us to think of it in that way. Krampus serves him his breakfast and Steve is basically still apologizing for being a bad kid, but Krampus wants to thank him for reminding him how good it feels to convert bad kids to good ones. He’s made blueberry crepes, and Plunger asks Steve if he wants homemade chocolate sauce. After he asks, he drags his body across a plate of the dish leaving a brown trail behind. Yes, this is definitely a poop joke.

You’ve sauced your last crepe, Plunger.

Outside, Santa’s sleigh has been parked and we find the assault team roaming the halls of the castle. Santa signals for all to stop when he hears the sound of a toilet flushing. We see plunger using the bathroom and finishing up before the door flies open. Stan angrily storms in and grabs Plunger and drowns him in the toilet. In the kitchen, Steve is helping Krampus with the dishes. Krampus scrapes the contents of a plate into a trash bag which is a living bag that begins hopping towards the door to take itself out. Stan, Santa, and the elves burst in and one of the elves grabs the trash bag and cuts it open. Blood appears as the contents of the trash bag spill on the floor indicating it has died while Steve cries out “Trashy!”

If you smash a bidet, does it bleed? Yes.

They begin laying waste to the various objects in the kitchen. Santa chucks the toilet paper onto an open flame while Stan wrestles with the bidet. He ends up tossing it out the window where it smashes into a pile of porcelain and blood on the ground. A living table stands up on its end for Krampus and Steve to duck behind while the boy cries out for them to stop their assault. He also cries out as his friends are slaughtered and this is clearly going to scar the boy for a long time. During this sequence, we see Jack has arrived and is skiing towards the castle as the sound of gunfire filters out. The table gets shot and dies leaving Krampus exposed. Santa fires off a round and nails him in the chest. As Krampus lays on the ground bleeding out, Steve comforts him, but Santa just comes over and puts one foot on his chest. Declaring himself “Big man on Krampus,” he blasts the demon in the forehead ending his existence.

Avert your eyes, Steve!

With Krampus dead, Santa turns his attention to Stan. Drawing his gun on him, Stan tries to reason with him, but Santa lays it out in plain terms that he’s the bad guy! Steve chimes in to tell his dad that’s what he was trying to tell him, that Krampus was good and Santa evil. Santa laughs and confirms as much saying he’s in bed with “Big Toy” to make sure all kids get what they want on Christmas so that he can profit. When Roger tries to point out that this doesn’t make any sense since Santa gives toys away, he tells him to shut up and not to think about it too hard.

You were a fool to trust him, Stan. That’s twice you’ve failed!

Santa then fires off a round at Stan, but through the window comes Jack! He’s able to soar in front of his son in slow motion to take a bullet for him while simultaneously sending one of his skis to plunge into Santa’s chest. The act causes Santa to lose his revolver and Stan is able to grab it. Santa still tries to throw a knife that was on the floor at Stan, but he misses and hits the wall which we find out was alive. Santa then runs for it shouting “Every man for himself,” with his trio of elves trailing behind. With Stan kneeling over his dad, Jack takes the opportunity to tell Stan he’s a good guy and to apologize for being a bad father, but Stan corrects him and says his abuse made him what he is today. That’s the message of the episode folks, kids need to be beaten into goodness. Jack expresses regret for sealing Krampus away for all these years feeling that, if he hadn’t, the world wouldn’t suck so bad.

At least they got to have one touching moment before he died.

On the floor, the blood pooling from Krampus mingles with the blood of Jack. The body of Krampus turns to a blue apparition and gets absorbed into Jack. His lifeless body begins to float and blasts of light shoot out of him and a new Krampus is born! This new Jack-Krampus basically looks as you would expect and is quite thrilled at the idea of being alive again. Steve points out the obvious, while Stan asks him if he’s going to be Krampus all the time or just on Christmas. Jack rightly doesn’t know, but he declares it’s Christmas Eve and he has some bottoms to blister! He turns into the wraith form and flies out the window. Outside, he flies right up to the screen to break the fourth wall to tell us “You better be good, boys and girls, or I’ll beat you until blood’s comin’ from your ears and your eyes and your mouth. Merry Christmas! …and from your ass!” The scene turns into another image from the storybook that started it all. It zooms out and closes signaling that’s the end.

Behold! The new Krampus!

“Minstrel Krampus” is a thoroughly wacky tale that only American Dad! could tell. In order for it to take place, Steve needs to act like a petulant child and do things he normally never would, like slap his father. And for his part, Stan needs to act in a way he normally would not for if Steve ever struck him in another episode he probably would beat the child or inflict some kind of psychological torture on the boy. It’s also dependent upon Santa being a bad guy in this universe and that part is played up. It’s not exactly a perversion of Christmas to view Krampus in a somewhat favorable light if his punishment is deemed corrective discipline. And the observation that basically all kids get toys on Christmas, be they good or bad, isn’t exactly wrong.

Unlike the old Krampus, this one doesn’t seem to be transferring his own trauma onto bad kids. I think he’s just going to like wailing on children.

Where the episode takes it further is by introducing the message that capital punishment is the best form of punishment for children. That’s obviously made in jest and I don’t think the show intends for us to take it literally, it’s just there for the sake of humor. Steve encountering a group of magic, talking, objects is a direct parody of Beauty and the Beast and the episode makes certain to select the most unsanitary of objects for its characters. Most of these wouldn’t have existed in the Beast’s castle, but imagine if Belle encountered a magic, talking, chamber pot? I’m actually a little surprised they went with the comparatively less disgusting bidet, but they got their poop joke in via the plunger so it’s not as if the episode didn’t “go there.”

The only weakness I find with this one is in the B plot, if you can even call it that. We get a very brief scene at the beginning of Hayley looking for a job which only happens so that Jack can encounter her at the airport and have a terrible song come from her that changes his perception of family. For this to work, we basically have to ignore Hayley’s usual character as she’s not likely to feel this kind of pressure to get her family anything for Christmas. In that, it’s similar to Steve acting as horrible as he does which is just as out of character for him. It’s just not a rewarding plot and the whole scene at the airport is easily the weakest moment. They could have cut the whole thing and just had Jack witness something at the airport that changed his heart. Maybe a parody of Home Alone with Kevin’s mom declaring she’s getting home to her son for Christmas could have provided a comedic way to turn things around. Basically anything would have been better than the scene we got.

The storybook pages are a lot of fun, and I’m always down for more Krampus stories!

Aside from that one song, the others are quite entertaining. This episode is almost a musical. I don’t think there’s enough music to really call it that, but it doesn’t matter as it’s just semantics anyway. The songs are pretty great though and I really loved the opening number with Steve at the store and both songs involving Krampus. Scott Grimes and Charles Bradley give terrific performances and the delivery of their songs are very earnest, with the lyrics sometimes being ridiculous. This is the type of episode I recommend watching with subtitles on at least once so you can get all of the jokes. That last song with Krampus sure takes things to some dark places by the time it’s over.

Ultimately, this is just a funny Christmas episode. It’s not as bloodthirsty as the previous one we looked at, so some that found the battle between the Smiths and Santa’s minions distasteful might actually prefer this one. It certainly has that American Dad! spirit as the show was well into its life at this point to know how to do a proper Christmas episode to the point where it feels automatic. And if you’re wondering, yes both Santa and Jack-Krampus return in future Christmas episodes so you might not want to stop here. And if you do want to watch it, and any other American Dad! Christmas episode, Hulu has you covered. Cartoon Network is also sure to show it and the rest all month long, though by now the number of viewings are likely dwindling so act fast!

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 19 – Krazy Kat – “Krazy’s Krismas”

One of the most celebrated comic strips of all time is Krazy Kat by George Herriman. Krazy Kat debuted in the New York Evening Journal in 1913 and concluded its run in 1944. It contained a fairly simply premise where a cat named Krazy pined for a mouse named Ignatz, only the mouse hated the…

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Dec. 19 – Christopher the Christmas Tree

We look at a lot of Christmas stuff pulled from every day cartoons, for the most part. On occasion though, I suppose we should throw the Christians a bone and look at something a bit more secular. Yes, I think most people know Christmas was basically co-opted by the church many years ago, but it’s…

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Dec. 19 – The Shanty Where Santy Claus Lives

Every year I do this I am reminded at how surprising it is that so few Christmas themed Merrie Melodies and Looney Tunes shorts exist. Disney put out several memorable ones over the years featuring their characters, but Warner Bros. mostly stayed away. Bugs Bunny would eventually get a Christmas television special in the 70s,…

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Dec. 16 – A Very Solar Holiday Opposites Special

Original release date November 22, 2021

Yesterday, we talked about South Park and its very first holiday special from the late 90s and today we’re talking about the Trey Parker/Matt Stone of the 2010s – Justin Roiland. Roiland was able to hook-up with Dan Harmon in the mid-2000s which put him on the path to comedy writer and actor, usually of the more crass nature. His break-out came with the Adult Swim program and prior Christmas Spot feature Rick and Morty which is basically the South Park of today. It pushes the envelope, it’s very creator-driven, and like Parker, Roiland handles a large chunk of the voice cast.

Likely due to the success of Rick and Morty, Roiland found himself being courted by Fox to produce an animated sitcom for their network. That basically fell through when Fox decided to get out of content creation with the Disney sale, but in the interim Hulu came in to throw money Roiland’s way. The end result was Solar Opposites, a very Rick and Morty styled show that Roiland developed alongside former Rick and Morty showrunner Mike McMahan. There’s the thought that Harmon is the stabilizing force on Rick and Morty that keeps Roiland in check when he really wants to go off the rails, so the main draw of Solar Opposites for me when it was announced was to see just where Roiland would go without Harmon.

The answer is not as far as you may have thought. Solar Opposites is a fine show, but definitely a less focused one when compared with Rick and Morty. It works in the streaming model as it’s the type of show I’ve found I can just toss on when I’m not really feeling like investing in anything I’m overly attached to. The characters are designed to be fairly unlikable and the plots can be a bit nonsensical so there’s no requirement to pay much attention to the show’s continuity. There is a show within the show that takes itself more seriously and it does become more of a focus in the more recent seasons, but even that is pretty easy to jump into. It’s funny, but also absurd, and the sci-fi elements are still very much a huge presence in the program.

The aliens: (left to right) Korvo (holding Pupa), Terry, Yumyulak, Jesse

Solar Opposites is about a family of aliens that had to flee their own world. Korvo (Roiland) is the leader and the only one who seems to place any sort of value on their mission to terraform Earth so their species may rise again. He despises Earth and basically everything on it. Or at least he claims to, but there seems to be plenty here he does enjoy. Terry (Thomas Middleditch) is Korvo’s evacuation partner and is sometimes portrayed as a mate. Unlike Korvo, he seems to like Earth culture and enjoys indulging in it and all of its pop. He’s also the designated pupa specialist as each evacuation group from their home world was issued a pupa (Sagan McMahan) which will one day grow to gargantuan proportions and terraform the Earth, basically destroying all sentient life in the process. They are joined by their individual replicants, Yumyulak (Sean Giambrone) and Jesse (Mary Mack) who are forced to live as Earth teenagers. It is them who shrink and capture random humans to toss into a terrarium where the show’s “Show within a show” takes place.

In between the second and third seasons of the show a Christmas special was released. Titled “A Very Solar Holiday Opposites Special,” it basically takes these fish out of water characters and just tosses all manner of Christmas at them. We’re going to get a lot of subversion of Christmas tropes, numerous references to more famous specials, and we’ll likely finish with something that’s not exactly heartwarming and Christmassy.

These aliens know how to decorate.

The special begins with the Solar Opposites house looking very, very, festive. Korvo is inside jumping around with a pair of handguns blasting the Christmas tree. The guns he is firing are apparently Christmas guns, or something, because when they strike the tree they just make ornaments appear. Terry then enters carrying a Santa statue sporting a Santa for President t-shirt and both talk about how much they fucking love Christmas. Yes, since this is for streaming there is a ton of casual swearing. Korvo reminisces about an annual festival on their home world that involved hunting the elderly and looks back on it with nostalgia. Terry just seems to love the kitsch aspect of Christmas as he demonstrates the Santa statue he’s carrying is a novelty hot cocoa dispenser. I bet you can guess where the chocolate comes out.

Everyone is down with Christmas except for the Pupa.

