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March 28, 2023

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

By Joe
Original release date March 19, 1993

When I was a child, going to the movies was a pretty big deal. It didn’t happen often so when it did it felt like a special occasion. Most of the Disney films of the late 80s and 90s were seen by me at home. Batman, Ghostbusters, every Back to the Future movie- all films I saw on VHS instead of in a movie theater. Movie rentals were cheaper and more convenient so I totally see why a family of four would see few films in a theater, especially when one considers the varying tastes that exist between children and adults. One movie I most definitely did see in theaters was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in 1990. That was an event for a child like me and my parents apparently recognized that fact and took my sister and I. They did not take us to the sequel and I had to hear about characters like Tokka, Rahzar, and Super Shredder from kids on the playground before finally seeing the film after Christmas 1992 when I received the VHS as a gift. 1992 was also the year my parents uprooted our family to move from New Hampshire to Virginia. It was a big move as we were leaving our friends and family and the only people we would know were the other families being uprooted for the same reason – work. My dad’s job relocated and that’s what you did. We gave it a shot, but by the late spring of 1993 we were already making our way back north because it just wasn’t working. Maybe because we had so little to do on weekends and because my parents constantly felt bad about moving us, we went to the movies the weekend of March 19th of 1993 and if you know your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or just looked at the subject line for this post) then you know why we were at the movie theater that weekend.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III is rather infamous for the franchise. It arrived when the initial wave of Turtle-Mania was really starting to subside. The first film was released in 1990, little more than 2 years after the cartoon debuted and roughly a year after the franchise really took off. The sequel was fast-tracked for a 1991 release, and while it was catered more towards a young audience, it failed to match the box office of the first one. It still made plenty of money though and everyone who had a stake in the franchise felt they could get at least another film out of it. Seemingly planning for a lower return, the budget was slashed and the film was allowed to be a soft reboot. There was no Shredder, no Foot Clan, and barely any New York! Would it work? Would kids continue to show up for their green-skinned heroes?

For me, personally, 1993 was the year I moved away from TMNT. Christmas of 1992 was the Christmas of Super Nintendo for me and I probably received more toys based on Batman Returns than TMNT. By the spring, I was fully onboard with X-Men and that was my preferred toyline with distractions also coming from the Batman: The Animated Series line and Transformers Generation 2. That summer, I would buy my last TMNT toys from Playmates until the 2003 line was launched. The honor fell to the Turtle Trolls which I just thought were neat for some reason. I also got the ninja-action Raphael who could perform a very poor backflip. I bought that figure because it had more of a Mirage style to the toy and I mistakenly thought the turtles were growing up with me, but that was not to be. As I sat in my chair at the theater in March of ’93, I can remember being excited. I had a big bag of popcorn on my lap, a giant soda in the cupholder beside me, and I was just waiting for the lights to go down and for the trailers to start. As I sat there, a boy came stumbling up the ramp towards my aisle seat with his hand over his mouth. Vomit soon starting squirting out from in between his fingers and the dam burst soon after. It fell to the floor maybe 10 feet away from me. The ushers and other staff of the theater did as good a job as they could cleaning that mess up, but there was no covering that vaguely sweet with a hint of tang odor which would permeate throughout the entire showing of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

One of my last TMNT purchases as a kid were these silly trolls.

Sitting through a vomit-scented theater to watch this film probably feels oddly appropriate to many. Truly, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III is not thought of well. It’s been so poorly received over time that it’s basically been retconned as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time to seemingly capitalize on the affection people have for the completely unrelated video game. As a kid, I liked it enough and I would even spend some of my birthday money that summer on a VHS copy of the movie. And I do recall watching it quite a bit, but at some point my appetite for the movie did wane. Now, just a little over 30 years removed from the original release, I feel like it’s time to go back with fresh eyes and give the movie its due. And personally, it seems like the appropriate way to celebrate my 1,000th entry on this blog. Yes, this is post number 1,000 and we’re dedicating it to the cinematic masterpiece Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III was written and directed by Stuart Gillard who had previously directed Paradise (1982) and The Return of the Shaggy Dog. Returning for their third tour of the franchise as the voices of Michelangelo and Leonardo respectively were Robbie Rist and Brian Tochi. After skipping out on the sequel, Corey Feldman was back as Donatello while Raphael got his third voice in as many films from Tim Kelleher. Paige Turco was back to reprise her role as April O’Neil and also returning was Elias Koteas as Casey Jones, a character written out of the sequel because he was deemed too violent. James Murray took over as the voice of Splinter, and we’ll get to the why very soon, while we have a bunch of new villains and supporting cast brought onboard as well.

