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Dec. 15 – The Nostalgia Spot Christmas Special Countdown #93 – 84

Yesterday’s installment of the countdown trended more adult. Lots of cartoons not for the kids, but today’s list definitely is more general audience. I like the spread today. It’s dominated by animation, as it so often is, but we also have a live-action, puppet, type show. We have weekend cartoons, and week day cartoons. There’s shows from Disney, shows from Warner Bros and it’s almost all entirely dominated by 90s properties. I haven’t really been keeping tabs on the decades as I go through this list, but it makes sense that the 90s would be heavily represented all throughout. That’s when cable really exploded and we had a whole bunch of cartoons with massive episode orders and throwing a Christmas one into that mass of stuff sure makes things a whole lot easier. Networks originally were said to dislike holiday episodes, but I think they changed their tune when they realized they could program an entire day, or even week, around a holiday like Christmas or Halloween. Even the prime time shows tended to do this sort of thing. Anyway, I feel like I’ve talked about all of this before so let’s cut the preamble and get to number 93:

93 – Dinosaurs – Refrigerator Day

It pretty much looks like Christmas, but with a fridge instead of a tree.

Dinosaurs was a real treat to come back to when Disney+ launched a few years ago. I watched it as a kid when it was airing on ABC, but kind of lost track of it. I think it got shuffled around some, or maybe my family latched onto something else in the same timeslot. I don’t know. What I do know is the show is great. It holds up very well in basically all respects. The satire it went for is still biting and relevant today, which is both a good and bad thing. Dinosaurs never technically did air a Christmas episode, but instead we got “Refrigerator Day” which is basically their version of Christmas. Since there is apparently no dinosaur Jesus, they worship at the altar of the refrigerator which changed their lives so completely. It’s a society that’s very consumer-driven, if you couldn’t tell. Despite that, the plot is pretty conventional and, for some, may be a tad too much like The Simpsons since Earl’s horrible boss foregoes Christmas bonuses and things get tight for the Sinclair family. However, they stumble upon a million dollar idea, the concept of store returns, and in exchange for making a huge company even more wealthy they get a few measly gifts and their repossessed appliance is returned. It’s a bit dark, but pretty funny. If you haven’t checked out Dinosaurs in a long time then do yourself a favor and go back to it. I promise you, it’s not as dominated by the baby character as you may remember.

92 – The Looney Tunes Show – A Christmas Carol

It’s a weird environment for Bugs and pals, but it also kind of works?

The Looney Tunes Show is perhaps a more interesting concept than show, but the little I’ve seen is honestly not bad. It’s basically a sitcom starring the cast of Looney Tunes. Bugs Bunny is dating Lola Bunny and is roommates with Daffy. Foghorn Leghorn is the mayor, and Yosemite Sam is more like a rich Texas guy than an outlaw. This Christmas episode of the show involves Lola directing a play, the titular A Christmas Carol, while Foghorn and Daffy head to the North Pole to try and find a way to make their local climate cooler. Their adventure is a bit more madcap, while the story with the play is more grounded. Lola turns out to be a very interesting and funny character. She’s very self-confident without any reason to be and a lot of the characters in her orbit are too polite to tell her when she’s making a bad decision. The play is basically terrible and goes way off the rails, but also the real Santa shows up for it which I honestly didn’t expect. I can’t figure out what the audience was supposed to be for this show, but I do know I was entertained by this more than I was the conventional Looney Tunes Christmas specials and that sure surprised me. It’s still not the best Looney Tunes Christmas special though.

91 – The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries – It Happened One Night Before Christmas

The folks over at Warner Bros. got a lot of mileage out of this bit.

Our second look at The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries is the stronger of the two Christmas episodes. It’s a sort-of parody of It’s a Wonderful Life, only instead of focusing on the George Bailey character it centers on a stand-in for his drunk uncle. If you’ve never seen the movie, what sets the plot in motion is George’s uncle Billy losing a deposit of money that their savings and loan business was to make that night. Essentially, they lost the money of a bunch of people and would have probably been arrested for theft or misappropriation or something. For this cartoon, Granny and her animals are going to help her brother find the money he lost by retracing his steps from the prior night. They do a solid job of tiptoeing around the whole alcoholic aspect of the Uncle Billy character to keep things PG, and we do get a Potter stand-in to act as the villain. There are some solid gags throughout and none of the characters really dominate the episode, which is a full-length one as opposed to the half-length one we looked at days ago. It will amuse you if you’re familiar with the movie, but also you don’t have to be in order to be entertained. And it even one-ups the movie by having the Potter stand-in actually face some consequences for his thievery.

90 – CatDog – A Very CatDog Christmas

It’s kind of weird that they can’t share the same tree.