Yumyulak, Jesse, and the Pupa enter and they’re excited for Christmas as well. Yumyulak loves that they get to kill a tree and decorate its corpse while Jesse states she loves getting gifts and then returning them for store credit. They all then gang up on the Pupa as it apparently dislikes Christmas. We have to trust the others on this because it does nothing to demonstrate its dislike for Christmas. It just maintains a neutral face while the rest hurl insults at it until it’s had enough and leaves through the window. Terry demands it not return until its found the Christmas spirit. Meanwhile, Yumyulak seems ready to fuck the tree which I guess would make him a necrophiliac by his own definition? Jesse produces a tray of candy cane Hot Pockets which they all seem to enjoy and Terry lets us know we’re about to experience the Solar Opposites Christmas special! Woo!

Even their origin story is getting the holiday treatment.

We then get a festive rendition of the opening credits. Basically every character is wearing a Christmas outfit and the home world of the aliens is shown being destroyed by Santa instead of an asteroid. I approve. When the credits end, we see what the Pupa is up to: church. It would seem the Pupa is the only one that cares about the secular aspect of Christmas as it attends mass and does so without irony. After a brief sermon by the pastor (Troy Baker), the Pupa goes over to a man who is sobbing in the pews. He confesses to the Pupa (basically none of the humans on the show bat an eye at the aliens, they just accept them as a thing that exists) that he made a mistake by kicking his son out of the house because he confessed he’s a little bit bisexual. The pupa comforts the man and looks up at a large sculpture of Jesus and seems to smile at it.

The Solar Opposites are about to experience Jingle All the Way, a Christmas movie without Will Ferrell elves or leg lamps.

Terry is ready to commence a festive tradition of watching a Christmas movie. And today’s feature: a VHS copy of Jingle All the Way. They’ve never seen it, but Terry boasts about the recommendation it received from the Christian Science Monitor. Korvo chimes in and asks the group if they want to watch Jingle All the Way, or truly live it? He then leads them to the lab where he asks if they remember seeing Ready Player One. No one seems to, but Korvo explains a part of the movie gave him an idea when a character went into The Shining, or something. I’ve never seen it. Yumyulak uses this as an opportunity to likely channel one of the writers on this episode by seeming unimpressed that the movie put a better movie into it to try and seem good. Korvo explains he made the same device though and calls it The Ready Player One Device and receives shit from Jesse for his unoriginal names to which he responds, “Tough ta-tas.”

This isn’t the most exciting movie to enter.

Korvo activates the device and they’re all magically transported into Jingle All the Way complete with a festive, snowy, wipe effect. All four characters find themselves in a home and all are dressed the same. Yumyulak is not impressed to just move from one suburban house to another and when they question their attire Korvo informs them that the device is only able to replace one character in the film so they’ll all be playing Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character. A kid (uncredited) then runs up to them to inform their dads that what they want for Christmas is a Turbo Man action figure. Terry finds this request ridiculous since it’s so close to Christmas and the product is sold out and says as much to the boy, but he reacts as if Terry agreed to purchase the doll. He runs off and the Opposites are left to assume the kid’s father promised to get the toy and they all find this absurd. The screen then goes black and Terry freaks out as he thinks he’s having a stroke, but Korvo just lets him know they’re being transported to the next scene.

Watch out, Jesse! It’s Sinbad!

And that next scene finds them all outside a store. The Sinbad character (Gary Anthony Williams) comes barging through them and Terry remarks that his presence cannot be a good sign for the quality of this movie. Korvo just gets pissed at the lack of holiday décor around them and the absence of snow. Terry apologizes for taking the advice of the Christian Science Monitor while Jesse suggests they bail. Yumyulak is the only one who seems slightly invested in the film’s plot, but he doesn’t protest when Korvo whips out his device to eject them from the film. Back at the house, Korvo suggests they all split up and do something festive to get the horrible taste of Jingle All the Way out of their mouths. Terry calls dibs on calling Santa, while the other three disperse.

Too late for a Game of Thrones joke? Or, is the joke that a mall Santa is precisely the kind of place where you would see a too late Game of Thrones joke?!

At a nearby soup kitchen, Pupa is ladling out food to the less fortunate while holding up a picture of a lost boy. One of the individuals says “Hey, isn’t that Everett, the little bit bi kid,” which is amusing that everyone just knows him as the little bit bi kid. He’s been working at the bus station so Pupa smiles and takes off to go scope it out. At the mall, Jesse is shown emerging from a store with a pile of gifts and bags under her eyes. She seems worn out, as does Korvo, who is waiting to see Santa. They go to meet Santa, who’s seated on a Game of Thrones styled chair made of dangerous looking candy canes. The two get their picture taken, but look depressed in it. At the house, Yumyulak is taunting the tree with a pitcher of water, but this little game he’s playing doesn’t seem to thrill him like it used to. On the couch, Terry is in actual tears on the phone while the Santa on the other end suggests he deposit another 50 bucks to talk about it. He hangs up and wails “Who even cares?” as the Christmas spirit has been sapped from the Opposites!

The spirit is no longer willing.

Jesse is at the house too and is cutting herself wondering why she doesn’t feel right. Korvo is also perplexed while Yumyulak doesn’t understand why torturing the sexy, dead, tree is failing to make him hard. Jesse asks if anyone wants to go get hit by a bus with her and Terry absolutely does. Korvo figures out the problem though and takes the group back to his lab. He uses an X-Ray device which reveals their hearts are too small. Jingle All the Way sucked so hard that it depleted their Christmas spirit and it must be fixed. Yumyulak suggests drinking the blood of someone full of cheer, but Korvo has a better idea. He suggests they use The Ready Player One Device to go into other, better, Christmas movies to regain their Christmas spirit! The others are onboard as Korvo holds up a VHS of “It Be A Wunderful Life” and tells us, the viewer, to suck his ass because the Solar Opposites are going into all of our favorite Christmas movies!

Yes, it’s that kind of show.

Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You” comes on as Korvo inserts his tape into the device. They’re all shown playing the role of George Bailey during the bridge scene from It’s a Wonderful Life. All just repeat the line that they want to live, except Yumyulak who says he wants a limited edition Animal Crossing Nintendo Switch and to live again. We then see Korvo’s next tape, “Rodolfo the Rogue Nose Deer.” All four are in Rudolph costumes and Korvo declares “Nobody likes our stupid, fucking, noses,” while Jesse adds “Being different sucks.” Clarice (Kari Wahlgren) is there though to reassure the group that she likes their nose, and their musk, then whispers to Terry-Rudolph that she’s at the height of her cycle. He says he can tell and begins to fuck her. As he thrusts, the nose on his costume blinks. The other three just watch and smile. It’s wholesome.

Hard to top a pickup line like that.

Our next tape is “luvindeed,” which I think is a romantic comedy parody of Love Actually which is a movie I’ve never seen. A woman answers her door to find the crew all standing with signs for her. Korvo’s says, “Shut the fuck up,” Terry’s reads “Pobodie’s nerfect,” Jesse’s is “Merry Christmas, please cheat on your husband with me,” and lastly we have Yumyulak who is going with “Epstein didn’t kill himself.” The woman seems touched as she has tears in her eyes. The Opposites then whisk back into the lab and Jesse demands Korvo check their spirit levels. They all still look exhausted and worn out, so it’s no surprise the trip through the other films didn’t work as intended.

In order to save Christmas, the Solar Opposites must Jingle ALL the way!

Korvo can only reason that by not finishing Jingle All the Way they ruined their Christmas spirit. Terry really doesn’t want to go back and points out that the film had no stakes. He adds Kindergarten Cop is a way better Arnold movie because you actually care if the kid lives or dies. I have to agree. Jesse confesses she’s feeling some regret about not being a better father while Korvo insists they have no choice. They can’t just jingle some of the way, they have to jingle all the way! He rummages through a box of tapes and asks the others if they remembered what happened to them on Veteran’s Day? Apparently they all lost their Veteran’s Day spirit and now they don’t support the troops. He finds the VHS of Jingle All the Way and insists they have to go back to the Jingle-verse and finish it if they want to save their Christmas spirit!

Before Christmas can be saved, we must check-in on the Pupa.

We check-in with Pupa who is at the bus station in search of Everett. The guy working there tells him he just left on the 7:36 bus to Vegas where he feels he can be a little of whatever it is he is. We then cut to the bus being driven through the falling snow and Pupa smashes into the windshield causing the driver to scream, then stop, to let Pupa on. Pupa finds Everett who tells him “You don’t want to sit next to me, nobody does.” Pupa then holds up the picture of Everett with his parents and he looks at it like he’s about to cry. It cuts to Pupa smiling, then cuts to the two of them standing on the side of the road watching the bus drive away. They begin walking, presumably to Everett’s home.

Something looks…different.

We then return to the Jingle-verse, only now the title of Jingle All the Way is in a destroyed font. The setting looks like a post apocalyptic war zone which confuses the Opposites as they resume their role in the movie. Korvo checks his device and discovers that time moves faster in the Jingle-verse because 80 years have passed since they left. Terry suggests it might not be all bad since he spots Santa peeking over a fence at them, but when they investigate they find it’s just a bunch of Santa heads on pikes in someone’s lawn.

It’s all starting to make sense.

The group walks the ruined streets in search of some way to advance the plot. Terry is repulsed by a guy taking a shit in the road, and then suddenly that same guy is attacked by a pack of miniature, monstrous, Sinbads. They appear to be eating him and when one hisses at Korvo he tells it to go fuck itself. A one-eyed man emerges from a nearby building and asks what the hell they’re doing out there. He tells them to get inside and they do as suggested. Once there, they ask what those things were and he says they’re mutant Sinbads which roam the streets in search of Turbo Man dolls. They asks why the Christmas presence is gone from this movie and the man explains it’s been like this since Jamie took over. Hearing their “son’s” name, Korvo presses the man and finds out that when Jamie didn’t get his Turbo Man doll they promised him and was subsequently abandoned by his father, he rebelled against Christmas. The events are all covered in his book Christmas is a Lie and on the cover Jamie is depicted as an obvious parody of Donald Trump made even more obvious by the words “Sequel to The Art of the Deal.”

If you’re to get murdered and consumed by cannibals might as well have it be Christmas cannibals.

The one-eyed man continues explaining this current predicament and references a wintertime parade that Jamie forces everyone to participate in at 11:45 PM on Christmas Eve. The others are surprised at how much backstory this guy is able to cram into this moment and Jesse just points out that shallow characters are a staple of the Jingle-verse. The man basically confirms as much, but then also adds that he’s stalling for time so his buddies can kill them and help him prepare their bodies for a feast! He calls them out and shouts “We have the meats!” which causes Korvo to ask if they have Arby’s in the Jingle-verse. The guy just responds with “What the fuck is Arby’s? That’s just what I say,” as his “reavers” emerge to attack the Opposites. Their attire is basically Mad Max meets Christmas, but before they can attack a bunch of them start getting shot. The shooter is Jesse who reveals she stole George Bailey’s gun when they were in It’s A Wonderful Life. It’s depicted as a grayscale revolver with a static effect on it which is pretty neat. Korvo confiscates the weapon on account of Jesse likely shooting her eye out if she’s allowed to hold it. He then says they have to find a Turbo Man doll and gift it to Jamie if they want to end this so the four begin searching. As they leave the building, Terry notes that Bailey didn’t display a gun, but Jesse tells him everyone carried back then including Shirley Temple who hid hers up her “hoo-ha,” “That’s what the song “Lollipop” is all about.”

I feel like he’s seen grosser stuff than this.

A nearby clock chimes indicating it’s now 2. Korvo instructs them all to meet back at this spot and reminds them to spread Christmas cheer wherever they go. While he does so, he casually snaps the necks of attacking Sinbad mutants. Mariah returns as we get a mini montage of the Opposites searching for Turbo Man dolls. Jesse is at a decrepit looking toy store, but is soon attacked by zombies and is forced to flee while shouting, “Ho ho ho!” Terry is at an elementary school when more reavers attack him. As he runs for his life he chooses to shout, “Snowflakes! Sugar plums! Shitty orange chocolate!” Korvo is in the bedroom of a long dead individual who might be clutching a Turbo Man? Hard to tell since it’s off model, but that could be done for licensing reasons. As he tries to pry the toy from the corpse, he’s clearly fighting back the urge to vomit, but eventually fails and throws up all over the corpse and the toy.

Pupa’s Hallmark Christmas movie appears to be headed for a happy ending.