The costumes for the turtles were a clear downgrade from the first two films.

By far, the biggest change from the first two films to the third is the choice to go with All Effects Company for the costumes and puppetry over The Jim Henson Company. Likely due to the film’s lower budget, All Effects had the unenviable task of taking over for the company best known for creature effects and the change was obvious. The turtles now have a mostly uniform look with their own personal features basically cast aside. They’re still mostly the same shade of green, have the same colors applied to the bandanas and various pads, and still retain the freckles. They just look all together more fake. The masks especially look more like helmets with mouths on them. The nuance in the mouth movement seems to be reduced in favor of just flapping beaks and the costumes themselves look more like rubber suits than before. There’s no warmth to the look of the characters and they more resemble the live shows than the first two films. Not helping matters is we’ve largely abandoned the sewers for this film in favor of bright, outside, shots that do no favors for the costumes. Splinter is also a new puppet and he looks decidedly worse and it’s likely the switch in companies that accounts for Kevin Clash being out as the voice of the character.

The other major change for the third film is with the antagonist. Shredder was seemingly killed off at the end of The Secret of the Ooze, and rather than bring in a new leader for The Foot Clan, the film just chose to ignore them all together. Instead, we get a time travel story where April, after buying a weird scepter at a flea market, gets sucked into feudal Japan and replaced by a man from that era by the name of Kenshin (Henry Hayashi). Unfortunately for April, Kenshin is caught in the middle of warring factions lead by his dictator of a father Lord Norinaga (Sab Shimono) and a collection of rebels lead by a woman named Mitsu (Vivian Wu). Mitsu is also Kenshin’s lover so he has a vested interest in ending the conflict with as little bloodshed as possible, but his father is uncooperative and pretty angry to see his son replaced by a strange woman. He’s also being influenced by a tradesman by the name of Walker (Stuart Wilson) who is essentially profiting off of the war and has a vested interest in keeping it up. April, upon being thrust into the past, is mistaken for a witch and imprisoned. The turtles need to go back and save her as Donatello, through some sort of plot magic, is able to infer that they only have 60 hours to do so. And to make things simple, time will move in sync between the two periods as the four brothers are replaced by four honor guards when they travel back leaving Casey and Splinter to keep them (and Kenshin) occupied.

The movie might suck, but Paige Turco is not to blame.

Much of the film takes place in 1603 Japan. There, the turtles have to tangle with the bad guys, join up with the good guys, and figure out a way home. We get scenes of the locals mistaking them for kappa, turtle demons from Japanese folklore, and the turtles have to win them over by saving their lives – routine stuff. The people of the era do speak Japanese, but also English so the kids don’t have to read subtitles. Like the first sequel, the action is fairly light and mostly comedic in nature. The turtles rarely use their weapons and would rather attack with witty remarks than fists. And how witty those remarks play up will vary by age. As a kid, Donatello dropping a random Addams Family reference was funny, but as an adult it feels so forced. It’s just completely random, have a turtle reference something else that’s popular in the moment, and play it off for laughs. The only clever jokes involve the ones where characters from the past interact with technology from the future. April’s Walkman freaks out the first guards she runs into while the soldiers sent to the present are completely baffled by television and even take a liking to hockey because of its violence.

Stuart Wilson also does an admirable job of turning chicken shit into chicken salad as the villainous Walker.