The Nicktoons tended to have solid Christmas episodes, few great ones, but most of them are fine. CatDog was one I had ignored for a long time because I simply wasn’t watching Nickelodeon when it was airing. I knew it had a Christmas episode and it was on my list for years until I finally sat down and watched it just a year ago. And you know what? It’s fine. I liked it more than I expected and I’m even ranking it ahead of shows I did watch a ton of like Doug and The Ren & Stimpy Show. I’m not elevating it to the level of Rocko’s Modern Life or even Rugrats, but this episode is fun enough. It’s almost a little like Mickey’s Good Deed in that CatDog essentially sells itself to a wealthy family as a Christmas present, but then has second thoughts. It’s the Christmas special that taught us being a whore isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Everything works out though and even the bratty kid that bought them comes around. It has a pretty straight ending where everyone learns something, but it’s not too syrupy sweet or anything. If you’re like me and didn’t really give CatDog much of a chance then you may want to reconsider this Christmas.

89 – Bonkers – Miracle at the 34th Precinct

The best duo in the episode.

I still can’t believe I enjoyed an episode of Bonkers more than Darkwing Duck – and a Christmas one at that! Bonkers is the character no one wanted. He should have been Roger Rabbit, but that just wasn’t possible so we got this weird bobcat character. At least he’s better than Bubsy. This episode is a solid one though and it actually doesn’t feature a ton of the titular character. It’s centered more on his partner Lucky and an amnesiac Santa Claus. Poor Santa got knocked out of the sky and stuck with the character Fall Apart. Since no one can find him, the elves turn to the police and Lucky is chosen to basically be a stand-in. His motivation to help out is his daughter’s belief in Santa Claus. Pretty conventional stuff, but it all wraps up nicely. The animation is also gorgeous as it often is for the Disney Afternoon and the antics between Fall Apart and “Jim” are pretty funny. This also is just a fun world and the premise of the show is terrific, it just rarely came together to form a cohesive half hour of entertainment. For Christmas though, it nailed it.

88 – Batman – Christmas with the Joker

Maybe this is why Batman doesn’t seem to like Christmas?

This Christmas episode of Batman: The Animated Series is fine. It’s funny, the Joker is a good villain for this type of thing, and I usually watch it every year. It’s also an episode that I just wish was better and that’s because of the show it hails from. Batman is the greatest superhero show to ever come around. I say that as a lover of X-Men, but the quality was just so much better. The writing was tighter and the budget greater so it looks terrific. It also helps that the cast was small and that’s one reason why I just can’t get into shows like Justice League following this one. This episode is a fairly standard Joker plot where he’s kidnapped some people and there’s a bomb or something. It just happens to be at Christmas so we get some Christmas puns and festive attire out of the Joker. It unfortunately doesn’t look as good as some episodes and there’s some awkward shots in here. Maybe it was rushed so there was no danger of missing the holiday? I don’t know, I just know it’s a pretty even episode of Batman, but not one of the show’s best.

87 – It’s a Wonderful Tiny Toons Christmas Special

You just know they’re going to spoof some holiday classics.

Batman’s network-mates the Tiny Toons got to make a contribution to Christmas. Unlike the more seasoned Sylvester and Tweety, their It’s a Wonderful Life parody mostly plays it straight. In the role of George is Buster Bunny who is questioning his own worth. Not to the degree that George was, but maybe he’s just not cut out for the life he wants? Through the magic of his guardian rabbit, Harvey, Buster is going to see what life would be like had he never been on Tiny Toons. Plucky is the star, Montana Max owns the Looniversity, and Babs is a humorless solo act. Naturally, Buster has a revelation and has his life restored where he’s able to help the other toons put on an entertaining Christmas show. It doesn’t do anything to upend the framing device, but the humor of Tiny Toons is able to carry this one. Tiny Toon Adventures is a show I can only handle in small doses, but when done well it’s usually pretty rewarding. This one is animated well and there’s some easy Christmas special gags to be found as well which are real crowd pleasers. I tend to lose track of this one among the many other Warner Bros. Christmas episodes and specials, but it’s worth returning to.

86 – TaleSpin – Jolly Molly Christmas

I can’t believe those jerks made Molly cry!

TaleSpin, like Bonkers, is another Disney Afternoon show I didn’t really care for in the moment, but it has a good Christmas episode. This one centers around the child character Molly, who is the daughter of Baloo’s boss, Rebecca. She’s having a bit of a Christmas crisis where her belief in Santa Claus is in doubt and it’s mostly all because of Baloo. He, with the help of Louie, tries to stage a North Pole to trick Molly into believing, but when Louie’s bar is closed for way too long on Christmas Eve the local drunks overrun the place and blow the whole thing. Now, this episode does fly too close to the sun for me when it comes to whether or not Santa Claus is real. I don’t particularly like it when a show aimed at young children places too much doubt on his existence, but they do rectify it at the end (as if there was any doubt). And that’s really my only complaint with the episode. It otherwise is pretty entertaining and it’s very well animated and heartbroken Molly worked on me so when her moment of triumph came it also affected me in much the same way. TaleSpin isn’t reinventing the wheel when it comes to Christmas episodes, but it brings the feels.

