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August 22, 2023

Twisted Metal (2023)

By Joe

When I was a kid, Christmas was a big deal. Obviously, it’s a big deal for any kid that celebrates it, but it was an especially big deal for my grandmother on my mother’s side (Grandma). I wasn’t really aware of it, but she felt like she was in competition to get my sister and I the best stuff when it came to the holiday. It’s what she looked forward to the most. Unbeknownst to me at the time, but in the summer of 1995 my Nana, that’s my grandmother on my dad’s side, was already planning on giving me my own television for Christmas. Now, my mom has just one sibling, but my dad has eight. Nana had to figure out her own system for the holidays because she had nearly 20 grandkids to buy presents for. It kind of went when you’re little you get toys, and when you’re a teen, you get cash. It was that sweet spot in the middle where she tried to get you something nice, and in 1995, getting a TV was pretty damn nice even if it was a modest 13″ device. And because of the expense of the holiday, Nana had to plan that stuff out all year so she was in position to get the best deals she could.

To bring this on topic, me getting a TV meant Grandma had to really step up her game so the second the Sears Wish Book started showing up she had me seated at a table picking through it looking for the best possible item. I was pointing to little things here and there and I could tell she was getting uncharacteristically frustrated at my modest selections. She prodded me for something “big,” and in my memory, right after she said that I flipped the page and saw it staring right at me: the Sony PlayStation. At that point, PlayStation was brand new and retailed for $300. My mom immediately said “No,” but Grandma was quiet. I could tell the wheels were turning as she stared at that glossy print. Then came the bargaining. “Well,” she started, “between clothes and toys that’s probably pretty close to what I spend on each grandchild at Christmas.” Right then and there, I knew it was locked-in. Grandma had made up her mind and my mother was not going to talk her out of it. It would be the only thing I got that Christmas that came from a store. Grandma did knit me a blanket and I still have that blanket to this very day even though I haven’t had a grandma for over 10 years. And that PlayStation? Yeah, I still have that too.

Twisted Metal, the show, has settled on John Doe as its lead – a goofball smuggler who has somehow survived 20 years in this hellscape.

The funny thing about that PlayStation is, in my mind, it was an unattainable thing like a NeoGeo or a Sega CD. I never thought I’d have one prior to that day, so I didn’t even know what games were really on it. I asked “Santa,” even though I had long outgrown that, for Doom because I had played it a bit at a friend’s house on his PC and GamePro gave it a perfect score. Outside of that, I was clueless. When I did get that PlayStation, I was surprised to see it came with a demo disc. It had a few playable demos on it – I recall Jumping Flash having a level and you could try and three fighters from Battle Arena Toshinden could be tried out. In addition to those, there were video demos and one of those was Twisted Metal. It turns out, I’m not that into Doom, so I quickly spent whatever money I had collected between report cards and the holidays to get another game and Twisted Metal was the one I settled on. I loved it! And I loved the sequel even more when it came out. Twisted Metal Black is one of my all-time favorites, so yeah, you can consider me a fan of the series.

The uneasy relationship between John and Quiet is going to be relied upon as the pairing that anchors the show.

And since I’m such a fan, you would think I would have been excited when it was announced that the video game was being adapted for television. Truth be told, I could not have cared less. I assumed it would be hot garbage. How do you turn a glorified demolition derby into compelling television without it being just that – a glorified, now scripted, demolition derby? I’m no poet or anything, but at the height of my fandom in middle school I even tried turning the first game into a story and gave up. Even I, who enjoyed doing all kinds of fanfic and stuff like that, couldn’t make it work for an audience of one. There are definitely some colorful characters associated with the franchise and the story mode in Twisted Metal Black was fairly entertaining, but I just didn’t see how it could work.

Then it got some decent names attached to it. The game was adapted for television by the team of Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, and Michael Jonathan Smith. Reese and Wernick have worked together on films such as Zombieland, Deadpool, and their respective sequels. Reese even got started working with Disney writing films like Dinosaur and Monsters, Inc. That’s a pretty interesting resume, and Zombieland certainly feels like it might work with cars. Anthony Mackie was attached to star and the supporting cast was announced to include Stephanie Beatriz, Thomas Haden Church, Neve Campbell, and the duo of Joe Seanoa (better known to wrestling fans as Samoa Joe) and Will Arnett as Sweet Tooth with Arnett providing the voice for the character. I was forced to admit that I was intrigued, so when the show dropped on Peacock this summer I decided to take it for a spin.

