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Dec. 14 – The Nostalgia Spot Christmas Special Countdown #103 – 94

Today is a big day for our little Christmas special countdown for today we crest number 100. We are now past the halfway point on the road to the number one Christmas special and we’re also beginning a string of six consecutive days of countdown-style posts. That’s right, the next solo effort won’t be here until December 20th when we’re really close to Christmas. Basically, I have my work cut out for me to keep things lively and fresh for the next week so things don’t get too stale. Helping me out today is that we’re coming up on a day of mostly adult animation with a bit of teen animation mixed in. I try to keep the more adult stuff somewhat separated from the kid stuff when it makes sense and doesn’t throw off the rankings. And today works for that and after doing the very family friendly The Little Drummer Boy yesterday, it might be kind of nice to wallow in the misery of a horse man, but first we have something much closer to an all ages affair:

103 – Teen Titans Go! – Halloween vs Christmas

This is the most jerk-ass Santa you’re likely to ever meet.

Teen Titans Go! is the little show that could. Seriously, it’s pretty crazy that it has outlasted basically every other DC animated superhero show. For awhile, it felt like “serious” Teen Titans fans looked down at it and blamed it for their preferred show no longer existing, but as it’s staying power has been proven time and again I think it’s starting to be properly recognized for what it is. And that’s just a good, solid, comedic, superhero show that has helped make household names out of some pretty D-list superheroes. During its run, the show has been able to establish some Christmas lore for itself and one of the most interesting takes the show has embarked on is with its depiction of Santa. Like American Dad!, the Santa here is a villain. He frequently refers to children as garbage, and in this episode he has decided that Halloween gets too much attention and he wants to dominate the calendar even longer. It’s an absurd premise for an absurd show so it works very well. The Titans end up on the side of Halloween and turn to a being that resembles Samhain from The Real Ghostbusters to do battle with Santa Claus. Things get pretty “Looney Tunes” in the battle for the soul of Halloween, but it’s never not entertaining. If you’re the sort of person who vastly prefers Halloween to Christmas then this is the one for you.

102 – Popeye the Sailor – Seasin’s Greetinks

The original Popeye Christmas short is still the best one. There’s not a lot to it as there’s really not a lot to a Popeye short from Fleischer Studios. They just create opportunities for Popeye to beat up Bluto and win Olive Oyl’s affection all while looking pretty damn fantastic in the process. In this short from 1933, Popeye brings his sweetheart some ice skates and the pair head over to a frozen river to give them a try. Olive isn’t very graceful, but it’s easily forgiven since it would appear she’s never skated before. Things are going well until Bluto shows up using a small dog to pull him along in his skates like a jackass. He and Popeye come to blows and we get a classic waterfall scenario where the ice ends and the water rushes over a ledge. Popeye has to take care of Bluto and save Olive at the same time. Is he up to the task? Naturally, for he’s Popeye the sailor man!

101 – Aqua Teen Hunger Force – A PE Christmas

In this one, the Aqua Teens go to church.

Now here’s a special that has none of the Christmas feels. Aqua Teen Hunger Force is about as absurd a show as it gets considering our main characters are talking fast food items. In this one, the always scheming and all around bad person/cup Shake tries to steal the identity of Chuck D from Public Enemy in order to record a Christmas album which he thinks will make him rich. The scheme is entirely ridiculous as Shake basically just stole some mail and thinks that’s enough. Plus, his Christmas song is improvised on the spot and totals all of 12 seconds. He still manages to land some recording time on Christmas Eve to lay the track down, but a serious case of space eels basically ends his life. It’s surprisingly coherent for such a nonsensical plot and Shake is in good form as the asshole you can laugh at because he’s such an overconfident idiot. Chuck also gets to make a cameo at the end to compliment Meatwad on his recording of “Silent Night,” which is also set to the sound of Shake evacuating his bowels (yeah, lots of poop stuff in here). And if you think it’s really lacking in that Christmas atmosphere, this is one of the few specials to have a scene set in an actual church. Shake spouts a bunch of blasphemy and has to get dragged out by Frylock, but hey, it must count for something?