We’re then back at the church from earlier as Pupa leads Everett inside. Everett is reluctant for he feels no one in there wants him to be there, but his dad stands up and runs to him. Everett is confused because he thought his dad didn’t want him around anymore since he confessed he’s a little bit bi. The dad apologizes for being wrong and then adds that Anna Paquin is a little bit bi and she’s an integral part of the X-Men! Everett smiles because his dad saying that indicates he read his Livejournal. As father and son embrace, the Jesus on the crucifix opens its eyes to look at the two. Pupa looks up at it, winks, and the statue winks back. It’s a Christmas miracle!

Meanwhile, the very un-Hallmark plot is heading for a bloody thrilling conclusion!

Inside what remains of Jingle All the Way, the Opposites have regrouped only to confirm none have found a Turbo Man doll. It’s proposed that the group just “sci-fi” themselves out of this mess by making a Turbo Man doll, but Korvo says he already tried that and his 3D printer won’t break copyright laws unless they’re in Guam. Yumyulak is ready to throw in the towel and let the Sinbads eat him while Terry just wishes he never picked Jingle All the Way and instead picked a better Christmas movie like Die Hard, Gremlins, or Piranha 3D. Korvo tells him to shut the fuck up and says they’d still be in this mess then starts off a debate whether or not those are even Christmas movies. Terry defines a Christmas movie as any movie that takes place on Christmas, then concedes Piranha 3D has nothing to do with the holiday. Jesse sees this definition as an answer to their problem because it’s Christmas now. All they have to do is wrap up a plot on Christmas and their movie is over. Korvo agrees and declares they need to find Jamie and apologize for something they did 80 years ago to save Christmas. He cocks the shotgun he apparently found for added emphasis.

Okay, I think we’re done here.

We then switch to a small, warm, home. It’s Everett’s house, and his father is leading a toast before their family. Pupa is there to witness the dad declare that he was wrong to kick Everett out and that everyone should be free to be who they are as that’s what Christ would want. When Everett thanks his dad, he tells him to thank Pupa instead. He turns to Pupa and asks if there’s any way he can reward him for all that he’s done. Pupa whispers into the dad’s ear and he seems surprised at the request. The only clue we receive about what Pupa asked for is the dad replying “And it’s just locked up in a child proof cabinet?”

They’re willing to go to great lengths to save Christmas.

Back in the movie, the Opposites have nailed down where Jamie is hiding – in the penthouse of a giant building. Terry is proud of their son’s success, but before anyone can tell him he’s an idiot the parade marches by. Jesse points out that means it’s 11:45 and they only have 15 minutes to save Christmas! Korvo declares he’s about to go on the naughty list as he grabs a severed Santa head. The rest do the same and they jump into the parade with corpse heads over their own doing the same karate chop motion other Santas are using in the parade. The one-eyed man is marching behind them though and immediately recognizes them. He rallies his remaining reavers this time with “Where’s the beef?” which just further annoys Korvo since he has to know it’s an old Wendy’s slogan.

This is where Jesse basically takes over.

The Opposites are able to ditch the cannibals and Yumyulak tries to assess the defenses of the penthouse. He wears some special goggles to identify the security, plus one guy who is jerking off in a bathroom. By Yumyulak’s words, he’s really going to town as he’s also fingering his butthole. Korvo is distressed at this reveal as men who jerk off are always stronger afterwards. Terry is freaking out, but Jesse breaks the tension by casually smoking a cigarette and producing a pair of knives. She confidently says they have plenty of time to finish this and Korvo agrees. He and Yumyulak just magic up some weapons like Jesse did with the knives, but Terry just smiles and holds up his fists. When Korvo questions his lack of weapons, he says he’s been learning a martial arts kill punch technique as a Christmas present for Korvo. Korvo is overcome with emotion and the two share a sweet kiss before embarking on their journey.

This is probably the image with the least amount of blood I could have taken from this sequence.

We then get a montage of the Opposites going on a rampage. It begins with Jesse entering the building looking innocent. A security guard smiles at her, but then she pulls out her knives and stabs him in the eyes. They head up the elevator where they’re forced to take out security guards, followed by a floor full of Santas, and then a bunch of the Sinbad mutants. As they move through each floor, they acquire more and more blood splatters on their clothing. Terry gets to demonstrate his kill punches, and there’s a cool silhouette shot of them running up the stairs on a green background as they demolish Sinbad mutants. Eventually they’re covered entirely in blood, though it fades for a slow walk shot of the four as they approach Jamie’s penthouse.

This “kid” must be pushing 90 at this point. I guess it’s good they got to him when they did.

Once they enter the penthouse, the blood is almost completely gone from their clothes. They call out to Jamie and indicate they’re here to apologize, but the laughing maniac isn’t interested. He floats over via a contraption not unlike what the Emperor is supported by in The Rise of Skywalker. Terry remarks he’s as ugly and twisted as his soul. When he apologizes for not getting him that doll 80 years ago they find out Jamie has all of the Turbo Man dolls. He’s assembled a T-shaped throne out of them and indicates he’s far more angry about being abandoned than not getting the doll. Jamie tries to explain his backstory further, but Korvo interrupts him since they’re running out of time and no one cares. He demands Jamie accept their apology so they can end this movie, but Jamie just laughs and tells him to eat shit.

The Opposites regroup, but they’re not sure how they can complete their emotional journey without Jamie accepting their apology. Jesse then has a realization and approaches Jamie. He taunts her by asking if she’s come to beg him to accept the apology once more, but she indicates she’s not there for that. She grabs one of the Turbo Man dolls, and declaring Jamie the bad guy of this film, starts smashing him with it.

Remember, it doesn’t matter how you celebrate at Christmas, just who you do it with.

It works! Jesse’s heart responds to the beating and grows in size. She urges the rest of her family to help kick this old guy’s dick into his ass, and they soon jump in. Korvo is the first and his heart starts growing too, followed by Terry. Yumyulak grabs a snow globe and starts beating on Jamie with it and smiles. A narrator them comes in to say, “Against all odds, each time the aliens struck the withered, old, asshole their hearts grew bigger and bigger filled with Christmas joy until they were ready to burst!” Beams of light shoot out of Jamie’s smashed skull and each place they touch is converted back into a joyous, Christmas environment.

Time to bring it in.

Yumyulak notes that Jamie’s blood tastes like Christmas while Terry says he’s filled with warm, hugginess. Korvo declares they’ve restored their Christmas spirit because they killed their son as a family, “And doing things as a family is the most Christmassy Christmas shit you can do.” Jesse tells them all that she loves them and they share a group hug. Then the credits for Jingle All the Way start to roll. Yumyulak doesn’t want to stay and watch them, but Korvo thinks they owe it to the movie since they skipped so much of it. Plus, he can’t imagine it took a lot of people to make this thing. They appear to be over, but before they can leave the room the second unit credits begin and the replicants indicate their displeasure at having to endure more.

Just look at that room. Amazing!

Back at the home of the Solar Opposites, we’re ready to put a bow on this thing. They’re all dressed in festive Christmas sweaters and Terry says he’s glad they spent Christmas together as a family. The rest are in agreement and Korvo is the one to reiterate that doing things as a family is what Christmas is all about. The Pupa then comes in playing a whistle and the mood immediately goes sour. Korvo demands to know how the Pupa got its Harry Potter whistle back and asks Terry if he locked it up like he was supposed to. Terry insists he did, then he yells at the Pupa for ruining the mood and chastises him for not even participating in the family Christmas adventure. They all angrily leave the room and the Pupa pauses his playing to say “Merry Christmas, everyone!” to the camera to close it out.

They’re mean to the Pupa, but I have to agree that introducing Harry Potter to Christmas ruins my mood too.

And that is how the Solar Opposites spent Christmas that one time. The show is definitely crude and it loves to take advantage of not being on broadcast or even cable TV with its language and violence. It has that same Justin Roiland timing that Rick and Morty has with Korvo basically just being a Rick character, only he’s not as mean and his dialogue sounds even more ad-libbed than Rick’s. He speaks fast and Roiland’s pauses, hesitations, and stutters are kept in as part of the character’s traits, he just doesn’t burp. There’s a lot of quick jokes that just fly by via the characters which really helps when one doesn’t necessarily stick since nothing is really allowed to linger. There’s certainly a “metta” component to the show as it’s basically self-aware, though that’s not as obvious in this episode. And while there’s nothing focused on the terrarium plot from the main show, we do get a B plot involving the Pupa.

I am actually a little surprised at how hard Solar Opposites went to incorporate Christmas into its special. It would be odd not to, but I was expecting something more like the Rick and Morty episodes that feature Christmas where the holiday is treated more like the B plot. Here it dominates as we get the Opposites going on adventures through Christmas movies to get easy jokes and references into this finally leading to more of a spectacle in the final act to finish Jingle All the Way. The Pupa B plot is actually a straightforward and simple Christmas plot. It’s brief because it can be since it’s just continuing a joke from the first act where the Pupa is ridiculed for not being onboard with Christmas to setup the payoff in the end. I really like how the main cast is actually very into Christmas when it could easily have made Korvo a Christmas antagonist and Yumyulak indifferent. The tree lust was a bit weird, but it didn’t feature much into the plot. I don’t know if this will ruin some of my Christmas cred, but I have a low opinion of Jingle All the Way so it didn’t bother me that this special rips on it quite a bit.

I’m just surprised he didn’t say “God bless us, every one!”

This one also delivers as a visual spectacle. Everything is covered in Christmas when it needs to be and it certainly feels like that was emphasized since the characters complain about the setting of Jingle All the Way not being Christmassy enough. I get the impression either Roiland or some of the writers on the staff filtered through there and it’s something I can go along with. This episode was probably born from them watching the movie and ripping on it. This one gets it though as if you’re doing a Christmas special, animated or otherwise, I want to see the characters at least put a sweater on or a Santa hat. The special also does a good job of working Christmas into the soundtrack and I’m actually surprised Hulu sprung for some Mariah Carrey not once, but twice.

The Solar Opposites Christmas special is definitely not one for everyone. And it should go without saying that it’s not for kids. If you like the show and similar ones like Rick and Morty or South Park then you’ll probably like this. It earns it’s title of Christmas special in basically every way though it obviously subverts the ending message when a group of dads restore the spirit of Christmas by killing their son. Again, not for everyone and if you’re offended by that type of program then you definitely don’t need this one in your life. If you do like that stuff, even if you’ve never watched the show, then I say give it a shot. The only way to watch it is via Hulu in the US and whatever serves as Hulu in other territories.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 16 – The Pink Panther in: A Pink Christmas

In 1964, MGM released a film titled The Pink Panther. Such a title conjures up a certain image in one’s mind, but the titular pink panther in the film was not an animal, or even alive, but a pink diamond. Someone must have felt though that you can’t have a title like The Pink Panther…

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Dec. 16 – George of the Jungle – “Jungle Bells”

For a show that only lasted 17 episodes, George of the Jungle has had a surprisingly enduring legacy about it. The show was basically conceived as a Tarzan parody and was the spiritual successor to The Rocky and Bullwinkle show given that it was produced by Jay Ward and Bill Scott. The show premiered in…

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Dec. 4 – Family Guy – “Christmas Guy”

Original air date December 15, 2013

In the fall of 2013, beloved family dog, Brian, met his demise. Brian was an extraordinary dog capable of communicating in English with his family members who was often seen walking on two feet. Despite that though, he met a rather ordinary end for a dog when he was unceremoniously struck by an automobile. Life goes on though, and the Griffin family to which he belonged turned to a new dog: Vinny. Like Brian, Vinny was a remarkable specimen as he too could speak English and chose to walk on two legs, plus he functioned as an Italian stereotype and even appeared to have connections to the underworld. The audience latched onto Vinny, and while no one could replace Brian, we all accepted that these things happen and the best thing we can do for Brian is to never forget him.

Of course, that was all bullshit. No one cared about Vinny and Brian Griffin was as unlikable as basically every other member of the Griffin family at the time of his death. And these deaths never stick, so no one was surprised when the show brought Brian back a mere two episodes later as part of Family Guy’s Christmas episode that year.

This episode takes place during the short-lived Vinny era

Brian Griffin had once been one of the few voices of reason on Family Guy. Despite the fact that he was a dog, he seemed like the most real of any of the Griffin family and many of his problems seemed to stem from the fact that he existed in this unreal world. He seemed to deal with the craziness of being Peter Griffin’s dog with booze and therapy and he seemed to delight in needling the youngest member of the family, Stewie, who was always threatening to kill someone or take over the world, but Brian saw through his bullshit. The two were foils and didn’t seem to really like each other, which is partly what made their team-up episodes, like “The Road to Rhode Island,” so successful.