Twisted Metal is set 20 years after the Apocalypse. The show doesn’t go into great detail about what happened, but essentially there was a massive failure in the power grid. I don’t know if it was a global catastrophe, or just related to the United States, but essentially everything went to Hell. Cities were sectioned off and the presumably wealthy and powerful remained inside the walled off municipalities while the rest of humanity was left to fight over the scraps. John Doe (Mackie) is a milk man. He basically does deliveries of various products between cities which makes him a target for vandals and such. It’s not an easy life, but it’s the only one he knows as he’s been doing it since he was a kid. He has no memory of his family or who he is, he just has a partially burnt picture to remind him of the life he once had.

Neve Campbell plays the mysterious Raven, who like a lot of characters in this show, seems to just be borrowing the name of someone from the games without being a true adaptation.

In the very first episode, John is given a special task by Raven (Neve Campbell), the head of the San Francisco city, to retrieve an item for her in New Chicago. The journey is essentially a suicide mission, but if John pulls it off in 10 days he’ll be invited inside to live out the rest of his days in relative peace. He gets a little taste of life on the inside as a show of sorts before accepting the job and we’re off and running. Along the way, he’ll meet Quiet (Stephanie Beatriz), a mute woman who was previously traveling with her brother until they ran afoul of Agent Stone (Thomas Haden Church). He’s the self-appointed lawman that’s going to bring the country back to law and order and his methods are brutal and fascist. He’s been able to amass a following though, which includes the duo of Mike (Tahj Vaughans) and Stu (Mike Mitchell). And then, of course, there’s Sweet Tooth who resides in Vegas and is someone no one wants to cross paths with.

Thomas Haden Church gives one of the best performances in the series as the uncompromising lawman Agent Stone.

Through circumstance, John and Quiet are going to end up an unlikely duo and that’s the foundation of the show. It’s basically an odd couple pairing that’s also a bit like a buddy cop road trip. Quiet and John are going to clash. John is a rather cheerful sort who wants everyone to like him, while Quiet is…quiet. She would rather not speak, though we’ll quickly learn that’s by choice. She’s had a tough go of things so it’s understandable that she would have a hard time relating to John, but she has her own priorities as well. And since our co-leads are male and female, there’s going to be some sexual tension to play up as well. It’s all very conventional, which is the show’s greatest failing. The dialogue is not nearly as inventive as we’ve seen in other projects by Reese and Wernick. Maybe that’s because the actors in those films did more ad-libbing? They want there to be a lot of jokes and witty remarks from our leads, but it all feels contrived. There’s not a natural chemistry between our leads, but it does at least get better. Oddly, the tipping point for me was the show’s eighth episode which is all about John’s car – go figure.

Come one, give us more of the clown!

What might frustrate viewers is the character of Sweet Tooth. He’s basically the star of the video game franchise and he’s introduced quickly in this show, but then disappears for long stretches. He’ll eventually get a pairing of his own (and I’m not talking about Harold, though he’s here too) that actually does work. I don’t want to spoil anything, but he finds himself riding with a character he plays off of well. Sweet Tooth is an aspiring performer and if people respond in an inauthentic way to his art he, well, kills them. He’s the type of character that others need to walk around on eggshells with even if he appears to be friendly with them. It’s pretty conventional stuff, but it works to create tension and at least with him I wasn’t always certain what was going to come next. The portrayal is great, there just isn’t enough of it.

As for the rest, there’s not a ton from the video games for viewers to latch onto. And that’s a good thing, as a direct adaptation would have failed spectacularly. There are plenty of references and even characters from the games, but they’re all changed-up quite a bit. They play more like homages, and in some cases the connection is little more than a name (wait till you see why they call him Mr. Slam). John Doe could be the same John Doe that’s in Twisted Metal Black, but his backstory is completely different. His car, which he named Evelyn, vaguely resembles some of the Roadkill vehicles from the series, but he’s basically a brand new character. As for Quiet, I’m not sure if she is modeled after anyone. If she is, it’s not obvious. Along the way, there are other vehicles that will certainly remind viewers of the same from the games. The show doesn’t just stick to the games most fans view favorably, meaning you will see some references to the 989 games so I suppose that’s good for those who grew up with Twisted Metal 3 and 4.