The sets for the film are adequate. We get the lair for the turtles which strongly resembles that of the one from the previous film and even looks like it’s been more lived-in since we last saw it. The stuff in Japan is largely relegated to open, outdoors, areas with some interior shots here and there. There’s a fair amount of grime added to some sequences and it’s not a terrible film to look at, excepting the less than stellar turtle costumes. The actors outside of those costumes also really give it their all. Turco is allowed to exhibit far more range than she did in the prior film where she felt almost out of place, like a character that didn’t belong. Koteas is terrific in his dual role of Casey and Whit, a character in the past. I don’t know why they cast Koteas twice, but maybe he was going to cost so much as Casey and they wanted to get their money’s worth. The film doesn’t try to hide that Casey and Whit resemble each other, it just doesn’t bother to explain why. Stuart is actually pretty terrific as the villainous Walker to the point where I feel almost bad for him since it’s wasted on this film. And for what it’s worth, the voice actors for the turtles do a fine enough job. Feldman is a bit overexposed as Donatello as I guess the film decided he was the biggest star, though he does have a solid deadpan which helps a few jokes land better than most. Michelangelo gets to do more than just be a goof off as he questions why he’d want to leave a time period where people accept him to return to a sewer in the present. The neutering of Raph is continued as he isn’t really allowed to get mad anymore and Leonardo is far more jokey than we’re used to because I guess someone decided he was too boring. All of the turtles feel like they’ve been brought closer together as far as their personalities go to the point where they’re almost a hive mind at this point. Basically, the only thing separating the four now is that Donatello is still written to be the smart one while also still being a quip machine.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III is not a good movie. This post is not in defense of it. I do have a perhaps “hot” take when it comes to this film though and it’s that I actually enjoy it more The Secret of the Ooze. That movie is just plain bad. The costumes are terrific, but pretty much everything else about it sucks. This movie, on the other hand, is a somewhat entertaining bad movie. The script is so terrible, mostly the stuff fed to the turtles, that it’s laughably bad. Donatello literally does the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up,” bit and we even get a Wayne’s World reaction to April’s bare leg out of the turtles. It’s stupid, lazy, and oh so dated so it has a certain charm for someone like me who lived through it. For today’s kid it won’t have the same appeal, but I bet they won’t like any of the TMNT movies much because they are just not movies written for today’s audience. We live in a world where there’s only one good, theatrically released, movie based on the franchise and it’s the original from 1990. None of the films that followed are really any good. The Secret of the Ooze is just a lazy sequel while the third film is the dying gasp of a fading franchise. The fourth film, which is technically a sequel to this, came out in 2007 and has no heart and looks cheap. It has one good scene and the rest is bad. The films that followed are just pure trash and now we pin our hopes on a team helmed by Seth Rogen to restore the turtles to their former glory. And I plan on seeing that film when it arrives later this year and I hope it joins the lonely ranks of “Good” TMNT movie. At the very lest, I hope it can usurp Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III for the title of second best because that is a distinction no franchise should be content with.

Check out some of these other posts on the TMNT film franchise:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Hollywood loves to go after us folks who are suckers for nostalgia.  We’re easy targets as it doesn’t take much to lure someone in with a touch of nostalgia.  Especially today.  We live in a world of 24 hour news networks and the internet puts information at our fingertips at all times.  The media’s tactics…

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Cowabunga dudes, it’s the 30th anniversary of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie! On March 30, 1990, New Line Cinema together with Golden Harvest released a film to theaters that seemingly no one wanted to make. This isn’t that surprising considering when Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird first started soliciting offers for a toy-line…

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Ranking the Many Versions of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

With Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hitting the airwaves, it felt like a good time to sit down and take a look at the various incarnations of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. As you are likely aware, the TMNT got started back in 1984 when writer/artists Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman created their…

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March 29, 2019

Batman: The Animated Series – “Baby-Doll”