100 – The Ren & Stimpy Show – Son of Stimpy/Stimpy’s First Fart

Christmas doesn’t get more wholesome than this.

I love me some Ren and Stimpy, but I’m not as big on their holiday episodes as some other fans might be. Placing the first Christmas special at number 100 feels like a great place for it. This one is pretty well known, but if you’re new to it this is an episode where Stimpy passes gas for the first time in his life and becomes obsessed with the result. The best part of the episode is right at the beginning when we bare witness to this momentous occasion and then watch Stimpy try to explain what happened to an unamused Ren. Following that, Stimpy becomes obsessed with finding this thing he created which he starts referring to as Stinky. Stimpy views his fart as his child and the fact that he can no longer smell him sends him into a deep depression. It seems the whole premise of the episode was to take a truly outrageous situation and play it straight. A father trying to reunite with his son at Christmas is a pretty conventional holiday plot, only here it’s a cat and his fart. Because the episode is so committed to playing it straight it suffers in the comedy department. We feel bad for Stimpy, but it can only go so far. And there’s plenty of gross throughout this one (as one can imagine) which really prevents the viewer from getting into the heart of the story. Is that the point? Did the writers and producers of The Ren & Stimpy Show want us to feel uncomfortable and confused for 24 minutes? It’s possible. There’s some funny stuff in here, but it went too far. The ending goes over like…well, like a wet fart.

99 – Robot Chicken’s ATM Christmas Special

Oh, hey Larry! What are you doing here?

Nonsensical sketch comedy made out of old toys with a Christmas theme – that’s a Robot Chicken Christmas special. It’s going to throw several bits at you, some good, some not so good, but the sum of the parts is usually a solid 11 minutes or so of entertainment. There are a few segments starring Santa that are pretty solid including one where he’s late for Christmas and another where he battles Jason Bourne for some reason. I also like the longer skit with the Christmas tree who is personified and feels at home with his new family, only to get thrown out on Christmas. The capper to this one though is the Robot Chicken Nerd character waking up on Christmas to find it’s all been stolen. There’s only one suspect: The Grinch, and the Nerd seeks vengeance for all who were wronged this Christmas. And it becomes a lot easier when the Nerd discovers that the Grinch responsible is that awful Jim Carrey one! It’s not the best Robot Chicken Christmas episode, but it’s hard to not at least be mildly amused with the short run time and I give a lot of deference to this show because I do like the stop-motion animation. Also, there’s a Larry Hama cameo!

98 – The Venture Bros. – A Very Venture Christmas

I’m pretty sure I think of this joke every time I watch Frosty the Snowman.

Another one from the land of Adult Swim, this episode of The Venture Bros. is the rare short subject and also the only Christmas episode. I was dismayed to learn that series co-creator Doc Hammer hates it, but it’s really not that bad. It’s just brief and not able to tell the sort of stories the show is accustomed to. It also devotes a large swath of the episode to a parody of Christmas specials at the beginning which is all the result of a drugged-out dream by Dr. Venture himself. The rest of the special takes place at a Christmas party at the Venture compound where the Monarch has infiltrated the festivities via a new agent: Tiny Joseph. This little guy has planted a bomb in a manger scene in the house of Venture that will go off at midnight when baby Jesus is put in place. Only the boys accidentally summon the Krampus and everything goes to Hell. It’s fine, there’s some good jokes in here, and the episode is basically all one big fake-out so it fits canonically. It was supposed to be part of a much larger block of animation dedicated to Christmas on Adult Swim, but it never came together and this was the only thing that came of it.

97 – TV Funhouse – Christmas Day

Yup, this is that kind of show.

TV Funhouse was a short-lived Comedy Central show that was essentially a spoof on Saturday Morning variety shows for children. It had a host, live-action segments, puppets, animals, and cartoons only it was all intended for an adult audience. In this one, our affable host Doug has his spinal fluid stolen (because that’s where Christmas spirit dwells) by his animal companions who then go off and do a ton of drugs leaving Doug paralyzed in the studio to introduce segments. We get one about Christmas tension and another that’s a parody of the Harlem Globetrotters cartoon with this one featuring them dunking on Jesus. In between sketches, we just watch the “AniPals,” a collection of puppets and live animals, get high on the Christmas cheer they stole from Doug’s spine and attend church. It’s a lot of dark humor and the show is able to get obscene acts onto air, like one character sucking drugs off another character’s penis, because it’s all demonstrated through puppets. It basically comes down to two stuffed animals just smashing together. This is not a Christmas special for everyone and for me I have to be in the right mood for it. It’s all presented in a sincere manner, but it’s all farce.

