I realize we just did a Christmas post the other day set in a mall, but at least this one is actually set at Christmas! And we’re pivoting from Nicktoons to Disney toons (which surprisingly don’t have their own fun branding) with the short-lived cartoon Future-Worm! I’ll be honest, before doing this post I had never heard of this show. It ran for close to two years (one season plus five shorts) from August 2016 to May of 2018 and is the creation of Ryan Quincy. Quincy is probably best known for his work as an animation director on South Park, a Christmas Spot veteran itself, but has had a few opportunities to oversee his own work. Future-Worm! is an animated show about a boy named Danny (Andy Milonakis) who is something of a genius as he’s able to create a time machine out of an ordinary lunch box. That time machine gets sent into the future and returns with a worm, the titular Future-Worm (James Adomian), or Fyootch for short.

It’s a pretty wacky premise, but the 2010s are full of cartoons with pretty wacky premises, from what I’ve encountered. My initial impression upon just viewing the show was that it had a very Adult Swim appearance to it. And I suppose that makes sense since the animation was provided by Titmouse, which made a name for itself via many Adult Swim shows. Titmouse has since gone on to really broaden its portfolio and is one of the more respected names in animation today, but there’s no denying that they’re really good at that sort of minimalist, almost intentionally cheap look a lot of Adult Swim shows (and something like South Park) embody. There also appears to be some influence to the design of the show from Rick and Morty, which was fast becoming the latest breakout hit for Adult Swim when Future-Worm! was in development. Even the concept for the show sounds like it could have been a Rick and Morty episode.

Despite my unfamiliarity with the show, I’ll do my best to relay what’s happening in this holiday themed episode in which one of the protagonists becomes lost in the mall at Christmas time. It’s a solid premise, but it’s a bit of a surprise that the one getting lost is our main character’s father, Doug (Quincy), and not the child lead. What happens to a man who gets lost in the holiday scrum and trapped in the mall after hours? It’s time to find out!

“Lost in the Mall” is the second segment of the episode we’re looking at. The first, “Future-Worm and the 54 days of Snordfest,” could also be described as a holiday episode. Rather than do both in one entry, I picked the more “Christmassy” episode of the two. If I need to fill a day down the road, I could always come back to it. This one begins with Doug declaring it’s “Holiday Eve,” and that this is a time for family, only he doesn’t get to finish his thought as he gets knocked over by patrons in the mall. It would seem the family is out at the mall for some last-minute Christmas shopping.

Doug sees nothing but senseless violence all around, but the rest of the family is just going with it. Danny calls for his dad to help push through the crowd while Fyootch informs him he’s here for a last run on the holiday themed latte. When Doug suggests he himself makes a mean latte, Fyootch shoots him down. He’s a bit of a connoisseur. Megan (Melanie Lynskey), Danny’s mom and Doug’s wife, is actually there to see how well her product is selling: The action figure chair! She holds up a sign for the product and it would seem she made a chair that people are supposed to buy for their action figures. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I’d probably buy such a thing.

Doug expresses his desires to just have a nice holiday at home by the fire. We even get to see how he envisioned this unfolding and I’m assuming regular viewers of the show would find this idyllic scene to be implausible for the family. Doug seems down, and Danny is too because he’s afraid he’ll never get a copy of Lettuce Delivery 2, the apparent cool game of the season. Danny basically gets stuck in a loop thanks to his anxiety over missing out on the sequel to the greatest game of all time forcing Fyootch to slap him in the face with the end of his tail. Danny thanks his worm-buddy for snapping him out of it, then asks for his help. Fyootch uses his tongue to press a button on a device fastened to his tail that sort of looks like a smart watch, but with buttons. It apparently makes him grow in size as he goes from being a fairly normal-sized worm to one that’s more like the size of a dog.

Once embiggened, Fyootch calls out to the mob that someone is giving away free money. This, not surprisingly, causes a stampede as people rush to get some cash and we get to see what they had been crowding around before: the mall Santa shop. Mrs. Claus (Paget Brewster) has a pretty sour expression on her face when she sees her crowd disappear and I’m guessing that’s going to cause some problems. As Future-Worm laughs at the mob for running for free money (which he thinks is worthless), he gets pelted by gingerbread. More gingerbread comes raining down on the family and it’s being tossed by the elves from the Santa setup. Mrs. Claus is now on a megaphone as well announcing there’s free gingerbread which, despite Fyootch mocking the dessert as gross, turns the mob around. The family is forced to run for their lives, but Doug slips on a gingerbread man. He picks it up to regard it in a curious fashion, and then a little girl essentially sets the entire mob on him by claiming he has the last cookie. It sure seemed like those elves had a ton more, but these are mob rules and they don’t have to make sense.