After Family Guy’s cancellation and return to television, Brian underwent a change. Instead of being the voice of reason, he was made a narcissist who manipulated women and was happy to stand on a soap box and lecture folks on things he had no business speaking on. He took on the role of uninformed liberal capable of regurgitating popular talking points with no subtext. In short, he became insufferable as basically every character on the show took this route, just via different means.

In a show basically devoid of charm (and that’s by design), about the only charming aspect would become the Stewie and Brian relationship. Once adversaries, the pair are now best friends. They understand each other and accept each other’s deficiencies. Their relationship seemed to be solidified in the Season 8 episode “Brian & Stewie” in which the two get trapped in a bank vault over a weekend. Since then, not only is Brian Stewie’s best friend, he’s probably a better father to him than Peter and there’s genuine warmth between the two. This being Family Guy though, their relationship can’t just be sweet so the writers also added a weird subtext where Stewie appears to desire sex with Brian. Why can’t we just have nice things?

I have long since ceased to care about Family Guy as it’s not a show I particularly enjoy. It is a frequent contributor to Christmas though, and “Christmas Guy” felt like an episode worth revisiting. We get to relive the era of Vinny and a story about a baby just wanting to get his best friend back for Christmas is certainly a sweet way to approach the holiday. And it should be better, and definitely shorter, than the other major Brian and Stewie Christmas story “The Road to the North Pole.”

They’re getting ready to celebrate Stewie’s “first” Christmas.

The episode begins with a lovely exterior shot of the Griffin house covered in snow and all decorated for Christmas. Given how inept Peter (Seth MacFarlane) is at virtually everything, I am amazed at how well the decorations look. Maybe that’s just the one thing he’s good at? The family is inside watching television and it’s a version of Home Alone with capable robbers. It’s an observational piece where the robbers enter a house and immediately take note of things like toy cars on the floor and frozen stairs so as to avoid them. When the Kevin character appears at the top of the stairs, they just shoot him and he tumbles down the stairs, dead. We then find out that the family is gearing up for the annual Christmas Carnival that takes place at the mall. Lois (Alex Borstein) is particularly thrilled about celebrating Stewie’s (MacFarlane) first Christmas by sharing the carnival with him. Upon saying that, Stewie says “Again?” which is a clever way for the show to acknowledge that no one ages. I think the one-year-old Stewie has celebrated Christmas a dozen times at this point. This also sets up an awful cut-away joke about how Peter enjoys teasing the clerk at Tiffany’s into thinking he’s actually going to buy something. The joke is that no one in their right mind would believe Peter because he showed up wearing Sbarro wrappers for shoes.

Stewie and Vinny were able to form a fast bond in Brian’s absence.

An exterior shot of the mall lets us know the family has already made the short journey. Stewie is decked out in an elf costume and Vinny (Tony Sirico) makes a few comments on it causing Stewie to ask him if he only uses adjectives sarcastically. Vinny, predictably, responds with sarcasm. The family soon notices that there’s no Christmas Carnival, or really any sign of the holiday for that matter. Stewie suggests whoever is responsible will suffer for it and Vinny makes a smart comment that “tough don’t sell in curly-toed shoes.” Stewie suggests to Vinny that he go buy more cologne setting up another worthless, but at least brief, cut-away.

Lois approaches a security guard to inquire about what happened to the carnival. She addresses him as sir, and he tries to correct her by saying “officer,” but she puts him in his place with a “No, it’s sir, and barely sir.” After the guard hangs his head in shame, he explains he doesn’t know using the term small cog to describe his role in the decision making process. This prompts Chris (Seth Green) to comfort his father by saying “See dad, you’re not the only one with a small cog,” clearly referring to his dad’s penis. Both Lois and Peter respond in unison saying “I told you that in confidence!” so apparently husband and wife are both disappointed in the size of Peter’s penis.

SNL did it better.

Stewie then asks if Santa was killed by Muslims, intentionally mispronouncing the word Muslims. This sets up yet another cut-away as Peter declares he hates being disappointed. This one is Peter in a restaurant commenting on the quality of the coffee, only for the server to tell him it’s Folger’s and call him an idiot for liking it. There’s a tag at the end about how Folger’s is only worth drinking if you’ve been tricked into it. I’ll give them a little credit here as when I saw the joke setup I thought they were just going to have Peter play Chris Farley’s character from the same bit on Saturday Night Live.

It just wouldn’t be a Family Guy Christmas without a little Meg torture.

We’re shown another exterior shot of the Griffin house only it’s nighttime now. Peter and Lois are in bed discussing the events of the day. Lois is worried about Stewie as he seemed so disappointed in the carnival’s cancellation. She remarks he’s been acting out all week and Peter brushes off her concerns with a “He’s a baby, how bad can he be?” We’re then shown the family seated for a meal and Stewie is loosening the cap on the salt shaker. Meg (Mila Kunis) takes it and goes to sprinkle some salt on her food only for the top to fall off completely and out pops a giant snake! It bites her and she instantly swells up to gargantuan size.

We change scenes, and get this, there’s another exterior shot of the Griffin’s house to mark the change! Back to daytime, and the family is once again watching TV so we get another Christmas movie parody joke. This time, it’s Miracle on 134th Street and a guy is shown running to his car in a panic because he left his phone in it. The miracle, and the joke, is that the car has been left undisturbed and his phone is fine. Vinny then enters to say he talked to a bunch of guys and a girl (allowing for him to be casually misogynistic) and found out that the mall’s owner cancelled the carnival and he is none other than Carter Pewterschmidt, Lois’s father. Vinny is then shocked at this twist letting out an exaggerated “Oh!” He then takes his leave as he has to get the “Ohs” out as he keeps saying it over and over. Off camera, we hear them gradually decrease in intensity.

Peter resolves to dealing with Carter, but first has to ask Lois if he’s The Little Caesar’s guy. She responds in a manner that suggests this is a frequent question from Peter and he’s relieved to know that Carter is not, in fact, The Little Caesar’s guy. He then likens Carter’s attitude towards Christmas to a gluten-free Santa, setting up yet another cut-away of a Santa waking a kid up in the middle of the night to ask about what the cookies were made out of. It’s yet another dud of a joke.

Peter and Carter do have an odd chemistry when paired-up.

We then setup the next scene with an exterior shot of Pewterschmidt Industries. Carter (MacFarlane) is seated at his desk filling out some paperwork only pausing to flip off the window washer outside because he dared to make a sound. His secretary then calls to tell him the guy who’s face is on all the money is here to see him and Carter hastily cleans up his papers and welcomes the obvious fake in. It’s Peter, who demands Carter bring back the Christmas Carnival! Carter declines telling Peter he hates Christmas because everyone assumes a rich guy like him will give them expensive presents while giving him nothing in return. Peter vows to return Carter’s Christmas spirit to him and then asks if he can take something home with him from his office. Carter tells him no, and he replies with an “Aww, too bad, because I was gonna pick you!” Carter then confirms that Peter is a weird guy.

Stewie, up to his old tricks.

Exterior shot of the Griffin house! This time, from a different angle though. Seriously guys, we don’t need to see an exterior shot of a building before every scene! Especially a familiar setting like the home of our main characters! Anyway, Peter is struggling to zip-up his coat and refusing Lois’s help because he’s a man-baby. Vinny is there to comment on how crappy it is to have a father who hates Christmas. He then goes off on a tangent about how his old man drowned in a bird bath thanks to a cop, but left directions to “Kick Jimmy in the sack. Go Eagles.” When Lois offers condolences, Vinny brushes them aside and tells everyone his dad was a scumbag. Lois and Peter then start discussing the issue at hand, but they’re in front of a window so obviously we’re supposed to ignore them and see what happens outside. Stewie appears, and he rips down the neighbor’s decorations and molests a snowman before apparently setting off a nuclear explosion that destroys everything in sight. Lois talking about her dad’s disgust towards Christmas leads to another cut-away, this time of Carter going down Santa’s chimney on June 16th in a “how do you like it?” joke. It’s not funny.

I seem to remember jokes at the expense of Carter’s balls in another Christmas episode.

We get another repeated exterior shot of the Griffin house. We didn’t even change settings this time! We’re still in the same place! Did they really need to kill this much time? Peter and Carter are in the kitchen and it’s not explained why Carter would bother coming over. Peter is trying to put Carter in the Christmas spirit by showing him how to write a Christmas letter. He informs Carter it’s acceptable to embellish, so Carter reads the letter and the embellishments are all ridiculous like Peter becoming the starting quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Peter tells him to read what he wrote about him only to find out the only truthful thing in the letter is Peter noting that Carter bought a tiny stool for his balls. The camera zooms out so we can see the stool in use and Carter is pissed because he doesn’t want people to know that.

Now that’s unsettling.

We then get an exterior shot of a generic hotel and Peter and Carter are seated on a bed. Peter has a carton of eggnog and tells Carter this will put him in the holiday spirit. Cater tells Peter he hates eggnog, but Peter won’t take no for an answer. It then gets really uncomfortable as Peter forces the nog on Carter and it’s clear this is intended to be a parody of a sexual assault or violent, degrading, piece of pornography. Carter ends up covered in frothy, white, eggnog and Peter starts filming him and instructs him to degrade himself in various ways. It ends with Carter sitting up and telling Peter “You know, I still don’t like Christmas, but I kind of like what we just did.” Apparently, Carter has some odd kinks.

I bet you can’t guess what’s next! Exterior shot of the Griffin house! Peter and Carter are standing outside the bathroom and Peter tells Carter that Christmas is the one day a year where you masturbate like any other but then feel shame afterwards. He goes into the bathroom for a very short duration, and then comes out hanging his head sadly with his shirt untucked. Carter tells Peter that none of this is working and as he explains Vinny casually walks by causing Carter to interrupt his ranting to remark “Huh, different dog.” Peter confirms this and adds that he’s Italian or something too. Carter then goes back into his rant and Peter tells him he had no idea that Carter was Jewish. Carter, shocked at the suggestion, asks if that’s how he’s coming off and Peter confirms as much.

Carter Pewterschmidt: Not Jewish

Smash cut to the exterior of the mall only now it’s all decorated for Christmas! There’s even a giant banner promoting the carnival with Carter wrapping an arm around a seemingly uncaring Jesus. Inside, the place is fully decorated now and Peter is excited to see the Chinese carolers from A Christmas Story are there singing their rendition of “Deck the Halls.” Peter then tells the audience their beloved holiday classic is extremely racist, which is a gross exaggeration and ruins the observational joke. They could have just had Peter give a disapproving look or something and it would have been funnier.

Is there a sadder place to cry?

Vinny then asks Stewie what he’s going to ask Santa for Christmas. Stewie isn’t sure, but once he’s seated on Santa’s lap and faced with the question he looks to his family and the camera pans from each member and rests on an empty space beside Meg. Stewie then starts sobbing and tells Santa he just wants his friend back. When he explains in further detail, Santa deadpans “You want me to put a dead dog under your tree,” and it doesn’t come off like a question. Stewie confirms this, though immediately after he sees a kid walk by with his parents and a new bike and he adds “and I’d like a bike,” with a whimper.

Vinny’s interpretation of Brian.

After yet another exterior shot of the house, we see Stewie all alone watching television. It’s another holiday parody, A Year Without a Santa Claus or Sex and there’s just some uptight dad bitching to his kid about his wife being busy all of the time. Vinny then enters the picture wearing glasses and a sweater. When Stewie asks what he’s doing, he corrects him by saying he’s Brian and does an Italian version of Brian’s “catchphrase” of “Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?” Stewie is not impressed, but Vinny says he put a lot of thought into this gimmick by reading up on politics and even outlining his own novel “Wish it. Want it. You blew it.” He reads some of it to Stewie and it’s just another vessel for Italian stereotypes that goes on too long. He then tries to cheer Stewie up with an early Christmas present, but the box contains a severed foot. Vinny says that was supposed to go to someone else, and we cut to a group of gangster types getting ready to celebrate the death of Johnny the Foot something, only their gift contains a train. They then go into a schtick of trying to figure out who the train refers to getting more and more specific and it just goes on and on and is never funny.