96 – Robot Chicken’s Half-Assed Christmas Special

The closest we ever got to a Dragon Ball Christmas special.

Yes, another from Robot Chicken and it’s quite close in proximity to the other one. That’s because they’re pretty hard to separate since we’re dealing with sketch comedy. I ranked this one ever so slightly higher because the bits stand out in my memory just a little bit more. That could have something to do with me seeing this episode more than the other one and less to do with the quality, but I’m sticking to this spot. This is the Christmas episode where Santa gets revenge on Coca-Cola, Frosty gets high, and we get a Godfather Part II parody starring Hermey from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It culminates with Christmas coming to Japan (sort of) as Santa enlists the help of Goku to takedown Composite Santa, the half Santa half Snowman monstrosity. This episode of Robot Chicken has a higher batting average when it comes to the sketches even if nothing lands as well as the other one’s Grinch sketch. It’s just more solid, stop-motion, entertainment.

95 – The Simpsons – ‘Tis the 15th Season

Homer Simpson is an accomplished slitherer.

The most recent Christmas episode of The Simpsons we’ve looked at (recent as in we just did this one last year) is the lowest ranked of them all, but that’s not bad! “‘Tis the Fifteenth Season” comes from, what else, the 15th season of the show and features a plot about Homer being selfish. He learns from his mistake rather early on and tries to redeem himself which just puts him in competition with Flanders. When Flanders one ups him by giving everyone in town a Christmas present, Homer decides he can’t compete so he just steals them instead. This brings about a fourth act Grinch parody which I’m always down for. This is also the rare episode for this era of the show without much of a B plot as it just goes from one Homer situation to the next and it’s punctuated with a Moe suicide joke. It just wouldn’t be Christmas without a Moe suicide joke on The Simpsons now would it? What this one lacks in heart, it makes up for with laughs.

94 – BoJack Horseman – Sabrina’s Christmas Wish

How Christmas is supposed to look.

Our last entry for today belongs to BoJack Horseman, the Netflix animated series about a has-been actor who lets his own depression and overall bad guy vibes take everyone down in his orbit. Or at least he tries to and ultimately fails in many respects. The Christmas episode is basically a stand-alone Christmas special that exists between seasons. In it, BoJack and his roommate Todd don’t have much going on because they don’t have a happy family life so they sit in BoJack’s bed and watch the Christmas episode of his old sitcom, Horsin’ Around. The premise of the show is that BoJack plays a horse who adopts some orphans. One of the orphans, Sabrina, learns about Christmas and Santa and thinks he has the power to bring her parents back to life, but when all she gets is a letter from Santa explaining why that isn’t possible she gets irate. Don’t worry though, because just like in an episode of Full House, BoJack and his adopted daughter have a talk and everything is fine. In fact, it’s better than fine as both confess they’re glad her parents are dead otherwise they’d never know each other! Most of the episode is dedicated to just watching what is essentially a sitcom parody and it’s done very well. The tropes are highlighted and some awkwardness is worked in when one of the kid characters can’t get his catchphrase over with the studio audience. And our framing device is BoJack, angry at Todd’s mere presence, but also extremely lonely and narcissistic enough to enjoy watching a bad TV show starring him. It’s hard to imagine the show doing a better Christmas episode as it perfectly captures why BoJack, the character, sucks so hard and presents a very believable Christmas for him. Like a lot of the programs we spotlighted today, it’s not a show that’s for everyone, but if you’re into dark humor and grew up on bad family sitcoms this one will probably amuse you.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 14 – All Grown Up! – The Finster Who Stole Christmas

In 2001, Rugrats had the honor of being the first Nicktoon to make it 10 years. The path to that honor was not a smooth one as the show had effectively been cancelled in 1993 with the third season. That appeared to not be performance related, but more strategic on the part of Nickelodeon as…

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Dec. 14 – Rugrats – “The Santa Experience”

Yesterday, we took a look at the 1992 Christmas special from the third Nickelodeon Nicktoon The Ren & Stimpy Show. Today, we’re basically working backwards and talking about the second Nicktoon to premiere: Rugrats. The Ren & Stimpy Show is probably the most celebrated of the original Nicktoons when it comes to animation circles, but…

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Dec. 14 – Aqua Teen Hunger Force – “A PE Christmas”

Original air date December 13, 2009.