We cut to Fyootch at the counter of a coffee bar. He cheerfully announces that he would like one, seasonal, latte, please. The barista (Charlyne Yi), somewhat aggressively, calls for a gingerbread latte which shocks Fyootch. He then looks around and sees people sucking down lattes and chomping on gingerbread men and he’s horrified. He falls off of the counter in shock and starts backing away towards the door wondering aloud how someone can drink bread. He bumps into a store display gingerbread man which causes him to cry out in fear as he makes a break for it. This worm really doesn’t like gingerbread.

At the store Toysasaurus Rex, Danny is back to freaking out because he can’t get through a crowd. His mother is beside him when an alarm goes off announcing that the mall is dangerously overcrowded and that all patrons must stampede to the nearest exit. This sets off the requested stampede which Doug finds himself in. A girl comes running at him with a sign reading “The End is Near” which causes him to stumble and crash into a store display coffin. Pretty weird for such a thing to still be hanging around at Christmas, but okay. Danny and his mom end up crowd-surfing atop the mob and it works out for them as we next see them at home looking exhausted. Megan is reclined in a chair when she pops up screaming “Doug!” I wonder how long they were home before they realized they left Doug behind?

We go back to find Doug shoving open the coffin. It’s dark now and he’s in some, weird, goth, shop I guess. He questions if he died in the stampede and decides to call home just to make sure. Before he can complete his call though some shadowy figures emerge causing him to shriek, “Ghosts!” and drop his phone. We smash cut to the rest of the family literally smashing their way into the store. Megan seems uneasy about breaking and entering as she tries to assure herself the mall’s “Lost shopper insurance,” will cover the damage. Fyootch, who is still embiggened, wonders why Doug isn’t answering his phone, but Danny declares he implanted a tracking device in his father for just such an occasion (didn’t Peter Griffin claim to do this to Lois in a Family Guy Christmas special?) and his tracker shows that his father is in the security office for lost and found. Makes sense!

Fyootch gets the line of the episode so far with, “Typical, Doug. Whole place to himself and he goes to hang out with mall cops.” Danny then brings up that the toy store is on the way to the lost and found and they could stop there. Megan is apparently in no hurry as she points out how her husband loves to rummage through lost and found sections. Fyootch also has no intention of going straight to Doug as he’s planning on fixing himself a proper latte – one with peppermint. I’m not a latte person myself, but in the war of peppermint vs gingerbread as a flavoring agent I’m going to have to side with the worm here.

We cut to Doug who is now tied to a chair in a dark room with wavy, red, lines on the floor that could be mistaken for blood at first glance which adds to the danger. We then see the face of his kidnapper – some goth dude, who asks Doug if he’s a spy because he has some kind of device in his neck. Doug is surprised to hear this, but then tells the guy it was just his kid who implanted the thing. He’s then shocked to find it gone, and then two other even creepier goths emerge from the shadows to inform him they pulled it out and stuck it in the lost and found. They’re not buying his story, but Doug explains he got left behind and expresses his desire for a nice, quiet, holiday at home and we get to see his idyllic image once again. He’s crying now, and a third person emerges from the shadows, this one dressed like a princess (Chelsea Peretti). She relates to Doug’s feelings of abandonment and unties him. She then adds that he can be of assistance to them with their “special mission,” which horrifies Doug for some reason.

At the toy store, the place is in ruins and all of the copies of Lettuce Delivery 2 have been picked clean. In fact, it would appear that everything in the store has sold out (or been stolen) except for a full rack of the action figure chair. Future-Worm comes slithering in with his latte to talk down to a dejected Megan declaring that no one needs chairs for their action figures. I beg to differ, worm. We then jump back to wherever Doug is being held as the goths are apparently ready to explain their plan to him. He’s told they just formed this group this morning because they like belonging and they like acronyms. He pulls down a sign that reads “G.O.T.H.S. – Guardians of the Holidays” to better illustrate his point. Doug, demonstrating that he’s a real square, reads it as “Go-ths” with a long “o” vowel, but no one corrects him. The goth dude just continues to explain their mission is to investigate “this,” and he holds up a flyer that reads “Join Us! Enjoy Us!” and it’s a man in a pile of gingerbread men. A gingerbread sun is also shining down upon him like some sort of religious experience. Honestly, it’s a flyer worth investigating. They feel that someone is trying to replace regular families with gingerbread ones and they want to fight for families because no one ever fought for them.

