When I was a kid, Christmas was a big deal. Obviously, it’s a big deal for any kid that celebrates it, but it was an especially big deal for my grandmother on my mother’s side (Grandma). I wasn’t really aware of it, but she felt like she was in competition to get my sister and I the best stuff when it came to the holiday. It’s what she looked forward to the most. Unbeknownst to me at the time, but in the summer of 1995 my Nana, that’s my grandmother on my dad’s side, was already planning on giving me my own television for Christmas. Now, my mom has just one sibling, but my dad has eight. Nana had to figure out her own system for the holidays because she had nearly 20 grandkids to buy presents for. It kind of went when you’re little you get toys, and when you’re a teen, you get cash. It was that sweet spot in the middle where she tried to get you something nice, and in 1995, getting a TV was pretty damn nice even if it was a modest 13″ device. And because of the expense of the holiday, Nana had to plan that stuff out all year so she was in position to get the best deals she could.
To bring this on topic, me getting a TV meant Grandma had to really step up her game so the second the Sears Wish Book started showing up she had me seated at a table picking through it looking for the best possible item. I was pointing to little things here and there and I could tell she was getting uncharacteristically frustrated at my modest selections. She prodded me for something “big,” and in my memory, right after she said that I flipped the page and saw it staring right at me: the Sony PlayStation. At that point, PlayStation was brand new and retailed for $300. My mom immediately said “No,” but Grandma was quiet. I could tell the wheels were turning as she stared at that glossy print. Then came the bargaining. “Well,” she started, “between clothes and toys that’s probably pretty close to what I spend on each grandchild at Christmas.” Right then and there, I knew it was locked-in. Grandma had made up her mind and my mother was not going to talk her out of it. It would be the only thing I got that Christmas that came from a store. Grandma did knit me a blanket and I still have that blanket to this very day even though I haven’t had a grandma for over 10 years. And that PlayStation? Yeah, I still have that too.
The funny thing about that PlayStation is, in my mind, it was an unattainable thing like a NeoGeo or a Sega CD. I never thought I’d have one prior to that day, so I didn’t even know what games were really on it. I asked “Santa,” even though I had long outgrown that, for Doom because I had played it a bit at a friend’s house on his PC and GamePro gave it a perfect score. Outside of that, I was clueless. When I did get that PlayStation, I was surprised to see it came with a demo disc. It had a few playable demos on it – I recall Jumping Flash having a level and you could try and three fighters from Battle Arena Toshinden could be tried out. In addition to those, there were video demos and one of those was Twisted Metal. It turns out, I’m not that into Doom, so I quickly spent whatever money I had collected between report cards and the holidays to get another game and Twisted Metal was the one I settled on. I loved it! And I loved the sequel even more when it came out. Twisted Metal Black is one of my all-time favorites, so yeah, you can consider me a fan of the series.
And since I’m such a fan, you would think I would have been excited when it was announced that the video game was being adapted for television. Truth be told, I could not have cared less. I assumed it would be hot garbage. How do you turn a glorified demolition derby into compelling television without it being just that – a glorified, now scripted, demolition derby? I’m no poet or anything, but at the height of my fandom in middle school I even tried turning the first game into a story and gave up. Even I, who enjoyed doing all kinds of fanfic and stuff like that, couldn’t make it work for an audience of one. There are definitely some colorful characters associated with the franchise and the story mode in Twisted Metal Black was fairly entertaining, but I just didn’t see how it could work.
Then it got some decent names attached to it. The game was adapted for television by the team of Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, and Michael Jonathan Smith. Reese and Wernick have worked together on films such as Zombieland, Deadpool, and their respective sequels. Reese even got started working with Disney writing films like Dinosaur and Monsters, Inc. That’s a pretty interesting resume, and Zombieland certainly feels like it might work with cars. Anthony Mackie was attached to star and the supporting cast was announced to include Stephanie Beatriz, Thomas Haden Church, Neve Campbell, and the duo of Joe Seanoa (better known to wrestling fans as Samoa Joe) and Will Arnett as Sweet Tooth with Arnett providing the voice for the character. I was forced to admit that I was intrigued, so when the show dropped on Peacock this summer I decided to take it for a spin.