It was a couple of years ago we looked at the first Aqua Teen Hunger Force Christmas episode because it contained Danzig. I was basically required to talk about it! This year we’re coming back to it, and wouldn’t you know, there is a musical component to this one as well.

If you’re unfamiliar with the show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force was one of the first Adult Swim cartoons to really break-out as a full-fledged hit for the network. It was crudely animated and quite absurd as it detailed three characters based on food items: Master Shake (Dana Snyder), Frylock (Carey Means), and Meatwad (Dave Willis). They are literally a giant shake cup, box of french fries, and a meatball all with a face. Shake has the bonus feature of containing hands too while Frylock is forced to use his “fries” as limbs and Meatwad can basically contort his body into different shapes. The show was created by Dave Willis and Matt Maiellaro with the concept being these three would solve mysteries, only the mysteries would be relatively stupid and the characters would be rather bad at their job. That premise was dropped pretty quickly and it more or less became a show about misadventures. Master Shake would style himself the alpha of the group despite the fact that he’s mean, stupid, and self-centered. Meatwad is more child-like, but also pretty dumb and quite impressionable. Frylock is the only one with any sense of reason and it’s amazing he wasn’t driven insane by those he lives with.

The Aqua Teens (left to right): Frylock, Master Shake, and Meatwad.

The show takes place in New Jersey and the cast of characters would gradually fill out. Neighbor Carl (Willis) was featured the most and frequently found his life being completely upended and sometimes just plain ended by his weird neighbors. It’s funny when misfortune befalls him though as he’s a pretty terrible person as well. Various denizens of space would be added and all manner of just weird would cross paths with the main characters. Each episode was only around 11 minutes and most didn’t have much continuity from one to another. Sometimes characters would re-appear and reference past exploits on the show, but also many episodes end with a main character getting killed only to be returned the next week.

The show returned to Christmas for the Season 7 episode “A PE Christmas.” This episode will see Shake try to once again execute what he considers a brilliant, money-making scheme, that’s really foolish and misguided and destined to fail. Despite being a weird and rather ugly show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force was pretty successful at landing guest spots and this episode features some celebrity cameos like that first Christmas episode we looked at.

This is a very welcoming church, even by church standards.

The episode begins at, of all places, church. Frylock is apparently taking his faith and the role it plays in the Christmas holiday quite seriously, while Shake is not. Meatwad, for his part, is basically just along for the ride. Shake is irritated that there’s no food, pointing out they have bread, but no meat. He needs protein to bulk up for next Halloween (he says, as he mimes a Hulk Hogan pose). Frylock is embarrassed for them as people keep turning and shooting glances their way. Surprisingly, most of the people featured look normal and apparently some are even based on the creative staff on the show (Willis is for sure present in the audience). Shake then tries to get Meatwad to assist him in swiping the donation hat, but is denied by Frylock who actually happens to have money to donate. He tells the two they need to learn about how good it feels to give, while Meatwad notes it feels pretty good to receive as well.

Frylock probably didn’t need to drag him out, I’m sure he would have been more than willing to leave on his own.

Shake continues his rant as it’s evident he wants no part of this. Meatwad just wants to sit on Santa’s lap and it’s soon revealed he has mistaken Jesus for Santa. Frylock corrects him, but Meatwad still seems a bit attached to his theory considering Jesus has a beard, but he notes the stab wound from the spear and the shredded abs as a strike against his theory. Frylock ends up shouting in frustration that “Santa didn’t die for our sins!” which just confuses Meatwad further as now he thinks Frylock is telling him Santa is dead. Shake, who often behaves like an older brother towards Meatwad, sees this as an opening to tease him further by telling him Santa is indeed dead. Meatwad continues to get upset, while Shake keeps going, and Frylock decides enough is enough as he drags Shake out of the church. The whole time Shake is shouting about Jesus the failure wondering aloud how a guy gets himself nailed to a cross, “We’re supposed to revere him for his slow reaction time?!” We also see some inhuman cameos as Frylock drags Shake out so there’s the weird I was looking for.