The goth kid then concedes there’s a good chance they’re going to abandon their mission and just chill out and listen to music. These goths definitely are lacking in self-confidence as this isn’t a confession he’s proud to admit. They ask Doug if he’s willing to help, but Doug is clearly looking for a way out of this social setting. He theorizes that his family is likely worried about him, but the goths have a surprise. They show him the security feed which displays his family at the mall shopping. Doug can’t believe it, while the goths see this as a way to recruit him to their cause. They need a purist like him, and when Doug indicates he’s willing to help, they tell him he needs to first pass their test: by kicking his family out of the mall!

Future-Worm, Danny, and Megan are strolling past the Santa area from the episode’s beginning. Fyootch pauses to regard a standee of a gingerbread man which he strikes down and taunts with the question “Are you bread? Or are you cookie, because you sure aren’t a man!” Danny tells his buddy to essentially knock it off as they need to find his dad, but it turns out his dad has found them. They all gasp when they turn to see Doug, now in full goth regalia. He definitely doesn’t look sure of himself while Megan asks if he pierced his nose. We then hear the voice of the princess girl announce that they sell clip-ons. She and the rest of the squad emerge from the shadows and the princess one adds a “Hi Megan. Thanks for saving my planet. P.S. I work at the mall now.” Apparently, they know each other as Megan refers to her as Ennuisha (see episode “The Forever Five”) and seems genuinely happy to see her again.

Megan starts to go on a bit with her surprise reunion before essentially reminding herself that she’s both mad and confused at what’s going on. She demands an explanation from Doug who tells her that he’s joined their group. Fyootch has no interest in what’s going on and requests the keys to the car, but when Doug mentions the gingerbread conspiracy he’s suddenly all ears, assuming worms have ears. Megan doesn’t seem convinced and asks Doug if he got brainwashed by a secret society again? Doug has the rather childlike retort of “I didn’t get brainwashed! You did!” and goes on a rant about Christmas consumerism. Megan tries to defend herself by saying they rushed over to find him, but he throws the surveillance tape at them (figuratively) and they really have no response. Well, Future-Worm shoots back that he’d have gotten another latte if he knew this was going to take so long.

With that out in the open, Doug does as he was told to do and casts the family out of the mall. They hang their heads and slink off as Doug turns his back on them. The goth dude then tells him to snap out of it as they’re already gone and a voice chimes in to suggest they should have done the same! A lasso gets tossed from out of nowhere that binds the goths together. Then, they see their attacker: Mrs. Claus! And her elves! She offers up no initial explanation instead choosing to unleash a maniacal laugh revealing some sharp, scary-looking, teeth which Mrs. Claus isn’t typically known for. Then again, it might be hard to come by good dental up at the north pole, especially when you mock every elf that wants to become a dentist.

The rest of the family is shown walking through the parking lot with Danny asking his mom if they’re really going to have holiday morning without his dad? It’s at this point I’m realizing they’re avoiding the word Christmas – is that a Disney thing? I remember the Buzz Lightyear show did the same thing. Anyway, Megan refuses to do such a thing and vows to go back for Doug. Meanwhile, that very same Doug finds himself strapped to a conveyor belt while an elf piles up gingerbread batter on his chest which could be a subtle poop joke. Doug laments that his son is going to have a gingerbread man for a father and Mrs. Claus butts in to basically tell him, “Duh!” She wants to replace all families with gingerbread because families suck, or something, and this machine is going to achieve that. As Doug starts moving along, we see a hydraulic press is in his immediate future which I guess will merge him with the batter on his chest. Or it will just create some human-gingerbread mush.

Lucky for Doug, he has one heroic wife. Megan cries out to him from the balcony and comes swinging in like Tarzan on some holiday garland. She gets in-between Doug and the press and literally holds it up. This woman is some kind of strong! Doug is understandably happy to be reunited with his wife as Danny comes rushing in to unplug the machine. He then decides to taunt Santa over his plans being foiled which is awfully sexist of him. Mrs. Claus is rather quick to point out that this whole plan is her idea and the Santa standing behind her is just three elves in a costume. Not just any elves, gingerbread elves and their skin basically melts into shapeless mounds of gingerbread which is pretty horrifying stuff. Mrs. Claus then tells the shocked family that it is she who made gingerbread the flavor of the season.