Vinny then gives Stewie his real gift which is a bowling shirt. Vinny says it’s a versatile garment that can be worn for any occasion, as long as it’s at the beach or adjacent to a beach, but Stewie seems unimpressed. Vinny then decides they should head to the toy store where Stewie can pick something out for himself. They do just that and Stewie is still in a mood since the toy store before Christmas is usually picked over. Vinny tries cheering him up by pointing out there’s tons of good stuff and demonstrates with some bronze, sheep, bookends that shine a sad light on Vinny’s childhood.

Yeah, there isn’t much mystery here.

Stewie soon notices someone familiar in the store. He follows the kid only to realize it’s him! Vinny is angry and hungry, so he goes to punch a sandwich while Stewie investigates further. Vinny then returns with a black eye and an angry, personified, sandwich. Stewie asks Vinny for his help, but he’s not really sure what he’s after. When Stewie says he needs help stealing something Vinny is suddenly all-in. Stewie explains the other Stewie is him from the past. He time-traveled to the future to get a new Jolly Farm game he couldn’t wait for. Stewie asks Vinny to distract him so he can steal the time travel device in the other Stewie’s backpack. Vinny assures him he knows just how to distract another Stewie.

Work it, Stewie!

Vinny then intercepts Stewie after he’s made his purchase. He asks the past Stewie if he’s ever done any modeling, and Stewie says “not professionally” clearly ignoring the events of the episode “The Son Also Draws.” Vinny continues to butter him up and Stewie actually starts stripping away layers as he poses allowing for the current Stewie to steal the time travel device from the backpack. He retreats to a storeroom and Vinny soon appears telling him he should probably hurry up as the other Stewie is changing into tap shoes for some reason. Stewie explains he intends to travel back in time to save Brian, causing him to realize this will undo his family adopting Vinny. Vinny, now realizing he was duped into helping Stewie significantly alter his life for the worse, seems a bit sad at first, but then lightens the mood by saying “Hey, I’m man’s best friend, not some stupid baby’s!” He gives Stewie a smile and then sits like a traditional dog would allowing Stewie to pat him on the head and assure him he’s a been a good dog (I do love it when the dog characters on this show behave like actual dogs for brief moments). Vinny then stands and announces to a Georgette that he’s coming home and walks out of the scene causing Stewie to ask aloud to himself “Who the hell is Georgette?”

A genuine moment of sweetness for Family Guy.

Stewie then hops on the time travel device and we’re taken back to the past with no establishing shot – it’s a Christmas miracle! Stewie and Brian are setting up their street hockey game and Stewie realizes he forgot his kneepads inside. He awkwardly informs Brian of this suggesting he was using them for some depraved sex act, before running inside. Future Stewie then appears and as the car destined to kill Brian screams around the corner, Stewie is able to tackle Brian and spare him. He then starts celebrating Brian’s un-death, which confuses Brian. Stewie goes on to explain he traveled from the future to save him, for when Brian died a little piece of him died as well. Brian is still confused since he just witnessed Stewie destroy his time machine, but Stewie explains how he ran into a past version of himself in the future which reminds him that he needs to send the time device back. We then see Past Stewie angrily waiting in the toy store as he says aloud to himself he’s starting to think Vinny wasn’t a real modeling agent. He then makes it creepy by adding “and I don’t think that other guy was a real Penis-Butt Inspector!”

So long, Future Stewie.

As Stewie finishes his explanation to Brian, he starts to fade away. By changing the past, he’s erased his own timeline. He’s not sad though, but rather happy to have saved Brian. His “dying” words are “Merry Christmas, Brian,” which must be a little confusing to Brian since I don’t think they’re near Christmas in his timeline. Right as he vanishes though, the now present Stewie returns (conveniently with a new hockey stick after the ones he set down in the road were run over) and asks Brian who he was talking to. Brian replies, “A pretty awesome guy,” with a warm smile, only for Stewie to mock him by suggesting he marry the guy. He punctuates the jab by hitting Brian in the balls with his hockey stick and then does circles around his writhing body chanting “Stew-S-A” over and over.

Right in the balls.

A final exterior shot of a snowy Griffin house ushers in our final scene. The family is celebrating Christmas by opening their presents. Chris got some oven mitts and an unfunny joke is attached to it. Brian then gives Stewie his Christmas present and it’s a picture of the two of them in Christmas attire with the caption “Friends Forever” underneath. Stewie tells him it’s wonderful, and Brian informs him that Stewie gave him the greatest gift of all and that he’ll elaborate further some day. Stewie then looks concerned and questions Brian if they’re pregnant? Brian corrects him, but then adds that Stewie’s his best friend and he tells him he loves him. Stewie begins to respond warmly, but then gets stern and informs Brian that he’s been making creepy eye contact with him all morning and that he wants it to stop! Smash cut to credits!

Stewie’s gift.

Well, that was a mostly unfunny romp through the Christmas season with some genuine sentimentality tacked on at the end. The episode was a rather unique setup for Family Guy as it was like two, distinct, stories that occurred consecutively rather than at the same time like a traditional A and B plot. We had the first half of the episode which was devoted to Peter trying to get Carter into the Christmas spirit, and then the second half which was all about bringing Brian back. If the writers were just trying to disguise the fact that they wanted to resurrect Brian for Christmas then they did a good job as the episode did not point in that direction at all, until Stewie climbed onto the mall Santa’s lap with less than 10 minutes remaining. Stewie’s grief was handled well though and I did like his interactions with both Vinny and Brian. This being Family Guy, they found ways to punctuate those tender moments with jokes. They didn’t always land (like the weird sandwich bit), but they didn’t take away from the moment, but rather just cut out some of the overripe sweetness of those moments. I did like how they teed up a warm closing scene only for Brian to just completely botch it which felt like the right note for a Family Guy Christmas episode to end on.

Aside from that though, the first half of the episode was a real slog. Almost none of the observational humor Family Guy strives for really landed, but they sure kept trying! The Home Alone parody was all right, but the others were lame. The eggnog scene was gross for multiple reasons, and none of the cut-away jokes accomplished anything aside from eating up time. And what is up with the need for exterior shots before every scene?! The Griffin house did look nice, but I didn’t need to see the same shot over and over! The only thing I did like was Carter finally coming around on Christmas because he was afraid of people mistaking him for a Jew.

In the end, this was a somewhat sweet story about a kid and his dog.

This Christmas episode of Family Guy ends up being memorable because it’s the episode where the show brought Brian back, even though he hadn’t been gone very long. Only one episode separates this one and “Life of Brian,” his death episode, so it’s easy to question if the show didn’t let Brian stay dead long enough to really sell the gag. It’s also Family Guy though and no one watches it for anything more than a sequence of jokes. The actual characters are rarely of any importance. Were fans happy to have Brian back? Did they like Vinny? Did they even care he died? I don’t know, but I do think it was a fun storyline to run with and they wrote themselves a nice out of Brian’s death. Aside from that detail though, this isn’t much good. You’re still better off with watching the inaugural Christmas episode from Family Guy if you must, and I think I enjoyed the Patrick Swayze one more that we looked at a couple of years ago.

If you want to watch “Christmas Guy” this holiday season it should be relatively easy to track down. I think. Adult Swim used to air every Christmas episode from the show this month, probably more than once, but lost the rights to air Family Guy this year so now it’s on the Disney family of channels. I’m assuming channels like FXX will schedule the Christmas episodes like they do for The Simpsons, but it is a bit of an unknown. The show is available on DVD and to stream as part of Hulu, which is probably the easiest way to watch it. If you enjoy Family Guy, and it’s fine to do so, then you probably like this one more than I do and will enjoy it. If you’re someone who does not care for Family Guy then you’ll likely hate this so seek holiday cheer from other sources.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 4 – A Christmas Story (1972)

For today’s Christmas post, we’re going to take a look at A Christmas Story. No, not that Christmas Story, the first one. Way before Ralphie started obsessing over a BB gun, the duo of William Hanna and Joseph Barbera brought us a story about a mouse and a dog trying to get a last-minute letter…

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Dec. 4 – Taz-Mania – “No Time for Christmas”

Before there was an entire broadcast television network owned by Time Warner, there was the relationship that existed between Fox and WB. Fox, needing a lot of content to launch its kid programming block The Fox Kids Network, partnered with WB and Steven Spielberg to bring the world Tiny Toon Adventures. It was a success,…

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Freaks and Geeks

The credited main cast of Freaks and Geeks (left to right): James Franco, Jason Segel, Linda Cardellini, Seth Rogan, John Francis Daley, Martin Starr, Samm Levine

I can remember hanging out with some of my friends at another friend’s house back when I was in high school. I think it was 2001, and we were just riffing on some music when one of my other friends entered the room and remarked that we reminded him of some characters from the show Freaks and Geeks. It was the first time I had ever heard of the show, and I can’t even recall which characters he referenced (probably the geeks). We then all watched Galaxy Quest and had a shared infatuation with Sigourney Weaver’s blond wig.

I never would seek out Freaks and Geeks, even though I valued the opinion of my friend when he said it was a good show. It was short-lived though, which implied that it wasn’t very good, and I was at an age where I was spending most of my time playing video games and not watching TV. If I was going to watch something, it was going to be something animated or maybe Jackass or a CKY video. Over the years though, I would hear more good things about Freaks and Geeks, especially as the cast started to find success in film. I don’t think I ever really talked about the show with anyone in-person and most of the chatter was just all online. I was quite curious about it, but by the time the DVD set came out I was less interested. It was also expensive since it included a lot of licensed music and I didn’t want to get invested in a show that was going to end after 18 episodes. I was late to the streaming platforms, and this was a show that I just never would make time for. Recently, Hulu added it and they got the broadcast cut with all of the licensed music in place (I believe some prior streaming options omitted it), and being that it’s winter and COVID is still a thing, I found myself with plenty of time to finally get to know the characters of Freaks and Geeks.

Lindsay is looking to make some new friends and Daniel is her gateway to just that.

Freaks and Geeks is a sitcom set in the school year of 1980-1981 that aired from 1999-2000. It was created by Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, The Heat, Ghostbusters (2016)) and executive-produced by Judd Apatow (The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Funny People). It was the success of Apatow directed films that really brought posthumous attention to Freaks and Geeks, for the show had a relatively short existence. It’s a show about teenagers and school life with a young, mostly unknown at the time, cast that found itself in primetime on a broadcast network. Network shows set in high school weren’t unheard of in the 90s, but they were usually relegated to the Fox Network which prided itself on being different from the big three of ABC, CBS, and NBC. That network’s hit teenaged show was Beverly Hills 90210, which was more of a soap opera than a sitcom and starred a bunch of beautiful people who looked way too old to be in high school. Freaks and Geeks was set in an unremarkable suburb of Detroit and featured quite young-looking actors (for the most part) in much more of a grounded, real world, setting. It also found itself on NBC and in the unusual position of being a primetime sitcom that was an hour long. I don’t know how Feig and Apatow were able to convince NBC to give them an hour on television in 1999, but they did it somehow. Unfortunately, there was a changing of the guard at NBC in between the show being picked-up and it going to air, and the new boss wasn’t a fan. The show was a critical darling, but it wasn’t a huge ratings hit in terms of 1999 numbers and it was cancelled after 12 episodes. Fans actually had to petition the network to get the remaining 6 of 18 episodes aired, which did happen over the summer in 2000, but on cable.

Since leaving the airwaves of NBC, it would seem Freaks and Geeks has garnered nothing but praise from both critics and viewers, alike. It’s young cast which would have quickly aged out of high school meant that the show was probably never destined for a long run, but it certainly deserved a second season and it would have been a treat to see where Feig and Apatow took things, especially considering that the show was really hitting its stride at the end of its lone season. I suspected that would be the case as I went into the show and it was one of the reasons I resisted it for so long as it always sucks to get into a show when there’s no hope of seeing what would have come next. It’s basically a slice of life type of show so there really was no way for it to ever have a truly satisfying conclusion, but it certainly would have been nice to at least see the cast graduate from high school or something.

Freaks and Geeks may have wound up on the radar of many a comedy fan thanks to Apatow, but it’s the cast that will keep viewers around for 18 episodes. It stars Linda Cardellini as Lindsay Weir who is a high school junior that has always been a gifted student. Academics come easy to her, but when the show begins we find out she recently lost her grandmother and it’s brought on a change in attitude. She has stopped socializing with some of her childhood friends and dropped off of the Mathletes program, a competitive math team. She’s also taken to wearing an old, olive, army jacket and has her sights set on making some new friends. She’s basically been living a life devoted to pleasing the adults in her sphere and setting herself up for the ideal future most parents want for their kids and is now likely having some regrets. She wants to have other experiences while she’s young, and she looks to the so-called “freaks” of her school for that kind of fulfillment.