By Joe

baby-doll titleEpisode Number:  76

Original Air Date:  October 1, 1994

Directed by:  Dan Riba

Written by: Paul Dini

First Appearance(s):  Baby-Doll

Well, this is an interesting one. Batman:  The Animated Series has done well with original creations, and it’s also done not so well. Harley Quinn may have been a huge hit, but nobody likes Boss Biggs. Baby-Doll is yet another invention of the show and I’m curious how she came to be. Paul Dini, who has had to do some heavy lifting on the show’s second season, wrote this episode and presumably created the character. Baby-Doll is a Hollywood has-been with a rare genetic condition that makes her look like a child. Batman refers to the condition in the episode as systemic hypoplasia, but that’s a condition that usually impacts organs so Batman’s diagnosis is a bit off. The character is likely inspired by someone like Gary Coleman or maybe Emmanuel Lewis, two actors who played children on-screen even though they were older. Coleman had a kidney condition and his stunted development was the result of medication and complications from his disease, where-as Lewis apparently simply stopped growing. No matter, what’s important to know about Baby-Doll is she’s an adult female that resembles a child and she’s really unhappy with her life choices and how her career turned out. It’s certainly an unconventional premise for a Batman villain, but really, how many are truly conventional?

The episode opens as a play is letting out, Death of a Salesman. A young actor named Brian (Robbie Rist) waves goodbye to his cast mates and then is startled to hear crying. He finds a little girl with big, blonde, curls in the alley behind the theater. She’s lost, and apparently her brother is to blame. Brian goes to comfort her and when he gets a look at her face a shocked expression crosses his own. Before he can react further, he’s knocked out from behind and the girl apologizes for playing rough.

thats my baby

The cast of That’s My Baby, a show that probably would have aired on Nick at Night had it been real.

Some time later, Batman and Robin are watching video in Commissioner Gordon’s office. Today’s subject is an old sitcom titled Love That Baby and Gordon informs the vigilantes that cast members from the show have gone missing. The young man we saw earlier, Brian Daly, was a part of that show which starred Mary Louise Dahl (Alison LaPlaca) as the title character Baby. Batman knows her from reading a report on her condition which caused her to retain a child-like appearance into adulthood. Robin mostly just remembers watching the show, which he was not a fan of. Dahl hasn’t been seen or heard from in years, while one other actress from the main cast has yet to go missing:  Tammy Vance (Judy Strangis). Batman takes the tape to check it out further, but then Bullock comes over on the police scanner about gunfire where they’re currently providing protection for Ms. Vance.

At the studio, which looks really similar to the background from the prior night, armed gunmen are firing on police while trying to abduct Vance. The two gunmen have a Gilligan and Skipper look going for them, which is interesting if nothing else. Batman and Robin soon arrive to put a stop to the gun-play and rescue Vance, but before they get a chance to settle down an armored truck comes barreling down the alley. Batman has to get out of the way and Robin is nearly flattened. The distraction allows the goons to grab Vance and toss her in the truck. As they speed away, Batman uses the controls on his belt to summon the Batmobile, but when a kid runs out into the street the Batmobile is forced to swerve and crash while the bad guys get away. Robin scoops up the crying child, whose mother soon shows up to take. As she’s holding her daughter the girl says to her mother “I didn’t mean to.” Batman recognizes this as the catchphrase for the Baby character from the show, and when he goes to stop the pair the girl slams a ball she was carrying on the ground which explodes into a big, cloud of smoke to mask their escape.

baby-doll smil

Meet Batman’s newest foe:  Baby-Doll.

Batman and Robin then drop in on Summer Gleeson (Mari Devon) who recently had done a “Where Are They Now?” styled feature on the cast of Love That Baby. She has some tapes of the show, but when Batman asks why Dahl might have a grudge against her co-workers he finds out it’s they who should be angry with her. It would seem Dahl left the show to pursue a dramatic acting career, and Gleeson has a copy of her failed attempt at the notoriously unlucky MacBeth. Robin thinks it stinks and shares his opinion with the group. Apparently the critics and audiences felt the same way as the production was a flop. Following that high-profile failure, television networks no longer wanted to work with Dahl and the rest is history.