Twisted Metal is set 20 years after the Apocalypse. The show doesn’t go into great detail about what happened, but essentially there was a massive failure in the power grid. I don’t know if it was a global catastrophe, or just related to the United States, but essentially everything went to Hell. Cities were sectioned off and the presumably wealthy and powerful remained inside the walled off municipalities while the rest of humanity was left to fight over the scraps. John Doe (Mackie) is a milk man. He basically does deliveries of various products between cities which makes him a target for vandals and such. It’s not an easy life, but it’s the only one he knows as he’s been doing it since he was a kid. He has no memory of his family or who he is, he just has a partially burnt picture to remind him of the life he once had.
In the very first episode, John is given a special task by Raven (Neve Campbell), the head of the San Francisco city, to retrieve an item for her in New Chicago. The journey is essentially a suicide mission, but if John pulls it off in 10 days he’ll be invited inside to live out the rest of his days in relative peace. He gets a little taste of life on the inside as a show of sorts before accepting the job and we’re off and running. Along the way, he’ll meet Quiet (Stephanie Beatriz), a mute woman who was previously traveling with her brother until they ran afoul of Agent Stone (Thomas Haden Church). He’s the self-appointed lawman that’s going to bring the country back to law and order and his methods are brutal and fascist. He’s been able to amass a following though, which includes the duo of Mike (Tahj Vaughans) and Stu (Mike Mitchell). And then, of course, there’s Sweet Tooth who resides in Vegas and is someone no one wants to cross paths with.
Through circumstance, John and Quiet are going to end up an unlikely duo and that’s the foundation of the show. It’s basically an odd couple pairing that’s also a bit like a buddy cop road trip. Quiet and John are going to clash. John is a rather cheerful sort who wants everyone to like him, while Quiet is…quiet. She would rather not speak, though we’ll quickly learn that’s by choice. She’s had a tough go of things so it’s understandable that she would have a hard time relating to John, but she has her own priorities as well. And since our co-leads are male and female, there’s going to be some sexual tension to play up as well. It’s all very conventional, which is the show’s greatest failing. The dialogue is not nearly as inventive as we’ve seen in other projects by Reese and Wernick. Maybe that’s because the actors in those films did more ad-libbing? They want there to be a lot of jokes and witty remarks from our leads, but it all feels contrived. There’s not a natural chemistry between our leads, but it does at least get better. Oddly, the tipping point for me was the show’s eighth episode which is all about John’s car – go figure.
What might frustrate viewers is the character of Sweet Tooth. He’s basically the star of the video game franchise and he’s introduced quickly in this show, but then disappears for long stretches. He’ll eventually get a pairing of his own (and I’m not talking about Harold, though he’s here too) that actually does work. I don’t want to spoil anything, but he finds himself riding with a character he plays off of well. Sweet Tooth is an aspiring performer and if people respond in an inauthentic way to his art he, well, kills them. He’s the type of character that others need to walk around on eggshells with even if he appears to be friendly with them. It’s pretty conventional stuff, but it works to create tension and at least with him I wasn’t always certain what was going to come next. The portrayal is great, there just isn’t enough of it.
As for the rest, there’s not a ton from the video games for viewers to latch onto. And that’s a good thing, as a direct adaptation would have failed spectacularly. There are plenty of references and even characters from the games, but they’re all changed-up quite a bit. They play more like homages, and in some cases the connection is little more than a name (wait till you see why they call him Mr. Slam). John Doe could be the same John Doe that’s in Twisted Metal Black, but his backstory is completely different. His car, which he named Evelyn, vaguely resembles some of the Roadkill vehicles from the series, but he’s basically a brand new character. As for Quiet, I’m not sure if she is modeled after anyone. If she is, it’s not obvious. Along the way, there are other vehicles that will certainly remind viewers of the same from the games. The show doesn’t just stick to the games most fans view favorably, meaning you will see some references to the 989 games so I suppose that’s good for those who grew up with Twisted Metal 3 and 4.
The look of the show is very much in-line with other post-apocalyptic films and TV shows, though it’s merely window-dressing. This setting appears to have plenty of gas available and the characters have little issue finding food. They didn’t want it to be play like a survival genre show like The Last of Us, so I get it, but for some it may be irritating. It appears to have a solid budget as most episodes take place in a completely different location from the previous one. For a show based on a video game about car combat, there isn’t a ton of that throughout, but they did save some fireworks for the finale. And when it wants to, it can be a pretty cool exhibition of stunt driving and practical effects. Explosions, flipped cars, plenty of gruesome kills. You’re going to see a lot of people get killed in various and bloody ways. It’s all done with a pretty light tone which is what one would expect from Reese and Wernick. There’s a lot of jokes, many of which are of the obvious variety, but some genuine laughs can be found too. It’s probably not a great ratio though as I’d say 1 out of 4 one-liners land as intended. Some of the corny remarks are certainly intended to be just that, but plenty are not and will likely induce a groan or two.