She goes on and on about her efforts to advance gingerbread, but Danny casually interrupts to ask if she’s the Bread Baron? He then explains to the goth people that the Bread Baron is a nemesis of theirs and even refers them to the “Old Man Duck Head” video, which is a previous episode of the show. Mrs. Claus seems insulted he would think that she’s him and Danny is momentarily relieved, only for Mrs. Claus to declare that she’s really the Bread Baroness! She rips off her fleshy head to reveal a head that’s actually a gingerbread house which gets a laugh out of Fyootch. She then explains that her husband thought too small and didn’t think gingerbread was a real bread, which also explains why he left her for “a little French croissant.”

She cackles that she doesn’t need her ex, or anyone, but is interrupted by Ennuisha who points out that she’s doing all of this just because her marriage deteriorated. She relates to the Baroness and apologizes for that happening to her. The Bread Baroness is caught off-guard by this showing of sympathy and tries to dismiss it, but seems genuinely touched. She soon finds her resolve though and vows to carry out her plan to replace families with gingerbread ones so that people can simply eat their families when they get sick of them. Doug then steps up to essentially say “Not today, Bread Baroness!” He explains that families are imperfect, but they still love each other and there’s no replacing one’s family. They all share a hug, and then Doug declares that “It’s time to break bread,” though not with much bravado.

A narrator then chimes in to tell us what happened next. Still images of the family beating down the gingerbread squad play before us as the episode basically decides to “Yadda yadda,” what should have been the best part. Some of the stills are amusing, like the family clotheslining the Baroness with a giant candy cane and the crew stomping some elves into mud. We’re then told that’s how the family saved the holidays as a book closes on it. It’s revealed that our narrator is an older version of Future-Worm who just finished reading a story to a really old, and sleeping, Danny. This is apparently some holiday tradition. He then wishes us a “Happy holidays,” to close it out.

That show really did feel like Rick and Morty for kids. Doug is such a Gerry character while Future-Worm himself embodies the selfishness of Rick with the genius of Rick going to Danny, who being a young boy, also embodies some Morty. It kind of works and I definitely didn’t hate what I just watched, but did I like it? I guess I’m not sure. I was definitely annoyed by the avoidance of the word Christmas. I’m not one of those “War on Christmas” types and I think when you’re out and about at this time of year and want to send some holiday wishes to a stranger “Happy Holidays” is the perfect way to do so. I just find it annoying when a television show is clearly celebrating Christmas, but goes out of its way to avoid saying the holiday’s name. It’s not a make or break thing, just a pet peeve.

This one positions itself as an offbeat Christmas holiday special and it’s out to make the viewer laugh. It’s just not particularly clever. I feel like anyone can come up with an outlandish premise like a time-traveling worm that speaks like Otto from The Simpsons. It’s just after that how do you make such a premise work? The plot with the goths just wasn’t particularly funny. It’s like they thought of the acronym first and then tried to make it fit, but the characters added nothing and it seemed to only exist for the sight gag of Doug in goth attire. I’m also not sure why the character of Ennuisha was brought back, but maybe this show just likes rewarding its viewers with callbacks for the sake of callbacks.

What did work for me was Future-Worm’s disdain for gingerbread. It feels a bit like a Seinfeld routine (“What is the deal with gingerbread? Is it a cookie or a bread?!”), but it works given the character’s preference for peppermint as his chosen holiday spice. I just wish the episode got more out of it. We get the scene at the coffee shop, then it’s reduced to just an occasional quip out of the character. I wanted to see him take charge against the enemies and truly vanquish the gingerbread squad. Instead, the episode wanted to put the focus on the family, which I get, but it’s also not exactly an original conclusion for a Christmas holiday episode. And then to just not even attempt to animate the action part was a cruel joke. Would the censors have not allowed for them to do it justice? If so, then okay, but otherwise that was a cheap cop-out.

All that being said, Future-Worm! isn’t a bad show from the little I’ve seen, it’s just flawed. And perhaps that’s why it wasn’t around for very long. I’ve never really encountered any praise for it online, nor have I encountered the opposite. It’s just a cable animated series for kids that came and went without much of an impact and television is loaded with many such programs in its history. The last remaining question is should you take the time to spend your Christmas holiday with Future-Worm!? I guess if you want to show your kids something a bit different it has some value. If you’re an adult and looking for something truly subversive, there’s better stuff out there.

Future-Worm! can currently be found streaming on Hulu for those in the US. For those outside of the US, check Disney+. It’s also available for purchase digitally.