Whenever I approach another year of The Christmas Spot I usually have some kind of goal in mind. Maybe one could even think of it as a theme. The past few years I’ve made it a point to highlight some of the best Christmas specials I covered in the past, but felt I had short-changed the first time around. And that’s kept up, though after this year that task will basically be accomplished. It’s not the only goal I had this year as I also wanted to spotlight a lot of stuff I had just overlooked up until now. That’s why we’ve had some Looney Tunes themed posts this year and you could even count Scooby Doo as part of that. The other big one was to really dive into the Nicktoons.
Some of this drive to highlight more Nicktoons is born out of nostalgia for 90s properties. The Nicktoons were quite popular and there’s probably an appetite among my readers to engage with them at Christmas. There also were a fair amount of holiday specials produced by Nickelodeon for these shows and as someone who loves Christmas I want to make sure I’ve seen them all. Most of them I remember to some degree, while others I’ve completely forgotten about or missed entirely. The other motivating factor here is that now all of these shows are very accessible via Paramount+. That’s certainly a good thing, but as we saw with HBO Max and Disney+ this year, all of that content you see today isn’t guaranteed to be there tomorrow. And if you’re going to do an annual advent calendar of Christmas specials, streaming is the easiest way to interact with such episodes and specials so I do feel a sense of urgency with some of these properties.
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters was the fifth of the Nicktoons and the second created by Klasky-Csupo. It premiered in 1994 and its creation is primarily credited to Gábor Csupó and Peter Gaffney with a lot of input from director Igor Kovalyov. It’s a show about young monsters Oblina (Christine Cavanaugh), Krumm (David Eccles), and Ickis (Charlie Adler) who are all students in monster school just outside New York City. They attend a boarding school located in a dump overseen by The Gromble (Gregg Berger) who is tasked with teaching them how to scare humans and, perhaps more importantly, how to not get caught by said humans. It’s a little bit like Monsters Inc which followed this only there’s no monster world they travel from and the scares don’t power their society. They basically just scare because that’s what monsters do.
The show ran from 1994 through 1997 with reruns following that kept it on the air for quite awhile. It received the standard Nicktoon episode order of 52 which was broken up into multiple broadcast seasons. It was a bit of an odd inclusion to the lineup as, following the creation of Rocko’s Modern Life, the Sunday morning Nicktoons block had been made a whole two hours, but now they had five shows. Nickelodeon by then was premiering a lot of the new The Ren & Stimpy Show episodes during its Saturday night timeslot and fellow Nicktoon Doug wasn’t going to be around much longer so things did kind of work themselves out.
The show does have a very interesting style. It’s undeniably Klasky-Csupo, but with monsters as the main characters those almost intentionally ugly character designs work very well with the show’s setting. All of the monsters are oddly shaped with lots of grotesque details about them. There is a more scatological humor at play in the show, though I would say it’s not as gross as Rocko or Ren and Stimpy. These monsters do live in a landfill and get around the human world by flushing themselves down the toilet. Toenail clippings are their currency and monsters like Krumm rely on their grotesque odor in order to scare humans. Some of the designs though are just really fun. Krumm was always a favorite of mine as he doesn’t have eye sockets. His face basically ends at his nose so he’s forced to carry his eyeballs around over his head. This can cause problems when he needs to use his hands for something else, but he doesn’t mind sticking his eyes in his mouth or even on the ground. They’re surprisingly durable.
If you’re a 90s kid then it’s likely that you’re familiar with Aaahh!!! Real Monsters and it’s also possible you’re saying to yourself, “Wait, I don’t remember that show having a Christmas episode?” And you would be partially correct. This one is a little bit of a cheat, but you know when you have to do 25 of these things every year you’re willing to settle for “close enough.” The sixth episode of season one features the segment “Gone Shopp’n” which places the three main characters in the mall decked out for Christmas. Only, it’s not actually Christmas, but a Christmas in July sale. If you didn’t know that detail then it likely wouldn’t matter as this looks like a Christmas episode. It aired in December, so it sure looks like it was timed as the show’s Christmas episode that year, but maybe they felt that by making it a Christmas in July episode it would give the network more freedom to re-air it as they saw fit? I don’t know, but we’re counting it so let’s go!
The episode begins, as all episodes of the show do, with a spooky, but lively, theme song set mostly to clips from the show. It’s composed by Drew Neumann and the song is punctuated with a stock scream (I don’t think this is another instance of the famous Wilhelm scream) since the show is called Aaahh!!! Real Monsters with the “aaahh” portion meant to be a scream. It’s a clever bit of wordplay that makes the title so much more interesting than if it had been called Real Monsters. It also made things more interesting on the Nickelodeon hype man when doing TV spots for the show.