Busy Philipps (front left) is not part of the opening credits but her character, Kim Kelly, is very much a major player on the show.

Cardellini has gone on to have a successful career in Hollywood, but it’s her co-stars that make up the freaks that have become household names. The freaks are basically just the slackers and kids who have no real academic ambition and just have their sights set on enjoying themselves and one day getting out of their small town. The first one we’re introduced to is Daniel Desario played by a young James Franco. Daniel is Lindsay’s gateway into his circle of friends, which all seem to at least know her from the start, but aren’t close with her. The most eager of Daniel’s friends to get to know Lindsay is Nick, played by Jason Segel. Nick is clearly attracted to Lindsay from the start and plays the nice guy routine. He’s an aspiring drummer and idolizes the likes of Jon Bonham and Neal Peart. Seth Rogan plays Ken, who is more of a sarcastic wallflower at the start of the series who gradually becomes more involved as the show progresses. Daniel’s girlfriend, Kim (Busy Philipps), is the only one who takes a combative posture towards Lindsay’s associating with their crowd. She presents a problem at first as she doesn’t understand why Lindsay suddenly wants to associate with them and finds the girl boring.

Much of the first several episodes are spent on Lindsay trying to fit in with her new group of friends while they try to figure out what she brings to the table. Other forces in Lindsay’s life try to pull her back towards academics or the Mathletes. She struggles to find her place as she’s rather open to discussion and being introspective while her new friends almost all avoid any form of conflict. The only one who doesn’t is Kim, but the others just seem to brush off anything she does or says while Lindsay can’t help but take things personally. As viewers, it’s hard to find much to like about Daniel and Kim early on. They seem eager to take advantage of Lindsay, who has had a more privileged upbringing and access to more of everything, while they come from troubled backgrounds and broken homes. Much of the Lindsay/Kim dynamic gets settled in the fourth episode “Kim Kelly is My Friend.” It begins a bit too familiar with Kim seemingly using Lindsay to her advantage as she wants her mother to see she has made a wholesome friend, or someone her mom will approve of. By the end of the episode they seem to find a new understanding and the title of the episode feels like a true a statement. Plenty of the remaining 14 episodes demonstrate a deepening of the relationship between Kim and Lindsay as Lindsay begins to find her own place. Other episodes, like the following “Tests and Breasts,” put the focus on Lindsay and her relationship with another member of her circle of friends, such as Daniel. Just about every character gets a spotlight of sorts early leaving the rest of the episodes to examine other aspects of school life, relationships, and the like.

Left to right: Bill, Sam, and Neal comprise the geeks portion of the show.

As the title of the show implies, there are two social groups the show focuses one. We’ve discussed the freaks, now lets talk about the geeks. The geeks are, as you probably could have guessed, a more nerdy group who are a bit outside the popular crowd like the freaks, but for different reasons. The group begins the series as a trio and includes Lindsay’s younger brother Sam (John Francis Daley), Neal (Samm Levine), and Bill (Martin Starr). All three are freshmen and in that awkward stage where their shared interests are being forced to compete with the onset of puberty. They’ve always been comfortable with who and what they are, but now are beginning to doubt themselves and all to a different degree. Sam is the most conflicted and confused by everything. He’s a sweet boy who likes the comedy of Steve Martin and Bill Murray and also enjoys Star Wars and playing Dungeons & Dragons. He’s also sweet on Cindy Sanders (Natasha Melnik), but she’s a cheerleader unlikely to ever view him as a romantic possibility. Sam questions if his enjoyment of the nerdier things in life are keeping him from attracting someone like Cindy, causing him to contemplate rejecting them. Meanwhile, Neal is the Jewish son of a dentist obsessed with comedy, but also is very much interested in women. Given his background, it’s not hard to imagine both Feig and Apatow seeing a bit of themselves in Neal and his uncompromising attitude towards finding what’s most funny about a situation or joke, He’s also probably overconfident in his ability to be a real Casanova. Even though he has no luck attracting women, he’s fairly certain that he’ll grow up into someone who is not challenged by such at all. Bill is the most secure in his nerdy ways. He’s not that interested in popularity, and while he likes girls, they’re definitely not a priority at this stage of his life.

The two cliques cross paths at times in the show, but for the most part their stories are self contained. Sam and his friends have their problems to deal with, while Lindsay and her friends have their own. They’re both able to be quite relatable, though this is coming from someone with a bit of a freak and geek background myself, so maybe this show plays differently for someone who was a jock in high school. There are a lot of ongoing plots that the show is willing to just let simmer in the background like Sam’s pursuit of Cindy and some problems at home for both Neal and Bill. For Lindsay, there’s a bit of a “will they or won’t they?” towards her relationship with Nick. She gets caught in a relationship quite quickly with him as a result of her feeling pity for him, but she keeps up appearances by convincing herself that since he’s a nice guy he’s worthy of being her boyfriend, and that’s never a healthy way to begin a relationship. It gets called off after a few episodes and tension is allowed to play out for the rest of the season. It’s definitely something that would have continued into a second season, though at the same time, it’s not exactly a Ross and Rachel situation as I don’t get a sense that the audience is rooting for things to go one way or not. Then again, I was never into Friends and I get the sense most people dislike Ross so maybe it is the same? Nick is at least likable, but it’s reasonable to doubt if he’s right for Lindsay.

I love Tom Wilson on this show. I would have been very interested in seeing how he was utilized in a second season.

The main cast of teens and young adults is great. They absolutely are capable of carrying the show, but thankfully they also don’t have to. Making up the rest of the cast is an assortment of utility players. Lindsay and Sam’s parents Jean (Becky Ann Baker) and Harold (Joe Flaherty) are excellent as parents that try to be supportive and keep their kids on the straight and narrow, but also stumble. Flaherty is particularly terrific in his portrayal as Lindsay’s father as he tends to get frustrated with trying to relate to his daughter quickly so he just makes demands that are only partially effective. He changes as much as the kids as the episodes roll along and anytime an episode lingers on him it’s for the better. It’s reasonable to wonder if he would have followed in the footsteps of other TV dads and taken on a bigger role had the show continued. Dave “Gruber” Allen is also perfectly cast in his role as counselor Mr. Ross. He spends a lot of time trying to keep Lindsay on the path she was on before the show began, but unlike some of his fellow teachers, he doesn’t exactly discourage her from hanging out with her new friends. He doesn’t consider them lost causes and tries his best to be a positive influence on their lives. He’s just a great character because most people can probably remember someone like him from their adolescence. Possibly my favorite member of the recurring characters is Tom Wilson’s Ben Fredericks, the coach and PE teacher the geeks tend to find conflict with. It’s just great to see Wilson outside of the Back to the Future franchise even if he’s playing a Biff-adjacent type of character as it’s not hard to imagine Biff becoming a hard-ass of a gym teacher. He gets a lot opportunity to show his range though leading to some really nice scenes with both Sam and Bill.

As I alluded to at the start of this post, the music licensed for the show plays a substantial role in evoking the spirit of 1980. Every episode begins with Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation” as the main cast is shuffled quickly through a picture day setting at school. Over the course of the first 5 or 6 episodes we’re exposed to the entire self-titled Van Halen debut album, which must have been pricey on its own. There’s also numerous other cuts along the way, some that come as expected while others are a bit of a surprise. It’s mostly era appropriate too, though as a former punk rocker back in the day I feel obliged to point out that Daniel at one point ends up with a copy of Black Flag’s Damaged several months before it was actually released. Music plays a large role in the lives of the freaks as well since they start their own band playing mostly Cream covers. They all have an appreciation for Led Zeppelin and in the last episode Lindsay discovers The Grateful Dead. In an era where televisions only had a few channels and video games hadn’t quite taken over, music was a huge past time for kids and it’s great to see that reflected in the show.

There’s a lot of loose ends when the credits roll on season one, like where Lindsay and Nick’s relationship is heading, but sadly we’ll never get to see how that stuff would have resolved itself.

Freaks and Geeks consists of a simple premise, but one that is frequently hard to execute. It’s difficult to find kids and young adults who can actually act, and while few members of the cast were actually high school age at the time of shooting, they were all close enough. And they’re all really good! It’s not surprising so many have received bigger roles in the years since the show came to an end, some of which were roles from Apatow, but also many found their own way through the entertainment industry. The show is funny, but also captivating. It’s not afraid to be honest with its characters and it tackles some pretty interesting subjects. The only one that I felt stumbled a bit was the requisite drug episode when Lindsay is worried Nick is addicted to pot, which seems kind of ridiculous, but they are kids, I suppose. There are issues of parental infidelity as experienced by a kid and also the issue of one’s mother dating an adult her child is familiar with and not exactly a fan of. Like a lot of Apatow’s movies, the show is rather adept at putting its characters into uncomfortable and awkward situations, for both them and the audience, and we have to see how they untangle the knots. Mostly though, it’s just enjoyable to watch these characters, and the show, grow over its 18 episodes. Some of that growth is intentional and some of it is just the natural progression of a show discovering itself and coming to a greater understanding of what it is, who inhabits its world, and where everything is going. The show was cut down too soon, but the final episode does at least have a touch of finality to it, especially for what I consider the two main characters of Lindsay and Sam. I wish there was more, but I’m happy I finally took the time to watch what we have.


The Christmas Spot Returns for 2020!

Reindeer and fast food can only mean one thing…

Tomorrow is December 1st, and it’s that time of year when this blog goes Christmas! Yes, 2020 has been a horrendously shitty year so Christmas can’t come soon enough. Of course, it’s a Christmas tinged with disease this year as we’re almost certainly going to be asked to quarantine for another holiday as the world waits for a vaccine for Covid-19. I suppose that makes it a Christmas guaranteed to be memorable, though for mostly bad reasons.

Well, if we’re going to be stuck inside for much of December then we’re really going to need to dust off some Christmas specials. As in years past, each day of December leading up to and including Christmas will be met with a blog post about a Christmas special. Some are obscure, while some should be fairly popular, but all are definitely Christmas-related. And if one special per day just isn’t enough, there’s years worth of content to go through! Just refer to the official Christmas Spot index page to find the specials of holidays past.

The good news about 2020 is that there are a ton of streaming options available to the average consumer and thus a plethora of Christmas specials are just a click away! Between Netflix, YouTube, Prime, Hulu, HBO, and Disney+ you should have little trouble finding some holiday specials. Though I did want to take this moment to a pick a few bones with these networks, because some specials are still hard to come by that really shouldn’t be.

And yeah, I am so ready for Christmas this year!

Now, I really don’t have too many bones to pick with Netflix or YouTube, since they’re pretty new to content creation. And I can’t say anything about HBO since I don’t currently subscribe. With Hulu though, I got a problem! The entire series of The Venture Bros. (RIP) is available to stream on Hulu, with one exception – The Christmas Special! Why oh why is that not included? It’s a mere 15 minutes and the only episode of the show that’s a short. Hulu even has the pilot episode of the show, but not this Christmas special. And with HBO looking to get all of the Adult Swim content under its umbrella, it’s unlikely Hulu can go back and get more content without paying big bucks so if you want to watch it, get the DVD, I guess.

The only platform I take issue with is Disney+. The service has been around for a little over a year now and it’s been an okay debut. Some positives (The Mandalorian) mix with some negatives (stability is still an issue), but for the most part I would call Disney+ a success considering there is a lot of content and it’s one of the cheapest platforms around. However, I cannot overlook some glaring omissions in the area of Christmas.

Coming to Disney+ in 2020?

First off, the entire series Buzz Lightyear of Star Command is missing. A lot of Disney Afternoon and Disney Afternoon adjacent shows are still missing, but this one stings a little because it’s the only series based on a Pixar property and it features a Christmas episode! And speaking of Pixar, Disney has yet to add Toy Story that Time Forgot, the sort-of Christmas special that gets aired annually on ABC, but this may be temporary. This year, Toy Story of Terror was added to Disney+ during the month of October so this one may yet surface in December.

One of the best Christmas specials Disney has ever lent its name to is curiously missing from its streaming platform.