85 – Life with Louie – Family Portrait

And that’s not even close to capturing the whole Anderson family.

Life with Louie is one of those forgotten Fox Kids shows. The network never celebrated its works like a Disney or a Nickelodeon would. They kind of just paid for them for the moment, then sold them off when it no longer suited them. As such, I think this show is owned by Disney who bought most of Fox Kids if not all. The company kind of treated most of these shows the same way Fox did using them to pad out expanded, digital, cable channels until it was no longer profitable. Some shows saw DVD release, and many did not. Life with Louie was supposed to according to series creator Louie Anderson, but it never happened. It’s too bad because Life with Louie is a sweet coming of age cartoon. There’s not a ton of stuff like that, especially from the 90s, and it managed to be plenty funny too. In this Christmas episode, Louie basically finds out a kid he thinks is the greatest is actually an orphan and it forces him to reexamine his own relationship with his family. It’s all heartwarming stuff and we get to see Louie’s dad be forced to play Santa which is where a lot of the comedy comes from. I prefer the first Christmas episode from this show more, but this is a worthy (if unexpected) follow-up.

84 – Animaniacs – ‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

Come back next year!

Sing it with me, “It’s time for Animaniacs!” Yes, the first of three entries for the series is “‘Twas the Day Before Christmas.” In 1993, Animaniacs did the odd thing of releasing two Christmas episodes. I guess when you’re a weekday afternoon program you can afford to do that. It also helps that Animaniacs was a pretty large ensemble so giving everyone their own Christmas arc was just not possible in a single half hour episode. Maybe they first envisioned an hour long prime time affair? I don’t know, but this is the lesser of the two despite the other one being a parody of A Christmas Carol. I know – shocking! And the main segment is basically designed to squeeze most of the cast into one short as Aunt Slappy relays the story about the day before Christmas on the Warner lot. It’s the strongest segment across both specials, but it’s not very substantial since its just Slappy reading a parody of A Visit From Saint Nicholas with some funny stuff animated to it. The second segment is Chicken Boo who is playing a mall Santa. One kid sees the character for what it is, a chicken, but no one else does and he freaks out. It’s pretty damn funny, but also brief. The third segment is just the Warners in a toy store after hours where the toys come to life. It’s pretty weak and drags this one down, but it’s not terrible. It’s still an entertaining 25 minutes and most of these characters work best in quick bursts anyway, but there’s better stuff ahead. Especially for a couple of laboratory mice.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

Dec. 15 – Popeye the Sailor – “Seasin’s Greetinks!”

When it comes to Christmas themed cartoons featuring Popeye, I’ve somehow managed to work backwards. We’ve looked at two previous Popeye cartoons that center around the holiday, but today’s Christmas short is Popeye’s very first. It comes to us all the way from 1933 where it premiered as just the fourth Popeye cartoon. I don’t…

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Dec. 15 – Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas

Today we continue our lookback at the best holiday specials ever sent to television and today’s subject is everyone’s favorite pair of Gen X deadbeats Beavis and Butt-Head. Beavis and Butt-Head were created by Mike Judge and the pair got its start on MTV’s Liquid Television in 1992. There they were a cruel, destructive, pair…

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Dec. 15 – South Park – “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo”

Today we are continuing our look back at the best of the best when it comes to Christmas specials and today’s entrant comes from the quiet, mountain, town of South Park. South Park burst onto the scene in 1997 and basically transformed the Comedy Central network from the get-go. The show about four foul-mouthed kids…

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Dec. 19 – Life with Louie – “Family Portrait”

Original air date December 20, 1997.

If you were a mid-tier comedian in the 90s looking to breakthrough into television then Fox was the network for you. Whether it was via sitcom or cartoon, Fox seemed to think this was a winning strategy which is apparently why comedian Louie Anderson got his own show called Life with Louie. Life with Louie was pretty unique when compared with the rest of the Fox Kids lineup in the mid 90s. Most of the shows were either superhero cartoons or some kind of wacky offering. Life with Louie was a more grounded show and was basically a slice of life animated sitcom. It was slightly autobiographical as it starred a kid version of Louie (voiced by himself) and just followed his day-to-day life dealing with typical kid problems. It was a show that was allowed to have more heart than the rest of the lineup which is perhaps why it managed to attract critical acclaim.