“Gone Shopp’n” is the second segment of the episode following “Monsters Don’t Dance.” It’s going to be a single setting segment as it starts and takes place at the Valley View Mall. It’s all decorated for Christmas in July which really makes it no different from just Christmas. I don’t even see a Hawaiian Santa anywhere so I’m puzzled why they even bothered to make this Christmas in July. Maybe someone at the studio was adamant that this show never have a true Christmas episode? There’s a quick cut of the face of a security guard who looks pretty intense, before we see some additional cuts of another gentleman apparently sneaking into the mall. He’s actively avoiding the guard and clearly up to no good. He also seems very interested in a ski sale.
A voice over the P.A. alerts us to the fact that the mall is closing in five minutes. Inside a store called Crystal Clear, a young woman (Cavanaugh) is scoping out a crystal ball that the clerk is aggressively pushing on her. The voice actor for the clerk (Nick Jameson) is doing an accent of some kind, I think he’s supposed to be middle eastern, and it’s probably not the sort of thing you would see in a modern cartoon. The young lady doesn’t understand why the ball is so expensive, but the clerk encourages her to gaze into it for it will reveal the depths of her soul. When she does, it rotates on its own revealing an eyeball which blinks. The two humans scream and cry out “Monster!” as they run out of the store.
Krumm pops up from under the table as it was his eye that frightened the two humans. As they run through the mall in terror, the security guard (Rodney Saulsberry) from earlier just shouts at them, “Hey! No running in the mall!” He’s soon approached by the mall’s manager (Michael Tucker) who wishes to push the new security system on him. The guard seems put-off and hostile towards his boss and the new system challenging that it couldn’t possibly prevent horseplay on the escalators. The mall manager doesn’t care and just wants the guy to enable the alarm. They’ve been burglarized multiple times this month and he seems desperate to put an end to that. The mall cop agrees to do as he’s requested and vows that no burglar can escape this “Rent-a-cop!” As he says that, we see the shady guy from earlier is watching disguised as a mannequin in ski attire.
Ickis, Krumm, and Oblina poke their heads out from behind a corner. Oblina gestures towards a restroom and announces that’s their way out (remember, they travel through toilets) and the three take off. Oblina doesn’t make it very far though before something in a store display window catches her eye. Ickis shouts back at her in confusion over why she stopped, then joins her and becomes transfixed as well. Krumm then strolls up in confusion and sees what all the fuss is over: a lava lamp. The three monsters are completely enraptured by the novelty lamp. They can’t take their eyes off of it and we get a fun little cut of the lamp dancing in their eyes as the camera moves from monster to monster.
Nearby, the manager is leaving and passing on some final instructions to the rent-a-cop to remember to enable the alarm after he leaves. He also adds that he should release the dogs. The guard agrees and does that immediately. Two snarling, angry, looking dogs come running out and immediately go for the manager who narrowly avoids them by slipping out of the exit. He then can be heard shouting out “After I leave, you moron!” in response to him letting loose the beasts right away. The guard smiles sort of sheepishly realizing his error, then presses the button on the security box that barricades all of the entrances, even pipes and toilets. Satisfied, the guard turns back around and catches the guard dogs running by which calls for another, “Hey! No running in the mall!” The guard then smiles to himself and…closes his eyes. He falls asleep standing up and in doing so his elbow presses the door button again undoing all of the locks he had just activated.
With the guard asleep and the security system disabled, our would-be thief jumps out from his disguise and immediately gets to work. He tosses a large rope net on the floor and then baits it with a juicy T-bone steak. He then heads over to a jewelry store with a hole saw to drill through the glass window. He takes a peek at the guard first then turns on the very noisy drill to create a hole in the glass. As he reaches in to grab the loot, the entire window shatters! He immediately looks back at the guard and finds him still snoring so he grabs the loot and moves on.
At the lamp, the monsters are still captivated by its warm, glowing, warming, glow. Ickis notes a tag that reads “Lava Lamp $20.00” and mistakenly thinks it’s called a Lava Lamp 2,000. The monsters all try to come up with a word to describe its beauty, but words fail them. Krumm declares it reminds him of his mother which makes him feel warm inside. Their religious moment is soon interrupted though as the dogs have taken notice. Ickis screams when he sees them and the three start running for a vent. Unfortunately for them, the guard is a little unsteady on his feet and his elbow has drifted back and reactivated the security measures which drops a series of bars across all of the exits once again.
With their escape routes cut-off, Oblina does the only thing a monster knows to do in this situation -she resorts to scaring! Unfortunately, the dogs aren’t impressed and the three are forced to book-it. They hit a dead-end at a barred up store and appear to be dead in the water. It’s Oblina who has the bright idea to “use her” to break into the store. She is an unusual shape and is similar to a crowbar and that’s essentially how they use her to prop the gate open. Krumm, with his eyes in his mouth, holds the gate up long enough for Ickis and Oblina to slide under it before he joins them, his ass left red and irritated in the process.