A bigger omission and one that seems unlikely to be rectified, is the missing Mickey Mouse special Duck the Halls. Based on the new Mickey cartoons, this one is excellent though Disney has failed to give it a network timeslot because Disney doesn’t love its legacy characters as much as it should. And since the Halloween special from the same universe is still M.I.A., I have little faith in this one being added. Perhaps the bigger omission though, is the classic short Toy Tinkers starring Donald Duck and the duo Chip and Dale. I see no reason why Duck the Halls shouldn’t be added, but I’m guessing this one isn’t there because there’s some gunplay in the cartoon and in particular, Donald pointing a revolver right in the face of the chipmunks. I think every classic short needs to be added, so obviously I don’t think the presence of a gun should keep Toy Tinkers off of the streaming service. Just slap a disclaimer on it and move on! Also missing is the Silly Symphony short The Night Before Christmas and that’s due to a blackface gag. That one isn’t nearly as good as Toy Tinkers so it’s not a huge omission, but I felt like I should point it out.

Lastly, the one that puzzles me the most, is the missing Have Yourself a Goofy Little Christmas. This was essentially the series finale to Goof Troop. It was given a network timeslot in prime time for its initial airing and I guess it’s because of that airing that Disney doesn’t consider it part of Goof Troop? I don’t know, but I expected to find it with Goof Troop last year, but it wasn’t there and it’s still not there!

Give us The Reindeer Dance, Disney!

Anyway, don’t let these shortcomings with our streaming options get you down. There’s still a lot of Christmas content to consume out there, and as the days go by, I’ll do my best to point you towards the best place to view the specials. So get cozy, grab a festive beverage, and enjoy the ride! I’ll have more posts about toys and junk after Christmas has come and gone.


Dec. 15 – Animaniacs – “A Christmas Plotz”

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Original air date December 6, 1993

It’s rare when you encounter a cartoon series that has back-to-back episodes dedicated to Christmas, but that happened with the first season of Animaniacs. If you’re not familiar with the show, Animaniacs is essentially the spiritual successor to Tiny Toon Adventures as another Steven Spielberg presented cartoon series. It, even more so than Tiny Toons, draws inspiration from the golden era of cartoons when guys like Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, and Friz Freleng were making audiences laugh at the movie theater. The series is a cartoon variety show with the main characters consisting of the fictional Warner brothers and Warner sister:  Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. It paired them up with many other newcomers like Slappy Squirrel, The Goodfeathers, and perhaps most famously the duo of Pinky and the Brain.

 

Animaniacs premiered on the Fox Kids network in the fall of 1993 and anchored Fox’s weekday afternoon lineup. Perhaps that’s why the producers and writers felt like they had room for multiple Christmas episodes. They aired back-to-back with a week of reruns in between with this one airing on December 6, 1993 and they were the last new episodes of the show to debut in 1993. Reruns took the Warners and Co. the rest of the way with new episodes premiering in 1994. Like a lot of Fox programs, the initial season was a direct to syndication order of 65 episodes with supplemental seasons tacked on. The show ran until 1998, finishing up on Kids’ WB after 99 episodes, and was followed by a direct-to-video movie, Wakko’s Wish, which is coincidentally a Christmas affair. It seems odd that the show wasn’t given one additional episode to get it to 100, an achievement it certainly deserved, but maybe that’s why Wakko’s Wish exists.

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Want to make an episode feel special? Just dress-up the opening credits a bit.

Animaniacs mixes a lot of slapstick humor with satire of celebrity culture. There’s numerous musical segments, honestly more than I remembered when I went back and watched it, and lots of micro segments which many fans probably recall fondly. I’m speaking of the Good Idea/Bad Idea stuff or that little kid who likes to talk about some other person named Randy. It also poked fun at broadcast standards via the Wheel of Morality and is also quite notable for slipping a few risqué jokes past the censors (Finger Prince?). It wasn’t a cheap show and often featured some of the best animation and musical numbers on television. It feels like a show that couldn’t exist today because of this, but Hulu is reportedly bringing the show back in 2020. It remains to be seen what the show will look and sound like, but most of the original cast is back onboard and it’s hard to imagine Amblin Entertainment allowing the show to look worse than it did 20 years ago.

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What’s better than dressing up the opening title sequence? Adding an homage to the old CBS Special Presentation bumper! Gets me every time.

The very first segment of the first Christmas themed episode is the one we’re looking at today:  A Christmas Plotz. Plotz refers to the name of the fictional CEO of the Warner Bros. Company Thaddeus Plotz (Frank Welker). He is ostensibly the one responsible for ordering the Warners be locked away in their tower, as detailed during the show’s infectious opening. He’s a miserable old miser, so you can probably see where this is going. Can Animaniacs do a worthwhile parody of A Christmas Carol, or is this yet another forgettable retread? Let’s find out.

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Warner Studios all ready for Christmas.

The episode begins with the fake news reel explaining the origins of the Warner Bros. Yakko (Rob Paulsen), Wakko (Jess Harnell) and their sister Dot (Tress MacNeille) were classic cartoon characters deemed too zany and crazy to exist. Their cartoons were blacklisted and they were sealed away, along with the Warners themselves, in the studio’s water tower. This news reel begins many episodes of the show, but this time it’s presented with snowflakes falling all around. These snowflakes carry over into the opening title sequence and I do love when shows dress-up their opening credits for Christmas! The Steven Spielberg cartoons were frequent contributors to such.

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Thaddeus Plotz is a man in need of some Christmas spirit.

When that business concludes, we begin the show. It’s Christmas time at the Warner Studios lot and some carolers are cheerily singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” In his office, Thaddeus Plotz is not enjoying the festive singing. He opens his window to scream at them and fling fruit cake as well. It seems his subordinates all give him fruit cake at this time of year, even though he hates it (doesn’t everybody?). As he returns to his desk, his security guard Ralph (Welker) enters the office. Plotz instructs him not to sit down as this won’t take long, but Ralph interrupts him by going into a little prepared speech. It seems he expects this meeting to end with him receiving his Christmas bonus, and he thanks Mr. Plotz for letting him work there and presents him with yet another fruit cake. Ralph is the classic dumb guy cartoon archetype. He frequently starts sentences with “Ahh,” or “Duhh,” and adds random plurals onto certain words thus making him immediately sympathetic, which is important for what follows.

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This image makes me feel genuinely crushed.

When Ralph finishes his little speech and presents Plotz with the fruit cake the old man is able to put on a happy face briefly despite his disgust. He then holds up a line graph which apparently details rising costs directly tied to the damage caused by the Warners. It’s Ralph’s job to keep them in line, and he’s failed miserably. Plotz fires him on the spot, then wishes him a sincere-sounding Merry Christmas. As Ralph’s eyes well-up with tears, he slumps his shoulders and walks out.

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This one features a Slappy cameo, but sadly she’s the only one.

That night, Plotz is still busy in his office with budgetary matters. He’s recording a voice memo in which he mentions that in order to cut costs employees will soon be expected to provide their own toilet paper. As he finishes up, an apparition appears before him. It’s Slappy Squirrel (Sherri Stoner) in the Jacob Marley role. She’s mostly transparent and blueish with chains draped over her and isn’t particularly happy to be there. When a frightened Plotz demands to know why she’s here, she pulls out a notebook and reads her lines about him being visited by three ghosts. When he asks why, she tells him she doesn’t know as she lost the rest of the script. She then marches out of there grumbling about how she’s doing this for scale and remarks that she needs a new agent.

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Bring on the ghosts! First up is Wakko as the Ghost of Christmas Past.

With Slappy gone, Plotz thinks he hallucinated her due to working too hard. He drinks some water and then the phone on his desk begins to ring. He answers it and a spectral Wakko pops out of the receiver. He’s mostly blue save for his red nose and hat. He’s also dressed in a manner similar to the classic interpretation of Tiny Tim and immediately goes into a little musical number about taking a trip back to the past to see how Plotz got here. He sets up a little movie theater for the two and finishes his song with a kiss. The reel-to-reel projector is fired up as Wakko enjoys some popcorn and we’re taken to our first scene of the past.

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This is a pretty on-brand way for Wakko to present the past to Plotz.

It’s the birth of Thaddeus Plotz! His mother (Nancy Linari) is resting comfortably and seems quite content with her new babe, but then the doctor brings her the bill and little Thaddeus jumps up in anger. He’s still ticked about the whole spanking of the bum thing by the doc and informs him that he’ll be hearing from his lawyers. We’re then shown a five-year-old Plotz as he confronts a mall Santa surrounded by said attorneys to make his annual demands of St. Nick. He expects many gifts, including a horse, and Santa seems bewildered. The Plotz of the present then informs us he was gifted a pony that year and he still seems ticked off by it. Plotz demands this farce end, but Wakko then shows him another vision of the past, one he promises is the worst. This time he’s an adult and seated behind his current desk. He’s telling an old man (Maurice LaMarche) his services are no longer needed, despite him begging to be allowed to keep his job. That old man was his dad, and Plotz still sees nothing wrong with usurping the company from his old man as he allowed him to keep his medical benefits.

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You just knew they would utilize the present pun. Dot even feels the need to draw attention to it by pointing it out.

Wakko and his accessories then vanish as Plotz returns to his desk once again questioning if what he just saw was real or not. He sits down at his desk and blames his vision on bad cocktail weenies (because that food was considered inherently funny in the 90s, like cheese) when he notices a large present on his desk. He thinks it’s going to be another fruitcake, but a spectral Dot pops out dressed in old-timey clothes and demands to know who he’s calling a fruitcake. She also points out the pun of her being the Ghost of Christmas Present and popping out of a present. She too has a little song to sing, and as she kicks away the nameplate on Plotz’s desk we can see his own name was misspelled on it (Thadius), though I don’t think that’s a joke just an animation goof.

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Well, at least they’re happy.

Dot takes Plotz to a trailer park, and I bet you can guess who lives here. It’s the home of the recently fired Ralph who is seated in an easy chair trying to calm his son (Paulsen) who is irate with Plotz for firing his dad. He assures the boy that everything will be okay. The pair are summoned to dinner and we get to meet Mrs. Ralph who inexplicably looks and sounds exactly like her husband. Their kid seems well-adjusted and perfectly fine though, so he apparently hasn’t been ravaged by his incestuous origin. Mrs. Ralph is serving what they can afford for Christmas dinner:  Turkey Jell-O. It looks pretty terrible, but Ralph is excited to eat it while little Ralph Jr. is decidedly not happy about this current situation. He claims to the camera he’s adopted, and we believe him, and vows to get even with Mr. Plotz some day.

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And Yakko makes three.

Plotz is a bit unnerved by Ralph Jr’s hatred of him and wants out. He soon finds himself back in his office. He’s apparently accepted the reality of this evening as he’s now concerned about the arrival of the third ghost. The clock striking midnight and a thunderstorm brewing outside seem to spook him as he tries to call for security, forgetting momentarily that Ralph was security. He then tries to leave, but finds the door locked. Turning around, he screams when he sees the third ghost. A being resembling the Grim Reaper approaches, sickle and all. It pins him to the door and says his name in a deep, hollow, voice as it extends a boney finger towards Plotz’s throat.

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Yakko’s song and dance number is certainly elaborate, but is it funny? Eh…

Yakko then emerges from the robes to announce he’s the Ghost of Christmas Future. He ditches the spooky stuff and sports a tuxedo as he goes into an elaborate song and dance routine announcing his arrival and intentions. It’s complete with female dancers (voiced by Carol Lombard, Kimberly Fligsten, Brianne Lepon, and Sara Ford) which Yakko hits on mercilessly while Plotz is dragged around and forced to keep pace. Yakko slips in insults here and there while Plotz drops his fear for a minute to just get angry and annoyed. The presence of the women allow Yakko to work in his “Hello, nurse” catchphrase, and the whole thing ends with Yakko tossing Plotz off of the magical stairs that appeared to land in an armchair. I do not know if this song is a direct parody of anything, but Yakko does go into a brief Groucho bit for a moment.

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I wonder who that guy could be?

With both Yakko and Plotz seated comfortably, Plotz looks around and realizes they’re still in his office. Only now it’s not his office. Yakko directs Plotz’s attention to the new man in charge, an angry guy with a huge, bald, head. He’s yelling about Urkel looking ridiculous with his pants pulled up so high at his age as he’s on the phone with someone. He slams it down and returns to his work and Yakko points out to Plotz that this man is actually Ralph Jr. all grown up. It seems he did get his revenge on Plotz, as we soon find out his fate. Unlike Scrooge, Plotz is still alive in this future, but he has suffered a fate worse than death. He’s been made the new Ralph and tasked with keeping the Warners in line. He looks mostly the same, only he has an unkempt mane of gray hair and his eyes are a bit sunken looking.