I don’t know if Life with Louie was popular in spite of its unique approach. I watched it, but I can’t recall ever having a conversation about the show with another kid. It also wasn’t appointment viewing for me, but I was a pretty loyal Fox Kids watcher on Saturday morning so I saw a lot of the show. It’s a show that probably would have felt more at home as part of the ABC One Saturday Morning lineup, but at least on Fox it got to stand out a bit. As I got older, Saturday morning stopped being appointment viewing for me. I probably slept through most of the programming including Life with Louie. As a result, I’m far more familiar with the first season as opposed to the later ones.

They know what they’re doing when it comes to Christmas.

The show basically followed in the footsteps of The Simpsons and premiered with a Christmas episode. We’ve already looked at that one, and it was an episode that was featured in primetime. Fox liked to pull that trick with its animated shows. The calendar in December was often where most shows took time off for reruns. Holiday specials worked their way into lineups because back then most people didn’t own physical copies of those shows so they were like appointment viewing. Miss it, and you had to wait a whole year to see it again. Life with Louie‘s second Christmas episode didn’t get the same treatment. By then, the show was in its third and final season and would only air three more episodes after it. It must not have been a big hit for Fox since the final episode count ended up being 39. In other words, it never got that full series order most animated shows strive for (usually 52 episodes, sometimes 65). Still, 39 episodes isn’t a bad run and the first Christmas special was pretty good so I’m feeling relatively confident going into this one which I have never seen.

Louie and Tommy are not thrilled to find out that Santa has a five dollar limit.

The episode begins with the typical song, but all of the clips used in the intro are Christmas or winter related. Since the show only had two Christmas episodes, they’re basically all taken from the first episode and the one we’re about to watch. The episode begins with a narration by Anderson, as all do. No live-action segment as we go straight to animation. It’s Louie, his brother Tommy (Miko Hughes), and his mother Ora (Edie McClurg) and dad Andy (Anderson) strolling through downtown Cedar Knoll. As the narration explains, winter in Wisconsin lasted a long time, but Christmas was like the relief from that long, cold, winter. Unfortunately for Louie, he’s one of 11 children to Ora and Andy so his dad informs him that there’s a five dollar limit on Christmas. Louie is pretty glum about this and responds with a healthy dose of sarcasm suggesting he and Tommy each ask for half of the alphabet and then maybe next year they’ll get a board they can spell out “Thank you” on. Anderson, as narrator, does explain that five bucks went a lot further when he was a kid than it did in the mid 90s, but not far enough to get something really cool. This is demonstrated when a shopkeeper changes the price on a window display of a remote-controlled Jeep from five bucks to seven.

I should also get it out of the way now, that despite Louie having so many siblings, Tommy is really the only one we see featured much. I guess the cast just would have been too massive otherwise so they’re usually offscreen and mentioned only in passing. I also find it funny that for kid Louie, Anderson does a deeper voice than his natural one, and for his dad he does a higher, nasally, one. Having never heard the real Andy Anderson speak I can only assume this is what he sounded like. Or Louie just decided this was way funnier.

This kid is most definitely an orphan or something.

We next find Louie at school getting lunch and discussing Christmas presents with his friends. He’s pretty mopey about this imposed five dollar limit (the subject of Santa is not discussed so I take it these kids are all non-believers, or Santa just fills stockings and parents get the good stuff) while most of his buddies are all expecting something more extravagant. Everyone that is, except Teako (Jer Adrianne Lelliott). I don’t think Teako is a regular character and is someone introduced for this episode, which means he’s definitely part of the plot. He’s not joining in with the other kids eating lunch and is instead shooting a basketball since the cafeteria doubles as a gymnasium. My schools all did the same, but we were never allowed to shoot hoops at lunch. Anyway, he indicates he doesn’t know what he’s asking his parents for Christmas and doesn’t really have much to say about the holiday in general. Instead, he seems like he wants to change the subject and asks if anyone wants to play HORSE. Toddler (Justin Jon Ross), offers to play with him and the subject is seemingly dropped. Teako is definitely either poor or an orphan or both – I’m calling it now.

Judging by his expression, I’m guessing playing Santa for Tommy’s class wasn’t Andy’s idea.

In Tommy’s classroom, the teacher (possibly Samantha Dean) is eager to welcome Santa Claus to entertain the kids today. And playing Santa is none other than Mr. Anderson. He looks the part well enough and the kids seem pretty excited to have him there, but when the teacher suggest he sing some Christmas carols he balks. His schtick in this show is that he basically doesn’t want to do anything, but despite whatever protest he musters he basically goes along with it anyway which is exactly what happens here. Andy isn’t much of a singer though, so the kids aren’t exactly enjoying his rendition of “Deck the Halls.” He’s also changing the words as he goes to make it a song about kids driving their fathers nuts around Christmas. He may not be much of a singer, but he’s a pretty good ad-libber. Tommy started off enjoying seeing his father in some state of misery, but is now more embarrassed than anything. And the other kids staring at him would seem to indicate they all know who this Santa really is. When Andy is finished with his song, Tommy decides to, I guess, get even in a way by asking where all of the presents are? This sets off a stampede of kindergarteners who soon overwhelm Andy who acts like he’s under siege in a war situation.