The presumed wealthy have been able to wall themselves off from the rest of the world and inside it’s basically like nothing happened.

The look of the show is very much in-line with other post-apocalyptic films and TV shows, though it’s merely window-dressing. This setting appears to have plenty of gas available and the characters have little issue finding food. They didn’t want it to be play like a survival genre show like The Last of Us, so I get it, but for some it may be irritating. It appears to have a solid budget as most episodes take place in a completely different location from the previous one. For a show based on a video game about car combat, there isn’t a ton of that throughout, but they did save some fireworks for the finale. And when it wants to, it can be a pretty cool exhibition of stunt driving and practical effects. Explosions, flipped cars, plenty of gruesome kills. You’re going to see a lot of people get killed in various and bloody ways. It’s all done with a pretty light tone which is what one would expect from Reese and Wernick. There’s a lot of jokes, many of which are of the obvious variety, but some genuine laughs can be found too. It’s probably not a great ratio though as I’d say 1 out of 4 one-liners land as intended. Some of the corny remarks are certainly intended to be just that, but plenty are not and will likely induce a groan or two.

Mike Mitchell’s Stu is perhaps the most sympathetic character of the first season and the one that’s easiest to root for. He was great.

Twisted Metal is definitely a show that’s probably better than it has any reason to be, but is it good? I waffled on that one as I watched each of the 10 episodes over the course of two weeks. Rarely when an episode ended did I feel compelled to jump into the next one, which is how I was able to spread it out. I can’t tell if the actors were just handed subpar material to work with, or if they’re just not getting it. I poked fun at the humor elements, but even the dramatic stuff can fall flat. It did at least get better and I was satisfied with where it ended up. Outside of the Sweet Tooth stuff, it just took until really that 8th episode before it became something I wanted to watch as opposed to something I was just killing time with. There’s one episode that’s essentially a bottle episode where John and Quiet are stuck inside a fast food joint for the entire duration of the episode. I felt like that was supposed to be the most important episode of the season, but it just didn’t land, and again, it’s because the leads just didn’t gel in a satisfying manner. There’s a way too on the nose metaphor about letting go in that episode that is supposed to land as a poignant moment, but for me it just looked like amateur hour. And even after 10 episodes, I’m still not sure if I’m sold on the John/Quiet pairing. And while I liked the performance of Beatriz probably more than any other actor in the show, I felt Quiet too often changed gears. She went from angry, tortured, woman who refused to speak to a quip-machine way too quickly and often for me. It’s like the show was only interested in the opposites attract aspect of their leads for a little while and then decided they should both essentially be the same and bounce one-liners off each other.

If there is a second season, it sounds like we’re for more of this and less ball pit shenanigans.

The first season ends with a setup for a second season. And if that second season comes to fruition, it looks like it could be more like the video games than this season. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a good thing, but I suppose they’ve earned the right to try. Per Peacock, where this show is streaming, it supposedly had a strong debut and the critical reception seems to be at an acceptable level. The budget for the first season was around $45 million and unless Peacock locked-in the cost for a second season with the talent involved, it stands to reason a season two will cost a little more than that. Is it enough? I have no idea as I don’t think anyone can figure out what streaming shows merit additional seasons and what don’t. And presently there are some pretty big strikes taking place over that issue so who knows? If you want some light entertainment (with gory violence) or are just curious to see how Twisted Metal could work as a show it’s probably worth a look. With each episode being about a half hour, it doesn’t take long to get through it. It just sucks that it takes a while to get going so some may not see it through to the end. As for me, I don’t regret spending approximately five hours of my life in this world and there was some enjoyment in spotting the references. It’s probably about as good as an adaption of the game could be and I think it does a reasonable job of finding the game’s ton as something between the wackiness of Twisted Metal 2 and the dark and grim Black. I’m not really that curious on where the show goes from here, but it definitely left me wanting a new, and good, Twisted Metal video game. Make it happen, Sony!