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Old man Plotz is forced to try and keep pace with the Warners. It’s actually pretty impressive a man of his age can do this much.

Plotz is horrified by the sight, and it only gets worse. The Warners then show up to taunt him, and as he chases after them with a net Ralph Jr. emerges from his window to call down to him. He admonishes him for not catching them, and when Plotz informs Ralph that they’re too fast, he unceremoniously fires the old man punctuating it with a cheerful “Merry Christmas,” just as he did to his father years ago. The future Plotz walks away disheartened, while present Plotz begins to pout and cry.

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The ghosts may be done, but the Warners still have a role to play.

Plotz soon realizes he’s back in his office. It’s Christmas morning, and now he has his chance for atonement. He kisses his desk when he realizes where he is and races over to the window. He goes into the usual routine as he calls out to some kids asking what day it is. It’s the Warners in their holiday threads, only now they’re not blue ghosts. They tell him it’s Christmas Day, and Dot remarks to the camera how he’s not too bright. Plotz then throws down a sack of money and tells them to go buy the biggest fruit cake they can find and deliver it to Ralph’s house. He even tells them to keep the change. Wakko declares that they’re rich and the trio grab the money and run.

 

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Plotz never really atones for his mistake, he just tries to cover it up.

At Ralph’s trailer, the whole place is bouncing up and down with Christmas cheer. The family is singing around their 8″ tall tree when a knock at the door disturbs their celebration. Ralph Jr. answers it to find it’s Plotz armed with a stack of presents. He barges in and demands to know why he’s hearing that Ralph left the studio. A confused Ralph points out that he fired him, but Plotz corrects him by saying he inspires him! He then charms Mrs. Ralph, before turning his attention to Ralph Jr. He begs the boy not to take over the studio, and then tries to bribe him with a pony. The kid demands a horse instead and Plotz makes an expression that basically says, “I deserved that.”

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Grovel, you swine!

Another knock at the door gets Plotz’s attention and he opens it to find the Warners. They tell him they brought the fruit cake and an excited Plotz races outside wanting to know where it is. They tell him they got the biggest they could find, and they weren’t kidding. A helicopter delivers a massive fruit cake, and drops the two-story monstrosity right on top of Plotz. His feet stick out from under it and all we can hear is unintelligible ranting. The Warners jump on top armed with spoons and assure him they can have him out by Easter. Wakko then wishes us all a merry Christmas as the sound of Christmas bells take us out of the segment.

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A fitting punishment for a lifetime of dickish behavior.

And that’s it for “A Christmas Plotz.” It’s followed by a musical number based on The Little Drummer Boy in which the Warners assume the role of the drummer and lead us through a fairly straight interpretation of the tale. It’s not particularly memorable, but if you like your Christmas with a side of Jesus then it’s probably right up your alley.

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The Warners get the last word, per usual.

“A Christmas Plotz” is pretty entertaining, as most cartoons starring the Warners tend to be. It’s a bit disappointing that a show as creative as Animaniacs went in this direction though as it didn’t really bring anything new to the table. It’s a pretty faithful adaptation of the old story truncated to 12 minutes or so and punctuated with jokes. The jokes are fairly easy, but still humorous. It’s still fair to question whether or not we ever needed Animaniacs to go this route. An original Christmas story would have been preferable, but obviously more work. I suppose I’m glad the Warners were thrust into the ghost role as opposed to that of the Cratchits. Maybe another holiday parody would have worked better? The slapstick nature of Home Alone would have lent itself well to the show, or maybe just have the Warners run wild through Santa’s workshop? A Christmas Carol parody is the lowest rung on the holiday special ladder, and I just can’t help but feel that this show is better than this. At least this show looks great as this particular episode was entirely animated by the renowned TMS Entertainment. Episodes of this show really don’t come any better in terms of looks than what you’ll see here.

img_0461Thankfully, if you want to spend the holidays with the cast of Animaniacs you have other options. There’s the episode that follows this which is less cohesive, but pretty fun. There’s also a Christmas cartoon starring Slappy featured in the penultimate episode of the show that’s fodder for a future countdown. And there’s also the previously mentioned Wakko’s Wish if you want to spend an even longer amount of time with the gang at Christmas. That feature has the added appeal of making use of the full ensemble so it’s a bit like a celebration or grand finale for the show. If you’re really into the show though, you’ll probably just want to watch all of them. And if so, don’t forget the excellent Pinky and the Brain holiday special!

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This cartoon is fine, but the episode that follows makes better use of the entire cast making it my preferred Christmas episode of the two.

If you do indeed wish to invest some of your Christmas viewing time into Animaniacs then it’s pretty easy to do so. The entire show is available to purchase on physical media or through digital means. By far, the easiest way though is via Hulu which has the entire series plus the movie on it. It also has other Spielberg cartoons so you can really indulge in some 90s animation and basically all of them feature a Christmas special or two. There’s certainly room for Animaniacs at Christmas time, so hopefully you find an episode that works for you.


Disney+ Revealed

Disney+It was only a matter of time until big companies got into streaming. Netflix was allowed to practically monopolize the market for years before facing any sort of real challenge. Now we have Hulu, Prime Video, as well as numerous niche offerings like WWE Network and Crunchyroll which cater to a specific type of fan. Premium channels like HBO can now be subscribed to without a cable subscription as more consumers look to change how they watch television. With Warner Media announcing in November of 2018 that it intended to offer a streaming service, it only made sense that Disney would follow suit. Not only did Disney possess its own vast library of works, it had recently entered into an agreement to acquire 20th Century Fox adding even more volume. And given how much money Disney had paid to acquire Fox’s portfolio, it only makes sense that the media giant would want to find a way to monetize that investment sooner rather than later.

We’ve known for months that Disney+ was coming. We’ve also known it was going to feature the entirety of Disney’s film library. This was notable when announced because it likely means the long-vaulted film Song of the South will be readily available for the first time in decades. Song of the South is a live-action animated hybrid first released in 1946. At best, it’s content was deemed racially insensitive and at worst flat-out racist as it sought to portray a setting of happy plantation workers in a post Civil War setting. Most historians seem to agree that Walt Disney’s heart was in the right place when the movie was made, but also acknowledge it’s very problematic. Today, most fans will just recognize the animated characters from the popular Disney World and Disneyland attraction Splash Mountain. Disney has long sought to distance itself from this film and never released it on VHS or DVD in the west. It has been released in some parts of the world where the issue of American slavery is less thorny. It’s likely appearance on Disney+ will be the first time many Americans are exposed to the film outside of a bootleg.

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Disney+ will likely be how a lot of folks will first experience the controversial Song of the South.

A 70-year-old film that’s not very good wasn’t going to drive the success of Disney+ though. Song of the South will probably have high stream counts when the service launches and gradually fade away. The rest of the Disney film library will do a lot of the heavy-lifting, but how much was that going to be worth to consumers? Disney, more so than any other studio, has a pretty loyal following of fans that still buy its movies on physical media. While it’s certainly convenient to have films readily available on a streaming platform, what’s the value to Disney fans that already have most of these movies?

UPDATE:  Apparently “entire film library” does not apply to the controversial ones as it is now being reported that Song of the South will indeed be excluded from Disney+ when it launches this fall. In addition to that, Dumbo will see the infamous Jim Crow scene annexed from its film. Song of the South is not a good film so it’s not much of a loss to not have it on the streaming service. In the spirit of not hiding from one’s past, I would have liked to have seen it included with a disclaimer or even an introduction added on, but I’m also not surprised. Removing an entire scene, a rather pivotal one at that, from Dumbo is more concerning. If they’re going to start chopping up their films to remove questionable content (and there’s more than just Dumbo) then I’d prefer they just not include them on the platform.

Disney was going to have to make Disney+ special, and on April 11th the company at long last laid out what it envisioned for the service. The most important detail, as always, is cost. The service will launch in November 2019 at a cost of $6.99 per month in the US, or $70 per year. Other regions will follow as the company likely looks to stagger the release to get a read on how much their servers will have to work. Presumably, the cost will be the same or roughly the same in other parts of the world. It’s an aggressive price point, not in that it’s too high, but in that Disney clearly looks like it’s trying to undercut Netflix, which just raised its prices. Disney owns a 60% stake in Hulu so it likely doesn’t want to undercut that too much. And with the confirmation that it will be ad-free, Disney+ already looks like one of the better bargains in the streaming world.

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A concept of what fans can expect to see when they login to the service.

Disney+ will also include not just Disney films, but Star Wars and Marvel as well. This isn’t much of a surprise, but there probably were some wondering if one, or both, of those big brands would be sent to Hulu instead. It was also touted that the launch of the service will feature the newly released Captain Marvel, currently airing in theaters at the time of this writing. It’s interesting that Captain Marvel was highlighted, but not Toy Story 4 which is set for release this June. At the time Disney+ launches, Toy Story 4 will likely be heading to home media and digital for the holidays. That film might be the first litmus test for what fans can expect between home video and streaming release. It would be understandable if Disney wants a gap between the two so as not to harm home media sales, but it also needs to make its streaming service attractive in regards to new releases.

Disney knows it will need some original content to compete with the likes of Netflix, and it announced a few new shows destined for its streaming service. The Mandalorian is a Star Wars themed show about a bounty hunter that looks like Boba Fett because that character is inexplicably popular. There will also be an animated show based on Marvel’s What If? line of comics and a live-action show called WandaVision focusing on Scarlet Witch and Vision. Some what of a surprise was the announcement that the “live-action” Lady and the Tramp is going to be a direct-to-streaming film on the service as opposed to a theatrically released film. I suppose Lady and the Tramp isn’t as popular as the likes of Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast, but given how much money these live-action remakes have been making it’s still a bit of a surprise to see it bypass the theater.

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The Simpsons “welcome” their new corporate overlords.

Perhaps the biggest surprise though was reserved for a non-Disney property:  The Simpsons. America’s favorite animated family is coming to Disney+ and all thirty seasons will be available on day one. I think most assumed that The Simpsons was destined for Hulu, but apparently Disney feels the brand is too valuable for that platform. It’s probably right, though this likely spells the end for The Simpsons World, the streaming portion of the FX Now app which currently is home to the entire series for anyone with a cable subscription. That app was limited, though it was still useful to have every episode on demand, with optional commentary no less. I assume the show will still air on FXX, assuming Disney keeps the channel around, but the on demand options to cable subscribers are probably about to decrease substantially.

What wasn’t touched on in as much detail as I would have liked is what is to come of the television properties Disney owns? Specifically, can we expect to see the entire Disney Afternoon collection of shows on this service? The announcement did make mention of Disney Channel programming so it’s expected all or most of the current programs will be there, but it wasn’t elaborated on. I also want to know if the classic theatrical shorts will show up, and if so, will they be remastered in HD? Some packages of shorts are currently available on Netflix, so it wouldn’t surprise me if those make it to Disney+ early on, but I’m really hoping all of the classic animation is included.

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Disney+ could be a place where television shows like The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, one that has been ignored by Disney since it ceased airing, could finally find a new home.

Given the amount of content and the low introductory price, I think it’s safe to say that Disney+ will have a pretty successful launch. My household will likely be a day one subscriber as my kids probably average one Disney movie per day and this will save ware and tear on my Blu Ray collection. I suspect the price-point to change much faster than Netflix changed its pricing. The most popular Netflix subscription just increased to $13 per month, nearly twice what Disney+ will cost in November. There’s no way Disney, a company that really loves money, will stay at the low-end for long. It’ll be interesting to see how aggressively the company raises that number, with it likely staying put for a year or so. Disney will probably try to incentivize consumers to subscribe to the service in a package with Hulu and ESPN.

What we’re also likely to discover in the coming years as well is just how large an appetite the consumer has for streaming content. Cutting the chord used to be a radical concept, but now is starting to become pretty normal. It was once a way to drastically reduce the cost of television in the average household, but with more streaming options showing up spreading things around it’s no longer the value it once was. My guess is that consumers will become less loyal to any one brand and will be constantly switching between services on a monthly basis. That is, until the content providers start forcing or aggressively incentivizing consumers to subscribe to deals that last for months, or even years. It’s even possible they’ll be forced to turn to contracts, and then we’ll basically be right back to where we were with cable companies. The cycle will repeat.