Those kids are mongrels!

Andy and Tommy return home and his Santa suit is in tatters. Andy refers to the children as demented demons as he holds up what remains of his suit for his wife Ora, who downplays the abuse. He casually strips down into his long underwear and approaches his recliner, which Louie is presently occupying. I like how it’s basically understood that Louie is expected to vacate the chair for his old man and he does so. Andy collapses into the chair vowing to never play Santa again, but Ora has some bad news for him: she already signed him up to play Santa at the local orphanage (told you, Teako is definitely a resident) and Andy complains about it, but you know he’s going to go along with it. Louie, enjoying his father’s misery, asks him what happened to his heart and Andy replies “I gave it to the Tin Man.” Pretty good comeback, Anderson.

Teako is the kind of friend that allows Louie to feel good about himself. We all need friends like that.

The next day, we find Louie and his classmates engaged in a good old-fashioned game of dodgeball. The bully characters, lead by chief rival Glen Glenn (Justin Shenkarow), are all on one side while Louie and friends are on the other. They’re not doing so hot, but Teako is on their team and he’s pretty damn good. Louie, on the other hand, is trying his best to avoid getting nailed by a rubber ball including hiding behind Toddler, who as you may have guessed based on his nickname, is a pretty small kid on his own. Eventually, it’s down to just Teako and Louie versus Glen. When Glen misses, Teako asks Louie if he’s ready and hands him a ball. Louie is reluctant, but seems to trust Teako. Teako tosses his ball in a high arc, like he’s shooting hoops. Glen laughs at what he feels is a wimpy throw, but it’s just a diversion. Teako tells Louie “Now!” and he runs, trips, but still manages to get his shot off. He hits Glen right in the belly while Teako’s ball hits him in the head for added insult. As the kids rain praise down on Louie and Teako, Louie explains that “It’s all in the wrist.”

Please note, I am not fat-shaming when I say that is an unhealthy amount of cookies for one kid to consume. Andy, Ora, you gotta set some limits here.

We return to the Anderson residence where Andy is still grouchy about having to play Santa. He’s standing on an ottoman while Ora repairs the Santa suit as he wears it. He’s now irritated because he doesn’t think he’s fat enough to play Santa, and yet he always gets asked to do it. As he says it, he undermines his own argument by complaining that the suit is too tight. Ora then has more bad news for him: his mother and brother Eric are coming for Christmas dinner. He winces as she accidentally sticks him with the needle she’s using to sew up the costume, but when she apologizes for doing so he corrects her and says he was wincing from the pain of finding out his relatives were coming, not the needle in his side. Louie then enters from the kitchen with a glass of milk and a massive plate of cookies. His mom wants to know if he’s decided on what he wants for Christmas, but Louie just complains about the dollar limit once again. This just earns him a lecture from his dad, one of those “In my day,” talks where his dad says he was lucky to get a lump of coal which he then had to rely on for warmth all winter long. As Louie disappears upstairs to consume an unhealthy amount of cookies in his room, his mother remarks that Christmas isn’t just about getting presents. Andy agrees and notes it’s also the time when annoying relatives invade your house and ruin your holiday.

The fear of serious bodily harm just adds to the fun!

The next day, Louie and his friends are out sledding. They have one, large, toboggan style sled and they’re on a large hill overlooking the orphanage. Louie makes a somewhat callous remark how it must be great to be an orphan and not have a family, which Teako tries to brush off. Louie wants to sled down that side of the hill, but Teako suggests the other side which the other kids refer to as Concussion Corridor. Local lore says that only Glen Glenn has survived such an attempt and Louie points out how that must have worked out for him considering his present disposition. Teako likes a challenge and encourages Louie to try it insisting that his steering will see them through. The others just kind of go along with Teako, albeit apprehensively, and soon they’re off! Despite Teako’s confidence, Louie’s piloting skills appear to be lacking some polish as they crash into a rock. Everyone is sent flying and Toddler momentarily thinks his legs were separated from his body, but it was just the legs of Mike who landed headfirst in the snow. Despite the crash, everyone seems all right and, best of all, they had a blast! Louie insists they head to his house next where they’ll almost certainly be able to score some hot chocolate.

Louie is not very appreciative of what he has, which is pretty typical of all children.