If you’d like to read some dated thoughts on Twisted Metal, or maybe a Twisted Metal-adjacent toy review, then check these out:

Greatest Games: Twisted Metal Black

The vehicular combat genre of games has been around for almost as long as video games have.  They either take the form of a more traditional tank battle or a more outlandish game of chicken with machine guns and rocket launchers.  As such, tracing its origins proves quite difficult.  For me, the vehicular combat genre…

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Twisted Metal (2012)

If you frequent this blog you may have noticed that I do not post many negative reviews.  That’s because, for the most part, I’d rather talk about things I like and enjoy and not things that irritate me or make me mad.  There have been some exceptions.  I set out to review all of the…

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Marvel Legends Deadpool 2 Two-Pack

Look through my various toy reviews and you’ll probably notice that I’m not much of a Marvel guy. That wasn’t always the case for me though as I was huge into Marvel Legends once upon a time. I basically stopped around the time Hasbro was awarded the Marvel license. I felt there was a dip…

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February 19, 2012

Twisted Metal (2012)

By Joe
Twisted Metal (2012)

If you frequent this blog you may have noticed that I do not post many negative reviews.  That’s because, for the most part, I’d rather talk about things I like and enjoy and not things that irritate me or make me mad.  There have been some exceptions.  I set out to review all of the Danzig releases which meant reviewing the good and the bad.  I also reviewed the X-Men trilogy which meant having to review the less than stellar third film.  Otherwise, I think most reviews have been fairly positive, especially the video game ones.  I suppose there’s a first time for everything, but it does pain me that my first negative video game review on this blog is going to be about a franchise I adore; Twisted Metal.

Twisted Metal made its return to livingrooms across the globe this past Valentine’s Day.  I recently made an entry in my Greatest Games feature praising the last home entry in this series, Twisted Metal Black, which came out over 10 years ago.  The new game, simply titled Twisted Metal, was announced a couple of years ago at E3 in grand fashion complete with a live-action Sweet Tooth driving his famous ice cream truck onto the stage during Sony’s conference.  Long-time fans of the series had been nearly driven insane wondering when, if, Sony would return to one of its oldest franchises.  The wait was long, but it did have an end, unfortunately it wasn’t really worth the effort.

Twisted Metal is not a bad game in the strictest sense.  Visually it’s quite nice to look at though not breath-taking.  The textures on the scenery are minimalist but that’s because the game was built for speed and there’s little need for gorgeous textures when the player is going to spend the majority of the game zipping around the various levels.  The cars look great, though from an artistic standpoint they do seem to lack in personality when compared with the older games.  Perhaps that’s nostalgia getting the best of me and an over-compensation on my part considering the drivers are no longer unique (more on that to come), but it is the impression that I get.  The soundtrack features a mix of original compositions that mostly trend towards hard rock and some licensed tracks featuring a return of Rob Zombie (which is actually kind of odd, considering he was only featured on the much-maligned third and fourth entries in the series).  It’s been quite a long time since I’ve driven around a war zone with “Dragula” booming through my television speakers.

The game mechanics of Twisted Metal remain largely unchanged as well.  You still drive around blasting opponents with fire, power, homing, and all sorts of other missiles all the while relying on powered-up special attacks.  A lot of the vehicles have a familiar feel as well.  Sweet Tooth (the truck, not the character) still handles like a bath tub on wheels and Dark Side has a punishing ram attack.  Some vehicles return with new special attacks this time out, such as Roadkill’s mini gun and Junkyard Dog’s Taxi.  This one even includes a helicopter for the player to try out, something that was to be included in Black but had to scrapped at the eleventh hour.

Cut scenes are done with live actors. Also, Mr. Grimm isn’t dead.

If a lot of the game is more of the same, why am I threatening a negative review?  Well, a lot of reasons really.  While the gameplay is fairly consistent with prior games, there’s a different feel to the physics this time out.  It’s as if the development team decided the more chaotic the battles, the better.  Now it seems like only the slightest bump or the most insignificant weapon can send your vehicle bouncing around like a tennis ball.  This causes vehicles to get hung-up on walls and proves especially annoying during the games racing levels.  You read that correctly, there are racing levels this time around and they are atrocious.  Twisted Metal was never designed to be a racing game and that is more than evident when it tries to be one.  The levels are still wide open but force you to travel through gates or checkpoints along the course.  The thing is, there is no set course so the whole thing becomes an exercise of trial and error as you try to figure out which way the game wants you to drive.  The final race is particularly annoying as it has you speed over ramps and rooftops where one error spells doom.  And passing through all of the checkpoints first is something only required of you, the player, the AI controlled opponents are free from that restriction.  This is a pretty big deal for the final race because finishing in first is meaningless, it just reveals on your map where the final, mobile, checkpoint is.  Activating this final checkpoint causes all of the other cars to explode, which means if one of the AI cars activates it first, you lose.  And since they don’t have to pass through all of the checkpoints it really becomes a crap shoot.  If there’s one silver lining for the racing levels it’s that there are only three, but you’re likely going to hate all of them.