Meanwhile, Baby-Doll has assembled her old cast. Vance wakes up to find herself dressed as her old character and when she exits her bedroom she finds the old set and the familiar faces. The other actors include her TV father, Tod (Alan Young) mom June (LaPlaca) and brother Brian. They’re in costume as well and Baby-Doll comes strolling in with her favorite doll, Mr. Happy-Head. She’s very happy to have her “family” back, while the rest are pretty confused. She gathers them at the table where she lets them know they’re going to celebrate her birthday. It’s at this point that Tod has had enough. He tries to leave, but Baby-Doll’s assistant Mariam (Tasia Valenza) assaults him and he lumbers back to his seat at the table.

cousin spunky

Joker has tried this same thing. It too failed.

At the Batcave, Robin is suffering through the tapes they got from Gleeson and letting Batman how much he’s enjoying himself. He does stumble onto one potential lead though. In the show’s final season, to combat sagging ratings, it pulled a Cousin Oliver and added a new character named Cousin Spunky. Spunky would basically upstage Baby-Doll, and we see a clip of him slamming her face into her birthday cake from one episode. Apparently, it was the presence of that character that drove Dahl to quit and Batman assumes it’s only a matter of time until she sets her sights on the actor who played him.

We’re then taken to a suburban neighborhood where a heavy-set kid is playing guitar in his garage. A woman pushes a baby carriage up the driveway to him to complain about the loudness of the music claiming it woke her baby from her nap. The woman is Mariam, once again posing as a mom (she was the one who picked up Baby-Doll after the Batmobile incident) which means there’s only one person who could be in that stroller. When Spunky (James Marsden) looks in, he sees Dahl looking back at him and she shoots him with brown gas from her baby bottle.

batman and baby

I hope you weren’t expecting much of a fight scene from this one.

Back “on-set,” Spunky is now tied to a chair and at the dinner table with his other former cast mates. Like them, he’s really confused about the situation as Baby-Doll confronts him from on top of the dining room table. She blames him for ruining her birthday, while he tries to explain they were just acting. Baby-Doll will hear none of it though and she pushes a giant cake towards him. She then starts smearing cake on his face as revenge for what happened to her, but she’s not stopping there. Soon she places candles on the cake and a big ‘ol stick of dynamite right in the middle. She lights it then tells Spunky (we never learn his actual name) to blow it out, which he tries to do, but is unsuccessful. Seeing no other option, he grabs the dynamite with his mouth and flings it over his shoulder. It bounces onto another part of the set where it explodes harmlessly (the blast was quite large, so either Baby-Doll underestimated it or she planned on killing herself and her fake family in the process). disappointed, Baby-Doll whips out Mr. Happy-Head who apparently has a gun hidden in his head. She fires a shot which emerges from the doll’s eye socket and then starts towards Spunky in an obviously threatening manner.

Glass shatters above the table, and Batman drops in (seriously villains, avoid skylights)! He makes quick work of Gilligan and his buddy and knocks the doll from Baby-Doll’s hands. It’s at this point Spunky jumps up, free of his restraints, and reveals he was actually Robin in disguise (so did he have that dynamite thing the whole way or was Batman late in getting there?). The Dynamic Duo has played Dahl for a sucker, but things aren’t a wrap just yet. Mariam comes to her boss’s aid and she apparently has some moves. She blasts Batman into some rigging and takes out Robin as well, who can’t help but pay her a compliment. Batman is able to rope her ankle with a Batarang-hook, when Mariam goes for a jump-kick he gives it a tug and swings her into a wall putting an end to that threat.

baby-doll chase

She’s smart enough to know to lead Batman somewhere he won’t have as easy a time navigating as she will.