Twisted Metal is definitely a show that’s probably better than it has any reason to be, but is it good? I waffled on that one as I watched each of the 10 episodes over the course of two weeks. Rarely when an episode ended did I feel compelled to jump into the next one, which is how I was able to spread it out. I can’t tell if the actors were just handed subpar material to work with, or if they’re just not getting it. I poked fun at the humor elements, but even the dramatic stuff can fall flat. It did at least get better and I was satisfied with where it ended up. Outside of the Sweet Tooth stuff, it just took until really that 8th episode before it became something I wanted to watch as opposed to something I was just killing time with. There’s one episode that’s essentially a bottle episode where John and Quiet are stuck inside a fast food joint for the entire duration of the episode. I felt like that was supposed to be the most important episode of the season, but it just didn’t land, and again, it’s because the leads just didn’t gel in a satisfying manner. There’s a way too on the nose metaphor about letting go in that episode that is supposed to land as a poignant moment, but for me it just looked like amateur hour. And even after 10 episodes, I’m still not sure if I’m sold on the John/Quiet pairing. And while I liked the performance of Beatriz probably more than any other actor in the show, I felt Quiet too often changed gears. She went from angry, tortured, woman who refused to speak to a quip-machine way too quickly and often for me. It’s like the show was only interested in the opposites attract aspect of their leads for a little while and then decided they should both essentially be the same and bounce one-liners off each other.
The first season ends with a setup for a second season. And if that second season comes to fruition, it looks like it could be more like the video games than this season. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a good thing, but I suppose they’ve earned the right to try. Per Peacock, where this show is streaming, it supposedly had a strong debut and the critical reception seems to be at an acceptable level. The budget for the first season was around $45 million and unless Peacock locked-in the cost for a second season with the talent involved, it stands to reason a season two will cost a little more than that. Is it enough? I have no idea as I don’t think anyone can figure out what streaming shows merit additional seasons and what don’t. And presently there are some pretty big strikes taking place over that issue so who knows? If you want some light entertainment (with gory violence) or are just curious to see how Twisted Metal could work as a show it’s probably worth a look. With each episode being about a half hour, it doesn’t take long to get through it. It just sucks that it takes a while to get going so some may not see it through to the end. As for me, I don’t regret spending approximately five hours of my life in this world and there was some enjoyment in spotting the references. It’s probably about as good as an adaption of the game could be and I think it does a reasonable job of finding the game’s ton as something between the wackiness of Twisted Metal 2 and the dark and grim Black. I’m not really that curious on where the show goes from here, but it definitely left me wanting a new, and good, Twisted Metal video game. Make it happen, Sony!
If you’d like to read some dated thoughts on Twisted Metal, or maybe a Twisted Metal-adjacent toy review, then check these out:
Greatest Games: Twisted Metal Black
The vehicular combat genre of games has been around for almost as long as video games have. They either take the form of a more traditional tank battle or a more outlandish game of chicken with machine guns and rocket launchers. As such, tracing its origins proves quite difficult. For me, the vehicular combat genre…
Keep reading
Twisted Metal (2012)
If you frequent this blog you may have noticed that I do not post many negative reviews. That’s because, for the most part, I’d rather talk about things I like and enjoy and not things that irritate me or make me mad. There have been some exceptions. I set out to review all of the…
Keep reading
Marvel Legends Deadpool 2 Two-Pack
Look through my various toy reviews and you’ll probably notice that I’m not much of a Marvel guy. That wasn’t always the case for me though as I was huge into Marvel Legends once upon a time. I basically stopped around the time Hasbro was awarded the Marvel license. I felt there was a dip…
Keep reading
Back downstairs, Sabrina is happily playing with her new pony toy and her pencils. Olivia asks the Horse how he got her to come back down and he returns to the Italian mob boss voice and says he “Made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.” They have a laugh and Ethan tries his catchphrase again. He once again gets no reaction from the studio audience, while the actors look embarrassed for him. Olivia then compliments the Horse on his idea for writing a letter from Sabrina’s parents. He tells her he didn’t do it while she and Ethan deny responsibility. The camera then pans to the star tree topper and we hear a “Ho ho ho!” as the episode within the episode ends.
The Nostalgia Spot 