They decorate, but it’s kind of sad.

Back at their house, we see the “Christmas tree” from the last episode has returned. It’s basically just green crayon on the wall with some stuff glued on. They’ve also added some lights and even a little Charlie Brown tree. There’s a manger in the background and it looks like a wrestling figure is playing the role of Jesus, possibly a WCW Giant or maybe Hillbilly Jim. Frylock is preparing Meatwad for a shitty Christmas, though Meatwad still seems to think he has a shot at a new Super Soaker. This is where Shake reveals he has a money-making plan up his…sleeve? He’s apparently stolen some financial documents from Chuck D and Flavor Flav of Public Enemy. Meatwad notes the print-out for Chuck D is his 401k. Shake seems to think this is enough material to declare that he has stolen their identities and that he intends to record a Christmas album under the Public Enemy heading and call it “Bring Tha Toyz.” He then demands Frylock take him to a recording studio right this very moment on Christmas Eve to record so that he may have it in stores for Christmas Day.

I’d buy it.

We then cut to Shake and Meatwad in a recording studio. Shake is decked out in outlandish hip-hop attire including a massive grill he’s trying to talk through. He eventually spits it out and complains openly about Frylock needing to reimburse him for the hour and a half of studio time they missed out on due to him refusing to drive them. Their technician for the evening is Michael (Michael Kohler) and he is about as excited to be there as one would expect. Meatwad is hoping to slip in some Christmas classics on Shake’s album, but Shake doesn’t seem too receptive. He’s also worried about listeners being able to tell that they are not Public Enemy, but Shake reminds them they’ll be modulating his voice. Plus, it won’t matter since they’ll have already bought the record!

I like the inclusion of the digital clock on Shake’s Flavor Flav costume.

The tape starts rolling and Shake starts spitting his rhymes, “Happy birthday Jesus, you are the one, coming down to Earth from the planet Krypton!” It doesn’t go on much longer than that totaling about 12 seconds. They head into the booth for Michael to play it back. Michael asks somewhat hopefully if they’re done and Shake seems to think they are, despite it being one 12 second track. Meatwad points out that most albums have at least six songs and Shake angrily concedes. He tosses a bottle of soda at Michael and makes a mess as he heads back into the recording booth.

Poor Michael has to put up with Shake’s bullshit when he’d probably rather be somewhere else on Christmas Eve.

Shake then raps a bunch of nonsense about what he’s looking at “Stapler on the desk,” and the lack of lumbar support on his chair. He declares it done after only a few seconds. Meatwad sees this as an opportunity to get one of his songs onto the record, but Shake insists that Jesus doesn’t want him to sing on his record. Meatwad continues to press Shake, only for him to relent because he has to go take a dump, though he orders Michael not to roll on this take that is about to take place. As Meatwad sings “Silent Night,” we can hear the sounds of Shake’s “movement” over Meatwad’s vocals. Meatwad asks of Michael to close the bathroom door, but he tells Meatwad it is as Shake continues to shout something about eels. He eventually emerges with a plunger and informs Michael someone from his entourage must have plugged up the toilet as water starts filling the studio.

Santa has odd taste.

The next morning, at the house the guys wake up to find a bunch of eels in the living room by their tree. Meatwad thinks Santa brought them for him and asks Frylock if he can keep them while Shake informs us these came out of him. They look like big worms and they have this weird expression on their “faces” that looks kind of tired, but also is possibly hiding an existence of constant pain. Shake then declares they need to go see how his record is selling.

There’s only one way into a store on Christmas.