The kids enter the Anderson home to find Louie’s mom setting up the Christmas tree and listening to Christmas music. The second they enter she asks if anyone wants hot chocolate and Louie points out that she’s a mind reader. As the kids settle on the floor to drink hot chocolate, Teako is in awe of all of Louie’s comic books. Mike (Justin Shenkarow) asks Louie if his electric football game is hanging around which draws more awe from Teako. And when Mike opens a closet to retrieve said game, he can hardly believe how much stuff is in there. Louie dismisses it as all junk completely oblivious to the trials of his new friend. Tommy then comes over because he’s seen Teako playing basketball at school and thinks he’s amazing. He even wants the kid to sign his ball, but Louie ushers him away. When he complains about how annoying little brothers are, Teako suggests that the kid seems fine to him. Louie’s mom then delivers a plate full of homemade Christmas cookies which draws more awe from Teako. As they settle in to play the electric football game, Louie laments having a large family and wishes he was an only child. Teako tries to tell him that being an only child isn’t so great and that he wishes he had a big family like Louie’s, but Mike just corrects him by saying he has yet to meet “Corporal Keister.”

I love Louie’s mom, she’s do damn cute. I hope he was nice to her during his teenage years.

Evening arrives and the kids all go their separate ways, but not without thanking Mrs. Anderson for a lovely time. She’s pretty impressed with Teako and Louie shares her sentiment pointing out that he’s handsome, popular, good at sports, and he’s an only child. Who wouldn’t want to be him? Ora doesn’t try to change her son’s opinion, just offers up some classic Mom talk by saying he must be a smart kid too since he’s chosen Louie as a friend. She’s so cute and earnest that this sweet stuff is working like a charm on me.

What can a kid get for five bucks? There must be something since when I was a kid I could at least get an action figure for that kind of money.

The next day, Louie, Teako, and Mike are roaming the streets of town since Louie has yet to figure out what to ask Santa for Christmas. Mike can’t believe that Louie can’t find something worthwhile for five bucks. Louie is still pretty sullen and as they look at the remote control Jeep from earlier he opines that five bucks probably couldn’t even get him the batteries that power the thing. Teako tries to be helpful and suggests a book, but Michael looks at him like he’s got two heads at the mere suggestion of such. He then pivots to a gumball machine as they’re in a store that has one for five bucks. Mike is quick to point out that it doesn’t come with gum. Louie then allows himself a moment of panic for if he can’t find something then he’s sure to get something terrible. Teako seems dubious of such, but Louie tells him that’s how he got a flywheel for his birthday.

Heh.

At the Anderson house, it’s time for the old man to get ready for his star turn as Santa Claus for the orphans. He’s about as happy as you would expect. Ora is very supportive and reminds him that all of the gifts will be labeled with each kids name. He just snaps back at her that he knows how to read, but asks where the gifts are? Speak of the devil as the doorbell rings and some delivery men show up with a trio of massive sacks of presents. Andy has no idea how he’s supposed to manage such a volume, but Louie and Tommy laughing at him gives him an idea. We then cut to Louie dressed as an elf and Tommy a reindeer. Andy is pretty proud of his solution and if I’m not mistaken I think he rather likes the fact that his boys get to share in his misery this evening. Ora, naturally, thinks they’re adorable resulting in Louie asking if he can be adorable in his regular clothes?

This is a terrible idea.

Louie’s concerns are dismissed as the boys set out with three sacks of gifts strapped to the roof of Andy’s station wagon, The Rambler. He backs into his neighbor’s garbage cans and serenades the boys with his own rendition of “Silent Night” as they head for the orphanage. In between each line he inserts his own comments, such as “Silent Night (not if you have 11 kids). Holy night (What? Did they see my boxers?).” At the orphanage, Ora is there passing out snacks and such when her boys show up. Andy is ready to haul the gifts inside, but Louie and Tommy see this as an opportunity to get back at their father for making them dress up. Louie insists that he can’t enter through the front door as Santa, he has to go down the chimney. This has “bad idea” written all over it and Andy knows, but in typical Andy fashion, he whines and complains, but ultimately does as suggested. I don’t know how they got to the roof, but they did and Louie and Tommy help stuff their father down the chimney. It’s a little more than a tight fit, but where there’s a will there’s a way! Andy lands hard on his rump and then mistakenly calls for the presents which follow close behind. As for Louie and Tommy, well, they’re not Santa so they waltz in through the front door!

You know, I think he actually likes this Santa thing.

