We’re into the final days! Yesterday, we took a look at one of the most wholesome and pure Christmas specials around in The Snowman. Today, we’re mostly looking at the polar opposite. I’m talking crass, gross, adult animation with some gentle stuff to round things out. This is a tough area of the list as we’re talking about the best of the best. I’ve also ranked the top 25 on two occasions now and there’s a temptation to mix things up, but I don’t like change for the sake of change. As a result, this might not be full of surprises from here on out if you’re familiar with my previous rankings, but we still have a few to get to that were unranked in 2020 when I last did this. One such show is batting lead-off for us today and it’s one that probably doesn’t have mass appeal.
31 – Solar Opposites – A Very Solar Holiday Opposites Special
Solar Opposites is a show about a family of aliens who flee their home world to Earth with the goal of terraforming it to suit their needs, but the pull of Earth culture seems to slow down their mission as they grow comfortable with life on the blue planet. This special released on Hulu in 2021 is the sort of Christmas special that really wants to crap on a lot of more popular stuff. Chief among them the movie Jingle All the Way. I think I’m on record as saying that movie is terrible so it doesn’t bother me that the plot is centered around how bad it is, but Solar Opposites doesn’t stop there. We also get shots of one of the characters having sex with Clarice from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and plenty of blood, guts, and gore. So what makes it good? Shock value? No, it’s the willingness to have the characters embrace the holiday like only a mad man with an extensive blog on the subject can relate to. This one is all about getting that big, Christmas, boner and then feeling like it’s not good enough. The plot literally causes the main characters to lose their Christmas spirit though sci-fi means, but sometimes in life we can all relate to the feeling of it being Christmas, but not feeling like it is Christmas. And it’s really, really, funny if you like this sort of thing. Not every joke lands, but the volume is there.
30 – South Park – Woodland Critter Christmas
If Solar Opposites is too crass for you then I’m afraid it doesn’t get any better with the South Park episode “Woodland Critter Christmas.” This one was much talked about the second it aired. The first act paints it as a very by the numbers Christmas special starring a bunch of talking animals. Stan is the central figure and he finds them tiresome and it seems like that’s going to be the joke – an unwilling participant in a crappy Christmas special. Then the swerve comes in. Stan helps vanquish a mountain lion that was plaguing the cute, little, critters only to find out that mountain lion was the only thing standing in-between humanity and the birth of the antichrist. The critters are revealed to be a pack of Satan-worshipping mongrels who celebrate immediately with a blood orgy, and the rest is history. It almost doesn’t matter what follows because the episode peaks there with that bit of shock humor. And if that isn’t something that would make you laugh then this very clearly isn’t the Christmas episode for you. I do admit, it’s not as good on repeat viewings as the reveal is a huge part of the episode’s success, but it holds up better than I would have guessed. And if you have had to endure something like The Chucklewood Critters, the climax of the episode is pretty cathartic.
29 – King of the Hill – The Unbearable Blindness of Laying
Those first two entries are probably the most perverse of the entire list so you can now exhale if you want something a little more family friendly, though this episode of King of the Hill isn’t quite that. This is the episode where Hank’s mom brings her new boyfriend with her for Christmas at the Hill residence. When Hank forgets his novelty foam finger in the house while on the way to the big game, he returns to witness a horrible sight – his mother getting plowed on his kitchen table by the new boyfriend. The shock of such a sight causes Hank to lose his sight and he has to try and keep it under wraps. He, of course, can’t and then has to come clean about what caused his blindness. His inability to accept his disability and also to just communicate with those around him leads to lots of awkward and humorous situations throughout the episode. It’s the type of humor King of the Hill handles well, but the catalyst for the plot is what really helps it to land.