And that wasn’t the only way the team “spiced” things up with the single player, there’s also electric cage and endurance matches.  Electric cage match sounds pretty cool, but it’s not.  Again, it just turns into another gameplay tweak that’s annoying, not enjoyable.  In these levels a laser cage surrounds an area for a set amount of time.  While inside it, you’re fine but leave it and a timer is activated.  Once that timer reaches zero you begin to take damage.  Every minute or so, the cage vanishes and reappears at another part of the level setting off a mad dash to find it.  One of these levels occurs in an amusement park and the serpentine like roads make it a challenge to find the damn thing once it re-spawns.  It just doesn’t add anything enjoyable to the experience.  The endurance rounds are actually okay.  These require the player to kill a certain amount of enemies while keeping a large number of them on the map throughout.  This creates a more chaotic experience that actually works.  I still prefer the more traditional levels, but this one’s okay.

Since the game only has three characters, each one can drive whatever vehicle he or she chooses.

Then there’s the Juggernaut levels.  The Juggernaut is a semi with a full trailer armed to the teeth.  It also spawns a new enemy every thirty seconds.  In these levels you have to kill the Juggernaut as well as all other combatants.  Later levels introduce a second Juggernaut and a more powerful version at that.  These levels are okay and do prove challenging and serve as a sort-of mid-point boss fight for the three single player scenarios.  The true boss battles comprise their own level, though usually play out in stages.  The first one was pretty cool and pits the player against two over-sized monster trucks. The second, a battle against a mech-like enemy, was annoying.  Part of the reason for its annoyance is the inclusion of the dreaded electric cage for a portion.  The final boss, a Sweet Tooth themed one, is much better.  It’s both over-the-top and inventive and a good way to close out the third and final story.

And yes, that is also correct, there are only three single player stories.  This has been known for awhile and dreaded by me.  My hope was that since only three existed they would be more involved and longer than before.  Instead, they’re shorter than what was in Black and can be completed in less than an hour a piece.  They kind of form one long story and have to be played in succession from Sweet Tooth, to Mr. Grimm, and to Dollface.  Sweet Tooth is pretty much the same Sweet Tooth from Black.  In his scenario we get to see the origins of this Sweet Tooth and what he hopes to get from Calypso when he wins.  The story unfolds in three parts, an intro movie, a middle, and an end.  These are done with live actors instead of CGi.  It’s actually not bad, and Sweet Tooth’s story, while predictable, was entertaining.  Grimm’s was less so, and Dollface’s more like Grimm’s.  There are a couple of ending movies that serve as epilogues that bring the focus back to Sweet Tooth, which proves to be a good thing.  This game’s Calypso is also very different from previous ones.  He kind of looks like Jack Black from The White Stripes and is some sort of entrepreneur and has his own company.  He still bestows wishes on the victors but I found him less entertaining this time around.  The twists were all very predictable and thus less amusing.

The single-player was a tack-on thing and definitely feels that way.  It’s a shame, because I loved playing through each one in Black.  Sure the writing wasn’t anything fantastic in that game but it was entertaining.  This game’s primary focus is on multi-player, something I rarely engage in.  I’ve never touched the online component of most of my games including Red Dead Redemption, Uncharted 2, Mortal Kombat, Smackdown vs Raw, and so on.  Because this one includes such a small amount of content, I’ll pretty much have to give it a shot.  It could be good, but right now the servers are all messed up leading to numerous network connection errors.  This appears to be a wide-spread issue and a patch is set for release next week.  Online is still playable for the truly determined, I’m just not among them.

I suppose that makes this verdict incomplete, but in truth, no amount of multi-player action can change my mind at this point.  Online matches may help alleviate the notion that I just wasted sixty bucks but it won’t change the fact that, as a single player game, Twisted Metal isn’t very good.  There’s not much content and the gameplay engine just isn’t up to par with past efforts.  I looked forward to the return of this franchise more than any other and I’m really disappointed it could not meet my expectations.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go fire up Twisted Metal Black and try to recapture those glory days long since passed.

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