The kids are pretty happy to see Santa and Ora makes the mistake of mentioning presents. Poor Andy gets assaulted just as he did in Tommy’s class and he points that out by crying, “Deja vu!” After things settle down, Santa Andy starts handing out gifts. As kids come up to retrieve them, Louie calls out the price on each item since they’re all well above five bucks. Andy actually seems like he’s enjoying himself, though probably not his son’s quips. He tells Louie to do him a favor and go brush the snow off his car, of course, catching himself in the moment and correcting it to “sleigh.”

Louie may be shocked, but I am not.

We then come to the last gift which is for a kid named Russell. Andy calls the name out a few times, and then, predictably, from the shadows emerges Teako. Louie gasps when he sees his friend, who just cheerfully says “Hi Louie,” as he walks by to receive his present. Louie asks why everyone calls him Teako when his name is Russell and, get ready for more sadness, he explains it’s because it’s short for “Antique.” Being the oldest kid in the orphanage, he acquired a nickname which has been shortened overtime to Teak or Teako. God damn, it’s getting dusty in here. Ora then suggests to Teako that he open his gift and so he does. To Louie’s surprise it’s an electric train set which he’s quick to call out to his dad costs $29.99! Teako ignores him and asks if he’d like to help him set it up and Louie agrees on account of the fact that he’ll never get one.

Look at that adorable little rascal!

With the train setup, Teako and Louie are able to play and have a little heart-to-heart. Louie asks him why he never mentioned he was an orphan and Teako confesses he’s a little embarrassed by it. He tells Louie that he’s lucky to have parents and siblings and for once Louie agrees with him, though not all that convinced by the sound of things. He also refers to his dad sarcastically as Dean Martin since he’s busy leading the kids in a horrible version of “Jingle Bells,” one that ends with him wishing he was on the frontlines of war instead of here. Andy then makes for the snack table and boasts to Ora that these kids are totally buying into him as Santa Claus. Then some kid calls him Mr. Anderson and he’s forced to concede that maybe his performance isn’t that impressive. Louie comes over and tells his parents he finally knows what he wants for Christmas: for Teako to be able to spend Christmas with the Andersons! Andy is predictably aghast and complains about having another mouth to feed, but he should probably shut his yap since I bet he’s coming out ahead on this one. Louie’s mom asks him if he’s sure he wouldn’t want a real present, but Louie just returns her sentiment that Christmas isn’t only about getting stuff which is music to a mom’s ears. As she turns her attention to Andy, Louie’s smiling, elf, face gets smushed between his parents in what is almost certainly going to be the featured image of this post.

By far, the most cartoony moment of this otherwise relatively grounded show.

Christmas comes, and as requested, Teako is there to spend it with Louie’s family. And so are Louie’s relatives who his father isn’t exactly thrilled to have over. Before they go in for dinner, Louie, Tommy, and Teako are shown playing tag outside and Louie takes a tumble. When he enters the house, he’s literally a snowball. His grandmother (Inga Swenson) is there and she has what sounds like a Swedish accent. I’m guessing Louie’s grandfather didn’t have the same since Anderson is about as vanilla a name as it gets. Andy can soon be heard asking his wife for his vice grips as he’s having some difficulty with a jar of something. This just invites a scolding from his mother who opens it without a fuss.

Let’s see how the old man handles this one.

Louie and Teako take a seat at one of the three tables setup in the Anderson living room. One of Louie’s seldom seen older siblings pops in and asks if Teako is some cousin he’s never met. When Louie tells him that Teako is his friend his brother laughs and suggests the kid must have lost a bet. Louie is ready for a comeback though as he tells Teako this is the brother who’s never had a date. Grandma Helga then suggests to her son that he should say the blessing before dinner. Andy does his best, and his best isn’t very good, “If you’re listening, big guy, thanks for the viddles. And thanks for bringing our family together,” followed by something unintelligible to my ear. His brother, Eric (Stephen Tobolowsky), tells Andy his blessing was very nice and Andy is quick to point out “I didn’t mean you!”

I think Teako is having a good time.

Ora then encourages everyone to dig in and a free for all ensues. Teako is aghast at how quickly the food is flying around, but he basically just sticks his plate out and it gets passed around and loaded up with all kinds of stuff. The same is true for Louie and the two share a smile as they dig in. We then cut to the kids watching TV. It’s the original version of Miracle on 34th Street and it’s the scene where the little, Dutch, orphan is introduced to Santa Claus. They use the actual footage, which is something they also did in the first Christmas special only then it was It’s a Wonderful Life. The movie is interrupted by Eric asking his brother if he’s still driving the same car. Andy happily declares he still is listing all of the stuff that’s basically wrong with it, but it has 750,000 miles on it (but is also on its fourth engine). Eric tells him he needs to upgrade to a luxury car, but Andy just sort of growls in response.

I guess he kind of had that one coming.