28 – Shrek the Halls
Less adult, but still gross in parts, is Shrek the Halls. I’m not much of a Shrek fan. The movies are a little much for me. I can appreciate the fractured fairy tale approach to the original, but can’t really tolerate the soundtrack and the visuals have not aged well. To my surprise, what has aged well is this Christmas episode produced basically in tandem with the third film in the franchise. It builds off a solid premise of Shrek, being an ogre, having no concept of Christmas and trying to figure it out for the benefit of his young family. Only he’s a bit embarrassed by his lack of Christmas knowledge and has to contend with Donkey, who he finds supremely annoying (we all do). Shrek’s little family Christmas turns into a big, unwanted, party that ends in disaster and the ogre has to learn a lesson about what family really is. It moves along at a nice pace and since it was produced with the third movie the production values are actually quite high. The usual voice cast is present and I think everyone is here. I confess I don’t remember anything about Shrek the Third. I also think these characters just work better in a short format. No one is able to overstay their welcome so a very obnoxious character like Donkey is able to remain funny as opposed to annoying. I think Shrek is poised to make a comeback in the not too distant future, but I have a hard time believing it will be as good as this little half hour Christmas special.
27 – The Simpsons – Grift of the Magi
This episode of The Simpsons comes after the show’s golden era, but every time I return to it I think I like it a little more. I considered ranking it higher, but I’m sticking with #27 which is no slight. This one begins like a conventional episode where the kids are stuck inside leading to a humorous situation that results in Bart breaking his coccyx. Confined to a wheelchair, Bart has trouble going to school because Springfield Elementary isn’t up to code forcing the school to turn to the mob for help (in reality, the mob forces itself onto the school). This causes the school to go bankrupt and then the Christmas element enters. First via a school play to coax the miserly Mr. Burns into making a donation that fails, and then via a toy company that takes over the school to use it as a testing ground for new toy ideas leading to the creation of Funzo. The episode just keeps rolling from there as there’s no B plot, it’s just one joke after another. It’s a pretty entertaining and unexpected ride with a terrific resolution. It just continues to make me laugh year after year and it’s a no doubt top 3 Simpsons Christmas episode. I just can’t bring myself to rank it above what I consider to be the top 2.
Don’t confuse this placement of The Flintstones one spot ahead of The Simpsons as me saying The Flintstones can even hold a candle to the more recent series. I just have a real soft spot for this hour long special that arrived in 1977. I used to look forward to catching this one on Cartoon Network annually because something about it just works for me, even if I’m not much of a fan of the franchise. This is basically an extended version of the episode “Christmas Flintstone” where circumstances are altered, but mostly it just gets Barney into the mix. Santa falls off of Fred’s roof and hurts his ankle meaning Fred has to fill his shoes. Literally. Barney gets to ride along as Fred’s elf and the pair need to make all of the deliveries for Santa and make it back to Bedrock for a work Christmas party or else Fred risks getting fired. Not only does it recycle some of the plot of a prior episode, it also recycles songs from the Hanna-Barbera production A Christmas Story. I guess the thinking was that special wasn’t a big hit, but why let the songs languish there? The pacing isn’t perfect, but I enjoy the ride and it’s still one I have to come back to every year.
25 – The Simpsons – Marge Be Not Proud
Just sneaking ahead of “Grift of the Magi” is this story about a mother and her son. This is a low key Christmas episode of The Simpsons, though don’t mistake that for unfunny. There are some all-timers in this one like everything surrounding the fictional video game Bonestorm and the ending with Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge. In between all of that is Bart stealing a copy of the video game he covets and getting caught, nearly keeping it from his parents, and getting caught again. Marge is left to wonder if her little boy is no longer her little boy while Bart just really wants to make it up to his mom, but the wound he inflicted is just going to take some time to heal. It’s the type of Christmas episode that will make you want to call your mom when it’s over and it gets me every time. Now, buy me Bonestorm or go to Hell!