Outside a store called Better Buy, Shake is trying to get through the doors, but they’re locked. Frylock gets in an “I told you so,” since it’s Christmas Day so of course the store is closed. It’s also likely the record isn’t in there anyway since they recorded it last night. Shake is a being devoid of logic though, so he starts trying to pry open the door with a monkey wrench. Meatwad and Frylock bail as an alarm blares, and Shake gets fed up and just tosses a garbage can through the door and goes in.

How dare they arrest Flavor Flav on Christmas?!

We cut to Shake in a holding cell back in his hip hop attire demanding to be let out because he is Flavor Flav. There are two guys behind in the corner, one being a reoccurring homeless man character model, who seem to ignore his ranting. He then wonders aloud just what he ate in Chuck D’s dumpster as more eels explode out of his backside. Since he’s a paper cup, he just collapses in a crumpled heap on the floor while the two guys behind him get sprayed with shit-blood to no reaction.

That’s a pretty sight.

We then get to see an additional scene in which Meatwad meets Chuck D (himself) disguised as Flavor Flav. Chuck D is rather confused by Flav’s appearance, but Meatwad assures him he just lost some weight. He also returns to him all of the stuff Shake had stolen, which apparently included a lot more than he had revealed earlier in the episode. He also compliments Chuck on his credit score. He then advises him to lock his dumpster, and Chuck D corrects him that it’s not a dumpster, but actually a lair for his space eels. Meatwad then demos the song he recorded, “Silent Night” with Shake’s farting and groaning over it, and Chuck D actually likes it and declares, “It’s gonna be huge.” We hard-cut to the ending credits which feature Shake’s Christmas rap, “Twas the Night Before Jesus,” only sung by Schoolly D, the regular performer for the opening credits.

This episode is pretty ridiculous, but what is somewhat surprising is it actually contains more Christmas than the previous episode we looked at. It does a good job of finding a use for the holiday within the world that is Aqua Teen Hunger Force and any episode involving some ridiculous Shake scheme to make money is often pretty entertaining. There’s some great lines from Shake and his exchanges with Meatwad are humorous, but the real scene-stealer is probably the engineer, Michael, who deadpans all of his lines. Kohler does a great job of just capturing the mood of an employee who wants nothing to do with his job at the moment without outwardly stating that.

The engineer, Michael, is perhaps my favorite character in this episode. He has to put up with a lot of shit. Literally.

Interestingly, the episode must not have been finished for its original airing in December, 2009. It originally ended with Shake’s back exploding and the eels emerging. The scene with Chuck D wasn’t added until it aired in March of 2010. I’m guessing the episode was rushed before they could get Chuck D’s audio recorded so it could air during the Christmas season, unless Chuck D happened to see it and liked it and thus an opportunity was presented to tack on a guest appearance. Either way, I actually think both endings work because the show is often so surreal and absurd that something like eel diarrhea doesn’t necessarily need an explanation. It’s certainly nice to have one though, and as a final dig towards Shake it turns out Chuck D likes Meatwad’s song instead of his.

This is a Christmas episode that is not likely to provide the usual dose of Christmas “feels,” but you’ll probably get some laughs. If you’re real passionate about the Christian side of the holiday then maybe some of the church scene will turn you off, but this was never meant to appeal to devout Christians looking to celebrate Jesus. And for what it’s worth, Shake does get his comeuppance by the end. If you wish to view it, it’s been released as part of Season 7 of Aqua Teen Hunger Force both on physical media formats and digitally. For some reason, it’s listed as part of Season 9 in some places so check first if you’re looking to buy a whole season. The entire series is also streaming on HBO Max. It’s also likely that Adult Swim will rebroadcast it this month as the network is pretty good about re-airing its Christmas episodes every year, though some of the older ones can get lost in the shuffle since there are just so many at this point. At just over 11 minutes long, it’s certainly worth a look this Christmas if this show’s humor appeals to you.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 14 – Heathcliff – “North Pole Cat”

  Heathcliff, despite being a cat, shares a similarity to a certain cookie. And that cookie is Hydrox, the chocolate and cream sandwhich style cookie often mistaken for an Oreo. When I was a kid, Hydrox was the inferior Oreo, the knock-off, and I suspect that was true for a lot of people. The funny…

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Dec. 14 – Olaf’s Frozen Adventure