Eric takes the opportunity to flaunt his new camera in his brother’s face noting it cost him a pretty penny. Andy is unimpressed, but has nothing to throw back in his brother’s face, that is until his own flesh and blood approaches with a gift for their dear old dad. Louie and Tommy present a present to their father and he tries to rub it in his brother’s face how much his kids appreciate him. Then he opens it to find a lump of coal which gives everyone a good laugh. Andy is a little pissed at first, but then starts to suggest it can keep the family warm into February, then under his breath whispers “Or start a fire under Eric’s car.”

Such a lovely family.

Eric either doesn’t hear that part or takes it in stride and instead declares that they should take a family photo. Teako offers to take the picture, but of course Louie wants his friend to join in the picture. No problem, as Eric points out they can use the timer feature on this fancy, new, camera of his. He sets it on the television and everyone takes their place. Then they wait, and wait, and by the time the camera goes off they have all started doing something else.

He sure knows how to clear a room.

It’s time to pass out stockings and there’s even one for Teako. Or should I say Teco? The credits on IMDB list him as Teako, but the stocking says Teco. I’m not changing it now. Andy reaches under the tree, now back in his Santa threads, and mentions he has “a surprise for you, son.” Louie is indeed surprised when the gift is for Teako, and the moment is captured by Uncle Eric’s camera. The real Louie’s voice enters to wrap things up. As we see Louie and Teako playing checkers (I guess that was his gift?), Louie tells us sometimes the best gift you can get is spending time with the people you like the most. We see quick cuts of the pair making cookies and the family being lead in song by Andy. “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” which no one seems to be enjoying except for Andy. It’s his own version which highlights his unfortunate existence. Everyone walks away, but the song ends on a rather sweet note with Andy concluding “And a wife who stands by me throughout it all!” He mumbles that he should have been a singer as we fade out.

As expected, “Family Portrait” was a sweet and earnest Christmas episode from Life with Louie. I could see the plot beats coming a mile away and I ate it all up. It was cute. Louie’s obliviousness to how good he has it, Teako’s genuine good heart, and even old man Anderson who despite the grumbling and protesting seems to always do the right thing. Louie Anderson turned his father into a comedic figure, but you can also tell the guy must really love and respect his old man. And his mom is portrayed in such a positive manner too that I just keep coming back to the fact that it’s all just sweet. Very, very, sweet.

If there is a touch of cynicism to this thing it wouldn’t work. It lets the characters and the moment get just touching and sappy enough and knows when to ease up. It would have probably been over-the-top if the Andersons announced they were adopting Teako. They have 11 kids already and seem to basically just get by, adding a twelfth would probably be unwise. And Teako, despite some embarrassment at being an orphan, seems to be a well-adjusted kid. He may not have a family of his own, but he has a pretty strong group of friends and a good support system. If the kid was ever in trouble or needed anything you know Louie’s mom wouldn’t hesitate to make it happen.

I hope Louie’s parents lived long enough to see this show because his affection for them shines pretty bright.

I’m left wishing that this wasn’t basically the end of Life with Louie. These characters are interesting to me and it would have been nice to see how everything turned out. I know the show is somewhat autobiographical, but I don’t think it is down to the plot. As in, I don’t think Louie Anderson ever had an orphan boy over for Christmas as his Christmas gift. I could be wrong, and I don’t know if it was ever asked of him. He’s unfortunately no longer with us, though I’m assuming some of his 10 siblings are so maybe they could recall?

It’s not important though. This is a perfectly fine Christmas special whether the events depicted happened or not. And it is indeed one I recommend along with the other Christmas episode of Life with Louie. They’re both feel good Christmas stories that manage to feel sentimental and heartfelt, but without crossing over into corny territory. I don’t know how they pulled it off and if I did I’d write a hundred Christmas specials of my own. It’s not an easy thing. Life with Louie sadly never got the full DVD or Blu Ray release Louie Anderson seemed to think was imminent making it a lot like some of the other Fox Kids originals. On the plus side, that means it’s readily available online streaming for free and since the show did air on digital cable at one time the transfers are pretty good. You just have to deal with the stupid JETIX logo that channel superimposed over everything. Their program director had no sense of taste.

Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:

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I’m quite surprised to have made it all the way to December 19 without resorting to The Simpsons, American Dad!, Bob’s Burgers, or some other animated sitcom that has an annual, or near annual, Christmas episode. Not that I have been avoiding such shows, and I may turn to one again before this is all…

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Dec. 19 – Krazy Kat – “Krazy’s Krismas”

One of the most celebrated comic strips of all time is Krazy Kat by George Herriman. Krazy Kat debuted in the New York Evening Journal in 1913 and concluded its run in 1944. It contained a fairly simply premise where a cat named Krazy pined for a mouse named Ignatz, only the mouse hated the…

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