24 – Bob’s Burgers – Christmas in the Car
The best Bob’s Burgers Christmas episode takes place mostly in the family wagon. Linda, unable to contain her enthusiasm for Christmas, put up the tree too early and we get a wonderful montage of her doing so, then having to redo it because it dies. By the time Christmas Eve arrives the tree is well past dead and a fire hazard, but you can’t Christmas without a tree, Bobby! So, the family piles into the car and heads out on Christmas Eve to get yet another tree. Meanwhile, the kids are plotting to set a trap for Santa Claus which snares their buddy, Teddy, who had to go to their house to turn off the oven when the search for a tree stretched too long. Bob runs afoul of a large truck leading to a road rage incident and the Belchers suddenly fearing for their lives. There’s a great guest spot by Bobcat Goldthwait and some nice payoff with a couple of episode-long jokes. My only issue with this one, and it’s one I can’t really hold against it, is that it outs the Santa myth via an exchange between Bob and Tina where he discovers she still believes in Santa Claus. I say I can’t hold it against it because this isn’t a show aimed at kids, but that one, quick, exchange has kept me from sharing this one with my kids. I’m pretty sure they don’t believe anymore, but they haven’t admitted it and I have yet to cop to anything so we’re just all comfortable living a lie for now. When that lie is out in the open, we’ll come together as a family and watch “Christmas in the Car.”
23 – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Okay, now we can move onto some more traditional Christmas special fair and it doesn’t get much more traditional than Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. This one is pretty much thought of as one of the original Christmas specials. Mr. Magoo beat him to it, but I don’t care for that one (hence why I’ve never looked at it for this thing) and he hasn’t exactly passed the test of time. The Rankin/Bass stop-motion special has been airing annually since 1964. It’s an institution at this point. You really don’t need me to tell you what it’s all about because you have probably seen it many, many, times. You also already know if you like it or not and right now you’re either thinking I have it too low or too high. I’m not sure how many would actually say it’s in the top 25, but way in the back like I am. And this one is largely carried by nostalgia and tradition, but I do still enjoy it when I sit down and watch it, just only once a year for me. A lot of the other ones up here I’ll watch multiple times because I’m a Christmas junkie, but Rudolph is one and done, but that is also partly because it’s an hour long. It’s an endearing story and the deer puppets hold up better than a lot of the other ones from Rankin/Bass. I’ve already said plenty. It’s a classic – let’s move on.
22 – Frosty the Snowman
Did you know that there are several Frosty the Snowman specials that air around this time of year, but this is the only one that’s a Christmas special? Frosty’s Winter Wonderland, Frosty Returns, The Legend of Frosty the Snowman – these all do not mention Christmas at all and nothing suggests that they take place anywhere near Christmas time. It’s fine since the original song isn’t really a Christmas song either, it’s just a wintery song about a snowman coming to life. Rankin/Bass made it a Christmas thing and thus we associate Frosty with the Christmas holiday. This special is another that has endured. It’s pretty much this and Rudolph these days when it comes to network TV. ABC pushes the modern Disney stuff, and some of that is quite good, but only Frosty and Rudolph remain from when I was a kid (and my parents, for that matter). And I love this one. It’s got some great performances, a fun little story, and even a little sadness. I still say the darkest moment in any Christmas special would be what happens offscreen in that green house. Karen literally had to watch her friend melt to death. Does melting hurt? Can Frosty feel pain? We don’t know, but that must have been torture for both. Professor Hinkle, frankly, got off easy in the end.
And that does it for today. Tomorrow, we continue this countdown with 11 entries because it felt weird to end the thing with a top 11 as opposed to a top 10. Just what made it into the top 21? Well, you could probably spoil it for yourself by going back and seeing what I had to say in 2020, but I recommend you don’t. It’s more fun that way.
Can’t wait until tomorrow for more Christmas? Check out what we had to say on this day last year and beyond:
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Dec. 23 – Bluey – “Verandah Santa”
When it comes to The Christmas Spot, I have very few rules. I definitely favor animated Christmas specials, but that’s not some rule I’ve created for myself. The programs don’t have to be all ages, they don’t have to be “nice,” and they certainly don’t have to be any good as I’ve looked at an…
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