Batman then leaves Robin to tend to the actors while he goes after Baby-Doll. She’s taken off with her doll and made her way into a nearby amusement park. Unlike the parks Joker typically inhabits, this one is very much in use and Baby-Doll is able to hide amongst the patrons. When Batman drops in to survey the area, his appearance attracts attention as people flock to get a look at him. This works to his advantage as Baby-Doll hangs back and then takes off running. She ducks into a shooting gallery type of game. When Batman does the same, he finds himself staring down an over-sized gun that fires tennis balls. Baby-Doll, apparently forgetting she has a real gun, pummels Batman with tennis balls until he is able to grab a doll prize and throw it at her the force of which knocks her from her perch.

the real dahl

What Baby-Doll refers to as her real self.

Baby-Doll then flees into a fun house that’s closed for repairs. She taunts Batman apparently wanting him to follow her. He’s forced to crawl through plastic tubes which Baby-Doll can run through, putting him at a pretty big disadvantage. She continues to taunt him before slipping in some strikes. When she finally turns to her doll-gun, Batman fires his grapple gun at it to knock it from her hands. Baby-Doll exits the tube to retrieve her gun and finds herself in a room of mirrors. One of which reflects back an “adult” version of her. She identifies with this image as “the real me,” and seems to grow sad. Batman then appears and she swings around and fires only to find it was a reflection. As Batman appears in other mirrors, Dahl fires repeatedly at them destroying them all until the only one left is the one reflecting back her “real” self. With tears in her eyes, she fires once more destroying the image. She tries to continue firing but she’s run out of bullets. Batman removes the doll from her hands and she tearfully turns to him and repeats her catchphrase “I didn’t mean to.” She clutches at his leg as a high-angle shot from the camera lingers a moment, then fades to black.

“Baby-Doll” is an unconventional episode, no doubt about it. Or rather, the villain is unconventional in her design since really the story is just another insane individual looking for revenge on those she perceived wronged her. A lot of Batman villains can say the same. It’s also interesting that this episode follows “Bane,” an episode where the villain is a huge physical threat to Batman where-as Baby-Doll is really not one at all. I’m impressed that Dini came up with the funhouse as a way to put Batman at a disadvantage, since the thought of Baby-Doll taking him out is ludicrous on the surface.

angry baby-doll

When ever Baby-Doll gets mad, her voice deepens and the black around her eyes thickens. It’s a neat approach.

Obviously, part of the genesis for the episode stems from someone like Dini just working in television. The Cousin Oliver gimmick is interesting as it refers to Oliver from The Brady Bunch, who was played by Robbie Rist who voices Brian in this episode (I guess it would have been too on-the-nose to have him voice Spunky). Baby-Doll is a stand-in for many child actors who have had a tough time transitioning to adulthood. And in her case, the point is hammered home by having her physically remain like a child.

This episode marks the final contribution to this show by Studio Junio. Aside from their episodes seeming to contain lots of grammatical errors in the backgrounds, I must say I enjoyed their work. There’s a bit more of a cartoon vibe to their episodes and even some flashes of anime. Batman looks great in this episode and Junio apparently had access to better shades of green as Robin doesn’t have those turquoise accents on his gloves. Baby-Doll is perhaps a bit too cartoonish for my taste as she reminds me of Elmira from Tiny Toon Adventures. Her head is gigantic like a cartoon character, and it pulls me out of the scenes sometimes especially the closing shot with Batman.

I feel like “Baby-Doll” is an episode that should suck, to put it bluntly, but doesn’t. The story it tells actually proved compelling and the character of Dahl is made sympathetic in the end. A lot of that can be attributed to the voice work of Alison LaPlaca who does a great job in shifting tones from a higher, child-like voice, to a lower aged one when Dahl gets upset. There’s even a touch of a Child’s Play vibe as Dahl gets a little creepy when not using her Baby voice. This one works, in spite of its weirdness. It’s not anywhere near my top 10 episodes, and I don’t need to see Baby-Doll again (and we won’t until The New Batman Adventures), but I am fine with this episode existing.

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