Just past the halfway point is where our most controversial Christmas special appears:  Olaf’s Frozen Adventure. It’s not controversial for anything fun. No alluring scenes or hints of violence or anything like that. It’s controversial because of how poorly received it was when it was paired last year with the Pixar film Coco for it’s…

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Dec. 14 – Bonkers: Miracle at the 34th Precinct

Bonkers was a late inclusion in the Disney Afternoon, a post DuckTales/TailSpin/Rescue Rangers program and contemporary to Goof Troop and Gargoyles. It’s a show about a bobcat named Bonkers who serves in the Toon Police alongside his partner Lucky Piquel (pronounced Pickle by most characters, but it’s supposed to be Pee-kell, making it a running…

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Dec. 1 – Aqua Teen Hunger Force – “Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future”

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Aqua Teen Hunger Force – “Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future” originally aired on December 29, 2002

Welcome back to The Christmas Spot! It’s that time of year once again when this blog takes a break from the usual and turns into your very own Christmas advent calendar of holiday goodness, and some badness. Starting today, it’s nothing but Christmas specials until the big day, and to kick off this year’s installment it seemed appropriate to tackle the episode “Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future” from the Adult Swim original Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force was created by the duo of Dave Willis and Matt Maiellaro and was one of the inaugural shows featured on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim programming block in 2001. The show follows three anthropomorphic fast food items:  Master Shake (Dana Snyder), Frylock (Carey Means), and Meatwad (Dave Willis). At first, the trio are a mystery solving team, but that premise is pretty much dropped after a few episodes and the show is essentially about nothing. It’s random and absurd with the bad-natured Master Shake often trying to enrich himself at the expense of his roommates, Meatwad and Frylock. Their neighbor Carl (Willis) is a frequent victim of their various schemes and they often attract the attention of weirdos, freaks, and aliens who seek to do harm. Crudely animated and briskly paced, each episode is essentially 11 minutes of surreal comedy. Most of the time it works and it’s really funny, though there are some duds in there that swing and miss badly. The show ran for 139 episodes and even spawned a movie making it one of Adult Swim’s most successful shows.

ghost and carl

Carl has a ghost problem.

Closing out the first season is this episode, “Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future.” That mouthful of a title refers to a new character introduced in this episode, the actual Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future (Maiellaro), heretofore simply referred to as ghost or robot because I am already sick of typing out that title. The ghost first shows up at the episode’s open haunting Carl’s house. In February. Yes, this may be a sort of Christmas special but it doesn’t take place at Christmas for the sake of comedy. At first, the ghost is just annoying as he keeps telling stories about the past accompanied by an unusual amount of smoke. He shows Carl his Christmas as a child when his poor, dirtbag, of a father had nothing but carpet samples to give him as a gift. He couldn’t even play with them as the samples were also Christmas dinner. The scene is actually reminiscent of Scrooged and the flashback to Christmas past from that film.

carl's crappy xmas

Carl’s unfortunate childhood.

Carl is not exactly thrilled about being haunted by a ghost robot, but he becomes really annoyed when the ghost fills his prized above ground swimming pool with blood. Apparently, the blood is actually elf blood and at this point the neighbors enter the episode to question Carl about the blood-filled pool and the weird, annoying, robot. The ghost is happy to tell them about why the pool has been filled with elf blood, but not before first suggesting they pull up a few chairs and some snacks. He regales them with a story about the origins of Santa Claus, who was once a great, red, ape named Sir Santa of Claws. He constructed crude toys and hurled them at other apes. There’s also lots of defecation, as the robot points out. This Claws came into contact with some martian elves, that he enslaved and defecated upon and the story goes on and on. Eventually, everyone either gets annoyed or falls asleep. All except Meatwad who seems both horrified and captivated by the story.

ghost's story

The ghost is eager to tell his tale, but warns that any who listen will likely want to get a snack first.