With the threat of the dogs momentarily avoided, Ickis wonders aloud what they’re to do now, but Oblina can only think of “the Lahmp.” She pronounces it by exaggerating the “A” sound which confuses Ickis, but Krumm informs him she means the lamp. They then all get momentarily captivated by the thought of it and seem legitimately depressed about being separated from the lamp. I’m thinking it might not be a good influence on their lives. Oblina vows that they will not be leaving here without it!
We get another shot of the wavering security guard who, once again, drifts back into the door release button. As the bars all retract from their various coverings, it would seem the monsters are in trouble. They have a plan though as we smash-cut to the crew crashing through the store display window in a little car. It sounds like it’s a battery-operated car as opposed to a peddle one. Ickis is driving while Krumm and Oblina can only watch as the dogs give chase. Oblina tries in vane to once again scare the dogs away, but nothing appears to be working. Even her weird technique that reveals some little monster living inside her.
Ickis cries out for someone to do something, and it’s at this point I noticed he’s wearing some old-timey driving goggles, which is pretty cute. Since Oblina has tried every trick she knows, it’s Krumm’s turn to try to stink them out, but they’re dogs. They eat their own poop, smells don’t bother them. Ickis takes the crew up the escalator and as he does the bumper of the car falls off. They drive under a bench and everyone ducks which takes out the windshield. It’s like Smokey and the Bandit! Ickis takes the car back down the escalator and through some Christmas decorations before driving through the central Christmas display and past the sleeping guard. He’s able to make a hard right and send the dogs smashing into some garbage cans granting them a moment’s reprieve.
It’s going to be a short moment though as the car comes to a stop and then falls apart completely. Ickis has had it, and with the dogs baring down on them once again exits the remains of the vehicle and prepares to unleash his ultimate move. When Ickis needs a scare, his technique is to enlarge himself to gargantuan proportions which usually does the trick, but once again, these dogs prove to be impervious to their monstrous tactics. Ickis seems resigned to his fate, but Oblina spots an advertisement for dog muzzles alongside a lasso sale (it seems like a very interesting store). With Ickis about to meet his end, Oblina and Krumm spring into action lassoing the dogs effortlessly as the muzzles settle over their jaws.
With the dogs neutralized, Oblina declares it’s time to go retrieve their lamp! With Krumm holding the pair of leashes, Oblina dangles a dog bone from a fishing rod and the monsters commandeer the store display Santa sleigh. Ickis questions how Oblina learned to do that with the lasso and she credits it to once eating a spaghetti western – hardy har har. That doesn’t explain how Krumm was able to do the same, but he can’t really tell us anyway since he has his eyes back in his mouth. Or maybe he can, since he has no trouble saying “Get along, little doggies!” His attempt to spur them on fails though as they just sit on the floor and stare at the bone. Krumm then spies a better motivator – the steak! He pulls the steak from the trap with a ski pole so as not to set it off then attaches it to the fishing rod. That does the trick as the dogs take-off, but without the monsters which was seemingly by design.
Now that the dogs have been properly dealt with, the real mission to retrieve the lamp can begin. Or it would have if not for the fact that a laughing Krumm, amused by his dog contraption, stumbled onto the net set by the thief and got caught in his trap. Suspended from the ceiling, Krumm calls out for help and informs his friends that he hates heights. Ickis is immediately put into a state of panic at the sight of Krumm high above them and Oblina has to bark at him to “Get a grip!” She then assures Krumm that they’ll get him down. Ickis seems to disagree even though he’s the one monster present who seems to have no trouble growing to gargantuan sizes, but I guess his power doesn’t work in such a way that it would allow him to simply enlarge himself to retrieve Krumm? Instead, he sarcastically asks if Oblina knows any monsters that can fly.
Hard cut to the whirling sound of a toy airplane. Ickis is the lucky monster riding in the plane, while Oblina controls it with a remote control. Ickis is screaming the whole time while the dogs go running by with the sound of jingle bells coming from the sleigh – this all feels like a deliberate attempt to show us what a heavy sleeper the guard is even without actually showing us the guard again. Oblina tells Ickis to stop acting like a baby and jump, which indicates to me the plan is for Oblina to basically “buzz” Krumm as Ickis leaps onto the net and cuts him down. Ickis turns to the camera and pauses his screaming long enough to inform us that he’s not having fun. Oblina brings the plane over Krumm and Ickis comes through jumping onto the net which knocks it from the ceiling. The two fall onto the waiting…lips…of Oblina who was able to enlarge her mouth like an inflatable raft to cushion their fall. The plane continues on and flies right past the snoring guard and slams into the wall creating a rather spectacular explosion for such a small toy. The guard doesn’t wake up, but does manage to utter yet another “No running in the mall.”