At this point, Carl just wants to know how he can make the blood in his pool go away. The ghost tells him he needs to give of himself to the great, red, ape in space. And by give of himself, he means sexually. Carl, surprisingly, doesn’t seem mad as he deadpans a “wonderful” response to the request. We then time-jump to the next day (presumably) and Frylock and Carl are discussing him selling the house. Frylock asks if he considereds just doing what the robot said, but Carl is pretty adamant about not getting raped by a gorilla in space and I can’t say I blame him. He mentions he has somebody coming over to look at the house, then tells Frylock to go away so he can take a shower. He heads off to do just that, then comes running out of the bathroom horrified and covered in blood. Frylock tells Carl he can just shower at their house, but he’s about as excited about “gettin’ nude in your house,” as he is about the space monkey.

santa claws

Santa Claws!

Carl is then shown giving a tour of the house to his respective buyer, and it is none other than Glenn Danzig who is voicing himself. We’ve covered quite a bit of Danzig material this year at The Nostalgia Spot so it seems only fitting we should cover his foray into animation this Christmas, no? Danzig is illustrated as being a shirtless guy in black pants and he’s pretty intrigued about a house that bleeds. His only concern really is if the robot can make the blood flow up the walls, and the robot pops in to assure he can. He’s also in love with the idea of a swimming pool filled with blood. He’s not a good house-buyer as he’s clearly let on to Carl that he wants the place, and when he asks for a price Carl just throws out a million and Danzig happily accepts. Carl is overjoyed, a rare occurrence on this show as he usually ends up dead or something at the end of most episodes.

story's over

Shake has the right idea.

Sometime later, Master Shake is looking out the window at the house formerly owned by Carl and sees Danzig heading over. He tells everyone in the house to scatter as the door is pounded upon by the muscled musician. Shake cheerfully opens the door and offers food from their “Haunted Kitchen!” and Meatwad goes into a lame routine of turning the lights on and off while wailing “Daaaaaaaanziiiiiiiiig! You want something to eaaaaat?” Not amused, Danzig goes into a rant. His robot ran away and he’s the source of the house’s blood so Danzig is quite ticked off that he’s not around. He warns Shake that if he’s hiding that robot there will be Hell to pay, in more words or less. After he leaves, Shake is relieved and the ghost robot pops into the image. He announces that he hates living with Danzig and finds him annoying. Plus, he never wears a shirt. Shake doesn’t care and simply demands that the robot make their house bleed right now and then we cut to the end credits.

carl's buyer

Looks like Carl has miraculously found a buyer for his bleeding house in Glenn Danzig.

So this one really isn’t much of a Christmas special. It contains a really wild tale about the origins of Santa Claus, though it will be admitted in later episodes that the ghost who spins this tale knows nothing of the past and isn’t even from the future. Like many characters on this show he’s just insane. Carl is the victim, as he often is, throughout most of the episode but actually ends up doing well in the end. The main characters of Shake, Meatwad, and Frylock actually don’t have much to do since the ghost’s story takes up so much of the meager 11 minute runtime.

angry danzig

Danzig isn’t too happy when his robot runs away. Seems like we’re overdue for a follow-up episode about a rocker and his search for his beloved robot.

There’s no denying that, as a Christmas special designed to make you have those warm, fuzzy, feels “Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future” comes up woefully short as there’s really no Christmas spirit to be found at all. How much you enjoy the episode depends on your brand of humor, and if you’re amused by the Glenn Danzig cameo (which I obviously am). Danzig apparently wrote a lot of his own lines and if you’ve ever heard him rant in an interview or on stage then that probably doesn’t surprise you as his rant at the episode’s end is very much on brand. The episode is animated crudely so it’s not particularly attractive, but there’s value in the crudeness and humor as well. I find this one funny, and it’s short enough that it doesn’t overstay its welcome (though the intentionally long back story of Santa does toe the line) so I can give this one a solid recommendation.

And if you’re looking to catch this one on television this year then you may be in luck. Adult Swim is pretty good at airing its various Christmas specials throughout December. Since this one is so old and from the pre-HD era they may bypass it. In that case, it appears to be streaming for free at adultswim.com and finding it online isn’t particularly hard either. It was also released on DVD as part of Volume 2 of the show (even though it was considered a season one episode) and getting that set probably won’t set you back much. If you liked reading this though then come back tomorrow when we’ll have another Christmas special to talk about, and I promise it will be a bit more “Christmasy” next time. See you then!