Free from the net, Krumm simply thanks Oblina while Ickis starts wailing about how he could have been severely hurt. Oblina is not interested in his complaints at this point and tells him he was safer in that plane than he is now. Ickis replies with an, “Oh really?!” and appears poised to go on a rant, but is soon flattened by the dog-pulled sleigh to which Krumm can only remark “Bummer,” at the sight of his flattened friend.
We then get to check-in on our thief. He’s moved onto the crystal store from the beginning and is using his hole saw on the glass door, which just shatters like the window from earlier. He enters and makes for the counter where he goes to use the saw once again, then thinks better of it and simply smashes it to steal…a geode? Far be it for me to judge value for a thief. We cut back to the monsters and Ickis is complaining about losing feeling in his right claw while gesturing to his left arm. I don’t know if this is a joke or an animation error. Oblina tells him that he’ll feel better once he’s back in the presence of the lamp and Ickis concedes as much. They then come upon it as the thief is leaving the store. He heads out, then upon seeing the lamp backtracks, smashes the window, and makes off with the lamp!
The monsters aren’t going to let this go as Oblina proposes they scare this man so bad that he sleeps with the lights on for the rest of his life! As they give chase, the guard once again bumps the doors button and all of the bars and shutters return. This gives the monsters precious time as they come upon the thief using a blow torch on the bars over the exit. When he sets the torch aside, he grabs Oblina. I guess he thought she was a crowbar, but upon seeing the monster she screams and pulls a bunch of guts or something out of her mouth. It achieves the desired effect as the thief screams and drops her before running off. The monsters are then able to bask in the glow of the lamp, which is apparently battery-operated or something for it’s still glowing.
The thief (Adler) runs up to the security guard and wraps him in a hug begging for him to save him from the monsters. As the guard is startled awake, his elbow hits the emergency alarm. The shutters then go up and the mall manager is there immediately with a handful of cops as they come storming in. The monsters are forced to dash away to a hiding spot while the manager starts congratulating the guard for catching the crook. The guard is understandably confused, while the thief doesn’t correct the manager since he’s still traumatized from the scaring. The guard then realizes the crook was caught and is happy to take the credit, despite doing nothing all night.
Hal, that’s the guard’s name, taunts the burglar before the real cops take him away. Then to just sort of add to the dysfunction of the night, the dog-sleigh comes racing by and the manager is forced to duck for cover as Hal shouts out “Hey! No running in the mall!” followed by another “Darn dogs,” once again. The manager then tells him how happy he is the burglar was caught and asks Hal how he did it? As Hal stammers and stalls the manager loses interest and decides to reward his security guard. Since he’s probably a rich guy who doesn’t actually like handing out money, he hands Hal what he feels is a suitable reward: the lava lamp. It had been left on the floor with the other booty and Hal accepts it in a manner that indicates he considers this to be a pretty shitty reward. When the manager presumably turns and walks away, Hal casually tosses the lamp in the trash. And at the bottom of that trash can, are the monsters reunited with their “precious” once again.
That’s how the episode ends. Even though it’s not a true Christmas special, the good guys get the thing they desired most this Christmas in July in the end. This is a very light, silly, sort of episode. There’s a clear goal for our characters and it should be an easy one, but those darn dogs just keep getting in the way. There’s some solid physical comedy and even some subtle stuff at play. The bits with the thief sneaking around even though he really doesn’t have to are quietly amusing and I like how no character points out how useless the guard is. The show is just confident in that its audience will get the joke and with children’s programming that isn’t always the case. The characters, especially Oblina and Ickis, bounce off each other well as their personalities clash. There were no moments that made me laugh out loud, but I was suitably entertained throughout.
The Christmas component is understandably muted in a show about monsters. We’re not going to get the usual feels out of this one and that’s fine. Instead, Christmas is merely a prop. It’s a way to decorate the scenery and make the mall a touch more interesting. In truth, you could take all of the Christmas stuff out of this one and it wouldn’t really change much. The only obstacle would be replacing the sleigh the dogs end up attached to. And it’s the presence of that sleigh that helps it pass my Christmas test since there isn’t an obvious replacement for it. It’s not like the dogs could pull one of those cars that are sometimes setup in the mall. Maybe a custodial cart? I don’t know, but there’s just enough Christmas that if it were all deleted the episode wouldn’t work.
All that being said, should you make time for “Gone Shopp’n” this holiday season? In a vacuum, probably not. If you’re marathoning the Nicktoons Christmas specials though, then sure, keep this one in the rotation. It’s brief since it only uses half of the show’s running time which is in contrast to most Nicktoons which dedicate the whole half hour to the holiday. It has it’s own flavor, and shows starring monsters are inherently cool, if you ask me. And should you wish to watch this, you can do so via Paramount+ or by purchasing one of the DVD releases of the show. It’s not particularly hard to come by and was released more than once so you have some options. Happy screaming!
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